Hash break.Sat. Apr 20, 2024, The Bushman Hash. Horn-E laid a shitty trail from Forest Glen Forest Preserve for the Anal Flower Run for 7 hounds. And the Flowers looked real good last Sat. That was last Sat. But the flowers in Forest Glen were virtually non existent. They peaked a few weeks earlier. Damn. They always peak together. But now the flowers were more to the west. Maybe. So I took off laying trail and eventually started finding them in Lechowicz Woods and over in Edgebrook Woods. So, not a total failure, Remember, Mother Nature rules. So the pack was off and running and over the tracks instead of the bridge to Lechowicz Woods. Here they ran right through sections of yellow flowers and off path. The FRBs got to the Check along the river where I had a mark on a log going over the river. And you could see two other marks on the other side of the river. They didn't all get the message. And add in the fact that last weeks trail came right through here. Although it rained, the marks under the bridge and on trees on the other side didn't get washed away. And Zone 2 fell for that. But Back Door Bizzle was there to rescue her. He was there last week. So they were way behind, but back on trail. The rest had moved on and were wandering through fields of yellow flowers and around blue flowers and other fresh growth to help make for pretty scenes. As trail got to the end of Edgebrook Woods and at the tracks, there was a Split. Chicken Stifer went up and over the tracks and found nothing. So he ranged along the tracks while the pack was down along the river on sort of an island going trough more flowers. That trail came out near the trestle and an arrow pointing across the river. Yeah, like anyone would do that. Over the bridge and into some nice woods, but the flowers were almost non existent here. And near the bike hills there was a short turn into the last flowers I could find for our Beer Stop. And Chicken Stifer, with his short cut along the tracks actually got there just before I arrived with the beer. A good five or ten minutes later Magnetic Muff and Stuffin Muffin came on in. Thanks to tech knowledge. Damn cell phones. "Help me I'm lost" Making Stuffin Muffin the other hero of the day. And finally we had False Advertising and Lower Wackoff, Nice short circle and then we were on. Windy, cloudy and temps falling and we old farts were getting cold. On Out.
Hash Break Sun. Apr 21, 2024. The Chicago Hash. Bottom Wrangler hared an A to B trail from Wills North Woods Inn. We actually had 13 hounds at the start. And over twice that many at the finish . Well, at least 15 house puppies as in hashers that didn't run that day and a whole lot of those that don't anymore. They were there for Shit T Situations birthday and not hashing. So that was them. On trail, our hounds were about half runners and half walkers that acted like lemmings at every check. You know, hey, someone is running that way. Lets follow. Ooops, he/she never found a 3rd mark. Lets walk back and start over. Even our virgin J. Diane, got caught up in the walk along crowd. All right, we can excuse SnatchSquatch and Menage A Twat, walking wounded, because he was and she had hip replacements and is doing all she can. Well done. And what happened to False Advertising. Well, he did say he wasn't going to do the whole trail and only got to the shot stop. Other walkers included Ultimate Disco erty, A visitor from Delaware, Toxic Waste, Third Personality Disorder and Lost her Penis. So, for those that ran and tried to run, that's you Horn-E, here is the Tale of the Trail. Bottom Wrangler tried to again introduce all of these Boston H3 trail games. Mixed results. And the trail was nice but a real long A to B making it hard for those that drove to the start, to go back for their cars. Like one of our visitors, Occupied from Hawaii. We had a Group Hug Check within two blocks. By the time I got there they were already wandering in different directions without finding marks. But I noticed Cumming Right Meow coming back from the east. Suddenly she was gone. WTF. I headed that way with Occupied right behind me. She found a mark into this alley, and we were gone. I mentioned lemmings. They were off wandering and we had no one to shout On On too. And a long way to still find the 3rd arrow. So we ran on to the 2nd Check and Cumming Right Meow was returning from a 2nd False. The pack was finally arriving behind us. So I checked east and was On. Again, the lemmings wander out of sight and we yelled again and again. So Occupied and Horn-E ran on. South of Diversey and towards Lincoln and another Check. Occupied headed south but we were wrong. On returning False Advertising was getting to he Check. Horn-E found a mark in an alley and that old fart found another Trail, WTF. But we ran on and headed south and into a park for the shot stop. When the pack finally arrived, we were out to the south and in an alley paralleling Sheffield. Two blocks later we were at another Check. And the lemmings were again all following without a 3rd arrow or a call On On. And when we returned I searched the obvious parking lot, only to quit when they again followed someone down the street that didn't call On. Finally we returned and I went the only way not checked, the parking lot and found a true arrow exiting the parking lot. Me, Horn-E, now solved three straight checks. And off I went straight east on Fullerton. Until I got to the end near Lincoln and found a mark CB4. Hmmm. Something that wasn't mentioned at chalk talk. So now I'm at the end of the pack and as slow as I am, it took a while to start catching up and passing some of the walkers and ON into the Beer Stop at Oz Park. From here it was a few more Checks and the real FRBs of the day, Bit On The Clit In Texas and Cul Du Sac Tap finally took over and solved trail and led us into the B, at the Sedgwick Stop. Only about 2 miles from the start. We talked Third Personality Disorder into acting as RA and she did a fairly decent job on her first attempt. And of course the bar and beer garden were full of non hashing hashers and ex hashers. The sun was out and all was good. Now for that long walk back to cars. On Out.
Hash break
Mon. Apr 22, 2024, The Chicago Full Moon Hash. Lower Wackoff hared out of Athletic Field Park. We had a pack of five for Lower Wackoff's madness. And the trail lived up to it. After a long Check in the shopping mall parking lot Horn-E finally found the trail going west with Berts Special Friend right there. He took the lead heading west and under the tracks. Now trail headed in a zig zag fashion to Milwaukee and Belmont. Never went anywhere near there from that starting point. Interesting. And we were all together at the Check. And everything was False. Finally myself and Meat Inside Her headed NW on Milwaukee and she was On. Until she wasn't after a Split. I found that and was soon passed by everyone. We got to Addison and Pulaski and headed east for a block and then further north. Falling behind Magnetic Muff and Stuffin Muffin, and being a smart ass, I decided to shortcut to Avondale for the run on in to the east and the finish. Only the trail didn't go that way. Meanwhile the rest of the pack headed west on Avondale and were out of sight. Damn. So they sort of followed Avondale NW to Irving Park with a few climbs up massive steps to train platforms. On trail and off. Then the circled back east On Irving Park and ran circles around Independence Park and on to a little hidden area along the Expy for a beer stop. Meanwhile I walked the trail backwards to the beer stop and they weren't there. I'm thinking, "How could I have missed them." So back to the start/finish and they aren't there. So back again to the beer stop and they were just finishing up. Lesson learned. Don't try to outguess the hare. We held a Moon style circle and finally headed on out and I caught the last east bound bus out of there. On Out
Hash Break