he Tale of the Trail:

Wanky Wonky set this Thristday hash on 31 May 2019 as his farewell hash from Chicago, with a starting location of Irish Eyes and finishing at the roof top of Its Too Soft. We had 13 hounds for this debacle. We headed into the alley and I was soon alone again. Trail came out for a block and back into an alley again. I finally got behind Loin Dick 2 and Sandy Syphilis and tried to keep up, but I was soon alone again and heading north. A slight loop into an alley and back on Clark and the trail went straight north for a mile. Yes. There was a Check were I caught some of the pack and a few blocks later was the Turkey Eagle slit. I heard that four hounds did that and missed some marks and no checks and they ran all over hell before coming into the beer stop DFL. Meanwhile I kept on the Turkey trail and somehow I Eat Dick passed me. What was she doing behind me. I ran on and eventually the trail headed west towards Clark and another Check. It was marked and I headed into an alley and suddenly I Eat Dick passes me again and several others. How did I ever get ahead of them. A short distance later and we were at beer in a kiddie park. From there it was On to Its Too Soft's roof deck for left over beer and food from the Memorial Day Weekend Hash.

Then on Sat, 1 Jun 2019, I Kneed Ice Cream and Coma Toast set a First Crack of the Moon Hash from Standard Bar on Milwaukee. We had a small turnout of 5 hounds, myself, J Zach, King Of Bedbugs, Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd on trail and two late comers, Meat Inside Her and Berts Special Friend showed up late and caught us on trail for six hounds. It rained right before the hash so Coma Toast ran ahead and relayed it, and I Kneed Ice Cream swept. Great job there. The trail had few turns and a lot of long straights with an occasional Split. So, eventually we got strung out. Trail went pretty much Straight north to 606 trail. Then it was east to the end. A few quick turns and we were at Cortland and Elston for a Check. From there it was straight east until Kingsbury, and a Split off of a Check. From here it was pretty much straight south, on the tracks, across the rail road bridge and into Goose Island. We finally got to a Beer Stop about a block south of Division. After the beer stop there was no more sweep and the pack took off, fast. I ran on to Chicago, west to Milwaukee, east on Augusta and finally into the back yard of the hare, Coma Toast. After a quick circle most of us headed over to a packed bar and had another beer or two. 

Mon 3 Jun 2019 was the regular Chicago Hash set by Lifa from Parrots with 15 hounds on trail. Six of us actually had hash names and three of those haven't been around for a while, Mudsucker and a former Chicago Area Hasher visiting in town, Flying Hooters now from Houston and I'm Fuckin' Nuts. And one of those named hashers had to leave early with Visions of Pearls dancing around in his head. That left nine Justs. Makes for a good, well informed circle. Thanks to the hare's coming up with songs. But I digress. Three hounds, Mudsucker, I'm F*cking Nuts and her daughter,  J. Stacy did a turkey trail. The highlight was when they walked past a Back Check and had to walk back to the Back Check so they could walk back on the Back check and finally solve it. Meanwhile Horn-E was falling behind the pack until he was alone again. But as he ran on, he found many turns, now marked straight. Hmmm. Lifa's Back Checks. He finally saw some ahead at a Check that gave them troubles at Lincoln and allowed that old fart to catch up. Almost. They were soon gone again. As he ran on he crossed a street and saw Khal Drunko The Turd at the next alley. The trail actually went left. But a short cut is a short cut. He was waving and yelling for the pack, but apparently they were at a Check at the head of the alley and they all went off on a long False. So the two ran on. Finally at a Check it was Horn-Ewho got lucky and waved on Khal Drunko the Turd. In the next alley was a hi jack set by Skull N Boner out of her back door. Horn-E ran on while the pack very slowly gathered. Meanwhile another quick Back Check and a Check again on Lincoln and that was all for Horn-E. He went East. The trail went south east. After a block he ranged north and never saw another mark as he ran On and On, but Off and Off until he was about four blocks north of Belmont. Damn old fool. The rest of the pack drank a beer and ran on getting caught on more Back Checks and Checks until somehow Horn-E and the pack merged at the beer stop under the El tracks. Back at the bar there was a short circle and some stayed on and on into the hight. The virgins were J. Justin, J Eric, and Just Mo. Welcome to hashing.


On On
Horn-E


The Tale of the Trail:

Berts Special Friend hared from PhD for 14 hounds for the Chicago Hash on Mon May 20, 2019. And this was one fast pack. We headed south and I was at least a block behind when the pack disappeared under the tracks and from a Check. Yeah, that far back. But I ran on and was finding trail reasonably well with marked Splits and Checks. I finally hit a Split that I thought would take the pack over the river, so I went the other way, directly north, and tried to cut them off. They went south and didn't cut over the river. So, I'm off heading to Roosevelt and then west. Two blocks past Halsted I headed south and somehow didn't see the pack already at the beer stop as I tried to loop the area. Finally giving up I headed back to the bar and suddenly heard an On call. But where? I headed on, but was soon run down by Furry Spice who came running after me. So, I made it to beer the hard way. Damn. Back at the bar we held circle out in the beer garden and all was good.

The next night, Tue May 21, 2019, was a Chicago Full Moon Hash from the J & M Tap set by False Advertising for 10 hounds. Damn, I fell behind again and real soon. The last one I saw was Its Too Soft. I ran down this alley and ready to go into the next alley, a very narrow one, when this large van pulled in a head of me. And going slow. Somehow, trying to get around him I missed a turn into a gangway to the left. Damn van. Finally got around him and there were no marks at the end of the alley. Damn van. So I circled the block to the right looking for some marks that might have come out of a gangway. Nothing. Back through the alley. Again nothing. Damn van. So I headed to the left to go around the block and there was a mark. Damn van. So I'm off and running but hopelessly behind. Yeah, again. Ran as far as Ashland and headed north. At Chicago I headed west and eventually worked my way towards Damen and Augusta and ran into I Kneed Ice Cream working a Check. So I ended up generally following him on into the beer stop where we held a short circle in the empty lot across the street from the bar. Then we returned to the bar to finish off the Hash Cash. Did anyone find a flashlight in the bar. About six inches long, black and thin. Damn. Missing since then and I brought it all the way back from China Town in Kuala Lumpur.

The next night, Wed May 22, 2019, there was a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Hooch B4 Cooch from Burton Place. About six hounds or so I heard. But this time it was the CTA again, Two buses in a row didn't show up and so I just went home. To damn late to ever catch the pack.

The next night, this is getting repetitious, Thu May 23, 2019, SnatchSquatch set trail for The Thirstday Hash from Driftwood for 14 hounds. This was an A to B trail and the hare mentioned needing a flashlight for the finish. Duh. Could this be the bird sanctuary area on Montrose Harbor. We ran on and this was another fast pack. I soon lost then as they crossed Sheridan. But I ran on thinking that the hare might take the pack towards that watchtower at the golf course and then along the lake. Nice guess, but wrong. As I short cut through this school area I saw Loin Dick 2 running ahead. I followed a bit. Then at a Split I headed over towards the park and thinking that tunnel under the Outer Drive. Wrong again and now I'm completely off trail. So I head north looking for marks and about a block north of Montrose I see a Split, Just as I head out on one direction Just Jenna and Just Elise run up and head in the other direction. Well, it eventually heads over to the road under the bridge and I find myself paralleling them and some other hounds that are now catching up. They end up in a parking lot while I'm near Cricket Hill. Soon the pack is coming trough this bicycle tunnel and running towards me. Another tunnel and now the pack to heading towards the sanctuary. But they don't know it yet. So I'm short cuttng a little and keeping up as they run around the sanctuary an into the woods, right where I am and another hundred feet and we were at B. I'm the front running bastard, Unfortunately I followed five Harrietts into the beer. The pack soon gathered and we held circle there. Then it was off to an On In at the Montrose Yacht Club sitting around outside, looking over the harbor and a beautiful night.

Saturday May 25, 2019 was the opening of the Memorial Day Weekend Chicago Hash event. SnatchSquatch was haring from Double Bubble and we had a nice big crowd. This trail went into a quick loop to the south and then over towards the lake front and Loyola campus. I missed it, but there was a T and E Split and I was following some Harrietts into the campus and right back out. We then followed trail about a block north of Devon and into a beer stop in a kiddie park, a hundred yards from  the police station. Hmmm. The Eagles finally joined us. But this was only BS 1. The other one was yet to be found. We took off to the southwest and a quick Check at a corner on Clark. I Eat Dick took off to the west. I headed south and at Devon I found a Split. But no one was following or even looking as I waved and yelled. So I ran west and there were soon two more marks and then a Split. I go south and I'm On and about the end of the block I finally see the leaders of the rest of the pack coming. A block and a half later I was passed by Silent But Deadly.  With some good guessing I managed to stay near the front of the pack as we headed south along Ridge and then east along ridge and a final Check. A block later we crossed Clark and into a litttle park and there was beer. Back at the bar we gathered in the beer garden for a good circle and The Dark Kunt came out and gave us a Flash Back as R. A.

Sunday 26 May, 2019 was the big Hash of the weekend, in Edgebrook Woods set by Dr. Cockvorkian and Furry Spice with another large pack. We got a late start but there was a long day ahead. We headed east towards the tracks and then a big loop towards the south and near the river before heading up to the bicycle Bridge over the river. I was running good and my adrenalin was up to be running in the woods. But I was still falling back. The pack made it over to a Check at the tracks and the river. Then just as I was getting there the trail was found in the woods but heading south paralleling the tracks. Here disaster hit me. As I leaped up to a log over the path with my left foot, my right toe caught a branch and I couldn't bring my right foot up and down I went. Almost a face plant but sprained my thumb and banger my right leg about six inches below the knee. More later. Eventually the pack ran to the bicycle bridge and over the tracks. I knew it had to go there and ran below the bridge and over the tracks. But I'm still falling behind. Yes again. We ran along a path along the river. Somewhere I missed the turn to the shot stop, probably at Forest Glen and I kept running along the river and to Forest Glen Drive. There I saw the pack heading east towards city streets and to the east. So I kept going along the river's edge towards the east. Found a Split just before the bridge at I 90. False Advertising was there and checking out the wrong way. I headed under the bridge and to another Split.  We're On. I found that Split also and kept running and calling on and False Advertising was seen following me. On along the river and really loving running in the woods. Finally made it to the abandoned railroad trestle and the loop back on the other side of the river. Kept running west now and finally trail veered into woods and out to a street and a BN Check. I knew Roofie Ragu lived near here, but not sure exactly where, I went straight and wasn't On. Headed a block west and here comes Roofie Ragu leading a strung out pack and I just followed them into his back yard where we were met with a pack of walkers drinking beer. Here I was able to look at that banged up leg. It looked like someone took a large lemon, cut it in half and taped it to my leg. I little blood that was soon washed off and taped up. And I got a few ice packs for my banged up left thumb. Then we headed into the last part of the trail. Furry Spice indicated to me that the trail headed into some more woods and near the river. So I went that way and there were no marks, but some nice running. I finally saw the pack heading down a street next to the woods. I followed and missed a turn. So I headed into the woods and up to a fence without seeing any marks. Probably missed a green mark in the woods. Anyhow, I ended up running along the golf course and the river, up to the tracks and along the tracks on in. There Feather had good grub coming off the grill and everyone was eating or struggling on in. While eating I noticed the Dark Kunt had her tights torn from the crotch to her knees and she was changing right there. I warned her that she would get a down down for that. Looked like she was attacked in the woods. She smiled and was all for it and ready for it when I called her out. As was her husband, Tell It To My Nipples. Circle went on for a long time. Finally it ended and we finished the keg with the leaky seals and settled into cases of more beer.

On Monday there was a hangover trail being set from the home of Its Too Soft by him and Silent But Deadly at noon. I got an email from Lifa that it was pushed back to 1:00pm. He sent another later that said it would now be on out at 1:00pm. But I was already on my way. Supposedly this was to dodge the rain and thunderstorms in the area. Well, I got there at 1:30, which should have been the start time. They were gone for about 20 minutes already. Damn. Went up to the roof deck and they were tying down two canopies in preparation of the upcoming rains. Without being able to actually run a hash, I just didn't feel like standing on a cold windy roof, dodging rain for another chance to get drunk. Need a dry out day more. So I took off and the rain started before I got a block away. The pack had to get soaked. Hope they had fun.

On On
Horn-E


The Tale of the Trail:

The Thirstday Hash had a run on 16 May, 2019, set by The Cock Whisperer for 12 hounds from the Damen Tavern. We headed out with Horn-E leading the pack. Yeah, like that would last long. They finally surged past Horn-E and he was back were that old fart belongs. And about 6 blocks later he lost all sight of the pack. But running on, A Whole Lotta Cum was spotted up ahead and he joined her on trail as they both kept dropping further back. So the two slugs pushed on, hoping for that T and E trail. East and west and slowly heading south. Finally we hit that T and E Split. And the Turkey trail went through a gate. Wouldn't you know that the gate was locked. So they followed the Eagle trail and soon, well not so soon, managed to do the whole trail. Finish was along railroad tracks and down a dirt road into deep weeds. When the pack arrived, and were having a quick beer, the transit cops arrived. Ooops. Bust them all. But TampOn TampOff went over to them and told them we were just a small running club and we liked to finish our runs and have a few beers to cool down. Hey, great. Just don't go up on the tracks. Wouldn't it be nice of more cops weren't like that. So Rusty Grundel started circle and all was good. Well, until we ran out of beer. But all was still good.

Then On Sat, 18 May, 2019, Horn-E headed out to Lechowicz woods to lay a Bushman Hash. Beautiful day and almost to warm. Most off woods parts were dry and some wooded paths were low water or nice slippery muck. But mostly good running. Then it was  over to the start and see who would show. Slit Digger, False Advertising and Sir Poops A Lot. Suddenly the rain started to show up. Hey, that was supposed to arrive in an hour. They took off down the hill and at the second mark they went straight, It was supposed to be a right turn. That is my story and I'm sticking to it. But right away, Sir Poops A Lot took another look at the rain coming in and he returned to his car and took off. He missed a great trail. The other two headed past a shelter, were they weren't supposed to be going and picked up on the On In trail and within another hundred yards they were at the beer stop. But Horn-E wasn't there. He was racing off to buy beer. The rains now really started with a down pour and they ran back to the shelter. And no freaking beer. Meanwhile Horn-E ran on and got as far as the foot bridge over the tracks and hid underneath waiting out the rain. He also ran into Lower Wackoff, peddling his ass around the forest preserve. So there we were under the bridge. Lower Wackoff finally used his cell phone to call False Advertising and told him were we were. We soon regrouped as the rain was slowing down. But the trail was completely f*cked. A decision was made and we headed over to Corib for a few Guinness and got the first round free. Not bad. I then got a ride to my bus and was home by 4:15. That never happens that early. Shit happens.
The Tale of the Trail:

On Thu. 9 May Just Will and Bloody Brown Castle teamed up to set an incredibly shitty TH3 trail from Atlantic Bar and Grill. for eleven hounds. Trail headed north past Foster and then east to a check at Western. Somebody called on to the north, but it wasn't. We eventually found trail to the east and I followed the pack and the hare sweep. At another Check, I arived late and headed east. Just one mark and I looked back and the pack was gone, to the north and east. I ran on to Damen and no one in sight. Along came the hare and indicated that the trail was on the other side of the street. It was Just ne and Its Too soft and a Split, He picked east and was On. We teamed up two blocks later and again, he picked first and I was wrong. I looked back and the pack was gaining on us and following Its Too sosoft. I paralleled that path and eventually I was joined by Khal Drunko the Turd. Another few blocks and trail came up to us and a Check. Again I get second pick and was wrong. I tran on to Ashland and then tried to circle around to where the trail had to go. I never saw another mark as I ranged and ranged, heading west, through the parkand on to known possible beer stops. Along the way I ran into Just Jenna and Just Ellie and Hooch B4 cooch. Also lost. they went one way and I another and eventually had to give up. Returning to the bar, some of the pack caught up with me on Lincoln, returning from the beer stop I never found.  We had several visitors and Justs on this run. Just Doesn't Get It, Do Her Well, Just Ellie, Just Jenna and Just Emmitt, but we decided to anme Just Will. He shall for ever be know as Gay Lick Porn Culture. Something to do with Irish Dancing and porn videos.

Then on Sat, 11 May 2019, we had a Big Dog Hash set by Lifa, in Caldwell Woods for maybe the last time. They just posted a no alcohol rule for that section unless you have a picnic permit. Now, where the no alcohol limits are is another question. Just the shelter, the grass lands, including the woods, up to the river. Who knows. but anytime you see the tree police, be prepared. They have been known to set the rules as they go. One local came up to us and told us he got a ticket at 10:00AM and the sign didn't go up until 5:00PM. Just like the police that 'serve and protect'. I will admit that there were times we ran into some serious drunks there. Mostly harmless. But one time we were at the shelter and there was a young lady being harassed by some drunk for being Latino, not American, and she should go back where she came from. But she was Puerto Rican, hence American as he was, and born in America, and had a permit for the grove. Along came one of the Forest Preserve's 'finest' to serve justice. And he did nothing to protect her and preserve her rights to exclusive use of that shelter. I'm not sure what caused it, but his uniform got excessively yellow while standing there and protecting his own rights to piss in his pants and protect his own ass. And now we can't drink there. I digress. 

At the start, there was just the hare, Slit Digger and Horn-E. The news paper said no rain. The Internet said no rain until 4:00pm. It was raining very slightly and mostly through the run was just very light rain and flooded woods. We soon headed off to the far section of the field for our first mark. A short bit of woods and a huge puddle to jump over and through and then a Check at a parking lot. Two marks to the left. One straight ahead. And finally Horn-E found marks behind the pool as Slit Digger ran around the pool to the other side. We're on and over the river and into some real good woods running. We took turns leading through Checks and shiggy and over logs and jumping a little stream. Probably about now is when Its Too Soft arrived and also Meat Inside Her and Berts Special Friend, but not together. Its Too Soft headed off and got to the first Check and never found the trail behind the swimming pool. He eventually went back to the start and went with Lifa to the beer stop. Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her had there own false start, returning to their car for something, and then getting a short cut over the Caldwell bridge to trail. They never caught us. Eventually they were forced to surrender to the elements and call it, in a text to Lifa. More on that later. So it is just the two of us running the whole trail. It came out on Caldwell for some pavement pounding with a quick Split. If I went a little further to the north I might have found the On Back trail. But I took off after Slit Digger and caught him at a Check. We wandered north until a Split. I found that and after a quick turn, we were possibly heading to this tunnel under the trail tracks. But suddenly there were no marks. What apparently happened was a parked car over a mid block turn mark to the other side of the street. We finally found it and were on again. I think this is where the other two lost it. I think they went under the tracks and such and finally had to give up. Meanwhile Slit Digger finds trail back into the woods for some nice wet, muddy running to a Check and eventually through the ravines and back out on the bike path. this brought us to a Check in grasslands and picnic groves. Slit Digger headed left along the path and I found trail through the parking lot and to the beer stop in a shelter. 

Lifa finally went looking for them and no luck, but they sent a text that they gave up and were heading back. But instead on going clockwise around the Forest Preserve, they went the other way and added another couple of miles on streets. Meanwhile we were standing in this building having a few beers. We eventually had to hide our beers from the tree police who also came into that building. When we were finally all gathered, it was about five quick down downs and everyone split for the day. I was hungry and thank got for Super Dog to accompany me back through the woods to my bus. Then I had to wait as the driver was behind the dumpster with his prayer rug. Another first for me. What a day.

Mon 13 May 2019, was CH3's turn. Dr. Cockvorkian joined Gay Dancer and set a very fast trail for 16 hounds. Our biggest hash of the year so far.  Nice weather. We were running out of Redmonds. Gay Dancer was sweeping and as I fell behind (as usual) I was able to follow along thanks to his sweep marks. Eventually we came to the six corner intersection of Ashland/Belmont/Lincoln. When I got there the hare told me it was south on Ashland but a bunch were chasing False trails to the north. So I ran on and had little trouble. Eventually TampOn TampOff was catching up to me just as we hit a Triple Split. Picking first, I got lucky to the south. After two blocks I saw a pack gaining on me and I hit a Check. I again got lucky and picked the west. Eventually I found that third arrow and yelled for the pack but there was no one in sight. Someone was ahead of me and at a Split, someone marked both directions. I went wrong but at Damen the pack was catching up to me and we headed into the park for a Beer Stop at the far end. I needed to keep running and the hare pointed the way, north. I got lucky, sort of, as I ran on. A check and I was wrong, but looking around the corner I found trail. Split that led to a Back Check and I went the right way but not far enough. Damn. So I got nailed two ways on that. the next Check and I was again wrong, but around the corner and there was trail again. Next Triple Split and I guess right and went far enough this time. Then a Check and I was right immediately. This is where Stiffy 4 Stiffies caught and past me. Next Split and he was wrong and we regrouped at Ashland and a Check that Silent But Deadly had already marked. But Stiffy 4 Stiffies went on the wrong side of the street and I was in front again. Three blocks later he caught me and I followed him to the the beer stop in an alley under the El tracks. A short time later the pack all came on in. Back at the bar we had $5 large pitchers and a few rounds of shots from the bar tender and more then a few down downs.

The Tale of the Trail:

On Wed. 24 Apr, 2019 we had a Whiskey Wednesday Hash with a last minute hare, the Son Of Spam and set from Easy Bar. We had a small pack, probably due to the last minute announcement. But we did manage to have five hounds and a visitor who walked to the beer stop with the hare. Our hare tried a new mark, a combination of Back Check and Split. Did it work. We will forever curse the gods that gave him that idea. Well, it sort of worked. At the fist one, I think Hooch B4 Cooch blew right through it on the Split option, I eventuyally I followed. Meanwhile the rest went fot the Back Check. They eventyually were catching up to me at the next one. This time it went back to the Back Check that was really marked screwy. But we found it and finally caught Hooch B4 Cooch at a Check. Again, screwed up with the On mark way around a corner. By now, Hooch B4 Cooch was so frustrated by the marks that he was about to just go off on a long run on his own. but we finally stunbled onto this mark and we were off again. I was as usual falling behind when I spotted Khal Drunko The Turd's head lamps two blocks away through an alley. Bingo, I was On again. Hooch B4 Cooch was out of sight and not seen until the beer stop. I followed Khal Drunko The Turd and found myself ahead of Its Too Soft and Deek Hermonica At the next Check, Horn-E and Deek Hermonica found trail and ran on to a Check at Division. We all struggled here. Khal Drunko The Turd disappeared, on trail, and was next seen at the beer stop. That left three of us. I wandered off to the west and then north and suddenly found a Check. I managed to eventually find this and had no trouble following the trail from there to the beer stop, just behind Deek Hermonica and ahead of Its Too Soft. Here we held circle before heading back to the bar. Hey, it sucked, but it somehow worked.

There was a TH3 Hash that I missed out of Carols. CTA had at least two missing buses in a row. So I went to the local and had a few beers.

On Sun Chicago Hash had a trail from Chipp Inn. Had to miss it due to other plans. .

Also heard at the last minute, 9:30 Sat night, about a Second City Hash in Palatine, set by Cums On All Bases. She even admitted a last minute Facebook posting and maybe a no show even though she would set a trail.

We have a Chicago Area attendance problem. The attendance this winter is the lowest I can remember in 30 years. Single digits for even the weeklies and everyone knows when they are, except when they aren't, and not always where they are until the last minute, and not always on their web site. Several occasions had monthly hashes getting more attendance then the weeklies. Should never be happening. Timely, complete announcements, well in advance, are the single greatest things to increase attendance. Or doesn't anyone care anymore. This week really demonstrates that fact. Four hashes that I know of and I only know of one location. They might be announced on Facebook, but not everyone is on Facebook. So, apparently we aren't invited unless I get an email from someone or I was at a hash were it was announced. Sorry Lower Wackoff, I can't help you much this week. Looks like I'm not invited either. I have a really nice calendar where these things could be announced, well in advance. If you have signed up to hash, surely you can find someplace before the day of the hash. Like weeks before the hash. Chicago Hash also has a calendar. Of course as if this moment, their calendar doesn't even have their own hash listed for Monday. With all of these hashes in town, there are only five working web sites. Sometimes. Really, Chicago often doesn't get updated until real close to the date and after I sent out my posts. Thirstday misses completely, all to damn often. Again, I can't pass on any information. Whiskey Wednesday's hasn't been updated for months. I manage to usually get the Big Dog Hash site listed weeks in advance. But again, not always due to lack of hare input. Now, what about Facebook. Apparently you have to join the group. Does that affect visitors. Probably. How would they know about all of the different hashes, their dates and locations. This last week was a good example. Last minute notice for Second City. Did anyone show? Another issue with Facebook is everyone on Facebook thinks that they can always check there at the last minute. The trouble with that is, all to often you find something else to do instead because there was nothing listed in advance. Our efforts should be to list our hashes well in advance and making the hash your first choice instead of something to do as a last resort. Really, we should be better then that, but we never will be the way we're doing things. Then throw in changing dates, special hash add ons, moving to another hashes scheduled date, two hashes continually scheduled on the same date. Really we can do better by picking and posting your locations early and cooperating between all of the hashes to eliminate conflicts for greater attendance. It really is more fun to set a trail for 20 or more then hopefully two or three. And you might be able to get good beer prices from various bars with a decent crowd. Just my opinion. Rant over. Have fun if you can find out where to go. 

ON ON
Horn-E
The Tale of the Trail:

On Thu, 18 Apr 2019, Sanding Ovation hared for her second time. This time from Miskas. She didn't receive a standing ovation. All right, she's knew and trying. As I saw it, and I saw very little, it was a runners trail in that she laid long straights and easy Splits. This tends to string out the pack and I was strung out and way behind. Hadn't seen anyone after about six blocks. All right, I'm slow. But the first Check was at that well known six corner intersection of Lincoln and Addison. When I got there, no one had bothered to sweep the Check. So I ranged. Actually I ranged all the way to the beer stop. Went straight south on Ravenswood to Belmont. From here I guessed the beer stop would be at one of two parks. I picked right and the closest park and there it was, Belmont and Damen. It was a short trail and soon the leaders of the pack came running in. If I managed to find that first Check, I might have still been out there at midnight. Eventually our two fastest runners, I Eat Dick and Roofie Ragu came in seperately. They both arrived late and both bitched about no one sweeping. Not the hares fault. She did have beer waiting. Back at the bar we had the usual good circle out of Miskas and the hare received a lot of down downs. 

Then we had a Friday hash on the 19th of Apr. 2019 out of the Twisted Hippo for an A to B trail set by SnatchSquatch. Gee. Would we end up in his cold dusty garage on a cold windy night. Stay tuned. We only had a small pack of Berts Special Friend who found most of the trail, Horn-Ewho solved he first Check and little else. Lower Wackoff who just managed to be DFL behind Horn-E, and a visitor, here for a few months on business from Al ba kur key, A Whole Lot Of Cum. She also did a good job of almost keeping up with Berts Special Friend and finding some of the trail. Nice neighborhoods and a twisting trail that had us going back and forth a lot before ending about a hundred feet from the fist Check and in a park. After a quick beer we headed over to, you guessed it, the garage. Cold, but a good time and a mild sitting circle.

Now we cum to the best hash of the week, month, and year so far. All right, I'm the hare and it was the annual Bushman Flower Hash set in Forest Glen, the heart of the spring flowers. The Day was Sat, 20 Apr 2019. Would Mother Nature cooperate? Well, it had been rainy and cold. The flowers were out, but not quite OUT. About 75 percent of their normal maximum but still pretty neat and enough for the most colorful run of the year. The ladies loved it. Unfortunately, none of the ladies were Harrietts. Just walkers in the park marveling at all of the spring beauty. The trail was left to two wankers, Berts Special Friend and The Foam Queen. Maybe everyone else was at the 4-20 celebration in Uptown or whatever. So, off they went, skirted a flooded area in the woods, full of yellow flowers and across Forest Glen Drive for a run along a path above the river and over looking another field full of yellow flowers that they would run through later. But first they ran on to Cicero and under the tunnel along the river, and on a bike path, and right past a Check. Fifteen minutes later they finally came back and saw that Check. This took them over the river, and back under the bridge, and to that field they had past on the other side of the river. Up a slippery hill and across Forest Glen Drive and into woods and more fields of, you guess it, yellow flowers everywhere. I saw a few deer here while laying trail and for the first time I rousted out a fox that took off like I was on a fox hunt. And isn't that sort of what hashing is. But the trail meanwhile looped back towards Forest Glen Drive and an arrow pointing across the river. Short cut over the bridge and back through a path in the woods surrounded by yellow flowers, mostly following the river until they came to the best field of flowers and the hare and two six packs of good beers. All was good, standing in the warm sun and drinking beer, and surrounded by, you guessed it, yellow flowers.

ON ON
Horn-E
The Tale of the Trail:
On Apr 11, 2019 we had a Thirstday Hash from Beaumonts and no hare. A pickup hash. The throw of the dice. High dice wins and we got Its To Soft as our first hare. Unfortunately also the last hare. He took off to the north with a Triple Split on the first corner. Five minutes later Horn-E found the next mark, a long block north and another Triple Split. By the time I returned from the north with no marks trail was found west, and another Split. Khal Drunko The Turd was another long block to the north before he found a Check. He found the trail from here, through De Paul and over to a Check at Halsted/Lincoln/Fullerton corner. You all know the corner, Checking hell with multiple marks in up to 10 different directions that are False and one true direction. Unfortunately there were no marks on any corner and we worked the Check in all directions. All five of us including Soul Taco, Ice princess and a virgin visitor. Nothing, anywhere. The last I saw of anyone was when I ran a block north on Lincoln and back. I had just seen Soul Taco heading north on the east side of the street on Halsted. When I returned everyone had finally given up, but I didn't know that. I assumed that Soul Taco found trail and everyone is heading north on Halsted. I went north a block and nothing. Crossing the street I accidentally spotted an arrow heading north, but hidden four feet into a gangway, a block and a nasty six corner intersection away from the Check, This would get you hell in the circle on a sunny day with a pack of 20 front running hounds. Think this pack in the dark. Trail went north to Wrightwood and a Triple Split. This is still only the second mark off of the Check. I went a block right. Wrong. I went a long block straight. Wrong. I went a block left and found a Split, the third mark. Naturally I went the wrong way and the way the marks were being laid, one per block, I ran all of the way to Shefield. No marks. But across the street I spotted a Check. Is Its Too Soft still laying trail? Somebody else? I cross Sheffield and ranged through the park and back to Sheffield. Nothing. I started heading south on Lincoln and felt the first few drops of rain. I'M DONE. Thunderstorms coming. Meanwhile Its Too Soft laid some more trail and then waited for the pack to arrive and pass of the haring duties. No one ever showed up. So he called the hare and was told to come to the beer stop. The rest of the pack, having given up, also called the hare and found out where the beer stop was and headed there. Called? Skipped Trail? Quit laying trail? What happened to good trail and working it. Back at the bar I got in just after the pack and light rain was coming down from what was supposed to be heavy rains yet to come. Its Too Sft, that is why you got a lot of down downs.

On Fri the 13th of April, there was a Big Dog Hash set by Crotch Fire in a Forest Preserve in Elmwood Park. My train was delayed by CTA rail work and I missed my planned arrival at the end. Then I mis-calculated the distance to the woods and started running, a good two miles. The pack waited but finally left about five minutes before I arrived. Bloody Thighs was just leaving on a walkers short cut when I got there. So we took off together and after a bit of Checking, the pack finally caught us, More good running in the woods and more deer running everywhere then I've seen on a trail for over ten years. We finally crossed a bridge and more woods. At a big puddle Horn-E managed to work his way around the puddle and found marks. Now out of the woods it was a parking lot with light chalk marks, crossing North Ave, and more parking lot in an abandoned mall. Finally trail was found on track and Horn-E led the pack across the Gay Bridge and to a Beer Stop that Horn-E completely missed. Meanwhile Lower Wackoff was hugging Bloody Thighs who was afraid of falling into the abyss below. Who else, Lifa and False Adveertising. And Crotch Fire on his off road bike. From the beer stop False Advertising and eventually Horn-E led us on paths back to North Ave and then sidewalks back to the woods and a laid back circle at a picnic bench in the sun. We found a ten pound broken bar bell near the table. Horn-E started using it to crush the cans. Worked great. Got that False Advertising, Crotch Fire. Patience and perfect hockey pucks. From there I was given a ride back home by Bloody Thighs. Thanks.

Now we come to the Chicago Hash on Sun, 14 Apr, 2019. It was set by Hobo Piss and Butt Steff from Big Joes. We had a drop in temperature and a light snow. Unfortunately the temperature was near freezing and the snow turned to a few inches of wet slush. Damn. There were only three hounds, and fortunately the hare swept because the snow was still coming down and we missed marks on several occasions, especially turns, finally ending at the usual tunnel where Butt Steff finally joined us with some whiskey shots. Back at the bar it was a short laid back circle and then we went to the brewery across the street where they were having some sword fight demonstrations. Interesting. And finally I got a ride back home from the hares. Fun, but a little wet. Shoes that is and that was all. 


On On
Horn-E

The Tale of the Trail:
On Apr 4, 2019 we had a Thirstday Hash from Weathermark, set by Soul Taco and Ice Princess for 16 Hounds. Would it rain. Not enough to worry about and we were soon off through a parking lot and south in an alley following flour marks. I was running near the back with two hounds following, including Famming Flaggot. Somehow thay got lost and eventually just returned to the bar. After a Check we headed west and a quick dip further south before heading north o Clark and up towards Roosevelt, Running behind, I still had some hounds passing me. Good Checks of Splits I guess. At Roosevelt we ran towards this mall and through it heading further north. I followed Pearl Vision but soon lost her. I came to the big stairway heading down to ground level and there were hounds running everywhere. Must be a Check. I headed a block north and found Silent But Deadly running to the east from a Triple Split, She soon returned and the pack quickly joined us. We ended up going further north and at a Split, everyone kept going north to the corner. There was another Split. But the real screw up was that it was coming off of a Check to the west, that came off of that previous Split. But with no arrows, everyone headed east and another mark, that was only number two off of the check, not the first mark off of a Split. Got that. Hell, we were there and couldn't figure it out. I even went two more blocks to the east. We all got sucked in real good. We finally returned and found that unknown Check. Damn. Well Done Hare. So Roofie goes west and then south and soon On. I went north and ended up right behind him and the pack headed east. We missed another mark, down into the El System under the Congress Parkway and out the other side. Well, we eventually found that and ran north to a Split at Lake. I got there last and Kahl Drunko The Turd was a block to the east and Roofie a block north and a lot of hounds just hanging around. Well  last in, last out and I headed east, but on the south side of the street. Guess what? Mister DFL was On. I yelled out and everyone was already going the wrong way. Khal Drunko The Turd and that old fart Horn-E are now running one two and On trai. We finally came to a Check back on Congress Parkway. Khal Drunko The Turn was on and I caught the light. Damn. I followed and suddenly Roofie Ragu joined up with us. A block later was another Check and by the time I got there, they were gone and no one in sight behind me. I head south. There is a park and maybe a beer stop. Nothing. I came back towards the check by checking another way into that park. Again nothing. Trail must go east. It did. But I didn't see the marks. I ran to State and nothing. Crossed the street and returned finding a Split. So I head south following that mark and soon was passed by four hounds. At the next corner, we had no marks. So they said they knew were the Beer Stop was and pulled out a phone to check Facebook(?). What does that have to do with hashing? Dearborn Park??? So I follow them south and they are soon gone and there are no marks, Sort of took away the hash aspect of what we are doing. I followed for a short bit and just sort of quit. Wasn't fun anymore. I walked to that park and nothing there and just headed back to the bar. Meanwhile, the trail went over to Grant Park, under the Outer Drive and around Soldiers Field and the foot bridge back and a beer stop. Missed it. Damn.

On Fri the 5th of April, there was a First Crack of the Moon Hash. It was set by Bi Holer from Stelios for an A to B trail for eight hounds. I didn't make it. Business, But I heard one comment,  "She's one mean hare!!!"

Then we have the Chicago Hash on Sun, 7 Apr, 2019. It was set by False Advertising from Emmitts with a theme of Chicago movie locations. There were 19 hounds. I had to miss the trail, but showed up after circle. Everyone was in good spirits and drinking buckets of long necks, well after hash cash ran out. It was a beautiful warn day for running, but a long 7 miles.

On On
Horn-E



The Tale of the Trail:
On Wed. 27 Mar 2019 we had no hare or location This was the Whiskey Wednesday Hash. But at the last minute, Berts Special Friend called it for the Wise Owl Drinkery and a pickup hash. He took the first leg as hare and we had a really screwed up start with no one finding the starting Check for about 10 minutes. And we were all standing there watching him take off. Seven doofus hashers. Yeah, me included. Horn-E and False Advertising finally found trail over the bridge to the south and the race was on. A short bit to the west and south of the expressway and we headed north and west, with a few bits and turns, to a park. I was destined for DFL again when suddenly The King Of Bedbugs showed up right behind me and beat me to the beer stop. From here. Glory Hole took off as the next hare while everyone else drank some whiskey. A shorter bit. Horn-E actually found the starting trail, but soon fell behind a short twisting trail to the east with a few alleys. Running DFL again at this point I emerged from an alley to see Lifa perched over a body laying on the ground. Bi Holer clipped a slight edge in the side walk just as her dog gave an extra added tug on his leash. Boom. Got both knees. A block from the finish, and again, Horn-E is DFL, along with Lifa and Bi Holer. The Third leg of the trail was set by The King Of Bedbugs. A shorter trail, and to the east and a little park just south of the Bi Holer/Glory Hole palace in the sky. Since they were walking home after her little boo boo, they got to this park just as the pack arrived and Horn-E came in DFL all on his own this time. Hey, it worked. We then returned to the bar and listened to The King Of Bedbugs give a lecture on high finance and mortgages. Others on trail were Meat Inside Her and Khal Drunko The Turd.

Thu. was the usual TH3 Hash, this time set by Just Francis and Rusty Grundel out of Roses for 16 trail hounds. This includes a new area hasher, Just Toki, moving here from South Florida. Maybe next time she can bring her husband, Kill Whitie. We took off to the north and west where there was a nicely laid back check that suddenly put Horn-E in the lead. Yeah, that was short lived. From here it was south and west with a long straight getting us to a Check at Ashland. By the time I got there, there were two other hashers left and the rest of the pack were off on true trail to the west. SnatchSquatch went north and then returned to find the trail the pack was off on. Cumma Slutra fellowed. Meanwhile I was returning from a False to the south and everyone was now gone. I finally found the trail to the west and another Check at Clybourn. Someone marked it maybe to the south. I went that way while the pack was off to the west and south on a big loop over bridges and such. Meanwhile I ranged looking for trail and over to Ashland and Clybourn. Saw Silent But Deadly here. She was heading back, but told me where the pack was heading and I headed down Clybourn to cut them off. Maybe. Hopefully. Ain't going to happen. At Webster I started ranging back towards the finish and as I was heading north on Southport, past this little park, I heard my name. There were the hares and SnatchSquatch at the beer stop. About five minutes later the pack started to roll on in. I'd have been out there another half hour if I didn't get lost and lucky. Back at the bar we held a short circle and then got into naming Just Francis. Forever more he will be known as Cracker Tracker.

On a beautiful Sunday for running, 31 Mar 2019, Hooch B4 Cooch laid a trail for eleven trail hounds from Frank and Mary's, again. We took off to the north and quickly got to a Check that gave us trouble. But it was again found to the north and we were soon at a Check at California, Elston and Belmont. By the time I got there, the pack was scattering north and east and west. But the last time the Hare laid a trail/check here, we went south and I found that trail. Duh. Let's try again. I indicate to Its Too Soft at the Check that I was heading south. Two blocks later I find the third arrow. I tried yelling, but traffic and such and no one in sight, so I marked that arrow and ran on. Check hangers, try to watch all hounds in all directions so you can rally the pack. A nasty loop and I'm soon at another Check. I went on two Falses before finding this trail to the south and east. I soon made my way to another Check at Diversey. At this point I'm guessing on where the beer stop would be, and I was right, but I got to imaginative and went west, mainly thinking of a short cut over to Logan Blvd. A long run to California and returning on the other side of the street, I finally spot the pack catching up. I wave them to the east. I find another False, this time up some stairs and behind a building with no way down. I return and follow the pack east and then I head for Western and south and pick up the pack a block south. From here the trail went mainly east and south and along Elston. A few fits and twists and I found myself following Pony Pounder to the south and we eventually headed into a parking area next to a factory and a little park by the river and beer. And Horn-E wasn't last for once.

On On
Horn-E


The Tale of the Trail:

On 14 Mar, 2014, Gay Dancer and Just Alex laid a trail from Parrots for TH3 and 15 hounds. For me, it started out well as I was able to follow them through a few turns and Splits and Checks as trail worked its way towards Lincoln Park. Well, besides the a$$hole that ran a stop sign and almost hit me. I literally hit his car. As we paralleled Lincoln Park heading north, I was following The Cock Whisperer. She suddenly came back, no marks after a Split. Then Silent But Deadly and One Fuck Chuck came by. They just kept going and back into the city and not on trail and who knows what. I tried to follow and never saw trail again finally doing a loop down Belmont to Sheffield and back to the bar without a mark. Of course, the trail didn't go there. The Cock Whisperer finally used Facebook to find the Beer Stop. I got back to the bar about 5 minutes before the pack arrived. After circle we got around to naming Just Alex. A lively session which finally came up with Sanding Ovation. Good name.

On Sat 16 Mar 2019, we had the monthly Bushman Hash set by Horn-E for 10 hounds from Caldwell Woods. Unfortunately only two hounds showed up, R-Tard-E and Just Travis. But it was the usual run through the woods with a lot of low standing water and some nice gullies and water crossings thrown in. And then there was the impassable section trying to avoid standing water. It didn't and the hounds didn't do it. Then there was the Check in the big field of grass. There was a mark on a tree with two Check marks just below it. But they didn't follow the trail exactly and ranged to the two False trails in the distance. Ooops. Stay on trail. They eventually found it and were soon on in where the hare was waiting with some good beer. After we headed over to Yackoos for the On In. 

Sun 17 Mar 2019, was the usual Chicago hash, at least when it is the usual Sunday hash. Set by Hooch B4 Cooch and Taste The Rainbow from O'Donnell's for 8 hounds. We started south and west a bit and I was able to stay with the pack through a mess of Checks, Back Checks and Splits that we had a little trouble solving. Suddenly while I was out checking to the north east, the trail was found to the north and I ran the rest of the way trying to catch up. I didn't as we did a counterclockwise loop to one of the usual beer stops in that area. And there was Taste The Rainbow standing over a cooler treasure chest of Founders Real gold. Well done. The rest of the pack were well into there beers. Back at the bar, our resident chow hound, Eat My Pussy found the bars courtesy St. Patrick's buffet of Corn Beef, etc. So after a quick feed, I Eat Dick led circle for us.  After the short circle we settled into naming Just Travis. Pony something or other. Damn my memory
The Tale of the Trail:
On Thu. 7 Mar 2018, Berts Special Friend laid a trail out of Phd for TH3. I missed it, but heard it was a good trail. Obviously told to me by someone who doesn't know what a good trail is.

Then on Sat. 9 Mar 2018, we had another shitty trail, this time set by R-Tard-E for the Big Dogs Hash and 8 soaked hounds. This was set  from Nicks Neighborhood Tavern in Wilmette. I took the El to Linden and walked to the bar. Of course, that is about precisely when the rain started. Steady rain. About a mile walk and I spotted a Split along the way. Good. Missed the bar and finally saw Stiffy 4 Stiffies running along by the Metra tracks. I soon saw the rest of the pack minus SnatchSquatch who was already lost. And the pack was almost lost as most of the marks to that point were washed away. We finally got over to the Split I previously saw. Almost completely gone. That was the last mark we saw. Several blocks later the pack gave up as ALL marks were washed out. When rain is expected, use flour if possible, big chunks in a pile. Really works. One Fuck Check finally managed to reach the hare with his cell phone and we all ran over to the beer stop, under a bridge just north of Bahai Temple. We held circle there while we watched Just Travis shivering more then even Stiffy 4 Stiffies in shorts. We then got rides back to the bar. About 45 minutes later we called Or G and sang him Happy Birthday Fuck You. Well, some lady came over and told me about the kids in the bar. Three of them on the other side. Yeah sure. About 15 minutes later it looked like Chucky Cheeze with about 20 kids all over the bar. Back to the dive bars. And thanks to R-Tard-E who gave a bunch of us a ride to the El.

That was two shitty trails in a row. Can we make it three. Well, Horn-E and Gay Dancer tried their best and it was shitty as par for the course. This was a CH3 Hash out of Irish Eyes for 18 hounds. Of course we got lucky with 5 virgins or it would have been the usual shitty turnout. Trail worked its way over towards the Zoo and we were already losing hounds at the first Check at Fullerton and Halsted. Damn six corner intersections. Just before the Zoo, trail went into the Conservatory for a warn up quick walk around and the off to the jungles of Chicago. I thought that was supposed to be a zoo. We saw one vulture that reminded me of the girl I took home the last time I got drunk. At least that is what she looked like in the morning. We did see a few Zebras. Zebras? They're from tropical Africa. Where was the damn polar bear. I digress. Gay Dancer and Horn-E got the beer and headed over to Jonquel park and along comes Dr. Cockvorkian. From the north. Trail went south?????? Eventually Furry Spice came in first and on trail and False Advertising came in from another wrong direction. ????? The rest of the pack came in in two groups and all of the virgins made it. All right, it was a shitty hash, but the biggest shitty hash of the year. Can summer be coming. We then moved on to the B. A bar called Tapster. New concept. Pour your own beers. They give you a special card and you put it into a slot of well over 20 choices and draw your own beer, You pay by the ounce. $.09/oz PBR. Never give that key card to Horn-E. Was he hungover on Mon? Damn right he was. Now will someone tell him how he got home.

On On
Horn-E



The Tale of the Trail:

On Sun, 24 Feb, 2019, we had a trail laid by Roofie Ragu (the incoming GM) and Gay Dancer (The outgoing GM) from Mahonneys for about 8 hounds. We took off heading Northwest and finally at a Check near the Expressway. I was last to the area and headed to a foot path over the highway an obvious choice. But I didn't see the first mark on top of a wall and didn't quite go far enough for the second mark. Damn. 10 minutes later I was in the wrong direction when it was finally found and now dead last I followed the King Of Bedbugs and eventually caught the pack at another Check. We headed south and then east from there. I again fell behind do to a hurricane blast of wind. I hid behind a wall and buttoned up my vest and watched False Advertising battle the cyclonic winds. Dead last again I finally saw some other hashers wandering around Halsted and Grand, a block after a Check. Duh. I'm standing on a mark heading south or East. I went south with Dr. Cockvorkian and found nothing. So I returned to the Split and headed East. On two, On three and I yell On On to the King Of Bedbugs. He yelled On On and no one followed or where within sight. We struggled on two Splits, one near tracks as we started to realize the distance between marks. We headed over towards the Merchandise Mart where we had another Split. King Of Bedbugs had first choice and I had second choice. I was right, not that I saw marks, but by ranging down towards the Franklin St. bridge. Now I'm really alone, but I think I'm in front and I follow trail to Lake, over the bridge and a turn up some steps. I opt to go around the building and into a wind that almost had me going backwards. I finally found trail coming down some stairs and I was off to the west. Split after Split and I guessed right. Crossing Halsted and eventually another Split. Again correct I headed north across the track and a Turn arrow on Kinzie. Somehow I missed the next two marks and had to return to that turn mark. Did I miss a Check? Was that turn arrow just 2 after a Check? I back tracked across the tracks and found 3 arrows in a row. Damn. So I returned to that turn and went on and there were the two marks I missed. If not for that, I could have been FRB. I'm not only old and slow, I'm going blind too. But I ran on and on Grand I finally saw King Of Bedbugs catching up. A block later I had the BN and a Triple Split. Looking back, there is Dr, Cockvorkian and J. Travis. Damn. They quickly passed me. A few blocks later we were at beer. But not DFL. Eat My Pussy finally came into the beer stop DFL. We were missing Son Of Spam and False Advertising and found them back at the bar. Son of Spam was actually FRB having given up, short cut back and stumbled onto trail into beer.

Then on Wed, 27 Feb 2019 we returned to the same area for a trail out of Twisted Spoke for the Whiskey Wednesday Hash. This time we had 7 hounds and I was soon back to form. Trail went straight west eventually to a Split and then south. By the time I got there, they were returning from a Back Check. Naturally I went the wrong way and a block later I saw The King Of Bedbugs heading off in the distance. I struggled with the trail, but it was swept and not to bad, but I'm really falling behind. I finally opt to ranging and headed straight east hoping to range into trail. At Halsted I headed north and withing seconds there was an arrow and then Feather and Pearl Vision zipped past me. Two blocks later they were out of sight. But I followed trail okay and eventually opted to ranging again as no one was in sight. West, north across the tracks, west again and finally in the distance I saw someone running across the street. It was False Advertising. I ran to there and found trail and followed it into the finish were the pack was waiting along the expressway and over an unclimbable fence. I went around and was soon at beer and into a circle. Did I ever go downhill from last Sunday.

On Thu 28 Feb 2019, we had a trash the old house, farewell hash from Sandy Syphillis's old apartment. Four hares or beer stop watchers. Sandy Syphillis, I Eat Dick, Gay Dancer and Mommys Little Accident. There were 15 hounds and the trail was not that difficult as we ran a big loop and I slowly fell behind. Even the late arrivals, J Ben and Eat My Pussy passed me. I finally took a short cut at Wrigley Field as the trail headed further east. At the southern end I saw the leaders of the pack and was back on trail and with the pack. But that didn't last long and I was again struggling alone. But trail was mostly well swept and I soon made it into the beer stop behind Trader Joe's. And just ahead of Eat My Pussy. But another slow trail for me and I was dead tired for some reason. Circle was in the apartment and shortly after I headed home, exhauusted.

Sun 3 Mar 2019 was another Chicago Hash, this time set by Crash Test Dummy for  nine hounds. The pack was soon off and heading south and west. I was soon way back again. Not again. Damn. But a quick Check and I eventually followed False Advertising to the west. He eventually found trail and Lifa arrived ranging and the three of us ran on. Where everyone else was is anyone's guess. We finally got to the second Check going backwards from a False. We ran and ran and played hell on this Check. A pattern is developing. Marks to far from the Check, especially for a small pack. This time the trail was found with the first mark, two blocks north. I finally got on trail with Wanky Wonky and we got to Check number three. The pack was still wandering around not finding a thing except the marks from Thursdays trail. Ooops. Everyone was going everywhere. I think the real trail went straight east, but the gap between arrow 2 and arrow 3 was past an alley, a six corner intersection, another alley and El tracks. Two far apart. I finally ranged to Addison and Clark and no marks. Time to start on a wide loop and see in I get lucky. I went east and kept looking for marks from the north. At Halsted I headed south and if I didn't find anything it was straight to the bar. Damn, a  block later and there was a Split coming from the south. I'm On, but where in the pack. I think False Advertising and the King Of Bedbugs were ahead, but not together. Everyone else cheated and called Facebook and headed over to the beer stop. Meanwhile I'm off and running. Several Checks and Splits and I kept picking the wrong way. But trail went over to Belmont Harbor and then west on Belmont. Finally, at an apartment building, I found the B. it was in the alley, They were all gone. WTF. Did anyone even make it? I ran back to the bar and there they were, holding circle without me. I went in, an hour and 55 minutes from the start, I felt great on trail and wasn't tired. Big change from Wednesday and Thursday. Maybe I'll have to stick to the CH3 hashes. We also had a virgin hasher, J. Allie. Hope you like it and return soon.

On On
Horn-E

Tales of the Trail:

On Wed, 30 Jan, 2019, we had a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by The King Of Bed Bugs out of Lizzie McNeiles. WOW. Probably about -15 degrees, that is 15 DEGREES BELOW ZERO or -26 Celsius. And don't forget the 15 to 20 mile wind chill factor. This was a Chicago Area record cold hash and three hounds came out for the trail, Its Too Soft, Berts Special Friend and Horn-E. I know I was dressed so warm that I had to undo two vests and take off my gloves on occasion to let the excess heat out of my body. Its Too Soft was dressed in yuppie cold weather gear and looked like he was ready for a poler excursion. He looked so out of place the homeless were challenging him for showing off while they were struggling to stay alive. And Berts Special Friend just sort of blended in as he led us most of the way on this excursion into the depths of Lower Wacker Drive. After we went to the Condo of The King Of Bed Bugs and watched the bed bug races around his bed. I actually picked the winner 2 out of 7 times. I enjoyed a Zombie beer and when I went to get another, chilling on the balcony. It was frozen. So much for chilling beer outside at -15 degrees.

Thu 31 Jan 2019 actually saw a warm up of about 5 to 10 degrees. And we had a huge build up over Wednesday's hash. Two  hares, Just James ans SnatchSquatch and five hounds. And Just James actually swept the trail and did a good job. We lost Silent But Deadly early on as she tried to short cut. Next time I saw her was back at the bar. But the rest of us sort of stayed together until they lost me on Lincoln. Hey, when have we ever lost Horn-E before. Actually I almost caught them again just before the beer stop at the gazebo. By then I had my gloves off again to let the heat out of my body and stood there, well below Zero, drinking beer with no gloves. Who else was on trail? Just Mary, Its Too Soft and Wanky Wonky. Good circle back at the bar.

Sun, the 3rd of Feb, 2019, was our annual Super Bowl Party hash out of Little Trojan Annie's and W Jew 40's house. Only it wasn't. They had a burst pipe in their apartment and had to find a last minute replacement. Chunder Pussy and Back Door County volunteered and he started planning another great meat extravaganza and she started making pudding shots. Just as I left home to head to the original location, I decided to make a last minute check on the Chicago Hash web site. WHAT? Emergency change of plans and now I was running out the door to catch whatever bus I could catch so I might not be to damn late. I ran up to their house to see the hare, Mommy's Little Accident, standing out front, just about to take off on a live trail. I made it. And we had another big turnout for trail. Not. Just five again. Horn-E, Sandy Syphilis, Cums On Everybody, Furry Spice and a visitor from San Francisco who may return for grad school next year, Bloody Good Head. A short trail that kept us out of most alleys and mostly dry in the warming weather and melting snow. After we stood in the back yard for about 45 minutes for circle and I stood there in just a t-shirt and pants. After two extremely cold hashes last week, my body adapted as best as it could and I was warm. Of course it was a balmy 47 degrees. But think how cold I would have been last October dressed like that. Our bodies can do many great things when pressed and trained for it. But we have to get out there and do it.

Last week we had four separate hares and 13 hounds or nine separate hashers. We can do better. Come on out. Just dress properly, maybe an extra layer or two and the weather isn't so overwhelming. The hashes are still fun.       

On On
Horn-E
Tales of the Trail: On Wed, 30 Jan, 2019, we had a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by The King Of Bed Bugs out of Lizzie McNeiles. WOW. Probably about -15 degrees, that is 15 DEGREES BELOW ZERO or -26 Celsius. And don't forget the 15 to 20 mile wind chill factor. This was a Chicago Area record cold hash and three hounds came out for the trail, Its Too Soft, Berts Special Friend and Horn-E. I know I was dressed so warm that I had to undo two vests and take off my gloves on occasion to let the excess heat out of my body. Its Too Soft was dressed in yuppie cold weather gear and looked like he was ready for a poler excursion. He looked so out of place the homeless were challenging him for showing off while they were struggling to stay alive. And Berts Special Friend just sort of blended in as he led us most of the way on this excursion into the depths of Lower Wacker Drive. After we went to the Condo of The King Of Bed Bugs and watched the bed bug races around his bed. I actually picked the winner 2 out of 7 times. I enjoyed a Zombie beer and when I went to get another, chilling on the balcony. It was frozen. So much for chilling beer outside at -15 degrees. Thu 31 Jan 2019 actually saw a warm up of about 5 to 10 degrees. And we had a huge build up over Wednesday's hash. Two  hares, Just James ans SnatchSquatch and five hounds. And Just James actually swept the trail and did a good job. We lost Silent But Deadly early on as she tried to short cut. Next time I saw her was back at the bar. But the rest of us sort of stayed together until they lost me on Lincoln. Hey, when have we ever lost Horn-E before. Actually I almost caught them again just before the beer stop at the gazebo. By then I had my gloves off again to let the heat out of my body and stood there, well below Zero, drinking beer with no gloves. Who else was on trail? Just Mary, Its Too Soft and Wanky Wonky. Good circle back at the bar. Sun, the 3rd of Feb, 2019, was our annual Super Bowl Party hash out of Little Trojan Annie's and W Jew 40's house. Only it wasn't. They had a burst pipe in their apartment and had to find a last minute replacement. Chunder Pussy and Back Door County volunteered and he started planning another great meat extravaganza and she started making pudding shots. Just as I left home to head to the original location, I decided to make a last minute check on the Chicago Hash web site. WHAT? Emergency change of plans and now I was running out the door to catch whatever bus I could catch so I might not be to damn late. I ran up to their house to see the hare, Mommy's Little Accident, standing out front, just about to take off on a live trail. I made it. And we had another big turnout for trail. Not. Just five again. Horn-E, Sandy Syphilis, Cums On Everybody, Furry Spice and a visitor from San Francisco who may return for grad school next year, Bloody Good Head. A short trail that kept us out of most alleys and mostly dry in the warming weather and melting snow. After we stood in the back yard for about 45 minutes for circle and I stood there in just a t-shirt and pants. After two extremely cold hashes last week, my body adapted as best as it could and I was warm. Of course it was a balmy 47 degrees. But think how cold I would have been last October dressed like that. Our bodies can do many great things when pressed and trained for it. But we have to get out there and do it. Last week we had four separate hares and 13 hounds or nine separate hashers. We can do better. Come on out. Just dress properly, maybe an extra layer or two and the weather isn't so overwhelming. The hashes are still fun.        On OnTales of the Trail: On Wed, 30 Jan, 2019, we had a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by The King Of Bed Bugs out of Lizzie McNeiles. WOW. Probably about -15 degrees, that is 15 DEGREES BELOW ZERO or -26 Celsius. And don't forget the 15 to 20 mile wind chill factor. This was a Chicago Area record cold hash and three hounds came out for the trail, Its Too Soft, Berts Special Friend and Horn-E. I know I was dressed so warm that I had to undo two vests and take off my gloves on occasion to let the excess heat out of my body. Its Too Soft was dressed in yuppie cold weather gear and looked like he was ready for a poler excursion. He looked so out of place the homeless were challenging him for showing off while they were struggling to stay alive. And Berts Special Friend just sort of blended in as he led us most of the way on this excursion into the depths of Lower Wacker Drive. After we went to the Condo of The King Of Bed Bugs and watched the bed bug races around his bed. I actually picked the winner 2 out of 7 times. I enjoyed a Zombie beer and when I went to get another, chilling on the balcony. It was frozen. So much for chilling beer outside at -15 degrees. Thu 31 Jan 2019 actually saw a warm up of about 5 to 10 degrees. And we had a huge build up over Wednesday's hash. Two  hares, Just James ans SnatchSquatch and five hounds. And Just James actually swept the trail and did a good job. We lost Silent But Deadly early on as she tried to short cut. Next time I saw her was back at the bar. But the rest of us sort of stayed together until they lost me on Lincoln. Hey, when have we ever lost Horn-E before. Actually I almost caught them again just before the beer stop at the gazebo. By then I had my gloves off again to let the heat out of my body and stood there, well below Zero, drinking beer with no gloves. Who else was on trail? Just Mary, Its Too Soft and Wanky Wonky. Good circle back at the bar. Sun, the 3rd of Feb, 2019, was our annual Super Bowl Party hash out of Little Trojan Annie's and W Jew 40's house. Only it wasn't. They had a burst pipe in their apartment and had to find a last minute replacement. Chunder Pussy and Back Door County volunteered and he started planning another great meat extravaganza and she started making pudding shots. Just as I left home to head to the original location, I decided to make a last minute check on the Chicago Hash web site. WHAT? Emergency change of plans and now I was running out the door to catch whatever bus I could catch so I might not be to damn late. I ran up to their house to see the hare, Mommy's Little Accident, standing out front, just about to take off on a live trail. I made it. And we had another big turnout for trail. Not. Just five again. Horn-E, Sandy Syphilis, Cums On Everybody, Furry Spice and a visitor from San Francisco who may return for grad school next year, Bloody Good Head. A short trail that kept us out of most alleys and mostly dry in the warming weather and melting snow. After we stood in the back yard for about 45 minutes for circle and I stood there in just a t-shirt and pants. After two extremely cold hashes last week, my body adapted as best as it could and I was warm. Of course it was a balmy 47 degrees. But think how cold I would have been last October dressed like that. Our bodies can do many great things when pressed and trained for it. But we have to get out there and do it. Last week we had four separate hares and 13 hounds or nine separate hashers. We can do better. Come on out. Just dress properly, maybe an extra layer or two and the weather isn't so overwhelming. The hashes are still fun.        On On

Tales of the Trail:
Last Thu Jan 17, 2019, Soul Taco laid trail out of Beaumonts for TH3 and 12 hounds. We're really getting bigger packs again and it is getting colder and colder. But come on out, and dress warm. Soul Taco had us going back and forth as we headed towards De Paul and a Check. Got us all good and the pack was scattered throughout De Paul while the trail went east. Well done. More zig zagging as trail stayed close to Beaumont in a counter clockwise direction. I was falling behind and came to a BN near Oz Park. Nope, not there. Damn. No B at the hill. So I returned finding I Eat Dick, Hooch B4 Cooch and Its Too Soft. We headed south and I soon found three marks, They quickly passed me and were soon out of sight. So I ranged and found nothing. Damn. Getting late I headed past mansion row and towards OZ park again. And suddenly some FRBs ran right by me. I followed and was 4th to the BS at the hill. When I was previously there, Soul Taco hadn't laid that part yet. Back at the bar we had a decent circle and fell into drinking, at $1 a bottle and $2 craft beers. Good time.

Sat 1/17/2019 was a Bushman Hash in La Bagh Woods with Horn-E haring and major snow was expected. I had that problem last week. But this week the snow, about 6 inches, (yes I know what six inches is), stopped just before I needed to be laying trail. I actually started laying trail about a quarter mile into trail at the bridge over the river on Cicero. Plowing into the woods and virgin snow for most of the early trail as I took it east along the river. eventually I went up hill, inland and headed the trail over to some wet lands. Ooops. the wet lands were covered in snow, but had a lot of low level slush and cooold water. I quickly retreated and put a big X on the ground. Do not go past. So I skirted the wetlands and a herd of deer and headed to the old railroad right a way. From here I took the pack further east and up to a wall where Mommys Little Accident almost climbed. Damn, I should have done that. But trail went back west along the river and up a steep slippery hill. From here we crossed the old abandoned trestle and ran trail around another wet land with a few sort of nasty leaps across small drainage ditches. Or go around like the hare did. Eventually trail was to go past the parking lot and down to the river, out of the wind, for a beer stop. Coming into the parking lot there was a growing pack that hit 11 hounds. At about 2:35 I sent them off with directions to head for the bike path and keep going until they found marks. Then I went and set up the beer stop with Or G. Nice circle in the woods and then we headed to Aunt Ednas (Corrib) where I bought the first round, mostly Guinness, and we hung around for about three rounds. Good wind down and warm up. When we finally left, R-Tard-E dropped Its Too Soft and myself off at the Peterson bus and all was good.

On Sun 1/20/2019 we had a CH3 Hash. Lifa's annual snow hash with co-hares, Stab 'em  & Slab 'em and The Reverand Shut The Fuck Up. And we had snow after two years with no snow. 6 inches of virgin snow and we would go through a lot of virgin snow. Well, the 5 other runners on the Eagle Trail did. By the time I got there it was following footprints. Green flour didn't work as well in snow as it does on dry or wet land. So many marks were not visible until we were actually on them. But the trail wandered north towards the U of Chicago campus. But we never entered the campus. Instead it was back and forth through deep snow on the Midway Plaisance before working our way into Jackson Park and some more virgin snow. Finally we hit paths and a BN. And that was just south of the golden statue. By the time I got there, the walkers and runners had already left. The only ones there were the hares. That and a car with a dead battery. Ooops. So I left with The Reverend Shut The Fuck Up while Lifa waited for a Jump with Stab 'em & Slab 'em. Back at the Slab "em & Slab 'em house we found the pack waiting and already drinking beer. Soon the hares and rescue team returned and we started circle in the basement as usual. After circle we had the usual good feed with Chili, Italian beef, Mac n cheeze, and numerous other treats. I finally settled into football game with the hosts and Mudsucker, And after the game I got a ride to the Red Line from Mudsucker. One of the walkers was Meister who is an ex GM for Chicago. Hadn't seen him in over 15 years.

On On
Horn-E


Tales of the Trail:
On Thu, Jan 10, 2019 we had a Thirstday Hash set by our outgoing GM, Menstrual Casserole from Miskas, a TH3 favorite. We  had 20 hounds on trail and were soon off and running. I left the Pied Piper in my dust in the first few blocks as we headed north and eventually to the east. Or course the rest of the pack left me in their dust just as fast. I managed to catch them at Addison and Lincoln where they were struggling at a Check. But it was soon found to the south and eventually south on Lincoln. Again they left me in their dust and at a left turn I went straight thinking I need to catch up. At Lincoln and Belmont, I found no Check. Damn. Am I lost again. I went one more block south on Ashland and there was Silent But Deadly flying by and soon followed by Khal Drunko the Turd. I followed and after briefly losing them I found about five hounds and the hare at a shot stop. I eventually moved on walking and eventually running and the pack was soon catching up and we all arrived at Damen and Diversey for a Check. After going off on a False Trail we were returning and I followed Silent But Deadly into the old projects. We ran into Lifa and Its Too Soft and they had a mark. We headed north and were soon on, but there was no one else in sight to call out to. Well, again I got left in the dust and came to a Check at Clybourn and they were gone. I headed east and was soon on marks, but again, no one in sight. The next Check was in a park and it was marked BN. Furry Spice was just arriving from another direction and we took off to the North and East. I got lucky and found a Split heading into an alley and I was soon off to the races. Furry Spice was soon right behind me as trail headed over to Damen and north on Damen across Belmont and into a little park. Furry Spice caught me just as I reached the beer. If you keep trying and pushing yourself and managed to get positioned at the last few Checks, even a lost in the dust old man like myself can manage to be FRB. Back at the bar we held a very long fun circle and sent off Menstrual casserole in style. We wish her well.

Sat, Jan 19, 2019 was a Big Dog Hash, the Annual 8 Beer Stop Hash set at Catherine Chevalier Woods by Horn-E and Berts Special Friend for 14 hounds. It started snowing just as we started out on trail. White flour on trees works and it did. Even white TP in a prairie tied to tall weeds. What didn't work to well was the red marks on the ground as they soon got covered with fresh snow of about 1.5 inches. And so at the finish of laying trail, Berts Special Friend had to take off on trail and relay the red marks on the ground. But it worked. Our first Check was at the river and sure enough we got the whole pack heading south on a False where the trail usually went. This was the first time we headed north. Under I 90 and the Blue Line and we were into woods. Well, the usual character was soon up on a road and paralleling the pack following trail in the woods. If you aren't going to run in the woods, why are you out there. We soon ran by a cemetery and across Higgins and then east. Finally we entered the woods again and had out first beer stop. We found ourselves surrounded by water while laying the trail and figured why not. Since beer stops are Checks, let them find their way out of that mess. The Second one was up a tree and Khal Drunko The Turd played monkey getting it down. Then we were in a prairie for a Beer Stop in the middle of a Brier patch. Four had then really lost until TampOn TampOff finally crawled into a log to retrieve the beer. Five was a quick Beer Stop on the east side of East River Rd. Then they were racing back across the street to number six in the hollow of a tree. Seven was the nicest stop and about 12 hashers actually gathered after the beer was found and just hung around in the trees and out of the wind. What it is all about. The eighth beer stop was back near the start and down a hill. Everyone seemed to gather here and then head ON IN, We held a brief circle Big Dog style in a shelter, but the winds were blowing and it got cold. Pearl Vision was freezing the most. It was announced that we would head over to the usual bar in a high rise and unfortunately only four hounds followed the hares for the official On On On. But the food was good and many choices of beer to try.

On Sun, Jan 20, 2019, we had the Chicago Hash set by Dick Hermonica and Just Gurjit from Celtic Crown for 12 hounds. And besides myself eventually losing the pack, we almost also lost a visitor from Montreal, Just In The Ass. We also had one virgin, Just Ericka. Welcome. After a quick loop we headed west and over the river for a Check in a park at the base of a hill. I was way behind already and about to go left around the hill when I saw members of the pack to the right and over towards California. So I went that way, and found out we were on a Check and going no where. I finally found myself checking to the south on the right side of the hill when the trail was found on the left side of the hill. Damn. If I just kept going I would have been way in front without even knowing we were at that Check. Well, I could see some bright orange coats heading south and paralleled and soon saw the last of then disappearing in the distance. I couldn't find marks and ranged and was soon ON. No marks were swept, but I managed to guess correctly at all Splits and Checks until I hit Irving Park. Way behind, I decided to gamble and just head north on Lincoln and head for the usual park where we usually hold beer stops. I was about to quit and turned west only to see SnatchSquatch heading north and blowing his whistle. A block later I was entering the park and about 3rd or 4th to the beer stop. WTF. Sometimes you just get lucky. Back at the bar, Hooch B4 Cooch held circle and after circle, there was still plenty of beer left and we hung around socializing for a while.
Tales of the Trail: On Thu, Jan 10, 2019 we had a Thirstday Hash set by our outgoing GM, Menstrual Casserole from Miskas, a TH3 favorite. We  had 20 hounds on trail and were soon off and running. I left the Pied Piper in my dust in the first few blocks as we headed north and eventually to the east. Or course the rest of the pack left me in their dust just as fast. I managed to catch them at Addison and Lincoln where they were struggling at a Check. But it was soon found to the south and eventually south on Lincoln. Again they left me in their dust and at a left turn I went straight thinking I need to catch up. At Lincoln and Belmont, I found no Check. Damn. Am I lost again. I went one more block south on Ashland and there was Silent But Deadly flying by and soon followed by Khal Drunko the Turd. I followed and after briefly losing them I found about five hounds and the hare at a shot stop. I eventually moved on walking and eventually running and the pack was soon catching up and we all arrived at Damen and Diversey for a Check. After going off on a False Trail we were returning and I followed Silent But Deadly into the old projects. We ran into Lifa and Its Too Soft and they had a mark. We headed north and were soon on, but there was no one else in sight to call out to. Well, again I got left in the dust and came to a Check at Clybourn and they were gone. I headed east and was soon on marks, but again, no one in sight. The next Check was in a park and it was marked BN. Furry Spice was just arriving from another direction and we took off to the North and East. I got lucky and found a Split heading into an alley and I was soon off to the races. Furry Spice was soon right behind me as trail headed over to Damen and north on Damen across Belmont and into a little park. Furry Spice caught me just as I reached the beer. If you keep trying and pushing yourself and managed to get positioned at the last few Checks, even a lost in the dust old man like myself can manage to be FRB. Back at the bar we held a very long fun circle and sent off Menstrual casserole in style. We wish her well. Sat, Jan 19, 2019 was a Big Dog Hash, the Annual 8 Beer Stop Hash set at Catherine Chevalier Woods by Horn-E and Berts Special Friend for 14 hounds. It started snowing just as we started out on trail. White flour on trees works and it did. Even white TP in a prairie tied to tall weeds. What didn't work to well was the red marks on the ground as they soon got covered with fresh snow of about 1.5 inches. And so at the finish of laying trail, Berts Special Friend had to take off on trail and relay the red marks on the ground. But it worked. Our first Check was at the river and sure enough we got the whole pack heading south on a False where the trail usually went. This was the first time we headed north. Under I 90 and the Blue Line and we were into woods. Well, the usual character was soon up on a road and paralleling the pack following trail in the woods. If you aren't going to run in the woods, why are you out there. We soon ran by a cemetery and across Higgins and then east. Finally we entered the woods again and had out first beer stop. We found ourselves surrounded by water while laying the trail and figured why not. Since beer stops are Checks, let them find their way out of that mess. The Second one was up a tree and Khal Drunko The Turd played monkey getting it down. Then we were in a prairie for a Beer Stop in the middle of a Brier patch. Four had then really lost until TampOn TampOff finally crawled into a log to retrieve the beer. Five was a quick Beer Stop on the east side of East River Rd. Then they were racing back across the street to number six in the hollow of a tree. Seven was the nicest stop and about 12 hashers actually gathered after the beer was found and just hung around in the trees and out of the wind. What it is all about. The eighth beer stop was back near the start and down a hill. Everyone seemed to gather here and then head ON IN, We held a brief circle Big Dog style in a shelter, but the winds were blowing and it got cold. Pearl Vision was freezing the most. It was announced that we would head over to the usual bar in a high rise and unfortunately only four hounds followed the hares for the official On On On. But the food was good and many choices of beer to try. On Sun, Jan 20, 2019, we had the Chicago Hash set by Dick Hermonica and Just Gurjit from Celtic Crown for 12 hounds. And besides myself eventually losing the pack, we almost also lost a visitor from Montreal, Just In The Ass. We also had one virgin, Just Ericka. Welcome. After a quick loop we headed west and over the river for a Check in a park at the base of a hill. I was way behind already and about to go left around the hill when I saw members of the pack to the right and over towards California. So I went that way, and found out we were on a Check and going no where. I finally found myself checking to the south on the right side of the hill when the trail was found on the left side of the hill. Damn. If I just kept going I would have been way in front without even knowing we were at that Check. Well, I could see some bright orange coats heading south and paralleled and soon saw the last of then disappearing in the distance. I couldn't find marks and ranged and was soon ON. No marks were swept, but I managed to guess correctly at all Splits and Checks until I hit Irving Park. Way behind, I decided to gamble and just head north on Lincoln and head for the usual park where we usually hold beer stops. I was about to quit and turned west only to see SnatchSquatch heading north and blowing his whistle. A block later I was entering the park and about 3rd or 4th to the beer stop. WTF. Sometimes you just get lucky. Back at the bar, Hooch B4 Cooch held circle and after circle, there was still plenty of beer left and we hung around socializing for a while.
Tales of the Trail: On Thu, Jan 10, 2019 we had a Thirstday Hash set by our outgoing GM, Menstrual Casserole from Miskas, a TH3 favorite. We  had 20 hounds on trail and were soon off and running. I left the Pied Piper in my dust in the first few blocks as we headed north and eventually to the east. Or course the rest of the pack left me in their dust just as fast. I managed to catch them at Addison and Lincoln where they were struggling at a Check. But it was soon found to the south and eventually south on Lincoln. Again they left me in their dust and at a left turn I went straight thinking I need to catch up. At Lincoln and Belmont, I found no Check. Damn. Am I lost again. I went one more block south on Ashland and there was Silent But Deadly flying by and soon followed by Khal Drunko the Turd. I followed and after briefly losing them I found about five hounds and the hare at a shot stop. I eventually moved on walking and eventually running and the pack was soon catching up and we all arrived at Damen and Diversey for a Check. After going off on a False Trail we were returning and I followed Silent But Deadly into the old projects. We ran into Lifa and Its Too Soft and they had a mark. We headed north and were soon on, but there was no one else in sight to call out to. Well, again I got left in the dust and came to a Check at Clybourn and they were gone. I headed east and was soon on marks, but again, no one in sight. The next Check was in a park and it was marked BN. Furry Spice was just arriving from another direction and we took off to the North and East. I got lucky and found a Split heading into an alley and I was soon off to the races. Furry Spice was soon right behind me as trail headed over to Damen and north on Damen across Belmont and into a little park. Furry Spice caught me just as I reached the beer. If you keep trying and pushing yourself and managed to get positioned at the last few Checks, even a lost in the dust old man like myself can manage to be FRB. Back at the bar we held a very long fun circle and sent off Menstrual casserole in style. We wish her well. Sat, Jan 19, 2019 was a Big Dog Hash, the Annual 8 Beer Stop Hash set at Catherine Chevalier Woods by Horn-E and Berts Special Friend for 14 hounds. It started snowing just as we started out on trail. White flour on trees works and it did. Even white TP in a prairie tied to tall weeds. What didn't work to well was the red marks on the ground as they soon got covered with fresh snow of about 1.5 inches. And so at the finish of laying trail, Berts Special Friend had to take off on trail and relay the red marks on the ground. But it worked. Our first Check was at the river and sure enough we got the whole pack heading south on a False where the trail usually went. This was the first time we headed north. Under I 90 and the Blue Line and we were into woods. Well, the usual character was soon up on a road and paralleling the pack following trail in the woods. If you aren't going to run in the woods, why are you out there. We soon ran by a cemetery and across Higgins and then east. Finally we entered the woods again and had out first beer stop. We found ourselves surrounded by water while laying the trail and figured why not. Since beer stops are Checks, let them find their way out of that mess. The Second one was up a tree and Khal Drunko The Turd played monkey getting it down. Then we were in a prairie for a Beer Stop in the middle of a Brier patch. Four had then really lost until TampOn TampOff finally crawled into a log to retrieve the beer. Five was a quick Beer Stop on the east side of East River Rd. Then they were racing back across the street to number six in the hollow of a tree. Seven was the nicest stop and about 12 hashers actually gathered after the beer was found and just hung around in the trees and out of the wind. What it is all about. The eighth beer stop was back near the start and down a hill. Everyone seemed to gather here and then head ON IN, We held a brief circle Big Dog style in a shelter, but the winds were blowing and it got cold. Pearl Vision was freezing the most. It was announced that we would head over to the usual bar in a high rise and unfortunately only four hounds followed the hares for the official On On On. But the food was good and many choices of beer to try. On Sun, Jan 20, 2019, we had the Chicago Hash set by Dick Hermonica and Just Gurjit from Celtic Crown for 12 hounds. And besides myself eventually losing the pack, we almost also lost a visitor from Montreal, Just In The Ass. We also had one virgin, Just Ericka. Welcome. After a quick loop we headed west and over the river for a Check in a park at the base of a hill. I was way behind already and about to go left around the hill when I saw members of the pack to the right and over towards California. So I went that way, and found out we were on a Check and going no where. I finally found myself checking to the south on the right side of the hill when the trail was found on the left side of the hill. Damn. If I just kept going I would have been way in front without even knowing we were at that Check. Well, I could see some bright orange coats heading south and paralleled and soon saw the last of then disappearing in the distance. I couldn't find marks and ranged and was soon ON. No marks were swept, but I managed to guess correctly at all Splits and Checks until I hit Irving Park. Way behind, I decided to gamble and just head north on Lincoln and head for the usual park where we usually hold beer stops. I was about to quit and turned west only to see SnatchSquatch heading north and blowing his whistle. A block later I was entering the park and about 3rd or 4th to the beer stop. WTF. Sometimes you just get lucky. Back at the bar, Hooch B4 Cooch held circle and after circle, there was still plenty of beer left and we hung around socializing for a while. On Thu, Dec 20, Little Trojan Annie and W Jew 40 hared out of the corner bar for an A to B trail ending at her house for circle. She declared it a short fun hash with no running, unless you really needed to. Hooch B4 Cooch did. But we mainly walked on past several Christmas lights sites and Chicago's most decorated house with Christmas directions that blind the eyes. Back at her house we settled into a real laid back circle. We had 8 hounds on trail.

On Sat, Dec 22, Horn-E was a late stand in hare for the Chicago Full Moon Hash and ran out of the Map Room. Would there be any out of town visitors. No. Hell, I was lucky to get one local hound, Hooch B4 Cooch. But I gave him a twisting trail that took him about an hour and we had beer on the 606 as we walked along. And then good beer back at the bar.

Sun Dec 23 was a Roffie Ragu trail from the Old Irving Brewery ending across the street. This time we had nine hounds and a nice trail where we all managed to stay pretty close together, through many angled streets and such. Beer stop was just west of the finish in a small park along the expressway. Beer was PBR tall boys and we had plenty sitting around when the hare Excess money from regos will go to beere, but consider bringing your own stash of some to share. Eleft. When we finally finished that off, most of the pack crossed the street back to the brewery for grub.

Dec 26 was a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her and we only had 3 hounds on trail that included a visitor. But we managed to work our way through the course and Horn-E actually got in front for several blocks just before the finish. Back at the bar there were good beers to be had.

On Thu, Dec 27, Menstrual Casserole laid a GMs revenge Hash from Redmonds. We had 7 hounds on trail as she set a nice trail through the area. All right. Some bad marks here with colored straightline and wet pavement. We finally lost the trail on Lincoln Ave and Skull N Boner suddenly led us to her nearby house for an impromptu beer stop. We got on a phone and contacted the hare telling her we couldn't find the trail. She told us where to look and we ran on to a finish at her house. I fell behind and finally hit Sheffield and couldn't find another mark so I headed straight to the On In. Apparently I missed a bit of trail because some hounds came in after me. So there we sat/stood in her apartment with a large group of non r
HHHi HHHasherCheck calendar at  https://www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal s Check calendar at  https://www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal See my calendar at www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal aCheck calendar at  https://www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal nd my site at HHHinChicago.com. Visitors and new hashers (virgins), we start meeting at the listed times and start hashing a half hour later. Time for a quick beer.Anyone want off this list, email Horn-E at H3HornEH3 and it will be done.  This Week: I can't be held responsible for last minute changes. If you see something you might like to do, always verify at their web site for last minute changes or confirm with the hare. Thu. Jan. 10, 2019, 7:00pm, The Thirstday Hash. Menstrual Casserole, or glorious Grand Mattress is leaving ant this is her farewell hash. So come out and give her a great send off to the tune, F*** off you C***. We'll miss her. Now, who will take over. Is it a coup? Is it a G. M. appointment?. Will there be erections? Does anyone care. She is haring out of Miskas at Leavitt and Belmont. $10 Hash cash. ThirstdayH3.com Sat. Jan 12, 2018, 1:00pm, The Big Dog Hash, This is the 16th annual 8 Beer Stop Hash and Horn-E will hare with Berts Special Friend and maybe Son Of Spam out of the usual Catherine Chevalier Woods at East River Road and Bryn Mawr. For better directions, see our web site. After the hash we will hold a circle in the forest Preserve and then head over to the nearby highrises for more beer at Avalon. They also have good food. $6 Hash Cash.  bigdogh3.synthasite.com Sun. Jan 13, 2019, 2:00pm, The Chicago Hash. Deek Hermonica will hare out of Celtic Crown at 4301 N. Western. $10 Hash Cash ChicagoHash.com. Sat. Feb 16, 2019, The winter Campout Hash. Horn-E rented the same bunkhouse as last year at Camp Sullivan in Oak Forest. Register with Horn-E as soon as possible, please. Just $10. This is a pot luck hash. I'm bringing a large bowl of Chili. Plan on something to share and be willing to help on clean up, cooking, bringing party games, board games, card games. Excess rego will go to community beer, but think about bring some good beers and swap with others, Whatever. Will there be another midnight pajama Hash and of course a breakfast hash. Some belated Tales of the Trail. On Thu, Dec 20, Little Trojan Annie and W Jew 40 hared out of the corner bar for an A to B trail ending at her house for circle. She declared it a short fun hash with no running, unless you really needed to. Hooch B4 Cooch did. But we mainly walked on past several Christmas lights sites and Chicago's most decorated house with Christmas directions that blind the eyes. Back at her house we settled into a real laid back circle. We had 8 hounds on trail. On Sat, Dec 22, Horn-E was a late stand in hare for the Chicago Full Moon Hash and ran out of the Map Room. Would there be any out of town visitors. No. Hell, I was lucky to get one local hound, Hooch B4 Cooch. But I gave him a twisting trail that took him about an hour and we had beer on the 606 as we walked along. And then good beer back at the bar. Sun Dec 23 was a Roffie Ragu trail from the Old Irving Brewery ending across the street. This time we had nine hounds and a nice trail where we all managed to stay pretty close together, through many angled streets and such. Beer stop was just west of the finish in a small park along the expressway. Beer was PBR tall boys and we had plenty sitting around when the hare Excess money from regos will go to beere, but consider bringing your own stash of some to share. Eleft. When we finally finished that off, most of the pack crossed the street back to the brewery for grub. Dec 26 was a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her and we only had 3 hounds on trail that included a visitor. But we managed to work our way through the course and Horn-E actually got in front for several blocks just before the finish. Back at the bar there were good beers to be had. On Thu, Dec 27, Menstrual Casserole laid a GMs revenge Hash from Redmonds. We had 7 hounds on trail as she set a nice trail through the area. All right. Some bad marks here with colored straightline and wet pavement. We finally lost the trail on Lincoln Ave and Skull N Boner suddenly led us to her nearby house for an impromptu beer stop. We got on a phone and contacted the hare telling her we couldn't find the trail. She told us where to look and we ran on to a finish at her house. I fell behind and finally hit Sheffield and couldn't find another mark so I headed straight to the On In. Apparently I missed a bit of trail because some hounds came in after me. So there we sat/stood in her apartment with a large group of non runners and held a easy going circle. On Dec 29, there was a Rag Time Hash set by SnatchSquatch. No details. We're finally coming to the last trail of the year on Sun Dec 30, a Chicago H3 hash set by False Advertising and three virgins, Just Travis, Just Eric and Just Mark. We were at Parrots. We finally had a decent turnout. Sort of. Well, at least double figures on trail. 12 hounds. Trail worked its way east and a bit south to Lincoln Park, just south of Diversey where we then went in a big loop further to the south before leaving the park and heading into city streets. Suddenly we're heading right back to the bar and I'm in the rear with three others. But we can't go straight back so as I ranged the trail almost went straight back and into a little hidden street for a shot stop. I didn't stop and headed west on trail and eventually the pack started to catch me and slowly pass me until I ended up following and eventually losing the pack on a big loop around to the north and eventually that same spot for a beer stop. By then I went back to the bar. And there we had a great circle. On Jan 1, 2019, False Advertising set a trail from Twisted Spoke. They had four hounds and started out with something like a back Check 40, back to the bar for a quick shot stop. Then they ran on for a beer stop. Then on Thu Jan 3. we had a TH3 Hash from Roses set by Lifa. I just got there in time and was quickly following the pack as they slowly left me behind. But I caught them on Halsted at a Check they had trouble with. Didn't help me much. As I exited an alley they were already out of sight. I managed to get to the Check at Diversey and Clark and headed south. The trail went north and east. Meanwhile I kept ranging to the south and east and eventually found marks just before entering the park at the tunnel. And there was a Check. It wasn't marked, because as it turns out, I'm first there. I put faith in Lifa to take us on into the park. Half way around the lagoon and the pack arrives at the park and quickly finds trail to the south and west and the hell with the park. Damn. Well, I returned and they were gone and I ran and ranged on and finally came up behind Happy Ass Grabber as he crossed Sheffield, a few blocks before the beer stop. Back at the bar we held a rather laid back circle. Fri, Jan 4 was the 22nd annual winter Moon Hash set by Lower Wackoff from the Gladstone Lounge. Off to his usual tricks I found 7 False trails in the first three checks. Meanwhile Lifa was way ahead. We finally entered the Forest Preserve by the bridge over the tracks. I was running second and saw Lifa across the tracks. I yelled R U but he didn't hear. After crossing the tracks I found an arrow. Into deep shiggy. A False trail. Damn. I then back tracked and found the Check at the foot of the bridge. So I headed along the path and found another False. Damn, this is getting consistent. I think this is where the other runners, Mudsucker, Bloody Thighs and German Dungeon Porn found Lifa and headed into the woods and over to the tracks and long gone. I later found where they went into the woods, but never another mark. I found myself wandering in deep woods, surrounded by water, shiggy, briers and impassable sections before finally emerging about 45 minutes later. I was now by the trestle and crossed the tracks to find some marks. Back on trail. But I took the higher levels and wandered around the picnic shelter where they had a Check. They were long gone. I then headed out of the woods and suddenly there was an arrow, pointing over the bridge. Meanwhile, three hounds were just over Central near the river, about a hundred feet away, at the beer stop. But the arrow pointed across the foot bridge over the river and I followed on. Across the river there was a Check and two arrows there. One in twigs pointing north. Later we learned that Lifa followed that north to Devon and across the river to the west, About 72 miles off course. I was smarter. Yeah sure. I followed the arrow pointing straight west into the Golf Course. Found two. Then I ranged On and On until I crossed the river. No marks so I finally said this trail is over for me. So I headed for civilization and the local fence around the forest preserve. The holes were repaired. I tried about five separate places to get over before I finally tried to climb way up on a gate and squeeze between the two sections. Almost lost my nuts in the process and the local squirrels were watching and hoping. From here, I knew the general direction of the bar and followed the most colorful direction with Christmas light almost the whole way. Back at the bar I found Lifa and soon the rest arrived. And all was good. This wasn't a straight run or race for anyone. Myself, it was a good adventure as more hashes should be. I had fun. We ordered pizzas and sat around with an easy going circle and telling our tall tales. Sun was tha anal Just Justs Hash set by Son Of Spam, Berts Special Friend and Crotch Fire. They had eleven hounds on trail. I missed it because this old man is getting senile and forgot his bus pass. So I just went to the On In and the home of Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her where the pack had just arrived as I got there. Meat Inside Her was warming up several pizzas and putting out other snacks and we held an on and off again circle during commercials for the foot ball game. Good time. On On Horn-E
unners and held a easy going circle.

On Dec 29, there was a Rag Time Hash set by SnatchSquatch. No details.

We're finally coming to the last trail of the year on Sun Dec 30, a Chicago H3 hash set by False Advertising and three virgins, Just Travis, Just Eric and Just Mark. We were at Parrots. We finally had a decent turnout. Sort of. Well, at least double figures on trail. 12 hounds. Trail worked its way east and a bit south to Lincoln Park, just south of Diversey where we then went in a big loop further to the south before leaving the park and heading into city streets. Suddenly we're heading right back to the bar and I'm in the rear with three others. But we can't go straight back so as I ranged the trail almost went straight back and into a little hidden street for a shot stop. I didn't stop and headed west on trail and eventually the pack started to catch me and slowly pass me until I ended up following and eventually losing the pack on a big loop around to the north and eventually that same spot for a beer stop. By then I went back to the bar. And there we had a great circle.

On Jan 1, 2019, False Advertising set a trail from Twisted Spoke. They had four hounds and started out with something like a back Check 40, back to the bar for a quick shot stop. Then they ran on for a beer stop.

Then on Thu Jan 3. we had a TH3 Hash from Roses set by Lifa. I just got there in time and was quickly following the pack as they slowly left me behind. But I caught them on Halsted at a Check they had trouble with. Didn't help me much. As I exited an alley they were already out of sight. I managed to get to the Check at Diversey and Clark and headed south. The trail went north and east. Meanwhile I kept ranging to the south and east and eventually found marks just before entering the park at the tunnel. And there was a Check. It wasn't marked, because as it turns out, I'm first there. I put faith in Lifa to take us on into the park. Half way around the lagoon and the pack arrives at the park and quickly finds trail to the south and west and the hell with the park. Damn. Well, I returned and they were gone and I ran and ranged on and finally came up behind Happy Ass Grabber as he crossed Sheffield, a few blocks before the beer stop. Back at the bar we held a rather laid back circle.

Fri, Jan 4 was the 22nd annual winter Moon Hash set by Lower Wackoff from the Gladstone Lounge. Off to his usual tricks I found 7 False trails in the first three checks. Meanwhile Lifa was way ahead. We finally entered the Forest Preserve by the bridge over the tracks. I was running second and saw Lifa across the tracks. I yelled R U but he didn't hear. After crossing the tracks I found an arrow. Into deep shiggy. A False trail. Damn. I then back tracked and found the Check at the foot of the bridge. So I headed along the path and found another False. Damn, this is getting consistent. I think this is where the other runners, Mudsucker, Bloody Thighs and German Dungeon Porn found Lifa and headed into the woods and over to the tracks and long gone. I later found where they went into the woods, but never another mark. I found myself wandering in deep woods, surrounded by water, shiggy, briers and impassable sections before finally emerging about 45 minutes later. I was now by the trestle and crossed the tracks to find some marks. Back on trail. But I took the higher levels and wandered around the picnic shelter where they had a Check. They were long gone. I then headed out of the woods and suddenly there was an arrow, pointing over the bridge. Meanwhile, three hounds were just over Central near the river, about a hundred feet away, at the beer stop. But the arrow pointed across the foot bridge over the river and I followed on. Across the river there was a Check and two arrows there. One in twigs pointing north. Later we learned that Lifa followed that north to Devon and across the river to the west, About 72 miles off course. I was smarter. Yeah sure. I followed the arrow pointing straight west into the Golf Course. Found two. Then I ranged On and On until I crossed the river. No marks so I finally said this trail is over for me. So I headed for civilization and the local fence around the forest preserve. The holes were repaired. I tried about five separate places to get over before I finally tried to climb way up on a gate and squeeze between the two sections. Almost lost my nuts in the process and the local squirrels were watching and hoping. From here, I knew the general direction of the bar and followed the most colorful direction with Christmas light almost the whole way. Back at the bar I found Lifa and soon the rest arrived. And all was good. This wasn't a straight run or race for anyone. Myself, it was a good adventure as more hashes should be. I had fun. We ordered pizzas and sat around with an easy going circle and telling our tall tales.

Sun was tha anal Just Justs Hash set by Son Of Spam, Berts Special Friend and Crotch Fire. They had eleven hounds on trail. I missed it because this old man is getting senile and forgot his bus pass. So I just went to the On In and the home of Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her where the pack had just arrived as I got there. Meat Inside Her was warming up several pizzas and putting out other snacks and we held an on and off again circle during commercials for the foot ball game. Good time.

On Thu, Dec 20, Little Trojan Annie and W Jew 40 hared out of the corner bar for an A to B trail ending at her house for circle. She declared it a short fun hash with no running, unless you really needed to. Hooch B4 Cooch did. But we mainly walked on past several Christmas lights sites and Chicago's most decorated house with Christmas directions that blind the eyes. Back at her house we settled into a real laid back circle. We had 8 hounds on trail. On Sat, Dec 22, Horn-E was a late stand in hare for the Chicago Full Moon Hash and ran out of the Map Room. Would there be any out of town visitors. No. Hell, I was lucky to get one local hound, Hooch B4 Cooch. But I gave him a twisting trail that took him about an hour and we had beer on the 606 as we walked along. And then good beer back at the bar. Sun Dec 23 was a Roffie Ragu trail from the Old Irving Brewery ending across the street. This time we had nine hounds and a nice trail where we all managed to stay pretty close together, through many angled streets and such. Beer stop was just west of the finish in a small park along the expressway. Beer was PBR tall boys and we had plenty sitting around when the hare Excess money from regos will go to beere, but consider bringing your own stash of some to share. Eleft. When we finally finished that off, most of the pack crossed the street back to the brewery for grub. Dec 26 was a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her and we only had 3 hounds on trail that included a visitor. But we managed to work our way through the course and Horn-E actually got in front for several blocks just before the finish. Back at the bar there were good beers to be had. On Thu, Dec 27, Menstrual Casserole laid a GMs revenge Hash from Redmonds. We had 7 hounds on trail as she set a nice trail through the area. All right. Some bad marks here with colored straightline and wet pavement. We finally lost the trail on Lincoln Ave and Skull N Boner suddenly led us to her nearby house for an impromptu beer stop. We got on a phone and contacted the hare telling her we couldn't find the trail. She told us where to look and we ran on to a finish at her house. I fell behind and finally hit Sheffield and couldn't find another mark so I headed straight to the On In. Apparently I missed a bit of trail because some hounds came in after me. So there we sat/stood in her apartment with a large group of non r HHHi HHHasherCheck calendar at  https://www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal s Check calendar at  https://www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal See my calendar at www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal aCheck calendar at  https://www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal nd my site at HHHinChicago.com. Visitors and new hashers (virgins), we start meeting at the listed times and start hashing a half hour later. Time for a quick beer.Anyone want off this list, email Horn-E at H3HornEH3 and it will be done.  This Week: I can't be held responsible for last minute changes. If you see something you might like to do, always verify at their web site for last minute changes or confirm with the hare. Thu. Jan. 10, 2019, 7:00pm, The Thirstday Hash. Menstrual Casserole, or glorious Grand Mattress is leaving ant this is her farewell hash. So come out and give her a great send off to the tune, F*** off you C***. We'll miss her. Now, who will take over. Is it a coup? Is it a G. M. appointment?. Will there be erections? Does anyone care. She is haring out of Miskas at Leavitt and Belmont. $10 Hash cash. ThirstdayH3.com Sat. Jan 12, 2018, 1:00pm, The Big Dog Hash, This is the 16th annual 8 Beer Stop Hash and Horn-E will hare with Berts Special Friend and maybe Son Of Spam out of the usual Catherine Chevalier Woods at East River Road and Bryn Mawr. For better directions, see our web site. After the hash we will hold a circle in the forest Preserve and then head over to the nearby highrises for more beer at Avalon. They also have good food. $6 Hash Cash.  bigdogh3.synthasite.com Sun. Jan 13, 2019, 2:00pm, The Chicago Hash. Deek Hermonica will hare out of Celtic Crown at 4301 N. Western. $10 Hash Cash ChicagoHash.com. Sat. Feb 16, 2019, The winter Campout Hash. Horn-E rented the same bunkhouse as last year at Camp Sullivan in Oak Forest. Register with Horn-E as soon as possible, please. Just $10. This is a pot luck hash. I'm bringing a large bowl of Chili. Plan on something to share and be willing to help on clean up, cooking, bringing party games, board games, card games. Excess rego will go to community beer, but think about bring some good beers and swap with others, Whatever. Will there be another midnight pajama Hash and of course a breakfast hash. Some belated Tales of the Trail. On Thu, Dec 20, Little Trojan Annie and W Jew 40 hared out of the corner bar for an A to B trail ending at her house for circle. She declared it a short fun hash with no running, unless you really needed to. Hooch B4 Cooch did. But we mainly walked on past several Christmas lights sites and Chicago's most decorated house with Christmas directions that blind the eyes. Back at her house we settled into a real laid back circle. We had 8 hounds on trail. On Sat, Dec 22, Horn-E was a late stand in hare for the Chicago Full Moon Hash and ran out of the Map Room. Would there be any out of town visitors. No. Hell, I was lucky to get one local hound, Hooch B4 Cooch. But I gave him a twisting trail that took him about an hour and we had beer on the 606 as we walked along. And then good beer back at the bar. Sun Dec 23 was a Roffie Ragu trail from the Old Irving Brewery ending across the street. This time we had nine hounds and a nice trail where we all managed to stay pretty close together, through many angled streets and such. Beer stop was just west of the finish in a small park along the expressway. Beer was PBR tall boys and we had plenty sitting around when the hare Excess money from regos will go to beere, but consider bringing your own stash of some to share. Eleft. When we finally finished that off, most of the pack crossed the street back to the brewery for grub. Dec 26 was a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her and we only had 3 hounds on trail that included a visitor. But we managed to work our way through the course and Horn-E actually got in front for several blocks just before the finish. Back at the bar there were good beers to be had. On Thu, Dec 27, Menstrual Casserole laid a GMs revenge Hash from Redmonds. We had 7 hounds on trail as she set a nice trail through the area. All right. Some bad marks here with colored straightline and wet pavement. We finally lost the trail on Lincoln Ave and Skull N Boner suddenly led us to her nearby house for an impromptu beer stop. We got on a phone and contacted the hare telling her we couldn't find the trail. She told us where to look and we ran on to a finish at her house. I fell behind and finally hit Sheffield and couldn't find another mark so I headed straight to the On In. Apparently I missed a bit of trail because some hounds came in after me. So there we sat/stood in her apartment with a large group of non runners and held a easy going circle. On Dec 29, there was a Rag Time Hash set by SnatchSquatch. No details. We're finally coming to the last trail of the year on Sun Dec 30, a Chicago H3 hash set by False Advertising and three virgins, Just Travis, Just Eric and Just Mark. We were at Parrots. We finally had a decent turnout. Sort of. Well, at least double figures on trail. 12 hounds. Trail worked its way east and a bit south to Lincoln Park, just south of Diversey where we then went in a big loop further to the south before leaving the park and heading into city streets. Suddenly we're heading right back to the bar and I'm in the rear with three others. But we can't go straight back so as I ranged the trail almost went straight back and into a little hidden street for a shot stop. I didn't stop and headed west on trail and eventually the pack started to catch me and slowly pass me until I ended up following and eventually losing the pack on a big loop around to the north and eventually that same spot for a beer stop. By then I went back to the bar. And there we had a great circle. On Jan 1, 2019, False Advertising set a trail from Twisted Spoke. They had four hounds and started out with something like a back Check 40, back to the bar for a quick shot stop. Then they ran on for a beer stop. Then on Thu Jan 3. we had a TH3 Hash from Roses set by Lifa. I just got there in time and was quickly following the pack as they slowly left me behind. But I caught them on Halsted at a Check they had trouble with. Didn't help me much. As I exited an alley they were already out of sight. I managed to get to the Check at Diversey and Clark and headed south. The trail went north and east. Meanwhile I kept ranging to the south and east and eventually found marks just before entering the park at the tunnel. And there was a Check. It wasn't marked, because as it turns out, I'm first there. I put faith in Lifa to take us on into the park. Half way around the lagoon and the pack arrives at the park and quickly finds trail to the south and west and the hell with the park. Damn. Well, I returned and they were gone and I ran and ranged on and finally came up behind Happy Ass Grabber as he crossed Sheffield, a few blocks before the beer stop. Back at the bar we held a rather laid back circle. Fri, Jan 4 was the 22nd annual winter Moon Hash set by Lower Wackoff from the Gladstone Lounge. Off to his usual tricks I found 7 False trails in the first three checks. Meanwhile Lifa was way ahead. We finally entered the Forest Preserve by the bridge over the tracks. I was running second and saw Lifa across the tracks. I yelled R U but he didn't hear. After crossing the tracks I found an arrow. Into deep shiggy. A False trail. Damn. I then back tracked and found the Check at the foot of the bridge. So I headed along the path and found another False. Damn, this is getting consistent. I think this is where the other runners, Mudsucker, Bloody Thighs and German Dungeon Porn found Lifa and headed into the woods and over to the tracks and long gone. I later found where they went into the woods, but never another mark. I found myself wandering in deep woods, surrounded by water, shiggy, briers and impassable sections before finally emerging about 45 minutes later. I was now by the trestle and crossed the tracks to find some marks. Back on trail. But I took the higher levels and wandered around the picnic shelter where they had a Check. They were long gone. I then headed out of the woods and suddenly there was an arrow, pointing over the bridge. Meanwhile, three hounds were just over Central near the river, about a hundred feet away, at the beer stop. But the arrow pointed across the foot bridge over the river and I followed on. Across the river there was a Check and two arrows there. One in twigs pointing north. Later we learned that Lifa followed that north to Devon and across the river to the west, About 72 miles off course. I was smarter. Yeah sure. I followed the arrow pointing straight west into the Golf Course. Found two. Then I ranged On and On until I crossed the river. No marks so I finally said this trail is over for me. So I headed for civilization and the local fence around the forest preserve. The holes were repaired. I tried about five separate places to get over before I finally tried to climb way up on a gate and squeeze between the two sections. Almost lost my nuts in the process and the local squirrels were watching and hoping. From here, I knew the general direction of the bar and followed the most colorful direction with Christmas light almost the whole way. Back at the bar I found Lifa and soon the rest arrived. And all was good. This wasn't a straight run or race for anyone. Myself, it was a good adventure as more hashes should be. I had fun. We ordered pizzas and sat around with an easy going circle and telling our tall tales. Sun was tha anal Just Justs Hash set by Son Of Spam, Berts Special Friend and Crotch Fire. They had eleven hounds on trail. I missed it because this old man is getting senile and forgot his bus pass. So I just went to the On In and the home of Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her where the pack had just arrived as I got there. Meat Inside Her was warming up several pizzas and putting out other snacks and we held an on and off again circle during commercials for the foot ball game. Good time. On On Horn-E unners and held a easy going circle. On Dec 29, there was a Rag Time Hash set by SnatchSquatch. No details. We're finally coming to the last trail of the year on Sun Dec 30, a Chicago H3 hash set by False Advertising and three virgins, Just Travis, Just Eric and Just Mark. We were at Parrots. We finally had a decent turnout. Sort of. Well, at least double figures on trail. 12 hounds. Trail worked its way east and a bit south to Lincoln Park, just south of Diversey where we then went in a big loop further to the south before leaving the park and heading into city streets. Suddenly we're heading right back to the bar and I'm in the rear with three others. But we can't go straight back so as I ranged the trail almost went straight back and into a little hidden street for a shot stop. I didn't stop and headed west on trail and eventually the pack started to catch me and slowly pass me until I ended up following and eventually losing the pack on a big loop around to the north and eventually that same spot for a beer stop. By then I went back to the bar. And there we had a great circle. On Jan 1, 2019, False Advertising set a trail from Twisted Spoke. They had four hounds and started out with something like a back Check 40, back to the bar for a quick shot stop. Then they ran on for a beer stop. Then on Thu Jan 3. we had a TH3 Hash from Roses set by Lifa. I just got there in time and was quickly following the pack as they slowly left me behind. But I caught them on Halsted at a Check they had trouble with. Didn't help me much. As I exited an alley they were already out of sight. I managed to get to the Check at Diversey and Clark and headed south. The trail went north and east. Meanwhile I kept ranging to the south and east and eventually found marks just before entering the park at the tunnel. And there was a Check. It wasn't marked, because as it turns out, I'm first there. I put faith in Lifa to take us on into the park. Half way around the lagoon and the pack arrives at the park and quickly finds trail to the south and west and the hell with the park. Damn. Well, I returned and they were gone and I ran and ranged on and finally came up behind Happy Ass Grabber as he crossed Sheffield, a few blocks before the beer stop. Back at the bar we held a rather laid back circle. Fri, Jan 4 was the 22nd annual winter Moon Hash set by Lower Wackoff from the Gladstone Lounge. Off to his usual tricks I found 7 False trails in the first three checks. Meanwhile Lifa was way ahead. We finally entered the Forest Preserve by the bridge over the tracks. I was running second and saw Lifa across the tracks. I yelled R U but he didn't hear. After crossing the tracks I found an arrow. Into deep shiggy. A False trail. Damn. I then back tracked and found the Check at the foot of the bridge. So I headed along the path and found another False. Damn, this is getting consistent. I think this is where the other runners, Mudsucker, Bloody Thighs and German Dungeon Porn found Lifa and headed into the woods and over to the tracks and long gone. I later found where they went into the woods, but never another mark. I found myself wandering in deep woods, surrounded by water, shiggy, briers and impassable sections before finally emerging about 45 minutes later. I was now by the trestle and crossed the tracks to find some marks. Back on trail. But I took the higher levels and wandered around the picnic shelter where they had a Check. They were long gone. I then headed out of the woods and suddenly there was an arrow, pointing over the bridge. Meanwhile, three hounds were just over Central near the river, about a hundred feet away, at the beer stop. But the arrow pointed across the foot bridge over the river and I followed on. Across the river there was a Check and two arrows there. One in twigs pointing north. Later we learned that Lifa followed that north to Devon and across the river to the west, About 72 miles off course. I was smarter. Yeah sure. I followed the arrow pointing straight west into the Golf Course. Found two. Then I ranged On and On until I crossed the river. No marks so I finally said this trail is over for me. So I headed for civilization and the local fence around the forest preserve. The holes were repaired. I tried about five separate places to get over before I finally tried to climb way up on a gate and squeeze between the two sections. Almost lost my nuts in the process and the local squirrels were watching and hoping. From here, I knew the general direction of the bar and followed the most colorful direction with Christmas light almost the whole way. Back at the bar I found Lifa and soon the rest arrived. And all was good. This wasn't a straight run or race for anyone. Myself, it was a good adventure as more hashes should be. I had fun. We ordered pizzas and sat around with an easy going circle and telling our tall tales. Sun was tha anal Just Justs Hash set by Son Of Spam, Berts Special Friend and Crotch Fire. They had eleven hounds on trail. I missed it because this old man is getting senile and forgot his bus pass. So I just went to the On In and the home of Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her where the pack had just arrived as I got there. Meat Inside Her was warming up several pizzas and putting out other snacks and we held an on and off again circle during commercials for the foot ball game. Good time.

On Thu. 13 Dec 2018, we had a Thirstday Hash out of Lotties by Hooch B4 Cooch and Silent But Deadly and it rained. But that didn't stop about 40 or 50 hashers from running trail. What happened to the single digits we've been getting lately? Oh, yeah. visitors for the Anthrax Hash. Trail looked good as far as I could see as I fell behind with a few others. Eventually the green powder marks disappeared. Back at the bar we were in the basement party room and we held a very loud circle and then partied on into the night.

Then on Fri night, 14 Dec 2018,  Lifa and Berts Special Friend laid trail from Redmonds for the opening of the Anthrax Weekend and about 60 hounds took off on a very fast and well laid trail. One shot stop and one beer stop and eventually a circle on Its Too Soft's roof deck with a smoky warming fire and chaos as usual. Then we moved on to the bar and partied on into the night.

Sat 15 Dec 2018, was the anal Anthrax Hash with about four trails for almost 200 hashers besides those that never leave camp. Wooses. Then food and a never ending circle and partying into the night. Well done, Chicago Hash.

Sat 15 Dec, 2018. For those last minute arrivals and those in Chicago who wanted a more laid back hashing time, there was the only other hash in town for under $125. Yes, The Bushman Hash set as usual on the third Sat of every month by Horn-E and out of Caldwell Woods. We had four hounds, The Gas Stop Bob, Or G, R-Tard-E and Lower Wackoff. A nice run through the woods, wet lands and grass lands with hardly any injuries. We ended up with German, Chech, and Danish beer over looking the river through the woods. Then we retired to the home of Lower Wackoff for our annual Christmad party. (Maybe a gift exchange next year). We had some good grub and snacks and beer and were joined by 6 non runners for a nice laid back party.

On Sunday16 Dec, 2018,  the Anthrax hangover hash was run out of Roscoes with hares Rusty Grundel and Dr. Cockvorkain setting trail. I'm sure there were a lot of visitors still around for a long trail and long fair well circle and beer on on and on on.



On Thu. we had a Thirstday Hash out of Lotties by Hooch B4 Cooch and Silent But Deadly and it rained. But that didn't stop about 40 or 50 hashers from running trail. What happened to the single digits we've been getting lately? Oh, yeah. visitors for the Anthrax Hash. Trail looked good as far as I could see as I fell behind with a few others. Eventually the green powder marks disappeared. Back at the bar we were in the basement party room and we held a very loud circle and then partied on into the night. Then on Fri night, Lifa and Berts Special Friend laid trail from Redmonds for the opening of the Anthrax Weekend and about 60 hounds took off on a very fast and well laid trail. One shot stop and one beer stop and eventually a circle on Its Too Soft's roof deck with a smoky warming fire and chaos as usual. Then we moved on to the bar and partied on into the night. Sat was the anal Anthrax Hash with about four trails for almost 200 hashers besides those that never leave camp. Wooses. Then food and a never ending circle and partying into the night. Well done, Chicago Hash. For those last minute arrivals and those in Chicago who wanted a more laid back hashing time, there was the only other hash in town for under $125. Yes, The Bushman Hash set as usual on the third Sat of every month by Horn-E and out of Caldwell Woods. We had four hounds, The Gas Stop Bob, Or G, R-Tard-E and Lower Wackoff. A nice run through the woods, wet lands and grass lands with hardly any injuries. We ended up with German, Chech, and Danish beer over looking the river through the woods. Then we retired to the home of Lower Wackoff for our annual Christmad party. (Maybe a gift exchange next year). We had some good grub and snacks and beer and were joined by 6 non runners for a nice laid back party. On Sunday the Anthrax hangover hash was run out of Roscoes with hares Rusty Grundel and Dr. Cockvorkain setting trail. I'm sure there were a lot of visitors still around for a long trail and long fair well circle and beer on on and on on.
On Thu, 6 Dec 2018, Silent But Deadly laid trail for TH3 from Rite Liquors on an A to B trail. I heard there were about 8 hounds on trail which is about double what we have been averaging lately. That is a step in the right direction. The trail ended up at the Feather Palace.

Fri 7 Dec 2018, saw the Son Of Spam laying trail from the Diversey River Bowl for the First Crack Of The Moon Hash. Well, we were back to the low numbers for this devious trail of only four hounds, Horn-E, Lifa, Whiskey Dick Up, and J David. The trail ended up behind the local strip mall where security came by and scared away the pack with their open beers. But inside we got a couple of tubes and pitchers of beer and with some late arriving friends, we started Cosmic Bowling. We had a total of seven bowlers including one bowler showing us his trick bowling. He actually got one strike bowling between his legs. Of course that went along with about a half dozen gutter balls. We weren't good that night. But Horn-E managed to come in second just two pins better then Son Of Spam. Or was that two pins less bad.

On Sat, 8 Dec 2018, we had another hash with only four hounds on trail for the Big Dogs Hash out of Thatcher Woods set by Lower Wackoff. Good trail and this late arriving hound managed to get through trail just as False Advertising got to the Beer Stop. All woods on a beautiful day and the trail was just mischievous enough that the hare got lost on his own trail while sweeping and only falling once. Others on trail were Lifa and Crotch Fire. Yeah, another day of only four on trail. What is happening out there. Lets hash. After we headed over to the Crystal Palace of Zone 2 and False Advertising where Lower Wackoff provided some good sausages and hot dogs and Zone 2 had a warm drink waiting for us.

Sun 9 Dec 2018, was a Chicago Hash set from On Tour Brewery by False Advertising. I got there late and headed off on a short trail that was later extended to about four miles. Wow, a turnout of double figures. Is summer here already. I eventually found a pack of hounds at Chicago and Ashland and a few blocks later we were at the Beer Stop, but no beer. Well, we soon resolved that. We also had one new virgin, Just Mark. After we had a long walk back to the brewery where a hash party was in progress and soon winding down. It was a farewell party for O'Shitty Runch and Foamy Discharge. They are moving to silicon valley and the state of California, about the  only state in the union that might be worse then Illinois with worse taxes. If you are bailing out of Illinois, shouldn't you at least try to go to a better place? Just asking. Come back and visit us often.  Oh, by the way, the brewery had some damn good beers.

On Thu 29 Nov, 2018, there was a trail set by Its Too Soft for TH3 at Beaumonts. There was an awesome turnout of 5 Hounds bringing the average of the last three hashes to 4 hounds on trail. WOW. We headed out to the west on Armitage and I already lost track of the two FRBs, Eat My Pussy and Gay Dancer. And Famming Flaggott was behind me. I missed trail at two turns on one corner and already had four extra blocks to my credit before I got back on trail. At about this point I was joined by the late arriving visitor, Stain Gretsky from DC. She went to Dugans as previously posted and later changed. This is the reason that me must always avoid late minute changes and hopefully, if necessary, go to the nearest alternate possibility. Anyway, we ran on together, or at least she led, as we moved along. The next Split had us going the wrong way and upon returning, we went one block north and missed the Check as some damn statue instead of the corner. With no marks on the corner, we ranged west and found two marks and then nothing. About five extra blocks of ranging we returned and then I figured we might be on a Check. So we Split up and I found the trail through De Paul. From here on it was mostly predictable with a few missing marks before the trail settled in. And then naturally I went lame. Damn hand me down shoes. So I fell behind and Stain Gretsky ran on alone until she couldn't find a Check on North Ave. She finally ran on in to the bar. Meanwhile I ranged and found the beer stop at the hill in Oz Park. But no beer. So I went back to the bar and enjoyed Happy Hour $2 Craft Beers.

There was a Sun Hash 2 Dec 2018, for CH3, set by SnatchSquatch at Burkes Web Pub, but I missed it.

On Wed, 28 Nov. 2018, Horn-E laid a trail for Whiskey Wednesday Hash from Barrelman. We actually had one more hound then CH3 last Sunday. Are we growing or are they shrinking. Conditions weren't the best for laying trail. Unshoveled sidewalks, icy streets and sidewalks and occasionally lousy terrain for laying marks in messy snow and no lights. But I got it done with red colored flour and white drywall. Then I had to wait and see how they would manage the trail. And as I gave chalk talk, the first flurries of snow started. DAMN. And it snowed for the next 75 minutes and managed to cover the marks. But everyone somehow managed to find trail up to the second last turn mark leading to the Whiskey Stop. And I was standing in the snow for over a half hour waiting for them and only Eat My Pussy was the only one to make it. But eventually we all got back to the bar and had a few drinks. 

On Wed, 21 Nov. 2018, Gay Dancer laid a great trail for the Chicago Full Moon Hash. Maybe. I fu*ked up and missed it. Yes again. We ran out of Bar Atlantic and we had a great turnout. The Foam Queen, Berts Special Friend, Meat Inside Her, Silent But Deadly, and Horn-E. We decided to cancel the planned karaoke at the end of the trail due to a small turnout. Trail took off to the north and a quick Triple Split. I went the wrong way and never saw anyone again. Got back on trail and a few marks later there was another Split, north and south. Unmarked so I picked north because the finish was supposed to be north. About 4 miles later I finally returned to the bar and everyone was there waiting for me. Damn. We held a short laid back circle and headed out into the night.

On Nov 22, 2018, there was supposed to be a Thirstday Hash but I'm not sure where, But I heard that about 8 showed so those that showed didn't have to spend Thanksgiving alone. Thanks for the hare getting it done.  Then on Sat there was a Rag Time Hash set by Ritilan Cum Bubble from his house. I assume it went off well. Sun was the regular Chicago Hash from Beaumonts set by Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd. When I got there, there was a message on the ground about change of location. The bar was closed. Well I got to the new location in time to be greeted by a huge crowd of two other hounds, So it would be just the three of us, Silent But Deadly, Deek Hermonica and Horn-E. That could be the smallest Chicago Hash I've ever seen. But we headed out following yellow chalk marks and after a bad start, the marks were good despite the wet ground. Nice trail from what I saw. Yeah, again I got off trail. Going down an alley south of North, heading north after a Triple Split a block south and I was off trail. So I exited the alley and attempted to parallel the other two. First street and there they were. Second street, no one in sight, Several blocks later I circled back to where they were last seen and found out why I missed them. They kept going after that first street, but found no marks, Returning they saw a hidden mark heading north towards North Ave, where i was, but no longer am. Damn. So, now I'm back on trail and about five or six blocks behind. I crossed North and found a Split. Looking west I saw a sign that said, Do Not Enter. So naturally I thought the trail went that way. A block later I emerged from that tiny street to see a mark heading west. so naturally I followed it. It was a False from a Check I missed. Now I'm about ten blocks behind. So from the Check I headed north and I was On. Until I was off. A turn arrow  to the east. They are long gone. Actually a block away, they were at a shot stop. So, knowing where the B was, I just headed over there, thinking Silent But Deadly would be there dancing around in the cold, pissed off waiting for Horn-E again. Instead I found the hares and the beer in Oz Park. And there we waited. The trail went over to the Zoo and around that lagoon just south of the Zoo. There the other two got split up at a Five Way Split. Meanwhile we were getting colder and eventually after about 15 minutes, Deek Hermonica came walking on in. Another ten minutes later Silent But Deadly showed up with a cup of hot chocolate. So, trying to keep her from waiting in the cold, I ended up waiting in the cold. From there we decided to head for a bar at Halsted and Armitage where Deek Hermonica led us in a short fun laid back sitting circle. Then we headed into the back room and shot about six games of pool showing each other how bad we really where. But we had fun. .Then on Sat there was a Rag Time Hash set by Ritilan Cum Bubble from his house. I assume it went off well. Sun was the regular Chicago Hash from Beaumonts set by Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd. When I got there, there was a message on the ground about change of location. The bar was closed. Well I got to the new location in time to be greeted by a huge crowd of two other hounds, So it would be just the three of us, Silent But Deadly, Deek Hermonica and Horn-E. That could be the smallest Chicago Hash I've ever seen. But we headed out following yellow chalk marks and after a bad start, the marks were good despite the wet ground. Nice trail from what I saw. Yeah, again I got off trail. Going down an alley south of North, heading north after a Triple Split a block south and I was off trail. So I exited the alley and attempted to parallel the other two. First street and there they were. Second street, no one in sight, Several blocks later I circled back to where they were last seen and found out why I missed them. They kept going after that first street, but found no marks, Returning they saw a hidden mark heading north towards North Ave, where i was, but no longer am. Damn. So, now I'm back on trail and about five or six blocks behind. I crossed North and found a Split. Looking west I saw a sign that said, Do Not Enter. So naturally I thought the trail went that way. A block later I emerged from that tiny street to see a mark heading west. so naturally I followed it. It was a False from a Check I missed. Now I'm about ten blocks behind. So from the Check I headed north and I was On. Until I was off. A turn arrow  to the east. They are long gone. Actually a block away, they were at a shot stop. So, knowing where the B was, I just headed over there, thinking Silent But Deadly would be there dancing around in the cold, pissed off waiting for Horn-E again. Instead I found the hares and the beer in Oz Park. And there we waited. The trail went over to the Zoo and around that lagoon just south of the Zoo. There the other two got split up at a Five Way Split. Meanwhile we were getting colder and eventually after about 15 minutes, Deek Hermonica came walking on in. Another ten minutes later Silent But Deadly showed up with a cup of hot chocolate. So, trying to keep her from waiting in the cold, I ended up waiting in the cold. From there we decided to head for a bar at Halsted and Armitage where Deek Hermonica led us in a short fun laid back sitting circle. Then we headed into the back room and shot about six games of pool showing each other how bad we really where. But we had fun.

Sun was the regular Chicago Hash from Beaumonts set by Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd. When I got there, there was a message on the ground about change of location. The bar was closed. Well I got to the new location in time to be greeted by a huge crowd of two other hounds, So it would be just the three of us, Silent But Deadly, Deek Hermonica and Horn-E. That could be the smallest Chicago Hash I've ever seen. But we headed out following yellow chalk marks and after a bad start, the marks were good despite the wet ground. Nice trail from what I saw. Yeah, again I got off trail. Going down an alley south of North, heading north after a Triple Split a block south and I was off trail. So I exited the alley and attempted to parallel the other two. First street and there they were. Second street, no one in sight, Several blocks later I circled back to where they were last seen and found out why I missed them. They kept going after that first street, but found no marks, Returning they saw a hidden mark heading north towards North Ave, where i was, but no longer am. Damn. So, now I'm back on trail and about five or six blocks behind. I crossed North and found a Split. Looking west I saw a sign that said, Do Not Enter. So naturally I thought the trail went that way. A block later I emerged from that tiny street to see a mark heading west. so naturally I followed it. It was a False from a Check I missed. Now I'm about ten blocks behind. So from the Check I headed north and I was On. Until I was off. A turn arrow  to the east. They are long gone. Actually a block away, they were at a shot stop. So, knowing where the B was, I just headed over there, thinking Silent But Deadly would be there dancing around in the cold, pissed off waiting for Horn-E again. Instead I found the hares and the beer in Oz Park. And there we waited. The trail went over to the Zoo and around that lagoon just south of the Zoo. There the other two got split up at a Five Way Split. Meanwhile we were getting colder and eventually after about 15 minutes, Deek Hermonica came walking on in. Another ten minutes later Silent But Deadly showed up with a cup of hot chocolate. So, trying to keep her from waiting in the cold, I ended up waiting in the cold. From there we decided to head for a bar at Halsted and Armitage where Deek Hermonica led us in a short fun laid back sitting circle. Then we headed into the back room and shot about six games of pool showing each other how bad we really where. But we had fun.

Then on Sat there was a Rag Time Hash set by Ritilan Cum Bubble from his house. I assume it went off well. Sun was the regular Chicago Hash from Beaumonts set by Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd. When I got there, there was a message on the ground about change of location. The bar was closed. Well I got to the new location in time to be greeted by a huge crowd of two other hounds, So it would be just the three of us, Silent But Deadly, Deek Hermonica and Horn-E. That could be the smallest Chicago Hash I've ever seen. But we headed out following yellow chalk marks and after a bad start, the marks were good despite the wet ground. Nice trail from what I saw. Yeah, again I got off trail. Going down an alley south of North, heading north after a Triple Split a block south and I was off trail. So I exited the alley and attempted to parallel the other two. First street and there they were. Second street, no one in sight, Several blocks later I circled back to where they were last seen and found out why I missed them. They kept going after that first street, but found no marks, Returning they saw a hidden mark heading north towards North Ave, where i was, but no longer am. Damn. So, now I'm back on trail and about five or six blocks behind. I crossed North and found a Split. Looking west I saw a sign that said, Do Not Enter. So naturally I thought the trail went that way. A block later I emerged from that tiny street to see a mark heading west. so naturally I followed it. It was a False from a Check I missed. Now I'm about ten blocks behind. So from the Check I headed north and I was On. Until I was off. A turn arrow  to the east. They are long gone. Actually a block away, they were at a shot stop. So, knowing where the B was, I just headed over there, thinking Silent But Deadly would be there dancing around in the cold, pissed off waiting for Horn-E again. Instead I found the hares and the beer in Oz Park. And there we waited. The trail went over to the Zoo and around that lagoon just south of the Zoo. There the other two got split up at a Five Way Split. Meanwhile we were getting colder and eventually after about 15 minutes, Deek Hermonica came walking on in. Another ten minutes later Silent But Deadly showed up with a cup of hot chocolate. So, trying to keep her from waiting in the cold, I ended up waiting in the cold. From there we decided to head for a bar at Halsted and Armitage where Deek Hermonica led us in a short fun laid back sitting circle. Then we headed into the back room and shot about six games of pool showing each other how bad we really where. But we had fun.Then on Sat there was a Rag Time Hash set by Ritilan Cum Bubble from his house. I assume it went off well. Sun was the regular Chicago Hash from Beaumonts set by Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd. When I got there, there was a message on the ground about change of location. The bar was closed. Well I got to the new location in time to be greeted by a huge crowd of two other hounds, So it would be just the three of us, Silent But Deadly, Deek Hermonica and Horn-E. That could be the smallest Chicago Hash I've ever seen. But we headed out following yellow chalk marks and after a bad start, the marks were good despite the wet ground. Nice trail from what I saw. Yeah, again I got off trail. Going down an alley south of North, heading north after a Triple Split a block south and I was off trail. So I exited the alley and attempted to parallel the other two. First street and there they were. Second street, no one in sight, Several blocks later I circled back to where they were last seen and found out why I missed them. They kept going after that first street, but found no marks, Returning they saw a hidden mark heading north towards North Ave, where i was, but no longer am. Damn. So, now I'm back on trail and about five or six blocks behind. I crossed North and found a Split. Looking west I saw a sign that said, Do Not Enter. So naturally I thought the trail went that way. A block later I emerged from that tiny street to see a mark heading west. so naturally I followed it. It was a False from a Check I missed. Now I'm about ten blocks behind. So from the Check I headed north and I was On. Until I was off. A turn arrow  to the east. They are long gone. Actually a block away, they were at a shot stop. So, knowing where the B was, I just headed over there, thinking Silent But Deadly would be there dancing around in the cold, pissed off waiting for Horn-E again. Instead I found the hares and the beer in Oz Park. And there we waited. The trail went over to the Zoo and around that lagoon just south of the Zoo. There the other two got split up at a Five Way Split. Meanwhile we were getting colder and eventually after about 15 minutes, Deek Hermonica came walking on in. Another ten minutes later Silent But Deadly showed up with a cup of hot chocolate. So, trying to keep her from waiting in the cold, I ended up waiting in the cold. From there we decided to head for a bar at Halsted and Armitage where Deek Hermonica led us in a short fun laid back sitting circle. Then we headed into the back room and shot about six games of pool showing each other how bad we really where. But we had fun.
Then on Sat there was a Rag Time Hash set by Ritilan Cum Bubble from his house. I assume it went off well. Sun was the regular Chicago Hash from Beaumonts set by Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd. When I got there, there was a message on the ground about change of location. The bar was closed. Well I got to the new location in time to be greeted by a huge crowd of two other hounds, So it would be just the three of us, Silent But Deadly, Deek Hermonica and Horn-E. That could be the smallest Chicago Hash I've ever seen. But we headed out following yellow chalk marks and after a bad start, the marks were good despite the wet ground. Nice trail from what I saw. Yeah, again I got off trail. Going down an alley south of North, heading north after a Triple Split a block south and I was off trail. So I exited the alley and attempted to parallel the other two. First street and there they were. Second street, no one in sight, Several blocks later I circled back to where they were last seen and found out why I missed them. They kept going after that first street, but found no marks, Returning they saw a hidden mark heading north towards North Ave, where i was, but no longer am. Damn. So, now I'm back on trail and about five or six blocks behind. I crossed North and found a Split. Looking west I saw a sign that said, Do Not Enter. So naturally I thought the trail went that way. A block later I emerged from that tiny street to see a mark heading west. so naturally I followed it. It was a False from a Check I missed. Now I'm about ten blocks behind. So from the Check I headed north and I was On. Until I was off. A turn arrow  to the east. They are long gone. Actually a block away, they were at a shot stop. So, knowing where the B was, I just headed over there, thinking Silent But Deadly would be there dancing around in the cold, pissed off waiting for Horn-E again. Instead I found the hares and the beer in Oz Park. And there we waited. The trail went over to the Zoo and around that lagoon just south of the Zoo. There the other two got split up at a Five Way Split. Meanwhile we were getting colder and eventually after about 15 minutes, Deek Hermonica came walking on in. Another ten minutes later Silent But Deadly showed up with a cup of hot chocolate. So, trying to keep her from waiting in the cold, I ended up waiting in the cold. From there we decided to head for a bar at Halsted and Armitage where Deek Hermonica led us in a short fun laid back sitting circle. Then we headed into the back room and shot about six games of pool showing each other how bad we really where. But we had fun.On Thu 15 Nov. 2018, we had a TH3 Hash from Danny's Tap Room with W Jew 40, Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Foamy Discharge haring for only 8 hounds. And we lost two of them, J Ben and I Feel Tower a visitor. How did they get lost? Well, maybe like me. We did a quick turn to the west and had a quick Check. Fine. The FRBs were scattered. I finally followed three hounds heading south in an alley. I followed after they turned east. When I got back around, everyone was long gone. I went back to the Check on the northeast corner and it wasn't marked. So I crossed the street to the west side and saw a sweep true trail mark heading north. After no marks up to the next corner, I crossed the street to the east and there was a Split pointing north and west. I headed north. Meanwhile the late arriving Eat My Pussy showed up streaking north following that same FALSE SWEEP TRAIL MARK I saw. He went three blocks and found nothing. I went two and a little more. We finally returned and followed that Split to the west. We were soon on. Thanks for marking that trail wrong. WTF. Learn how to mark trail as a sweep or don't mark them. A wrong mark is worse then no mark at all. The next Split was marked correctly and we headed south in an alley and eventually further west. And there was another Split. This one was pointing north down a street and west into a gangway or whatever. But there was another of those True Trail sweep marks. Pointing south. I followed that south all the way to Milwaukee and no marks. Returning, I decided to range around the block and head north. I finally found the trail coming out of a gangway or whatever. Duh. Fucked again by the phantom sweep saboteur. Thanks a fuckin lot. At this point, I figured that it would be futile to proceed and find more of these marks. Smart move. I headed over to that little park just east of Western on hopes that the trail would end there at a familiar beer stop. As I got there, Eat My Pussy and O'Shitty Runch ran by. Now there is some good luck. I followed then down an alley to the beer stop in the back yard of W Jew 40 and Little Trojan Annie's new house. Back at the bar we had a nice circle R A'd by Litle Trojan Annie and those two missing hashers never showed up. Wonder how and where they lost trail.

Then on Sat 17 Nov 2018, we had the 162nd running of the Bushman Hash, every 3rd Sat since Jun 2005. I remember something I read on another hashes web site some time back. Something about a rising tide floats all boats. But sometimes it seems that the bigger boats like to throw anchors onto the smaller boats and keep them from rising with the tide. Well, it happened again, just when we think that the bigger boats are getting more friendly and not always sabotaging other  boats, it happened again. And this after many years of cooperating on this date and rising together. Well, we are still afloat and still "the greatest hash." We had only three hounds joining the hare, Horn-E. But they had a decent woods trail in the snow, mostly laid with white flour on trees. Yeah, white on white. It really worked better. We had a small section of briars and then it was open woods and trails the rest of the way. There was one small stream crossing that we could jump across. I got my feet wet later in a small hole and wet mud. We even suckered Lifa into running around the golf course on False trails. At the finish it was an all Goose Island circle and pretzels. Berts Special Friend was FRB and Lower Wackoff was DFL. After we went over to Draft where we had three rounds of Guinness pints before heading home. Good time. I'll get my turkey on Thanksgiving.


On Thu we had a TH3 Hash from Danny's Tap Room with W Jew 40, Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Foamy Discharge haring for only 8 hounds. And we lost two of them, J Ben and I Feel Tower a visitor. How did they get lost? Well, maybe like me. We did a quick turn to the west and had a quick Check. Fine. The FRBs were scattered. I finally followed three hounds heading south in an alley. I followed after they turned east. When I got back around, everyone was long gone. I went back to the Check on the northeast corner and it wasn't marked. So I crossed the street to the west side and saw a sweep true trail mark heading north. After no marks up to the next corner, I crossed the street to the east and there was a Split pointing north and west. I headed north. Meanwhile the late arriving Eat My Pussy showed up streaking north following that same FALSE SWEEP TRAIL MARK I saw. He went three blocks and found nothing. I went two and a little more. We finally returned and followed that Split to the west. We were soon on. Thanks for marking that trail wrong. WTF. Learn how to mark trail as a sweep or don't mark them. A wrong mark is worse then no mark at all. The next Split was marked correctly and we headed south in an alley and eventually further west. And there was another Split. This one was pointing north down a street and west into a gangway or whatever. But there was another of those True Trail sweep marks. Pointing south. I followed that south all the way to Milwaukee and no marks. Returning, I decided to range around the block and head north. I finally found the trail coming out of a gangway or whatever. Duh. Fucked again by the phantom sweep saboteur. Thanks a fuckin lot. At this point, I figured that it would be futile to proceed and find more of these marks. Smart move. I headed over to that little park just east of Western on hopes that the trail would end there at a familiar beer stop. As I got there, Eat My Pussy and O'Shitty Runch ran by. Now there is some good luck. I followed then down an alley to the beer stop in the back yard of W Jew 40 and Little Trojan Annie's new house. Back at the bar we had a nice circle R A'd by Litle Trojan Annie and those two missing hashers never showed up. Wonder how and where they lost trail. Then on Sat we had the 162nd running of the Bushman Hash, every 3rd Sat since Jun 2005. I remember something I read on another hashes web site some time back. Something about a rising tide floats all boats. But sometimes it seems that the bigger boats like to throw anchors onto the smaller boats and keep them from rising with the tide. Well, it happened again, just when we think that the bigger boats are getting more friendly and not always sabotaging other  boats, it happened again. And this after many years of cooperating on this date and rising together. Well, we are still afloat and still "the greatest hash." We had only three hounds joining the hare, Horn-E. But they had a decent woods trail in the snow, mostly laid with white flour on trees. Yeah, white on white. It really worked better. We had a small section of briars and then it was open woods and trails the rest of the way. There was one small stream crossing that we could jump across. I got my feet wet later in a small hole and wet mud. We even suckered Lifa into running around the golf course on False trails. At the finish it was an all Goose Island circle and pretzels. Berts Special Friend was FRB and Lower Wackoff was DFL. After we went over to Draft where we had three rounds of Guinness pints before heading home. Good time. I'll get my turkey on Thanksgiving.

On Thu 8 Nov 2018, I found out at the last minute that Ritilin Cum Bubble would be setting a trail from Park & Field for TH3. We only had 7 hounds on a nice night for running. The high, no low light was a check under the 606 trail. We went everywhere looking for marks and found almost nothing. Only two marks heading north in an alley. I finally retraced some steps to check out an alley to the west. Nothing. As I turned around and headed back I suddenly found a mark, potentially pointing straight up a hill to 606. WTF.  Well, I charged/crawled up and there was the next mark and a third and we were off and running. Unfortunately Lifa, False Advertising and Complimentary Nuts were now missing. From here it was an easy trail on 606 and off again and just barely on where we found the Beer and Lifa. False Advertising eventually gave up and returned to the bar. We were able to get Complimentary Nuts on a phone and gave him directions and finally, all was good. Then it took me 4.5 hours to get home.

On Thu I found out at the last minute that Ritilin Cum Bubble would be setting a trail from Park & Field for TH3. We only had 7 hounds on a nice night for running. The high, no low light was a check under the 606 trail. We went everywhere looking for marks and found almost nothing. Only two marks heading north in an alley. I finally retraced some steps to check out an alley to the west. Nothing. As I turned around and headed back I suddenly found a mark, potentially pointing straight up a hill to 606. WTF.  Well, I charged/crawled up and there was the next mark and a third and we were off and running. Unfortunately Lifa, False Advertising and Complimentary Nuts were now missing. From here it was an easy trail on 606 and off again and just barely on where we found the Beer and Lifa. False Advertising eventually gave up and returned to the bar. We were able to get Complimentary Nuts on a phone and gave him directions and finally, all was good. Then it took me 4.5 hours to get home.

Fri, 9 Nov. 2018, brought us a First Crack Of The Moon Hash with Lower Wackoff laying trail from Yackos. There were only three hounds, Horn-E, Meat Inside Her and Berts Special Friend and it was bloody cold with a strong wind and miserable wind chills for three hounds who weren't acclimated to the cold yet. Maybe we are now. We had a short run in a few streets before heading into the Forest Preserve and a nasty Check in a parking lot. But in the woods, the wind was down and it wasn't to bad. It took about 20 minutes to find that trail and just a few minutes later we were at another Check on a bridge. Two Falses later and Berts Special Friend found trail and Horn-E managed to slip ahead and find the beer, Boo Bee and Bingo. We held a quick circle and headed back to Yackos where we had $2 drafts and ordered a pizza. Good time, But still damn cold.

On Sat, 10 Nov, 2018, there was a Big Dog Hash, set by Hooch B4 Cooch from the Irish Nobelman for an A to B trail at Noon. I set out early enough to get there about 20 minutes early. Then the CTA bus went by early as I approached the bus stop. So I opted for plan B, about the same timing but over to the Red Line. Bad move. When I got to the platform, I found out that the southbound train would not stop there and I had to go all the way to Howard. WTF. So, north I went. At Howard, as the train pulled into the station, I saw a south bound train waiting on the other platform. So I ran over the bridge to catch the train followed by about 75 to 100 pissed off customers. As I ran down the steps, the SON OF A BITCH pulled out and left us all standing there. Now we were really pissed. Now I will definitely be late, but I can only hope that someone marks the trail and I can eventually make the beer stop. Finally at Chicago Ave. I get there at 1:25. Could I possibly get there during circle. Nope. When the bus arrives after about 1:35 it is jammed packed like worse then rush hour. We drive on and suddenly we are on a detour as the Chicago Ave Bridge is out. And everyone goes the same way and the traffic is worst then rush hour in a snow storm. I finally arrive at the bar and, unbelievably they are just holding circle, one hour late. And there were only three hounds, now four with me.
So we take off and are relatively together until a Triple Split after about a mile later. When I got there, no one seemed to be On. I eventually followed The King Of Bedbugs and wasn't On. Then suddenly On. Then there was a Split. And it was marked with sticks to go right. A long block later and a long block back and I found trail to the left. Thanks. Now I'm hopelessly behind, but the trail, although mostly unswept, was mostly predicatble. Finally after a Check on Armitage, I found trail and suddenly found a Split, marked to go straight. I went a block straight, three times and never saw the next mark. So, ranging and generally giving up I stumbled on marks and then at the next Check I lost it and quit. I got to the beer Stop just after they left and they head over to Soul Tacos House. We quickly held a circle inside with a few others, non runners. And then a big party broke out with more and more hashers turning up. I knew nothing of this, but apparently three hash couples are breeding and this was a party for them.

Sun Nov 11, 2018, was the Chicago Hashes regular day and after three hashes with 7, then 3, then 4 hounds, I didn't know what to expect. But it was Veteran's Day and a lot of hashers would have the next day off. And it would be centrally located at Parrots. I Eat Dick was the hare. Wow, fourteen hounds. The trail wasn't to long and we had a slight bit of trail through Lincoln Park and eventually over to a Check at Sheffield. Duh, Menstraul Casserole lives a few blocks to the south. So I led a small contingent of five hounds through the alley and we were soon at the beer stop. And the hare provided us with some good Goose Island and Revolution beers. Back at the bar, Hooch B4 Cooch took over the circle and we had one damn good and long circle. After that we slowly dispersed when the beer budget ended.

On Wed, Oct 10, 2018, for The First Crack of the Moon Hash, Son Of Spam and Silent But Deadly laid trail from Park Tavern for 8 trail hounds. I arrived late, but caught up with Lower Wackoff and we managed to follow the mostly well swept trail to the finish in a park. Here Son Of Spam passed on the Grand Master position to Meat Insider. Does that make her the First Crack of the First Crack Of The Moon Hash? Just asking. That just cracks me up. She then announced that she would have Silent But Deadly act as Hare Raiser. We eventually went back to the bar for some grub and a beer.

Then on Thu, Oct 11, 2018, I again showed up late. Damn CTA. But Captains Log, Furry Spice and Just Sasha laid the WTOTY for The Thirstday Hash and eleven hounds. Trail was well swept and and I soon crossed the bridge on Montrose. I could see flashlights heading south on the new river trail path. I short cut in the adjacent park and somehow missed the same flashlights as they then headed to the west side of the park as I headed south on the east side. Shit happens. I missed a shot stop in the park. Good. A few blocks later, trail went through a gangway and there were the hares, directing me to a roof deck for a beer stop. Eventually we left and ran about another mile to another shot stop. From here there was a back check and I opted for ranging and soon headed over the river and towards Western. I soon found marks and ran into the usual park and there were the hares. Done. Eventually the pack ranged on in. At Celtic Crown and after circle, we got around to naming Just Sasha. She will be forever more be known as Brother Incisor. 

On Sun Oct 14, 2018, I made it to the Feather Nest in time for the Chicago Hash laid by Just Mike and Hooch B4 Cooch. Then it took off 25 minutes late with nine hounds on trail and about that many who just walked to the beer stop. Wimps. Five were soon out of sight and four of us struggled to find the trail. We almost lost Lifa who did a fast kiss of the curb on Elston. Meanwhile we ran on to the beer stop at Soul Tacos. There after some furious playing of four square, we were told that there was another beer stop. This time only five of us took off. At the first Check we lost the three front runners who kept going south and never looked back. Horn-E found trail to the west and he and Lifa followed the trail until the last mark, a Split, a half block from Feather's Nest. Apparently there was no second beer stop and everyone was already back by the time we finished trail. Then we had a shitty circle led by Furry Spice and a naming led by Menstrual Casserole for Just Mike. He will forever more be know as Maybe Molly.

Last week hashes:

Th, Oct. 4, 2018, was a Thirstday Hash with a last minute change of hare as Foamy Discharge stepped up and laid a Marathon prelube hash of 2.62 miles from Danny's Tap Room. Having lost a chunk of my ass on Mon. I begged for the beer stop location in case I really couldn't run. Well, I could, but slower then normal. Trail went south and nine hounds took off. I managed to stay with the pack until shortly after we passed North and Western, heading east. I ranged a bit and finally gave up when I saw no marks on 606. So I headed north towards the beer stop location. Finally heading west a block I found the pack heading east. Ooops. So I just kept heading north and finally the pack came back to me on Western at Logan. From here I let them find the Beer Stop although I knew it was just past the skate park. Then after a short beer stop in paper cups, they ran on and I walked with the hares over to the parkway by some trees for the final beer stop. Everyone managed to make it in with False Advertising coming in FRB, with the exception of SnatchSquatch who finally lost the trail for good and went back to the bar. And speaking of the bar, we had several groupies show up and we circled in the back yard.

Then on Sun, Oct 7, 2018 we had the Marathon beer stop as usual near mile 23. And as usual, we had many volunteers who contributed beer, cups, garbage bags, signs, and enthusiasm as we passed out about 2500 cups of beer to the eager and grateful marathoners. A good time was had by all volunteers. Thanks for coming out. I actually met a guy who hashed in Katmandu back in 1983. Maybe he'll come out and join us. I also saw one guy who ran barefoot. Many were taped up and whatever they had to do to finish the marathon. Saw one guy running on springs with both feet and lower calfs missing. And well done to all of those in wheelchairs.

Then we went over to Turtles for the usual Sun, Oct 7, 2018Chicago Hash where SnatchSquatch and Ball Cock Dumper laid a trail of about 3 miles. Yeah, I did at least four as one of 6 hashers who ran the trail. I never saw Hooch B4 Cooch as he must have found trail early and really moved on to Home plate. Found myself with Silent But Deadly and Dr. Cockvorkian early on and we hit one of many Splits. They went west and I found trail north. She kept going and ranging and wasn't seen until she hit home plate. Meanwhile Dr. Cockvorkian ket on trail to another Check He went left, right, I went right, wrong. Never saw him again until home plate. I ran on through checks and Splits and finally Soul Taco and Jolly Green Jizzer caught me. We struggled for a bit on some Checks and Splits and finally I found one Check and soon they caught me and passed me. I never saw them again until the finish at home plate. If you were counting, that was all five and I came in DFL as usual, sliding into home plate for a 6-0 finish. We circled at the historic home plate before heading back to the bar for some more beer and grub.


On Wed, Sep 26, 2018, we ran a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Snotcho Mama from The Map Room. We had a small pack for the WWH3 of only 5 hounds, but a decent trail and the pack mostly stayed together. We also had two virgins, Just Tim and Just Rose, a competitive Pole Dancer. I've never even seen our local Poles dance. I mean not even the Polka. After a short Whiskey stop we headed over to the Map Room for some good beers.

Then on Thu Sep 27, 2018, we had the TH3 Hash set by Silent But Deadly for 13 hounds from Miska's. I had my doubts on this one as the Hare was sleeping in the bar before the trail. But we took off to the west and had a real long check at Western and Clybourn. Naturally I was off to the west as trail was found to the Northeast through an empty lot. I thought that was it for me, but we mostly regrouped at a baby stop. O'Shitty Runch and Foamy Discharge. Have we named that baby yet. No, we can't name it Shitty Discharge. How about Foamy Runch? She hares tonight. Anyhow, the trail took off again to the north and I soon fell behind and lost track of the pack. I finally regrouped with a few hashers just before the beer stop and then fell behind again as the trail headed over to the usual park south of the bar for a beer stop. By the time I came in, DFL, some had already left the beer stop. Back at the bar we had the usual good circle and unlimited beer.    

On Sun Sep 30, 2018, we had a Chicago Hash set by Hooch B4 Cooch & Silent But Deadly for 10 hounds. Just after we took off I pulled something in my right knee. Damn, it sure sucks to get old. So by the first check two blocks later I was a limping fool. But no one went north so I did and soon I was on the third mark, but missed a turn mark. So I short cut to the pack and was soon following Slit Digger as we led to a Check at Elston and California. I went south on California and was soon on. I stood at the third mark for at least five minutes, a Split, and shouted and waved back at the check hangers and no one looked my way. As slow as I am, I wasn't running all the way back. I quickly solved the Split and returned to mark it and again I tried a few more minutes, but no one looked my was and so I took off. I had several more Splits that I went back and marked. They weren't far as most of the Splits were all to short and easy to solve. No wonder some trails get blown away. It takes no time to solve the Splits. Anyway, Slit Digger eventually caught me at the next Check and we went left. The pack arrived and solved the Check to the right. Shortly after that there was a T and E Split that I missed, but I was on the Turkey Trail. I saw three hounds a block away, including out Virgin, Just Caroline. But I got stuck by a light. When I got to where I last saw them there was a weird mark. Actually it was a mark bringing the T and E trails back together. But they read it wrong and saw it as a Split and went right. They were now on the Eagle trail backwards. Meanwhile I came up and went left and three blocks later I was FRB to the beer stop. It was a long time later before the rest of the pack arrived.
From here there was more trail. I followed it with a visitor who was mostly walking. We finally got to Wester and Logan Blvd, just a few blocks from the bar and we headed there. Unfortunately the trail didn't and went to a second beer stop. Ooops. We eventually went back looking for them and found them just after they left the 2nd beer stop.
Back at the bar, False Advertising led us in a circle with Old Style in cans.
On Wed, we ran a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Snotcho Mama from The Map Room. We had a small pack for the WWH3 of only 5 hounds, but a decent trail and the pack mostly stayed together. We also had two virgins, Just Tim and Just Rose, a competitive Pole Dancer. I've never even seen our local Poles dance. I mean not even the Polka. After a short Whiskey stop we headed over to the Map Room for some good beers.


On Thu Sep 6, 2018, we had a Thirstday Hash as usual. And an old favorite bar, Double Bubble. But only 7 hounds showed up to hash on a cool BUT NOT COLD night. It was laid by Silent But Deadly and Just Kevin. Nice trail at least at the start. To the northwest and then through the Loyola campus. I led a few hounds south through two alleys after a Check. But I missed a turn. I looked back for those that were following me and they were gone. No whistles on yells of ON On. So I quickly found the trail but everyone was now long gone.Trail was marked until a Beer Near mark. I went straight for a block and a half but no marks. So I gave up and headed east and there were suddenly marks. Apparently a bunch of the others also got caught on that one. But a short beer stop and then over to the bar and the beer garden for a good circle.

Then on Sat Sep 8, 2018, was the Big Dog Hash set from the Chicago Beer Society Picnic. Many came for the beer and food, but only five hashes did the short but nice trail set by Crash Test Blow Me.

We started the week 27 Aug, 2018. with a CH3 hash set by Dr. Cockvorkian and O'Shitty Runch from an old favorite, Miskas. Cheap beer. $30 30 packs. Now that is good. I counted an unusual  21 hounds with some virgins and visitors. Doc Cock, no I won't criticize your trail. Actually well laid with a nice mix of zig zag that kept the pack relatively close together. And that is what it is about. And then I blew that great trail wandering around during the to many drink stops and missed the final beer stop. Actually had a good run besides that. Circle was the usual good roust about in Miskas.

Then on Wed, 29 Aug, 2018, we had a Whiskey Wednesday hash from the roof deck of Its Too Soft, with 7 hounds including 2 visitors who mostly walked and got lost early. The rest of us stayed together only because we had such a hard time seeing the marks (colored chalk again, In the dark). I finally lost the small pack and circled a block several times looking for the next mark. Damn. Missed the Whiskey stop. Returned to the roof deck just before the pack and found the lost visitors. Some left over beer and we had a free hash on a beautiful night for hashing. You missed a nice trail and with more, we might have found those marks better. Please, white chalk only at night.

Thu 30 Aug 2018, was the TH3 Hash and it was set by Ritilin Cum Bubble from EZ Inn. Nice bar, but not great for a hash circle. The pack left as I arrived, but all of the splits were marked. Unfortunately none of the Checks were marked. I ran on and on and finally decided after two long Checks that I would never catch the pack and so short cut back and eventually came to the second beer stop ahead of about five hounds. Then suddenly we had three more cold cases of beer and were about to circle when they just as suddenly closed the beer stop and we went back to the bar. The DJ was already playing, but we arranged for a short circle in the dark. And we counted on One Fuck Chuck as our beer wench. And naturally he tipped his tray full of beer right in the middle of the circle. Rusty Grundle continued the circle and we called it after about 10 quick down downs.

Sat 1 Sep, 2018, was a late change of location for the Chicago Hash and it was from Han Tree Inn. Deek Harmonica was the hare and we got off to a lousy start, J. Virgit ( I probably got that wrong) pointed us to the south for the start. It went north. By the time Furry Spice finally passed me, I think he already ran a mile. But we 6 ran on and mostly stayed together following flour in case of more rain. No rain but enough sweating in the heat to get us all wet anyway. After the beer stop with Polish beers, we headed back to the bar. I was the beer wench and with three separate Taps at $7/pitcher, I bought one of each. After two pitchers each, Rolling Rock was the clear winner. Lite and Leinegugal tied for last, but Lifa declared that the Lieine tap was a bit  skunked. And it still tied Lite. After the beer and circle, we walked over to Taste of Palonia for some good grub, Kabob and Polish Sausage and kraut. I lost the pack then, but I think they were in the dry theater listening to the band. 

On Mon Aug 20, 2018, we had a CH3 Hash out of Skylark for about ten hashers, three of which arrived late and the pack was gone at 7:33. Rain was coming. Son Of Spam arrived at 7:36 and took off right away. He just entered an alley as I got off the bus at 7:36 and joined him. Its Too Soft arrived at 7:37 by another bus and finally caught us about half way through trail. A few blocks later the rain finally got hard enough to wash away any sign f the chalk marks. So we held an impromptu beer stop in Simone's and managed to contact the hare who came and picked us up in his car. He brought us to the beer stop undeer the Dan Ryan expressway where itwas nice and dry. Of course it didn't make any difference as the rain stopped. We held a circle there and then went back to Simone's.

Then came Thu. Aug 23, 2018, Just Michael laid trail from the Barrell and I heard about 12 or 15 hashers showed up. Couldn't make it myself, but I heard it was a good trail and they circled up in a park after.

Fri Aug 24, 208, we had a Chicago Full Moon Hash from Zalopane and set by Coma Toast and The Foam Queen. No Checks. The Checks are put into trails to help regroup the pack so those in back can keep up with those in front and those in front can get a longer more suitable run and those in back can get a shorter run. They did have many Splits, but those can be found more quickly. So we took off and had a quick Split. I ran off on trail as soon as it was called and soon passed by the back of the pack, except Lower Wackoff. I finally lost sight of Berts Special Friend and then at North and Ashland, i missed a faded turn arrow and went a long block straight north without a mark. Why a long block? Because the marks were already becoming few and far apart on many cases and we had to go far to make sure we were on trail. By now I completely lost Lower Wackoff and a short time later Hooch B4 Cooch passed me. Late arrival. He was also soon out of sight. Thankfully, hounds kept marking the Splits, correctly, and I didn't have to do any checking. That was good on a strung out pack. But that also turned the course into little more then a long training run with a lot of long straights. I started out running pretty good. For me anyhow. But by the end it was just slower and slower, making sure at every possible intersection that I didn't miss any turns in the dark shadows. Finally, the last Split wasn't marked. I went straight and as luck would have it, I went wrong. So I returned and marked that last split and headed north, missing the B on bad asphalt and going all the way to Division. Returning I ran into Lifa coming out of a back yard at the B. After sitting around for a good half hour, they quit waiting and already started the circle. But I managed a few good beers. Thanks. Finally Lower Wackoff came in and we were complete. After circle we went back to the bar and shortly after they were talking about going to a birthday party for Dr. Cockvorkian at Beer On Clark. I went along and there were about another 15 hashers there and beer was on a special price. Good time.

Sun Aug 26, 2018, was a Rag Time Hash set by Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her. Tried to go, but got a late start and finally decided against it. Hope they had a good time. Berts Special Friend was actually going to set a real trail for once of about four miles.

On Mon, Aug 13, 2018, The Chicago Hash was hared by Mudsucker from Turtles for 8 hounds. We ran over to the campus before a quick loop and back across the Dan Ryan and around Sox Park. Then south to a weed filled field for a quick beer. then on to the area of the old Stock Yards and down some tracks to another weed filled beer stop. From there it was over to the hares for the official beer stop. We then walked over to the bar and held a easy going circle at the sidewalk table area.

Then on Tue, Aug 14, 2018, Horn-E laid  trail for The First Crack of the Moon Hash out of Double Bubble for 11 hounds. We ended up at the lakefront about 50 minutes later with the usual lime of bitches and then headed back to the bar and the beer garden for a nice laid back Moon style circle.

 Thu, Aug 16, 2018,  had Just Ben and Just Eric laying trail from Danny's Tap Room for 18 hounds including some virgins. After a few mis-marks and a long check that had Horn-E running 3rd for a while, we finally came to a beer stop in an alley. Just Ben then took off early to make sure the trail from there to the finish had no more mis-marks and mistakes. Actually the course was mostly okay for virgin hares. But the second half of trail laid by Just Eric, had many long straight sections of two blocks or longer with no marks that had me going back to make sure I didn't miss a turn. Need at least one mark per short block and more on long blocks. Never to many marks on trail. There was one mis-mark on the last part of the trail as we crossed Armitage. The cross street was at an angle and there was a mark  indicating that. But some one set a hound mark straight across the street and a sharp left turn pointing west on Armitage. Well, just after a section of over two blocks without a mark, I was left with having to go two blocks or more to the west and back, only to find the trail a short distance on that angled street. REMEMBER: BAD MARKS ARE WORSE THEN NO MARKS AT ALL. If you mark something the wrong way, you sabotaged the trail. Good but long circle in the back beer garden smoking area. We had a visitor,  Chip N Dale from Denver so we had his usual order of Pizza's after (including anchovies) and the beer kept flowing on and on.

Then on Sat, Aug 18, 2018, Horn-E laid a BUSHMAN HASH for a dozen hounds. Kitty Kitty Gang Bang ran her first Bushman trail and had two huge balls to prove she had the balls to run with the Bushman and become an official Bush Babe. And R-Tard-E also got a bandanna. Circle was under the model plane airfield and we watched planes doing flips and stuff every bit as good as the air show on the lake front. We also saw a herd of youf deer running back and forth over the air field while we circled. After we went across the street for grilling and Always Cums First had her special chicken to grill up and Lower Wackoff had other grillables and Just Do Me Slowly+- had grilled rice balls. Fresh fruit and cold beer and perfect weather.


On Tue, Aug 7, 2018, I did the 4X2H4 Hash an I hared from Lotties with a total of 9 Hounds. Then the rains came as I was about to leave home. So bad my street was flooded, over the curbs on both sides. That is a heavy rain. So I prepared for the worst and only a few hounds and a semi live trail. I arrived at 6:15 and Soul Taco was there and ready to run. The sky now looked like no rain so I took off laying trail with dry wall. The plan was to head east, but not past Ashland to the east and Armitage to the north, and to the south go only two blocks south of North. Then race back to the start to find out who was there so I could buy enough beer while laying trail. The pack was growing and there would be 7 of us. Three six packs. They were to take off and I went back to trail to finish laying it. Trail now stayed between North and Armitage and not go as far west as Western. Worked fine as I tried to run with a heavy back pack and hope the following pack of hounds wouldn't catch me. So, how do you do that. Tricky Checks and Splits, as often as possible to slow them down like a real hash and give myself more time. It worked. And almost everyone finished within a tight group. But now there were 10 of us and not quite enough beer. And then the bitching began. Five or more miles. Well, true trail was about 4 exactly. The checking got them, but it did keep the pack together. We finished without a BN. I made it up as I went and suddenly I saw the spot, so I just laid a B. Hell, I'm right there so they can't miss me. on the 606 bridge over Damen with a slight cool breeze on a muggy night. After, we went back to Lotties for another and I bought a pitcher of Old Man Grumpy. Good stuff from a grumpy old man.

On Mon, Jul 30, 2018, Glory Hole laid a hash for Chicago H3. And three Chicago Hashers actually showed up. We also had three new hashers, including two virgins. Hooch B4 Cooch showed up late and joined us half way through the trail. With that group we struggled over some Checks but we eventually managed to find trail. I finally fell way behind when a homeless lady in a wheel chair was blocking a turn arrow. Damn. By then I was far enough back that I took the Turkey trail as did the two virgin. The Eagle trail ran down an entrance to the Kennedy and up another entrance to the Kennedy. Fortunately they were under construction. We ended up on the Glory Deck with some snacks and left over beer from POP before we slowly drifted off.

On Thu Aug 2, 2018, we had three hares scheduled for a trail from Kasey's and ended up with two and the one not originally scheduled laid most of the trail. HUH!!! Originally Choke N Stroke, River Stone Annie and Silent But Deadly. But SBD bailed and Gay Dancer stepped up. Then RSA bailed and CNS arrived late and chased GD through most of the trail. And as she raced through the trail, so did the pack of 15. I actually started out near the front as trail was found to the east, but quickly fell behind while Checking and followed the pack south. New stuff and I ended up following Menstrual Casserole. Bad decision. She was following some people ranging and looking for a short cut as we ran south towards Roosevelt, but it was fenced off. Meanwhile the pack went up some stairs and off to Roosevelt and a Split that headed west. By the time i got there I was all alone and followed a well marked trail, but a race course with simple Checks and Splits and few of them. Eventually Cums On Everyone joined me as a late arrival. We ran most of that trail together and eventually ended up in the corner of a park as the last two hounds to the beer stop. From here it was a quick walk to the roof of Ice Princes where we circled and had to choose between shit beer and shitty beer. I finally left with Choke N Stroke and Gay Dancer and headed for the El as Lollapalooza was letting out. But the CTA actually had extra trains and we got seats across from some guy with a bloody nose and blood all over his shirt. WTF.

On Sat, Aug 4, 2018, the last trail of the week was a Big Dog Hash from Stab'em & Slab'em's house. We had 17 hounds following the trail she and Reverand Shut The Fuck Up set. And the 96 degree heat on a sunny day had people whithering right from the start. A quick lemonade stand helped refresh me and we ran off towards Jackson Park. I was now paralleling the pack having missed a turn, but there was suddenly The Foam Queen and I followed him to a quick Back Check and we headed into the park. We mostly stayed somewhat in sight of everyone except Lower Wackoff and Menage A Twat who fell behind and ended up walking. They actually got to the beer stop just as we were about to leave. I digress. Meanwhile the pack ranged between the golf course and towards the lake, but never quite there, and through a nice mix of Checks and Splits that mostly kept us together. Hell, even Horn-E got in front a few times. We eventually entered a natural area with some nice paths through prairie grasses and such and a short time later we were at the beer stop. And we really needed it. Back at the hares house we headed out to a yard party for some snacks and a circle. then we headed for food, sausages, potatoes, bread, shrimp, etc. damn good grub. I finally left when Lower Wackoff made a ride available. We had one Harriett who I haven't seen in many years show up. Bang Me Blow Me Get Me Off. Welcome back.

On Mon, July 16, 2018, The Cock Whisperer, Rusty Grundel and Soul Taco laid a trail from Damen Tavern for eight hounds. A nice twisting course. Unfortunately is was sabotaged 7 times along the trail. Yes, SEVEN. I'm not the only one who got burned. But it added up to about 2 extra miles of running and missing the beer stop for me.
Sweeping: This is when someone follows the course and marks various Splits, Checks, etc, after they have been resolved.
Why: Hashing is not a race but a group endeavor to resolve a course. After decisions are resolved, we mark these points so that various individuals in back of the pack can hopefully catch up with the pack and not have to resolve everything themselves, thereby falling further behind, or getting lost.
Who are these people in back. Often me and other slower hashers, and maybe visitors and virgins who are not familiar with our marks or the area, those that missed the start, or those that actually went the wrong way at a decision while trying to resolve the trail for the pack and on returning the pack is gone in another direction.
This trail had seven mis marked sweep marks. No excuse. We appreciate all correct marks as we try to catch up. But a bad mark is worse then no mark at all. If there is a decision point and you see someone running up ahead, they might be On, or ranging to someone they see is On. And if you mark something in that direction and you are not On the true trail for some time, or on the wrong side of the street from real true marks, you are marking the wrong direction for those that follow. Once you make a mark, you have taken control of the trail and until you bring the trail back to the actual trail, you are still in control. That means that you need to continue making marks every so often as if you were the hare, until you bring your trail back to the hares trail. Or correct false marks that in no way lead to the Hares Trail. It is sabotage to mark an arrow as true when it isn't.
1. Running south, east side of street. NE corner, split south and to SW corner. Marked to SW corner. Trail went S a short block to an unmarked Check. About a half mile extra running by the time I found that Check Point. Still  had to solve the Check.
mile
2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice.
3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile
4. A Check on Grand. Marked east. Long block east and back on the other side. Another quarter mile extra. Found trail right away to the north. 2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice.
3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice. 3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice. 3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile 5. Coming out of an alley, a Split marked north. Later found it a hundred feet to the east. Another quarter mile.
6. Triple Split, Beer Near, marked south. No marks. Another quarter mile. Trail went east.
7. Triple Split at an alley, marked east. No marks. North no marks. Trail went west and a quick BVN mark. Another half mile.
Beer stop was shortly later, no beer, no pack and back at the bar they were well into circle. And they wonder why I sometimes come in pissed. Sabotage, seven times. No excuses.

On Thu there was a Thirstday Hash, the virgin Chicago haring attempt by Eat My Pussy from Replay Lakeview. Wasn't there, hope they had a good time.

Then on Sat, Jul 21, 2018, we had a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from St. Paul Woods in Morton Grove. Beautiful day for hashing, with only a few light sprays of rain. Six hounds included three Bushman Virgins. Pasta In My Pants from Italy, transplant Double Click For Dick, and Ur Root My Canal, another transplant from up north. And she brought her own balls. And our FRB, R-Tard-E, Just Do Me Slowly our first Bush Babe, and Or G. Screw up of the day was Or G. Now all the Harriets can point at him and tell him how nasty he was. Yeah, he had to stand like a man, behind a tree. Untied his pants, where he had his keys tied, and when he finished he ran on. Suddenly he was returning. He lost his car keys. Ooops. The rest of the guys ran on to the beer stop while I followed the two Bush Babes as a sweep. We had one stretch early on where we got surrounded by water and everyone plunged on in several inches of water and even more of mud. But after that we had three stream crossing that were an easy jump across. Saw three deer on trail while laying it. Also five sightings of a Blue Heron flying over the river. I also ran into a tree, bent over and mooning the trail and it had two assholes. Really. And there was the tree with a handle on it in case it fell over. Really. Never saw anything like that in all my woods trails. Plenty of beer and a casual circle after, then we went to BringerInn for a last round or two. Good time.  2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice.
3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile 4. A Check on Grand. Marked east. Long block east and back on the other side. Another quarter mile extra. Found trail right away to the north. 5. Coming out of an alley, a Split marked north. Later found it a hundred feet to the east. Another quarter mile. 6. Triple Split, Beer Near, marked south. No marks. Another quarter mile. Trail went east. 7. Triple Split at an alley, marked east. No marks. North no marks. Trail went west and a quick BVN mark. Another half mile. Beer stop was shortly later, no beer, no pack and back at the bar they were well into circle. And they wonder why I sometimes come in pissed. Sabotage, seven times. No excuses. On Thu there was a Thirstday Hash, the virgin Chicago haring attempt by Eat My Pussy from Replay Lakeview. Wasn't there, hope they had a good time. Then on Sat, we had a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from St. Paul Woods in Morton Grove. Beautiful day for hashing, with only a few light sprays of rain. Six hounds included three Bushman Virgins. Pasta In My Pants from Italy, transplant Double Click For Dick, and Ur Root My Canal, another transplant from up north. And she brought her own balls. And our FRB, R-Tard-E, Just Do Me Slowly our first Bush Babe, and Or G. Screw up of the day was Or G. Now all the Harriets can point at him and tell him how nasty he was. Yeah, he had to stand like a man, behind a tree. Untied his pants, where he had his keys tied, and when he finished he ran on. Suddenly he was returning. He lost his car keys. Ooops. The rest of the guys ran on to the beer stop while I followed the two Bush Babes as a sweep. We had one stretch early on where we got surrounded by water and everyone plunged on in several inches of water and even more of mud. But after that we had three stream crossing that were an easy jump across. Saw three deer on trail while laying it. Also five sightings of a Blue Heron flying over the river. I also ran into a tree, bent over and mooning the trail and it had two assholes. Really. And there was the tree with a handle on it in case it fell over. Really. Never saw anything like that in all my woods trails. Plenty of beer and a casual circle after, then we went to BringerInn for a last round or two. Good time. On On
On Thu there was a Thirstday Hash, the virgin Chicago haring attempt by Eat My Pussy from Replay Lakeview. Wasn't there, hope they had a good time. Then on Sat, we had a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from St. Paul Woods in Morton Grove. Beautiful day for hashing, with only a few light sprays of rain. Six hounds included three Bushman Virgins. Pasta In My Pants from Italy, transplant Double Click For Dick, and Ur Root My Canal, another transplant from up north. And she brought her own balls. And our FRB, R-Tard-E, Just Do Me Slowly our first Bush Babe, and Or G. Screw up of the day was Or G. Now all the Harriets can point at him and tell him how nasty he was. Yeah, he had to stand like a man, behind a tree. Untied his pants, where he had his keys tied, and when he finished he ran on. Suddenly he was returning. He lost his car keys. Ooops. The rest of the guys ran on to the beer stop while I followed the two Bush Babes as a sweep. We had one stretch early on where we got surrounded by water and everyone plunged on in several inches of water and even more of mud. But after that we had three stream crossing that were an easy jump across. Saw three deer on trail while laying it. Also five sightings of a Blue Heron flying over the river. I also ran into a tree, bent over and mooning the trail and it had two assholes. Really. And there was the tree with a handle on it in case it fell over. Really. Never saw anything like that in all my woods trails. Plenty of beer and a casual circle after, then we went to BringerInn for a last round or two. Good time.  2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice.
3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile 4. A Check on Grand. Marked east. Long block east and back on the other side. Another quarter mile extra. Found trail right away to the north. 5. Coming out of an alley, a Split marked north. Later found it a hundred feet to the east. Another quarter mile. 6. Triple Split, Beer Near, marked south. No marks. Another quarter mile. Trail went east. 7. Triple Split at an alley, marked east. No marks. North no marks. Trail went west and a quick BVN mark. Another half mile. Beer stop was shortly later, no beer, no pack and back at the bar they were well into circle. And they wonder why I sometimes come in pissed. Sabotage, seven times. No excuses. On Thu there was a Thirstday Hash, the virgin Chicago haring attempt by Eat My Pussy from Replay Lakeview. Wasn't there, hope they had a good time. Then on Sat, we had a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from St. Paul Woods in Morton Grove. Beautiful day for hashing, with only a few light sprays of rain. Six hounds included three Bushman Virgins. Pasta In My Pants from Italy, transplant Double Click For Dick, and Ur Root My Canal, another transplant from up north. And she brought her own balls. And our FRB, R-Tard-E, Just Do Me Slowly our first Bush Babe, and Or G. Screw up of the day was Or G. Now all the Harriets can point at him and tell him how nasty he was. Yeah, he had to stand like a man, behind a tree. Untied his pants, where he had his keys tied, and when he finished he ran on. Suddenly he was returning. He lost his car keys. Ooops. The rest of the guys ran on to the beer stop while I followed the two Bush Babes as a sweep. We had one stretch early on where we got surrounded by water and everyone plunged on in several inches of water and even more of mud. But after that we had three stream crossing that were an easy jump across. Saw three deer on trail while laying it. Also five sightings of a Blue Heron flying over the river. I also ran into a tree, bent over and mooning the trail and it had two assholes. Really. And there was the tree with a handle on it in case it fell over. Really. Never saw anything like that in all my woods trails. Plenty of beer and a casual circle after, then we went to BringerInn for a last round or two. Good time. On Mon, The Cock Whisperer, Rusty Grundel and Soul Taco laid a trail from Damen Tavern for eight hounds. A nice twisting course. Unfortunately is was sabotaged 7 times along the trail. Yes, SEVEN. I'm not the only one who got burned. But it added up to about 2 extra miles of running and missing the beer stop for me. Sweeping: This is when someone follows the course and marks various Splits, Checks, etc, after they have been resolved. Why: Hashing is not a race but a group endeavor to resolve a course. After decisions are resolved, we mark these points so that various individuals in back of the pack can hopefully catch up with the pack and not have to resolve everything themselves, thereby falling further behind, or getting lost. Who are these people in back. Often me and other slower hashers, and maybe visitors and virgins who are not familiar with our marks or the area, those that missed the start, or those that actually went the wrong way at a decision while trying to resolve the trail for the pack and on returning the pack is gone in another direction. This trail had seven mis marked sweep marks. No excuse. We appreciate all correct marks as we try to catch up. But a bad mark is worse then no mark at all. If there is a decision point and you see someone running up ahead, they might be On, or ranging to someone they see is On. And if you mark something in that direction and you are not On the true trail for some time, or on the wrong side of the street from real true marks, you are marking the wrong direction for those that follow. Once you make a mark, you have taken control of the trail and until you bring the trail back to the actual trail, you are still in control. That means that you need to continue making marks every so often as if you were the hare, until you bring your trail back to the hares trail. Or correct false marks that in no way lead to the Hares Trail. It is sabotage to mark an arrow as true when it isn't. 1. Running south, east side of street. NE corner, split south and to SW corner. Marked to SW corner. Trail went S a short block to an unmarked Check. About a half mile extra running by the time I found that Check Point. Still  had to solve the Check. 2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice. 3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile 4. A Check on Grand. Marked east. Long block east and back on the other side. Another quarter mile extra. Found trail right away to the north. 5. Coming out of an alley, a Split marked north. Later found it a hundred feet to the east. Another quarter mile. 6. Triple Split, Beer Near, marked south. No marks. Another quarter mile. Trail went east. 7. Triple Split at an alley, marked east. No marks. North no marks. Trail went west and a quick BVN mark. Another half mile. Beer stop was shortly later, no beer, no pack and back at the bar they were well into circle. And they wonder why I sometimes come in pissed. Sabotage, seven times. No excuses. On Thu there was a Thirstday Hash, the virgin Chicago haring attempt by Eat My Pussy from Replay Lakeview. Wasn't there, hope they had a good time. Then on Sat, we had a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from St. Paul Woods in Morton Grove. Beautiful day for hashing, with only a few light sprays of rain. Six hounds included three Bushman Virgins. Pasta In My Pants from Italy, transplant Double Click For Dick, and Ur Root My Canal, another transplant from up north. And she brought her own balls. And our FRB, R-Tard-E, Just Do Me Slowly our first Bush Babe, and Or G. Screw up of the day was Or G. Now all the Harriets can point at him and tell him how nasty he was. Yeah, he had to stand like a man, behind a tree. Untied his pants, where he had his keys tied, and when he finished he ran on. Suddenly he was returning. He lost his car keys. Ooops. The rest of the guys ran on to the beer stop while I followed the two Bush Babes as a sweep. We had one stretch early on where we got surrounded by water and everyone plunged on in several inches of water and even more of mud. But after that we had three stream crossing that were an easy jump across. Saw three deer on trail while laying it. Also five sightings of a Blue Heron flying over the river. I also ran into a tree, bent over and mooning the trail and it had two assholes. Really. And there was the tree with a handle on it in case it fell over. Really. Never saw anything like that in all my woods trails. Plenty of beer and a casual circle after, then we went to BringerInn for a last round or two. Good time.
Last week
On Mon Jul 9, 2018, at The Chicago Hash, Rusty Grundel and the Cock  Whisperer hared from Local Option for 23 hounds with visitors and virgins everywhere. Trail was a nice mix of back and forth without much in the way of outrageous short cuts and a lot of Checks and Splits that kept the pack together and really showed the visitors what hashing in a pack is really all about. And even Horn-E got a turn in front thanks to crossing Fullerton when he saw the pack cross Fullerton a block further west, and coming on marks heading east. Sometimes you get lucky. Good circle in the bar and the bar tender was an old friend from Ravens. Great.

Then on Thu, Jul 12, 2018, SnatchSquatch led his annual Running of the Bulls hash with a co hare, Flamming Flaggot for the TH3 Hash. We had 10 Spaniards and 5 Bulls for this chase from Redmonds. And for once, we Bulls actually got through three Checks before Gay Dancer and Dr. Cockvorkian gored Horn-E, The Dark Kunt and the visitor from Dallas, Double Dribble. Then, back at Redmonds, the bar was having Trivia night so we headed out for 3 30 packs and held circle under the El Track, about 150 feet west of Sheffield. And no cops, but the El did a number on singing and accusations, etc. After, about ten hashers headed to some BYOB pizza place for a few slices.

Fri, Jul 13, 2018, had Lower Wackoff setting the First Crack of the Moon Hash #250. We ran from Ham Tree Inn with 12 hounds. The hare was up to his usual Checks and although this was supposed to be only 2.5 miles long to celebrate the 250th hash, his checks were such that we had a long run before finding the beer. And we really had to look for that. Then we held a short circle in a shelter in the woods before heading back to the bar. On the way back, Lower Wackoff stopped for three large pizzas with six different types of toppings. And he bought them. Great. And we only had $2.50 Hash Cash to celebrate the 250th hash. But Son Of Spam kept the beer flowing and covered that. We also actually had 2 people who were at the first FCMH3, Horn-E the founder and Bloody Thighs.

Then we had to face the Cums On All BasesCums On All BasesCums On All BasesSat, Jul 14, 2018, Cums On All Bases, Big Dog Hash from the Palatine Metra stop. We had a late start due to rain the night before that wiped out the pre laid trail, and the hare having to work earlier. We had a pack of 12 that spanned 75 years differences in age. A Visitor with his wife and two kids, our resident, transient, summer visitors from Hawaii, And six regular hashers. The trail was short on the hashing part of less then two miles where we regrouped at a Check we couldn't solve and then we headed out on two death marches of over a mile each and just straight until the final On In. We entered her house and I thought I was hashing in Antarctica. Damn she had that air conditioner on full blast. I grabbed a beer and headed back in the heat, and shade, to rest up and recover. We eventually held a BDH3 circle and then it was around back to a porch and brats and burgers. Good stuff. We were eventually given rides back to cars and Lower Wackoff and I actually got a ride back into Norwood and his car. All was good.

Sun Jul 15, 2018, there was a surprise hash. Sort of. Second City had a hash and SnatchSquatch forgot he signed up for it, so there wasn't much notice, like Thursday it was announced. But he snagged Panda as a co-hare and set out on a three mile trail. Then the pack arrived, Well, only three of us, Its Too Soft, Eat My Pussy, and Horn-E. But we headed out into the heat and probably did closer to four miles with the Checking and stuff. We all took turns leading the trail and finally Horn-E led to a Check at California and Montrose, after not having a beer stop in the park. So Horn-E went West to a False, and Eat My Pussy headed east and found trail. As Horn-E returned towards the Check, he ranged one block north hoping to come across trail. Then heading east one block and there was trail and the Beer Stop in this small triangle park, and the two hares, and ice cold water and beer. Finally Its Too Soft ranged off of the Check and straight north and after one block he arrived. Eventually Eat My Pussy finished off the trail correctly and came on in. Back at the finish, SnatchSquatch's garage, he announced that their would be no hash cash as he was just using up some beer laying around the house. Thanks. Then we held the lamest circle ever at a SCH3 hash, the home of the sitting circles. Then we hung around and actually talked politics, agreeing and disagreeing and never arguing, just stating experiences, ideas, attitudes, etc. All politics should be that peaceful. See what a hash and cold beer can accomplish.

I also want to thank those that laid these last three hashes. I actually spent more on transportation, and I get senior citizen rates, then I did on Hash Cash. For that there were three very hot hashes, two hot meals and a lot of cold beer.  For me, it was one hell of a good weekend. Special thanks, Lower Wackoff, Son Of Spam, Cums On All Base and SnatchSquatch.

On Mon, Jun 15, 2018, The Chicago Hash had a Putt Putt In My Butt and Just Jen trail from Parrots for 17 hounds. It started out with a straight trail south, but soon got into some twisting turns that led over to Lincoln Park (good) and the lake front (good) before more twists and turns until the pack arrived at a beer stop in a little park a block from the bar. Then someone chased the pack out and they went back to the bar. 

Then on Tue, Jun 26, 2018The Chicago Full Moon Hash was led by Lifa. We had 8 hounds including the late coming Lower Wackoff and Son Of Spam and the lost soul, Horn-E. Horn-E got behind at the first Check as he wandered off down an alley. But he ran on and fell behind further and further and finally came out of passing under some tracks to rain, and no mark. The pack was long gone and a real heavy rain was expected. So Horn-E ranged in the direction he thought the hare would go. Never try to out guess the hare. He went east and the trail went west. eventually Horn-E had to head to the possible beer stop and found the hare and a spare umbrella. About ten minutes later the soggy pack of throughly soaked hounds came on in and we held a brief outdoor circle under some trees and the rain slowed down to a drizzle.

On the third day, Jun 27, 2018, there was The Whiskey Wednesday Hash, Hooch B4 Cooch laid trail from The Empty Bottle for six hounds. We ran on and on and slowly split into three packs of two each. I was with Waiting For Two Black Guys and we fell behind early. He couldn't run much and I can't run for shit. We finally hit a Split and I managed to spot Its Too Soft about two blocks away and running into a park. We followed and finally caught him in the park. At this point we thought everyone was way up front. But along came Berts Special Friend to join us and he and Its Too Soft mainly stayed together and on and off ran ahead. Meanwhile we tried to keep up. Then after the park and a big loop, we were suddenly passed by Son Of Spam and Dick Hermonica. Suddenly we were all together and then Split right away again into the three packs. We had one more Check and two just headed back, two of us were off trail and found marks and finally deduced that they were from a Check and also gave up not finding a third mark. Eventually Its Too Soft and Berts Special Friend came in last, but the only two hounds to do it all.

Finally we have the fourth day Jun 28, 2018, of hashing in a row with a Thirstday Hash, A to B out of Beaumonts. Soul Taco and Silent But Deadly hared for a pack of 19. The trail headed west and I fell behind, eventually following two visitors after a SN Check and they headed down an alley with only two marks, finally returning. Then we saw some people ahead in the other end of that alley and assumed that was On. It wasn't. Finally we got on track and got to the shot stop. Shortly after we back tracked and went to another SS that was about a half mile away, in Dr. Cockvorkian's gangway. I ran on and worked my way to Armitage and a Check. Heading the wrong way, most of the pack found there way to a beer Stop at Pearl Vision's. Meanwhile I was ranging around Oz Park and Hooch B4 Cooch ran by and into the park yelling something about being on a mark. I never saw it and he just headed towards the NE corner without any marks. I later found there was a Check there. Meanwhile I worked the park and then found a few hashers coming out of an alley yelling On to the east. There was a bad mark there, but the hare was waving us to the south and that beer stop. That was it for me. To many stops and my recovery is slow. As we took off again, I walked and some ran and some walked. I fell behind and followed the trail north on Lincoln. One block north the trail crossed the street and there was a Split pointing north and east. I assumed the park for the finish or next beer stop. Wrong. By the time I returned, I added to damn much to the trail and finally found the true trail to the north east. After this it was simple and kept going towards Its To Soft's roof with few diversions. Would have been nice if I knew that was the destination as some knew. By the time I got there, they were well into circle and I just grabbed a beer and sat on the far end of the roof for some recovery and relaxation time before finally joining the circle. Looked like a good circle with visitors and virgins. After there were Brats and hot dogs.

On Thu, 21 Jun 2018, Menstrual Casserole laid her anniversary hash from Miska's. We had a low turnout of only 9 hounds for a beautiful night of hashing with cool temperatures. While the trail was a nice course, the marks were hard to follow due to being to far spaced, especially at Checks. From the back of the pack, where I was as usual, along with Famming Flaggot. We lost the pack completely between the first and second Check, due to a bunch catching a short cut that we missed. Then the Second Check was marked wrong and almost invisible. But we ran, walked on. Then we had a check at Irving Park were the trail was again marked absolutely wrong. A bad mark can and often is, worse then no marks at all. Then add in two blocks to the first true trail mark and we just couldn't catch up. At this Check we got split up and individually ranged until regrouping at another Check at Addison and Western. Unmarked. I ran in two separate directions before returning and with Famming Flaggot we headed west and finally found a mark. Then a Split. Then nothing else. Sorry, but we couldn't find the mark and that was the last Check before B. We missed it. So, not finding any third mark, we headed back to the bar. About 1:45 minutes. And of course everyone was there waiting for us. Circle was much smaller then we usually have at Miska's, but a good time.

Thu Jun 14, 2018,  was the start of the 40th Anniversary of Hashing in Chicago with Horn-E laying a trail from the Double Bubble. A pack of about 20 took off towards Loyola and then worked its way past the hares house for a beer stop. But it wasn't there. Somehow about half the pack found the beer stop by not following trail and guessing where it might be and entered this little park from the north. The rest followed the trail and finally found the park from the south. From here we returned to the bar where Gay Dancer led a nice circle in the beer Garden. 

On Fri Jun 15, 2018, we had,The First Crack of the Moon Hash set by Son Of Spam from The Wise Owl. A nice pack of about fifteen hounds followed trail to a small park where we held circle. I left shortly after while the pack headed back to the bar and I heard they drank late into the night.

On Sat Jun 16, 2018, we started with a short Bushman Hash. Seventeen hounds on trail. Wow. It was from Dam #4 Woods and a prelube to the main Celebration Hash. When I arrived I found that it rained real hard overnight and the picnic area had spots with about 3 inches of water. Right in the direction of the planned trail. Well, if we are going to get wet, it might as well be right at the start. Trail headed through some woods and finally across Devon for the serious woods. A boring trail along the river, or winding in the woods. Winding in the woods was planned and there were patches of water that we couldn't get around. Eventually the trail veered away from the river into some serious brush. I knew there was a prairie, but getting to it was a problem. Finally we emerged at a path of sorts. Three parallel paths like they were made by a three wheel car. And all full of water, three to five inches and slippery. Trail finally got through the prairie and into some nice woods and finally to a muddy tunnel under Devon. From there is was a bike path to B. Beer was on a peninsula into a swamp, but one crazy wanker just plunged mid thigh deep in the swamp to retrieve the beer. I got a quick Down Down and left them to a Bushman circle so I could lay the next part of the trail.


Sat, Jun 16, 2018, I had a last minute Co Hare, Snotcho Mama, and he helped save the day. We took off for some quick woods and then headed for the river. When scouted on Wed, it was muddy, but looked like it would dry by Sat. But those damn rains in our wettest June in history. It was now deep in river overflow and full of floating ground clutter and such. Since the trail would just parallel a higher level path, we went for the path. Most of the pack would have done that anyway. And we sort of followed this path on and off until we hit Touhy. And it was slippery and with occasional water areas. After crossing the river we had a T and E trail.
Snotcho Mama went straight on Touhy to a large picnic area and gave the Turkeys a twisting course through the area to the First Beer Stop.
Meanwhile I headed into the Eagle trail, mostly paralleling the river through fairly open forest. When planning the trail I headed inland and eventually saw a swamp I missed. This time, with high waters, I headed inland sooner and found a nice forest to run through and there was that beautiful swamp. Reeds that were 12 to 15 feet high. I couldn't resist. I headed straight into the reeds. While the live growth was high and formidable looking, when I got into it I found that the previous years dead growth was criss crossed in fromt of me making forward progress almost impossible. Just forcing myself through for about 30 yards. It had to be well over fifteen minutes to get through this mess including climbing over fallen trees and three inches of water. From here it was a short bit of woods to the beer stop.
After the beer stop we headed to the south and another T and E split, Turkey was set by me, just straight south along River Road. The woods to the left were impassible and would not have been fun if we could have gotten in and out of them.
Meanwhile Snotcho Mama crossed the street into a zone of hotels and offices and made the trail up as he went along, including one wall climbing. We had to do the best we could with a bad situation.
Then we hit beer stop number 2, on Devon and just south of the finish. Turkey could have a beer and walk back.
Eagles had one more section and we were off laying this section through woods that were fairly open when we suddenly heard the Eagles yelling On On. We were about to get caught. Snotcho Mama yelled, I'll set a long Back Check and took off to the east and after laying the Back Check, he circled back to me. Meanwhile I set off into another prairie, laying TP as I ran through almost invisible and over grown paths where I attempted a few Splits and forks in the paths. We finally rejoined to the west of the prairie and headed back to the On In part of the trail, along that same bike path the Bushman finished on. And soon Hooch Br Cooch came running on by.
As we finished, Hashers were hitting the local fresh water pump to clean up a bit. Feather got the grill going with chicken, burgers, hot dogs and other goodies. After grub, Horn-E set out three blocks of ice for the circle. USS Cum On My Face led the circle and we pretty much all got on ice multiple times on a long and fun circle. After circle it was pretty much clean up and go home. And we did. Great time.

Sun was to be a hangover hash set by Rag Time Hash and The Cock Whisperer and Rusty Grundel. I was to hung over, well, not really. Just whipped and needing a day off. Hope it all went well.

Mon Nun 18, 2018, was the Chicago Hash set by Hooch B4 Cooch and Dr Cockvorkian and the 40th Anniversary of the Chicago Hash. More damn rain. 22 hounds got about 1.5 miles into the course when they hit, hard and whiped out all sense of trailI was with a pack of six and someone got on Facebook and found the Beer Stop was three blocks away at the back yard of Menstrual Casserole. From there, Hooch B4 Cooch laid another quick trail to the parking area behind Its Too Soft's condo. Finfishing a keg from Sat. Then we went back to Durkins for a fun circle where the virgins were quite prominent in getting nailed for many down Downs. Welcome mon Just Candy and daughter, Just Stacy.

Jun 18, 2018, The actual 40th Anniversay of Hashing in Chicago. Horn-E laid a trail from Big Joe's. We had 8 hounds for a promised short laid back trail and it was. Second Cuming came in first in about 298 minutes. Its Too Soft led the rest about five minutes later with Just Bob pulling up the rear. A quick beer stop and back to the bar for a laid back, sitting circle that we did Full moon style and we just kept going on and on through about 8 pitchers. And we named Just Bob, Magnetic Muffs loooong time friend, StuffinMuffin.


Thu was the start of the 40th Anniversary of Hashing in Chicago with Horn-E laying a trail from the Double Bubble. A pack of about 20 took off towards Loyola and then worked its way past the hares house for a beer stop. But it wasn't there. Somehow about half the pack found the beer stop by not following trail and guessing where it might be and entered this little park from the north. The rest followed the trail and finally found the park from the south. From here we returned to the bar where Gay Dancer led a nice circle in the beer Garden.  On Fri we had,The First Crack of the Moon Hash set by Son Of Spam from The Wise Owl. A nice pack of about fifteen hounds followed trail to a small park where we held circle. I left shortly after while the pack headed back to the bar and I heard they drank late into the night. On Sat we started with a short Bushman Hash. Seventeen hounds on trail. Wow. It was from Dam #4 Woods and a prelube to the main Celebration Hash. When I arrived I found that it rained real hard overnight and the picnic area had spots with about 3 inches of water. Right in the direction of the planned trail. Well, if we are going to get wet, it might as well be right at the start. Trail headed through some woods and finally across Devon for the serious woods. A boring trail along the river, or winding in the woods. Winding in the woods was planned and there were patches of water that we couldn't get around. Eventually the trail veered away from the river into some serious brush. I knew there was a prairie, but getting to it was a problem. Finally we emerged at a path of sorts. Three parallel paths like they were made by a three wheel car. And all full of water, three to five inches and slippery. Trail finally got through the prairie and into some nice woods and finally to a muddy tunnel under Devon. From there is was a bike path to B. Beer was on a peninsula into a swamp, but one crazy wanker just plunged mid thigh deep in the swamp to retrieve the beer. I got a quick Down Down and left them to a Bushman circle so I could lay the next part of the trail. I had a last minute Co Hare, Snotcho Mama, and he helped save the day. We took off for some quick woods and then headed for the river. When scouted on Wed, it was muddy, but looked like it would dry by Sat. But those damn rains in our wettest June in history. It was now deep in river overflow and full of floating ground clutter and such. Since the trail would just parallel a higher level path, we went for the path. Most of the pack would have done that anyway. And we sort of followed this path on and off until we hit Touhy. And it was slippery and with occasional water areas. After crossing the river we had a T and E trail. Snotcho Mama went straight on Touhy to a large picnic area and gave the Turkeys a twisting course through the area to the First Beer Stop. Meanwhile I headed into the Eagle trail, mostly paralleling the river through fairly open forest. When planning the trail I headed inland and eventually saw a swamp I missed. This time, with high waters, I headed inland sooner and found a nice forest to run through and there was that beautiful swamp. Reeds that were 12 to 15 feet high. I couldn't resist. I headed straight into the reeds. While the live growth was high and formidable looking, when I got into it I found that the previous years dead growth was criss crossed in fromt of me making forward progress almost impossible. Just forcing myself through for about 30 yards. It had to be well over fifteen minutes to get through this mess including climbing over fallen trees and three inches of water. From here it was a short bit of woods to the beer stop. After the beer stop we headed to the south and another T and E split, Turkey was set by me, just straight south along River Road. The woods to the left were impassible and would not have been fun if we could have gotten in and out of them. Meanwhile Snotcho Mama crossed the street into a zone of hotels and offices and made the trail up as he went along, including one wall climbing. We had to do the best we could with a bad situation. Then we hit beer stop number 2, on Devon and just south of the finish. Turkey could have a beer and walk back. Eagles had one more section and we were off laying this section through woods that were fairly open when we suddenly heard the Eagles yelling On On. We were about to get caught. Snotcho Mama yelled, I'll set a long Back Check and took off to the east and after laying the Back Check, he circled back to me. Meanwhile I set off into another prairie, laying TP as I ran through almost invisible and over grown paths where I attempted a few Splits and forks in the paths. We finally rejoined to the west of the prairie and headed back to the On In part of the trail, along that same bike path the Bushman finished on. And soon Hooch Br Cooch came running on by. As we finished, Hashers were hitting the local fresh water pump to clean up a bit. Feather got the grill going with chicken, burgers, hot dogs and other goodies. After grub, Horn-E set out three blocks of ice for the circle. USS Cum On My Face led the circle and we pretty much all got on ice multiple times on a long and fun circle. After circle it was pretty much clean up and go home. And we did. Great time. Sun was to be a hangover hash set by Rag Time Hash and The Cock Whisperer and Rusty Grundel. I was to hung over, well, not really. Just whipped and needing a day off. Hope it all went well. Mon was the Chicago Hash set by Hooch B4 Cooch and Dr Cockvorkian and the 40th Anniversary of the Chicago Hash. More damn rain. 22 hounds got about 1.5 miles into the course when they hit, hard and whiped out all sense of trailI was with a pack of six and someone got on Facebook and found the Beer Stop was three blocks away at the back yard of Menstrual Casserole. From there, Hooch B4 Cooch laid another quick trail to the parking area behind Its Too Soft's condo. Finfishing a keg from Sat. Then we went back to Durkins for a fun circle where the virgins were quite prominent in getting nailed for many down Downs. Welcome mon Just Candy and daughter, Just Stacy. The actual 40th Anniversay of Hashing in Chicago. Horn-E laid a trail from Big Joe's. We had 8 hounds for a promised short laid back trail and it was. Second Cuming came in first in about 298 minutes. Its Too Soft led the rest about five minutes later with Just Bob pulling up the rear. A quick beer stop and back to the bar for a laid back, sitting circle that we did Full moon style and we just kept going on and on through about 8 pitchers. And we named Just Bob, Magnetic Muffs loooong time friend, StuffinMuffin. On On Horn-E Thu was the start of the 40th Anniversary of Hashing in Chicago with Horn-E laying a trail from the Double Bubble. A pack of about 20 took off towards Loyola and then worked its way past the hares house for a beer stop. But it wasn't there. Somehow about half the pack found the beer stop by not following trail and guessing where it might be and entered this little park from the north. The rest followed the trail and finally found the park from the south. From here we returned to the bar where Gay Dancer led a nice circle in the beer Garden.  On Fri we had,The First Crack of the Moon Hash set by Son Of Spam from The Wise Owl. A nice pack of about fifteen hounds followed trail to a small park where we held circle. I left shortly after while the pack headed back to the bar and I heard they drank late into the night. On Sat we started with a short Bushman Hash. Seventeen hounds on trail. Wow. It was from Dam #4 Woods and a prelube to the main Celebration Hash. When I arrived I found that it rained real hard overnight and the picnic area had spots with about 3 inches of water. Right in the direction of the planned trail. Well, if we are going to get wet, it might as well be right at the start. Trail headed through some woods and finally across Devon for the serious woods. A boring trail along the river, or winding in the woods. Winding in the woods was planned and there were patches of water that we couldn't get around. Eventually the trail veered away from the river into some serious brush. I knew there was a prairie, but getting to it was a problem. Finally we emerged at a path of sorts. Three parallel paths like they were made by a three wheel car. And all full of water, three to five inches and slippery. Trail finally got through the prairie and into some nice woods and finally to a muddy tunnel under Devon. From there is was a bike path to B. Beer was on a peninsula into a swamp, but one crazy wanker just plunged mid thigh deep in the swamp to retrieve the beer. I got a quick Down Down and left them to a Bushman circle so I could lay the next part of the trail. I had a last minute Co Hare, Snotcho Mama, and he helped save the day. We took off for some quick woods and then headed for the river. When scouted on Wed, it was muddy, but looked like it would dry by Sat. But those damn rains in our wettest June in history. It was now deep in river overflow and full of floating ground clutter and such. Since the trail would just parallel a higher level path, we went for the path. Most of the pack would have done that anyway. And we sort of followed this path on and off until we hit Touhy. And it was slippery and with occasional water areas. After crossing the river we had a T and E trail. Snotcho Mama went straight on Touhy to a large picnic area and gave the Turkeys a twisting course through the area to the First Beer Stop. Meanwhile I headed into the Eagle trail, mostly paralleling the river through fairly open forest. When planning the trail I headed inland and eventually saw a swamp I missed. This time, with high waters, I headed inland sooner and found a nice forest to run through and there was that beautiful swamp. Reeds that were 12 to 15 feet high. I couldn't resist. I headed straight into the reeds. While the live growth was high and formidable looking, when I got into it I found that the previous years dead growth was criss crossed in fromt of me making forward progress almost impossible. Just forcing myself through for about 30 yards. It had to be well over fifteen minutes to get through this mess including climbing over fallen trees and three inches of water. From here it was a short bit of woods to the beer stop. After the beer stop we headed to the south and another T and E split, Turkey was set by me, just straight south along River Road. The woods to the left were impassible and would not have been fun if we could have gotten in and out of them. Meanwhile Snotcho Mama crossed the street into a zone of hotels and offices and made the trail up as he went along, including one wall climbing. We had to do the best we could with a bad situation. Then we hit beer stop number 2, on Devon and just south of the finish. Turkey could have a beer and walk back. Eagles had one more section and we were off laying this section through woods that were fairly open when we suddenly heard the Eagles yelling On On. We were about to get caught. Snotcho Mama yelled, I'll set a long Back Check and took off to the east and after laying the Back Check, he circled back to me. Meanwhile I set off into another prairie, laying TP as I ran through almost invisible and over grown paths where I attempted a few Splits and forks in the paths. We finally rejoined to the west of the prairie and headed back to the On In part of the trail, along that same bike path the Bushman finished on. And soon Hooch Br Cooch came running on by. As we finished, Hashers were hitting the local fresh water pump to clean up a bit. Feather got the grill going with chicken, burgers, hot dogs and other goodies. After grub, Horn-E set out three blocks of ice for the circle. USS Cum On My Face led the circle and we pretty much all got on ice multiple times on a long and fun circle. After circle it was pretty much clean up and go home. And we did. Great time. Sun was to be a hangover hash set by Rag Time Hash and The Cock Whisperer and Rusty Grundel. I was to hung over, well, not really. Just whipped and needing a day off. Hope it all went well. Mon was the Chicago Hash set by Hooch B4 Cooch and Dr Cockvorkian and the 40th Anniversary of the Chicago Hash. More damn rain. 22 hounds got about 1.5 miles into the course when they hit, hard and whiped out all sense of trailI was with a pack of six and someone got on Facebook and found the Beer Stop was three blocks away at the back yard of Menstrual Casserole. From there, Hooch B4 Cooch laid another quick trail to the parking area behind Its Too Soft's condo. Finfishing a keg from Sat. Then we went back to Durkins for a fun circle where the virgins were quite prominent in getting nailed for many down Downs. Welcome mon Just Candy and daughter, Just Stacy. The actual 40th Anniversay of Hashing in Chicago. Horn-E laid a trail from Big Joe's. We had 8 hounds for a promised short laid back trail and it was. Second Cuming came in first in about 298 minutes. Its Too Soft led the rest about five minutes later with Just Bob pulling up the rear. A quick beer stop and back to the bar for a laid back, sitting circle that we did Full moon style and we just kept going on and on through about 8 pitchers. And we named Just Bob, Magnetic Muffs loooong time friend, StuffinMuffin. On On Horn-E Thu was the start of the 40th Anniversary of Hashing in Chicago with Horn-E laying a trail from the Double Bubble. A pack of about 20 took off towards Loyola and then worked its way past the hares house for a beer stop. But it wasn't there. Somehow about half the pack found the beer stop by not following trail and guessing where it might be and entered this little park from the north. The rest followed the trail and finally found the park from the south. From here we returned to the bar where Gay Dancer led a nice circle in the beer Garden.  On Fri we had,The First Crack of the Moon Hash set by Son Of Spam from The Wise Owl. A nice pack of about fifteen hounds followed trail to a small park where we held circle. I left shortly after while the pack headed back to the bar and I heard they drank late into the night. On Sat we started with a short Bushman Hash. Seventeen hounds on trail. Wow. It was from Dam #4 Woods and a prelube to the main Celebration Hash. When I arrived I found that it rained real hard overnight and the picnic area had spots with about 3 inches of water. Right in the direction of the planned trail. Well, if we are going to get wet, it might as well be right at the start. Trail headed through some woods and finally across Devon for the serious woods. A boring trail along the river, or winding in the woods. Winding in the woods was planned and there were patches of water that we couldn't get around. Eventually the trail veered away from the river into some serious brush. I knew there was a prairie, but getting to it was a problem. Finally we emerged at a path of sorts. Three parallel paths like they were made by a three wheel car. And all full of water, three to five inches and slippery. Trail finally got through the prairie and into some nice woods and finally to a muddy tunnel under Devon. From there is was a bike path to B. Beer was on a peninsula into a swamp, but one crazy wanker just plunged mid thigh deep in the swamp to retrieve the beer. I got a quick Down Down and left them to a Bushman circle so I could lay the next part of the trail. I had a last minute Co Hare, Snotcho Mama, and he helped save the day. We took off for some quick woods and then headed for the river. When scouted on Wed, it was muddy, but looked like it would dry by Sat. But those damn rains in our wettest June in history. It was now deep in river overflow and full of floating ground clutter and such. Since the trail would just parallel a higher level path, we went for the path. Most of the pack would have done that anyway. And we sort of followed this path on and off until we hit Touhy. And it was slippery and with occasional water areas. After crossing the river we had a T and E trail. Snotcho Mama went straight on Touhy to a large picnic area and gave the Turkeys a twisting course through the area to the First Beer Stop. Meanwhile I headed into the Eagle trail, mostly paralleling the river through fairly open forest. When planning the trail I headed inland and eventually saw a swamp I missed. This time, with high waters, I headed inland sooner and found a nice forest to run through and there was that beautiful swamp. Reeds that were 12 to 15 feet high. I couldn't resist. I headed straight into the reeds. While the live growth was high and formidable looking, when I got into it I found that the previous years dead growth was criss crossed in fromt of me making forward progress almost impossible. Just forcing myself through for about 30 yards. It had to be well over fifteen minutes to get through this mess including climbing over fallen trees and three inches of water. From here it was a short bit of woods to the beer stop. After the beer stop we headed to the south and another T and E split, Turkey was set by me, just straight south along River Road. The woods to the left were impassible and would not have been fun if we could have gotten in and out of them. Meanwhile Snotcho Mama crossed the street into a zone of hotels and offices and made the trail up as he went along, including one wall climbing. We had to do the best we could with a bad situation. Then we hit beer stop number 2, on Devon and just south of the finish. Turkey could have a beer and walk back. Eagles had one more section and we were off laying this section through woods that were fairly open when we suddenly heard the Eagles yelling On On. We were about to get caught. Snotcho Mama yelled, I'll set a long Back Check and took off to the east and after laying the Back Check, he circled back to me. Meanwhile I set off into another prairie, laying TP as I ran through almost invisible and over grown paths where I attempted a few Splits and forks in the paths. We finally rejoined to the west of the prairie and headed back to the On In part of the trail, along that same bike path the Bushman finished on. And soon Hooch Br Cooch came running on by. As we finished, Hashers were hitting the local fresh water pump to clean up a bit. Feather got the grill going with chicken, burgers, hot dogs and other goodies. After grub, Horn-E set out three blocks of ice for the circle. USS Cum On My Face led the circle and we pretty much all got on ice multiple times on a long and fun circle. After circle it was pretty much clean up and go home. And we did. Great time. Sun was to be a hangover hash set by Rag Time Hash and The Cock Whisperer and Rusty Grundel. I was to hung over, well, not really. Just whipped and needing a day off. Hope it all went well. Mon was the Chicago Hash set by Hooch B4 Cooch and Dr Cockvorkian and the 40th Anniversary of the Chicago Hash. More damn rain. 22 hounds got about 1.5 miles into the course when they hit, hard and whiped out all sense of trailI was with a pack of six and someone got on Facebook and found the Beer Stop was three blocks away at the back yard of Menstrual Casserole. From there, Hooch B4 Cooch laid another quick trail to the parking area behind Its Too Soft's condo. Finfishing a keg from Sat. Then we went back to Durkins for a fun circle where the virgins were quite prominent in getting nailed for many down Downs. Welcome mon Just Candy and daughter, Just Stacy. The actual 40th Anniversay of Hashing in Chicago. Horn-E laid a trail from Big Joe's. We had 8 hounds for a promised short laid back trail and it was. Second Cuming came in first in about 298 minutes. Its Too Soft led the rest about five minutes later with Just Bob pulling up the rear. A quick beer stop and back to the bar for a laid back, sitting circle that we did Full moon style and we just kept going on and on through about 8 pitchers. And we named Just Bob, Magnetic Muffs loooong time friend, StuffinMuffin. On On Horn-E Last Week: Last Week:

On Tue May 8, 2018,we had a pick up hash set by Lifa and Just Michael. We had eight hounds. Not bad for an impromptu hash, The hares ran us past about every beer stop we use in the area before holding in in a parking lot across the street from Double Bubble. We had one visitor, Screams Do Cum Thru from the Skull N Boner Hash in Conneticunt. She managed to keep Horn-E running most of the way, but they still almost came in last. 

Then on Thu, May 10, 2018,  the Thirstday Hash was set by Lifa. Yes, again. this time from Rose's and another different beer stop as he ran us on a twisting trail and lost Horn-E. Yes, again. But we had a nice circle in the bar and the bar tender loves us. We also had 18 hounds on trail.

Then on Sat May 12, 2018, we had a Big Dog Hash thirteenth Analversary hash where it all started, Caldwell Woods. This time the hare was, yes again, Lifa. Is he trying to dominate Chicago Hashing. This time we had a surprising 8 hounds on trail. It started out like Noah was planning the trail. As I approached the area, the rain started. And it poured, wiping out the trail. But there was a field house and we all gathered there. Finally Lifa took off to relay the trail. Out in the woods we headed, only to get a quick Back Check. This led to some serious shiggy along the river and a Check near Milwaukee. The road, not the city. Horn-E guessed right and went left and somehow found trail and led the pack through three more Checks before the King Of Bedbugs took over and led us through some streets and alleys and doing all of the wrong ways on Splits until we came back to the woods. And there was Lifa, waiting with beer, right by the first Back Check. After the Beer Stop we headed for a pavilion where we froze through a short circle and some good brats, polish and burgers before finally giving up and leaving. Good time.

Okay, the next hash was on Mon. May 14, 2018, The Chicago Hash. I was told it would be USS Cum On My Face as the hare of our first CH3 Monday night trail from Redmonds.our first CH3 Monday night trail from Redmonds. our first Monday night hash of the year. Not. He never showed. Somehow we got three taking credit for haring. What did Menstrual Casserole do? Silent But Deadly meanwhile laid trail twice and when I arrived, it was a total washout. That's two hares that weren't leaving the bar. But Gay Dancer, our exulted Grand Master grabbed some chalk and went out to relay a total washed out trail. He had us wandering all over the place as we manged to run On and On for 55 minutes. And the winner was, Horn-E. Well, actually, the three of us, including Its Too Soft and Eat My Pussy, managed to mostly stay together, while taking turns leading the pack. And we arrived at the last Triple split almost together. Horn-E got to pick second and was on and so he came in first. BFD. And Its Too Soft actually left the Checks and Splits and found some on his own. But we managed a fun circle and we named the manager of Redmonds, COM, as in Cum On Monday. He plans to join us. On Monday. Now, where were the rest of the Chicago Hashers? We are on Monday nights now. When I joined hashing in prehistory, we used to get about 50 hounds for the first Monday night trail. Three? The rain stopped and the weather was great. Lets get out there.

On Tue, 1 May 2018, we had an A to B Chicago Full Moon Hash out of Harringtons, set by Delta Ten Freakuency and Stiffy 4 Stiffies. He said she planned most of it with a map and everything, and he only tweaked it a little. For a relatively new hare, well'''''', not toooo baaaad. Really, she twisted us around the area quite well. But the trail get strung out with a front pack and a back pack. Yep, I was in that pack. We eventually lost Menage A Twat. Getting to long. Then we struggled in an alley before Horn-E found trail through a gangway. Then we hit a Check at Clark and Belmont, with an arrow with a question mark on it. I ran a long, long way before finding out there were only two arrows. Coming back, we started over and Meat Inside Her checked to the west, then east, finding nothing. She didn't go far enough to the west. So, I started the tactic of ever widening circles, looking for a mark. Eventually I found the trail while the others knew where the finish was and headed straight to Its Too Soft's roof deck. Meanwhile I ran on, west, south, west, north, and finally a BN. Then two marks later was a Back Check. auugghh!!!. Now why didn't someone in the front pack mark that point I had to run back to. Damn. South and east and past an unmarked Check and finally to the roof deck. Circle was going on. I grabbed a beer and headed off to a corner to rest a bit and rehydrate (yes especially that).

Thu May 3, 2018, was the Thirstday Hash set by Cumma Slutra and 69 Cent Man, the annual Polish Constitution Day Hash from Bialystok. What is the point of this hash? To prove that the Polish can pass off ten year old beer, kept in a garage for ten years through heat wave and freezing, and still pass it off to tired thirsty old hashers as long as it is on ice? I digress. The pack was off on time. I wasn't there on time. But I ran on after them and most of the Splits and Checks were marked. I finally caught four walkers and passed them. Then around the block I had to pass them again, and then again and yet one more time before getting to the usual beer stop on a front porch. After one of the cold current PBRs, we headed back to the bar where our Grand Mattress led us in circle and did a good job. Well, sort of. We helped with a lot od songs and she finished off with the days of the week. The virgins seemed to enjoy the circle and hopefully wll return. All was good and the beer was cold.

Sun 6 May 2018, was the anal Cinco De Mayonaise Hash, again not on the fifth of May. It was set by TampOn TampOff from Simone's and was supposed to be A to B. Was food served. Hot Tampons? Was Rosie there?

On Wed, Apr 25, 2018, we had the The Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Puzzled In The Sack from the Bar On Buena. There were 15 hounds on trail and the trail headed a bit south east to the edge of Lincoln Park before heading north and eventually in to the park for a Whiskey Stop. The trail then weaved a bit as it headed north before back into the dreaded city streets. We worked our way south and towards the hares house. Whiskey Stop!!!. Not. The hare sucked us all in and the lights were out. Well done. The trail went on to the park and then back west along Montrose to the El Tracks and south to Buena for a beer stop. Beer Stop? This is Whiskey Wednesday. Whiskey stops and a short circle. The hell with what Horn-E drinks. But the beer was cold, even of only Coors Light. After a short circle we went back to the Bar On Buena where our favorite bartender in all of Chicago was working. Smells Like Twat Sweat. And good service too.

Then we had a Thu, Apr 26, 2018, Thirstday Hash the next day. It was Just Michaels virgin lay and he had Horn-E showing him the ropes. Actually it was a great hash. Would I lie. Well, probably. But I won't talk about how great I thought it was. Here are the bitches I heard. To much running alleys along Lincoln Ave. Too obvious. Got hung up near Trader Joes. Hey, the check only had two Falses. And to damn much straight north on Ravenswood. Even with the two zig zags we added. But finally the hash got to the finish at a park at Montrose and Lincoln as Second Coming led almost the whole pack in at the same time. Well, Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Mommys Little Accident did come in about 3 or 4 minutes later. Any time I can nail a few FRBs and they come in DFL, I'll take it. Good sign of a good hash. Maybe. Back at the bar we had a good circle and as the only people in the bar, we could sing anything we wanted.

On Sun, Apr 29, 2018, was The Chicago Hash set by Gay Dancer and Silent But Deadly from the Chicago Historical Museum at the southern tip of Lincoln Park. The pack had just left to I dropped off my shag bag and was off to the races. But the trail didn't head into the park on a beautiful cloudless day. No, south through an alley and pavement pounding the whole way. Splits and Checks were swept. Good. Sweep marks had two glaring errors along the way. Bad.  Hooch B4 Cooch, another late comer, caught me along Division and we got to a Check at La Salle on the south east corner. It had a sweep mark pointing straight south. Two blocks later and we had no marks. Coming back on the WEST side of the street and we found marks at Division and La Salle on the WEST side of the street. That might have helped to point the sweep marks across the street to another path. But we ran on. About two blocks later there was a Split. West and south. South was marked. Two blocks later there were no marks. Returning on the WEST side of the street, there was a arrow found pointing south west into a park. That is six extra blocks. But I ran on and it was just some simple trail that eventually led to a long straight on Larrabee. A block to the west and north on another long block. Would we have a beer stop in Oz Park. Not hardly. At Armitage we had a right turn and five straight blocks towards Lincoln Park. Finally a Check at Lincoln and we headed north and east to the entrance to the Zoo. Straight through and then two blocks north to a Triple Split at Fullerton. Marked left, the trail headed west to Stockton and a long straight trail south. Passed the Zoo entrance we just entered. Now here would have been a good point for a sweep to mark a short cut to the south around that boring loop. Two blocks later we had our last Check. Finally we head straight into the park. But over a bridge and that was the last mark I saw. Past a side path and a road and no marks. Returning to that path I ranged and went over the hill by the statue and still no marks. I finally saw a crowd of people at the end of the lagoon and it was the pack and the finish. Circle had already started and Roofie Ragu led a good circle. After circle the pack dissipated slowly and finally there were just four of us finishing off the beer in the setting sun on a beautiful day. I counted 28 in circle. Minus two hares and about five or six who didn't run and we had about 20 hounds on trail.

On On
Horn-E

On Wed, we had the The Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Puzzled In The Sack from the Bar On Buena. There were 15 hounds on trail and the trail headed a bit south east to the edge of Lincoln Park before heading north and eventually in to the park for a Whiskey Stop. The trail then weaved a bit as it headed north before back into the dreaded city streets. We worked our way south and towards the hares house. Whiskey Stop!!!. Not. The hare sucked us all in and the lights were out. Well done. The trail went on to the park and then back west along Montrose to the El Tracks and south to Buena for a beer stop. Beer Stop? This is Whiskey Wednesday. Whiskey stops and a short circle. The hell with what Horn-E drinks. But the beer was cold, even of only Coors Light. After a short circle we went back to the Bar On Buena where our favorite bartender in all of Chicago was working. Smells Like Twat Sweat. And good service too. Then we had a Thu, Thirstday Hash the next day. It was Just Michaels virgin lay and he had Horn-E showing him the ropes. Actually it was a great hash. Would I lie. Well, probably. But I won't talk about how great I thought it was. Here are the bitches I heard. To much running alleys along Lincoln Ave. Too obvious. Got hung up near Trader Joes. Hey, the check only had two Falses. And to damn much straight north on Ravenswood. Even with the two zig zags we added. But finally the hash got to the finish at a park at Montrose and Lincoln as Second Coming led almost the whole pack in at the same time. Well, Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Mommys Little Accident did come in about 3 or 4 minutes later. Any time I can nail a few FRBs and they come in DFL, I'll take it. Good sign of a good hash. Maybe. Back at the bar we had a good circle and as the only people in the bar, we could sing anything we wanted. On Sun was The Chicago Hash set by Gay Dancer and Silent But Deadly from the Chicago Historical Museum at the southern tip of Lincoln Park. The pack had just left to I dropped off my shag bag and was off to the races. But the trail didn't head into the park on a beautiful cloudless day. No, south through an alley and pavement pounding the whole way. Splits and Checks were swept. Good. Sweep marks had two glaring errors along the way. Bad.  Hooch B4 Cooch, another late comer, caught me along Division and we got to a Check at La Salle on the south east corner. It had a sweep mark pointing straight south. Two blocks later and we had no marks. Coming back on the WEST side of the street and we found marks at Division and La Salle on the WEST side of the street. That might have helped to point the sweep marks across the street to another path. But we ran on. About two blocks later there was a Split. West and south. South was marked. Two blocks later there were no marks. Returning on the WEST side of the street, there was a arrow found pointing south west into a park. That is six extra blocks. But I ran on and it was just some simple trail that eventually led to a long straight on Larrabee. A block to the west and north on another long block. Would we have a beer stop in Oz Park. Not hardly. At Armitage we had a right turn and five straight blocks towards Lincoln Park. Finally a Check at Lincoln and we headed north and east to the entrance to the Zoo. Straight through and then two blocks north to a Triple Split at Fullerton. Marked left, the trail headed west to Stockton and a long straight trail south. Passed the Zoo entrance we just entered. Now here would have been a good point for a sweep to mark a short cut to the south around that boring loop. Two blocks later we had our last Check. Finally we head straight into the park. But over a bridge and that was the last mark I saw. Past a side path and a road and no marks. Returning to that path I ranged and went over the hill by the statue and still no marks. I finally saw a crowd of people at the end of the lagoon and it was the pack and the finish. Circle had already started and Roofie Ragu led a good circle. After circle the pack dissipated slowly and finally there were just four of us finishing off the beer in the setting sun on a beautiful day. I counted 28 in circle. Minus two hares and about five or six who didn't run and we had about 20 hounds on trail. On On Horn-E
Last Week: 
On Tue, Apr 17, 2018, we had a First Crack of the Moon Hash set by Ice Princess and Jizzy from Weathermark Tavern. We had nine hounds on trail as they wound us around the south loop and into Grant Park and finally the usual park near the bar. Then we had a sitting circle in the bar and got around to naming Just Wendy. I was hoping for Ecuahor but we finally settled on, and I hope I have this spelling right, Delta Ten Freakquency. No I don't know why.

Thu, Apr 19, 2018, brought us our weekly Thirstday Hash from Irish Eyes and set by Furry Spice and Soul Taco. We had 15 hounds on trail and we ran to a quick shot stop within two or three blocks. From there it was north along Clark and then to the west. A big loop to the south and the usual park a block away for a quick beer stop. Then it was back to the bar for a quick circle.

On Sat Apr 21, 2018, morning Sandy Syphillis hosted and hared a Rag Time Hash from her apartment. Don't know who, what or anything else, but I'm sure it was a good time with lots of Champagne and brunch thingies.

The Bushman Hash was on Sat Apr 21, 2018, and Horn-E laid trail from Leckowitz Woods. This was to be the usual flower hash, but with the cold spring, I could barely spot a few hundred buds as compared to the usual millions of yellow flowers. So I set off to lay a normal Bushman trail. As I walked the trail I came near Caldwell Road. I try to avoid being near roads whenever possible, but trying to avoid wetlands for the pack, I came up to the road and along comes a car. Someone yells On On, but I don't recognize him in the shadows of the back of the car. I yelled out something to me, but I couldn't understand him with the traffic noises and he wasn't speaking English. He was speaking Australian. Duh. Somehow he found the start and at 2pm, with no one around, he took off on trail until the local tree police showed up. He then came back to the start and there was the pack forming. Two non runners, bad knees and hips, The Gas Stop Bob and Or G. But we had R-Tard-E, Lower Wackoff and False Advertising waiting to actually run. The Aussie is Just Steve and he will be around in the next several weeks. So the pack of four was soon off and I headed with the beer for the B stop along the river with the non runners. Eventually we saw the pack on the other side of the river while we were bird watching. Several hawks, either looking for lunch of feeling the warmer spring weather and looking for a comapnion. We had a cooler of beer and a nice easy going circle before heading to the Nil for a few more pitchers. And False Advertising took off quickly with the visitors bag in his trunk. Ooops. And we didn't have his phone number. But Gas Stop Bob managed to locate Lifa somewhere around the world and he came up with the number and False Advertising had to return to the bar and have another beer. Poor boy. 

Now Sun, Apr 22, 2018, was a way out of the normal range of the Chicago Hash as we ran from Rainbow Beach at 77th St and the Lakefront. Almost two hours for me to get there by pubic transit. And I barely made it before the pack was off. SnatchSquatch and Hobo Piss were the hares and Hobo Piss did a good job of sweeping for 14 hounds as we entered unknown territory. South through the park and then into old factory zones, now looking like a war zone without a building in sight, but many old roads and fields of shiggy. And the trail went on and on to the south and I was barely able to keep the leaders in sight and occasionally caught a little bit of a short cut. Eventually I saw the pack heading west and over Route 41 at 87th St. Another huge field and I found myself with a bit of a short cut and chasing FRBs across the field and near these huge concrete walls. I mean thick like fifteen feet at the base. We went towards the lake and finally around one of the walls and to a beer stop. Here we had a beer as hashers climbed over the no climbing signs and enjoyed the view. Then we were off again around the next wall and into the rape tunnel. Actually a long tunnel in the wall with many openings. This was all part of the old abandoned U. S. Steel plant and this tunnel had a purpose, but for us, it was something different to run through. At the end we ran along a slip from Lake Michigan. Probably for the old ore boats. No, not whore boats. Then we had to climb over the slip and past the dead birds floating below in the polluted water. From here it was back towards the lake and then long fields like we already ran with high weeds and abandoned roads to a final beer stop. Then a short run back through the park to the finish. We got out a grill and started cooking dogs and burgers and held a freezing circle in the cold winds off of the lake. From there I got a ride with Stiffy 4 Stiffes to the north side and saved over an hour travel time. Interesting historic hash. Someday it will all be sterilized housing and fancy parks and same ole same ole city running.
On Tue, there was a 4X2 Hash from Monks Pub. Actually a decent short trail set by Snotcho Mama with a lot of Backchecks and Falses and Checks to keep the pack together. Unfortunately there was only one hound, Horn-E and so there was no need to keep the pack together. And Horn-E found almost every False and Back Check and wrong directions at Checks turning a 3 mile trail into over 4.5. Damn. Then we stopped into Ogilvie Station for a quick beer so the hare could catch an early train. I looked at the taps and ordered a Founders. The hare ordered a Pinball. I tried to pay for my own, but he insisted on buying me a beer. He then got the bill on his credit card and it was $27. Unfreaking believable. Then the bar tender said that was because I got a large glass. It was only a freaking pint. We looked at the menu (provided after we ordered). Unbelievably Founders was listed at $17 for only 12 ounces. And I was poured 16 ounces. I sat there looking for the gold flakes floating in the beer. It was a stout and I've had three different ones since them and they all tasted better. WTF. If you ever have the urge to order a Founders beer. beware and make sure you get the price before ordering.


Tue had Lifa laying a trail from the Shamrock Club for the 4x2H4 hash. A turnout of only three hounds, but we managed to stay together for about a half hour. Then Snotcho Mama found a Check and was long gone before I even found we were at a Check. A little bit of snow and occasionally darkness and a few marks were missed. I missed the one to that Check. But Its Too Soft and myself eventually got back on trail and ran and checked, yes, Its Too Soft had to also, and the two of us ran on and on until we lost trail at a Check on Milwaukee. We ranged back towards the bar and I finally suggested that the trail might go to this little park along the river. There we found Snotcho Mama and Lifa. A quick beer and we were gone, back to the bar where no one even went in. Damn, I needed another one. One Hour and fifty minutes on trail for only four miles.  Check.

Thu was a virgin lay by Just Wendy and a co hare, Fetus Envy. Yeah, trouble there. Eleven hounds as we took off from Galaway Arms on an A to B trail. Mostly south at the start and I ended up behind with Son Of Spam and suddenly I spotted a T n E mark. Not mentioned in circle, but since the pack already left us behind to run around the lagoon by the zoo, we headed north. Eventually the trail came out of the park about a block north of the start and we found a Check at an alley. Also was a SN mark. I headed north into the alley and after going around a turn I found the third arrow and blow my horn. By now the main pack was catching up and Roofie Ragu ran on by me followed by the strung out pack. Unfortunately the Shot Stop went to the south in the alley. Lesson learned. The shot stop needs to be on true trail. Ooops. I heard only one person found it. We ran on with some difficulty due to turn arrows around corners causing us to miss a lot of them. We finally ended up in an alley for a beer stop and then a long walk to Galaway Bay for the B. We finally held a circle and the hares got there due.

Sat was a trail out on Woods on South Harlem for the Big Dog Hash, set by False Advertising. WE actually had 18 hounds. Instructionms were that we would be following little flags on the end of wire and every mark was a Check. We, they weren't and mostly easy to see the next mark and the pack was soon stretched out. I was running in back with Lower Wackoff and eventually three late comers passed. Well, two of them. Stiffy 4 Stiffies was running slow and hung over and even Horn-E beat him to the shot stop. From here we had to find the next flag and dig under neath it for something pointing the way of the true trail. It was a dirty skanky used and sticky dildo. And someone actually carried it back without a hazmat bag. Trail back was then relatively simple and straight forward. But Lower Wackoff still got lost and ended up following the flags backwards to find circle going when he got in. Good circle, Big Dog style. Then we had some quick grillables before the cold pack headed for warm kennels back home.

Sun was set by Rumple Stealskids and Ritlin Cum Bubble setting trail for CH3. Started alright and we were together for three blocks until the fist Check. Most of the pack was checking to the east when the trail was found to the south. Unfortunately the four of five of us that did that were left behind because the rest of the pack wandered east and picked up on trail and were gone. By the time I got out of the Target parking lot, I could see only two hashers in the distance headng east and then north. So I headed north and eventually was able to spot both Lifa and TampOn TampOff because of their green and red jackets. I followed the red jacket and headed north on California. Somewhere I lost him but found myself following another red jacket just jogging around this park. Ooops. But this did lead me to an On Back Check. After finally solving that, it was relatively straight back to the beer stop. Lifa, also running not on pack came up behind me and ran on. We got to the beer stop only to find SnatchSquatch waiting. He also was off trail, but had seen the Beer Stop on the way from his house. Sneaky bastard. And there we stood for about forty-five minutes before the pack arrived. Back at the bar we held a quick circle. The best entertainment was watching Its Too Soft fall asleep sitting on a chair three minutes into circle. After Circle the pack was gone quicker then a work force during an ICE raid in a meat packing plant. WTF.

Last Week: 
On Tue, we had a First Crack of the Moon Hash set by Ice Princess and Jizzy from Weathermark Tavern. We had nine hounds on trail as they wound us around the south loop and into Grant Park and finally the usual park near the bar. Then we had a sitting circle in the bar and got around to naming Just Wendy. I was hoping for Ecuahor but we finally settled on, and I hope I have this spelling right, Delta Ten Freakquency. No I don't know why.

Thu, brought us our weekly Thirstday Hash from Irish Eyes and set by Furry Spice and Soul Taco. We had 15 hounds on trail and we ran to a quick shot stop within two or three blocks. From there it was north along Clark and then to the west. A big loop to the south and the usual park a block away for a quick beer stop. Then it was back to the bar for a quick circle.

On Sat morning Sandy Syphillis hosted and hared a Rag Time Hash from her apartment. Don't know who, what or anything else, but I'm sure it was a good time with lots of Champagne and brunch thingies.

The Bushman Hash was on Sat and Horn-E laid trail from Leckowitz Woods. This was to be the usual flower hash, but with the cold spring, I could barely spot a few hundred buds as compared to the usual millions of yellow flowers. So I set off to lay a normal Bushman trail. As I walked the trail I came near Caldwell Road. I try to avoid being near roads whenever possible, but trying to avoid wetlands for the pack, I came up to the road and along comes a car. Someone yells On On, but I don't recognize him in the shadows of the back of the car. I yelled out something to me, but I couldn't understand him with the traffic noises and he wasn't speaking English. He was speaking Australian. Duh. Somehow he found the start and at 2pm, with no one around, he took off on trail until the local tree police showed up. He then came back to the start and there was the pack forming. Two non runners, bad knees and hips, The Gas Stop Bob and Or G. But we had R-Tard-E, Lower Wackoff and False Advertising waiting to actually run. The Aussie is Just Steve and he will be around in the next several weeks. So the pack of four was soon off and I headed with the beer for the B stop along the river with the non runners. Eventually we saw the pack on the other side of the river while we were bird watching. Several hawks, either looking for lunch of feeling the warmer spring weather and looking for a comapnion. We had a cooler of beer and a nice easy going circle before heading to the Nil for a few more pitchers. And False Advertising took off quickly with the visitors bag in his trunk. Ooops. And we didn't have his phone number. But Gas Stop Bob managed to locate Lifa somewhere around the world and he came up with the number and False Advertising had to return to the bar and have another beer. Poor boy. 

Now Sun was a way out of the normal range of the Chicago Hash as we ran from Rainbow Beach at 77th St and the Lakefront. Almost two hours for me to get there by pubic transit. And I barely made it before the pack was off. SnatchSquatch and Hobo Piss were the hares and Hobo Piss did a good job of sweeping for 14 hounds as we entered unknown territory. South through the park and then into old factory zones, now looking like a war zone without a building in sight, but many old roads and fields of shiggy. And the trail went on and on to the south and I was barely able to keep the leaders in sight and occasionally caught a little bit of a short cut. Eventually I saw the pack heading west and over Route 41 at 87th St. Another huge field and I found myself with a bit of a short cut and chasing FRBs across the field and near these huge concrete walls. I mean thick like fifteen feet at the base. We went towards the lake and finally around one of the walls and to a beer stop. Here we had a beer as hashers climbed over the no climbing signs and enjoyed the view. Then we were off again around the next wall and into the rape tunnel. Actually a long tunnel in the wall with many openings. This was all part of the old abandoned U. S. Steel plant and this tunnel had a purpose, but for us, it was something different to run through. At the end we ran along a slip from Lake Michigan. Probably for the old ore boats. No, not whore boats. Then we had to climb over the slip and past the dead birds floating below in the polluted water. From here it was back towards the lake and then long fields like we already ran with high weeds and abandoned roads to a final beer stop. Then a short run back through the park to the finish. We got out a grill and started cooking dogs and burgers and held a freezing circle in the cold winds off of the lake. From there I got a ride with Stiffy 4 Stiffes to the north side and saved over an hour travel time. Interesting historic hash. Someday it will all be sterilized housing and fancy parks and same ole same ole city running.

On Thu 12 Apr, 2018 we had a Thirstday Hash set by Putt Putt In The Butt from Dickens Street Pub. We had a nice pack of 14 hounds as he headed east on Dickens. A block later was a triple Split. The true trail went right to Armitage, around the block and back to Dickens Street. I believe half the pack went straight east at the Triple Split and found that short on back trail and the pack was now split up a bit. By the time I got there, the pack was mostly gone and I saw two hashers disappearing into the park on the north side of the street. I followed, but found no marks. As I headed back. Lifa came along and yelled he was on one from the Check. Check? I followed and we headed into the park. Trail went around the lagoon and suddenly became blue chalk in the dark, and shadows and on asphalt. The larger pack might have been able to see that last Split where I lost Lifa, but I didn't. More pink and blue marks on through the park and a check. Swept to the south, but no more visible marks that I could find. So I abandoned the attempt and headed into the city and down North Ave. After a few blocks there was suddenly a hidden arrow. Back on, I managed to follow the rest of the trail without problems, despite some mysterious marks and suddenly I was at B in Oz Park and there was the pack. Back at the bar we drank PBR tall boys and held a nice circle. 

Sat. Apr 14, 2018, was The Big Dog Hash set Crotch Fire. We had eight hounds. Well, six running hounds and two walkers under a big yellow umbrella, Zone 2 and Let Me Blow. Unusual trail. After the first right turn arrow, there was nothing but Triple Splits and Checks and all were left turns or straight as the trail was an ever widening spiril from the start until a final right turn and a left turn to a straight run of three blocks down an alley an On In. We ended up in the garage, heated with a wood buring cast iron stove and we were soo  holding circle while our hare cooked two deep fat fried turkeys. Delicions. . Eventually cums On All bases arrived with some desert for us. Thanks and Cum again.

On Sun, Apr 15, 2018, we had a Chicago Hash set by False Advertising from Burwood Tap. Injured, yes again, I followed the pack of nine other hounds, walking as they headed south on Halsted. That was about all I saw of the trail. Went through Oz Park and then the Zoo and who knows where. I managed to walk that part not on trail, but on the word of the hare. First time I ever went through the zoo and didn't see a single animal. Not even a sparrow or a squirrel. The beer stop was in the nearby playground and then back to Burwood for a fun circle and plenty of pitchers of beer.

Tue Apr 3, 2018, was another 4X2H3 Hash. Snotcho Mama hared for a wild pack of Horn-E and Lifa. And there were enough twists and turns and back checks that even Horn-E led on occasion. A few quick beers and we were on home.

Then on Thu, Apr 5, 2018, Stiffy 4 Stiffies laid a hash for his birthday from Celtic Crown for TH3. Two in bar beer stops and an outside bourbon stop and about 6 miles. The first one was at Christina's, home of the $3 Guinness. Damn inflation. Used to cost $2. But the bar is rehabbed and looking really nice. We had 13 trail hounds and a few who rode along with the hare to the various stops. Celtic Crown was upstairs for once and we had a nice circle.
Sun was a Second City Hash set by Speckle Bird and a Chicago Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffys from The Booze Hound. The finish and beer stop was set by Speckle Bird and the trail was set by Stiffy 4 Stiffies. And short for once, but nicely laid. And Speckle Bird swept the trail from the front. At least that is what I think happened. But this is a hash trash and accuracy isn't always possible, or desirable. We had 21 hounds on trail, and some good and some cheap beers. And after almost everyone left, out came some damn good beers. Squeeze These didn't run, but runs the kitchen and there were four large platters of different kinds of salads for after. Yeah, some meat too. Oh, and SnatchSquatch ran circle, sometimes, and sometimes good, and sometimes.....

Sun was a Second City Hash set by Speckle Bird and a Chicago Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffys from The Booze Hound. The finish and beer stop was set by Speckle Bird and the trail was set by Stiffy 4 Stiffies. And short for once, but nicely laid. And Speckle Bird swept the trail from the front. At least that is what I think happened. But this is a hash trash and accuracy isn't always possible, or desirable. We had 21 hounds on trail, and some good and some cheap beers. And after almost everyone left, out came some damn good beers. Squeeze These didn't run, but runs the kitchen and there were four large platters of different kinds of salads for after. Yeah, some meat too. Oh, and SnatchSquatch ran circle, sometimes, and sometimes good, and sometimes.....
Sun was a Second City Hash set by Speckle Bird n was a Second City Hash set by Speckle Bird and a Chicago Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffys
Sun was a Second City Hash set by Speckle BirdSun was a Second City Hash set by Speckle Bird and a Chicago Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffysand a Chicago Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffys from The Booze Hound. The finish and beer stop was set by Speckle Bird and the trail was set by Stiffy 4 Stiffies. and the trail was set by Stiffy 4 Stiffies. And short for once, but nicely laid. The trail was laid by Stiffy 4 Stiffies. And short for once, but nicely laid. And Speckle Bird swept the trail from the front. At least that is what I think happened. But this is a hash trash and accuracy isn't always possible, or desirable. We had 21 hounds on trail, and some good and some cheap beers. And after almost everyone left, out came some damn good beers. Squeeze These didn't run, but runs the kitchen and there were four large platters of different kinds of salads for after. Yeah, some meat too. Oh, and SnatchSquatch ran circle, sometimes, and sometimes good, and sometimes.....

Wed 28 Mar, 2018was a Whiskey Wednesday Hash and Glory Hole and Bi Holer laid trail from Haymarket Brewery for 9 hounds. We headed towards the loop and then north towards Lake and over the river. I was heading further east when the trail was found on Orleans over the river and north. I followed and somehow missed an arrow pointing down some stairs to Kinzie St. I'm not only getting slow, now I going blind. I looked for that mark and somehow didn't see it. Five to 10 minutes of searching and ranging and I get back to that arrow I missed heading down the steps. I bent over and asked some cute girls to give me a swift kick in the ass for being so damn blind. Damn, they did. The last one almost sent me flying down the stairs. But I ventured on and followed trail until I caught the pack at a Check at Milwaukee just north of Grand. We had one virgin on trail, J. Tiffiny, and she was the one who finally bailed out the hash and found trail in virgin territory between two buildings. From there it was a relatively easy trail heading south to the west loop area and over to the hares Condo for the On In. In his Condo we held a short, laid back circle and let the hares know what we thought of their trail. And their whiskey which the pack devoured.
 
Thu, 29 Mar, 2018, we had a Thirstday Hash with Silent But Deadly and Loin Dick II laying trail from Redmonds for seven hounds. Silent But Deadly Gave me shit in the circle for criticizing her trails in the past as long straights and few marks. Well, this one really started out good. Lots of marks, bright and white. Splits and Checks and turns. But for some reason the pack got quickly strung out. Hmmm. Then as I was running along trying to keep the back in sight, I got stopped by some young lady who ran up behind me and asked me about my horn. Her parents, Icelanders, got a bigger one for their 25th Anniversary, all engraved and such. Well, now I'm five minutes behind. I run south from Addison and then over to Lake Shore Dr. Now the nice twisting trail get back to form. Long straight, four blocks without  a turn including one entire block without a mark. Finally just before a Check, Just Wendy came up behind me. Wrong way on a few Splits. The Check was marked right and then crossed out. So we went south. When in doubt, go straight. Two marks and then another block without a mark. So we figured we had to miss something and went right to Broadway. Nothing. We ranged north on Broadway and still nothing. J. Wendy finally went back to the Check to try further. I was not going to keep up with her so I ranged back south thinking the trail had to go south and I never saw another mark. meanwhile, J. Wendy found the trail over to the park and another long straight all the way to north of Addison. Then around Wrigley and south to a school yard where the hounds found a beer stop with no beer. Then the hares arrived with beer and took off for the warmth of Redmonds leaving the pack standing there in the cold. Back at the bar Gay Dancer eventually led us in a long circle. Then Silent But Deadly pressured me to okay the new price increases to $10. For the record, I suggested $8 exact change or $10 over the summer to get everyone used to the idea. Normally I prefer the lower costs and passing the hat for those that want to keep drinking well into the night. Light drinkers or those that have to leave early shouldn't have to pay for those that never quit, like Horn-E. And I've been last out more times then you've hashed.

30 Mar, 2018, Good Friday meant a good hashing Friday and Lower Wackoff would lay us a good trail from Yackoo's for the Chicago Full Moon Hash. We had seven hounds heading out through a maze of city streets before a Check at a park that would hopefully lead to the local golf course to run in the dark. By now, Son Of Span was already a hero. He found a senior citizen collapsed on the sidewalk from a fall. No, not Horn-E. He helped the old man up so he could continue his monthly walk to his girlfriends house where they could pray for a glorious raising of a member of past glory. When laying trail, Lower Wackoff found that the local border security agents had repaired the fence. So he had to plan a course around the course before finally getting into a bit of short woods running that led to the beer stop on a cliff over the river and under a beautiful Blue Moon. And it was ably guarded by Bingo and her new friend. Meanwhile Horn-E knew Lower Wackoff wanted to run the golf course and ran/walked to the usual hole in the fence. Damn. repaired. But the local wet backs, or just local neighbors had already set up some logs to aid in climbing the border wall. So, he did. He wandered around the golf course looking for marks and enjoying the peaceful solitude as he worked his way to a hole in the fence they didn't repair. From there it was under Devon along the river and a nice jog on forest paths and such along the river until he also made it to the beer stop. After a couple of beers we headed back to Yackoff's for good pizza and beer and a second circle. We then named Bingo's new friend. She passed the questions with many surrogates answering questions in her behalf. Several names suggested were Queen, Spelling, Quilting, Busy and the final two, Ada and Honey. She will forever more be known as Honey and she will guard our beer with threats of stinging and cross pollination.

31 Mar 2018, Now we come to Marathon Training, I mean the Chicago Hash, Easter Sunday preview, now known as Passover hash. Three Jews, no, not three wise men, three Jews, W Jew 40, Little Trojan Annie and Roofie Ragu had a great idea. The Jews left Egypt and wandered around in the desert for forty years or whatever. So they were going to have us wander around Chicago for forty miles. Well, not actually. Lifa clocked only 11.5 miles. Then Moses, I mean Roofie Rago laid most of it. Twenty three hounds took off on this great adventure. Some actually finished. There were four beer stop where beer might be available, but there was also a bottle of Maniscevitz to consume as well. There were also games to be played at each stop. I managed to get to the first beer stop after being slowed down by an unmarked back check, a Split that had me going the wrong way in an alley (really one of the best alley treks in Chicago), and four Falses withing a hundred feet of each other after. By then they had taken off on the second leg of trail. It was already 50 minutes for me. Since they were already gone, I grabbed a beer and settled in with the other quitters. But I did beat Zone 2 who also fell back and got stuck in the falses. Must have gotten them from the Dead Sea Scrolls. The hash was set to end at the TrojanJew B & B for circle and some good kosher grub. I had to leave just as they all got there. I'm sure it was a good circle and good time. But 11.5 miles. That cost us one virgin. But welcome to J. Alex. They all aren't that long.

We started with Horn-E Mar 20, 2018, laying a short trail from Big Joe's on Tue for the First Crack of the Moon Hash. Expecting the usual small crowd, I was surprised with nine hounds, a bigger pack then the following CH3 and TH3. WTF. But anyway, they were off through the close by tunnel and along a strip park by the Metra Tracks. And this pack was moving. I circled ahead and saw Meat Inside Her leading after the Second Check. Then I retreated to that strip park where I found a great little beer stop. They wandered around on trail until they headed back to that tunnel where I corrected one mark heading the pack back into the tunnel and back to that strip park. I also added a B at some evergreen trees that had a slight gap between them to an inside teepee type of area. Perfect for the beer stop. Hobo Piss ran right by it, but Berts Special Friend spotted the B and came in as FRB. Lower Wckoff was just a few minutes behind as DFL. The pack was together and we eventually held a pre-circle in that evergreen tent. But it was still a bit windy so we retreated to Big Joe's for a second Circle and more beer. Thanks to Cock Whisperer, we had about 20 beers donated for the beer stop. Warm, but I quickly spread them around on the ground and they were cool enough for the pack.

Thu Mar 22, 2018, was a TH3 trail and a last minute hare stand in, SnatchSquatch, haring out of Nesai Lounge. Lame again, I couldn't run so I eventually walked over to the beer stop where I counted seven hounds on trail. First in was Just Jenelle followed by Fetus Envy, andeventually the normal FRB types, Gay Dancer and One Fuck Chuck who both ran amok and added up over seven miles of trail as they came in DFL. There was a total count of seven house puppies, the lame and lazy and those that just don't run. Half non runners. WOW. Circle was held in this strip park by a cemetery and ended abruptly when two squad cars came by with lights flashing.

Sat Mar 24, 2018, was a Rag Time Hash set by RumpleStealsKids from her house. Missed it and don't know what happened.

Sun Mar 25, 2018, was a CH3 Hash set by Fetus Envy and Ball Cock Dumper from Weathermark. This was after the annual Beer in the Box. That means, many hashers ran the morning 8K Shamrock Shuffle and then got free beer tickets from any non drinking runner they could find and drank ON and ON. A bunch ended up at the start, but weren't running. Finally three hounds showed up. I was still lame, thank God. They took off running and ran and ran and ran. Well Lifa did. One visitor, a walker who walked along with the hares to the beer stops. That left two runners and a T and E trail. WTF. Lifa managed the Eagle alone and did 9.73 miles. Two hours to the second beer stop. Menstrual Casserole and I walked over, about a mile, and apparently got there just after Lifa. I handed over the Hash Cash to the hare and they started Circle. I sure wasn't dressed for an outdoor circle and soon left the freezing hares and hounds. Furry Spice was also there, I don't think he ran, but he did have on new shoes and in the cold, he took off both shoes and drank out of them while standing in bare feet on the cold ground/grass. Well done.
On Thu, Mar 15, 2018,  Loin Dick 2 laid her virgin solo trail for TH3 and 9 trail hounds. It will live on as a trail from hell. Well, not really. The course was nicely planned, map and all. The execution was off. The marks were good, when you could find them and when they actually pointed the right way. To put it simply, more marks, closer together, each mark points to the next mark, and you can't go from one side of the street to the other and back again without indicating such. I probably ran about three miles and was only a mile or so into the course when I decided to let it go. On the way back to the bar, I decided to check the usual park where we hold a lot of beer checks. Yep, there she was, all smiles. It was 20 minutes before Silent But Deadly arrived and she admitted to short cutting a big section. Another 20 minutes before Fetus Envy and Just Ben arrived. But eventually we circled at Danny's Tap Room and she took the criticism with all smiles. And beer. Hey, it was her virgin attempt. We'll set her up with a co-hare and look forward to her next attempt. 

Sat, Mar 17, 2018 was a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from Forest Glen Woods. I'd like to say it was the best hash of the year and we had forty racing hounds, but I'm not that big of a liar. The trail was reasonable for the area. The marks were questionable in parts, (later) or good marks. But the pack was only four. And there was no running there. Just Do Me Slowly isn't really running much or at all lately. The Gas Stop Bob is a walker, but loves the woods trails. Or G has had leg injury issues for years and he couldn't run. That left our visitor, Pied Piper, stopping by for a quick trail before heading to the airport. Street clothes and no intention of running. I spent over two hours laying a trail for running and now they would walk it. About 90 minutes with walkers doing all the checking. But a nice circle in the woods as usual. Then everyone got cold. We retreated to Aunt Edna's bar for a quick beer and everyone had to leave. At least I got a ride from The Gas Stop Bob to my bus stop. LATER: I tried something different for marking flour on trees. It sort of works and sort of doesn't. I filled a sock with flour and banged it against trees. Sometimes it made a nice mark, other times I had to give it several wacks and some were probably to light. And if you were downwind from the tree when you wacked it, you got a face full of flour. In the interest of experimentation, I'll try it once more, in an area where the trail is fairly obvious. This time I'll use ladies nylons, knee highs, and see if they give a good mark. It that works, we'll try it more. If not, well, I tried. Back to the old bare hand or cotton glove. 

Sun, Mar 18, 2018 was the Chicago Hash with The Cock Whisperer and Rusty Grundle laying trail from Cleos for an A to B trail for 11 hounds. Thanks to the CTA giving me bad information and not realizing it until it was to late, I was to late. But so was Hooch B4 Cooch and I had a place to store my bag in his car. It was now 2:55. No way I'd catch up but Hooch B4 Cooch did. The trail was nicely swept with only one Check not marked and I found that right away. Actually most marks were sort of obvious with the exception of a Split in an alley, just before the trail got to Augusta. Both directions had no mark. But the trail was quickly found around two corners on Augusta and we were off and running. I got to the beer stop after the pack left, but there was a cold Hamms sitting on the ground waiting for me. And a message on where the Circle would be, Damen and Caroll. Yeah, like I ever heard of Caroll St. So I abandoned trail, not running with a full beer, and headed for Damen. There some couple was nice enough to give me directions, way south on Damen. And as I took off, there comes Hooch B4 Cooch on the other side of the street, heading for his car. So I rode back with him. Circle was in the railroad area, up a weed overgrown path and back from the road. Tons of cold beer, warm sun and three visitors. All was good.

Tue 3/6/2018 had Lifa laying a trail from the Shamrock Club for the 4x2H4 hash. A turnout of only three hounds, but we managed to stay together for about a half hour. Then Snotcho Mama found a Check and was long gone before I even found we were at a Check. A little bit of snow and occasionally darkness and a few marks were missed. I missed the one to that Check. But Its Too Soft and myself eventually got back on trail and ran and checked, yes, Its Too Soft had to also, and the two of us ran on and on until we lost trail at a Check on Milwaukee. We ranged back towards the bar and I finally suggested that the trail might go to this little park along the river. There we found Snotcho Mama and Lifa. A quick beer and we were gone, back to the bar where no one even went in. Damn, I needed another one. One Hour and fifty minutes on trail for only four miles.  Check.

Thu 3/8/2018 was a virgin lay by Just Wendy and a co hare, Fetus Envy. Yeah, trouble there. Eleven hounds as we took off from Galaway Arms on an A to B trail. Mostly south at the start and I ended up behind with Son Of Spam and suddenly I spotted a T n E mark. Not mentioned in circle, but since the pack already left us behind to run around the lagoon by the zoo, we headed north. Eventually the trail came out of the park about a block north of the start and we found a Check at an alley. Also was a SN mark. I headed north into the alley and after going around a turn I found the third arrow and blow my horn. By now the main pack was catching up and Roofie Ragu ran on by me followed by the strung out pack. Unfortunately the Shot Stop went to the south in the alley. Lesson learned. The shot stop needs to be on true trail. Ooops. I heard only one person found it. We ran on with some difficulty due to turn arrows around corners causing us to miss a lot of them. We finally ended up in an alley for a beer stop and then a long walk to Galaway Bay for the B. We finally held a circle and the hares got there due.

Sat 3/10/2018 was a trail out on Woods on South Harlem for the Big Dog Hash, set by False Advertising. WE actually had 18 hounds. Instructionms were that we would be following little flags on the end of wire and every mark was a Check. We, they weren't and mostly easy to see the next mark and the pack was soon stretched out. I was running in back with Lower Wackoff and eventually three late comers passed. Well, two of them. Stiffy 4 Stiffies was running slow and hung over and even Horn-E beat him to the shot stop. From here we had to find the next flag and dig under neath it for something pointing the way of the true trail. It was a dirty skanky used and sticky dildo. And someone actually carried it back without a hazmat bag. Trail back was then relatively simple and straight forward. But Lower Wackoff still got lost and ended up following the flags backwards to find circle going when he got in. Good circle, Big Dog style. Then we had some quick grillables before the cold pack headed for warm kennels back home.

Sun 3/11/2018 was set by Rumple Stealskids and Ritlin Cum Bubble setting trail for CH3. Started alright and we were together for three blocks until the fist Check. Most of the pack was checking to the east when the trail was found to the south. Unfortunately the four of five of us that did that were left behind because the rest of the pack wandered east and picked up on trail and were gone. By the time I got out of the Target parking lot, I could see only two hashers in the distance headng east and then north. So I headed north and eventually was able to spot both Lifa and TampOn TampOff because of their green and red jackets. I followed the red jacket and headed north on California. Somewhere I lost him but found myself following another red jacket just jogging around this park. Ooops. But this did lead me to an On Back Check. After finally solving that, it was relatively straight back to the beer stop. Lifa, also running not on pack came up behind me and ran on. We got to the beer stop only to find SnatchSquatch waiting. He also was off trail, but had seen the Beer Stop on the way from his house. Sneaky bastard. And there we stood for about forty-five minutes before the pack arrived. Back at the bar we held a quick circle. The best entertainment was watching Its Too Soft fall asleep sitting on a chair three minutes into circle. After Circle the pack was gone quicker then a work force during an ICE raid in a meat packing plant. WTF.
On Wed. Feb 28, 2018 Son Of Spam laid a Whiskey Wednesday Hash from 50/Fifty. Five hounds started trail and only 4 finished. Horn-E, where are you? We started working our way south with a lot of back and forth. Finally Horn-E found trail heading south from a Check and to another Check on Chicago. We then went about five long blocks straight west on Chicago. A couple of Splits let the hash pass Horn-E and after Western Ave, Horn-E was alone. DFL again. The next Check he never found a mark after the third mark. After another mile or two, he gave up and got back to the bar and waited for the pack who were holding a whiskey circle in an alley. Eventually one hound and the hare joined Horn-E for one drink and the rest went home. WTF.

Thu Mar 1, 2018, had a Grateful Dick laid trail from O'shaugnessys for an a to b trail for 11 hounds. We had a few hard to find checks in two blocks and the trail finally led up to the Ravenswood tracks. Fetus Envy went up there and couldn't find a mark. Meanwhile the rest went around under the nearest trestles hoping for marks coming down the other side. Nope. So the pack just headed north and found the On In, two blocks away. So they headed backwards on trail and eventually had to call the hare to find the beer stop. Meanwhile, Horn-E, yep, off trail again, ranged south. No marks after several blocks coming down from the tracks. So he returned to where the trail went up on the tracks and there was a mark that Fetus Envy never saw. Back and forth and left and right, trying to find more marks got three whole tiny marks all the way to Irving Park, in the dark, on live Metra tracks with high fences on both sides. The hare said trail came down at Irving Park, but no marks were found so Horn-E returned to the bar for a Guinness and waited for someone to return. The finish was a hundred yards north in a parking lot where some good hot dogs and burgers were grilled. Well, at least something worked well.

Fri Mar 2, 2018, was a Chicago Full Moon Hash set from Aberdeen Tap. Meat Inside Her and Berts Special Friend laid trail for five hounds. I never saw anyone after the first block. Yep, lost again. Well, not really lost. I quickly found trail but the small pack was long gone, It was a nicely laid trail with lots of twists and turns and through the West Loop area. I finally made in into the finish in an alley as the circle had just started. After circle the pack split and four of us walked over to Twisted Spoke for a beer.

Sat Mar 3, 2018, was a Second City Hash from Weathermark. Crash Test Dummy laid trail for five hounds and after a short loop in alleys we headed into the park and north. Back and forth we managed to stay together until the fire department, and police department and a burning car and Horn-E fell behind again. The pack somehow managed to find the shot stop just south of the Are Institute. Horn-E managed to find the whole trail and came in dead last. So what else is new. Just wait. The Bean was mentioned and somehow we found a Check there as some marks got wiped out. I never saw SnatchSquatch there, but he was around. Lifa headed west and north to Randolph and found trail. The last I saw of Furry Spice and Hooch B4 Cooch was them heading east. I went north and found a Split. I went east and that was wrong. I think that is when Lifa was blowing his whistle and the rest gathered on Randolph and headed west. Meanwhile I came back and headed west and found the trail. I blew the horn many times and no one came. They were already gone. Damn. So I Triple Split got me with looping and missing the true trail and going all the way to Lake. Finally found trail and headed west to State and a split that was barely visible. More aimless running around until giving up and heading south on State and there was a mark. The turn mark got wiped out. From here it was zigging and zagging through Checks and Splits and faded marks to west of La Salle and south of Congress and a BN. That took over another mile of checking before stumbling on the third arrow. From here I ran on without much difficulty except going long stretches without marks all the way to 16th St and an eventual On In. I got in about 170 minutes after the start. All the way alone and without a single true trail mark so I didn't know if I was in front, behind, or the only one on trail. Sort of gave me the drive to continue. That and beautiful weather and a decent trail if the marks were something of a problem at times. Back at the bar. the pack was already doing circle.

Sun Mar 4, 2018, had Tell It To My Nipples laying a birthday trail from Double Bubble. Biggest brightest arrows in memory. Take note hares. The trail was a big loop through the area and from my perspective, near the rear, it looked like a simple trail and with a fast pack they really blew through the trail and faded in the distance. And they marked every Check and Split. Well done. I followed False Advertising until his hangover over took him and he faded back past me to the following Zone 2 and W Jew 40. Now, all I had to do was stay on trail and I wouldn't be DFL. Planned worked as I arrived at the B in an alley where all the pickers were going through the possessions of an eviction. We also had a visitor, Just Patty from Guatemala who might make some more hashes this week. Welcome.

On On
Horn-E


On Thu, Feb 15 the TH3 hash was held at Danny's Tap Room. Lucky I heard about in in advance because there was no update on the TH3 web site. The hares were W Jew 40, Foamy Discharge, O'Shitty Discharge, or was it Foamy Runch, and finally Riot Me This Riot Me That. All of those hares and no sweep. We started out with 8 hounds and were immediately scattered and all confused with a starting False and an immediate Check. By the time I got through that, everyone was out of sight to the east. I managed to catch up with Loin Dick 2 returning from a False. We couldn't solve that Check and started ranging in a big loop before finding trail. After that the trail wasn't to bad and even though there were no sweeps or hounds marking rail we ran on okay as I tried to keep her in sight. I finally lost track of her, probably at a Check that I found right away. Ran on and finally had a Split marked, and crossed out and remarked so that you couldn't figure out which way they tried to point out. Looked straight to me, even though I thought it would be left. So I went straight and it was left. Finally ran over Logan Blvd and up to a triple Split. This time I didn't believe what looked like someone marked for the true trail. I used my instincts and was right, going right. Soon I was at the beer stop before everyone left. And somehow I got in front of Loin Dick 2. We finally left and two blocks before the bar, One Fuck Chuck got an email. Yep, Loin Dick 2. At the beer stop and no one there. Back at the bar Furry Spice led us in a circle and then the Sausage Man arrived. Good stuff, but I almost died on that horseradish.

Fri, Feb 16 2018 was The First Crack of the Moon Hash Asian New Years hash. Meat Inside her and Stiffy 4 Stiffies cooked and 16 hounds followed a Lifa trail. I was near the front as we ran past the United Center and found a Check. No one went north so I did. After a block i looked back and no one was there. So I ranged east and after a long block I saw Fetus Envy entering a parking lot.Yeah, I'm back. Feather leads the pack out of the parking lot and a loop right back towards me. Boom. I'm running second behind Feather to a quick Split. He went west and I went right and I was on. two short blocks late I was still near the front at a Check on Ashland. Fetus Envy went north. Just Trevor and I crossed the street into a park. He choose north east in the park and I headed east and I was soon ON. Crossing Ogden was a Split and I picked wrong, but loopoing around I found myself running up to Fetus Envy at the next Check. I went south and was wrong. Heard no one calling, but the trail went right back the way I came, but on the wrong side of the street. Damn. So I ran on, alone, through two back checks and eventually crossing the Expressway on Ogden to a Check. Lower Wackoff had marked it with a tiny bit of chalk, but it was a short cut instead of actual trail and his attempt to get me back on true trail failed as I didn't see the sticks he marked it with or they got moved. Anyway, I was suddenly off trail and poor prospects and near the finish so I ran back to the start and got there about five minutes before the pack started to arrive. It is always more fun near the front or in front and I managed for a short bit of trail so, I had fun. Back at the start, we had a circle and then started into some great Asian and Korean food and of course some good beer. And I just made it to the last bus of the night.

Sat, Feb 17 2018 was the Bushman Hash set by Horn-E  from Lechowitz Woods with five hounds. I was able to sweep and follow the pack. The woods were covered in a few inches of snow. The goal, the golf course, also had a few inches of snow except where the cross country skiers had made trail that melted faster. Great for the trail. The first section of woods led to a path and a great Back Check and Lower Wackoff who was running last was suddenly first to a Check in the golf Course fairway. He headed off on the correct trail and somehow missed the first mark and the rest were scattered all over the fairway, getting close to the return trail. But we got back on trail and False Advertising led us into the woods and a bridge and the next Check. Lifa and R Tard E went down a road to the NW. No marks, but they kept going. Lower Wackoff found trail to the south and yelled on. Great. And he found the False. So when they returned they headed down that same road, again missing the very obvious true trail. Damn. Then at the fairway they headed south along the east edge while Lifa and R Tard E were on the far opposite edge of another fairway running a False trail from the next Check. Like I say, no marks and Cums On All Bases runs on and eventually finds the On Back trail. Shit. So I head into the woods after them as they get to some melted wet lands and circle around and finally get on trail as designed. From here it was just trail up a steep hill, over a bridge, slippery icy path and woods to the finish. R Tard E was first to the B and Cums On All Bases found the beer. Best beer stop of the year. In the hollow of a huge dead tree. We have pictures of five of us inside of the tree and room for more. And the snow was just getting started and we circled up and had a few beers each before heading out to the On In at the Nil. That tree was like standing inside of a huge chimney with two entrances. I'd been by there, withing fifteen feet, dozens of time and never investigated it.

Sun Feb 18, 2018, was the Chicago Hash set by Lower Wackoff with some lame assistance from Horn-E from The Booze Hound. Horn-E was supposed to get there at 2pm to help set the beer stop and then wait there along with Bingo for the pack to arrive. But a last minute phone call that I couldn't break away from and just missing three buses and it was 2:30 before I got there. I even tried catching a cab, but with Lyft and Uber, there just aren't many for flagging down on the street and the only one wouldn't pick me up. Anyway, the pack of nine hounds got going. The trail was to show some previous hares in that area, how to run the various abandoned tracks and live tracks and how to set trail on them. But they didn't show, and the pack got split up on some disappearing marks and a long dead end alley and struggled on in two packs before finally finding the Beer Stop between an abandoned factory and some abandoned tracks in the warm sun. SnatchSquatch led the circle, Soul Taco was beer wench and the hares drank a lot. And Slap Dat Ass finally came out of hibernation.


On Thu, the TH3 hash was held at Danny's Tap Room. Lucky I heard about in in advance because there was no update on the TH3 web site. The hares were W Jew 40, Foamy Discharge, O'Shitty Discharge, or was it Foamy Runch, and finally Riot Me This Riot Me That. All of those hares and no sweep. We started out with 8 hounds and were immediately scattered and all confused with a starting False and an immediate Check. By the time I got through that, everyone was out of sight to the east. I managed to catch up with Loin Dick 2 returning from a False. We couldn't solve that Check and started ranging in a big loop before finding trail. After that the trail wasn't to bad and even though there were no sweeps or hounds marking rail we ran on okay as I tried to keep her in sight. I finally lost track of her, probably at a Check that I found right away. Ran on and finally had a Split marked, and crossed out and remarked so that you couldn't figure out which way they tried to point out. Looked straight to me, even though I thought it would be left. So I went straight and it was left. Finally ran over Logan Blvd and up to a triple Split. This time I didn't believe what looked like someone marked for the true trail. I used my instincts and was right, going right. Soon I was at the beer stop before everyone left. And somehow I got in front of Loin Dick 2. We finally left and two blocks before the bar, One Fuck Chuck got an email. Yep, Loin Dick 2. At the beer stop and no one there. Back at the bar Furry Spice led us in a circle and then the Sausage Man arrived. Good stuff, but I almost died on that horseradish. Fri, was The First Crack of the Moon Hash Asian New Years hash. Meat Inside her and Stiffy 4 Stiffies cooked and 16 hounds followed a Lifa trail. I was near the front as we ran past the United Center and found a Check. No one went north so I did. After a block i looked back and no one was there. So I ranged east and after a long block I saw Fetus Envy entering a parking lot.Yeah, I'm back. Feather leads the pack out of the parking lot and a loop right back towards me. Boom. I'm running second behind Feather to a quick Split. He went west and I went right and I was on. two short blocks late I was still near the front at a Check on Ashland. Fetus Envy went north. Just Trevor and I crossed the street into a park. He choose north east in the park and I headed east and I was soon ON. Crossing Ogden was a Split and I picked wrong, but loopoing around I found myself running up to Fetus Envy at the next Check. I went south and was wrong. Heard no one calling, but the trail went right back the way I came, but on the wrong side of the street. Damn. So I ran on, alone, through two back checks and eventually crossing the Expressway on Ogden to a Check. Lower Wackoff had marked it with a tiny bit of chalk, but it was a short cut instead of actual trail and his attempt to get me back on true trail failed as I didn't see the sticks he marked it with or they got moved. Anyway, I was suddenly off trail and poor prospects and near the finish so I ran back to the start and got there about five minutes before the pack started to arrive. It is always more fun near the front or in front and I managed for a short bit of trail so, I had fun. Back at the start, we had a circle and then started into some great Asian and Korean food and of course some good beer. And I just made it to the last bus of the night. Sat, was the Bushman Hash set by Horn-E  from Lechowitz Woods with five hounds. I was able to sweep and follow the pack. The woods were covered in a few inches of snow. The goal, the golf course, also had a few inches of snow except where the cross country skiers had made trail that melted faster. Great for the trail. The first section of woods led to a path and a great Back Check and Lower Wackoff who was running last was suddenly first to a Check in the golf Course fairway. He headed off on the correct trail and somehow missed the first mark and the rest were scattered all over the fairway, getting close to the return trail. But we got back on trail and False Advertising led us into the woods and a bridge and the next Check. Lifa and R Tard E went down a road to the NW. No marks, but they kept going. Lower Wackoff found trail to the south and yelled on. Great. And he found the False. So when they returned they headed down that same road, again missing the very obvious true trail. Damn. Then at the fairway they headed south along the east edge while Lifa and R Tard E were on the far opposite edge of another fairway running a False trail from the next Check. Like I say, no marks and Cums On All Bases runs on and eventually finds the On Back trail. Shit. So I head into the woods after them as they get to some melted wet lands and circle around and finally get on trail as designed. From here it was just trail up a steep hill, over a bridge, slippery icy path and woods to the finish. R Tard E was first to the B and Cums On All Bases found the beer. Best beer stop of the year. In the hollow of a huge dead tree. We have pictures of five of us inside of the tree and room for more. And the snow was just getting started and we circled up and had a few beers each before heading out to the On In at the Nil. That tree was like standing inside of a huge chimney with two entrances. I'd been by there, withing fifteen feet, dozens of time and never investigated it. Sun was the Chicago Hash set by Lower Wackoff with some lame assistance from Horn-E from The Booze Hound. Horn-E was supposed to get there at 2pm to help set the beer stop and then wait there along with Bingo for the pack to arrive. But a last minute phone call that I couldn't break away from and just missing three buses and it was 2:30 before I got there. I even tried catching a cab, but with Lyft and Uber, there just aren't many for flagging down on the street and the only one wouldn't pick me up. Anyway, the pack of nine hounds got going. The trail was to show some previous hares in that area, how to run the various abandoned tracks and live tracks and how to set trail on them. But they didn't show, and the pack got split up on some disappearing marks and a long dead end alley and struggled on in two packs before finally finding the Beer Stop between an abandoned factory and some abandoned tracks in the warm sun. SnatchSquatch led the circle, Soul Taco was beer wench and the hares drank a lot. And Slap Dat Ass finally came out of hibernation.
8 Feb 2018. On Thu we had a Thirstday Hash set by the Dark Silent Taco team. Trail was set from Miskas with about nine hounds on trail. Because of snow conditions, a live trail was called for and then they didn't take off until about 7:50. We finally got out on trail a little after 8pm. A half block later was a Check and we struggled on that one. I was out Checking when the trail was found. No On On call, or whistles or horns or marking the Check and they were gone. Meanwhile Horn-E and Children Of The Corn Hole, a visitor, come back to find nothing and they ran on for another mile or so looking for any sign of a mark. Nothing. Finally, back near Miska's, they spotted Silent But Deadly, a hare and she told them were the Beer Stop was in a park. There was another hare, The Dark Kunt and several non runners waiting there. Eventually The lead hare, Soul Taco arrived. She ran out of powder and had to mark the trail with her finger in virgin snow. Some how most of the pack found that part of the trail and finally arrived at the beer stop. Back at Miska's was the usual good Miskas circle and the party ran on. 

10 Feb 2018. On Sat, The Son Of Spam and The Foam Queen laid a Big Dog Hash trail from Lo Rez brewery. Nice place. Most of the trail was running on clean sidewalks, snow covered side walks, streets and rutted alleys. The pack sort of stayed together as we did a loop of the area and missed a looong False trail. Good. Beer stop was at the bottom of the stairs to Son Of Spams condo and then we went inside for a circle, pizzas, chili and snacks. Good time. 

11 Feb 2018. On Sun was The Chicago Hash set by Feather and Silent But Deadly from his house. We had 8 hounds on trail including one visitor, Finger In My Ass. Trail started down a snow filled gangway and there was some more like that, but mainly just streets and rutted alleys and sidewalks, shoveled and not shoveled. We headed east across the expressway and looping back over the bridge at Augusta. And as I was about to cross the bridge, I passed a little wooded section, virgin snow, trees covered in snow, quiet and peaceful, and all I could see was one of the nicest possible beer stops, but no beer. Actually there was no beer stop. The hares might have had to go out in the cold. Best beer stop?/no beer stop?/stay warm? But we eventually had a good circle with Fetus Envy leading and some good home made soup and fresh baked good bread and a good variety of beers. 
On On Horn-E

Jan 30 2018, We started out the week on Tue with a Blue Moon, Eclipse, Super Moon Chicago Full Moon Hash and only Horn-E could f*ck that up. Cloudy night and the moon only gave us faded images through the clouds at the beer stop on a tropical beach along Sheridan where we were hiding from the sub zero wind chills. And then Horn-E ran out of Dry Wall and had to settle for sheet rock. Similar, but sheet rock is much harder and lays lighter marks. Dry wall is softer and lays good marks. Lifa's GPS and tales of the trail indicated that the trail was run like designed, except when it wasn't. Eight hounds braved the cold night air as we ran from Double Bubble. Lifa was FRB followed closely by FBI Pearl Vision. About five minutes later came Its To Soft and Tell It To My Nipples. And there we stood, drinking beer as quickly as we could before it would freeze, as we watched the gently rolling waves and stomped out feet trying to keep warm. Finally it was decided to wrap it up and as we left we ran into the off trail wandering hound, Fetus Envy. But he wasn't drinking anyway so he just walked back with us. At the bar we found the wimp of the night, Cums On All Bases, warm and cuddly. But where was One Fuck Chuck. He fell back at the Check at Clark and Ridge where there were many possibilities for Falses and he checked them all, but no Falses were laid. Trail ran through the park by the High School. Two checks later, also with only one way out and the trail then came to Ridge again with six Falses laid. And One Fuck Chuck ran on true trail but missed the third arrow, with sheet rock (bad) under a lamp post (good) on bad asphalt (bad) and went back to check out all of the other Falses before giving up and running to the hares house hoping to find beer. (Bad). He returned and finally found that check and got to the beer stop after we left. And as for Lower Wackoff. He's like the energizer bunny on weak batteries. That is, he runs slow like the hare, but he just keeps going no matter what until he finds his way to the finish. Also after we left. Short circle as three hounds weren't drinking. But the hare got his share. Damn hare.

Jan 31, 2018,Wed was the Whiskey Wednesday fourth Anniversary Hash, and set by Lifa from Twisted Spoke. I arrived 3 minutes after they left and took off to never see a single hasher. At the first Check I spent over ten minutes before finding true trail. After here, everything was marked well and I followed south of the tracks and east and eventually heading towards Grand and Halsted, over the expressway. At this point, I'm so far behind I decided to play it smart and range towards a bridge back over the expressway and pick up trail there. I never found it and missed the shot stop, but I was so far behind I would have missed it anyway. I went back to the bar where I found three House Puppies drinking beer and joined them. Eight hounds on trail including myself who wasn't often on trail. Damn.

Feb 1, 2018. Thu, was a Thirstday Hash set by Gay Dancer for his birthday and set from Celtic Crown. What a f*ck up. Well, sort of. Almost no one showed up. He had as few friends as Horn-E at his birthday hash. WTF. Four hounds. But all four hounds did a great job running trail. Well, they had to because they all ran 100% of the trail alone and found the beer stop. Silent But Deadly walked out the door and immediately took off north towards the T and E Split. Horn-E was the only other hound at the start and he took off heading for the T part of the trail. One Check and three or four Splits, but the trail was just straight East on Montrose until it turned south for a block to a beer stop in a kiddie play ground. And he was FRB. WTF. And there he stood with the hare drinking good beer for about ten minutes before Silent But Deadly finally found the B. As usual, still full of energy, but not dressed for the cold. She was so cold her nipples were hard enough to cut glass, She didn't want to stand around in the cold drinking beer and when she found out she was only half way, she quit and asked for directions back to the bar and was off. And just as she left, she ran passed Its Too Soft. Where did he come from? But he saw Roofie Ragu near the start and found out we were already running and he took off on the T trail and found all of the Checks and Splits like Horn-E and he was thirsty, and dressed for the cold. He looked like he could have found the North Pole in all of that clothes. A short time later Roofie Ragu arrived. He did the Eagle and also didn't want to drink beer. Finding there was still another half of trail he took off and got back to the bar just after we did. We got beer and held a low key circle before they headed for tacos and I had to head back to the B. Dummy me, I left my horn there. I wasn't worried about finding it. It isn't as if there would be a bunch of kids in the playground in the dark with below zero wind chills. Yep, it was there.  

Feb 3, 2018. Sat was a Second City Hash at the home of Cums On All Bases. in  Palantine. I couldn't make it, but heard they had seven hounds, a pick up at Metra for Lower Wackoff, and hamburgers after the trail. Seven hounds were on trail and Zone 2 actually was leading trail for awhile before Stiffy 4 Stiffies found trail. Where was False Advertising? Off trail again. They also had a returning Second City Hasher who hasn't been seen in quite awhile, Buffalo Nuts.

Feb 4, 2018. Sun, was The Chicago Hash's anal Super Bowl Hash set from the Trojan Temple of W Jew 40 and Little Trojan Annie. Hares were Gay Dancer when they finally got his head out of the chunder bucket and Sandy Syphillis. I didn't run but hear 20 on trail for long straights and auto hashing and some games in the snow. Back to the Trojan Temple there were well over 20 hounds for a circle run by Fetus Envy followed by grub and football.


A short Tale of the Trail for a long hard trail
The Chicago Hash June 30, 2014 by Horn-E
.....It rained at hash start time and there was no trail from Roses and SnatchSquatch was just sitting there. It rained harder as tornadoes swept into Illinois. It rained on and on and the hare just sat there. Finally the hare took off with a ten minute head start into rain. Not a down pour anymore, but not a drizzle. And the pack was 15 hardy water hounds. Well make that 14 hardy water hounds and one old near dead water hound (Horn-E) that was wrapped up in rain gear. The trail went into an alley and came to a Check right away. Dr Cockvorkian went right, wrong. Somebody went straight and into an alley and a pack of fools followed on only two marks. Dumb hounds. Trail went left and west and soon another Check. Horse Fly (from Houston) was a block north and off. Damn., Trail went into an alley, turned right and at the next street it turned left and into a park where the hare was waiting with a cooler of beer. Roofie Ragu was the first and we all know who was last. Damn old hound. So there we stood in a playlot. The rain was almost over. Beautiful lightening strikes over the loop to entertain us. So there we stood under trees waiting for the next lightening strike. No one said hound were smart. But One Fuck Chuck got smarter and led a bunch of hounds out from the trees into the playlot. Now that was reeaally smart. Metal fence and metal structures everywhere. That will never attract lightening. And then the playlot sprinkler system turned on. Yeah, the park district is watering the playlot in a storm. But at least it fascinated Hoosier Daddy and Soul Taco. We soon finished the beer and headed back to the bar. About three looong blocks back which was just about as loooong as the on out trail. Taste the Rainbow led a circle and and one house puppy arrived, Its Too Soft. The other brave hounds who ventured out into the raging storm included Drill In My Box, Ginger Snatch, Epi Penis, One Fuck Chuck, Ice Princess, Just Taylor, Just Mike, Just Slobhan and Just Laura. And then the rains returned with more tornadoes and we were stuck in the bar watching cars floating down the street until it finally slacked down. Couldn't even get a cab, but the gondolas were out in force. With sails. x
The Tale of the Trail
The Thursday Hash, 3 April 2014 by Horn-E
.....This was a Rhotan Trail out of Ravens and rain was expected. It never came. So we had a trail with flour and some nasty tricks. We started right across the street and into an alley the pack ran. It is a dead end. That left that slow old fart Horn-E in the lead as trail actually went south on Clark. But at the first street, another missed mark and trail was found to the east. Now it was back and forth for a bit. We ran one block and then north to Fullerton where the trail went right back south on the other side of the street. And he caught everyone. Back east to the alley and then south and finally into Lincoln Park. And back north right away. I followed Hoosier Daddy on a short cut and we rejoined the pack at the Shakesphere Statue. Now here the pack got screwed again. There was some sort of Split just across the street and Lifa found it. One trail went around the park and the other into a few trees next to the observatory and back out to the path heading north. I followed a few front runners and we were off. We crossed Fullerton and headed south in the park, west of the lagoon. I was just getting to a Check at the Gazebo when trail was found to the north and over the hill. A I ran along, following the pack of FRBs way ahead, the missing back of the pack started to arrive. We ran along the jogging path and at the turn at the north end, I could see a gathering in a playground. Beer Stop? I ran on and Hoosier Daddy and the new to Chicago Hasher,Rolo (new to Chicago from Toledo Mud Hens H3) raced past me to beat me through the gate. And there was beer. Many varieties. And all was good. But finally we had to head back. Trail went back along the lakefront and only four managed to head that way, Feather, Lifa, Dr. Cockvorcian and Little Trojan Annie. Damn show offs. As slow as I was running, I wasn't going to try to keep up with them. I walked back with the rest of the pack. 
.....The pack was eventually called together in a circle by the Dark Kunt. Many down downs were given to our hare. Rhotan. And he deserved them all. We also had several returnees. Tinkle Trotskie and the Hasher Of A Thousand Names, whatever he is using now, visited from Portland. And all old favorite, surprised me as I was getting pop corn and I almost spilled it all, Corn Star showed up after the run. Welcome back and come back often. Foamy Discharge was also a House Puppy this night. And the rest of the trail hounds included Hooch B4 Cooch, O'Shitty Runch, Menstrual Casserole, One Fuck Chuck, W Jew 40, and Its Too Soft.
x
The Tale of the Trail
The Second City Hash, 6 April 2014 by Horn-E
.....We ran this out of Just Dan's House, not a hasher, but a friend of Crotch Fire a hare along with False Advertising. And there was a large turnout of one house puppy, Dickens Cider who can't walk much right now and stayed behind at the fire with Just Dan. We had Bloody Thighs who just planned to walk as she is also in recovery. Partial joggers included virgins Just Katy and Just Danny And we also had Sugar Nuts and Zone 2. Then there was Specklebird who jogged and walked with Spawn Of Speckie. As we speed up, there was The KGB traveling with Just Allie in a stroller and walking a lot and Son Of Spam who fell back with The KGB. Now I didn't see much of then on trail, but they all beat me to the beer stop. And then they walked along with False Advertising who quit sweeping after the beer stop and just walked a short course back with the walkers. 
.....Then there were those that actually tried to run the course and left me behind. The real trail hounds and one old mutt, Horn-E. We took off to the east on Randolph and then Washington and across Ridgeland for a block and a Check. This seemed to take forever as no one was finding anything. I found myself ranging south to Madison when trail was found in an alley. I followed east until the leaders came out in front of me and a Check on Madison and Taylor. Various hashers were scattered when Snotcho Mama found trail to the south. I followed Lifa with Chippendale on the other side of the street. After one block, Lifa picked up trail to the east on Adams and eventually to a Check. Again we scattered. I finally found one, then two marks to the east and Lifa was already way out there. He found another mark, a Triple Split at Austin. Lifa went south and eventually was on going west on Adams along Columbus Park. Meanwhile I was almost a block north and I paralleled for two blocks before heading south and joining the pack in pursuit. From here I'm not sure who was where, but there was a bunch of FRBs in the distance and out of sight. I tried to keep Just Do Me Slowly in sight, eventually joining her as we went over some water and around some small wooded section.The KGB, pushing Just Allie and Son Of Spam were still in sight behind us. We ran on and eventually we were alone as we ran around the east end of the park and to the south end. We now head south on Central going under the Expressway and emerging at the south end on the east side of the street and at the top of some stairs. Here is an arrow and the last arrow, pointing west. We cross over the street and enter an industrial area and seeing no more marks, I yell to Just Do Me Slowly that I'll go back and see if we missed some marks going around the buildings. As I step out of sight, Just Do Me Slowly sees the head of the pack, drinking beer at an unmarked beer stop. Huh. Meanwhile I run on trying to go around the buildings and pick up Just Do Me Slowly at the far end. Not happening. Nothing but fences. After three blocks I loop back, crossing Central to check that out and finally coming back to that last arrow. It is still straight, but there was nothing ahead. So I run on again checking that area and this time I go far enough to see what Just Do Me Slowly saw, now the whole pack including the walkers. Damn.  
.....So after a beer, we head west along some tracks and past a bunch of bee hives. I'm talking 30 or 40. Probably a winter storage area until planting season. Anyhow, we go around on a wide loop and climb back up on an old pallet and head west. I'm with Chippendale, Lifa and Snotcho Mama as we go south and find a Split heading west and a Check at an alley. Well, typical of the marks of the day, often hard to find, Hooch B4 Cooch is also here and he is south in an alley. He doesn't return. But we are all scattered, looking for marks and no one is yelling on. Apparently Hooch B4 Cooch was On. I range to Austin when I see Lifa, a block further west, heading south towards Roosevelt. I head that way and see Snotcho Mama coming out of an alley. He was On and now not On. He missed something. Eventually Berts Special Friend was then coming down the alley and he found the missing arrow that led to trail going a block south of Roosevelt and then west.Snotcho Mama and I followed to the south and in the distance we could see Berts Special Friend and Lifa far ahead. Trail finally headed north again and we could see the leaders, about two long blocks ahead, going west. When we got there, it was a Split, but the trail didn't go west. Damn. Now here is where we really needed the sweep. But he was busy being not busy and walking along with the walkers and not sweeping the trail. So we were on our own. But we are hashers. We'll find it. Eventually. Won't we? So Snotcho Mama returns and heads south and finds the trail and a Check a block later. I am paralleling him. We are now at a little park and he comes my way and two blocks further. Not On. So I head south around the little park, on the east side of the street. Unfortunately we found the trail was on the west side of the street after six more blocks of running a large circle around the park. Actually trail went into this little park and up a big sledding hill. The third mark was hidden under some leaves. At the top of the hill was an arrow pointing down to the north west. But where. Certainly not in the grass anywhere we could see and I already ran that sidewalk. Finally I cross the street and there is the trail. Damn. Now where was that sweep? From here it