The Tale of the Trail
X
Mon, Jul 18, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Death By Bukake and Just Justice will hare from McGees for a dozen
hounds. And the trail went west and then north and then east and then
north, and on and on to Wrigley. Then over to Diversey and Sherican for a
beer stop and on in. A total of 6 miles according to one sweaty hasher.
But I will give the hare credit. As he zigged and zagged north he never
went more then two blocks in the same direction. But back and forth and
back and forth through a lot of Splits and one Check. Or so I was told.
I know I only saw one before I gave up. Hadn't seen any other hasher in
well over a mile and as it headed north again at Halsted, I headed
south. I was really running shitty. Even for me. I did eventually pick
up on trail after Fullerton and ran it on in. Got in just in time to get
the shag bags from the shag shack and had them in circle as the FRBs
arrived. North Bangher Alley took another shot at RA from where her
career began, under the El tracks. WTF. Noisy Els again. After a short
circle we got into naming Just Justice. After much deliberation he shall
forever more be know as Shit T Situation. On Out
X
Thu, Jul 21, 2022, The Thirstday Hash. Dryrafoam
will hare from Ronan Park, umless it isn't Ronan Park. And then it
might be in River Park about three blocks north and across the river.
And so the change was announced on the Web
site, at several places. Unfortunately I looked at the place were it
wasn't updated. But I managed to find the start just in time and we took
off with a small pack of five. And I quickly fell behind, only ahead of
SnatchSquatch. And then he passed me at a Back Check and there I was,
running alone again. After two blocks. But the trail was well marked and
swept until I quit following the swept marks and just headed east
trying to short cut the trail. And I did, finding marks a little over a
half mile to B. and did a nice river walk to the On In. Here we held a
laid back short circle and everyone headed On Out
X
Mon, Jul 25, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Mommys Little Accident picked up his usual co hare, Gay Dancer and laid
trail out of Clarendon Park. We had 9 hounds including a Harriett for
once. Just Evelyn. Trail headed south and eventually over to the tunnel
to Lincoln Park just south of Montrose. A Check here had me in back.
What else is new. but I followed the pack to the north and towards the
lake and another Check. I got to it just in time to mark the check and
follow to the Harbor were False Advertising passed me. This went along
the Harbor heading east and I got stopped by some guy in a long white
beard. He was a runner and we talked and I tried t get him to come to a
future hash. Of course now I am totally behind the pack. So as the pack
did a loop around the bird sanctuary I short cut it and found marks by a
beach side cafe. And as I ran on I was soon passed and followed the
pack in a northward loop and then over to the bike path and on to a
shelter at about 4500 north where the hares were waiting with beer.
North Bangher Alley led our circle. So far so good. Now if we can just
get her to start running with us again. Nice short circle and then the
tall tales started until they ended and those that were left, left. On
Out.
X
The Tale of the Trail
X
Sat.
Jul 9, 2022, The Big Dog Hash. Mudsucker took the hash to territory
where it has never gone before, Lansing Il. and The location is the
Bottom Up Bar
and Grill. Big plans, but it lost somethings in execution from this
perspective. Trail was divided into 2 sections going past the bar
between them. It might have been a lot more fun if we all stayed
together as we got to the second section in the waist deep shiggy. Four
people went for just the B part. And that included 3 virgins. They quit
the trail in about 100 yards after realizing they would have to cross a
bridge on a country road. No future hashers there. That left Back Door
Bizzel taking on the shiggy alone with $20 Butt Slut. And just a steady
stream of nothing but briars and thorns and such was going to be a bit
much for the dog who does shiggy all the time. But that was just to deep
and no ocasional path to run down. So he had to abandon the trail after
several hundred yards of that stuff. All right, the rest of the pack
now. We had 10 people on tha A part of the trail which was just a loop
through a cemetery and some grassy area and a truck loading zone. Looked
like it was laid by car. I was walking and found myself walking with
Just Tookey and out of sight of everyone. We managed that okay, but
something like this just stretches out a pack for what it was all about,
the Shiggy to follow. So we finally head into the shiggy part. Red
flour on trees. The pack of 6 ahead of us had an easier time trying to
spot the flour on trees that were sometimes to far apart. We were two
and my failing eyesight didn't help. And the marks looked like they were
laid the day before. Just an opinion as the flour was hardeing as with
dew and such. But we struggled on and on and on. Often just following
the beaten path and sometimes just trying to find our way. It would have
been more fun with the pack. but with no forest paths it was just a
constant struggle. We finally came out to the road and no marks, but
finally spotted a mark across the street and into more woods. Another
couple of hundred yards of this and we came out at this lake where the
Beer Stop was supposed to be. And not a mark anywhere and we looked. And
of course the pack drank beer and just took off. WTF. Just Tookey
really wanted a beer at tis point. We heard later it was warm. So we
finally had to leave and guess which way to go. We got to the road and
shortly Back Door Bizzle came by from a gas run and gave us a ride on
in. And of course even the circle was over as they couldn't even wait
for us for circle. Back Door Bizzle had to leave and so I just took off
with him. It might be worth another try, but not the A part and stick
around for the whole pack at the beer stop and circle. Others on trail,
as memory serves me, Magnetic Muff, Stuffin Muffin, Lifa from the north
lands and Reverand Shut The Fuck Up, Necrophillac and Jack In The Box.
x
Mon, Jul 11, 2022, 7:00pm, The Chicago Hash.
Ritinal Cum Bubble and Antique Load Show hared from Loafers. Didn't
make it. But heard from Lower Wackoff was the only local regular hasher
there. But about 6 other hounds, virgins and visitors. Where are the
local hashers?
x
Tue, Jul 12, 2022, 7:00pm, The Chicago Full Moon Hash. Lower
Wackoff hared from Ham Tree Inn. A nice LW trail with his usual nasty
Checks and such that led to a beer stop in the woods after about 200
yards of trail in the woods in the dark. Anal Contradiction
was the FRB to B and didn't know he had to find the B, in a deep hole.
But Lifa finally arrived and found the B and Bingo and BooBee. Just Do
Me Slowly and Horn-E were both injured and walked the whole trail, and
almost kept up with the pack with those nasty Checks. Just Do Me Slowly
and Stuffin Muffin were also there. That first Check was a real nasty
Check that had the pack really spread out. But at the finish we headed
into the bar and their beer garden for a few pitchers of beer and our
circle. And all was good. On Out.
X
Thu, Jul 14, 2022, 7:00PM, The Thirstday Hash. Dickens
Cider hared from Wee Gees. Another trail I missed. But SnatchSquatch
reported a fun trail and about 6 hounds, including Famming Flaggott and I
don't know who else.
X
Sat,
Jul 16, 2022, 2:00PM. The Bushman Hash. Horn-E
amd Back Door Bizzle laid trail from Horn-E woods at Cumberland and
Irving Park. We had to park far away and seeing the crowds of team
sports throughout the area, we decided to just tell the pack that the
first mark was on the hill to the south. If you were ever there, you
know that hill. And we short cut to the hill and started trail there
with a check. But we were soon into some knee deep shiggy and scrittchy
scratchy and wandering through open fields of this. Then we came to our
big mistake. I may never go through this again in the summer. There is
an emergency road into the woods. North of this is a section of woods
that has had a growing infestation of thorn bushes. Well, once in, we
couldn't get out. And we struggled. We finally forced our way out and
hit that same road. We were aiming north to exit that thick section and
got so turned around we came out to the south, WTF. And we didn't
realize it. But we coon recovered and headed towards the river and a
Check. We missed this whole section of really nice running woods off of
Montrose. Damn. That was the goal. So at this check I looked for a path
that used to head southeast from there. Another wall of sticker bushes,
Impassable. So we skipped that part of the plan and headed south along
the river. Finally we headed inland and into some nice running area in
deep woods and then it wasn't. We were shoulder deep in tall weeds and
could only see a tree in the distance to put flour on. Very high. But
some fun stuff and no thorns and such. We got out of there and through
some picnic areas and over to the underpass under Irving Park and
another Check. True trail went along the river until a winding path
straight east. Well, anyhow it went straight east until we headed
straight south over the creek. More water guys, but shallow and narrow.
From here we are now running late so it was straight east again and at
the foot bridge we held a Check. Two trails out and both on until one
wasn't and they were on opposite sides or the creek. But we struggled
past more thorns bushes and finally our On In path. That led to a field
of waist deep shiggy, but mostly soft grasses and there that bastard
hare, Horn-E was sitting with about 12 foreign beers. And SnatchSquatch
was the FRB followed by Walking Penis and Just Ron. Then came Lifa and
Saving Myself For Two Black Guys. But where is Scent Of A Man. Last seen
at the Irving Park crssoing. And he is running lame with a torn
Achillies Tendon. Finally Back Door Bizzle arrives with some more beer.
And eventually Scent Of A Man. We held circle there, Bushman Style. and
after three rounds we got into naming Just Ron. The story has to do with
riding a bike and a collusion and his eye hitting the other bike. His
dad said it was the peddle or peg. but whatever, it popped his eye out.
Yeah, dangling from his head. And so forever more he will be known as
Popeye Got Pegged. On Out
xSwing Low and On ON
Horn-E
The Tale of the Trail
X
Wed, Jun 29, 2022, The Whiskey Wednesday Hash. Brother Incisor hared from Delilahs with
an assist from Hot Mess Bench Press for 7 hounds. We started south on
Lincoln and then west and south and west and west and all the way to
Damen. And I almost kept the pack in sight, but finally lost them before
Ashland and Fullerton. Trail went over the bridge to Webster and
then straight to that mentioned Damen and I didn't see a hasher
anywhere. But the trail was mostly swept and I kept plunging on. Now
heading east on this CCW trail as it worked its way to a park at Ashland
and the end of the 606 trail for a short shot stop. And just as I
arrived, I saw the pack leaving. And by the time I got to Cortland I
could barely see the last runner heading east over the river. I plunged
on and got to Clybourn and there was the last of the pack running off
after solving a Check. And I get caught by the light and lost them
again. But it was north and east through neighborhoods as the trail
worked its way to Fullerton and Sheffield. The hare said 4 miles and by
my calculations Jonquil Park would be exactly 4 miles. So as I run north
I missed a turn and keep going to Jonquil Park and I can't see a soul
in the dark. I really need that eye surgery soon. So I return looking
for marks and the mark I missed was in the shadows. A turn to this alley
heading north....to Jonquil Park. And there is the pack about to finish
circle. But hell. I'm just slow. They don't have to wait for me. About 5
to 10 minutes later, everyone was gone. On Out.
X
Thu, Jun 30, 2022, The Thirstday Hash. Sanding
Ovation hared from Lakeview Playground Park with an assist from
Urnestus(?). We had 13 hounds, Good lately. trail headed west and us
slow bastards were almost able to keep them in sight until we hit
Ashland. From here it was Horn-E, Coming Right Meow, Castro Dick Assist
and Scent Of A Man. Trail worked its way through some neighborhoods and a
park and then west on Diversey. We did a loop to the south and then
Checking at Diversey and Damen. Trail went north to Hamlin Park and then
we headed east. Except Horn-E. He headed down, doing a header on some
of Chicago's shittiest concrete sidewalks. Knees, elbows, hands and
head. Blood was gushing out everywhere. At least that was the reaction
of Cumming Right Meow. Actually just a little blood and what turned into
a black eye. And hell, as I type this a week later. I'm sitting with a
swollen knee and an ice pack. WTF. It was just a freaking little booboo.
But we walked in from there, to the start and a beer stop at the start.
Then it was off to the Lincoln Lounge for circle. Short. Finally after
getting called out for my trip to the head meets concrete, I was able to
wash off the blood. Then with $20 pitchers the pack soon dissipated. On
Out.
x
Fri,
Jun 31, 2022, The First Crack of the Moon Hash. Meat
Inside Her and Berts Special Friend laid trail from Sullys and we had
an extremely fast pack. NOT. Well, maybe Lifa, SnatchSquatch, and
Magnetic Muff are mid speed hashers. The rest of us cling to the back of
the pack. And that was perfect for two virgins, J. Andria and J.
Gregory. They were afraid of being left behind, but Lower Wackoff saved
them and came in DFL while waiting for them. But being a slower pack,
they were able to see the checking and such and get to enjoy the trail a
little more. We did run the neighborhoods and messed up one Check. That
is when a car drove by Stuffin Muffin who was following Horn-E. The guy
said to Stuffin Muffin, "That is the fastest, oldest guy I've ever
seen." And I wasn't even falling this time. Anyhow we covered the area,
still together and we headed over to Division and Halsted and a Check.
This went over the west bridge and then to the south. Where, we aren't
sure. Trail ran up to a movie set where they were going to be filming
some car crash scenes. Ooops. Can't go through here. Meanwhile Lower
Wackoff and I ended up on the other side of the movie scene and blocked.
So as we ranged off, we saw SnatchSquatch running north and yelling
about a movie scene and he headed into the north end of Goose Island. I
followed and soon after the foot bridge we were at beer. There was also
Lifa. And eventually the pack wandered in. And in, was along the river
on a nice walkway. And we circled there for a nice Moon Hash circle and
even the virgins got into the scene and told us they really like the
hash. The Moon was up and kayakers were floating on by. What wasn't to
like. But all good things have to end and after many tall tales it was
soon on out.
X
Sun, Jul 3, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Lifa hared from Its Too Soft's roof deck. He hasn't been hashing for
some time now, but he did open his roof top for us at the last minute.
Thanks. We
had 13 hounds for this trail and Lifa warned us about possibly running
over the TH3 trail from a few days ago. So off we go to the west and
north a bit and back through some alleys to Racine and Diversey. Tricky
Check at the corner and the trail went backwards past the turn to the
Check. So they were heading west and I was Checking east. Yeah, that
works great. Then traffic lights and they were all gone. Then the trail
went straight to the start of the old TH3 Trail. And On and On in a big
CCW loop. A few things were swept a little funny and a missed turn after
the third Check and now I'm really way behind. I finally hit a three
way and went straight and was at Jonquil Park. I'm done. It is to
freaking hot, I'm alone for some time now and I'm two blocks for the
finish. I'm done and headed over to the roof deck. Five minutes later
the pack came on in. Circle was held and all was going good and fun.
Then they called out those that served in the military for a down down
on Independence day weekend. Good. Then I called out Its Too Soft for
not flying an American Flag. I was told I better get used to it. Not.
This holiday was about the birth of America and not the special
interests of a minority. I would think we would still be Americans first
on this weekend. But we moved on. And after circle the famous Its Too
Soft grill was lit up and we had some hot dogs, brats and salmon
burgers. Well done Its Too Soft. Then it was hang out time and a bunch
of us vets had a good bull shit session about the life of vets in and
out. Then the pack slowly wandered off. On Out.
X
Tue, Jul 5, 2022, The 4X2H4 Hash, Berts
Special Friend and Meet Inside Her met in a bug infested little park
with no name.,for a great trail for a great pack of hashers.
Unfortunately there were only two hounds at the start, Lifa and Lower
Wackoff. Horn-E showed up two minutes after the pack took off. The trail
was the usual shitty trail set for a large pack. well, not really. It
wasn't that hard and Horn-E soon caught Lower Wackoff, slipped past him
at a Check and actually caught Lifa who was running in front and marking
all the Splits and Checks. And then Lifa left Horn-E behind and Lower
wackoff caught him at Halsted and they worked there way into the finish
together. A short beer stop and a shorter Circle and we returned to the
start. Here on a beautiful night we just hung around telling tall tales
and many beers were consumed and we watched the transformation of lowly
bugs into flying eating monsters. On Out.
X
Thu,
Jul 7. 2022. The Thirstday Hash. BiHoler laid trail from Dugans for a
short trail for short and tall hashers alike. We had 11 hounds on trail
and we headed east and over a bridge towards the loop. But after a check
it was just a loop and the trail was soon heading back over the
Expressway at Washington. Then over to Randolph where we ran around and
through a stream of sidewalk cafes and such. The fastest runners were
blazing the trail or off on Falses and there was a small pack following
along. Yeah, myself. And the new transplant Harriet ...Hes Still Limping
who was heard to say, "There is someone I can beat." Meaning Scent Of A
Man running in his walking boot. He managed to stay in front of her the
whole way. We also had two visitors in that back group, Minor Mouthful
Queef and Fuck Children Get Cookies. The back pack also included Cuming
Right Meow. I was barely hanging in and then at the last park and a
Split, I managed to see SnatchSquatch and then Berts Special Friend
going around the park and followed and got ahead of the back pack and
hung in to the beer stop. An interesting story after trail from Just Ron
(He needs a name). He was on a False and back tracking when he heard
two people having sex. He asked "Does this happen often." Not often
enough. Three others on trail were False Advertising FRB, LIfa and Hooch
B4 Cooch. After the beer stop we headed to the hares roof deck ten
flights up and waited for beer to finally arrive. then we held a quick
circle. Then a bunch of groupies showed up and tall tales and bull shit
really started. And I was soon ON Out.
x
Swing Low and On ON
Horn-E
HHHi HHHashers:See my calendar at www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/hashcal and my web site at HHHinChicago.com
Visitors
and new hashers (virgins), we start meeting at the listed times and
start hashing a half hour later. Time for a quick beer.
Anyone want off this list, email Horn-E at H3HornEH3@aol.com and it will be done.
New
hashers or visitors, because of the virus and lock down, many hashes
are back yards or parks. Outside. Be prepared for the current weather.
We occasionally charge up to $10 for hash cash, and/or BYOB. Hash cash
money usually goes entirely to beer, but might include costs for food.
HARES: Please get your locations updated ASAP but at least a week to 10
days in advance so we can publish them. Helps attendance.
Hashing
has always been open to anyone. Hares: If you can't invite all hashers
to "your" hash, perhaps you should postpone "your" hash to when you can.
Simply put, if you can't invite all, don't invite any. These are "our"
hashes and should be open to all at all times. If you don't know how to
make this work, ask us.
X
Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 7:00pm The Whiskey Wednesday Hash. Brother Incisor will hare from Deliliahs at 2771 N. Lincoln.
X
Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 7:00PM, The Thirstday Hash. Sanding Ovation will hare from Lakeview Playground Park as 1300 W. Wolfram, $10 Hash Cash. ThirstdayH3.com
x
Fri,
Jun 31, 2022, 7:00pm, The First Crack of the Moon Hash. Meat
Inside Her will hare from Sullys Place at Blackhawk and Dayton, Just
south of the North and Clybourn Red Line Stop. Parking is tough.
Remember, this is the Black
Socks Hash. $6 Hash Cash
X
Sun, Jul 3, 2022, 2:00pm, The Chicago Hash.
Lifa will hare from Its Too Soft's roof deck at 933 W. Wolfram. Around
back. Be sure to thank him for opening up his roof deck to the hash on
this rush basis. $10 Hash Cash. ChicagoHash.com
X
Tue, Jul 5, 2022, 6:30pm, out at 7:00pm sharp, The 4X2H4 Hash, Berts Special Friend will hare out of Aberdeen & Arthington, a park, and near the Field House.
X
The Tale of the TrailXThu. Jun 23, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
Just James and Garmin laid trail from Brands park for 13 hounds. Yeah,
another sausage fest. And within about two blocks they had their first
screw up. They missed a Check mark and people came to a corner and just
kept going straight. The pack finally returned when they ran out of
marks on a long two block stretch, WTF. But trail was found to the west
and we were soon off and running agin. And some of us in the back
drifted further and further back while they front raced on and O. There
were a few loops close enough for a short cut, but by then we were
stretched out enough that we never saw those way in front. But trail was
a big counterclockwise loop and eventually back to Belmont where the
pack was hiding just over a wall and drinking beer. And three hounds
actually came in after me. WTF. Then we walked back to the start where
we held a very short circle and then SnatchSquatch then led us in a
naming. That that one was fun and Just James was namedasdjkfg hell, I
can't read my own writing. That lemon aid is getting to strong. Anus
Contribution. Maybe. On Out
X
Mon,
Jun 27, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Happy Ass Grabber will hare from Park 574 and we had 12 hounds
including a Harriet Virgin and a visitor virgin. Scent Of A Man is in
town with his son and he ran with us. Then got lost or at least we
thought he was lost. Damn, you take your kid a thousand miles away,
throw him into a big city get toe and damn if he still finds his way
back. Hey, he might grow up into a hell of a hasher. Anyway I believe
the Harriett was Just Katy, but you know I can't hear and I didn't get a
chance to talk to her. Yeah, a pretty single lady. No way they are
going to let this dirty old man meet her. And as for SOAM the Younger, I
also didn't get a chance to meet him. I believe I heard Just Ron. How
about Run Ron Run. Now for the trail. Just after they took off, I
arrived and saw the sweep heading west with Scent Of A Man. I caught up
and he grabbed my shag bag and pointed us in the direction of a short
cut. And we missed the urban farm. Sheep, goats, chickens and a donkey
and an elephant. Wait, those last two were political signs. Then a back
check that would lead to a foot bridge over the highway. Would have been
great but Horn-E and Stiffy 4 Stiffies headed straight there. Anyway we
quickly regrouped and the FRBs ran by and into waist deep shiggy. Nasty
weeds and such for a couple of hundred yards. Then the hare directed us
into another short cut and he didn't remember where he laid trail. And
Lower Wackoff got caught on the first Check and was way behind and in
need of these short cuts. But we ran on and eventualy regrouped. Then
more nasty shiggy and tracks and such around this hill we have run up
way in the past. Coming out of this we headed south to something street
about 11teenth south. Again he wanted to give us a short cut, but we
decided to follow trail, Bad mistake. He pointed us south and for two
blocks we were good. Then a turn across the street and west that went no
where. So I headed south and got as fat as 15teenth St. and no marks.
Now I'm way behind and heading back to 11teenth St and that short cut so
I can catch up. Somewhat. This headed west and into a park. People
everywhere hanging out around parked cars. But no beer stop. So I ran
around the car blocking the path and through the smell of strong weed
and on into the park. Finally heading north, a few cars suddenly drove
up and almost blocked that path and guys piled out of the cars. I run on
through as I'm trying to blaze a trail through this trail for the
following Chief Runs On Club Foot. The Scent Of A Man. We finally get
through the park and start walking together. Probably/possibly dead
fucking last. We walk on and on and over the expressway and further
north and suddenly I see an angled street. Hey, Happy Ass Grabber lives
near here. And trail goes straight to his house where Lifa and Happy Ass
Grabber were just coming out wondering where the hell we were. His son
is missing and so is Lower Wackoff. So Happy Ass Grabber and Scent of a
Man get into a car and franticly ride out looking for One Lost Son Run Ron Run of
a Scent Of A Man. And Lower Wackoff just arrives in time for a
beer/roady and we all head back to the start. And right after we take
off, Ball Cock Dumper runs into One Lost Son Run Ron Run of a Scent Of A Man. All is good and we are all in. Except now the hare and Chief Runs On Club Foot
are riding off into the sunset or something like that as they drive all
over the area. And no cell connection available. Hell, we finally got
through to them and they came in and got their due in down downs in the
circle. And then all was good and some headed to a bar and some headed
home to howl at the moon at another hash. And I swear it is all truth.
On Out.
x
Swing Low and On ONHorn-E
The Tale of the Trailx
Tue,
Jun 14, 2022, The Chicago Full Moon Hash. Lifa hared from
Senior Citizens Park at 2228 N. Oakley. The last time he laid trail from
here it was cold and snowing and he had two hounds. This time it was
steaming hot and he had ..... two hounds. But there was one on the way.
Is it Lifa, the park, or doesn't anyone care about hashing anymore. So
Lower Wackoff and Horn-E took off on trail and were joined by a
streaking Stiffy 4 Stiffies about two blocks later. And then a Check and
Horn-E was On for several twisting alleys before they caught him. From
there on it was Lower Wackoff finding trail and Stiffy 4 Stiffies
finding trail and all three Back Checks. But in all that heat we ran on
and mostly were within sight of each other all the way. Then a Threeway.
Stiffy 4 Stiffies went right. Wrong. Lower Wackoff went Straight, right
and wrong. Horn-E went left and definetly wrong. But circling the block
and back to this alley and Stiffy 4 Stiffies yells Checking. And one,
two, three, and Horn-E is On. FRB until Stiffiy 4 Stiffies zipped on by
and into the Beer Stop in a local bar. With Air Conditioning. And a hare
with cold pints waiting. Back at the start, the four of us had a long
leisurely circle. On Out
x
Thu. Jun 16, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
SnatchSquatch laid trail from Burming Bush Brewery at 4014 N. Rockwell.
And Horn-E went to 4414 N. Rockwell. WTF. Is he senile. Not yet.
Recovering I ran straight south and arrived after the pack was gone. But
across the bridge and a Check and that damn pack was still stuck on
that Check. The first place I would have looked is the last place they
looked, just as I arrived. So. I'm with the pack and we went under
Irving Park and then west on Irving Park. Back through park and to the
south and the twisting foot bridge over the river. I'm with them but
constantly in catch up mode. We then ran over to a Check at Addison and
Western. This led to the streets just NW of there and I finally find a
short cut and I'm now running right behind Hobo Piss. We ran north to a
park and the Beer stop and came in one, two and Snatchsquatech is
sitting there with three groupies. A short time later the last three
came running on in,Just James, Dryrafoam, and Just James. SnatchSquatch
led circle and all was good. On Out
X
Sat.
Jun 18, 2022. The Bushman Hash,
Horn-E hared from St. Paul Woods. A beautiful day in the upped 60s.
Perfect for trail. The woods were full of lush greenery and virtually
Zero bugs. No skeeters. At the first must water crossing there was a
baby beaver swimming around so I moved trail to the left. I then headed
to Oakton to cross the river on a bridge, but I could have done a
straight river crossing as the waster wasn't deep. Anyhow, trail went
relatively straight north as it followed the river with a few twists.
Hey, it is a hash. Finally the trail heads east along the river and to a
B with an arrow pointing across the river. But there was a Split there
and more trail in waist high lush greenery to the bike path and tracks
and back around the dry way. Hey, the hounds get a choice for once. Over
to the start and only SnatchSquatch sitting there. WTF. On such a
beautiful day. About five minutes later Back Door Bizzle arrives and I
send them off. The only rough part was after the river crossing where I
had a check that stumped them for about ten minutes. And when they
finally got to the B, SnatchSquatch opted for the long way and Back Door
Bizzle hopped right into the river with $20 Butt Slut. And the nasty
old hare was sitting on the edge of the bank with cold beer. Pilsner
Urquell and Dab. European this time. We held a really laid back circle
of random accusations until they had enough beer.
On
the way out, Back Door Bizzle gave me a ride home. Twice. Almost home,
he realized he didn't have his phone. He had put it on his car hood just
before we pulled out. Damn. Race back and it is no where in sight. But
there was a lady there and she called his number. Answered. She was a
local in the area and talking a walk through the Forest Preserve, north
to south. She was at the south end. Zooooom and we're there and he got
his phone back. On Out
XSwing Low and On ONHorn-EThe Tale of the Trail
x
Thu. Jun 9, 2022. The Thirstday Hash, Gay Dancer and North Bangher Alley hared from 621
S. Plymouth Court, the residence of Ice Princess. Unfortunately he was
in his apartment, asleep, and we couldn't get in. WTF. So we took off, 6
hounds and two that came along later. Trail went north and west at
first. Suddenly the trail was straight south and eventually to the mall
on Roosevelt on the bridge. By the time I got here, I was alone with
Coming Right Meow. Trail then went over to Clark and continues straight
south for several blocks. We then worked our way to the east and over to
Michigan before heading straight north. A check at Roosevelt and we
were now just walking and into a field of legs before heading west and
to a park for a beer stop. After here we headed over to the Ice Castle
in the sky, a rehabbed real nice deck about 47 stories up in the air,
for a laid back circle as we were joined by some others. ON Out.
x
Sat. Jun 11, 2022. The Big Dog Hash,
SnatchSquatch hared for five hounds from Independence Park. We took off
to the east and stretched out a bit, regrouping at Irving Park and
Elston at a Check. This was found to the south and I eventually found
another Check at an alley and entered the alley to Check it out. Then
Chicken Stifer ran right by me. Hey, pick another direction. That is how
it works. WTF. So
I ranged instead. Eventually I got on trail and could see various
hounds ahead and going around this park. I went straight and came to
marks coming out of the park and followed them to a Check. Back Door
Bizzel went North, CS went east and indicating he had marks down an
alley. I was waiting for traffic to cross the street and Magnetic Muff
was Check hanging. I found nothing and so I ranged west and eventually
found marks just before the bridge over I 94. So I blew my whistle for
MM and headed west. At the next Check, Avondale NW was to obvious and
this was SnatchSquatech so I headed SE and found two marks. Shit. No
third mark. When I returned the Check was marked NW. So i headed NW on
Avondale and eventually saw Stiffy 4 Stiffies bright orange shirt and
ran straight for Pulaski. There I joined up with MM and BDB and we
worked the trail eventually up to a station and towards Irving Park.
They had skipped a turn and there were no marks on Irving Park. So I
played Frogger and ranged across the street. There were marks and I
yelled to BDB. He and MM ran straight east and eventually found marks
and MM was FRB and ON IN. Meanwhile I found more trail to the north and
some damn hare trail that kept going where I didn't think that sneaky
hare was going. I eventually finished the whole trail and came in DFL.
We circled there in reverse Bushman manner and just hung out for another
hour or so. On Out.
x
Mon Jun 13, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Po Po Pickup Game, J. Spencer and Garmin hared, from Metropolitan
Brewery. I had the best luck ever with three buses that got me to
Belmont and Western with zero waiting. Unfortunately, as I got off the
bus in pouring
rain, the bus drove off and the Tornado warning started. I rushed to a
bus shelter. They aren't really good shelters so I stood in the shelter
under my umbrella. A half hour later, after waiting and watching for a
tornado that never came, I was able to head to the start. No hares and
only two other hounds, Lower Wackoff and Lifa. The hares wanted to
cancel. Hell No. The hash doesn't cancel over a few raindrops and some
howling winds. So they finally showed up and set off on a live really
simple trail. We were joined by J Pat for four hounds. After a head
start we were off and running. Straight east to Western and a Check. J
Pat found trail to the north, but we didn't hear him calling On and
never saw him until the Beer Stop. Horn-E found that same trail,
eventually, and we headed north. And another Check. Horn-E wandered east
and north and eventually found another Check at Roscoe. Again a long
whistle to Lower Wackoff and headed west to an immediate Check and a
three way. WTF. Apparently two checks back, was supposed to go through
this mall to here, then to that other Check on Western. I returned as
Lower Wackoff arrived. Meanwhile Lifa going thorugh the mall so me head
east at the three way Check, He headed north and found a short cut to
trail. Meanwhile I was ranging east and then north when trail was found
by Lower Wackoff to the north. So, from then on, we have no idea were
the other two are, but it is Horn-E leading and Lower Wackoff following
to Addison, over to the street before the river and south through a
strip park to beer. Horn-E's whistle sort of worked, Lower Wackoff could
hear it, but couldn't tell which direction it came from. Hell, it was
loud enough to stop the soccer match, twice. At the beer stop we decided
to circle and eventually named Just Spencer. He shall forever more be
known as Stacys Neice. On Out
X
Swing Low and On ONHorn-E
The Tale of the Trailx
Thu. Jun 2, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
Mommys Coming hared from Temple Stowe for a small pack of seven
hounds. It was a short trail but it soon spread out due to a Check a
block from the start that had the pack going everywhere but the right
direction. It was a good check, but as it was, it spread us out. I found
myself running parallel to the pack heading north on Kedzie and soon
the pack headed west. And I slowly fell behind. Good bye to
SnatchSquatch, Dryrofoam, Stiffy 4 Stiffies, Brother Incisor and Hot
Mess Bench Press. That left me and Just Toki running and walking and way
behind. I was n front and then behind and always seeming to go the
wrong way. But I finally caught up to her just before the foot bridge
north of Lawrence and west of Kimball. From then on we walked and talked
and reacquainted ourselves. And on towards the University, but not
through it. And we slowly worked our way east and then through some park
by the river and north over Lawrence and eventually on in to the Snatch
Garage for a beer stop and circle. This was led by Brother Incisor.
After that we headed back to the bar for some social time. On Out.
x
Mon Jun 6, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
One Fuck Chuck was supposed to hare and I got a late message after my
posting on here. Foster, just west and north on Lake Shore Drive for an A
to B hash. Then I found on the CH3 web site that it would be hared by
Mommys Little Accident and Gay Dancer. Okay. I planned on coming, but a
medical procedure left me unable to run that night. Opps. Shit happens.
Then the next night I heard that One Fuck Chuck and Gay Dancer hared and
Mommys Little Accident was the only hound from Chicago. WTF. I also
heard there were three visitors and two virgins. Will the virgins ever
return. I'm sure everyone will tell them how much fun it is. But then,
if it is so much fun, why are there only three local hashers here? And
the three visitors will go home and say about the same thing. Doesn't
make Chicago look very good. Just relaying the facts as I know them.
Really, if that is so, it is really a sad state of affairs. But I've
been here through a lot of ups and downs in attendance. And this is affecting all of the local hashes. Coming back from
such low attendance is really hard and it takes some dedication from
all interested hashers to help bring things back up. It starts out with a
good hareline that has at least the next three weeks lined up. And the
next two weeks with iron clad locations. Make them work once listed.
Period. Quit switching around. Get it posted in advance so we can make
the hash are first choice and not something we will look at if we can't
find something else to do. Quit setting hashes and not inviting
everyone. Quit setting hash dates on some other hashes dates. We hashes are not
in competition, like hashes aren't about competition. We are supposed to
be about friendly helpful cooperation among hashers and hashes. Let
make it all work together. There are other things we can do, but no one
wants to listen to me, much less cooperate together. On Out
x
Tue. Jun 7, 2022. The 4X2H4 Hash, False
Advertising hared from an old favorite location, J & M Tap. But we
never returned for a few beers inside. Well, it was a small group. Three
old slow farts, Horn-E, Lower Wackoff and Just Do Me Slowly. The hare
told us it would be short, flat and dry like our mothers. Well, there
was only a little wet spot. The three of us took off to the north and
after a Split we followed Just Do Me Slowly to a Back Check. Horn-E
found that and around a building and north to Division. And suddenly a
late comer, Double Meter Beater blew right by me heading east. Well, at
Leavitt he was slowly leaving me behind, but a Split slowed him down. So
we start working our way east and north to a Check at Wicker Park. I
thought the other two saw me so I didn't mark the next two Splits, but
at that Check, they were never in sight and that went for the rest of
the trail. I found that Check and DMB found the next one. Then, are you
ready for this. Horn-E found the next two Checks and we are working the
trail together and trying to mark most things for the followers, LW and
JDMS. But they were busy looking for porta potties. And we ran on.
Finally to North and Western where we headed south and towards the On
In. That is where DMB slowly left me behind and I last saw him on
Division. But he marked Splitss with whatever he could find so we three old
farts could find trail, Sticks, stones, used condoms. Whatever works.
And we finally came in to a parking lot across from the bar and the hare
and a short circle that Lower Wackoff led. On Out
The Tale of the Trail
x
Wed,
May 25, 2022, The Whiskey Wednesday Hash, Magnetic Muff & Stuffin
Muffin hared from Old Plank Bar for 7 hounds. And it rained just before
the start which wiped out a few marks and made many hard to see. But
Magnetic Muff was sweeping. Like that would help. She couldn't remember
her own trail. We started out bad with the pack running right by the
first Check. But that blind old fart managed to see it and we were soon
on past faded marks and to another Check at a T corner. Lifa went Left
and was right and gone. Garmin went right and was wrong and J. Spencer
and Horn-E blindly followed without realizing there was a Check and
where. Ooops. Garmin returned to the Check and followed Lifa and by then
the sweep and the back of the pack, Just Do Me Slowly, Lower Wackoff
and False Advertising had come along and were also gone. Meanwhile J.
Spencer and Horn-E were Checking a block away from where the Check was,
Dumb F*cks. By the time we figured it out, they were all long gone. We
followed and I was finally left behind and never saw anyone again. J.
Spencer caught up and the pack managed to stay together in their utter
confusion on the marks. About ten minutes after Horn-E returned to the
start, the pack returned from the Whiskey Stop and we held a circle in a
parking lot. After I left, I heard that Stuffin Muffin did a header and
came up with one bloody head. Sorry man. Hope all is well. On Out. x
Thu. May 26, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
SnatchSquatch hared from Empirical Brewery with
a live trail. We were soon off and I found myself way behind at the
first Check, 50 yards away. WTF. I never saw anyone again until I got to
the beer stop. Checks happen. Then after a Split that wasn't swept, I
went the wrong way in a two block long loop that brought me almost right
back to the Split. Well, all I could do was enjoy what I could find. We
went on to a park where I found a Check and marked into the park by a
nature reserve, I went through that and found marks on the other side,
missing a two block long loop to the NE corner of the park. From then on
things weren't bad. Just more park, SW corner, and city streets and
more of the same damn park on the NW corner. At this point I figure I
was hopelessly behind and I should generally head to where there might
be a beer stop. And suddenly I see marks into that damn park again, only
this time at the NE corner. What I didn't know was that those were
marks from the beginning of that trail in the park. By the time I
figured that out, yeah, really f*cked up at this point. I ran on to a
parking lot by the tracks and their was the pack. From here it was a
change of location to Big Joes for the ON In. On Out l
x
Fri. May 27, 2022, The First Crack of the Moon Hash, Horn-E
hared from 1637 W. Glenlake. I thought that there might be a larger the
normal pack due to the big hash weekend ahead with visitors. Wrong. I
laid trail thinking 10 to 15 hounds. We had four at the start. And so
they were off and hopefully with Double Meter Beater running, he would
do a lot of the checking. Damn, he got 8 miles plus. They ran loops and
loops and all sorts of shit just getting from my house to Loyola campus
and back. Meat Inside Her and Berts Special Friend showed
up late and i directed them to a short cut and they regrouped. But they
still ran their asses off and J. Spencer finally quit and we had to
text Lower Wackoff to come on in. But we had a nice circle that was
small, but went on and on and a lot of fun. That was aided by bringing
out the old First Crack Hat for the rotating R As to wear. After that we
headed over to Barrel Man were they had a couple of rounds of good
beers. On Out
x
Sat May 28, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Mommys Coming and SnatchSquatch hared from Roosevelt Park. This is way
south of the loop and we ended up north east of the loop. I counted
about 22 hounds at the start, and a few joined us after. And a few
finally quit running and joined the walkers trail after being well into
that marathon trail. We started out with a Check at Roosevelt and State.
Now I might be slow but I still try and while a lot of hounds stood
around I headed up hill and across the street they found trail. So I was
near the front and we headed into a mall area just west of Clark. Now I
know there is only one way out unless you loop right back to the
entrance. They didn't. So I headed to the stairs in back, and was first
down the stairs, and knowing that to the south was a dead end, I
searched for the Check to the west and north and over to the river. That
is when the pack found trail to the east and from here on I was alone.
Yes again. If you have the guts to check things out, you win or lose. I
won at the first check and lost this one. Trail ran on over to the river
and along there and then worked our way through the loop. I ended up by
default on a Turkey trail and kept running on through the center of the
loop. At one point I couldn't get through the mob of people in front of
a theater. So I yelled out, "I've been running and I'm sweaty and I'm
going to rub myself all over you people unless you make a path." You
should have seen those old biddies move aside with expressions of horror
and this old gnome pushed on through. At Wabash, trail went south and
finally to a garage where we were told to take the elevator to the top.
Another mob waiting in line. Screw this. Only beer at the top and I
can't drink so I'm off looking for trail. I did hear that three hounds
walked up thinking it would only be about 5 floors. Eleven suckers. I
found trail to the Art Institute where there was a picture Check and a
bucket drum band and mobs of people. What the hell do they think this
is, a holiday or something? Thousands. And that was just the first
block. Anyway I follow the arrow to the south and towards the Bean.
Unfortunately that arrow pointed to the photo check that people were
standing on. About ten minutes later I finally returned and found the
true trail to the south. So I'm off and a Check by the twin Indians. I
search towards Buckingham Fountain and find trail into the Fountain area
and somehow ran between two arrows without seeing a damn thing. So I'm
now wandering south along Columbus and then heading west when I run into
Lifa. So we return to the fountain area and this time I find those
arrows and we are off in a loop around the fountain and then north along
Columbus and ups and downs land. Up to Randolph. west to Michigan.
north, west, lower lever, garbage dumps. down to river walk east to
Columbus, up 101 steps. a block later down 81 steps and then right back
up 76 steps, a loop CCW and into a park and back up about 65 steps and
then down again and back underground to a spot under Randolph east end
and the final beer stop. Is that about right SnatchSquatch? Can I have a
note, "F*ck you for being the hare, etc" Again, some people got 8
miles. From here we went to a grassy area on a hill and chased away the
local wild life for a short circle and then it was On Out
X
Sun May 29, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Mommys Little Accident and Gay Dancer hared from La Bagh Woods. I heard
a good woods trail, but the same familiar stuff. A beer stop at Roofie
Ragu's and back to the shelter for circle. The Dark Kunt ran a good
circle and I'm sure they ate well and drank well. On Out.
x
Mon May 30, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Lifa, The Cock Whisperer and Rusty Grundel hared from 1872 N. Clybourn.
Actually a Lifa Trail. I saw some marks on the way there and guessed
correctly and at a Check on Armitage the pack caught me and the leaders
passed me. Okay. I'm trying to stay in sight and not last as we head
down Cortland and over the bridge. I lost sight of the runners ahead and
missed a turn and went to the end of a factory zone. Nothing at the
exit on Ashland. Heading north to Webster. Nothing. Returned looking for
some marks somewhere coming out to Ashland, and found a Check. Across
Ashland and into the Metra Station. Here's a short cut. Only one way
out. Now heading south across Cortland and a Split by 606. So he is
taking the visitors up onto 606. I'll short cut and head south to North.
And there was a unmarked Check. In front? Behind? Both. Yeah, that was
it. So I find trail East on North and after a screw up at a Split, (Well
laid Lifa. Damn hare. ). I'm back on trail and a BN Check. This leads
to the usual beer stop South of North on the walking bridge. And I
wasn't last. We then head to the Rusty Grundel, Cock Whisperer, Castle
in the Sky, roof deck, for circle. And it is full of hashers who don't
run anymore or hardly ever, taking up all of the nice seats, from those
that are dog tired from running trail. Back Door Bizzle got a circle
going. Damn good one. Only missing thing was he didn't recognize the
Veterans on Memorial Day. Even though one old fart is half dead already.
On Out.
xSwing Low and On ONHorn-Ex
The Tale of the Trail
x
Thu. May 19, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
Garmin hared from Senn Park by Old young Abe at Ridge and Clark. We had
five hounds, all guys again. Hey, Harriets, it is warming up. You can
come out of hibernation. This was supposed to be a re. What a mob. Well it was a cool night and I'msure a lot of that pack were friends of the hares. On Outpeat
of a failed hash last winter, This meant Horn-E might be able to keep
up since he was at that hash. And he did. Trail headed east past Senn H.
S, and False Advertising was racing to the front. But he came from that
direction and probably saw some marks along the way. At the first Check
the trail went south a block and then into a series of alleys. J. James
took the lead here. At Broadway there was a Check and just as I got
there I heard an On On call from False Advertising in an alley across
the street, Yep, right like last time. I blew my whistle and we were
right after him and finally came to a Check at Ridge and Braodway.
SnatchSquatech and False Advertising were right On heading north on
Ridge and then into alleys and neighborhood streets. I followed and as I
came out of the alley I was passed by Second Coming and Just James. I
followed them to a Split at an alley and headed west. I knew were the
last trail went. but this one didn't. WTF. So I followed the old course
and came to a Check at the Military Memorial. Where was the pack? Behind
me. As I was checking, in the wrong direction they passed me in the
right direction. From here on
it was following them in neighborhood streets and alleys until we
returned to the start. We held a short circle there and then just hung
out for about a half hour before dispersing. On Out
x
Sat May 21, 2022, The Bushman Hash.
Horn-E hared from Lechowicz Woods. GD rain. Just before I got there it
started to rain. So I sat in this shelter waiting for a pause. It never
came, but 80 people came to claim that shelter for a birthday party. So I
headed over to the foot bridge for a start and we could wait under the
bridge. So now I have a direction. North over the river and into the
woods for some nice woods running. I wanted to CW through woods and past
that previous shelter just before the finish, But at the first Check, I
paused. It is raining. They won't be playing golf. A great time to run
the Golf Course in the summer. So It was a CCW direction as I looped
into the Golf course and a lot of good woods running areas. And the rain
kept coming and there was actually one lone golfer out there. WTF. But
I'm committed. At one point I left a tee and headed into some deep
woods. This is where I almost joined Gispert, hashing around the clouds
for eternity. I past this huge downed tree to the left and squeezed past
a tight area and headed for a slight hill fifty feet later. Then I
heard a loud Crack and looked back as a forty foot healthy tree fell
right were I just passed in that tight area. A minute or so after I
passed. And when I swept the trail later, that tree was right were I
was. I might have even marked trail on it. There would have been no
where to rum fast enough. Looked like a healthy tree, full of leaves, no
wind. I'm guessing it was just waterlogged with all of the recent rain
and fell over its own weight. So, what do you do. Finish trail. And as
I'm finishing, still raining there are golfers suddenly everywhere. WTF.
So I finally cross that starting foot Bridge and there is the pack,
just starting out, False Advertising, Lower Wackoff and Back Door
Bizzle. And the GD rain just stopped. So I ditched my gear and followed
the pack. Nice trail and woods hashing and everyone managed some time in
front. Several Checks along the way and we all stayed together and
finished together. Back under that foot bridge we held circle for
several rounds of Bushman style and finally False Advertising started
Swing Low and we were soon out of there. Great day in the woods and God,
I'm not ready to die yet. On Out
x
Mon May 23, 2022, The Chicago Hash. Florida Man, Poo La La and Homeless Granny Fucker were haring from Jonquil Park Park for 20 hounds. What a mob. Well it was a cool night and I'm sure a lot of that pack were friends of the hares.
I counted 20 hounds. Didn't get all of their names but two visitors and
three virgins were included. That was the good news. Now for the bad
news. They laid the trail in blue chalk. In the dark, and even on
asphalt. These younger guys that led the pack, might be able to see
those marks, but this old fart with failing eye sight was doomed to
failure. Started out fairly well as I was about 4th after the first
Check. But the pack passed me and at the First Check I was east of the
Check watching False Advertising heading east. Trail went west. From
there, except for those blue marks, actually looked like it was twisting
back and forth okay. I'm now in back with a virgin, (who left a virgin
in back with Horn-E) But she was okay and surrounded by a visitor Mudd
Wyfe and Coming Right Meow. So Lower Wackoff and I slipped past them and
ran on. Pack is now out of sight, two old farts trying to run and three
Harrietts walking. Then Horn-E runs Past a turn arrow, damn fading blue
chalk, and a long block later, no marks. So he and lower Wackoff return
and find trail. Damn, a half block later was an arrow going west into
an alley, a half block off of where I just ran. Damn. Well, I was now
falling behind Lower Wackoff and at Southport and School the trail
headed east. As far as I know it kept going east to Michigan City. I
found a few marks and once had to back track a block to verify I didn't
miss a turn, Nope, straight east. Finally I saw a bright white arrow.
Looking closer there was a faded Check there and the arrow pointing
straight east. Yeah, again. I never saw another mark. Three blocks later
I decided this was useless. Even my flashlight didn't help. So at
Sheffield, I just started walking on in a mile away. Got there about 5
minutes before the pack. And within minutes they started the circle with
four hounds still out there. Hey, weather is nicer and we might want to
wait a little longer before starting circle. Those slower runners are
also part of the pack. Those four I was with earlier. They barely got in
before the circle ended. And Berts Special Friend was leading the
circle. Then within minutes the pack started to dissipate until there
was little more the the usual suspects who weren't afraid of the dark.
Did manage to meet one of the virgins, Just Anthony, He already wants to
write songs. He better learn some first. Also met Mudd Wyfe before she
was lyfted off. On Out
x