Tales of the Trail:

On Wed, 30 Jan, 2019, we had a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by The King Of Bed Bugs out of Lizzie McNeiles. WOW. Probably about -15 degrees, that is 15 DEGREES BELOW ZERO or -26 Celsius. And don't forget the 15 to 20 mile wind chill factor. This was a Chicago Area record cold hash and three hounds came out for the trail, Its Too Soft, Berts Special Friend and Horn-E. I know I was dressed so warm that I had to undo two vests and take off my gloves on occasion to let the excess heat out of my body. Its Too Soft was dressed in yuppie cold weather gear and looked like he was ready for a poler excursion. He looked so out of place the homeless were challenging him for showing off while they were struggling to stay alive. And Berts Special Friend just sort of blended in as he led us most of the way on this excursion into the depths of Lower Wacker Drive. After we went to the Condo of The King Of Bed Bugs and watched the bed bug races around his bed. I actually picked the winner 2 out of 7 times. I enjoyed a Zombie beer and when I went to get another, chilling on the balcony. It was frozen. So much for chilling beer outside at -15 degrees.

Thu 31 Jan 2019 actually saw a warm up of about 5 to 10 degrees. And we had a huge build up over Wednesday's hash. Two  hares, Just James ans SnatchSquatch and five hounds. And Just James actually swept the trail and did a good job. We lost Silent But Deadly early on as she tried to short cut. Next time I saw her was back at the bar. But the rest of us sort of stayed together until they lost me on Lincoln. Hey, when have we ever lost Horn-E before. Actually I almost caught them again just before the beer stop at the gazebo. By then I had my gloves off again to let the heat out of my body and stood there, well below Zero, drinking beer with no gloves. Who else was on trail? Just Mary, Its Too Soft and Wanky Wonky. Good circle back at the bar.

Sun, the 3rd of Feb, 2019, was our annual Super Bowl Party hash out of Little Trojan Annie's and W Jew 40's house. Only it wasn't. They had a burst pipe in their apartment and had to find a last minute replacement. Chunder Pussy and Back Door County volunteered and he started planning another great meat extravaganza and she started making pudding shots. Just as I left home to head to the original location, I decided to make a last minute check on the Chicago Hash web site. WHAT? Emergency change of plans and now I was running out the door to catch whatever bus I could catch so I might not be to damn late. I ran up to their house to see the hare, Mommy's Little Accident, standing out front, just about to take off on a live trail. I made it. And we had another big turnout for trail. Not. Just five again. Horn-E, Sandy Syphilis, Cums On Everybody, Furry Spice and a visitor from San Francisco who may return for grad school next year, Bloody Good Head. A short trail that kept us out of most alleys and mostly dry in the warming weather and melting snow. After we stood in the back yard for about 45 minutes for circle and I stood there in just a t-shirt and pants. After two extremely cold hashes last week, my body adapted as best as it could and I was warm. Of course it was a balmy 47 degrees. But think how cold I would have been last October dressed like that. Our bodies can do many great things when pressed and trained for it. But we have to get out there and do it.

Last week we had four separate hares and 13 hounds or nine separate hashers. We can do better. Come on out. Just dress properly, maybe an extra layer or two and the weather isn't so overwhelming. The hashes are still fun.     
 

On On
Horn-E

Tales of the Trail: On Wed, 30 Jan, 2019, we had a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by The King Of Bed Bugs out of Lizzie McNeiles. WOW. Probably about -15 degrees, that is 15 DEGREES BELOW ZERO or -26 Celsius. And don't forget the 15 to 20 mile wind chill factor. This was a Chicago Area record cold hash and three hounds came out for the trail, Its Too Soft, Berts Special Friend and Horn-E. I know I was dressed so warm that I had to undo two vests and take off my gloves on occasion to let the excess heat out of my body. Its Too Soft was dressed in yuppie cold weather gear and looked like he was ready for a poler excursion. He looked so out of place the homeless were challenging him for showing off while they were struggling to stay alive. And Berts Special Friend just sort of blended in as he led us most of the way on this excursion into the depths of Lower Wacker Drive. After we went to the Condo of The King Of Bed Bugs and watched the bed bug races around his bed. I actually picked the winner 2 out of 7 times. I enjoyed a Zombie beer and when I went to get another, chilling on the balcony. It was frozen. So much for chilling beer outside at -15 degrees. Thu 31 Jan 2019 actually saw a warm up of about 5 to 10 degrees. And we had a huge build up over Wednesday's hash. Two  hares, Just James ans SnatchSquatch and five hounds. And Just James actually swept the trail and did a good job. We lost Silent But Deadly early on as she tried to short cut. Next time I saw her was back at the bar. But the rest of us sort of stayed together until they lost me on Lincoln. Hey, when have we ever lost Horn-E before. Actually I almost caught them again just before the beer stop at the gazebo. By then I had my gloves off again to let the heat out of my body and stood there, well below Zero, drinking beer with no gloves. Who else was on trail? Just Mary, Its Too Soft and Wanky Wonky. Good circle back at the bar. Sun, the 3rd of Feb, 2019, was our annual Super Bowl Party hash out of Little Trojan Annie's and W Jew 40's house. Only it wasn't. They had a burst pipe in their apartment and had to find a last minute replacement. Chunder Pussy and Back Door County volunteered and he started planning another great meat extravaganza and she started making pudding shots. Just as I left home to head to the original location, I decided to make a last minute check on the Chicago Hash web site. WHAT? Emergency change of plans and now I was running out the door to catch whatever bus I could catch so I might not be to damn late. I ran up to their house to see the hare, Mommy's Little Accident, standing out front, just about to take off on a live trail. I made it. And we had another big turnout for trail. Not. Just five again. Horn-E, Sandy Syphilis, Cums On Everybody, Furry Spice and a visitor from San Francisco who may return for grad school next year, Bloody Good Head. A short trail that kept us out of most alleys and mostly dry in the warming weather and melting snow. After we stood in the back yard for about 45 minutes for circle and I stood there in just a t-shirt and pants. After two extremely cold hashes last week, my body adapted as best as it could and I was warm. Of course it was a balmy 47 degrees. But think how cold I would have been last October dressed like that. Our bodies can do many great things when pressed and trained for it. But we have to get out there and do it. Last week we had four separate hares and 13 hounds or nine separate hashers. We can do better. Come on out. Just dress properly, maybe an extra layer or two and the weather isn't so overwhelming. The hashes are still fun.        On OnTales of the Trail: On Wed, 30 Jan, 2019, we had a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by The King Of Bed Bugs out of Lizzie McNeiles. WOW. Probably about -15 degrees, that is 15 DEGREES BELOW ZERO or -26 Celsius. And don't forget the 15 to 20 mile wind chill factor. This was a Chicago Area record cold hash and three hounds came out for the trail, Its Too Soft, Berts Special Friend and Horn-E. I know I was dressed so warm that I had to undo two vests and take off my gloves on occasion to let the excess heat out of my body. Its Too Soft was dressed in yuppie cold weather gear and looked like he was ready for a poler excursion. He looked so out of place the homeless were challenging him for showing off while they were struggling to stay alive. And Berts Special Friend just sort of blended in as he led us most of the way on this excursion into the depths of Lower Wacker Drive. After we went to the Condo of The King Of Bed Bugs and watched the bed bug races around his bed. I actually picked the winner 2 out of 7 times. I enjoyed a Zombie beer and when I went to get another, chilling on the balcony. It was frozen. So much for chilling beer outside at -15 degrees. Thu 31 Jan 2019 actually saw a warm up of about 5 to 10 degrees. And we had a huge build up over Wednesday's hash. Two  hares, Just James ans SnatchSquatch and five hounds. And Just James actually swept the trail and did a good job. We lost Silent But Deadly early on as she tried to short cut. Next time I saw her was back at the bar. But the rest of us sort of stayed together until they lost me on Lincoln. Hey, when have we ever lost Horn-E before. Actually I almost caught them again just before the beer stop at the gazebo. By then I had my gloves off again to let the heat out of my body and stood there, well below Zero, drinking beer with no gloves. Who else was on trail? Just Mary, Its Too Soft and Wanky Wonky. Good circle back at the bar. Sun, the 3rd of Feb, 2019, was our annual Super Bowl Party hash out of Little Trojan Annie's and W Jew 40's house. Only it wasn't. They had a burst pipe in their apartment and had to find a last minute replacement. Chunder Pussy and Back Door County volunteered and he started planning another great meat extravaganza and she started making pudding shots. Just as I left home to head to the original location, I decided to make a last minute check on the Chicago Hash web site. WHAT? Emergency change of plans and now I was running out the door to catch whatever bus I could catch so I might not be to damn late. I ran up to their house to see the hare, Mommy's Little Accident, standing out front, just about to take off on a live trail. I made it. And we had another big turnout for trail. Not. Just five again. Horn-E, Sandy Syphilis, Cums On Everybody, Furry Spice and a visitor from San Francisco who may return for grad school next year, Bloody Good Head. A short trail that kept us out of most alleys and mostly dry in the warming weather and melting snow. After we stood in the back yard for about 45 minutes for circle and I stood there in just a t-shirt and pants. After two extremely cold hashes last week, my body adapted as best as it could and I was warm. Of course it was a balmy 47 degrees. But think how cold I would have been last October dressed like that. Our bodies can do many great things when pressed and trained for it. But we have to get out there and do it. Last week we had four separate hares and 13 hounds or nine separate hashers. We can do better. Come on out. Just dress properly, maybe an extra layer or two and the weather isn't so overwhelming. The hashes are still fun.        On On

Tales of the Trail:
Last Thu Jan 17, 2019, Soul Taco laid trail out of Beaumonts for TH3 and 12 hounds. We're really getting bigger packs again and it is getting colder and colder. But come on out, and dress warm. Soul Taco had us going back and forth as we headed towards De Paul and a Check. Got us all good and the pack was scattered throughout De Paul while the trail went east. Well done. More zig zagging as trail stayed close to Beaumont in a counter clockwise direction. I was falling behind and came to a BN near Oz Park. Nope, not there. Damn. No B at the hill. So I returned finding I Eat Dick, Hooch B4 Cooch and Its Too Soft. We headed south and I soon found three marks, They quickly passed me and were soon out of sight. So I ranged and found nothing. Damn. Getting late I headed past mansion row and towards OZ park again. And suddenly some FRBs ran right by me. I followed and was 4th to the BS at the hill. When I was previously there, Soul Taco hadn't laid that part yet. Back at the bar we had a decent circle and fell into drinking, at $1 a bottle and $2 craft beers. Good time.

Sat 1/17/2019 was a Bushman Hash in La Bagh Woods with Horn-E haring and major snow was expected. I had that problem last week. But this week the snow, about 6 inches, (yes I know what six inches is), stopped just before I needed to be laying trail. I actually started laying trail about a quarter mile into trail at the bridge over the river on Cicero. Plowing into the woods and virgin snow for most of the early trail as I took it east along the river. eventually I went up hill, inland and headed the trail over to some wet lands. Ooops. the wet lands were covered in snow, but had a lot of low level slush and cooold water. I quickly retreated and put a big X on the ground. Do not go past. So I skirted the wetlands and a herd of deer and headed to the old railroad right a way. From here I took the pack further east and up to a wall where Mommys Little Accident almost climbed. Damn, I should have done that. But trail went back west along the river and up a steep slippery hill. From here we crossed the old abandoned trestle and ran trail around another wet land with a few sort of nasty leaps across small drainage ditches. Or go around like the hare did. Eventually trail was to go past the parking lot and down to the river, out of the wind, for a beer stop. Coming into the parking lot there was a growing pack that hit 11 hounds. At about 2:35 I sent them off with directions to head for the bike path and keep going until they found marks. Then I went and set up the beer stop with Or G. Nice circle in the woods and then we headed to Aunt Ednas (Corrib) where I bought the first round, mostly Guinness, and we hung around for about three rounds. Good wind down and warm up. When we finally left, R-Tard-E dropped Its Too Soft and myself off at the Peterson bus and all was good.

On Sun 1/20/2019 we had a CH3 Hash. Lifa's annual snow hash with co-hares, Stab 'em  & Slab 'em and The Reverand Shut The Fuck Up. And we had snow after two years with no snow. 6 inches of virgin snow and we would go through a lot of virgin snow. Well, the 5 other runners on the Eagle Trail did. By the time I got there it was following footprints. Green flour didn't work as well in snow as it does on dry or wet land. So many marks were not visible until we were actually on them. But the trail wandered north towards the U of Chicago campus. But we never entered the campus. Instead it was back and forth through deep snow on the Midway Plaisance before working our way into Jackson Park and some more virgin snow. Finally we hit paths and a BN. And that was just south of the golden statue. By the time I got there, the walkers and runners had already left. The only ones there were the hares. That and a car with a dead battery. Ooops. So I left with The Reverend Shut The Fuck Up while Lifa waited for a Jump with Stab 'em & Slab 'em. Back at the Slab "em & Slab 'em house we found the pack waiting and already drinking beer. Soon the hares and rescue team returned and we started circle in the basement as usual. After circle we had the usual good feed with Chili, Italian beef, Mac n cheeze, and numerous other treats. I finally settled into football game with the hosts and Mudsucker, And after the game I got a ride to the Red Line from Mudsucker. One of the walkers was Meister who is an ex GM for Chicago. Hadn't seen him in over 15 years.

On On
Horn-E



Tales of the Trail:
On Thu, Jan 10, 2019 we had a Thirstday Hash set by our outgoing GM, Menstrual Casserole from Miskas, a TH3 favorite. We  had 20 hounds on trail and were soon off and running. I left the Pied Piper in my dust in the first few blocks as we headed north and eventually to the east. Or course the rest of the pack left me in their dust just as fast. I managed to catch them at Addison and Lincoln where they were struggling at a Check. But it was soon found to the south and eventually south on Lincoln. Again they left me in their dust and at a left turn I went straight thinking I need to catch up. At Lincoln and Belmont, I found no Check. Damn. Am I lost again. I went one more block south on Ashland and there was Silent But Deadly flying by and soon followed by Khal Drunko the Turd. I followed and after briefly losing them I found about five hounds and the hare at a shot stop. I eventually moved on walking and eventually running and the pack was soon catching up and we all arrived at Damen and Diversey for a Check. After going off on a False Trail we were returning and I followed Silent But Deadly into the old projects. We ran into Lifa and Its Too Soft and they had a mark. We headed north and were soon on, but there was no one else in sight to call out to. Well, again I got left in the dust and came to a Check at Clybourn and they were gone. I headed east and was soon on marks, but again, no one in sight. The next Check was in a park and it was marked BN. Furry Spice was just arriving from another direction and we took off to the North and East. I got lucky and found a Split heading into an alley and I was soon off to the races. Furry Spice was soon right behind me as trail headed over to Damen and north on Damen across Belmont and into a little park. Furry Spice caught me just as I reached the beer. If you keep trying and pushing yourself and managed to get positioned at the last few Checks, even a lost in the dust old man like myself can manage to be FRB. Back at the bar we held a very long fun circle and sent off Menstrual casserole in style. We wish her well.

Sat, Jan 19, 2019 was a Big Dog Hash, the Annual 8 Beer Stop Hash set at Catherine Chevalier Woods by Horn-E and Berts Special Friend for 14 hounds. It started snowing just as we started out on trail. White flour on trees works and it did. Even white TP in a prairie tied to tall weeds. What didn't work to well was the red marks on the ground as they soon got covered with fresh snow of about 1.5 inches. And so at the finish of laying trail, Berts Special Friend had to take off on trail and relay the red marks on the ground. But it worked. Our first Check was at the river and sure enough we got the whole pack heading south on a False where the trail usually went. This was the first time we headed north. Under I 90 and the Blue Line and we were into woods. Well, the usual character was soon up on a road and paralleling the pack following trail in the woods. If you aren't going to run in the woods, why are you out there. We soon ran by a cemetery and across Higgins and then east. Finally we entered the woods again and had out first beer stop. We found ourselves surrounded by water while laying the trail and figured why not. Since beer stops are Checks, let them find their way out of that mess. The Second one was up a tree and Khal Drunko The Turd played monkey getting it down. Then we were in a prairie for a Beer Stop in the middle of a Brier patch. Four had then really lost until TampOn TampOff finally crawled into a log to retrieve the beer. Five was a quick Beer Stop on the east side of East River Rd. Then they were racing back across the street to number six in the hollow of a tree. Seven was the nicest stop and about 12 hashers actually gathered after the beer was found and just hung around in the trees and out of the wind. What it is all about. The eighth beer stop was back near the start and down a hill. Everyone seemed to gather here and then head ON IN, We held a brief circle Big Dog style in a shelter, but the winds were blowing and it got cold. Pearl Vision was freezing the most. It was announced that we would head over to the usual bar in a high rise and unfortunately only four hounds followed the hares for the official On On On. But the food was good and many choices of beer to try.

On Sun, Jan 20, 2019, we had the Chicago Hash set by Dick Hermonica and Just Gurjit from Celtic Crown for 12 hounds. And besides myself eventually losing the pack, we almost also lost a visitor from Montreal, Just In The Ass. We also had one virgin, Just Ericka. Welcome. After a quick loop we headed west and over the river for a Check in a park at the base of a hill. I was way behind already and about to go left around the hill when I saw members of the pack to the right and over towards California. So I went that way, and found out we were on a Check and going no where. I finally found myself checking to the south on the right side of the hill when the trail was found on the left side of the hill. Damn. If I just kept going I would have been way in front without even knowing we were at that Check. Well, I could see some bright orange coats heading south and paralleled and soon saw the last of then disappearing in the distance. I couldn't find marks and ranged and was soon ON. No marks were swept, but I managed to guess correctly at all Splits and Checks until I hit Irving Park. Way behind, I decided to gamble and just head north on Lincoln and head for the usual park where we usually hold beer stops. I was about to quit and turned west only to see SnatchSquatch heading north and blowing his whistle. A block later I was entering the park and about 3rd or 4th to the beer stop. WTF. Sometimes you just get lucky. Back at the bar, Hooch B4 Cooch held circle and after circle, there was still plenty of beer left and we hung around socializing for a while.

Tales of the Trail: On Thu, Jan 10, 2019 we had a Thirstday Hash set by our outgoing GM, Menstrual Casserole from Miskas, a TH3 favorite. We  had 20 hounds on trail and were soon off and running. I left the Pied Piper in my dust in the first few blocks as we headed north and eventually to the east. Or course the rest of the pack left me in their dust just as fast. I managed to catch them at Addison and Lincoln where they were struggling at a Check. But it was soon found to the south and eventually south on Lincoln. Again they left me in their dust and at a left turn I went straight thinking I need to catch up. At Lincoln and Belmont, I found no Check. Damn. Am I lost again. I went one more block south on Ashland and there was Silent But Deadly flying by and soon followed by Khal Drunko the Turd. I followed and after briefly losing them I found about five hounds and the hare at a shot stop. I eventually moved on walking and eventually running and the pack was soon catching up and we all arrived at Damen and Diversey for a Check. After going off on a False Trail we were returning and I followed Silent But Deadly into the old projects. We ran into Lifa and Its Too Soft and they had a mark. We headed north and were soon on, but there was no one else in sight to call out to. Well, again I got left in the dust and came to a Check at Clybourn and they were gone. I headed east and was soon on marks, but again, no one in sight. The next Check was in a park and it was marked BN. Furry Spice was just arriving from another direction and we took off to the North and East. I got lucky and found a Split heading into an alley and I was soon off to the races. Furry Spice was soon right behind me as trail headed over to Damen and north on Damen across Belmont and into a little park. Furry Spice caught me just as I reached the beer. If you keep trying and pushing yourself and managed to get positioned at the last few Checks, even a lost in the dust old man like myself can manage to be FRB. Back at the bar we held a very long fun circle and sent off Menstrual casserole in style. We wish her well. Sat, Jan 19, 2019 was a Big Dog Hash, the Annual 8 Beer Stop Hash set at Catherine Chevalier Woods by Horn-E and Berts Special Friend for 14 hounds. It started snowing just as we started out on trail. White flour on trees works and it did. Even white TP in a prairie tied to tall weeds. What didn't work to well was the red marks on the ground as they soon got covered with fresh snow of about 1.5 inches. And so at the finish of laying trail, Berts Special Friend had to take off on trail and relay the red marks on the ground. But it worked. Our first Check was at the river and sure enough we got the whole pack heading south on a False where the trail usually went. This was the first time we headed north. Under I 90 and the Blue Line and we were into woods. Well, the usual character was soon up on a road and paralleling the pack following trail in the woods. If you aren't going to run in the woods, why are you out there. We soon ran by a cemetery and across Higgins and then east. Finally we entered the woods again and had out first beer stop. We found ourselves surrounded by water while laying the trail and figured why not. Since beer stops are Checks, let them find their way out of that mess. The Second one was up a tree and Khal Drunko The Turd played monkey getting it down. Then we were in a prairie for a Beer Stop in the middle of a Brier patch. Four had then really lost until TampOn TampOff finally crawled into a log to retrieve the beer. Five was a quick Beer Stop on the east side of East River Rd. Then they were racing back across the street to number six in the hollow of a tree. Seven was the nicest stop and about 12 hashers actually gathered after the beer was found and just hung around in the trees and out of the wind. What it is all about. The eighth beer stop was back near the start and down a hill. Everyone seemed to gather here and then head ON IN, We held a brief circle Big Dog style in a shelter, but the winds were blowing and it got cold. Pearl Vision was freezing the most. It was announced that we would head over to the usual bar in a high rise and unfortunately only four hounds followed the hares for the official On On On. But the food was good and many choices of beer to try. On Sun, Jan 20, 2019, we had the Chicago Hash set by Dick Hermonica and Just Gurjit from Celtic Crown for 12 hounds. And besides myself eventually losing the pack, we almost also lost a visitor from Montreal, Just In The Ass. We also had one virgin, Just Ericka. Welcome. After a quick loop we headed west and over the river for a Check in a park at the base of a hill. I was way behind already and about to go left around the hill when I saw members of the pack to the right and over towards California. So I went that way, and found out we were on a Check and going no where. I finally found myself checking to the south on the right side of the hill when the trail was found on the left side of the hill. Damn. If I just kept going I would have been way in front without even knowing we were at that Check. Well, I could see some bright orange coats heading south and paralleled and soon saw the last of then disappearing in the distance. I couldn't find marks and ranged and was soon ON. No marks were swept, but I managed to guess correctly at all Splits and Checks until I hit Irving Park. Way behind, I decided to gamble and just head north on Lincoln and head for the usual park where we usually hold beer stops. I was about to quit and turned west only to see SnatchSquatch heading north and blowing his whistle. A block later I was entering the park and about 3rd or 4th to the beer stop. WTF. Sometimes you just get lucky. Back at the bar, Hooch B4 Cooch held circle and after circle, there was still plenty of beer left and we hung around socializing for a while.
Tales of the Trail: On Thu, Jan 10, 2019 we had a Thirstday Hash set by our outgoing GM, Menstrual Casserole from Miskas, a TH3 favorite. We  had 20 hounds on trail and were soon off and running. I left the Pied Piper in my dust in the first few blocks as we headed north and eventually to the east. Or course the rest of the pack left me in their dust just as fast. I managed to catch them at Addison and Lincoln where they were struggling at a Check. But it was soon found to the south and eventually south on Lincoln. Again they left me in their dust and at a left turn I went straight thinking I need to catch up. At Lincoln and Belmont, I found no Check. Damn. Am I lost again. I went one more block south on Ashland and there was Silent But Deadly flying by and soon followed by Khal Drunko the Turd. I followed and after briefly losing them I found about five hounds and the hare at a shot stop. I eventually moved on walking and eventually running and the pack was soon catching up and we all arrived at Damen and Diversey for a Check. After going off on a False Trail we were returning and I followed Silent But Deadly into the old projects. We ran into Lifa and Its Too Soft and they had a mark. We headed north and were soon on, but there was no one else in sight to call out to. Well, again I got left in the dust and came to a Check at Clybourn and they were gone. I headed east and was soon on marks, but again, no one in sight. The next Check was in a park and it was marked BN. Furry Spice was just arriving from another direction and we took off to the North and East. I got lucky and found a Split heading into an alley and I was soon off to the races. Furry Spice was soon right behind me as trail headed over to Damen and north on Damen across Belmont and into a little park. Furry Spice caught me just as I reached the beer. If you keep trying and pushing yourself and managed to get positioned at the last few Checks, even a lost in the dust old man like myself can manage to be FRB. Back at the bar we held a very long fun circle and sent off Menstrual casserole in style. We wish her well. Sat, Jan 19, 2019 was a Big Dog Hash, the Annual 8 Beer Stop Hash set at Catherine Chevalier Woods by Horn-E and Berts Special Friend for 14 hounds. It started snowing just as we started out on trail. White flour on trees works and it did. Even white TP in a prairie tied to tall weeds. What didn't work to well was the red marks on the ground as they soon got covered with fresh snow of about 1.5 inches. And so at the finish of laying trail, Berts Special Friend had to take off on trail and relay the red marks on the ground. But it worked. Our first Check was at the river and sure enough we got the whole pack heading south on a False where the trail usually went. This was the first time we headed north. Under I 90 and the Blue Line and we were into woods. Well, the usual character was soon up on a road and paralleling the pack following trail in the woods. If you aren't going to run in the woods, why are you out there. We soon ran by a cemetery and across Higgins and then east. Finally we entered the woods again and had out first beer stop. We found ourselves surrounded by water while laying the trail and figured why not. Since beer stops are Checks, let them find their way out of that mess. The Second one was up a tree and Khal Drunko The Turd played monkey getting it down. Then we were in a prairie for a Beer Stop in the middle of a Brier patch. Four had then really lost until TampOn TampOff finally crawled into a log to retrieve the beer. Five was a quick Beer Stop on the east side of East River Rd. Then they were racing back across the street to number six in the hollow of a tree. Seven was the nicest stop and about 12 hashers actually gathered after the beer was found and just hung around in the trees and out of the wind. What it is all about. The eighth beer stop was back near the start and down a hill. Everyone seemed to gather here and then head ON IN, We held a brief circle Big Dog style in a shelter, but the winds were blowing and it got cold. Pearl Vision was freezing the most. It was announced that we would head over to the usual bar in a high rise and unfortunately only four hounds followed the hares for the official On On On. But the food was good and many choices of beer to try. On Sun, Jan 20, 2019, we had the Chicago Hash set by Dick Hermonica and Just Gurjit from Celtic Crown for 12 hounds. And besides myself eventually losing the pack, we almost also lost a visitor from Montreal, Just In The Ass. We also had one virgin, Just Ericka. Welcome. After a quick loop we headed west and over the river for a Check in a park at the base of a hill. I was way behind already and about to go left around the hill when I saw members of the pack to the right and over towards California. So I went that way, and found out we were on a Check and going no where. I finally found myself checking to the south on the right side of the hill when the trail was found on the left side of the hill. Damn. If I just kept going I would have been way in front without even knowing we were at that Check. Well, I could see some bright orange coats heading south and paralleled and soon saw the last of then disappearing in the distance. I couldn't find marks and ranged and was soon ON. No marks were swept, but I managed to guess correctly at all Splits and Checks until I hit Irving Park. Way behind, I decided to gamble and just head north on Lincoln and head for the usual park where we usually hold beer stops. I was about to quit and turned west only to see SnatchSquatch heading north and blowing his whistle. A block later I was entering the park and about 3rd or 4th to the beer stop. WTF. Sometimes you just get lucky. Back at the bar, Hooch B4 Cooch held circle and after circle, there was still plenty of beer left and we hung around socializing for a while. On Thu, Dec 20, Little Trojan Annie and W Jew 40 hared out of the corner bar for an A to B trail ending at her house for circle. She declared it a short fun hash with no running, unless you really needed to. Hooch B4 Cooch did. But we mainly walked on past several Christmas lights sites and Chicago's most decorated house with Christmas directions that blind the eyes. Back at her house we settled into a real laid back circle. We had 8 hounds on trail.

On Sat, Dec 22, Horn-E was a late stand in hare for the Chicago Full Moon Hash and ran out of the Map Room. Would there be any out of town visitors. No. Hell, I was lucky to get one local hound, Hooch B4 Cooch. But I gave him a twisting trail that took him about an hour and we had beer on the 606 as we walked along. And then good beer back at the bar.

Sun Dec 23 was a Roffie Ragu trail from the Old Irving Brewery ending across the street. This time we had nine hounds and a nice trail where we all managed to stay pretty close together, through many angled streets and such. Beer stop was just west of the finish in a small park along the expressway. Beer was PBR tall boys and we had plenty sitting around when the hare
Excess money from regos will go to beere, but consider bringing your own stash of some to share. Eleft. When we finally finished that off, most of the pack crossed the street back to the brewery for grub.

Dec 26 was a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her and we only had 3 hounds on trail that included a visitor. But we managed to work our way through the course and Horn-E actually got in front for several blocks just before the finish. Back at the bar there were good beers to be had.


On Thu, Dec 27, Menstrual Casserole laid a GMs revenge Hash from Redmonds. We had 7 hounds on trail as she set a nice trail through the area. All right. Some bad marks here with colored straightline and wet pavement. We finally lost the trail on Lincoln Ave and Skull N Boner suddenly led us to her nearby house for an impromptu beer stop. We got on a phone and contacted the hare telling her we couldn't find the trail. She told us where to look and we ran on to a finish at her house. I fell behind and finally hit Sheffield and couldn't find another mark so I headed straight to the On In. Apparently I missed a bit of trail because some hounds came in after me. So there we sat/stood in her apartment with a large group of non r
HHHi HHHasherCheck calendar at  https://www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal s Check calendar at  https://www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal See my calendar at www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal aCheck calendar at  https://www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal nd my site at HHHinChicago.com. Visitors and new hashers (virgins), we start meeting at the listed times and start hashing a half hour later. Time for a quick beer.Anyone want off this list, email Horn-E at H3HornEH3 and it will be done.  This Week: I can't be held responsible for last minute changes. If you see something you might like to do, always verify at their web site for last minute changes or confirm with the hare. Thu. Jan. 10, 2019, 7:00pm, The Thirstday Hash. Menstrual Casserole, or glorious Grand Mattress is leaving ant this is her farewell hash. So come out and give her a great send off to the tune, F*** off you C***. We'll miss her. Now, who will take over. Is it a coup? Is it a G. M. appointment?. Will there be erections? Does anyone care. She is haring out of Miskas at Leavitt and Belmont. $10 Hash cash. ThirstdayH3.com Sat. Jan 12, 2018, 1:00pm, The Big Dog Hash, This is the 16th annual 8 Beer Stop Hash and Horn-E will hare with Berts Special Friend and maybe Son Of Spam out of the usual Catherine Chevalier Woods at East River Road and Bryn Mawr. For better directions, see our web site. After the hash we will hold a circle in the forest Preserve and then head over to the nearby highrises for more beer at Avalon. They also have good food. $6 Hash Cash.  bigdogh3.synthasite.com Sun. Jan 13, 2019, 2:00pm, The Chicago Hash. Deek Hermonica will hare out of Celtic Crown at 4301 N. Western. $10 Hash Cash ChicagoHash.com. Sat. Feb 16, 2019, The winter Campout Hash. Horn-E rented the same bunkhouse as last year at Camp Sullivan in Oak Forest. Register with Horn-E as soon as possible, please. Just $10. This is a pot luck hash. I'm bringing a large bowl of Chili. Plan on something to share and be willing to help on clean up, cooking, bringing party games, board games, card games. Excess rego will go to community beer, but think about bring some good beers and swap with others, Whatever. Will there be another midnight pajama Hash and of course a breakfast hash. Some belated Tales of the Trail. On Thu, Dec 20, Little Trojan Annie and W Jew 40 hared out of the corner bar for an A to B trail ending at her house for circle. She declared it a short fun hash with no running, unless you really needed to. Hooch B4 Cooch did. But we mainly walked on past several Christmas lights sites and Chicago's most decorated house with Christmas directions that blind the eyes. Back at her house we settled into a real laid back circle. We had 8 hounds on trail. On Sat, Dec 22, Horn-E was a late stand in hare for the Chicago Full Moon Hash and ran out of the Map Room. Would there be any out of town visitors. No. Hell, I was lucky to get one local hound, Hooch B4 Cooch. But I gave him a twisting trail that took him about an hour and we had beer on the 606 as we walked along. And then good beer back at the bar. Sun Dec 23 was a Roffie Ragu trail from the Old Irving Brewery ending across the street. This time we had nine hounds and a nice trail where we all managed to stay pretty close together, through many angled streets and such. Beer stop was just west of the finish in a small park along the expressway. Beer was PBR tall boys and we had plenty sitting around when the hare Excess money from regos will go to beere, but consider bringing your own stash of some to share. Eleft. When we finally finished that off, most of the pack crossed the street back to the brewery for grub. Dec 26 was a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her and we only had 3 hounds on trail that included a visitor. But we managed to work our way through the course and Horn-E actually got in front for several blocks just before the finish. Back at the bar there were good beers to be had. On Thu, Dec 27, Menstrual Casserole laid a GMs revenge Hash from Redmonds. We had 7 hounds on trail as she set a nice trail through the area. All right. Some bad marks here with colored straightline and wet pavement. We finally lost the trail on Lincoln Ave and Skull N Boner suddenly led us to her nearby house for an impromptu beer stop. We got on a phone and contacted the hare telling her we couldn't find the trail. She told us where to look and we ran on to a finish at her house. I fell behind and finally hit Sheffield and couldn't find another mark so I headed straight to the On In. Apparently I missed a bit of trail because some hounds came in after me. So there we sat/stood in her apartment with a large group of non runners and held a easy going circle. On Dec 29, there was a Rag Time Hash set by SnatchSquatch. No details. We're finally coming to the last trail of the year on Sun Dec 30, a Chicago H3 hash set by False Advertising and three virgins, Just Travis, Just Eric and Just Mark. We were at Parrots. We finally had a decent turnout. Sort of. Well, at least double figures on trail. 12 hounds. Trail worked its way east and a bit south to Lincoln Park, just south of Diversey where we then went in a big loop further to the south before leaving the park and heading into city streets. Suddenly we're heading right back to the bar and I'm in the rear with three others. But we can't go straight back so as I ranged the trail almost went straight back and into a little hidden street for a shot stop. I didn't stop and headed west on trail and eventually the pack started to catch me and slowly pass me until I ended up following and eventually losing the pack on a big loop around to the north and eventually that same spot for a beer stop. By then I went back to the bar. And there we had a great circle. On Jan 1, 2019, False Advertising set a trail from Twisted Spoke. They had four hounds and started out with something like a back Check 40, back to the bar for a quick shot stop. Then they ran on for a beer stop. Then on Thu Jan 3. we had a TH3 Hash from Roses set by Lifa. I just got there in time and was quickly following the pack as they slowly left me behind. But I caught them on Halsted at a Check they had trouble with. Didn't help me much. As I exited an alley they were already out of sight. I managed to get to the Check at Diversey and Clark and headed south. The trail went north and east. Meanwhile I kept ranging to the south and east and eventually found marks just before entering the park at the tunnel. And there was a Check. It wasn't marked, because as it turns out, I'm first there. I put faith in Lifa to take us on into the park. Half way around the lagoon and the pack arrives at the park and quickly finds trail to the south and west and the hell with the park. Damn. Well, I returned and they were gone and I ran and ranged on and finally came up behind Happy Ass Grabber as he crossed Sheffield, a few blocks before the beer stop. Back at the bar we held a rather laid back circle. Fri, Jan 4 was the 22nd annual winter Moon Hash set by Lower Wackoff from the Gladstone Lounge. Off to his usual tricks I found 7 False trails in the first three checks. Meanwhile Lifa was way ahead. We finally entered the Forest Preserve by the bridge over the tracks. I was running second and saw Lifa across the tracks. I yelled R U but he didn't hear. After crossing the tracks I found an arrow. Into deep shiggy. A False trail. Damn. I then back tracked and found the Check at the foot of the bridge. So I headed along the path and found another False. Damn, this is getting consistent. I think this is where the other runners, Mudsucker, Bloody Thighs and German Dungeon Porn found Lifa and headed into the woods and over to the tracks and long gone. I later found where they went into the woods, but never another mark. I found myself wandering in deep woods, surrounded by water, shiggy, briers and impassable sections before finally emerging about 45 minutes later. I was now by the trestle and crossed the tracks to find some marks. Back on trail. But I took the higher levels and wandered around the picnic shelter where they had a Check. They were long gone. I then headed out of the woods and suddenly there was an arrow, pointing over the bridge. Meanwhile, three hounds were just over Central near the river, about a hundred feet away, at the beer stop. But the arrow pointed across the foot bridge over the river and I followed on. Across the river there was a Check and two arrows there. One in twigs pointing north. Later we learned that Lifa followed that north to Devon and across the river to the west, About 72 miles off course. I was smarter. Yeah sure. I followed the arrow pointing straight west into the Golf Course. Found two. Then I ranged On and On until I crossed the river. No marks so I finally said this trail is over for me. So I headed for civilization and the local fence around the forest preserve. The holes were repaired. I tried about five separate places to get over before I finally tried to climb way up on a gate and squeeze between the two sections. Almost lost my nuts in the process and the local squirrels were watching and hoping. From here, I knew the general direction of the bar and followed the most colorful direction with Christmas light almost the whole way. Back at the bar I found Lifa and soon the rest arrived. And all was good. This wasn't a straight run or race for anyone. Myself, it was a good adventure as more hashes should be. I had fun. We ordered pizzas and sat around with an easy going circle and telling our tall tales. Sun was tha anal Just Justs Hash set by Son Of Spam, Berts Special Friend and Crotch Fire. They had eleven hounds on trail. I missed it because this old man is getting senile and forgot his bus pass. So I just went to the On In and the home of Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her where the pack had just arrived as I got there. Meat Inside Her was warming up several pizzas and putting out other snacks and we held an on and off again circle during commercials for the foot ball game. Good time. On On Horn-E
unners and held a easy going circle.

On Dec 29, there was a Rag Time Hash set by SnatchSquatch. No details.

We're finally coming to the last trail of the year on Sun Dec 30, a Chicago H3 hash set by False Advertising and three virgins, Just Travis, Just Eric and Just Mark. We were at Parrots. We finally had a decent turnout. Sort of. Well, at least double figures on trail. 12 hounds. Trail worked its way east and a bit south to Lincoln Park, just south of Diversey where we then went in a big loop further to the south before leaving the park and heading into city streets. Suddenly we're heading right back to the bar and I'm in the rear with three others. But we can't go straight back so as I ranged the trail almost went straight back and into a little hidden street for a shot stop. I didn't stop and headed west on trail and eventually the pack started to catch me and slowly pass me until I ended up following and eventually losing the pack on a big loop around to the north and eventually that same spot for a beer stop. By then I went back to the bar. And there we had a great circle.


On Jan 1, 2019, False Advertising set a trail from Twisted Spoke. They had four hounds and started out with something like a back Check 40, back to the bar for a quick shot stop. Then they ran on for a beer stop.

Then on Thu Jan 3. we had a TH3 Hash from Roses set by Lifa. I just got there in time and was quickly following the pack as they slowly left me behind. But I caught them on Halsted at a Check they had trouble with. Didn't help me much. As I exited an alley they were already out of sight. I managed to get to the Check at Diversey and Clark and headed south. The trail went north and east. Meanwhile I kept ranging to the south and east and eventually found marks just before entering the park at the tunnel. And there was a Check. It wasn't marked, because as it turns out, I'm first there. I put faith in Lifa to take us on into the park. Half way around the lagoon and the pack arrives at the park and quickly finds trail to the south and west and the hell with the park. Damn. Well, I returned and they were gone and I ran and ranged on and finally came up behind Happy Ass Grabber as he crossed Sheffield, a few blocks before the beer stop. Back at the bar we held a rather laid back circle.

Fri, Jan 4 was the 22nd annual winter Moon Hash set by Lower Wackoff from the Gladstone Lounge. Off to his usual tricks I found 7 False trails in the first three checks. Meanwhile Lifa was way ahead. We finally entered the Forest Preserve by the bridge over the tracks. I was running second and saw Lifa across the tracks. I yelled R U but he didn't hear. After crossing the tracks I found an arrow. Into deep shiggy. A False trail. Damn. I then back tracked and found the Check at the foot of the bridge. So I headed along the path and found another False. Damn, this is getting consistent. I think this is where the other runners, Mudsucker, Bloody Thighs and German Dungeon Porn found Lifa and headed into the woods and over to the tracks and long gone. I later found where they went into the woods, but never another mark. I found myself wandering in deep woods, surrounded by water, shiggy, briers and impassable sections before finally emerging about 45 minutes later. I was now by the trestle and crossed the tracks to find some marks. Back on trail. But I took the higher levels and wandered around the picnic shelter where they had a Check. They were long gone. I then headed out of the woods and suddenly there was an arrow, pointing over the bridge. Meanwhile, three hounds were just over Central near the river, about a hundred feet away, at the beer stop. But the arrow pointed across the foot bridge over the river and I followed on. Across the river there was a Check and two arrows there. One in twigs pointing north. Later we learned that Lifa followed that north to Devon and across the river to the west, About 72 miles off course. I was smarter. Yeah sure. I followed the arrow pointing straight west into the Golf Course. Found two. Then I ranged On and On until I crossed the river. No marks so I finally said this trail is over for me. So I headed for civilization and the local fence around the forest preserve. The holes were repaired. I tried about five separate places to get over before I finally tried to climb way up on a gate and squeeze between the two sections. Almost lost my nuts in the process and the local squirrels were watching and hoping. From here, I knew the general direction of the bar and followed the most colorful direction with Christmas light almost the whole way. Back at the bar I found Lifa and soon the rest arrived. And all was good. This wasn't a straight run or race for anyone. Myself, it was a good adventure as more hashes should be. I had fun. We ordered pizzas and sat around with an easy going circle and telling our tall tales.


Sun was tha anal Just Justs Hash set by Son Of Spam, Berts Special Friend and Crotch Fire. They had eleven hounds on trail. I missed it because this old man is getting senile and forgot his bus pass. So I just went to the On In and the home of Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her where the pack had just arrived as I got there. Meat Inside Her was warming up several pizzas and putting out other snacks and we held an on and off again circle during commercials for the foot ball game. Good time.

On Thu, Dec 20, Little Trojan Annie and W Jew 40 hared out of the corner bar for an A to B trail ending at her house for circle. She declared it a short fun hash with no running, unless you really needed to. Hooch B4 Cooch did. But we mainly walked on past several Christmas lights sites and Chicago's most decorated house with Christmas directions that blind the eyes. Back at her house we settled into a real laid back circle. We had 8 hounds on trail. On Sat, Dec 22, Horn-E was a late stand in hare for the Chicago Full Moon Hash and ran out of the Map Room. Would there be any out of town visitors. No. Hell, I was lucky to get one local hound, Hooch B4 Cooch. But I gave him a twisting trail that took him about an hour and we had beer on the 606 as we walked along. And then good beer back at the bar. Sun Dec 23 was a Roffie Ragu trail from the Old Irving Brewery ending across the street. This time we had nine hounds and a nice trail where we all managed to stay pretty close together, through many angled streets and such. Beer stop was just west of the finish in a small park along the expressway. Beer was PBR tall boys and we had plenty sitting around when the hare Excess money from regos will go to beere, but consider bringing your own stash of some to share. Eleft. When we finally finished that off, most of the pack crossed the street back to the brewery for grub. Dec 26 was a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her and we only had 3 hounds on trail that included a visitor. But we managed to work our way through the course and Horn-E actually got in front for several blocks just before the finish. Back at the bar there were good beers to be had. On Thu, Dec 27, Menstrual Casserole laid a GMs revenge Hash from Redmonds. We had 7 hounds on trail as she set a nice trail through the area. All right. Some bad marks here with colored straightline and wet pavement. We finally lost the trail on Lincoln Ave and Skull N Boner suddenly led us to her nearby house for an impromptu beer stop. We got on a phone and contacted the hare telling her we couldn't find the trail. She told us where to look and we ran on to a finish at her house. I fell behind and finally hit Sheffield and couldn't find another mark so I headed straight to the On In. Apparently I missed a bit of trail because some hounds came in after me. So there we sat/stood in her apartment with a large group of non r HHHi HHHasherCheck calendar at  https://www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal s Check calendar at  https://www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal See my calendar at www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal aCheck calendar at  https://www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/HashCal nd my site at HHHinChicago.com. Visitors and new hashers (virgins), we start meeting at the listed times and start hashing a half hour later. Time for a quick beer.Anyone want off this list, email Horn-E at H3HornEH3 and it will be done.  This Week: I can't be held responsible for last minute changes. If you see something you might like to do, always verify at their web site for last minute changes or confirm with the hare. Thu. Jan. 10, 2019, 7:00pm, The Thirstday Hash. Menstrual Casserole, or glorious Grand Mattress is leaving ant this is her farewell hash. So come out and give her a great send off to the tune, F*** off you C***. We'll miss her. Now, who will take over. Is it a coup? Is it a G. M. appointment?. Will there be erections? Does anyone care. She is haring out of Miskas at Leavitt and Belmont. $10 Hash cash. ThirstdayH3.com Sat. Jan 12, 2018, 1:00pm, The Big Dog Hash, This is the 16th annual 8 Beer Stop Hash and Horn-E will hare with Berts Special Friend and maybe Son Of Spam out of the usual Catherine Chevalier Woods at East River Road and Bryn Mawr. For better directions, see our web site. After the hash we will hold a circle in the forest Preserve and then head over to the nearby highrises for more beer at Avalon. They also have good food. $6 Hash Cash.  bigdogh3.synthasite.com Sun. Jan 13, 2019, 2:00pm, The Chicago Hash. Deek Hermonica will hare out of Celtic Crown at 4301 N. Western. $10 Hash Cash ChicagoHash.com. Sat. Feb 16, 2019, The winter Campout Hash. Horn-E rented the same bunkhouse as last year at Camp Sullivan in Oak Forest. Register with Horn-E as soon as possible, please. Just $10. This is a pot luck hash. I'm bringing a large bowl of Chili. Plan on something to share and be willing to help on clean up, cooking, bringing party games, board games, card games. Excess rego will go to community beer, but think about bring some good beers and swap with others, Whatever. Will there be another midnight pajama Hash and of course a breakfast hash. Some belated Tales of the Trail. On Thu, Dec 20, Little Trojan Annie and W Jew 40 hared out of the corner bar for an A to B trail ending at her house for circle. She declared it a short fun hash with no running, unless you really needed to. Hooch B4 Cooch did. But we mainly walked on past several Christmas lights sites and Chicago's most decorated house with Christmas directions that blind the eyes. Back at her house we settled into a real laid back circle. We had 8 hounds on trail. On Sat, Dec 22, Horn-E was a late stand in hare for the Chicago Full Moon Hash and ran out of the Map Room. Would there be any out of town visitors. No. Hell, I was lucky to get one local hound, Hooch B4 Cooch. But I gave him a twisting trail that took him about an hour and we had beer on the 606 as we walked along. And then good beer back at the bar. Sun Dec 23 was a Roffie Ragu trail from the Old Irving Brewery ending across the street. This time we had nine hounds and a nice trail where we all managed to stay pretty close together, through many angled streets and such. Beer stop was just west of the finish in a small park along the expressway. Beer was PBR tall boys and we had plenty sitting around when the hare Excess money from regos will go to beere, but consider bringing your own stash of some to share. Eleft. When we finally finished that off, most of the pack crossed the street back to the brewery for grub. Dec 26 was a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her and we only had 3 hounds on trail that included a visitor. But we managed to work our way through the course and Horn-E actually got in front for several blocks just before the finish. Back at the bar there were good beers to be had. On Thu, Dec 27, Menstrual Casserole laid a GMs revenge Hash from Redmonds. We had 7 hounds on trail as she set a nice trail through the area. All right. Some bad marks here with colored straightline and wet pavement. We finally lost the trail on Lincoln Ave and Skull N Boner suddenly led us to her nearby house for an impromptu beer stop. We got on a phone and contacted the hare telling her we couldn't find the trail. She told us where to look and we ran on to a finish at her house. I fell behind and finally hit Sheffield and couldn't find another mark so I headed straight to the On In. Apparently I missed a bit of trail because some hounds came in after me. So there we sat/stood in her apartment with a large group of non runners and held a easy going circle. On Dec 29, there was a Rag Time Hash set by SnatchSquatch. No details. We're finally coming to the last trail of the year on Sun Dec 30, a Chicago H3 hash set by False Advertising and three virgins, Just Travis, Just Eric and Just Mark. We were at Parrots. We finally had a decent turnout. Sort of. Well, at least double figures on trail. 12 hounds. Trail worked its way east and a bit south to Lincoln Park, just south of Diversey where we then went in a big loop further to the south before leaving the park and heading into city streets. Suddenly we're heading right back to the bar and I'm in the rear with three others. But we can't go straight back so as I ranged the trail almost went straight back and into a little hidden street for a shot stop. I didn't stop and headed west on trail and eventually the pack started to catch me and slowly pass me until I ended up following and eventually losing the pack on a big loop around to the north and eventually that same spot for a beer stop. By then I went back to the bar. And there we had a great circle. On Jan 1, 2019, False Advertising set a trail from Twisted Spoke. They had four hounds and started out with something like a back Check 40, back to the bar for a quick shot stop. Then they ran on for a beer stop. Then on Thu Jan 3. we had a TH3 Hash from Roses set by Lifa. I just got there in time and was quickly following the pack as they slowly left me behind. But I caught them on Halsted at a Check they had trouble with. Didn't help me much. As I exited an alley they were already out of sight. I managed to get to the Check at Diversey and Clark and headed south. The trail went north and east. Meanwhile I kept ranging to the south and east and eventually found marks just before entering the park at the tunnel. And there was a Check. It wasn't marked, because as it turns out, I'm first there. I put faith in Lifa to take us on into the park. Half way around the lagoon and the pack arrives at the park and quickly finds trail to the south and west and the hell with the park. Damn. Well, I returned and they were gone and I ran and ranged on and finally came up behind Happy Ass Grabber as he crossed Sheffield, a few blocks before the beer stop. Back at the bar we held a rather laid back circle. Fri, Jan 4 was the 22nd annual winter Moon Hash set by Lower Wackoff from the Gladstone Lounge. Off to his usual tricks I found 7 False trails in the first three checks. Meanwhile Lifa was way ahead. We finally entered the Forest Preserve by the bridge over the tracks. I was running second and saw Lifa across the tracks. I yelled R U but he didn't hear. After crossing the tracks I found an arrow. Into deep shiggy. A False trail. Damn. I then back tracked and found the Check at the foot of the bridge. So I headed along the path and found another False. Damn, this is getting consistent. I think this is where the other runners, Mudsucker, Bloody Thighs and German Dungeon Porn found Lifa and headed into the woods and over to the tracks and long gone. I later found where they went into the woods, but never another mark. I found myself wandering in deep woods, surrounded by water, shiggy, briers and impassable sections before finally emerging about 45 minutes later. I was now by the trestle and crossed the tracks to find some marks. Back on trail. But I took the higher levels and wandered around the picnic shelter where they had a Check. They were long gone. I then headed out of the woods and suddenly there was an arrow, pointing over the bridge. Meanwhile, three hounds were just over Central near the river, about a hundred feet away, at the beer stop. But the arrow pointed across the foot bridge over the river and I followed on. Across the river there was a Check and two arrows there. One in twigs pointing north. Later we learned that Lifa followed that north to Devon and across the river to the west, About 72 miles off course. I was smarter. Yeah sure. I followed the arrow pointing straight west into the Golf Course. Found two. Then I ranged On and On until I crossed the river. No marks so I finally said this trail is over for me. So I headed for civilization and the local fence around the forest preserve. The holes were repaired. I tried about five separate places to get over before I finally tried to climb way up on a gate and squeeze between the two sections. Almost lost my nuts in the process and the local squirrels were watching and hoping. From here, I knew the general direction of the bar and followed the most colorful direction with Christmas light almost the whole way. Back at the bar I found Lifa and soon the rest arrived. And all was good. This wasn't a straight run or race for anyone. Myself, it was a good adventure as more hashes should be. I had fun. We ordered pizzas and sat around with an easy going circle and telling our tall tales. Sun was tha anal Just Justs Hash set by Son Of Spam, Berts Special Friend and Crotch Fire. They had eleven hounds on trail. I missed it because this old man is getting senile and forgot his bus pass. So I just went to the On In and the home of Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her where the pack had just arrived as I got there. Meat Inside Her was warming up several pizzas and putting out other snacks and we held an on and off again circle during commercials for the foot ball game. Good time. On On Horn-E unners and held a easy going circle. On Dec 29, there was a Rag Time Hash set by SnatchSquatch. No details. We're finally coming to the last trail of the year on Sun Dec 30, a Chicago H3 hash set by False Advertising and three virgins, Just Travis, Just Eric and Just Mark. We were at Parrots. We finally had a decent turnout. Sort of. Well, at least double figures on trail. 12 hounds. Trail worked its way east and a bit south to Lincoln Park, just south of Diversey where we then went in a big loop further to the south before leaving the park and heading into city streets. Suddenly we're heading right back to the bar and I'm in the rear with three others. But we can't go straight back so as I ranged the trail almost went straight back and into a little hidden street for a shot stop. I didn't stop and headed west on trail and eventually the pack started to catch me and slowly pass me until I ended up following and eventually losing the pack on a big loop around to the north and eventually that same spot for a beer stop. By then I went back to the bar. And there we had a great circle. On Jan 1, 2019, False Advertising set a trail from Twisted Spoke. They had four hounds and started out with something like a back Check 40, back to the bar for a quick shot stop. Then they ran on for a beer stop. Then on Thu Jan 3. we had a TH3 Hash from Roses set by Lifa. I just got there in time and was quickly following the pack as they slowly left me behind. But I caught them on Halsted at a Check they had trouble with. Didn't help me much. As I exited an alley they were already out of sight. I managed to get to the Check at Diversey and Clark and headed south. The trail went north and east. Meanwhile I kept ranging to the south and east and eventually found marks just before entering the park at the tunnel. And there was a Check. It wasn't marked, because as it turns out, I'm first there. I put faith in Lifa to take us on into the park. Half way around the lagoon and the pack arrives at the park and quickly finds trail to the south and west and the hell with the park. Damn. Well, I returned and they were gone and I ran and ranged on and finally came up behind Happy Ass Grabber as he crossed Sheffield, a few blocks before the beer stop. Back at the bar we held a rather laid back circle. Fri, Jan 4 was the 22nd annual winter Moon Hash set by Lower Wackoff from the Gladstone Lounge. Off to his usual tricks I found 7 False trails in the first three checks. Meanwhile Lifa was way ahead. We finally entered the Forest Preserve by the bridge over the tracks. I was running second and saw Lifa across the tracks. I yelled R U but he didn't hear. After crossing the tracks I found an arrow. Into deep shiggy. A False trail. Damn. I then back tracked and found the Check at the foot of the bridge. So I headed along the path and found another False. Damn, this is getting consistent. I think this is where the other runners, Mudsucker, Bloody Thighs and German Dungeon Porn found Lifa and headed into the woods and over to the tracks and long gone. I later found where they went into the woods, but never another mark. I found myself wandering in deep woods, surrounded by water, shiggy, briers and impassable sections before finally emerging about 45 minutes later. I was now by the trestle and crossed the tracks to find some marks. Back on trail. But I took the higher levels and wandered around the picnic shelter where they had a Check. They were long gone. I then headed out of the woods and suddenly there was an arrow, pointing over the bridge. Meanwhile, three hounds were just over Central near the river, about a hundred feet away, at the beer stop. But the arrow pointed across the foot bridge over the river and I followed on. Across the river there was a Check and two arrows there. One in twigs pointing north. Later we learned that Lifa followed that north to Devon and across the river to the west, About 72 miles off course. I was smarter. Yeah sure. I followed the arrow pointing straight west into the Golf Course. Found two. Then I ranged On and On until I crossed the river. No marks so I finally said this trail is over for me. So I headed for civilization and the local fence around the forest preserve. The holes were repaired. I tried about five separate places to get over before I finally tried to climb way up on a gate and squeeze between the two sections. Almost lost my nuts in the process and the local squirrels were watching and hoping. From here, I knew the general direction of the bar and followed the most colorful direction with Christmas light almost the whole way. Back at the bar I found Lifa and soon the rest arrived. And all was good. This wasn't a straight run or race for anyone. Myself, it was a good adventure as more hashes should be. I had fun. We ordered pizzas and sat around with an easy going circle and telling our tall tales. Sun was tha anal Just Justs Hash set by Son Of Spam, Berts Special Friend and Crotch Fire. They had eleven hounds on trail. I missed it because this old man is getting senile and forgot his bus pass. So I just went to the On In and the home of Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her where the pack had just arrived as I got there. Meat Inside Her was warming up several pizzas and putting out other snacks and we held an on and off again circle during commercials for the foot ball game. Good time.

On Thu. 13 Dec 2018, we had a Thirstday Hash out of Lotties by Hooch B4 Cooch and Silent But Deadly and it rained. But that didn't stop about 40 or 50 hashers from running trail. What happened to the single digits we've been getting lately? Oh, yeah. visitors for the Anthrax Hash. Trail looked good as far as I could see as I fell behind with a few others. Eventually the green powder marks disappeared. Back at the bar we were in the basement party room and we held a very loud circle and then partied on into the night.

Then on Fri night, 14 Dec 2018,  Lifa and Berts Special Friend laid trail from Redmonds for the opening of the Anthrax Weekend and about 60 hounds took off on a very fast and well laid trail. One shot stop and one beer stop and eventually a circle on Its Too Soft's roof deck with a smoky warming fire and chaos as usual. Then we moved on to the bar and partied on into the night.

Sat 15 Dec 2018, was the anal Anthrax Hash with about four trails for almost 200 hashers besides those that never leave camp. Wooses. Then food and a never ending circle and partying into the night. Well done, Chicago Hash.

Sat 15 Dec, 2018. For those last minute arrivals and those in Chicago who wanted a more laid back hashing time, there was the only other hash in town for under $125. Yes, The Bushman Hash set as usual on the third Sat of every month by Horn-E and out of Caldwell Woods. We had four hounds, The Gas Stop Bob, Or G, R-Tard-E and Lower Wackoff. A nice run through the woods, wet lands and grass lands with hardly any injuries. We ended up with German, Chech, and Danish beer over looking the river through the woods. Then we retired to the home of Lower Wackoff for our annual Christmad party. (Maybe a gift exchange next year). We had some good grub and snacks and beer and were joined by 6 non runners for a nice laid back party.

On Sunday16 Dec, 2018,  the Anthrax hangover hash was run out of Roscoes with hares Rusty Grundel and Dr. Cockvorkain setting trail. I'm sure there were a lot of visitors still around for a long trail and long fair well circle and beer on on and on on.



On Thu. we had a Thirstday Hash out of Lotties by Hooch B4 Cooch and Silent But Deadly and it rained. But that didn't stop about 40 or 50 hashers from running trail. What happened to the single digits we've been getting lately? Oh, yeah. visitors for the Anthrax Hash. Trail looked good as far as I could see as I fell behind with a few others. Eventually the green powder marks disappeared. Back at the bar we were in the basement party room and we held a very loud circle and then partied on into the night. Then on Fri night, Lifa and Berts Special Friend laid trail from Redmonds for the opening of the Anthrax Weekend and about 60 hounds took off on a very fast and well laid trail. One shot stop and one beer stop and eventually a circle on Its Too Soft's roof deck with a smoky warming fire and chaos as usual. Then we moved on to the bar and partied on into the night. Sat was the anal Anthrax Hash with about four trails for almost 200 hashers besides those that never leave camp. Wooses. Then food and a never ending circle and partying into the night. Well done, Chicago Hash. For those last minute arrivals and those in Chicago who wanted a more laid back hashing time, there was the only other hash in town for under $125. Yes, The Bushman Hash set as usual on the third Sat of every month by Horn-E and out of Caldwell Woods. We had four hounds, The Gas Stop Bob, Or G, R-Tard-E and Lower Wackoff. A nice run through the woods, wet lands and grass lands with hardly any injuries. We ended up with German, Chech, and Danish beer over looking the river through the woods. Then we retired to the home of Lower Wackoff for our annual Christmad party. (Maybe a gift exchange next year). We had some good grub and snacks and beer and were joined by 6 non runners for a nice laid back party. On Sunday the Anthrax hangover hash was run out of Roscoes with hares Rusty Grundel and Dr. Cockvorkain setting trail. I'm sure there were a lot of visitors still around for a long trail and long fair well circle and beer on on and on on.
On Thu, 6 Dec 2018, Silent But Deadly laid trail for TH3 from Rite Liquors on an A to B trail. I heard there were about 8 hounds on trail which is about double what we have been averaging lately. That is a step in the right direction. The trail ended up at the Feather Palace.

Fri 7 Dec 2018, saw the Son Of Spam laying trail from the Diversey River Bowl for the First Crack Of The Moon Hash. Well, we were back to the low numbers for this devious trail of only four hounds, Horn-E, Lifa, Whiskey Dick Up, and J David. The trail ended up behind the local strip mall where security came by and scared away the pack with their open beers. But inside we got a couple of tubes and pitchers of beer and with some late arriving friends, we started Cosmic Bowling. We had a total of seven bowlers including one bowler showing us his trick bowling. He actually got one strike bowling between his legs. Of course that went along with about a half dozen gutter balls. We weren't good that night. But Horn-E managed to come in second just two pins better then Son Of Spam. Or was that two pins less bad.

On Sat, 8 Dec 2018, we had another hash with only four hounds on trail for the Big Dogs Hash out of Thatcher Woods set by Lower Wackoff. Good trail and this late arriving hound managed to get through trail just as False Advertising got to the Beer Stop. All woods on a beautiful day and the trail was just mischievous enough that the hare got lost on his own trail while sweeping and only falling once. Others on trail were Lifa and Crotch Fire. Yeah, another day of only four on trail. What is happening out there. Lets hash. After we headed over to the Crystal Palace of Zone 2 and False Advertising where Lower Wackoff provided some good sausages and hot dogs and Zone 2 had a warm drink waiting for us.

Sun 9 Dec 2018, was a Chicago Hash set from On Tour Brewery by False Advertising. I got there late and headed off on a short trail that was later extended to about four miles. Wow, a turnout of double figures. Is summer here already. I eventually found a pack of hounds at Chicago and Ashland and a few blocks later we were at the Beer Stop, but no beer. Well, we soon resolved that. We also had one new virgin, Just Mark. After we had a long walk back to the brewery where a hash party was in progress and soon winding down. It was a farewell party for O'Shitty Runch and Foamy Discharge. They are moving to silicon valley and the state of California, about the  only state in the union that might be worse then Illinois with worse taxes. If you are bailing out of Illinois, shouldn't you at least try to go to a better place? Just asking. Come back and visit us often.  Oh, by the way, the brewery had some damn good beers.


On Thu 29 Nov, 2018, there was a trail set by Its Too Soft for TH3 at Beaumonts. There was an awesome turnout of 5 Hounds bringing the average of the last three hashes to 4 hounds on trail. WOW. We headed out to the west on Armitage and I already lost track of the two FRBs, Eat My Pussy and Gay Dancer. And Famming Flaggott was behind me. I missed trail at two turns on one corner and already had four extra blocks to my credit before I got back on trail. At about this point I was joined by the late arriving visitor, Stain Gretsky from DC. She went to Dugans as previously posted and later changed. This is the reason that me must always avoid late minute changes and hopefully, if necessary, go to the nearest alternate possibility. Anyway, we ran on together, or at least she led, as we moved along. The next Split had us going the wrong way and upon returning, we went one block north and missed the Check as some damn statue instead of the corner. With no marks on the corner, we ranged west and found two marks and then nothing. About five extra blocks of ranging we returned and then I figured we might be on a Check. So we Split up and I found the trail through De Paul. From here on it was mostly predictable with a few missing marks before the trail settled in. And then naturally I went lame. Damn hand me down shoes. So I fell behind and Stain Gretsky ran on alone until she couldn't find a Check on North Ave. She finally ran on in to the bar. Meanwhile I ranged and found the beer stop at the hill in Oz Park. But no beer. So I went back to the bar and enjoyed Happy Hour $2 Craft Beers.

There was a Sun Hash 2 Dec 2018, for CH3, set by SnatchSquatch at Burkes Web Pub, but I missed it.

On Wed, 28 Nov. 2018, Horn-E laid a trail for Whiskey Wednesday Hash from Barrelman. We actually had one more hound then CH3 last Sunday. Are we growing or are they shrinking. Conditions weren't the best for laying trail. Unshoveled sidewalks, icy streets and sidewalks and occasionally lousy terrain for laying marks in messy snow and no lights. But I got it done with red colored flour and white drywall. Then I had to wait and see how they would manage the trail. And as I gave chalk talk, the first flurries of snow started. DAMN. And it snowed for the next 75 minutes and managed to cover the marks. But everyone somehow managed to find trail up to the second last turn mark leading to the Whiskey Stop. And I was standing in the snow for over a half hour waiting for them and only Eat My Pussy was the only one to make it. But eventually we all got back to the bar and had a few drinks. 

On Wed, 21 Nov. 2018, Gay Dancer laid a great trail for the Chicago Full Moon Hash. Maybe. I fu*ked up and missed it. Yes again. We ran out of Bar Atlantic and we had a great turnout. The Foam Queen, Berts Special Friend, Meat Inside Her, Silent But Deadly, and Horn-E. We decided to cancel the planned karaoke at the end of the trail due to a small turnout. Trail took off to the north and a quick Triple Split. I went the wrong way and never saw anyone again. Got back on trail and a few marks later there was another Split, north and south. Unmarked so I picked north because the finish was supposed to be north. About 4 miles later I finally returned to the bar and everyone was there waiting for me. Damn. We held a short laid back circle and headed out into the night.

On Nov 22, 2018, there was supposed to be a Thirstday Hash but I'm not sure where, But I heard that about 8 showed so those that showed didn't have to spend Thanksgiving alone. Thanks for the hare getting it done. 
Then on Sat there was a Rag Time Hash set by Ritilan Cum Bubble from his house. I assume it went off well. Sun was the regular Chicago Hash from Beaumonts set by Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd. When I got there, there was a message on the ground about change of location. The bar was closed. Well I got to the new location in time to be greeted by a huge crowd of two other hounds, So it would be just the three of us, Silent But Deadly, Deek Hermonica and Horn-E. That could be the smallest Chicago Hash I've ever seen. But we headed out following yellow chalk marks and after a bad start, the marks were good despite the wet ground. Nice trail from what I saw. Yeah, again I got off trail. Going down an alley south of North, heading north after a Triple Split a block south and I was off trail. So I exited the alley and attempted to parallel the other two. First street and there they were. Second street, no one in sight, Several blocks later I circled back to where they were last seen and found out why I missed them. They kept going after that first street, but found no marks, Returning they saw a hidden mark heading north towards North Ave, where i was, but no longer am. Damn. So, now I'm back on trail and about five or six blocks behind. I crossed North and found a Split. Looking west I saw a sign that said, Do Not Enter. So naturally I thought the trail went that way. A block later I emerged from that tiny street to see a mark heading west. so naturally I followed it. It was a False from a Check I missed. Now I'm about ten blocks behind. So from the Check I headed north and I was On. Until I was off. A turn arrow  to the east. They are long gone. Actually a block away, they were at a shot stop. So, knowing where the B was, I just headed over there, thinking Silent But Deadly would be there dancing around in the cold, pissed off waiting for Horn-E again. Instead I found the hares and the beer in Oz Park. And there we waited. The trail went over to the Zoo and around that lagoon just south of the Zoo. There the other two got split up at a Five Way Split. Meanwhile we were getting colder and eventually after about 15 minutes, Deek Hermonica came walking on in. Another ten minutes later Silent But Deadly showed up with a cup of hot chocolate. So, trying to keep her from waiting in the cold, I ended up waiting in the cold. From there we decided to head for a bar at Halsted and Armitage where Deek Hermonica led us in a short fun laid back sitting circle. Then we headed into the back room and shot about six games of pool showing each other how bad we really where. But we had fun. .Then on Sat there was a Rag Time Hash set by Ritilan Cum Bubble from his house. I assume it went off well. Sun was the regular Chicago Hash from Beaumonts set by Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd. When I got there, there was a message on the ground about change of location. The bar was closed. Well I got to the new location in time to be greeted by a huge crowd of two other hounds, So it would be just the three of us, Silent But Deadly, Deek Hermonica and Horn-E. That could be the smallest Chicago Hash I've ever seen. But we headed out following yellow chalk marks and after a bad start, the marks were good despite the wet ground. Nice trail from what I saw. Yeah, again I got off trail. Going down an alley south of North, heading north after a Triple Split a block south and I was off trail. So I exited the alley and attempted to parallel the other two. First street and there they were. Second street, no one in sight, Several blocks later I circled back to where they were last seen and found out why I missed them. They kept going after that first street, but found no marks, Returning they saw a hidden mark heading north towards North Ave, where i was, but no longer am. Damn. So, now I'm back on trail and about five or six blocks behind. I crossed North and found a Split. Looking west I saw a sign that said, Do Not Enter. So naturally I thought the trail went that way. A block later I emerged from that tiny street to see a mark heading west. so naturally I followed it. It was a False from a Check I missed. Now I'm about ten blocks behind. So from the Check I headed north and I was On. Until I was off. A turn arrow  to the east. They are long gone. Actually a block away, they were at a shot stop. So, knowing where the B was, I just headed over there, thinking Silent But Deadly would be there dancing around in the cold, pissed off waiting for Horn-E again. Instead I found the hares and the beer in Oz Park. And there we waited. The trail went over to the Zoo and around that lagoon just south of the Zoo. There the other two got split up at a Five Way Split. Meanwhile we were getting colder and eventually after about 15 minutes, Deek Hermonica came walking on in. Another ten minutes later Silent But Deadly showed up with a cup of hot chocolate. So, trying to keep her from waiting in the cold, I ended up waiting in the cold. From there we decided to head for a bar at Halsted and Armitage where Deek Hermonica led us in a short fun laid back sitting circle. Then we headed into the back room and shot about six games of pool showing each other how bad we really where. But we had fun.

Sun was the regular Chicago Hash from Beaumonts set by Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd. When I got there, there was a message on the ground about change of location. The bar was closed. Well I got to the new location in time to be greeted by a huge crowd of two other hounds, So it would be just the three of us, Silent But Deadly, Deek Hermonica and Horn-E. That could be the smallest Chicago Hash I've ever seen. But we headed out following yellow chalk marks and after a bad start, the marks were good despite the wet ground. Nice trail from what I saw. Yeah, again I got off trail. Going down an alley south of North, heading north after a Triple Split a block south and I was off trail. So I exited the alley and attempted to parallel the other two. First street and there they were. Second street, no one in sight, Several blocks later I circled back to where they were last seen and found out why I missed them. They kept going after that first street, but found no marks, Returning they saw a hidden mark heading north towards North Ave, where i was, but no longer am. Damn. So, now I'm back on trail and about five or six blocks behind. I crossed North and found a Split. Looking west I saw a sign that said, Do Not Enter. So naturally I thought the trail went that way. A block later I emerged from that tiny street to see a mark heading west. so naturally I followed it. It was a False from a Check I missed. Now I'm about ten blocks behind. So from the Check I headed north and I was On. Until I was off. A turn arrow  to the east. They are long gone. Actually a block away, they were at a shot stop. So, knowing where the B was, I just headed over there, thinking Silent But Deadly would be there dancing around in the cold, pissed off waiting for Horn-E again. Instead I found the hares and the beer in Oz Park. And there we waited. The trail went over to the Zoo and around that lagoon just south of the Zoo. There the other two got split up at a Five Way Split. Meanwhile we were getting colder and eventually after about 15 minutes, Deek Hermonica came walking on in. Another ten minutes later Silent But Deadly showed up with a cup of hot chocolate. So, trying to keep her from waiting in the cold, I ended up waiting in the cold. From there we decided to head for a bar at Halsted and Armitage where Deek Hermonica led us in a short fun laid back sitting circle. Then we headed into the back room and shot about six games of pool showing each other how bad we really where. But we had fun.

Then on Sat there was a Rag Time Hash set by Ritilan Cum Bubble from his house. I assume it went off well. Sun was the regular Chicago Hash from Beaumonts set by Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd. When I got there, there was a message on the ground about change of location. The bar was closed. Well I got to the new location in time to be greeted by a huge crowd of two other hounds, So it would be just the three of us, Silent But Deadly, Deek Hermonica and Horn-E. That could be the smallest Chicago Hash I've ever seen. But we headed out following yellow chalk marks and after a bad start, the marks were good despite the wet ground. Nice trail from what I saw. Yeah, again I got off trail. Going down an alley south of North, heading north after a Triple Split a block south and I was off trail. So I exited the alley and attempted to parallel the other two. First street and there they were. Second street, no one in sight, Several blocks later I circled back to where they were last seen and found out why I missed them. They kept going after that first street, but found no marks, Returning they saw a hidden mark heading north towards North Ave, where i was, but no longer am. Damn. So, now I'm back on trail and about five or six blocks behind. I crossed North and found a Split. Looking west I saw a sign that said, Do Not Enter. So naturally I thought the trail went that way. A block later I emerged from that tiny street to see a mark heading west. so naturally I followed it. It was a False from a Check I missed. Now I'm about ten blocks behind. So from the Check I headed north and I was On. Until I was off. A turn arrow  to the east. They are long gone. Actually a block away, they were at a shot stop. So, knowing where the B was, I just headed over there, thinking Silent But Deadly would be there dancing around in the cold, pissed off waiting for Horn-E again. Instead I found the hares and the beer in Oz Park. And there we waited. The trail went over to the Zoo and around that lagoon just south of the Zoo. There the other two got split up at a Five Way Split. Meanwhile we were getting colder and eventually after about 15 minutes, Deek Hermonica came walking on in. Another ten minutes later Silent But Deadly showed up with a cup of hot chocolate. So, trying to keep her from waiting in the cold, I ended up waiting in the cold. From there we decided to head for a bar at Halsted and Armitage where Deek Hermonica led us in a short fun laid back sitting circle. Then we headed into the back room and shot about six games of pool showing each other how bad we really where. But we had fun.Then on Sat there was a Rag Time Hash set by Ritilan Cum Bubble from his house. I assume it went off well. Sun was the regular Chicago Hash from Beaumonts set by Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd. When I got there, there was a message on the ground about change of location. The bar was closed. Well I got to the new location in time to be greeted by a huge crowd of two other hounds, So it would be just the three of us, Silent But Deadly, Deek Hermonica and Horn-E. That could be the smallest Chicago Hash I've ever seen. But we headed out following yellow chalk marks and after a bad start, the marks were good despite the wet ground. Nice trail from what I saw. Yeah, again I got off trail. Going down an alley south of North, heading north after a Triple Split a block south and I was off trail. So I exited the alley and attempted to parallel the other two. First street and there they were. Second street, no one in sight, Several blocks later I circled back to where they were last seen and found out why I missed them. They kept going after that first street, but found no marks, Returning they saw a hidden mark heading north towards North Ave, where i was, but no longer am. Damn. So, now I'm back on trail and about five or six blocks behind. I crossed North and found a Split. Looking west I saw a sign that said, Do Not Enter. So naturally I thought the trail went that way. A block later I emerged from that tiny street to see a mark heading west. so naturally I followed it. It was a False from a Check I missed. Now I'm about ten blocks behind. So from the Check I headed north and I was On. Until I was off. A turn arrow  to the east. They are long gone. Actually a block away, they were at a shot stop. So, knowing where the B was, I just headed over there, thinking Silent But Deadly would be there dancing around in the cold, pissed off waiting for Horn-E again. Instead I found the hares and the beer in Oz Park. And there we waited. The trail went over to the Zoo and around that lagoon just south of the Zoo. There the other two got split up at a Five Way Split. Meanwhile we were getting colder and eventually after about 15 minutes, Deek Hermonica came walking on in. Another ten minutes later Silent But Deadly showed up with a cup of hot chocolate. So, trying to keep her from waiting in the cold, I ended up waiting in the cold. From there we decided to head for a bar at Halsted and Armitage where Deek Hermonica led us in a short fun laid back sitting circle. Then we headed into the back room and shot about six games of pool showing each other how bad we really where. But we had fun.
Then on Sat there was a Rag Time Hash set by Ritilan Cum Bubble from his house. I assume it went off well. Sun was the regular Chicago Hash from Beaumonts set by Pearl Vision and Khal Drunko The Turd. When I got there, there was a message on the ground about change of location. The bar was closed. Well I got to the new location in time to be greeted by a huge crowd of two other hounds, So it would be just the three of us, Silent But Deadly, Deek Hermonica and Horn-E. That could be the smallest Chicago Hash I've ever seen. But we headed out following yellow chalk marks and after a bad start, the marks were good despite the wet ground. Nice trail from what I saw. Yeah, again I got off trail. Going down an alley south of North, heading north after a Triple Split a block south and I was off trail. So I exited the alley and attempted to parallel the other two. First street and there they were. Second street, no one in sight, Several blocks later I circled back to where they were last seen and found out why I missed them. They kept going after that first street, but found no marks, Returning they saw a hidden mark heading north towards North Ave, where i was, but no longer am. Damn. So, now I'm back on trail and about five or six blocks behind. I crossed North and found a Split. Looking west I saw a sign that said, Do Not Enter. So naturally I thought the trail went that way. A block later I emerged from that tiny street to see a mark heading west. so naturally I followed it. It was a False from a Check I missed. Now I'm about ten blocks behind. So from the Check I headed north and I was On. Until I was off. A turn arrow  to the east. They are long gone. Actually a block away, they were at a shot stop. So, knowing where the B was, I just headed over there, thinking Silent But Deadly would be there dancing around in the cold, pissed off waiting for Horn-E again. Instead I found the hares and the beer in Oz Park. And there we waited. The trail went over to the Zoo and around that lagoon just south of the Zoo. There the other two got split up at a Five Way Split. Meanwhile we were getting colder and eventually after about 15 minutes, Deek Hermonica came walking on in. Another ten minutes later Silent But Deadly showed up with a cup of hot chocolate. So, trying to keep her from waiting in the cold, I ended up waiting in the cold. From there we decided to head for a bar at Halsted and Armitage where Deek Hermonica led us in a short fun laid back sitting circle. Then we headed into the back room and shot about six games of pool showing each other how bad we really where. But we had fun.
On Thu 15 Nov. 2018, we had a TH3 Hash from Danny's Tap Room with W Jew 40, Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Foamy Discharge haring for only 8 hounds. And we lost two of them, J Ben and I Feel Tower a visitor. How did they get lost? Well, maybe like me. We did a quick turn to the west and had a quick Check. Fine. The FRBs were scattered. I finally followed three hounds heading south in an alley. I followed after they turned east. When I got back around, everyone was long gone. I went back to the Check on the northeast corner and it wasn't marked. So I crossed the street to the west side and saw a sweep true trail mark heading north. After no marks up to the next corner, I crossed the street to the east and there was a Split pointing north and west. I headed north. Meanwhile the late arriving Eat My Pussy showed up streaking north following that same FALSE SWEEP TRAIL MARK I saw. He went three blocks and found nothing. I went two and a little more. We finally returned and followed that Split to the west. We were soon on. Thanks for marking that trail wrong. WTF. Learn how to mark trail as a sweep or don't mark them. A wrong mark is worse then no mark at all. The next Split was marked correctly and we headed south in an alley and eventually further west. And there was another Split. This one was pointing north down a street and west into a gangway or whatever. But there was another of those True Trail sweep marks. Pointing south. I followed that south all the way to Milwaukee and no marks. Returning, I decided to range around the block and head north. I finally found the trail coming out of a gangway or whatever. Duh. Fucked again by the phantom sweep saboteur. Thanks a fuckin lot. At this point, I figured that it would be futile to proceed and find more of these marks. Smart move. I headed over to that little park just east of Western on hopes that the trail would end there at a familiar beer stop. As I got there, Eat My Pussy and O'Shitty Runch ran by. Now there is some good luck. I followed then down an alley to the beer stop in the back yard of W Jew 40 and Little Trojan Annie's new house. Back at the bar we had a nice circle R A'd by Litle Trojan Annie and those two missing hashers never showed up. Wonder how and where they lost trail.


Then on Sat 17 Nov 2018, we had the 162nd running of the Bushman Hash, every 3rd Sat since Jun 2005. I remember something I read on another hashes web site some time back. Something about a rising tide floats all boats. But sometimes it seems that the bigger boats like to throw anchors onto the smaller boats and keep them from rising with the tide. Well, it happened again, just when we think that the bigger boats are getting more friendly and not always sabotaging other  boats, it happened again. And this after many years of cooperating on this date and rising together. Well, we are still afloat and still "the greatest hash." We had only three hounds joining the hare, Horn-E. But they had a decent woods trail in the snow, mostly laid with white flour on trees. Yeah, white on white. It really worked better. We had a small section of briars and then it was open woods and trails the rest of the way. There was one small stream crossing that we could jump across. I got my feet wet later in a small hole and wet mud. We even suckered Lifa into running around the golf course on False trails. At the finish it was an all Goose Island circle and pretzels. Berts Special Friend was FRB and Lower Wackoff was DFL. After we went over to Draft where we had three rounds of Guinness pints before heading home. Good time. I'll get my turkey on Thanksgiving.


On Thu we had a TH3 Hash from Danny's Tap Room with W Jew 40, Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Foamy Discharge haring for only 8 hounds. And we lost two of them, J Ben and I Feel Tower a visitor. How did they get lost? Well, maybe like me. We did a quick turn to the west and had a quick Check. Fine. The FRBs were scattered. I finally followed three hounds heading south in an alley. I followed after they turned east. When I got back around, everyone was long gone. I went back to the Check on the northeast corner and it wasn't marked. So I crossed the street to the west side and saw a sweep true trail mark heading north. After no marks up to the next corner, I crossed the street to the east and there was a Split pointing north and west. I headed north. Meanwhile the late arriving Eat My Pussy showed up streaking north following that same FALSE SWEEP TRAIL MARK I saw. He went three blocks and found nothing. I went two and a little more. We finally returned and followed that Split to the west. We were soon on. Thanks for marking that trail wrong. WTF. Learn how to mark trail as a sweep or don't mark them. A wrong mark is worse then no mark at all. The next Split was marked correctly and we headed south in an alley and eventually further west. And there was another Split. This one was pointing north down a street and west into a gangway or whatever. But there was another of those True Trail sweep marks. Pointing south. I followed that south all the way to Milwaukee and no marks. Returning, I decided to range around the block and head north. I finally found the trail coming out of a gangway or whatever. Duh. Fucked again by the phantom sweep saboteur. Thanks a fuckin lot. At this point, I figured that it would be futile to proceed and find more of these marks. Smart move. I headed over to that little park just east of Western on hopes that the trail would end there at a familiar beer stop. As I got there, Eat My Pussy and O'Shitty Runch ran by. Now there is some good luck. I followed then down an alley to the beer stop in the back yard of W Jew 40 and Little Trojan Annie's new house. Back at the bar we had a nice circle R A'd by Litle Trojan Annie and those two missing hashers never showed up. Wonder how and where they lost trail. Then on Sat we had the 162nd running of the Bushman Hash, every 3rd Sat since Jun 2005. I remember something I read on another hashes web site some time back. Something about a rising tide floats all boats. But sometimes it seems that the bigger boats like to throw anchors onto the smaller boats and keep them from rising with the tide. Well, it happened again, just when we think that the bigger boats are getting more friendly and not always sabotaging other  boats, it happened again. And this after many years of cooperating on this date and rising together. Well, we are still afloat and still "the greatest hash." We had only three hounds joining the hare, Horn-E. But they had a decent woods trail in the snow, mostly laid with white flour on trees. Yeah, white on white. It really worked better. We had a small section of briars and then it was open woods and trails the rest of the way. There was one small stream crossing that we could jump across. I got my feet wet later in a small hole and wet mud. We even suckered Lifa into running around the golf course on False trails. At the finish it was an all Goose Island circle and pretzels. Berts Special Friend was FRB and Lower Wackoff was DFL. After we went over to Draft where we had three rounds of Guinness pints before heading home. Good time. I'll get my turkey on Thanksgiving.

On Thu 8 Nov 2018, I found out at the last minute that Ritilin Cum Bubble would be setting a trail from Park & Field for TH3. We only had 7 hounds on a nice night for running. The high, no low light was a check under the 606 trail. We went everywhere looking for marks and found almost nothing. Only two marks heading north in an alley. I finally retraced some steps to check out an alley to the west. Nothing. As I turned around and headed back I suddenly found a mark, potentially pointing straight up a hill to 606. WTF.  Well, I charged/crawled up and there was the next mark and a third and we were off and running. Unfortunately Lifa, False Advertising and Complimentary Nuts were now missing. From here it was an easy trail on 606 and off again and just barely on where we found the Beer and Lifa. False Advertising eventually gave up and returned to the bar. We were able to get Complimentary Nuts on a phone and gave him directions and finally, all was good. Then it took me 4.5 hours to get home.


On Thu I found out at the last minute that Ritilin Cum Bubble would be setting a trail from Park & Field for TH3. We only had 7 hounds on a nice night for running. The high, no low light was a check under the 606 trail. We went everywhere looking for marks and found almost nothing. Only two marks heading north in an alley. I finally retraced some steps to check out an alley to the west. Nothing. As I turned around and headed back I suddenly found a mark, potentially pointing straight up a hill to 606. WTF.  Well, I charged/crawled up and there was the next mark and a third and we were off and running. Unfortunately Lifa, False Advertising and Complimentary Nuts were now missing. From here it was an easy trail on 606 and off again and just barely on where we found the Beer and Lifa. False Advertising eventually gave up and returned to the bar. We were able to get Complimentary Nuts on a phone and gave him directions and finally, all was good. Then it took me 4.5 hours to get home.

Fri, 9 Nov. 2018, brought us a First Crack Of The Moon Hash with Lower Wackoff laying trail from Yackos. There were only three hounds, Horn-E, Meat Inside Her and Berts Special Friend and it was bloody cold with a strong wind and miserable wind chills for three hounds who weren't acclimated to the cold yet. Maybe we are now. We had a short run in a few streets before heading into the Forest Preserve and a nasty Check in a parking lot. But in the woods, the wind was down and it wasn't to bad. It took about 20 minutes to find that trail and just a few minutes later we were at another Check on a bridge. Two Falses later and Berts Special Friend found trail and Horn-E managed to slip ahead and find the beer, Boo Bee and Bingo. We held a quick circle and headed back to Yackos where we had $2 drafts and ordered a pizza. Good time, But still damn cold.

On Sat, 10 Nov, 2018, there was a Big Dog Hash,
set by
Hooch B4 Cooch from the Irish Nobelman for an A to B trail at Noon. I set out early enough to get there about 20 minutes early. Then the CTA bus went by early as I approached the bus stop. So I opted for plan B, about the same timing but over to the Red Line. Bad move. When I got to the platform, I found out that the southbound train would not stop there and I had to go all the way to Howard. WTF. So, north I went. At Howard, as the train pulled into the station, I saw a south bound train waiting on the other platform. So I ran over the bridge to catch the train followed by about 75 to 100 pissed off customers. As I ran down the steps, the SON OF A BITCH pulled out and left us all standing there. Now we were really pissed. Now I will definitely be late, but I can only hope that someone marks the trail and I can eventually make the beer stop. Finally at Chicago Ave. I get there at 1:25. Could I possibly get there during circle. Nope. When the bus arrives after about 1:35 it is jammed packed like worse then rush hour. We drive on and suddenly we are on a detour as the Chicago Ave Bridge is out. And everyone goes the same way and the traffic is worst then rush hour in a snow storm. I finally arrive at the bar and, unbelievably they are just holding circle, one hour late. And there were only three hounds, now four with me.
So we take off and are relatively together until a Triple Split after about a mile later. When I got there, no one seemed to be On. I eventually followed The King Of Bedbugs and wasn't On. Then suddenly On. Then there was a Split. And it was marked with sticks to go right. A long block later and a long block back and I found trail to the left. Thanks. Now I'm hopelessly behind, but the trail, although mostly unswept, was mostly predicatble. Finally after a Check on Armitage, I found trail and suddenly found a Split, marked to go straight. I went a block straight, three times and never saw the next mark. So, ranging and generally giving up I stumbled on marks and then at the next Check I lost it and quit. I got to the beer Stop just after they left and they head over to Soul Tacos House. We quickly held a circle inside with a few others, non runners. And then a big party broke out with more and more hashers turning up. I knew nothing of this, but apparently three hash couples are breeding and this was a party for them.

Sun Nov 11, 2018, was the Chicago Hashes regular day and after three hashes with 7, then 3, then 4 hounds, I didn't know what to expect. But it was Veteran's Day and a lot of hashers would have the next day off. And it would be centrally located at Parrots. I Eat Dick was the hare. Wow, fourteen hounds. The trail wasn't to long and we had a slight bit of trail through Lincoln Park and eventually over to a Check at Sheffield. Duh, Menstraul Casserole lives a few blocks to the south. So I led a small contingent of five hounds through the alley and we were soon at the beer stop. And the hare provided us with some good Goose Island and Revolution beers. Back at the bar, Hooch B4 Cooch took over the circle and we had one damn good and long circle. After that we slowly dispersed when the beer budget ended.


On Wed, Oct 10, 2018, for The First Crack of the Moon Hash,
Son Of Spam and Silent But Deadly laid trail from Park Tavern for 8 trail hounds. I arrived late, but caught up with Lower Wackoff and we managed to follow the mostly well swept trail to the finish in a park. Here Son Of Spam passed on the Grand Master position to Meat Insider. Does that make her the First Crack of the First Crack Of The Moon Hash? Just asking. That just cracks me up. She then announced that she would have Silent But Deadly act as Hare Raiser. We eventually went back to the bar for some grub and a beer.

Then on Thu, Oct 11, 2018, I again showed up late. Damn CTA. But Captains Log, Furry Spice and Just Sasha laid the WTOTY for The Thirstday Hash and eleven hounds.
Trail was well swept and and I soon crossed the bridge on Montrose. I could see flashlights heading south on the new river trail path. I short cut in the adjacent park and somehow missed the same flashlights as they then headed to the west side of the park as I headed south on the east side. Shit happens. I missed a shot stop in the park. Good. A few blocks later, trail went through a gangway and there were the hares, directing me to a roof deck for a beer stop. Eventually we left and ran about another mile to another shot stop. From here there was a back check and I opted for ranging and soon headed over the river and towards Western. I soon found marks and ran into the usual park and there were the hares. Done. Eventually the pack ranged on in. At Celtic Crown and after circle, we got around to naming Just Sasha. She will be forever more be known as Brother Incisor. 

On Sun Oct 14, 2018, I made it to the Feather Nest in time for the Chicago Hash laid by Just Mike and Hooch B4 Cooch. Then it took off 25 minutes late with nine hounds on trail and about that many who just walked to the beer stop. Wimps. Five were soon out of sight and four of us struggled to find the trail. We almost lost Lifa who did a fast kiss of the curb on Elston. Meanwhile we ran on to the beer stop at Soul Tacos. There after some furious playing of four square, we were told that there was another beer stop. This time only five of us took off. At the first Check we lost the three front runners who kept going south and never looked back. Horn-E found trail to the west and he and Lifa followed the trail until the last mark, a Split, a half block from Feather's Nest. Apparently there was no second beer stop and everyone was already back by the time we finished trail. Then we had a shitty circle led by Furry Spice and a naming led by Menstrual Casserole for Just Mike. He will forever more be know as Maybe Molly.

Last week hashes:

Th, Oct. 4, 2018, was a Thirstday Hash with a last minute change of hare as Foamy Discharge stepped up and laid a Marathon prelube hash of 2.62 miles from Danny's Tap Room. Having lost a chunk of my ass on Mon. I begged for the beer stop location in case I really couldn't run. Well, I could, but slower then normal. Trail went south and nine hounds took off. I managed to stay with the pack until shortly after we passed North and Western, heading east. I ranged a bit and finally gave up when I saw no marks on 606. So I headed north towards the beer stop location. Finally heading west a block I found the pack heading east. Ooops. So I just kept heading north and finally the pack came back to me on Western at Logan. From here I let them find the Beer Stop although I knew it was just past the skate park. Then after a short beer stop in paper cups, they ran on and I walked with the hares over to the parkway by some trees for the final beer stop. Everyone managed to make it in with False Advertising coming in FRB, with the exception of SnatchSquatch who finally lost the trail for good and went back to the bar. And speaking of the bar, we had several groupies show up and we circled in the back yard.

Then on Sun, Oct 7, 2018 we had the Marathon beer stop as usual near mile 23. And as usual, we had many volunteers who contributed beer, cups, garbage bags,
signs, and enthusiasm as we passed out about 2500 cups of beer to the eager and grateful marathoners. A good time was had by all volunteers. Thanks for coming out. I actually met a guy who hashed in Katmandu back in 1983. Maybe he'll come out and join us. I also saw one guy who ran barefoot. Many were taped up and whatever they had to do to finish the marathon. Saw one guy running on springs with both feet and lower calfs missing. And well done to all of those in wheelchairs.

Then we went over to Turtles for the usual Sun, Oct 7, 2018Chicago Hash where SnatchSquatch and Ball Cock Dumper laid a trail of about 3 miles. Yeah, I did at least four as one of 6 hashers who ran the trail. I never saw Hooch B4 Cooch as he must have found trail early and really moved on to Home plate. Found myself with Silent But Deadly and Dr. Cockvorkian early on and we hit one of many Splits. They went west and I found trail north. She kept going and ranging and wasn't seen until she hit home plate. Meanwhile Dr. Cockvorkian ket on trail to another Check He went left, right, I went right, wrong. Never saw him again until home plate. I ran on through checks and Splits and finally Soul Taco and Jolly Green Jizzer caught me. We struggled for a bit on some Checks and Splits and finally I found one Check and soon they caught me and passed me. I never saw them again until the finish at home plate. If you were counting, that was all five and I came in DFL as usual, sliding into home plate for a 6-0 finish. We circled at the historic home plate before heading back to the bar for some more beer and grub.


On Wed, Sep 26, 2018, we ran a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Snotcho Mama from The Map Room. We had a small pack for the WWH3 of only 5 hounds, but a decent trail and the pack mostly stayed together. We also had two virgins, Just Tim and Just Rose, a competitive Pole Dancer. I've never even seen our local Poles dance. I mean not even the Polka. After a short Whiskey stop we headed over to the Map Room for some good beers.

Then on Thu Sep 27, 2018, we had the TH3 Hash set by Silent But Deadly for 13 hounds from Miska's. I had my doubts on this one as the Hare was sleeping in the bar before the trail. But we took off to the west and had a real long check at Western and Clybourn. Naturally I was off to the west as trail was found to the Northeast through an empty lot. I thought that was it for me, but we mostly regrouped at a baby stop. O'Shitty Runch and Foamy Discharge. Have we named that baby yet. No, we can't name it Shitty Discharge. How about Foamy Runch? She hares tonight. Anyhow, the trail took off again to the north and I soon fell behind and lost track of the pack. I finally regrouped with a few hashers just before the beer stop and then fell behind again as the trail headed over to the usual park south of the bar for a beer stop. By the time I came in, DFL, some had already left the beer stop. Back at the bar we had the usual good circle and unlimited beer.    

On Sun Sep 30, 2018, we had a Chicago Hash set by Hooch B4 Cooch & Silent But Deadly for 10 hounds. Just after we took off I pulled something in my right knee. Damn, it sure sucks to get old. So by the first check two blocks later I was a limping fool. But no one went north so I did and soon I was on the third mark, but missed a turn mark. So I short cut to the pack and was soon following Slit Digger as we led to a Check at Elston and California. I went south on California and was soon on. I stood at the third mark for at least five minutes, a Split, and shouted and waved back at the check hangers and no one looked my way. As slow as I am, I wasn't running all the way back. I quickly solved the Split and returned to mark it and again I tried a few more minutes, but no one looked my was and so I took off. I had several more Splits that I went back and marked. They weren't far as most of the Splits were all to short and easy to solve. No wonder some trails get blown away. It takes no time to solve the Splits. Anyway, Slit Digger eventually caught me at the next Check and we went left. The pack arrived and solved the Check to the right. Shortly after that there was a T and E Split that I missed, but I was on the Turkey Trail. I saw three hounds a block away, including out Virgin, Just Caroline. But I got stuck by a light. When I got to where I last saw them there was a weird mark. Actually it was a mark bringing the T and E trails back together. But they read it wrong and saw it as a Split and went right. They were now on the Eagle trail backwards. Meanwhile I came up and went left and three blocks later I was FRB to the beer stop. It was a long time later before the rest of the pack arrived.
From here there was more trail. I followed it with a visitor who was mostly walking. We finally got to Wester and Logan Blvd, just a few blocks from the bar and we headed there. Unfortunately the trail didn't and went to a second beer stop. Ooops. We eventually went back looking for them and found them just after they left the 2nd beer stop.
Back at the bar, False Advertising led us in a circle with Old Style in cans.

On Wed, we ran a Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Snotcho Mama from The Map Room. We had a small pack for the WWH3 of only 5 hounds, but a decent trail and the pack mostly stayed together. We also had two virgins, Just Tim and Just Rose, a competitive Pole Dancer. I've never even seen our local Poles dance. I mean not even the Polka. After a short Whiskey stop we headed over to the Map Room for some good beers.


On Thu Sep 6, 2018, we had a Thirstday Hash as usual. And an old favorite bar, Double Bubble. But only 7 hounds showed up to hash on a cool BUT NOT COLD night. It was laid by Silent But Deadly and Just Kevin. Nice trail at least at the start. To the northwest and then through the Loyola campus. I led a few hounds south through two alleys after a Check. But I missed a turn. I looked back for those that were following me and they were gone. No whistles on yells of ON On. So I quickly found the trail but everyone was now long gone.Trail was marked until a Beer Near mark. I went straight for a block and a half but no marks. So I gave up and headed east and there were suddenly marks. Apparently a bunch of the others also got caught on that one. But a short beer stop and then over to the bar and the beer garden for a good circle.


Then on Sat Sep 8, 2018, was the Big Dog Hash set from the Chicago Beer Society Picnic. Many came for the beer and food, but only five hashes did the short but nice trail set by
Crash Test Blow Me.

We started the week 27 Aug, 2018. with a CH3 hash set by Dr. Cockvorkian and O'Shitty Runch from an old favorite, Miskas. Cheap beer. $30 30 packs. Now that is good. I counted an unusual  21 hounds with some virgins and visitors. Doc Cock, no I won't criticize your trail. Actually well laid with a nice mix of zig zag that kept the pack relatively close together. And that is what it is about. And then I blew that great trail wandering around during the to many drink stops and missed the final beer stop. Actually had a good run besides that. Circle was the usual good roust about in Miskas.

Then on Wed, 29 Aug, 2018, we had a Whiskey Wednesday hash from the roof deck of Its Too Soft, with 7 hounds including 2 visitors who mostly walked and got lost early. The rest of us stayed together only because we had such a hard time seeing the marks (colored chalk again, In the dark). I finally lost the small pack and circled a block several times looking for the next mark. Damn. Missed the Whiskey stop. Returned to the roof deck just before the pack and found the lost visitors. Some left over beer and we had a free hash on a beautiful night for hashing. You missed a nice trail and with more, we might have found those marks better. Please, white chalk only at night.

Thu 30 Aug 2018, was the TH3 Hash and it was set by Ritilin Cum Bubble from EZ Inn. Nice bar, but not great for a hash circle. The pack left as I arrived, but all of the splits were marked. Unfortunately none of the Checks were marked. I ran on and on and finally decided after two long Checks that I would never catch the pack and so short cut back and eventually came to the second beer stop ahead of about five hounds. Then suddenly we had three more cold cases of beer and were about to circle when they just as suddenly closed the beer stop and we went back to the bar. The DJ was already playing, but we arranged for a short circle in the dark. And we counted on One Fuck Chuck as our beer wench. And naturally he tipped his tray full of beer right in the middle of the circle. Rusty Grundle continued the circle and we called it after about 10 quick down downs.

Sat 1 Sep, 2018, was a late change of location for the Chicago Hash and it was from Han Tree Inn. Deek Harmonica was the hare and we got off to a lousy start, J. Virgit ( I probably got that wrong) pointed us to the south for the start. It went north. By the time Furry Spice finally passed me, I think he already ran a mile. But we 6 ran on and mostly stayed together following flour in case of more rain. No rain but enough sweating in the heat to get us all wet anyway. After the beer stop with Polish beers, we headed back to the bar. I was the beer wench and with three separate Taps at $7/pitcher, I bought one of each. After two pitchers each, Rolling Rock was the clear winner. Lite and Leinegugal tied for last, but Lifa declared that the Lieine tap was a bit  skunked. And it still tied Lite. After the beer and circle, we walked over to Taste of Palonia for some good grub, Kabob and Polish Sausage and kraut. I lost the pack then, but I think they were in the dry theater listening to the band. 


On Mon Aug 20, 2018, we had a CH3 Hash out of Skylark for about ten hashers, three of which arrived late and the pack was gone at 7:33. Rain was coming. Son Of Spam arrived at 7:36 and took off right away. He just entered an alley as I got off the bus at 7:36 and joined him. Its Too Soft arrived at 7:37 by another bus and finally caught us about half way through trail. A few blocks later the rain finally got hard enough to wash away any sign f the chalk marks. So we held an impromptu beer stop in Simone's and managed to contact the hare who came and picked us up in his car. He brought us to the beer stop undeer the Dan Ryan expressway where itwas nice and dry. Of course it didn't make any difference as the rain stopped. We held a circle there and then went back to Simone's.

Then came Thu. Aug 23, 2018, Just Michael laid trail from the Barrell and I heard about 12 or 15 hashers showed up. Couldn't make it myself, but I heard it was a good trail and they circled up in a park after.

Fri Aug 24, 208, we had a Chicago Full Moon Hash from Zalopane and set by Coma Toast and The Foam Queen. No Checks. The Checks are put into trails to help regroup the pack so those in back can keep up with those in front and those in front can get a longer more suitable run and those in back can get a shorter run. They did have many Splits, but those can be found more quickly. So we took off and had a quick Split. I ran off on trail as soon as it was called and soon passed by the back of the pack, except Lower Wackoff. I finally lost sight of Berts Special Friend and then at North and Ashland, i missed a faded turn arrow and went a long block straight north without a mark. Why a long block? Because the marks were already becoming few and far apart on many cases and we had to go far to make sure we were on trail. By now I completely lost Lower Wackoff and a short time later Hooch B4 Cooch passed me. Late arrival. He was also soon out of sight. Thankfully, hounds kept marking the Splits, correctly, and I didn't have to do any checking. That was good on a strung out pack. But that also turned the course into little more then a long training run with a lot of long straights. I started out running pretty good. For me anyhow. But by the end it was just slower and slower, making sure at every possible intersection that I didn't miss any turns in the dark shadows. Finally, the last Split wasn't marked. I went straight and as luck would have it, I went wrong. So I returned and marked that last split and headed north, missing the B on bad asphalt and going all the way to Division. Returning I ran into Lifa coming out of a back yard at the B. After sitting around for a good half hour, they quit waiting and already started the circle. But I managed a few good beers. Thanks. Finally Lower Wackoff came in and we were complete. After circle we went back to the bar and shortly after they were talking about going to a birthday party for Dr. Cockvorkian at Beer On Clark. I went along and there were about another 15 hashers there and beer was on a special price. Good time.

Sun Aug 26, 2018, was a Rag Time Hash set by Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her. Tried to go, but got a late start and finally decided against it. Hope they had a good time. Berts Special Friend was actually going to set a real trail for once of about four miles.


On Mon, Aug 13, 2018, The Chicago Hash was hared by Mudsucker from Turtles for 8 hounds. We ran over to the campus before a quick loop and back across the Dan Ryan and around Sox Park. Then south to a weed filled field for a quick beer. then on to the area of the old Stock Yards and down some tracks to another weed filled beer stop. From there it was over to the hares for the official beer stop. We then walked over to the bar and held a easy going circle at the sidewalk table area.

Then on Tue, Aug 14, 2018, Horn-E laid  trail for The First Crack of the Moon Hash
out of Double Bubble for 11 hounds. We ended up at the lakefront about 50 minutes later with the usual lime of bitches and then headed back to the bar and the beer garden for a nice laid back Moon style circle.

Thu, Aug 16, 2018,  had Just Ben and Just Eric laying trail from Danny's Tap Room for 18 hounds including some virgins. After a few mis-marks and a long check that had Horn-E running 3rd for a while, we finally came to a beer stop in an alley. Just Ben then took off early to make sure the trail from there to the finish had no more mis-marks and mistakes. Actually the course was mostly okay for virgin hares. But the second half of trail laid by Just Eric, had many long straight sections of two blocks or longer with no marks that had me going back to make sure I didn't miss a turn. Need at least one mark per short block and more on long blocks. Never to many marks on trail. There was one mis-mark on the last part of the trail as we crossed Armitage. The cross street was at an angle and there was a mark  indicating that. But some one set a hound mark straight across the street and a sharp left turn pointing west on Armitage. Well, just after a section of over two blocks without a mark, I was left with having to go two blocks or more to the west and back, only to find the trail a short distance on that angled street. REMEMBER: BAD MARKS ARE WORSE THEN NO MARKS AT ALL. If you mark something the wrong way, you sabotaged the trail. Good but long circle in the back beer garden smoking area. We had a visitor,  Chip N Dale from Denver so we had his usual order of Pizza's after (including anchovies) and the beer kept flowing on and on.

Then on Sat, Aug 18, 2018, Horn-E laid a BUSHMAN HASH for a dozen hounds.
Kitty Kitty Gang Bang ran her first Bushman trail and had two huge balls to prove she had the balls to run with the Bushman and become an official Bush Babe. And R-Tard-E also got a bandanna. Circle was under the model plane airfield and we watched planes doing flips and stuff every bit as good as the air show on the lake front. We also saw a herd of youf deer running back and forth over the air field while we circled. After we went across the street for grilling and Always Cums First had her special chicken to grill up and Lower Wackoff had other grillables and Just Do Me Slowly+- had grilled rice balls. Fresh fruit and cold beer and perfect weather.


On Tue, Aug 7, 2018, I did the 4X2H4 Hash an I hared from Lotties with a total of 9 Hounds. Then the rains came as I was about to leave home. So bad my street was flooded, over the curbs on both sides. That is a heavy rain. So I prepared for the worst and only a few hounds and a semi live trail. I arrived at 6:15 and Soul Taco was there and ready to run. The sky now looked like no rain so I took off laying trail with dry wall. The plan was to head east, but not past Ashland to the east and Armitage to the north, and to the south go only two blocks south of North. Then race back to the start to find out who was there so I could buy enough beer while laying trail. The pack was growing and there would be 7 of us. Three six packs. They were to take off and I went back to trail to finish laying it. Trail now stayed between North and Armitage and not go as far west as Western. Worked fine as I tried to run with a heavy back pack and hope the following pack of hounds wouldn't catch me. So, how do you do that. Tricky Checks and Splits, as often as possible to slow them down like a real hash and give myself more time. It worked. And almost everyone finished within a tight group. But now there were 10 of us and not quite enough beer. And then the bitching began. Five or more miles. Well, true trail was about 4 exactly. The checking got them, but it did keep the pack together. We finished without a BN. I made it up as I went and suddenly I saw the spot, so I just laid a B. Hell, I'm right there so they can't miss me. on the 606 bridge over Damen with a slight cool breeze on a muggy night. After, we went back to Lotties for another and I bought a pitcher of Old Man Grumpy. Good stuff from a grumpy old man.


On Mon, Jul 30, 2018, Glory Hole laid a hash for Chicago H3. And three Chicago Hashers actually showed up. We also had three new hashers, including two virgins. Hooch B4 Cooch showed up late and joined us half way through the trail. With that group we struggled over some Checks but we eventually managed to find trail. I finally fell way behind when a homeless lady in a wheel chair was blocking a turn arrow. Damn. By then I was far enough back that I took the Turkey trail as did the two virgin. The Eagle trail ran down an entrance to the Kennedy and up another entrance to the Kennedy. Fortunately they were under construction. We ended up on the Glory Deck with some snacks and left over beer from POP before we slowly drifted off.

On Thu Aug 2, 2018, we had three hares scheduled for a trail from Kasey's and ended up with two and the one not originally scheduled laid most of the trail. HUH!!! Originally Choke N Stroke, River Stone Annie and Silent But Deadly. But SBD bailed and Gay Dancer stepped up. Then RSA bailed and CNS arrived late and chased GD through most of the trail. And as she raced through the trail, so did the pack of 15. I actually started out near the front as trail was found to the east, but quickly fell behind while Checking and followed the pack south. New stuff and I ended up following Menstrual Casserole. Bad decision. She was following some people ranging and looking for a short cut as we ran south towards Roosevelt, but it was fenced off. Meanwhile the pack went up some stairs and off to Roosevelt and a Split that headed west. By the time i got there I was all alone and followed a well marked trail, but a race course with simple Checks and Splits and few of them. Eventually Cums On Everyone joined me as a late arrival. We ran most of that trail together and eventually ended up in the corner of a park as the last two hounds to the beer stop. From here it was a quick walk to the roof of Ice Princes where we circled and had to choose between shit beer and shitty beer. I finally left with Choke N Stroke and Gay Dancer and headed for the El as Lollapalooza was letting out. But the CTA actually had extra trains and we got seats across from some guy with a bloody nose and blood all over his shirt. WTF.

On Sat, Aug 4, 2018, the last trail of the week was a Big Dog Hash from Stab'em & Slab'em's house. We had 17 hounds following the trail she and Reverand Shut The Fuck Up set. And the 96 degree heat on a sunny day had people whithering right from the start. A quick lemonade stand helped refresh me and we ran off towards Jackson Park. I was now paralleling the pack having missed a turn, but there was suddenly The Foam Queen and I followed him to a quick Back Check and we headed into the park. We mostly stayed somewhat in sight of everyone except Lower Wackoff and Menage A Twat who fell behind and ended up walking. They actually got to the beer stop just as we were about to leave. I digress. Meanwhile the pack ranged between the golf course and towards the lake, but never quite there, and through a nice mix of Checks and Splits that mostly kept us together. Hell, even Horn-E got in front a few times. We eventually entered a natural area with some nice paths through prairie grasses and such and a short time later we were at the beer stop. And we really needed it. Back at the hares house we headed out to a yard party for some snacks and a circle. then we headed for food, sausages, potatoes, bread, shrimp, etc. damn good grub. I finally left when Lower Wackoff made a ride available. We had one Harriett who I haven't seen in many years show up. Bang Me Blow Me Get Me Off. Welcome back.


On Mon, July 16, 2018, The Cock Whisperer, Rusty Grundel and Soul Taco laid a trail from Damen Tavern for eight hounds. A nice twisting course. Unfortunately is was sabotaged 7 times along the trail. Yes, SEVEN. I'm not the only one who got burned. But it added up to about 2 extra miles of running and missing the beer stop for me.
Sweeping: This is when someone follows the course and marks various Splits, Checks, etc, after they have been resolved.
Why: Hashing is not a race but a group endeavor to resolve a course. After decisions are resolved, we mark these points so that various individuals in back of the pack can hopefully catch up with the pack and not have to resolve everything themselves, thereby falling further behind, or getting lost.
Who are these people in back. Often me and other slower hashers, and maybe visitors and virgins who are not familiar with our marks or the area, those that missed the start, or those that actually went the wrong way at a decision while trying to resolve the trail for the pack and on returning the pack is gone in another direction.
This trail had seven mis marked sweep marks. No excuse. We appreciate all correct marks as we try to catch up. But a bad mark is worse then no mark at all. If there is a decision point and you see someone running up ahead, they might be On, or ranging to someone they see is On. And if you mark something in that direction and you are not On the true trail for some time, or on the wrong side of the street from real true marks, you are marking the wrong direction for those that follow. Once you make a mark, you have taken control of the trail and until you bring the trail back to the actual trail, you are still in control. That means that you need to continue making marks every so often as if you were the hare, until you bring your trail back to the hares trail. Or correct false marks that in no way lead to the Hares Trail. It is sabotage to mark an arrow as true when it isn't.
1. Running south, east side of street. NE corner, split south and to SW corner. Marked to SW corner. Trail went S a short block to an unmarked Check. About a half mile extra running by the time I found that Check Point. Still  had to solve the Check.
mile
2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice.
3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile

4. A Check on Grand. Marked east. Long block east and back on the other side. Another quarter mile extra. Found trail right away to the north. 2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice.
3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile
2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice. 3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice. 3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile 5. Coming out of an alley, a Split marked north. Later found it a hundred feet to the east. Another quarter mile.
6. Triple Split, Beer Near, marked south. No marks. Another quarter mile. Trail went east.
7. Triple Split at an alley, marked east. No marks. North no marks. Trail went west and a quick BVN mark. Another half mile.
Beer stop was shortly later, no beer, no pack and back at the bar they were well into circle. And they wonder why I sometimes come in pissed. Sabotage, seven times. No excuses.

On Thu there was a Thirstday Hash, the virgin Chicago haring attempt by Eat My Pussy from Replay Lakeview. Wasn't there, hope they had a good time.

Then on Sat, Jul 21, 2018, we had a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from St. Paul Woods in Morton Grove. Beautiful day for hashing, with only a few light sprays of rain. Six hounds included three Bushman Virgins. Pasta In My Pants from Italy, transplant Double Click For Dick, and Ur Root My Canal, another transplant from up north. And she brought her own balls. And our FRB, R-Tard-E, Just Do Me Slowly our first Bush Babe, and Or G. Screw up of the day was Or G. Now all the Harriets can point at him and tell him how nasty he was. Yeah, he had to stand like a man, behind a tree. Untied his pants, where he had his keys tied, and when he finished he ran on. Suddenly he was returning. He lost his car keys. Ooops. The rest of the guys ran on to the beer stop while I followed the two Bush Babes as a sweep. We had one stretch early on where we got surrounded by water and everyone plunged on in several inches of water and even more of mud. But after that we had three stream crossing that were an easy jump across. Saw three deer on trail while laying it. Also five sightings of a Blue Heron flying over the river. I also ran into a tree, bent over and mooning the trail and it had two assholes. Really. And there was the tree with a handle on it in case it fell over. Really. Never saw anything like that in all my woods trails. Plenty of beer and a casual circle after, then we went to BringerInn for a last round or two. Good time. 
2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice.
3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile 4. A Check on Grand. Marked east. Long block east and back on the other side. Another quarter mile extra. Found trail right away to the north. 5. Coming out of an alley, a Split marked north. Later found it a hundred feet to the east. Another quarter mile. 6. Triple Split, Beer Near, marked south. No marks. Another quarter mile. Trail went east. 7. Triple Split at an alley, marked east. No marks. North no marks. Trail went west and a quick BVN mark. Another half mile. Beer stop was shortly later, no beer, no pack and back at the bar they were well into circle. And they wonder why I sometimes come in pissed. Sabotage, seven times. No excuses. On Thu there was a Thirstday Hash, the virgin Chicago haring attempt by Eat My Pussy from Replay Lakeview. Wasn't there, hope they had a good time. Then on Sat, we had a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from St. Paul Woods in Morton Grove. Beautiful day for hashing, with only a few light sprays of rain. Six hounds included three Bushman Virgins. Pasta In My Pants from Italy, transplant Double Click For Dick, and Ur Root My Canal, another transplant from up north. And she brought her own balls. And our FRB, R-Tard-E, Just Do Me Slowly our first Bush Babe, and Or G. Screw up of the day was Or G. Now all the Harriets can point at him and tell him how nasty he was. Yeah, he had to stand like a man, behind a tree. Untied his pants, where he had his keys tied, and when he finished he ran on. Suddenly he was returning. He lost his car keys. Ooops. The rest of the guys ran on to the beer stop while I followed the two Bush Babes as a sweep. We had one stretch early on where we got surrounded by water and everyone plunged on in several inches of water and even more of mud. But after that we had three stream crossing that were an easy jump across. Saw three deer on trail while laying it. Also five sightings of a Blue Heron flying over the river. I also ran into a tree, bent over and mooning the trail and it had two assholes. Really. And there was the tree with a handle on it in case it fell over. Really. Never saw anything like that in all my woods trails. Plenty of beer and a casual circle after, then we went to BringerInn for a last round or two. Good time. On On

On Thu there was a Thirstday Hash, the virgin Chicago haring attempt by Eat My Pussy from Replay Lakeview. Wasn't there, hope they had a good time. Then on Sat, we had a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from St. Paul Woods in Morton Grove. Beautiful day for hashing, with only a few light sprays of rain. Six hounds included three Bushman Virgins. Pasta In My Pants from Italy, transplant Double Click For Dick, and Ur Root My Canal, another transplant from up north. And she brought her own balls. And our FRB, R-Tard-E, Just Do Me Slowly our first Bush Babe, and Or G. Screw up of the day was Or G. Now all the Harriets can point at him and tell him how nasty he was. Yeah, he had to stand like a man, behind a tree. Untied his pants, where he had his keys tied, and when he finished he ran on. Suddenly he was returning. He lost his car keys. Ooops. The rest of the guys ran on to the beer stop while I followed the two Bush Babes as a sweep. We had one stretch early on where we got surrounded by water and everyone plunged on in several inches of water and even more of mud. But after that we had three stream crossing that were an easy jump across. Saw three deer on trail while laying it. Also five sightings of a Blue Heron flying over the river. I also ran into a tree, bent over and mooning the trail and it had two assholes. Really. And there was the tree with a handle on it in case it fell over. Really. Never saw anything like that in all my woods trails. Plenty of beer and a casual circle after, then we went to BringerInn for a last round or two. Good time.  2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice.
3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile 4. A Check on Grand. Marked east. Long block east and back on the other side. Another quarter mile extra. Found trail right away to the north. 5. Coming out of an alley, a Split marked north. Later found it a hundred feet to the east. Another quarter mile. 6. Triple Split, Beer Near, marked south. No marks. Another quarter mile. Trail went east. 7. Triple Split at an alley, marked east. No marks. North no marks. Trail went west and a quick BVN mark. Another half mile. Beer stop was shortly later, no beer, no pack and back at the bar they were well into circle. And they wonder why I sometimes come in pissed. Sabotage, seven times. No excuses. On Thu there was a Thirstday Hash, the virgin Chicago haring attempt by Eat My Pussy from Replay Lakeview. Wasn't there, hope they had a good time. Then on Sat, we had a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from St. Paul Woods in Morton Grove. Beautiful day for hashing, with only a few light sprays of rain. Six hounds included three Bushman Virgins. Pasta In My Pants from Italy, transplant Double Click For Dick, and Ur Root My Canal, another transplant from up north. And she brought her own balls. And our FRB, R-Tard-E, Just Do Me Slowly our first Bush Babe, and Or G. Screw up of the day was Or G. Now all the Harriets can point at him and tell him how nasty he was. Yeah, he had to stand like a man, behind a tree. Untied his pants, where he had his keys tied, and when he finished he ran on. Suddenly he was returning. He lost his car keys. Ooops. The rest of the guys ran on to the beer stop while I followed the two Bush Babes as a sweep. We had one stretch early on where we got surrounded by water and everyone plunged on in several inches of water and even more of mud. But after that we had three stream crossing that were an easy jump across. Saw three deer on trail while laying it. Also five sightings of a Blue Heron flying over the river. I also ran into a tree, bent over and mooning the trail and it had two assholes. Really. And there was the tree with a handle on it in case it fell over. Really. Never saw anything like that in all my woods trails. Plenty of beer and a casual circle after, then we went to BringerInn for a last round or two. Good time.
On Mon, The Cock Whisperer, Rusty Grundel and Soul Taco laid a trail from Damen Tavern for eight hounds. A nice twisting course. Unfortunately is was sabotaged 7 times along the trail. Yes, SEVEN. I'm not the only one who got burned. But it added up to about 2 extra miles of running and missing the beer stop for me. Sweeping: This is when someone follows the course and marks various Splits, Checks, etc, after they have been resolved. Why: Hashing is not a race but a group endeavor to resolve a course. After decisions are resolved, we mark these points so that various individuals in back of the pack can hopefully catch up with the pack and not have to resolve everything themselves, thereby falling further behind, or getting lost. Who are these people in back. Often me and other slower hashers, and maybe visitors and virgins who are not familiar with our marks or the area, those that missed the start, or those that actually went the wrong way at a decision while trying to resolve the trail for the pack and on returning the pack is gone in another direction. This trail had seven mis marked sweep marks. No excuse. We appreciate all correct marks as we try to catch up. But a bad mark is worse then no mark at all. If there is a decision point and you see someone running up ahead, they might be On, or ranging to someone they see is On. And if you mark something in that direction and you are not On the true trail for some time, or on the wrong side of the street from real true marks, you are marking the wrong direction for those that follow. Once you make a mark, you have taken control of the trail and until you bring the trail back to the actual trail, you are still in control. That means that you need to continue making marks every so often as if you were the hare, until you bring your trail back to the hares trail. Or correct false marks that in no way lead to the Hares Trail. It is sabotage to mark an arrow as true when it isn't. 1. Running south, east side of street. NE corner, split south and to SW corner. Marked to SW corner. Trail went S a short block to an unmarked Check. About a half mile extra running by the time I found that Check Point. Still  had to solve the Check. 2. Triple Split marked S. Ran over a long block with no marks extra quarter mile,An extra quarter mile,. Trail went east with first mark about a hundred feet away, what would have been my first choice. An extra quarter mile. hat would have been my first choice. , what would have been my first choice. 3. A split, marked north. Long block and back, nothing. East a hundred feet. Another quarter mile 4. A Check on Grand. Marked east. Long block east and back on the other side. Another quarter mile extra. Found trail right away to the north. 5. Coming out of an alley, a Split marked north. Later found it a hundred feet to the east. Another quarter mile. 6. Triple Split, Beer Near, marked south. No marks. Another quarter mile. Trail went east. 7. Triple Split at an alley, marked east. No marks. North no marks. Trail went west and a quick BVN mark. Another half mile. Beer stop was shortly later, no beer, no pack and back at the bar they were well into circle. And they wonder why I sometimes come in pissed. Sabotage, seven times. No excuses. On Thu there was a Thirstday Hash, the virgin Chicago haring attempt by Eat My Pussy from Replay Lakeview. Wasn't there, hope they had a good time. Then on Sat, we had a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from St. Paul Woods in Morton Grove. Beautiful day for hashing, with only a few light sprays of rain. Six hounds included three Bushman Virgins. Pasta In My Pants from Italy, transplant Double Click For Dick, and Ur Root My Canal, another transplant from up north. And she brought her own balls. And our FRB, R-Tard-E, Just Do Me Slowly our first Bush Babe, and Or G. Screw up of the day was Or G. Now all the Harriets can point at him and tell him how nasty he was. Yeah, he had to stand like a man, behind a tree. Untied his pants, where he had his keys tied, and when he finished he ran on. Suddenly he was returning. He lost his car keys. Ooops. The rest of the guys ran on to the beer stop while I followed the two Bush Babes as a sweep. We had one stretch early on where we got surrounded by water and everyone plunged on in several inches of water and even more of mud. But after that we had three stream crossing that were an easy jump across. Saw three deer on trail while laying it. Also five sightings of a Blue Heron flying over the river. I also ran into a tree, bent over and mooning the trail and it had two assholes. Really. And there was the tree with a handle on it in case it fell over. Really. Never saw anything like that in all my woods trails. Plenty of beer and a casual circle after, then we went to BringerInn for a last round or two. Good time.
Last week

On Mon Jul 9, 2018, at The Chicago Hash, Rusty Grundel and the Cock  Whisperer hared from Local Option for 23 hounds with visitors and virgins everywhere. Trail was a nice mix of back and forth without much in the way of outrageous short cuts and a lot of Checks and Splits that kept the pack together and really showed the visitors what hashing in a pack is really all about. And even Horn-E got a turn in front thanks to crossing Fullerton when he saw the pack cross Fullerton a block further west, and coming on marks heading east. Sometimes you get lucky. Good circle in the bar and the bar tender was an old friend from Ravens. Great.

Then on Thu, Jul 12, 2018, SnatchSquatch led his annual Running of the Bulls hash with a co hare, Flamming Flaggot for the TH3 Hash. We had 10 Spaniards and 5 Bulls for this chase from Redmonds. And for once, we Bulls actually got through three Checks before Gay Dancer and Dr. Cockvorkian gored Horn-E, The Dark Kunt and the visitor from Dallas, Double Dribble. Then, back at Redmonds, the bar was having Trivia night so we headed out for 3 30 packs and held circle under the El Track, about 150 feet west of Sheffield. And no cops, but the El did a number on singing and accusations, etc. After, about ten hashers headed to some BYOB pizza place for a few slices.

Fri, Jul 13, 2018, had Lower Wackoff setting the First Crack of the Moon Hash #250. We ran from Ham Tree Inn with 12 hounds. The hare was up to his usual Checks and although this was supposed to be only 2.5 miles long to celebrate the 250th hash, his checks were such that we had a long run before finding the beer. And we really had to look for that. Then we held a short circle in a shelter in the woods before heading back to the bar. On the way back, Lower Wackoff stopped for three large pizzas with six different types of toppings. And he bought them. Great. And we only had $2.50 Hash Cash to celebrate the 250th hash. But Son Of Spam kept the beer flowing and covered that. We also actually had 2 people who were at the first FCMH3, Horn-E the founder and Bloody Thighs.


Then we had to face the
Cums On All BasesCums On All BasesCums On All BasesSat, Jul 14, 2018, Cums On All Bases, Big Dog Hash from the Palatine Metra stop. We had a late start due to rain the night before that wiped out the pre laid trail, and the hare having to work earlier. We had a pack of 12 that spanned 75 years differences in age. A Visitor with his wife and two kids, our resident, transient, summer visitors from Hawaii, And six regular hashers. The trail was short on the hashing part of less then two miles where we regrouped at a Check we couldn't solve and then we headed out on two death marches of over a mile each and just straight until the final On In. We entered her house and I thought I was hashing in Antarctica. Damn she had that air conditioner on full blast. I grabbed a beer and headed back in the heat, and shade, to rest up and recover. We eventually held a BDH3 circle and then it was around back to a porch and brats and burgers. Good stuff. We were eventually given rides back to cars and Lower Wackoff and I actually got a ride back into Norwood and his car. All was good.

Sun Jul 15, 2018, there was a surprise hash. Sort of. Second City had a hash and SnatchSquatch forgot he signed up for it, so there wasn't much notice, like Thursday it was announced. But he snagged Panda as a co-hare and set out on a three mile trail. Then the pack arrived, Well, only three of us, Its Too Soft, Eat My Pussy, and Horn-E. But we headed out into the heat and probably did closer to four miles with the Checking and stuff. We all took turns leading the trail and finally Horn-E led to a Check at California and Montrose, after not having a beer stop in the park. So Horn-E went West to a False, and Eat My Pussy headed east and found trail. As Horn-E returned towards the Check, he ranged one block north hoping to come across trail. Then heading east one block and there was trail and the Beer Stop in this small triangle park, and the two hares, and ice cold water and beer. Finally Its Too Soft ranged off of the Check and straight north and after one block he arrived. Eventually Eat My Pussy finished off the trail correctly and came on in. Back at the finish, SnatchSquatch's garage, he announced that their would be no hash cash as he was just using up some beer laying around the house. Thanks. Then we held the lamest circle ever at a SCH3 hash, the home of the sitting circles. Then we hung around and actually talked politics, agreeing and disagreeing and never arguing, just stating experiences, ideas, attitudes, etc. All politics should be that peaceful. See what a hash and cold beer can accomplish.

I also want to thank those that laid these last three hashes. I actually spent more on transportation, and I get senior citizen rates, then I did on Hash Cash. For that there were three very hot hashes, two hot meals and a lot of cold beer.  For me, it was one hell of a good weekend. Special thanks, Lower Wackoff, Son Of Spam, Cums On All Base and SnatchSquatch.

On Mon, Jun 15, 2018, The Chicago Hash had a
Putt Putt In My Butt and Just Jen trail from Parrots for 17 hounds. It started out with a straight trail south, but soon got into some twisting turns that led over to Lincoln Park (good) and the lake front (good) before more twists and turns until the pack arrived at a beer stop in a little park a block from the bar. Then someone chased the pack out and they went back to the bar. 

Then on Tue, Jun 26, 2018The Chicago Full Moon Hash was led by Lifa. We had 8 hounds including the late coming Lower Wackoff and Son Of Spam and the lost soul, Horn-E. Horn-E got behind at the first Check as he wandered off down an alley. But he ran on and fell behind further and further and finally came out of passing under some tracks to rain, and no mark. The pack was long gone and a real heavy rain was expected. So Horn-E ranged in the direction he thought the hare would go. Never try to out guess the hare. He went east and the trail went west. eventually Horn-E had to head to the possible beer stop and found the hare and a spare umbrella. About ten minutes later the soggy pack of throughly soaked hounds came on in and we held a brief outdoor circle under some trees and the rain slowed down to a drizzle.

On the third day, Jun 27, 2018, there was The Whiskey Wednesday Hash, Hooch B4 Cooch laid trail from The Empty Bottle for six hounds. We ran on and on and slowly split into three packs of two each. I was with Waiting For Two Black Guys and we fell behind early. He couldn't run much and I can't run for shit. We finally hit a Split and I managed to spot Its Too Soft about two blocks away and running into a park. We followed and finally caught him in the park. At this point we thought everyone was way up front. But along came Berts Special Friend to join us and he and Its Too Soft mainly stayed together and on and off ran ahead. Meanwhile we tried to keep up. Then after the park and a big loop, we were suddenly passed by Son Of Spam and Dick Hermonica. Suddenly we were all together and then Split right away again into the three packs. We had one more Check and two just headed back, two of us were off trail and found marks and finally deduced that they were from a Check and also gave up not finding a third mark. Eventually Its Too Soft and Berts Special Friend came in last, but the only two hounds to do it all.

Finally we have the fourth day Jun 28, 2018, of hashing in a row with a Thirstday Hash, A to B out of Beaumonts. Soul Taco and Silent But Deadly hared for a pack of 19. The trail headed west and I fell behind, eventually following two visitors after a SN Check and they headed down an alley with only two marks, finally returning. Then we saw some people ahead in the other end of that alley and assumed that was On. It wasn't. Finally we got on track and got to the shot stop. Shortly after we back tracked and went to another SS that was about a half mile away, in Dr. Cockvorkian's gangway. I ran on and worked my way to Armitage and a Check. Heading the wrong way, most of the pack found there way to a beer Stop at Pearl Vision's. Meanwhile I was ranging around Oz Park and Hooch B4 Cooch ran by and into the park yelling something about being on a mark. I never saw it and he just headed towards the NE corner without any marks. I later found there was a Check there. Meanwhile I worked the park and then found a few hashers coming out of an alley yelling On to the east. There was a bad mark there, but the hare was waving us to the south and that beer stop. That was it for me. To many stops and my recovery is slow. As we took off again, I walked and some ran and some walked. I fell behind and followed the trail north on Lincoln. One block north the trail crossed the street and there was a Split pointing north and east. I assumed the park for the finish or next beer stop. Wrong. By the time I returned, I added to damn much to the trail and finally found the true trail to the north east. After this it was simple and kept going towards Its To Soft's roof with few diversions. Would have been nice if I knew that was the destination as some knew. By the time I got there, they were well into circle and I just grabbed a beer and sat on the far end of the roof for some recovery and relaxation time before finally joining the circle. Looked like a good circle with visitors and virgins. After there were Brats and hot dogs.

On Thu, 21 Jun 2018, Menstrual Casserole laid her anniversary hash from Miska's. We had a low turnout of only 9 hounds for a beautiful night of hashing with cool temperatures. While the trail was a nice course, the marks were hard to follow due to being to far spaced, especially at Checks. From the back of the pack, where I was as usual, along with Famming Flaggot. We lost the pack completely between the first and second Check, due to a bunch catching a short cut that we missed. Then the Second Check was marked wrong and almost invisible. But we ran, walked on. Then we had a check at Irving Park were the trail was again marked absolutely wrong. A bad mark can and often is, worse then no marks at all. Then add in two blocks to the first true trail mark and we just couldn't catch up. At this Check we got split up and individually ranged until regrouping at another Check at Addison and Western. Unmarked. I ran in two separate directions before returning and with Famming Flaggot we headed west and finally found a mark. Then a Split. Then nothing else. Sorry, but we couldn't find the mark and that was the last Check before B. We missed it. So, not finding any third mark, we headed back to the bar. About 1:45 minutes. And of course everyone was there waiting for us. Circle was much smaller then we usually have at Miska's, but a good time.

Thu Jun 14, 2018,  was the start of the 40th Anniversary of Hashing in Chicago with Horn-E laying a trail from the Double Bubble. A pack of about 20 took off towards Loyola and then worked its way past the hares house for a beer stop. But it wasn't there. Somehow about half the pack found the beer stop by not following trail and guessing where it might be and entered this little park from the north. The rest followed the trail and finally found the park from the south. From here we returned to the bar where Gay Dancer led a nice circle in the beer Garden. 

On Fri Jun 15, 2018, we had,The First Crack of the Moon Hash set by
Son Of Spam from The Wise Owl. A nice pack of about fifteen hounds followed trail to a small park where we held circle. I left shortly after while the pack headed back to the bar and I heard they drank late into the night.

On Sat Jun 16, 2018, we started with a short Bushman Hash. Seventeen hounds on trail. Wow. It was from Dam #4 Woods and a prelube to the main Celebration Hash. When I arrived I found that it rained real hard overnight and the picnic area had spots with about 3 inches of water. Right in the direction of the planned trail. Well, if we are going to get wet, it might as well be right at the start. Trail headed through some woods and finally across Devon for the serious woods. A boring trail along the river, or winding in the woods. Winding in the woods was planned and there were patches of water that we couldn't get around. Eventually the trail veered away from the river into some serious brush. I knew there was a prairie, but getting to it was a problem. Finally we emerged at a path of sorts. Three parallel paths like they were made by a three wheel car. And all full of water, three to five inches and slippery. Trail finally got through the prairie and into some nice woods and finally to a muddy tunnel under Devon. From there is was a bike path to B. Beer was on a peninsula into a swamp, but one crazy wanker just plunged mid thigh deep in the swamp to retrieve the beer. I got a quick Down Down and left them to a Bushman circle so I could lay the next part of the trail.



Sat, Jun 16, 2018, I had a last minute Co Hare, Snotcho Mama, and he helped save the day. We took off for some quick woods and then headed for the river. When scouted on Wed, it was muddy, but looked like it would dry by Sat. But those damn rains in our wettest June in history. It was now deep in river overflow and full of floating ground clutter and such. Since the trail would just parallel a higher level path, we went for the path. Most of the pack would have done that anyway. And we sort of followed this path on and off until we hit Touhy. And it was slippery and with occasional water areas. After crossing the river we had a T and E trail.
Snotcho Mama went straight on Touhy to a large picnic area and gave the Turkeys a twisting course through the area to the First Beer Stop.
Meanwhile I headed into the Eagle trail, mostly paralleling the river through fairly open forest. When planning the trail I headed inland and eventually saw a swamp I missed. This time, with high waters, I headed inland sooner and found a nice forest to run through and there was that beautiful swamp. Reeds that were 12 to 15 feet high. I couldn't resist. I headed straight into the reeds. While the live growth was high and formidable looking, when I got into it I found that the previous years dead growth was criss crossed in fromt of me making forward progress almost impossible. Just forcing myself through for about 30 yards. It had to be well over fifteen minutes to get through this mess including climbing over fallen trees and three inches of water. From here it was a short bit of woods to the beer stop.
After the beer stop we headed to the south and another T and E split, Turkey was set by me, just straight south along River Road. The woods to the left were impassible and would not have been fun if we could have gotten in and out of them.
Meanwhile Snotcho Mama crossed the street into a zone of hotels and offices and made the trail up as he went along, including one wall climbing. We had to do the best we could with a bad situation.
Then we hit beer stop number 2, on Devon and just south of the finish. Turkey could have a beer and walk back.
Eagles had one more section and we were off laying this section through woods that were fairly open when we suddenly heard the Eagles yelling On On. We were about to get caught. Snotcho Mama yelled, I'll set a long Back Check and took off to the east and after laying the Back Check, he circled back to me. Meanwhile I set off into another prairie, laying TP as I ran through almost invisible and over grown paths where I attempted a few Splits and forks in the paths. We finally rejoined to the west of the prairie and headed back to the On In part of the trail, along that same bike path the Bushman finished on. And soon Hooch Br Cooch came running on by.
As we finished, Hashers were hitting the local fresh water pump to clean up a bit. Feather got the grill going with chicken, burgers, hot dogs and other goodies. After grub, Horn-E set out three blocks of ice for the circle. USS Cum On My Face led the circle and we pretty much all got on ice multiple times on a long and fun circle. After circle it was pretty much clean up and go home. And we did. Great time.


Sun was to be a hangover hash set by Rag Time Hash and The Cock Whisperer and Rusty Grundel. I was to hung over, well, not really. Just whipped and needing a day off. Hope it all went well.

Mon Nun 18, 2018, was the Chicago Hash set by Hooch B4 Cooch and Dr Cockvorkian and the 40th Anniversary of the Chicago Hash. More damn rain. 22 hounds got about 1.5 miles into the course when they hit, hard and whiped out all sense of trailI was with a pack of six and someone got on Facebook and found the Beer Stop was three blocks away at the back yard of Menstrual Casserole. From there, Hooch B4 Cooch laid another quick trail to the parking area behind Its Too Soft's condo. Finfishing a keg from Sat. Then we went back to Durkins for a fun circle where the virgins were quite prominent in getting nailed for many down Downs. Welcome mon Just Candy and daughter, Just Stacy.

Jun 18, 2018, The actual 40th Anniversay of Hashing in Chicago. Horn-E laid a trail from Big Joe's. We had 8 hounds for a promised short laid back trail and it was. Second Cuming came in first in about 298 minutes. Its Too Soft led the rest about five minutes later with Just Bob pulling up the rear. A quick beer stop and back to the bar for a laid back, sitting circle that we did Full moon style and we just kept going on and on through about 8 pitchers. And we named Just Bob, Magnetic Muffs loooong time friend, StuffinMuffin.


Thu was the start of the 40th Anniversary of Hashing in Chicago with Horn-E laying a trail from the Double Bubble. A pack of about 20 took off towards Loyola and then worked its way past the hares house for a beer stop. But it wasn't there. Somehow about half the pack found the beer stop by not following trail and guessing where it might be and entered this little park from the north. The rest followed the trail and finally found the park from the south. From here we returned to the bar where Gay Dancer led a nice circle in the beer Garden.  On Fri we had,The First Crack of the Moon Hash set by Son Of Spam from The Wise Owl. A nice pack of about fifteen hounds followed trail to a small park where we held circle. I left shortly after while the pack headed back to the bar and I heard they drank late into the night. On Sat we started with a short Bushman Hash. Seventeen hounds on trail. Wow. It was from Dam #4 Woods and a prelube to the main Celebration Hash. When I arrived I found that it rained real hard overnight and the picnic area had spots with about 3 inches of water. Right in the direction of the planned trail. Well, if we are going to get wet, it might as well be right at the start. Trail headed through some woods and finally across Devon for the serious woods. A boring trail along the river, or winding in the woods. Winding in the woods was planned and there were patches of water that we couldn't get around. Eventually the trail veered away from the river into some serious brush. I knew there was a prairie, but getting to it was a problem. Finally we emerged at a path of sorts. Three parallel paths like they were made by a three wheel car. And all full of water, three to five inches and slippery. Trail finally got through the prairie and into some nice woods and finally to a muddy tunnel under Devon. From there is was a bike path to B. Beer was on a peninsula into a swamp, but one crazy wanker just plunged mid thigh deep in the swamp to retrieve the beer. I got a quick Down Down and left them to a Bushman circle so I could lay the next part of the trail. I had a last minute Co Hare, Snotcho Mama, and he helped save the day. We took off for some quick woods and then headed for the river. When scouted on Wed, it was muddy, but looked like it would dry by Sat. But those damn rains in our wettest June in history. It was now deep in river overflow and full of floating ground clutter and such. Since the trail would just parallel a higher level path, we went for the path. Most of the pack would have done that anyway. And we sort of followed this path on and off until we hit Touhy. And it was slippery and with occasional water areas. After crossing the river we had a T and E trail. Snotcho Mama went straight on Touhy to a large picnic area and gave the Turkeys a twisting course through the area to the First Beer Stop. Meanwhile I headed into the Eagle trail, mostly paralleling the river through fairly open forest. When planning the trail I headed inland and eventually saw a swamp I missed. This time, with high waters, I headed inland sooner and found a nice forest to run through and there was that beautiful swamp. Reeds that were 12 to 15 feet high. I couldn't resist. I headed straight into the reeds. While the live growth was high and formidable looking, when I got into it I found that the previous years dead growth was criss crossed in fromt of me making forward progress almost impossible. Just forcing myself through for about 30 yards. It had to be well over fifteen minutes to get through this mess including climbing over fallen trees and three inches of water. From here it was a short bit of woods to the beer stop. After the beer stop we headed to the south and another T and E split, Turkey was set by me, just straight south along River Road. The woods to the left were impassible and would not have been fun if we could have gotten in and out of them. Meanwhile Snotcho Mama crossed the street into a zone of hotels and offices and made the trail up as he went along, including one wall climbing. We had to do the best we could with a bad situation. Then we hit beer stop number 2, on Devon and just south of the finish. Turkey could have a beer and walk back. Eagles had one more section and we were off laying this section through woods that were fairly open when we suddenly heard the Eagles yelling On On. We were about to get caught. Snotcho Mama yelled, I'll set a long Back Check and took off to the east and after laying the Back Check, he circled back to me. Meanwhile I set off into another prairie, laying TP as I ran through almost invisible and over grown paths where I attempted a few Splits and forks in the paths. We finally rejoined to the west of the prairie and headed back to the On In part of the trail, along that same bike path the Bushman finished on. And soon Hooch Br Cooch came running on by. As we finished, Hashers were hitting the local fresh water pump to clean up a bit. Feather got the grill going with chicken, burgers, hot dogs and other goodies. After grub, Horn-E set out three blocks of ice for the circle. USS Cum On My Face led the circle and we pretty much all got on ice multiple times on a long and fun circle. After circle it was pretty much clean up and go home. And we did. Great time. Sun was to be a hangover hash set by Rag Time Hash and The Cock Whisperer and Rusty Grundel. I was to hung over, well, not really. Just whipped and needing a day off. Hope it all went well. Mon was the Chicago Hash set by Hooch B4 Cooch and Dr Cockvorkian and the 40th Anniversary of the Chicago Hash. More damn rain. 22 hounds got about 1.5 miles into the course when they hit, hard and whiped out all sense of trailI was with a pack of six and someone got on Facebook and found the Beer Stop was three blocks away at the back yard of Menstrual Casserole. From there, Hooch B4 Cooch laid another quick trail to the parking area behind Its Too Soft's condo. Finfishing a keg from Sat. Then we went back to Durkins for a fun circle where the virgins were quite prominent in getting nailed for many down Downs. Welcome mon Just Candy and daughter, Just Stacy. The actual 40th Anniversay of Hashing in Chicago. Horn-E laid a trail from Big Joe's. We had 8 hounds for a promised short laid back trail and it was. Second Cuming came in first in about 298 minutes. Its Too Soft led the rest about five minutes later with Just Bob pulling up the rear. A quick beer stop and back to the bar for a laid back, sitting circle that we did Full moon style and we just kept going on and on through about 8 pitchers. And we named Just Bob, Magnetic Muffs loooong time friend, StuffinMuffin. On On Horn-E
Thu was the start of the 40th Anniversary of Hashing in Chicago with Horn-E laying a trail from the Double Bubble. A pack of about 20 took off towards Loyola and then worked its way past the hares house for a beer stop. But it wasn't there. Somehow about half the pack found the beer stop by not following trail and guessing where it might be and entered this little park from the north. The rest followed the trail and finally found the park from the south. From here we returned to the bar where Gay Dancer led a nice circle in the beer Garden.  On Fri we had,The First Crack of the Moon Hash set by Son Of Spam from The Wise Owl. A nice pack of about fifteen hounds followed trail to a small park where we held circle. I left shortly after while the pack headed back to the bar and I heard they drank late into the night. On Sat we started with a short Bushman Hash. Seventeen hounds on trail. Wow. It was from Dam #4 Woods and a prelube to the main Celebration Hash. When I arrived I found that it rained real hard overnight and the picnic area had spots with about 3 inches of water. Right in the direction of the planned trail. Well, if we are going to get wet, it might as well be right at the start. Trail headed through some woods and finally across Devon for the serious woods. A boring trail along the river, or winding in the woods. Winding in the woods was planned and there were patches of water that we couldn't get around. Eventually the trail veered away from the river into some serious brush. I knew there was a prairie, but getting to it was a problem. Finally we emerged at a path of sorts. Three parallel paths like they were made by a three wheel car. And all full of water, three to five inches and slippery. Trail finally got through the prairie and into some nice woods and finally to a muddy tunnel under Devon. From there is was a bike path to B. Beer was on a peninsula into a swamp, but one crazy wanker just plunged mid thigh deep in the swamp to retrieve the beer. I got a quick Down Down and left them to a Bushman circle so I could lay the next part of the trail. I had a last minute Co Hare, Snotcho Mama, and he helped save the day. We took off for some quick woods and then headed for the river. When scouted on Wed, it was muddy, but looked like it would dry by Sat. But those damn rains in our wettest June in history. It was now deep in river overflow and full of floating ground clutter and such. Since the trail would just parallel a higher level path, we went for the path. Most of the pack would have done that anyway. And we sort of followed this path on and off until we hit Touhy. And it was slippery and with occasional water areas. After crossing the river we had a T and E trail. Snotcho Mama went straight on Touhy to a large picnic area and gave the Turkeys a twisting course through the area to the First Beer Stop. Meanwhile I headed into the Eagle trail, mostly paralleling the river through fairly open forest. When planning the trail I headed inland and eventually saw a swamp I missed. This time, with high waters, I headed inland sooner and found a nice forest to run through and there was that beautiful swamp. Reeds that were 12 to 15 feet high. I couldn't resist. I headed straight into the reeds. While the live growth was high and formidable looking, when I got into it I found that the previous years dead growth was criss crossed in fromt of me making forward progress almost impossible. Just forcing myself through for about 30 yards. It had to be well over fifteen minutes to get through this mess including climbing over fallen trees and three inches of water. From here it was a short bit of woods to the beer stop. After the beer stop we headed to the south and another T and E split, Turkey was set by me, just straight south along River Road. The woods to the left were impassible and would not have been fun if we could have gotten in and out of them. Meanwhile Snotcho Mama crossed the street into a zone of hotels and offices and made the trail up as he went along, including one wall climbing. We had to do the best we could with a bad situation. Then we hit beer stop number 2, on Devon and just south of the finish. Turkey could have a beer and walk back. Eagles had one more section and we were off laying this section through woods that were fairly open when we suddenly heard the Eagles yelling On On. We were about to get caught. Snotcho Mama yelled, I'll set a long Back Check and took off to the east and after laying the Back Check, he circled back to me. Meanwhile I set off into another prairie, laying TP as I ran through almost invisible and over grown paths where I attempted a few Splits and forks in the paths. We finally rejoined to the west of the prairie and headed back to the On In part of the trail, along that same bike path the Bushman finished on. And soon Hooch Br Cooch came running on by. As we finished, Hashers were hitting the local fresh water pump to clean up a bit. Feather got the grill going with chicken, burgers, hot dogs and other goodies. After grub, Horn-E set out three blocks of ice for the circle. USS Cum On My Face led the circle and we pretty much all got on ice multiple times on a long and fun circle. After circle it was pretty much clean up and go home. And we did. Great time. Sun was to be a hangover hash set by Rag Time Hash and The Cock Whisperer and Rusty Grundel. I was to hung over, well, not really. Just whipped and needing a day off. Hope it all went well. Mon was the Chicago Hash set by Hooch B4 Cooch and Dr Cockvorkian and the 40th Anniversary of the Chicago Hash. More damn rain. 22 hounds got about 1.5 miles into the course when they hit, hard and whiped out all sense of trailI was with a pack of six and someone got on Facebook and found the Beer Stop was three blocks away at the back yard of Menstrual Casserole. From there, Hooch B4 Cooch laid another quick trail to the parking area behind Its Too Soft's condo. Finfishing a keg from Sat. Then we went back to Durkins for a fun circle where the virgins were quite prominent in getting nailed for many down Downs. Welcome mon Just Candy and daughter, Just Stacy. The actual 40th Anniversay of Hashing in Chicago. Horn-E laid a trail from Big Joe's. We had 8 hounds for a promised short laid back trail and it was. Second Cuming came in first in about 298 minutes. Its Too Soft led the rest about five minutes later with Just Bob pulling up the rear. A quick beer stop and back to the bar for a laid back, sitting circle that we did Full moon style and we just kept going on and on through about 8 pitchers. And we named Just Bob, Magnetic Muffs loooong time friend, StuffinMuffin. On On Horn-E
Thu was the start of the 40th Anniversary of Hashing in Chicago with Horn-E laying a trail from the Double Bubble. A pack of about 20 took off towards Loyola and then worked its way past the hares house for a beer stop. But it wasn't there. Somehow about half the pack found the beer stop by not following trail and guessing where it might be and entered this little park from the north. The rest followed the trail and finally found the park from the south. From here we returned to the bar where Gay Dancer led a nice circle in the beer Garden.  On Fri we had,The First Crack of the Moon Hash set by Son Of Spam from The Wise Owl. A nice pack of about fifteen hounds followed trail to a small park where we held circle. I left shortly after while the pack headed back to the bar and I heard they drank late into the night. On Sat we started with a short Bushman Hash. Seventeen hounds on trail. Wow. It was from Dam #4 Woods and a prelube to the main Celebration Hash. When I arrived I found that it rained real hard overnight and the picnic area had spots with about 3 inches of water. Right in the direction of the planned trail. Well, if we are going to get wet, it might as well be right at the start. Trail headed through some woods and finally across Devon for the serious woods. A boring trail along the river, or winding in the woods. Winding in the woods was planned and there were patches of water that we couldn't get around. Eventually the trail veered away from the river into some serious brush. I knew there was a prairie, but getting to it was a problem. Finally we emerged at a path of sorts. Three parallel paths like they were made by a three wheel car. And all full of water, three to five inches and slippery. Trail finally got through the prairie and into some nice woods and finally to a muddy tunnel under Devon. From there is was a bike path to B. Beer was on a peninsula into a swamp, but one crazy wanker just plunged mid thigh deep in the swamp to retrieve the beer. I got a quick Down Down and left them to a Bushman circle so I could lay the next part of the trail. I had a last minute Co Hare, Snotcho Mama, and he helped save the day. We took off for some quick woods and then headed for the river. When scouted on Wed, it was muddy, but looked like it would dry by Sat. But those damn rains in our wettest June in history. It was now deep in river overflow and full of floating ground clutter and such. Since the trail would just parallel a higher level path, we went for the path. Most of the pack would have done that anyway. And we sort of followed this path on and off until we hit Touhy. And it was slippery and with occasional water areas. After crossing the river we had a T and E trail. Snotcho Mama went straight on Touhy to a large picnic area and gave the Turkeys a twisting course through the area to the First Beer Stop. Meanwhile I headed into the Eagle trail, mostly paralleling the river through fairly open forest. When planning the trail I headed inland and eventually saw a swamp I missed. This time, with high waters, I headed inland sooner and found a nice forest to run through and there was that beautiful swamp. Reeds that were 12 to 15 feet high. I couldn't resist. I headed straight into the reeds. While the live growth was high and formidable looking, when I got into it I found that the previous years dead growth was criss crossed in fromt of me making forward progress almost impossible. Just forcing myself through for about 30 yards. It had to be well over fifteen minutes to get through this mess including climbing over fallen trees and three inches of water. From here it was a short bit of woods to the beer stop. After the beer stop we headed to the south and another T and E split, Turkey was set by me, just straight south along River Road. The woods to the left were impassible and would not have been fun if we could have gotten in and out of them. Meanwhile Snotcho Mama crossed the street into a zone of hotels and offices and made the trail up as he went along, including one wall climbing. We had to do the best we could with a bad situation. Then we hit beer stop number 2, on Devon and just south of the finish. Turkey could have a beer and walk back. Eagles had one more section and we were off laying this section through woods that were fairly open when we suddenly heard the Eagles yelling On On. We were about to get caught. Snotcho Mama yelled, I'll set a long Back Check and took off to the east and after laying the Back Check, he circled back to me. Meanwhile I set off into another prairie, laying TP as I ran through almost invisible and over grown paths where I attempted a few Splits and forks in the paths. We finally rejoined to the west of the prairie and headed back to the On In part of the trail, along that same bike path the Bushman finished on. And soon Hooch Br Cooch came running on by. As we finished, Hashers were hitting the local fresh water pump to clean up a bit. Feather got the grill going with chicken, burgers, hot dogs and other goodies. After grub, Horn-E set out three blocks of ice for the circle. USS Cum On My Face led the circle and we pretty much all got on ice multiple times on a long and fun circle. After circle it was pretty much clean up and go home. And we did. Great time. Sun was to be a hangover hash set by Rag Time Hash and The Cock Whisperer and Rusty Grundel. I was to hung over, well, not really. Just whipped and needing a day off. Hope it all went well. Mon was the Chicago Hash set by Hooch B4 Cooch and Dr Cockvorkian and the 40th Anniversary of the Chicago Hash. More damn rain. 22 hounds got about 1.5 miles into the course when they hit, hard and whiped out all sense of trailI was with a pack of six and someone got on Facebook and found the Beer Stop was three blocks away at the back yard of Menstrual Casserole. From there, Hooch B4 Cooch laid another quick trail to the parking area behind Its Too Soft's condo. Finfishing a keg from Sat. Then we went back to Durkins for a fun circle where the virgins were quite prominent in getting nailed for many down Downs. Welcome mon Just Candy and daughter, Just Stacy. The actual 40th Anniversay of Hashing in Chicago. Horn-E laid a trail from Big Joe's. We had 8 hounds for a promised short laid back trail and it was. Second Cuming came in first in about 298 minutes. Its Too Soft led the rest about five minutes later with Just Bob pulling up the rear. A quick beer stop and back to the bar for a laid back, sitting circle that we did Full moon style and we just kept going on and on through about 8 pitchers. And we named Just Bob, Magnetic Muffs loooong time friend, StuffinMuffin. On On Horn-E Last Week: Last Week:

On Tue May 8, 2018,we had a pick up hash set by Lifa and Just Michael. We had eight hounds. Not bad for an impromptu hash, The hares ran us past about every beer stop we use in the area before holding in in a parking lot across the street from Double Bubble. We had one visitor, Screams Do Cum Thru from the Skull N Boner Hash in Conneticunt. She managed to keep Horn-E running most of the way, but they still almost came in last. 


Then on Thu, May 10, 2018,  the Thirstday Hash was set by Lifa. Yes, again. this time from Rose's and another different beer stop as he ran us on a twisting trail and lost Horn-E. Yes, again. But we had a nice circle in the bar and the bar tender loves us. We also had 18 hounds on trail.

Then on Sat May 12, 2018, we had a Big Dog Hash thirteenth Analversary hash where it all started, Caldwell Woods. This time the hare was, yes again, Lifa. Is he trying to dominate Chicago Hashing. This time we had a surprising 8 hounds on trail. It started out like Noah was planning the trail. As I approached the area, the rain started. And it poured, wiping out the trail. But there was a field house and we all gathered there. Finally Lifa took off to relay the trail. Out in the woods we headed, only to get a quick Back Check. This led to some serious shiggy along the river and a Check near Milwaukee. The road, not the city. Horn-E guessed right and went left and somehow found trail and led the pack through three more Checks before the King Of Bedbugs took over and led us through some streets and alleys and doing all of the wrong ways on Splits until we came back to the woods. And there was Lifa, waiting with beer, right by the first Back Check. After the Beer Stop we headed for a pavilion where we froze through a short circle and some good brats, polish and burgers before finally giving up and leaving. Good time.

Okay, the next hash was on Mon. May 14, 2018, The Chicago Hash. I was told it would be USS Cum On My Face as the hare of
our first CH3 Monday night trail from Redmonds.our first CH3 Monday night trail from Redmonds. our first Monday night hash of the year. Not. He never showed. Somehow we got three taking credit for haring. What did Menstrual Casserole do? Silent But Deadly meanwhile laid trail twice and when I arrived, it was a total washout. That's two hares that weren't leaving the bar. But Gay Dancer, our exulted Grand Master grabbed some chalk and went out to relay a total washed out trail. He had us wandering all over the place as we manged to run On and On for 55 minutes. And the winner was, Horn-E. Well, actually, the three of us, including Its Too Soft and Eat My Pussy, managed to mostly stay together, while taking turns leading the pack. And we arrived at the last Triple split almost together. Horn-E got to pick second and was on and so he came in first. BFD. And Its Too Soft actually left the Checks and Splits and found some on his own. But we managed a fun circle and we named the manager of Redmonds, COM, as in Cum On Monday. He plans to join us. On Monday. Now, where were the rest of the Chicago Hashers? We are on Monday nights now. When I joined hashing in prehistory, we used to get about 50 hounds for the first Monday night trail. Three? The rain stopped and the weather was great. Lets get out there.


On Tue, 1 May 2018, we had an A to B Chicago Full Moon Hash out of Harringtons, set by Delta Ten Freakuency and Stiffy 4 Stiffies. He said she planned most of it with a map and everything, and he only tweaked it a little. For a relatively new hare, well'''''', not toooo baaaad. Really, she twisted us around the area quite well. But the trail get strung out with a front pack and a back pack. Yep, I was in that pack. We eventually lost Menage A Twat. Getting to long. Then we struggled in an alley before Horn-E found trail through a gangway. Then we hit a Check at Clark and Belmont, with an arrow with a question mark on it. I ran a long, long way before finding out there were only two arrows. Coming back, we started over and Meat Inside Her checked to the west, then east, finding nothing. She didn't go far enough to the west. So, I started the tactic of ever widening circles, looking for a mark. Eventually I found the trail while the others knew where the finish was and headed straight to Its Too Soft's roof deck. Meanwhile I ran on, west, south, west, north, and finally a BN. Then two marks later was a Back Check. auugghh!!!. Now why didn't someone in the front pack mark that point I had to run back to. Damn. South and east and past an unmarked Check and finally to the roof deck. Circle was going on. I grabbed a beer and headed off to a corner to rest a bit and rehydrate (yes especially that).

Thu May 3, 2018, was the Thirstday Hash set by Cumma Slutra and 69 Cent Man, the annual Polish Constitution Day Hash from Bialystok. What is the point of this hash? To prove that the Polish can pass off ten year old beer, kept in a garage for ten years through heat wave and freezing, and still pass it off to tired thirsty old hashers as long as it is on ice? I digress. The pack was off on time. I wasn't there on time. But I ran on after them and most of the Splits and Checks were marked. I finally caught four walkers and passed them. Then around the block I had to pass them again, and then again and yet one more time before getting to the usual beer stop on a front porch. After one of the cold current PBRs, we headed back to the bar where our Grand Mattress led us in circle and did a good job. Well, sort of. We helped with a lot od songs and she finished off with the days of the week. The virgins seemed to enjoy the circle and hopefully wll return. All was good and the beer was cold.

Sun 6 May 2018, was the anal Cinco De Mayonaise Hash, again not on the fifth of May. It was set by TampOn TampOff from Simone's and was supposed to be A to B. Was food served. Hot Tampons? Was Rosie there?

On Wed, Apr 25, 2018, we had the The Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Puzzled In The Sack from the Bar On Buena. There were 15 hounds on trail and the trail headed a bit south east to the edge of Lincoln Park before heading north and eventually in to the park for a Whiskey Stop. The trail then weaved a bit as it headed north before back into the dreaded city streets. We worked our way south and towards the hares house. Whiskey Stop!!!. Not. The hare sucked us all in and the lights were out. Well done. The trail went on to the park and then back west along Montrose to the El Tracks and south to Buena for a beer stop. Beer Stop? This is Whiskey Wednesday. Whiskey stops and a short circle. The hell with what Horn-E drinks. But the beer was cold, even of only Coors Light. After a short circle we went back to the Bar On Buena where our favorite bartender in all of Chicago was working. Smells Like Twat Sweat. And good service too.

Then we had a Thu, Apr 26, 2018, Thirstday Hash the next day. It was Just Michaels virgin lay and he had Horn-E showing him the ropes. Actually it was a great hash. Would I lie. Well, probably. But I won't talk about how great I thought it was. Here are the bitches I heard. To much running alleys along Lincoln Ave. Too obvious. Got hung up near Trader Joes. Hey, the check only had two Falses. And to damn much straight north on Ravenswood. Even with the two zig zags we added. But finally the hash got to the finish at a park at Montrose and Lincoln as Second Coming led almost the whole pack in at the same time. Well, Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Mommys Little Accident did come in about 3 or 4 minutes later. Any time I can nail a few FRBs and they come in DFL, I'll take it. Good sign of a good hash. Maybe. Back at the bar we had a good circle and as the only people in the bar, we could sing anything we wanted.


On Sun, Apr 29, 2018, was The Chicago Hash set by Gay Dancer and Silent But Deadly from the Chicago Historical Museum at the southern tip of Lincoln Park. The pack had just left to I dropped off my shag bag and was off to the races. But the trail didn't head into the park on a beautiful cloudless day. No, south through an alley and pavement pounding the whole way. Splits and Checks were swept. Good. Sweep marks had two glaring errors along the way. Bad.  Hooch B4 Cooch, another late comer, caught me along Division and we got to a Check at La Salle on the south east corner. It had a sweep mark pointing straight south. Two blocks later and we had no marks. Coming back on the WEST side of the street and we found marks at Division and La Salle on the WEST side of the street. That might have helped to point the sweep marks across the street to another path. But we ran on. About two blocks later there was a Split. West and south. South was marked. Two blocks later there were no marks. Returning on the WEST side of the street, there was a arrow found pointing south west into a park. That is six extra blocks. But I ran on and it was just some simple trail that eventually led to a long straight on Larrabee. A block to the west and north on another long block. Would we have a beer stop in Oz Park. Not hardly. At Armitage we had a right turn and five straight blocks towards Lincoln Park. Finally a Check at Lincoln and we headed north and east to the entrance to the Zoo. Straight through and then two blocks north to a Triple Split at Fullerton. Marked left, the trail headed west to Stockton and a long straight trail south. Passed the Zoo entrance we just entered. Now here would have been a good point for a sweep to mark a short cut to the south around that boring loop. Two blocks later we had our last Check. Finally we head straight into the park. But over a bridge and that was the last mark I saw. Past a side path and a road and no marks. Returning to that path I ranged and went over the hill by the statue and still no marks. I finally saw a crowd of people at the end of the lagoon and it was the pack and the finish. Circle had already started and Roofie Ragu led a good circle. After circle the pack dissipated slowly and finally there were just four of us finishing off the beer in the setting sun on a beautiful day. I counted 28 in circle. Minus two hares and about five or six who didn't run and we had about 20 hounds on trail.

On On
Horn-E


On Wed, we had the The Whiskey Wednesday Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Puzzled In The Sack from the Bar On Buena. There were 15 hounds on trail and the trail headed a bit south east to the edge of Lincoln Park before heading north and eventually in to the park for a Whiskey Stop. The trail then weaved a bit as it headed north before back into the dreaded city streets. We worked our way south and towards the hares house. Whiskey Stop!!!. Not. The hare sucked us all in and the lights were out. Well done. The trail went on to the park and then back west along Montrose to the El Tracks and south to Buena for a beer stop. Beer Stop? This is Whiskey Wednesday. Whiskey stops and a short circle. The hell with what Horn-E drinks. But the beer was cold, even of only Coors Light. After a short circle we went back to the Bar On Buena where our favorite bartender in all of Chicago was working. Smells Like Twat Sweat. And good service too. Then we had a Thu, Thirstday Hash the next day. It was Just Michaels virgin lay and he had Horn-E showing him the ropes. Actually it was a great hash. Would I lie. Well, probably. But I won't talk about how great I thought it was. Here are the bitches I heard. To much running alleys along Lincoln Ave. Too obvious. Got hung up near Trader Joes. Hey, the check only had two Falses. And to damn much straight north on Ravenswood. Even with the two zig zags we added. But finally the hash got to the finish at a park at Montrose and Lincoln as Second Coming led almost the whole pack in at the same time. Well, Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Mommys Little Accident did come in about 3 or 4 minutes later. Any time I can nail a few FRBs and they come in DFL, I'll take it. Good sign of a good hash. Maybe. Back at the bar we had a good circle and as the only people in the bar, we could sing anything we wanted. On Sun was The Chicago Hash set by Gay Dancer and Silent But Deadly from the Chicago Historical Museum at the southern tip of Lincoln Park. The pack had just left to I dropped off my shag bag and was off to the races. But the trail didn't head into the park on a beautiful cloudless day. No, south through an alley and pavement pounding the whole way. Splits and Checks were swept. Good. Sweep marks had two glaring errors along the way. Bad.  Hooch B4 Cooch, another late comer, caught me along Division and we got to a Check at La Salle on the south east corner. It had a sweep mark pointing straight south. Two blocks later and we had no marks. Coming back on the WEST side of the street and we found marks at Division and La Salle on the WEST side of the street. That might have helped to point the sweep marks across the street to another path. But we ran on. About two blocks later there was a Split. West and south. South was marked. Two blocks later there were no marks. Returning on the WEST side of the street, there was a arrow found pointing south west into a park. That is six extra blocks. But I ran on and it was just some simple trail that eventually led to a long straight on Larrabee. A block to the west and north on another long block. Would we have a beer stop in Oz Park. Not hardly. At Armitage we had a right turn and five straight blocks towards Lincoln Park. Finally a Check at Lincoln and we headed north and east to the entrance to the Zoo. Straight through and then two blocks north to a Triple Split at Fullerton. Marked left, the trail headed west to Stockton and a long straight trail south. Passed the Zoo entrance we just entered. Now here would have been a good point for a sweep to mark a short cut to the south around that boring loop. Two blocks later we had our last Check. Finally we head straight into the park. But over a bridge and that was the last mark I saw. Past a side path and a road and no marks. Returning to that path I ranged and went over the hill by the statue and still no marks. I finally saw a crowd of people at the end of the lagoon and it was the pack and the finish. Circle had already started and Roofie Ragu led a good circle. After circle the pack dissipated slowly and finally there were just four of us finishing off the beer in the setting sun on a beautiful day. I counted 28 in circle. Minus two hares and about five or six who didn't run and we had about 20 hounds on trail. On On Horn-E

Last Week: 
On Tue, Apr 17, 2018, we had a First Crack of the Moon Hash set by Ice Princess and Jizzy from Weathermark Tavern. We had nine hounds on trail as they wound us around the south loop and into Grant Park and finally the usual park near the bar. Then we had a sitting circle in the bar and got around to naming Just Wendy. I was hoping for Ecuahor but we finally settled on, and I hope I have this spelling right, Delta Ten Freakquency. No I don't know why.

Thu, Apr 19, 2018, brought us our weekly Thirstday Hash from Irish Eyes and set by Furry Spice and Soul Taco. We had 15 hounds on trail and we ran to a quick shot stop within two or three blocks. From there it was north along Clark and then to the west. A big loop to the south and the usual park a block away for a quick beer stop. Then it was back to the bar for a quick circle.


On Sat Apr 21, 2018, morning Sandy Syphillis hosted and hared a Rag Time Hash from her apartment. Don't know who, what or anything else, but I'm sure it was a good time with lots of Champagne and brunch thingies.

The Bushman Hash was on Sat Apr 21, 2018, and Horn-E laid trail from Leckowitz Woods. This was to be the usual flower hash, but with the cold spring, I could barely spot a few hundred buds as compared to the usual millions of yellow flowers. So I set off to lay a normal Bushman trail. As I walked the trail I came near Caldwell Road. I try to avoid being near roads whenever possible, but trying to avoid wetlands for the pack, I came up to the road and along comes a car. Someone yells On On, but I don't recognize him in the shadows of the back of the car. I yelled out something to me, but I couldn't understand him with the traffic noises and he wasn't speaking English. He was speaking Australian. Duh. Somehow he found the start and at 2pm, with no one around, he took off on trail until the local tree police showed up. He then came back to the start and there was the pack forming. Two non runners, bad knees and hips, The Gas Stop Bob and Or G. But we had R-Tard-E, Lower Wackoff and False Advertising waiting to actually run. The Aussie is Just Steve and he will be around in the next several weeks. So the pack of four was soon off and I headed with the beer for the B stop along the river with the non runners. Eventually we saw the pack on the other side of the river while we were bird watching. Several hawks, either looking for lunch of feeling the warmer spring weather and looking for a comapnion. We had a cooler of beer and a nice easy going circle before heading to the Nil for a few more pitchers. And False Advertising took off quickly with the visitors bag in his trunk. Ooops. And we didn't have his phone number. But Gas Stop Bob managed to locate Lifa somewhere around the world and he came up with the number and False Advertising had to return to the bar and have another beer. Poor boy. 

Now Sun, Apr 22, 2018, was a way out of the normal range of the Chicago Hash as we ran from Rainbow Beach at 77th St and the Lakefront. Almost two hours for me to get there by pubic transit. And I barely made it before the pack was off. SnatchSquatch and Hobo Piss were the hares and Hobo Piss did a good job of sweeping for 14 hounds as we entered unknown territory. South through the park and then into old factory zones, now looking like a war zone without a building in sight, but many old roads and fields of shiggy. And the trail went on and on to the south and I was barely able to keep the leaders in sight and occasionally caught a little bit of a short cut. Eventually I saw the pack heading west and over Route 41 at 87th St. Another huge field and I found myself with a bit of a short cut and chasing FRBs across the field and near these huge concrete walls. I mean thick like fifteen feet at the base. We went towards the lake and finally around one of the walls and to a beer stop. Here we had a beer as hashers climbed over the no climbing signs and enjoyed the view. Then we were off again around the next wall and into the rape tunnel. Actually a long tunnel in the wall with many openings. This was all part of the old abandoned U. S. Steel plant and this tunnel had a purpose, but for us, it was something different to run through. At the end we ran along a slip from Lake Michigan. Probably for the old ore boats. No, not whore boats. Then we had to climb over the slip and past the dead birds floating below in the polluted water. From here it was back towards the lake and then long fields like we already ran with high weeds and abandoned roads to a final beer stop. Then a short run back through the park to the finish. We got out a grill and started cooking dogs and burgers and held a freezing circle in the cold winds off of the lake. From there I got a ride with Stiffy 4 Stiffes to the north side and saved over an hour travel time. Interesting historic hash. Someday it will all be sterilized housing and fancy parks and same ole same ole city running.
On Tue, there was a 4X2 Hash from Monks Pub. Actually a decent short trail set by Snotcho Mama with a lot of Backchecks and Falses and Checks to keep the pack together. Unfortunately there was only one hound, Horn-E and so there was no need to keep the pack together. And Horn-E found almost every False and Back Check and wrong directions at Checks turning a 3 mile trail into over 4.5. Damn. Then we stopped into Ogilvie Station for a quick beer so the hare could catch an early train. I looked at the taps and ordered a Founders. The hare ordered a Pinball. I tried to pay for my own, but he insisted on buying me a beer. He then got the bill on his credit card and it was $27. Unfreaking believable. Then the bar tender said that was because I got a large glass. It was only a freaking pint. We looked at the menu (provided after we ordered). Unbelievably Founders was listed at $17 for only 12 ounces. And I was poured 16 ounces. I sat there looking for the gold flakes floating in the beer. It was a stout and I've had three different ones since them and they all tasted better. WTF. If you ever have the urge to order a Founders beer. beware and make sure you get the price before ordering.


Tue had Lifa laying a trail from the Shamrock Club for the 4x2H4 hash. A turnout of only three hounds, but we managed to stay together for about a half hour. Then Snotcho Mama found a Check and was long gone before I even found we were at a Check. A little bit of snow and occasionally darkness and a few marks were missed. I missed the one to that Check. But Its Too Soft and myself eventually got back on trail and ran and checked, yes, Its Too Soft had to also, and the two of us ran on and on until we lost trail at a Check on Milwaukee. We ranged back towards the bar and I finally suggested that the trail might go to this little park along the river. There we found Snotcho Mama and Lifa. A quick beer and we were gone, back to the bar where no one even went in. Damn, I needed another one. One Hour and fifty minutes on trail for only four miles.  Check.

Thu was a virgin lay by Just Wendy and a co hare, Fetus Envy. Yeah, trouble there. Eleven hounds as we took off from Galaway Arms on an A to B trail. Mostly south at the start and I ended up behind with Son Of Spam and suddenly I spotted a T n E mark. Not mentioned in circle, but since the pack already left us behind to run around the lagoon by the zoo, we headed north. Eventually the trail came out of the park about a block north of the start and we found a Check at an alley. Also was a SN mark. I headed north into the alley and after going around a turn I found the third arrow and blow my horn. By now the main pack was catching up and Roofie Ragu ran on by me followed by the strung out pack. Unfortunately the Shot Stop went to the south in the alley. Lesson learned. The shot stop needs to be on true trail. Ooops. I heard only one person found it. We ran on with some difficulty due to turn arrows around corners causing us to miss a lot of them. We finally ended up in an alley for a beer stop and then a long walk to Galaway Bay for the B. We finally held a circle and the hares got there due.

Sat was a trail out on Woods on South Harlem for the Big Dog Hash, set by False Advertising. WE actually had 18 hounds. Instructionms were that we would be following little flags on the end of wire and every mark was a Check. We, they weren't and mostly easy to see the next mark and the pack was soon stretched out. I was running in back with Lower Wackoff and eventually three late comers passed. Well, two of them. Stiffy 4 Stiffies was running slow and hung over and even Horn-E beat him to the shot stop. From here we had to find the next flag and dig under neath it for something pointing the way of the true trail. It was a dirty skanky used and sticky dildo. And someone actually carried it back without a hazmat bag. Trail back was then relatively simple and straight forward. But Lower Wackoff still got lost and ended up following the flags backwards to find circle going when he got in. Good circle, Big Dog style. Then we had some quick grillables before the cold pack headed for warm kennels back home.

Sun was set by Rumple Stealskids and Ritlin Cum Bubble setting trail for CH3. Started alright and we were together for three blocks until the fist Check. Most of the pack was checking to the east when the trail was found to the south. Unfortunately the four of five of us that did that were left behind because the rest of the pack wandered east and picked up on trail and were gone. By the time I got out of the Target parking lot, I could see only two hashers in the distance headng east and then north. So I headed north and eventually was able to spot both Lifa and TampOn TampOff because of their green and red jackets. I followed the red jacket and headed north on California. Somewhere I lost him but found myself following another red jacket just jogging around this park. Ooops. But this did lead me to an On Back Check. After finally solving that, it was relatively straight back to the beer stop. Lifa, also running not on pack came up behind me and ran on. We got to the beer stop only to find SnatchSquatch waiting. He also was off trail, but had seen the Beer Stop on the way from his house. Sneaky bastard. And there we stood for about forty-five minutes before the pack arrived. Back at the bar we held a quick circle. The best entertainment was watching Its Too Soft fall asleep sitting on a chair three minutes into circle. After Circle the pack was gone quicker then a work force during an ICE raid in a meat packing plant. WTF.


Last Week: 
On Tue, we had a First Crack of the Moon Hash set by Ice Princess and Jizzy from Weathermark Tavern. We had nine hounds on trail as they wound us around the south loop and into Grant Park and finally the usual park near the bar. Then we had a sitting circle in the bar and got around to naming Just Wendy. I was hoping for Ecuahor but we finally settled on, and I hope I have this spelling right, Delta Ten Freakquency. No I don't know why.

Thu, brought us our weekly Thirstday Hash from Irish Eyes and set by Furry Spice and Soul Taco. We had 15 hounds on trail and we ran to a quick shot stop within two or three blocks. From there it was north along Clark and then to the west. A big loop to the south and the usual park a block away for a quick beer stop. Then it was back to the bar for a quick circle.


On Sat morning Sandy Syphillis hosted and hared a Rag Time Hash from her apartment. Don't know who, what or anything else, but I'm sure it was a good time with lots of Champagne and brunch thingies.

The Bushman Hash was on Sat and Horn-E laid trail from Leckowitz Woods. This was to be the usual flower hash, but with the cold spring, I could barely spot a few hundred buds as compared to the usual millions of yellow flowers. So I set off to lay a normal Bushman trail. As I walked the trail I came near Caldwell Road. I try to avoid being near roads whenever possible, but trying to avoid wetlands for the pack, I came up to the road and along comes a car. Someone yells On On, but I don't recognize him in the shadows of the back of the car. I yelled out something to me, but I couldn't understand him with the traffic noises and he wasn't speaking English. He was speaking Australian. Duh. Somehow he found the start and at 2pm, with no one around, he took off on trail until the local tree police showed up. He then came back to the start and there was the pack forming. Two non runners, bad knees and hips, The Gas Stop Bob and Or G. But we had R-Tard-E, Lower Wackoff and False Advertising waiting to actually run. The Aussie is Just Steve and he will be around in the next several weeks. So the pack of four was soon off and I headed with the beer for the B stop along the river with the non runners. Eventually we saw the pack on the other side of the river while we were bird watching. Several hawks, either looking for lunch of feeling the warmer spring weather and looking for a comapnion. We had a cooler of beer and a nice easy going circle before heading to the Nil for a few more pitchers. And False Advertising took off quickly with the visitors bag in his trunk. Ooops. And we didn't have his phone number. But Gas Stop Bob managed to locate Lifa somewhere around the world and he came up with the number and False Advertising had to return to the bar and have another beer. Poor boy. 

Now Sun was a way out of the normal range of the Chicago Hash as we ran from Rainbow Beach at 77th St and the Lakefront. Almost two hours for me to get there by pubic transit. And I barely made it before the pack was off. SnatchSquatch and Hobo Piss were the hares and Hobo Piss did a good job of sweeping for 14 hounds as we entered unknown territory. South through the park and then into old factory zones, now looking like a war zone without a building in sight, but many old roads and fields of shiggy. And the trail went on and on to the south and I was barely able to keep the leaders in sight and occasionally caught a little bit of a short cut. Eventually I saw the pack heading west and over Route 41 at 87th St. Another huge field and I found myself with a bit of a short cut and chasing FRBs across the field and near these huge concrete walls. I mean thick like fifteen feet at the base. We went towards the lake and finally around one of the walls and to a beer stop. Here we had a beer as hashers climbed over the no climbing signs and enjoyed the view. Then we were off again around the next wall and into the rape tunnel. Actually a long tunnel in the wall with many openings. This was all part of the old abandoned U. S. Steel plant and this tunnel had a purpose, but for us, it was something different to run through. At the end we ran along a slip from Lake Michigan. Probably for the old ore boats. No, not whore boats. Then we had to climb over the slip and past the dead birds floating below in the polluted water. From here it was back towards the lake and then long fields like we already ran with high weeds and abandoned roads to a final beer stop. Then a short run back through the park to the finish. We got out a grill and started cooking dogs and burgers and held a freezing circle in the cold winds off of the lake. From there I got a ride with Stiffy 4 Stiffes to the north side and saved over an hour travel time. Interesting historic hash. Someday it will all be sterilized housing and fancy parks and same ole same ole city running.


On Thu 12 Apr, 2018 we had a Thirstday Hash set by Putt Putt In The Butt from Dickens Street Pub. We had a nice pack of 14 hounds as he headed east on Dickens. A block later was a triple Split. The true trail went right to Armitage, around the block and back to Dickens Street. I believe half the pack went straight east at the Triple Split and found that short on back trail and the pack was now split up a bit. By the time I got there, the pack was mostly gone and I saw two hashers disappearing into the park on the north side of the street. I followed, but found no marks. As I headed back. Lifa came along and yelled he was on one from the Check. Check? I followed and we headed into the park. Trail went around the lagoon and suddenly became blue chalk in the dark, and shadows and on asphalt. The larger pack might have been able to see that last Split where I lost Lifa, but I didn't. More pink and blue marks on through the park and a check. Swept to the south, but no more visible marks that I could find. So I abandoned the attempt and headed into the city and down North Ave. After a few blocks there was suddenly a hidden arrow. Back on, I managed to follow the rest of the trail without problems, despite some mysterious marks and suddenly I was at B in Oz Park and there was the pack. Back at the bar we drank PBR tall boys and held a nice circle. 

Sat. Apr 14, 2018, was The Big Dog Hash set Crotch Fire. We had eight hounds. Well, six running hounds and two walkers under a big yellow umbrella, Zone 2 and Let Me Blow. Unusual trail. After the first right turn arrow, there was nothing but Triple Splits and Checks and all were left turns or straight as the trail was an ever widening spiril from the start until a final right turn and a left turn to a straight run of three blocks down an alley an On In. We ended up in the garage, heated with a wood buring cast iron stove and we were soo  holding circle while our hare cooked two deep fat fried turkeys. Delicions. . Eventually cums On All bases arrived with some desert for us. Thanks and Cum again.

On Sun, Apr 15, 2018, we had a Chicago Hash set by False Advertising from Burwood Tap. Injured, yes again, I followed the pack of nine other hounds, walking as they headed south on Halsted. That was about all I saw of the trail. Went through Oz Park and then the Zoo and who knows where. I managed to walk that part not on trail, but on the word of the hare. First time I ever went through the zoo and didn't see a single animal. Not even a sparrow or a squirrel. The beer stop was in the nearby playground and then back to Burwood for a fun circle and plenty of pitchers of beer.


Tue Apr 3, 2018, was another 4X2H3 Hash. Snotcho Mama hared for a wild pack of Horn-E and Lifa. And there were enough twists and turns and back checks that even Horn-E led on occasion. A few quick beers and we were on home.

Then on Thu, Apr 5, 2018, Stiffy 4 Stiffies laid a hash for his birthday from Celtic Crown for TH3. Two in bar beer stops and an outside bourbon stop and about 6 miles. The first one was at Christina's, home of the $3 Guinness. Damn inflation. Used to cost $2. But the bar is rehabbed and looking really nice. We had 13 trail hounds and a few who rode along with the hare to the various stops. Celtic Crown was upstairs for once and we had a nice circle.
Sun was a Second City Hash set by Speckle Bird and a Chicago Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffys from The Booze Hound. The finish and beer stop was set by Speckle Bird and the trail was set by Stiffy 4 Stiffies. And short for once, but nicely laid. And Speckle Bird swept the trail from the front. At least that is what I think happened. But this is a hash trash and accuracy isn't always possible, or desirable. We had 21 hounds on trail, and some good and some cheap beers. And after almost everyone left, out came some damn good beers. Squeeze These didn't run, but runs the kitchen and there were four large platters of different kinds of salads for after. Yeah, some meat too. Oh, and SnatchSquatch ran circle, sometimes, and sometimes good, and sometimes.....

Sun was a Second City Hash set by Speckle Bird and a Chicago Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffys from The Booze Hound. The finish and beer stop was set by Speckle Bird and the trail was set by Stiffy 4 Stiffies. And short for once, but nicely laid. And Speckle Bird swept the trail from the front. At least that is what I think happened. But this is a hash trash and accuracy isn't always possible, or desirable. We had 21 hounds on trail, and some good and some cheap beers. And after almost everyone left, out came some damn good beers. Squeeze These didn't run, but runs the kitchen and there were four large platters of different kinds of salads for after. Yeah, some meat too. Oh, and SnatchSquatch ran circle, sometimes, and sometimes good, and sometimes.....
Sun was a Second City Hash set by Speckle Bird n was a Second City Hash set by Speckle Bird and a Chicago Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffys
Sun was a Second City Hash set by Speckle Bird
Sun was a Second City Hash set by Speckle Bird and a Chicago Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffysand a Chicago Hash set by Stiffy 4 Stiffys from The Booze Hound. The finish and beer stop was set by Speckle Bird and the trail was set by Stiffy 4 Stiffies. and the trail was set by Stiffy 4 Stiffies. And short for once, but nicely laid. The trail was laid by Stiffy 4 Stiffies. And short for once, but nicely laid. And Speckle Bird swept the trail from the front. At least that is what I think happened. But this is a hash trash and accuracy isn't always possible, or desirable. We had 21 hounds on trail, and some good and some cheap beers. And after almost everyone left, out came some damn good beers. Squeeze These didn't run, but runs the kitchen and there were four large platters of different kinds of salads for after. Yeah, some meat too. Oh, and SnatchSquatch ran circle, sometimes, and sometimes good, and sometimes.....

Wed 28 Mar, 2018was a Whiskey Wednesday Hash and Glory Hole and Bi Holer laid trail from Haymarket Brewery for 9 hounds. We headed towards the loop and then north towards Lake and over the river. I was heading further east when the trail was found on Orleans over the river and north. I followed and somehow missed an arrow pointing down some stairs to Kinzie St. I'm not only getting slow, now I going blind. I looked for that mark and somehow didn't see it. Five to 10 minutes of searching and ranging and I get back to that arrow I missed heading down the steps. I bent over and asked some cute girls to give me a swift kick in the ass for being so damn blind. Damn, they did. The last one almost sent me flying down the stairs. But I ventured on and followed trail until I caught the pack at a Check at Milwaukee just north of Grand. We had one virgin on trail, J. Tiffiny, and she was the one who finally bailed out the hash and found trail in virgin territory between two buildings. From there it was a relatively easy trail heading south to the west loop area and over to the hares Condo for the On In. In his Condo we held a short, laid back circle and let the hares know what we thought of their trail. And their whiskey which the pack devoured.
 
Thu, 29 Mar, 2018, we had a Thirstday Hash with Silent But Deadly and Loin Dick II laying trail from Redmonds for seven hounds. Silent But Deadly Gave me shit in the circle for criticizing her trails in the past as long straights and few marks. Well, this one really started out good. Lots of marks, bright and white. Splits and Checks and turns. But for some reason
the pack got quickly strung out. Hmmm. Then as I was running along trying to keep the back in sight, I got stopped by some young lady who ran up behind me and asked me about my horn. Her parents, Icelanders, got a bigger one for their 25th Anniversary, all engraved and such. Well, now I'm five minutes behind. I run south from Addison and then over to Lake Shore Dr. Now the nice twisting trail get back to form. Long straight, four blocks without  a turn including one entire block without a mark. Finally just before a Check, Just Wendy came up behind me. Wrong way on a few Splits. The Check was marked right and then crossed out. So we went south. When in doubt, go straight. Two marks and then another block without a mark. So we figured we had to miss something and went right to Broadway. Nothing. We ranged north on Broadway and still nothing. J. Wendy finally went back to the Check to try further. I was not going to keep up with her so I ranged back south thinking the trail had to go south and I never saw another mark. meanwhile, J. Wendy found the trail over to the park and another long straight all the way to north of Addison. Then around Wrigley and south to a school yard where the hounds found a beer stop with no beer. Then the hares arrived with beer and took off for the warmth of Redmonds leaving the pack standing there in the cold. Back at the bar Gay Dancer eventually led us in a long circle. Then Silent But Deadly pressured me to okay the new price increases to $10. For the record, I suggested $8 exact change or $10 over the summer to get everyone used to the idea. Normally I prefer the lower costs and passing the hat for those that want to keep drinking well into the night. Light drinkers or those that have to leave early shouldn't have to pay for those that never quit, like Horn-E. And I've been last out more times then you've hashed.

30 Mar, 2018, Good Friday meant a good hashing Friday and Lower Wackoff would lay us a good trail from Yackoo's for the Chicago Full Moon Hash. We had seven hounds heading out through a maze of city streets before a Check at a park that would hopefully lead to the local golf course to run in the dark. By now, Son Of Span was already a hero. He found a senior citizen collapsed on the sidewalk from a fall. No, not Horn-E. He helped the old man up so he could continue his monthly walk to his girlfriends house where they could pray for a glorious raising of a member of past glory. When laying trail, Lower Wackoff found that the local border security agents had repaired the fence. So he had to plan a course around the course before finally getting into a bit of short woods running that led to the beer stop on a cliff over the river and under a beautiful Blue Moon. And it was ably guarded by Bingo and her new friend. Meanwhile Horn-E knew Lower Wackoff wanted to run the golf course and ran/walked to the usual hole in the fence. Damn. repaired. But the local wet backs, or just local neighbors had already set up some logs to aid in climbing the border wall. So, he did. He wandered around the golf course looking for marks and enjoying the peaceful solitude as he worked his way to a hole in the fence they didn't repair. From there it was under Devon along the river and a nice jog on forest paths and such along the river until he also made it to the beer stop. After a couple of beers we headed back to Yackoff's for good pizza and beer and a second circle. We then named Bingo's new friend. She passed the questions with many surrogates answering questions in her behalf. Several names suggested were Queen, Spelling, Quilting, Busy and the final two, Ada and Honey. She will forever more be known as Honey and she will guard our beer with threats of stinging and cross pollination.

31 Mar 2018, Now we come to Marathon Training, I mean the Chicago Hash, Easter Sunday preview, now known as Passover hash. Three Jews, no, not three wise men, three Jews, W Jew 40, Little Trojan Annie and Roofie Ragu had a great idea. The Jews left Egypt and wandered around in the desert for forty years or whatever. So they were going to have us wander around Chicago for forty miles. Well, not actually. Lifa clocked only 11.5 miles. Then Moses, I mean Roofie Rago laid most of it. Twenty three hounds took off on this great adventure. Some actually finished. There were four beer stop where beer might be available, but there was also a bottle of Maniscevitz to consume as well. There were also games to be played at each stop. I managed to get to the first beer stop after being slowed down by an unmarked back check, a Split that had me going the wrong way in an alley (really one of the best alley treks in Chicago), and four Falses withing a hundred feet of each other after. By then they had taken off on the second leg of trail. It was already 50 minutes for me. Since they were already gone, I grabbed a beer and settled in with the other quitters. But I did beat Zone 2 who also fell back and got stuck in the falses. Must have gotten them from the Dead Sea Scrolls. The hash was set to end at the TrojanJew B & B for circle and some good kosher grub. I had to leave just as they all got there. I'm sure it was a good circle and good time. But 11.5 miles. That cost us one virgin. But welcome to J. Alex. They all aren't that long.


We started with Horn-E Mar 20, 2018, laying a short trail from Big Joe's on Tue for the First Crack of the Moon Hash. Expecting the usual small crowd, I was surprised with nine hounds, a bigger pack then the following CH3 and TH3. WTF. But anyway, they were off through the close by tunnel and along a strip park by the Metra Tracks. And this pack was moving. I circled ahead and saw Meat Inside Her leading after the Second Check. Then I retreated to that strip park where I found a great little beer stop. They wandered around on trail until they headed back to that tunnel where I corrected one mark heading the pack back into the tunnel and back to that strip park. I also added a B at some evergreen trees that had a slight gap between them to an inside teepee type of area. Perfect for the beer stop. Hobo Piss ran right by it, but Berts Special Friend spotted the B and came in as FRB. Lower Wckoff was just a few minutes behind as DFL. The pack was together and we eventually held a pre-circle in that evergreen tent. But it was still a bit windy so we retreated to Big Joe's for a second Circle and more beer. Thanks to Cock Whisperer, we had about 20 beers donated for the beer stop. Warm, but I quickly spread them around on the ground and they were cool enough for the pack.

Thu Mar 22, 2018, was a TH3 trail and a last minute hare stand in, SnatchSquatch, haring out of Nesai Lounge. Lame again, I couldn't run so I eventually walked over to the beer stop where I counted seven hounds on trail. First in was Just Jenelle followed by Fetus Envy, andeventually the normal FRB types, Gay Dancer and One Fuck Chuck who both ran amok and added up over seven miles of trail as they came in DFL. There was a total count of seven house puppies, the lame and lazy and those that just don't run. Half non runners. WOW. Circle was held in this strip park by a cemetery and ended abruptly when two squad cars came by with lights flashing.

Sat Mar 24, 2018, was a Rag Time Hash set by RumpleStealsKids from her house. Missed it and don't know what happened.

Sun Mar 25, 2018, was a CH3 Hash set by Fetus Envy and Ball Cock Dumper from Weathermark. This was after the annual Beer in the Box. That means, many hashers ran the morning 8K Shamrock Shuffle and then got free beer tickets from any non drinking runner they could find and drank ON and ON. A bunch ended up at the start, but weren't running. Finally three hounds showed up. I was still lame, thank God. They took off running and ran and ran and ran. Well Lifa did. One visitor, a walker who walked along with the hares to the beer stops. That left two runners and a T and E trail. WTF. Lifa managed the Eagle alone and did 9.73 miles. Two hours to the second beer stop. Menstrual Casserole and I walked over, about a mile, and apparently got there just after Lifa. I handed over the Hash Cash to the hare and they started Circle. I sure wasn't dressed for an outdoor circle and soon left the freezing hares and hounds. Furry Spice was also there, I don't think he ran, but he did have on new shoes and in the cold, he took off both shoes and drank out of them while standing in bare feet on the cold ground/grass. Well done.

On Thu, Mar 15, 2018,  Loin Dick 2 laid her virgin solo trail for TH3 and 9 trail hounds. It will live on as a trail from hell. Well, not really. The course was nicely planned, map and all. The execution was off. The marks were good, when you could find them and when they actually pointed the right way. To put it simply, more marks, closer together, each mark points to the next mark, and you can't go from one side of the street to the other and back again without indicating such. I probably ran about three miles and was only a mile or so into the course when I decided to let it go. On the way back to the bar, I decided to check the usual park where we hold a lot of beer checks. Yep, there she was, all smiles. It was 20 minutes before Silent But Deadly arrived and she admitted to short cutting a big section. Another 20 minutes before Fetus Envy and Just Ben arrived. But eventually we circled at Danny's Tap Room and she took the criticism with all smiles. And beer. Hey, it was her virgin attempt. We'll set her up with a co-hare and look forward to her next attempt. 

Sat, Mar 17, 2018 was a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from Forest Glen Woods. I'd like to say it was the best hash of the year and we had forty racing hounds, but I'm not that big of a liar.
The trail was reasonable for the area. The marks were questionable in parts, (later) or good marks. But the pack was only four. And there was no running there. Just Do Me Slowly isn't really running much or at all lately. The Gas Stop Bob is a walker, but loves the woods trails. Or G has had leg injury issues for years and he couldn't run. That left our visitor, Pied Piper, stopping by for a quick trail before heading to the airport. Street clothes and no intention of running. I spent over two hours laying a trail for running and now they would walk it. About 90 minutes with walkers doing all the checking. But a nice circle in the woods as usual. Then everyone got cold. We retreated to Aunt Edna's bar for a quick beer and everyone had to leave. At least I got a ride from The Gas Stop Bob to my bus stop. LATER: I tried something different for marking flour on trees. It sort of works and sort of doesn't. I filled a sock with flour and banged it against trees. Sometimes it made a nice mark, other times I had to give it several wacks and some were probably to light. And if you were downwind from the tree when you wacked it, you got a face full of flour. In the interest of experimentation, I'll try it once more, in an area where the trail is fairly obvious. This time I'll use ladies nylons, knee highs, and see if they give a good mark. It that works, we'll try it more. If not, well, I tried. Back to the old bare hand or cotton glove. 

Sun, Mar 18, 2018 was the Chicago Hash with The Cock Whisperer and Rusty Grundle laying trail from Cleos for an A to B trail for 11 hounds. Thanks to the CTA giving me bad information and not realizing it until it was to late, I was to late. But so was Hooch B4 Cooch and I had a place to store my bag in his car. It was now 2:55. No way I'd catch up but Hooch B4 Cooch did. The trail was nicely swept with only one Check not marked and I found that right away. Actually most marks were sort of obvious with the exception of a Split in an alley, just before the trail got to Augusta. Both directions had no mark. But the trail was quickly found around two corners on Augusta and we were off and running. I got to the beer stop after the pack left, but there was a cold Hamms sitting on the ground waiting for me. And a message on where the Circle would be, Damen and Caroll. Yeah, like I ever heard of Caroll St. So I abandoned trail, not running with a full beer, and headed for Damen. There some couple was nice enough to give me directions, way south on Damen. And as I took off, there comes Hooch B4 Cooch on the other side of the street, heading for his car. So I rode back with him. Circle was in the railroad area, up a weed overgrown path and back from the road. Tons of cold beer, warm sun and three visitors. All was good.


Tue 3/6/2018 had Lifa laying a trail from the Shamrock Club for the 4x2H4 hash. A turnout of only three hounds, but we managed to stay together for about a half hour. Then Snotcho Mama found a Check and was long gone before I even found we were at a Check. A little bit of snow and occasionally darkness and a few marks were missed. I missed the one to that Check. But Its Too Soft and myself eventually got back on trail and ran and checked, yes, Its Too Soft had to also, and the two of us ran on and on until we lost trail at a Check on Milwaukee. We ranged back towards the bar and I finally suggested that the trail might go to this little park along the river. There we found Snotcho Mama and Lifa. A quick beer and we were gone, back to the bar where no one even went in. Damn, I needed another one. One Hour and fifty minutes on trail for only four miles.  Check.

Thu 3/8/2018 was a virgin lay by Just Wendy and a co hare, Fetus Envy. Yeah, trouble there. Eleven hounds as we took off from Galaway Arms on an A to B trail. Mostly south at the start and I ended up behind with Son Of Spam and suddenly I spotted a T n E mark. Not mentioned in circle, but since the pack already left us behind to run around the lagoon by the zoo, we headed north. Eventually the trail came out of the park about a block north of the start and we found a Check at an alley. Also was a SN mark. I headed north into the alley and after going around a turn I found the third arrow and blow my horn. By now the main pack was catching up and Roofie Ragu ran on by me followed by the strung out pack. Unfortunately the Shot Stop went to the south in the alley. Lesson learned. The shot stop needs to be on true trail. Ooops. I heard only one person found it. We ran on with some difficulty due to turn arrows around corners causing us to miss a lot of them. We finally ended up in an alley for a beer stop and then a long walk to Galaway Bay for the B. We finally held a circle and the hares got there due.

Sat 3/10/2018 was a trail out on Woods on South Harlem for the Big Dog Hash, set by False Advertising. WE actually had 18 hounds. Instructionms were that we would be following little flags on the end of wire and every mark was a Check. We, they weren't and mostly easy to see the next mark and the pack was soon stretched out. I was running in back with Lower Wackoff and eventually three late comers passed. Well, two of them. Stiffy 4 Stiffies was running slow and hung over and even Horn-E beat him to the shot stop. From here we had to find the next flag and dig under neath it for something pointing the way of the true trail. It was a dirty skanky used and sticky dildo. And someone actually carried it back without a hazmat bag. Trail back was then relatively simple and straight forward. But Lower Wackoff still got lost and ended up following the flags backwards to find circle going when he got in. Good circle, Big Dog style. Then we had some quick grillables before the cold pack headed for warm kennels back home.

Sun 3/11/2018 was set by Rumple Stealskids and Ritlin Cum Bubble setting trail for CH3. Started alright and we were together for three blocks until the fist Check. Most of the pack was checking to the east when the trail was found to the south. Unfortunately the four of five of us that did that were left behind because the rest of the pack wandered east and picked up on trail and were gone. By the time I got out of the Target parking lot, I could see only two hashers in the distance headng east and then north. So I headed north and eventually was able to spot both Lifa and TampOn TampOff because of their green and red jackets. I followed the red jacket and headed north on California. Somewhere I lost him but found myself following another red jacket just jogging around this park. Ooops. But this did lead me to an On Back Check. After finally solving that, it was relatively straight back to the beer stop. Lifa, also running not on pack came up behind me and ran on. We got to the beer stop only to find SnatchSquatch waiting. He also was off trail, but had seen the Beer Stop on the way from his house. Sneaky bastard. And there we stood for about forty-five minutes before the pack arrived. Back at the bar we held a quick circle. The best entertainment was watching Its Too Soft fall asleep sitting on a chair three minutes into circle. After Circle the pack was gone quicker then a work force during an ICE raid in a meat packing plant. WTF.

On Wed. Feb 28, 2018 Son Of Spam laid a Whiskey Wednesday Hash from 50/Fifty. Five hounds started trail and only 4 finished. Horn-E, where are you? We started working our way south with a lot of back and forth. Finally Horn-E found trail heading south from a Check and to another Check on Chicago. We then went about five long blocks straight west on Chicago. A couple of Splits let the hash pass Horn-E and after Western Ave, Horn-E was alone. DFL again. The next Check he never found a mark after the third mark. After another mile or two, he gave up and got back to the bar and waited for the pack who were holding a whiskey circle in an alley. Eventually one hound and the hare joined Horn-E for one drink and the rest went home. WTF.

Thu Mar 1, 2018, had a Grateful Dick laid trail from O'shaugnessys for an a to b trail for 11 hounds. We had a few hard to find checks in two blocks and the trail finally led up to the Ravenswood tracks. Fetus Envy went up there and couldn't find a mark. Meanwhile the rest went around under the nearest trestles hoping for marks coming down the other side. Nope. So the pack just headed north and found the On In, two blocks away. So they headed backwards on trail and eventually had to call the hare to find the beer stop. Meanwhile, Horn-E, yep, off trail again, ranged south. No marks after several blocks coming down from the tracks. So he returned to where the trail went up on the tracks and there was a mark that Fetus Envy never saw. Back and forth and left and right, trying to find more marks got three whole tiny marks all the way to Irving Park, in the dark, on live Metra tracks with high fences on both sides. The hare said trail came down at Irving Park, but no marks were found so Horn-E returned to the bar for a Guinness and waited for someone to return. The finish was a hundred yards north in a parking lot where some good hot dogs and burgers were grilled. Well, at least something worked well.

Fri Mar 2, 2018, was a Chicago Full Moon Hash set from Aberdeen Tap. Meat Inside Her and Berts Special Friend laid trail for five hounds. I never saw anyone after the first block. Yep, lost again. Well, not really lost. I quickly found trail but the small pack was long gone, It was a nicely laid trail with lots of twists and turns and through the West Loop area. I finally made in into the finish in an alley as the circle had just started. After circle the pack split and four of us walked over to Twisted Spoke for a beer.

Sat Mar 3, 2018, was a Second City Hash from Weathermark. Crash Test Dummy laid trail for five hounds and after a short loop in alleys we headed into the park and north. Back and forth we managed to stay together until the fire department, and police department and a burning car and Horn-E fell behind again. The pack somehow managed to find the shot stop just south of the Are Institute. Horn-E managed to find the whole trail and came in dead last. So what else is new. Just wait. The Bean was mentioned and somehow we found a Check there as some marks got wiped out. I never saw SnatchSquatch there, but he was around. Lifa headed west and north to Randolph and found trail. The last I saw of Furry Spice and Hooch B4 Cooch was them heading east. I went north and found a Split. I went east and that was wrong. I think that is when Lifa was blowing his whistle and the rest gathered on Randolph and headed west. Meanwhile I came back and headed west and found the trail. I blew the horn many times and no one came. They were already gone. Damn. So I Triple Split got me with looping and missing the true trail and going all the way to Lake. Finally found trail and headed west to State and a split that was barely visible. More aimless running around until giving up and heading south on State and there was a mark. The turn mark got wiped out. From here it was zigging and zagging through Checks and Splits and faded marks to west of La Salle and south of Congress and a BN. That took over another mile of checking before stumbling on the third arrow. From here I ran on without much difficulty except going long stretches without marks all the way to 16th St and an eventual On In. I got in about 170 minutes after the start. All the way alone and without a single true trail mark so I didn't know if I was in front, behind, or the only one on trail. Sort of gave me the drive to continue. That and beautiful weather and a decent trail if the marks were something of a problem at times. Back at the bar. the pack was already doing circle.


Sun Mar 4, 2018, had Tell It To My Nipples laying a birthday trail from Double Bubble. Biggest brightest arrows in memory. Take note hares. The trail was a big loop through the area and from my perspective, near the rear, it looked like a simple trail and with a fast pack they really blew through the trail and faded in the distance. And they marked every Check and Split. Well done. I followed False Advertising until his hangover over took him and he faded back past me to the following Zone 2 and W Jew 40. Now, all I had to do was stay on trail and I wouldn't be DFL. Planned worked as I arrived at the B in an alley where all the pickers were going through the possessions of an eviction. We also had a visitor, Just Patty from Guatemala who might make some more hashes this week. Welcome.

On On
Horn-E



On Thu, Feb 15 the TH3 hash was held at Danny's Tap Room. Lucky I heard about in in advance because there was no update on the TH3 web site. The hares were W Jew 40, Foamy Discharge, O'Shitty Discharge, or was it Foamy Runch, and finally Riot Me This Riot Me That. All of those hares and no sweep. We started out with 8 hounds and were immediately scattered and all confused with a starting False and an immediate Check. By the time I got through that, everyone was out of sight to the east. I managed to catch up with Loin Dick 2 returning from a False. We couldn't solve that Check and started ranging in a big loop before finding trail. After that the trail wasn't to bad and even though there were no sweeps or hounds marking rail we ran on okay as I tried to keep her in sight. I finally lost track of her, probably at a Check that I found right away. Ran on and finally had a Split marked, and crossed out and remarked so that you couldn't figure out which way they tried to point out. Looked straight to me, even though I thought it would be left. So I went straight and it was left. Finally ran over Logan Blvd and up to a triple Split. This time I didn't believe what looked like someone marked for the true trail. I used my instincts and was right, going right. Soon I was at the beer stop before everyone left. And somehow I got in front of Loin Dick 2. We finally left and two blocks before the bar, One Fuck Chuck got an email. Yep, Loin Dick 2. At the beer stop and no one there. Back at the bar Furry Spice led us in a circle and then the Sausage Man arrived. Good stuff, but I almost died on that horseradish.

Fri, Feb 16 2018 was The First Crack of the Moon Hash
Asian New Years hash. Meat Inside her and Stiffy 4 Stiffies cooked and 16 hounds followed a Lifa trail. I was near the front as we ran past the United Center and found a Check. No one went north so I did. After a block i looked back and no one was there. So I ranged east and after a long block I saw Fetus Envy entering a parking lot.Yeah, I'm back. Feather leads the pack out of the parking lot and a loop right back towards me. Boom. I'm running second behind Feather to a quick Split. He went west and I went right and I was on. two short blocks late I was still near the front at a Check on Ashland. Fetus Envy went north. Just Trevor and I crossed the street into a park. He choose north east in the park and I headed east and I was soon ON. Crossing Ogden was a Split and I picked wrong, but loopoing around I found myself running up to Fetus Envy at the next Check. I went south and was wrong. Heard no one calling, but the trail went right back the way I came, but on the wrong side of the street. Damn. So I ran on, alone, through two back checks and eventually crossing the Expressway on Ogden to a Check. Lower Wackoff had marked it with a tiny bit of chalk, but it was a short cut instead of actual trail and his attempt to get me back on true trail failed as I didn't see the sticks he marked it with or they got moved. Anyway, I was suddenly off trail and poor prospects and near the finish so I ran back to the start and got there about five minutes before the pack started to arrive. It is always more fun near the front or in front and I managed for a short bit of trail so, I had fun. Back at the start, we had a circle and then started into some great Asian and Korean food and of course some good beer. And I just made it to the last bus of the night.

Sat, Feb 17 2018 was the Bushman Hash set by Horn-E  from Lechowitz Woods with five hounds. I was able to sweep and follow the pack. The woods were covered in a few inches of snow. The goal, the golf course, also had a few inches of snow except where the cross country skiers had made trail that melted faster. Great for the trail. The first section of woods led to a path and a great Back Check and Lower Wackoff who was running last was suddenly first to a Check in the golf Course fairway. He headed off on the correct trail and somehow missed the first mark and the rest were scattered all over the fairway, getting close to the return trail. But we got back on trail and False Advertising led us into the woods and a bridge and the next Check. Lifa and R Tard E went down a road to the NW. No marks, but they kept going. Lower Wackoff found trail to the south and yelled on. Great. And he found the False. So when they returned they headed down that same road, again missing the very obvious true trail. Damn. Then at the fairway they headed south along the east edge while Lifa and R Tard E were on the far opposite edge of another fairway running a False trail from the next Check. Like I say, no marks and Cums On All Bases runs on and eventually finds the On Back trail. Shit. So I head into the woods after them as they get to some melted wet lands and circle around and finally get on trail as designed. From here it was just trail up a steep hill, over a bridge, slippery icy path and woods to the finish. R Tard E was first to the B and Cums On All Bases found the beer. Best beer stop of the year. In the hollow of a huge dead tree. We have pictures of five of us inside of the tree and room for more. And the snow was just getting started and we circled up and had a few beers each before heading out to the On In at the Nil. That tree was like standing inside of a huge chimney with two entrances. I'd been by there, withing fifteen feet, dozens of time and never investigated it.

Sun Feb 18, 2018, was the Chicago Hash set by
Lower Wackoff with some lame assistance from Horn-E from The Booze Hound. Horn-E was supposed to get there at 2pm to help set the beer stop and then wait there along with Bingo for the pack to arrive. But a last minute phone call that I couldn't break away from and just missing three buses and it was 2:30 before I got there. I even tried catching a cab, but with Lyft and Uber, there just aren't many for flagging down on the street and the only one wouldn't pick me up. Anyway, the pack of nine hounds got going. The trail was to show some previous hares in that area, how to run the various abandoned tracks and live tracks and how to set trail on them. But they didn't show, and the pack got split up on some disappearing marks and a long dead end alley and struggled on in two packs before finally finding the Beer Stop between an abandoned factory and some abandoned tracks in the warm sun. SnatchSquatch led the circle, Soul Taco was beer wench and the hares drank a lot. And Slap Dat Ass finally came out of hibernation.


On Thu, the TH3 hash was held at Danny's Tap Room. Lucky I heard about in in advance because there was no update on the TH3 web site. The hares were W Jew 40, Foamy Discharge, O'Shitty Discharge, or was it Foamy Runch, and finally Riot Me This Riot Me That. All of those hares and no sweep. We started out with 8 hounds and were immediately scattered and all confused with a starting False and an immediate Check. By the time I got through that, everyone was out of sight to the east. I managed to catch up with Loin Dick 2 returning from a False. We couldn't solve that Check and started ranging in a big loop before finding trail. After that the trail wasn't to bad and even though there were no sweeps or hounds marking rail we ran on okay as I tried to keep her in sight. I finally lost track of her, probably at a Check that I found right away. Ran on and finally had a Split marked, and crossed out and remarked so that you couldn't figure out which way they tried to point out. Looked straight to me, even though I thought it would be left. So I went straight and it was left. Finally ran over Logan Blvd and up to a triple Split. This time I didn't believe what looked like someone marked for the true trail. I used my instincts and was right, going right. Soon I was at the beer stop before everyone left. And somehow I got in front of Loin Dick 2. We finally left and two blocks before the bar, One Fuck Chuck got an email. Yep, Loin Dick 2. At the beer stop and no one there. Back at the bar Furry Spice led us in a circle and then the Sausage Man arrived. Good stuff, but I almost died on that horseradish. Fri, was The First Crack of the Moon Hash Asian New Years hash. Meat Inside her and Stiffy 4 Stiffies cooked and 16 hounds followed a Lifa trail. I was near the front as we ran past the United Center and found a Check. No one went north so I did. After a block i looked back and no one was there. So I ranged east and after a long block I saw Fetus Envy entering a parking lot.Yeah, I'm back. Feather leads the pack out of the parking lot and a loop right back towards me. Boom. I'm running second behind Feather to a quick Split. He went west and I went right and I was on. two short blocks late I was still near the front at a Check on Ashland. Fetus Envy went north. Just Trevor and I crossed the street into a park. He choose north east in the park and I headed east and I was soon ON. Crossing Ogden was a Split and I picked wrong, but loopoing around I found myself running up to Fetus Envy at the next Check. I went south and was wrong. Heard no one calling, but the trail went right back the way I came, but on the wrong side of the street. Damn. So I ran on, alone, through two back checks and eventually crossing the Expressway on Ogden to a Check. Lower Wackoff had marked it with a tiny bit of chalk, but it was a short cut instead of actual trail and his attempt to get me back on true trail failed as I didn't see the sticks he marked it with or they got moved. Anyway, I was suddenly off trail and poor prospects and near the finish so I ran back to the start and got there about five minutes before the pack started to arrive. It is always more fun near the front or in front and I managed for a short bit of trail so, I had fun. Back at the start, we had a circle and then started into some great Asian and Korean food and of course some good beer. And I just made it to the last bus of the night. Sat, was the Bushman Hash set by Horn-E  from Lechowitz Woods with five hounds. I was able to sweep and follow the pack. The woods were covered in a few inches of snow. The goal, the golf course, also had a few inches of snow except where the cross country skiers had made trail that melted faster. Great for the trail. The first section of woods led to a path and a great Back Check and Lower Wackoff who was running last was suddenly first to a Check in the golf Course fairway. He headed off on the correct trail and somehow missed the first mark and the rest were scattered all over the fairway, getting close to the return trail. But we got back on trail and False Advertising led us into the woods and a bridge and the next Check. Lifa and R Tard E went down a road to the NW. No marks, but they kept going. Lower Wackoff found trail to the south and yelled on. Great. And he found the False. So when they returned they headed down that same road, again missing the very obvious true trail. Damn. Then at the fairway they headed south along the east edge while Lifa and R Tard E were on the far opposite edge of another fairway running a False trail from the next Check. Like I say, no marks and Cums On All Bases runs on and eventually finds the On Back trail. Shit. So I head into the woods after them as they get to some melted wet lands and circle around and finally get on trail as designed. From here it was just trail up a steep hill, over a bridge, slippery icy path and woods to the finish. R Tard E was first to the B and Cums On All Bases found the beer. Best beer stop of the year. In the hollow of a huge dead tree. We have pictures of five of us inside of the tree and room for more. And the snow was just getting started and we circled up and had a few beers each before heading out to the On In at the Nil. That tree was like standing inside of a huge chimney with two entrances. I'd been by there, withing fifteen feet, dozens of time and never investigated it. Sun was the Chicago Hash set by Lower Wackoff with some lame assistance from Horn-E from The Booze Hound. Horn-E was supposed to get there at 2pm to help set the beer stop and then wait there along with Bingo for the pack to arrive. But a last minute phone call that I couldn't break away from and just missing three buses and it was 2:30 before I got there. I even tried catching a cab, but with Lyft and Uber, there just aren't many for flagging down on the street and the only one wouldn't pick me up. Anyway, the pack of nine hounds got going. The trail was to show some previous hares in that area, how to run the various abandoned tracks and live tracks and how to set trail on them. But they didn't show, and the pack got split up on some disappearing marks and a long dead end alley and struggled on in two packs before finally finding the Beer Stop between an abandoned factory and some abandoned tracks in the warm sun. SnatchSquatch led the circle, Soul Taco was beer wench and the hares drank a lot. And Slap Dat Ass finally came out of hibernation.
8 Feb 2018. On Thu we had a Thirstday Hash set by the Dark Silent Taco team. Trail was set from Miskas with about nine hounds on trail. Because of snow conditions, a live trail was called for and then they didn't take off until about 7:50. We finally got out on trail a little after 8pm. A half block later was a Check and we struggled on that one. I was out Checking when the trail was found. No On On call, or whistles or horns or marking the Check and they were gone. Meanwhile Horn-E and Children Of The Corn Hole, a visitor, come back to find nothing and they ran on for another mile or so looking for any sign of a mark. Nothing. Finally, back near Miska's, they spotted Silent But Deadly, a hare and she told them were the Beer Stop was in a park. There was another hare, The Dark Kunt and several non runners waiting there. Eventually The lead hare, Soul Taco arrived. She ran out of powder and had to mark the trail with her finger in virgin snow. Some how most of the pack found that part of the trail and finally arrived at the beer stop. Back at Miska's was the usual good Miskas circle and the party ran on. 


10 Feb 2018. On Sat, The Son Of Spam and The Foam Queen laid a
Big Dog Hash trail from Lo Rez brewery. Nice place. Most of the trail was running on clean sidewalks, snow covered side walks, streets and rutted alleys. The pack sort of stayed together as we did a loop of the area and missed a looong False trail. Good. Beer stop was at the bottom of the stairs to Son Of Spams condo and then we went inside for a circle, pizzas, chili and snacks. Good time. 

11 Feb 2018. On Sun was The Chicago Hash set by Feather and Silent But Deadly from his house. We had 8 hounds on trail including one visitor, Finger In My Ass. Trail started down a snow filled gangway and there was some more like that, but mainly just streets and rutted alleys and sidewalks, shoveled and not shoveled. We headed east across the expressway and looping back over the bridge at Augusta. And as I was about to cross the bridge, I passed a little wooded section, virgin snow, trees covered in snow, quiet and peaceful, and all I could see was one of the nicest possible beer stops, but no beer. Actually there was no beer stop. The hares might have had to go out in the cold. Best beer stop?/no beer stop?/stay warm? But we eventually had a good circle with Fetus Envy leading and some good home made soup and fresh baked good bread and a good variety of beers. 

On On Horn-E


Jan 30 2018, We started out the week on Tue with a Blue Moon, Eclipse, Super Moon Chicago Full Moon Hash and only Horn-E could f*ck that up. Cloudy night and the moon only gave us faded images through the clouds at the beer stop on a tropical beach along Sheridan where we were hiding from the sub zero wind chills. And then Horn-E ran out of Dry Wall and had to settle for sheet rock. Similar, but sheet rock is much harder and lays lighter marks. Dry wall is softer and lays good marks. Lifa's GPS and tales of the trail indicated that the trail was run like designed, except when it wasn't. Eight hounds braved the cold night air as we ran from Double Bubble. Lifa was FRB followed closely by FBI Pearl Vision. About five minutes later came Its To Soft and Tell It To My Nipples. And there we stood, drinking beer as quickly as we could before it would freeze, as we watched the gently rolling waves and stomped out feet trying to keep warm. Finally it was decided to wrap it up and as we left we ran into the off trail wandering hound, Fetus Envy. But he wasn't drinking anyway so he just walked back with us. At the bar we found the wimp of the night, Cums On All Bases, warm and cuddly. But where was One Fuck Chuck. He fell back at the Check at Clark and Ridge where there were many possibilities for Falses and he checked them all, but no Falses were laid. Trail ran through the park by the High School. Two checks later, also with only one way out and the trail then came to Ridge again with six Falses laid. And One Fuck Chuck ran on true trail but missed the third arrow, with sheet rock (bad) under a lamp post (good) on bad asphalt (bad) and went back to check out all of the other Falses before giving up and running to the hares house hoping to find beer. (Bad). He returned and finally found that check and got to the beer stop after we left. And as for Lower Wackoff. He's like the energizer bunny on weak batteries. That is, he runs slow like the hare, but he just keeps going no matter what until he finds his way to the finish. Also after we left. Short circle as three hounds weren't drinking. But the hare got his share. Damn hare.

Jan 31, 2018,Wed was the Whiskey Wednesday fourth Anniversary Hash, and set by Lifa from Twisted Spoke. I arrived 3 minutes after they left and took off to never see a single hasher. At the first Check I spent over ten minutes before finding true trail. After here, everything was marked well and I followed south of the tracks and east and eventually heading towards Grand and Halsted, over the expressway. At this point, I'm so far behind I decided to play it smart and range towards a bridge back over the expressway and pick up trail there. I never found it and missed the shot stop, but I was so far behind I would have missed it anyway. I went back to the bar where I found three House Puppies drinking beer and joined them. Eight hounds on trail including myself who wasn't often on trail. Damn.

Feb 1, 2018. Thu, was a Thirstday Hash set by Gay Dancer for his birthday and set from Celtic Crown. What a f*ck up. Well, sort of. Almost no one showed up. He had as few friends as Horn-E at his birthday hash. WTF. Four hounds. But all four hounds did a great job running trail. Well, they had to because they all ran 100% of the trail alone and found the beer stop. Silent But Deadly walked out the door and immediately took off north towards the T and E Split. Horn-E was the only other hound at the start and he took off heading for the T part of the trail. One Check and three or four Splits, but the trail was just straight East on Montrose until it turned south for a block to a beer stop in a kiddie play ground. And he was FRB. WTF. And there he stood with the hare drinking good beer for about ten minutes before Silent But Deadly finally found the B. As usual, still full of energy, but not dressed for the cold. She was so cold her nipples were hard enough to cut glass, She didn't want to stand around in the cold drinking beer and when she found out she was only half way, she quit and asked for directions back to the bar and was off. And just as she left, she ran passed Its Too Soft. Where did he come from? But he saw Roofie Ragu near the start and found out we were already running and he took off on the T trail and found all of the Checks and Splits like Horn-E and he was thirsty, and dressed for the cold. He looked like he could have found the North Pole in all of that clothes. A short time later Roofie Ragu arrived. He did the Eagle and also didn't want to drink beer. Finding there was still another half of trail he took off and got back to the bar just after we did. We got beer and held a low key circle before they headed for tacos and I had to head back to the B. Dummy me, I left my horn there. I wasn't worried about finding it. It isn't as if there would be a bunch of kids in the playground in the dark with below zero wind chills. Yep, it was there.  

Feb 3, 2018. Sat was
a Second City Hash at the home of Cums On All Bases. in  Palantine. I couldn't make it, but heard they had seven hounds, a pick up at Metra for Lower Wackoff, and hamburgers after the trail. Seven hounds were on trail and Zone 2 actually was leading trail for awhile before Stiffy 4 Stiffies found trail. Where was False Advertising? Off trail again. They also had a returning Second City Hasher who hasn't been seen in quite awhile, Buffalo Nuts.

Feb 4, 2018. Sun, was The Chicago Hash's anal Super Bowl Hash set from the Trojan Temple of W Jew 40 and Little Trojan Annie. Hares were Gay Dancer when they finally got his head out of the chunder bucket and Sandy Syphillis. I didn't run but hear 20 on trail for long straights and auto hashing and some games in the snow. Back to the Trojan Temple there were well over 20 hounds for a circle run by Fetus Envy followed by grub and football.


A short Tale of the Trail for a long hard trail
The Chicago Hash June 30, 2014 by Horn-E
.....It rained at hash start time and there was no trail from Roses and SnatchSquatch was just sitting there. It rained harder as tornadoes swept into Illinois. It rained on and on and the hare just sat there. Finally the hare took off with a ten minute head start into rain. Not a down pour anymore, but not a drizzle. And the pack was 15 hardy water hounds. Well make that 14 hardy water hounds and one old near dead water hound (Horn-E) that was wrapped up in rain gear. The trail went into an alley and came to a Check right away. Dr Cockvorkian went right, wrong. Somebody went straight and into an alley and a pack of fools followed on only two marks. Dumb hounds. Trail went left and west and soon another Check. Horse Fly (from Houston) was a block north and off. Damn., Trail went into an alley, turned right and at the next street it turned left and into a park where the hare was waiting with a cooler of beer. Roofie Ragu was the first and we all know who was last. Damn old hound. So there we stood in a playlot. The rain was almost over. Beautiful lightening strikes over the loop to entertain us. So there we stood under trees waiting for the next lightening strike. No one said hound were smart. But
One Fuck Chuck got smarter and led a bunch of hounds out from the trees into the playlot. Now that was reeaally smart. Metal fence and metal structures everywhere. That will never attract lightening. And then the playlot sprinkler system turned on. Yeah, the park district is watering the playlot in a storm. But at least it fascinated Hoosier Daddy and Soul Taco. We soon finished the beer and headed back to the bar. About three looong blocks back which was just about as loooong as the on out trail. Taste the Rainbow led a circle and and one house puppy arrived, Its Too Soft. The other brave hounds who ventured out into the raging storm included Drill In My Box, Ginger Snatch, Epi Penis, One Fuck Chuck, Ice Princess, Just Taylor, Just Mike, Just Slobhan and Just Laura. And then the rains returned with more tornadoes and we were stuck in the bar watching cars floating down the street until it finally slacked down. Couldn't even get a cab, but the gondolas were out in force. With sails. x
The Tale of the Trail
The Thursday Hash, 3 April 2014 by Horn-E
.....This was a Rhotan Trail out of Ravens and rain was expected. It never came. So we had a trail with flour and some nasty tricks. We started right across the street and into an alley the pack ran. It is a dead end. That left that slow old fart Horn-E in the lead as trail actually went south on Clark. But at the first street, another missed mark and trail was found to the east. Now it was back and forth for a bit. We ran one block and then north to Fullerton where the trail went right back south on the other side of the street. And he caught everyone. Back east to the alley and then south and finally into Lincoln Park. And back north right away. I followed Hoosier Daddy on a short cut and we rejoined the pack at the Shakesphere Statue. Now here the pack got screwed again. There was some sort of Split just across the street and Lifa found it. One trail went around the park and the other into a few trees next to the observatory and back out to the path heading north. I followed a few front runners and we were off. We crossed Fullerton and headed south in the park, west of the lagoon. I was just getting to a Check at the Gazebo when trail was found to the north and over the hill. A I ran along, following the pack of FRBs way ahead, the missing back of the pack started to arrive. We ran along the jogging path and at the turn at the north end, I could see a gathering in a playground. Beer Stop? I ran on and Hoosier Daddy and the new to Chicago Hasher,Rolo (new to Chicago from Toledo Mud Hens H3) raced past me to beat me through the gate. And there was beer. Many varieties. And all was good. But finally we had to head back. Trail went back along the lakefront and only four managed to head that way, Feather, Lifa, Dr. Cockvorcian and Little Trojan Annie. Damn show offs. As slow as I was running, I wasn't going to try to keep up with them. I walked back with the rest of the pack. 
.....The pack was eventually called together in a circle by the Dark Kunt. Many down downs were given to our hare. Rhotan. And he deserved them all. We also had several returnees. Tinkle Trotskie and the Hasher Of A Thousand Names, whatever he is using now, visited from Portland. And all old favorite, surprised me as I was getting pop corn and I almost spilled it all, Corn Star showed up after the run. Welcome back and come back often. Foamy Discharge was also a House Puppy this night. And the rest of the trail hounds included Hooch B4 Cooch, O'Shitty Runch, Menstrual Casserole, One Fuck Chuck, W Jew 40, and Its Too Soft.
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The Tale of the Trail
The Second City Hash, 6 April 2014 by Horn-E
.....We ran this out of Just Dan's House, not a hasher, but a friend of Crotch Fire a hare along with False Advertising. And there was a large turnout of one house puppy, Dickens Cider who can't walk much right now and stayed behind at the fire with Just Dan. We had Bloody Thighs who just planned to walk as she is also in recovery. Partial joggers included virgins Just Katy and Just Danny And we also had Sugar Nuts and Zone 2. Then there was Specklebird who jogged and walked with Spawn Of Speckie. As we speed up, there was The KGB traveling with Just Allie in a stroller and walking a lot and Son Of Spam who fell back with The KGB. Now I didn't see much of then on trail, but they all beat me to the beer stop. And then they walked along with False Advertising who quit sweeping after the beer stop and just walked a short course back with the walkers. 
.....Then there were those that actually tried to run the course and left me behind. The real trail hounds and one old mutt, Horn-E. We took off to the east on Randolph and then Washington and across Ridgeland for a block and a Check. This seemed to take forever as no one was finding anything. I found myself ranging south to Madison when trail was found in an alley. I followed east until the leaders came out in front of me and a Check on Madison and Taylor. Various hashers were scattered when Snotcho Mama found trail to the south. I followed Lifa with Chippendale on the other side of the street. After one block, Lifa picked up trail to the east on Adams and eventually to a Check. Again we scattered. I finally found one, then two marks to the east and Lifa was already way out there. He found another mark, a Triple Split at Austin. Lifa went south and eventually was on going west on Adams along Columbus Park. Meanwhile I was almost a block north and I paralleled for two blocks before heading south and joining the pack in pursuit. From here I'm not sure who was where, but there was a bunch of FRBs in the distance and out of sight. I tried to keep Just Do Me Slowly in sight, eventually joining her as we went over some water and around some small wooded section.The KGB, pushing Just Allie and Son Of Spam were still in sight behind us. We ran on and eventually we were alone as we ran around the east end of the park and to the south end. We now head south on Central going under the Expressway and emerging at the south end on the east side of the street and at the top of some stairs. Here is an arrow and the last arrow, pointing west. We cross over the street and enter an industrial area and seeing no more marks, I yell to Just Do Me Slowly that I'll go back and see if we missed some marks going around the buildings. As I step out of sight, Just Do Me Slowly sees the head of the pack, drinking beer at an unmarked beer stop. Huh. Meanwhile I run on trying to go around the buildings and pick up Just Do Me Slowly at the far end. Not happening. Nothing but fences. After three blocks I loop back, crossing Central to check that out and finally coming back to that last arrow. It is still straight, but there was nothing ahead. So I run on again checking that area and this time I go far enough to see what Just Do Me Slowly saw, now the whole pack including the walkers. Damn.  
.....So after a beer, we head west along some tracks and past a bunch of bee hives. I'm talking 30 or 40. Probably a winter storage area until planting season. Anyhow, we go around on a wide loop and climb back up on an old pallet and head west. I'm with Chippendale, Lifa and Snotcho Mama as we go south and find a Split heading west and a Check at an alley. Well, typical of the marks of the day, often hard to find, Hooch B4 Cooch is also here and he is south in an alley. He doesn't return. But we are all scattered, looking for marks and no one is yelling on. Apparently Hooch B4 Cooch was On. I range to Austin when I see Lifa, a block further west, heading south towards Roosevelt. I head that way and see Snotcho Mama coming out of an alley. He was On and now not On. He missed something. Eventually Berts Special Friend was then coming down the alley and he found the missing arrow that led to trail going a block south of Roosevelt and then west.Snotcho Mama and I followed to the south and in the distance we could see Berts Special Friend and Lifa far ahead. Trail finally headed north again and we could see the leaders, about two long blocks ahead, going west. When we got there, it was a Split, but the trail didn't go west. Damn. Now here is where we really needed the sweep. But he was busy being not busy and walking along with the walkers and not sweeping the trail. So we were on our own. But we are hashers. We'll find it. Eventually. Won't we? So Snotcho Mama returns and heads south and finds the trail and a Check a block later. I am paralleling him. We are now at a little park and he comes my way and two blocks further. Not On. So I head south around the little park, on the east side of the street. Unfortunately we found the trail was on the west side of the street after six more blocks of running a large circle around the park. Actually trail went into this little park and up a big sledding hill. The third mark was hidden under some leaves. At the top of the hill was an arrow pointing down to the north west. But where. Certainly not in the grass anywhere we could see and I already ran that sidewalk. Finally I cross the street and there is the trail. Damn. Now where was that sweep? From here it was fairly easy trail sort of left, right, left, right. Of course there was that arrow marked as on and then crossed out. What did that mean. And then there was a time Snotcho Mama was heading north, definitely on, gets to a corner and no marks. Must be straight ahead. Right? Wrong. As he looks around for the trailing Horn-E, he luckily spots a mark on the other side of the street going west. Huh. Any way, we run on and eventually back to the back yard and again, the whole pack including walkers. Damn. Well, you know who is getting DFL. 
.....Lifa led the circle and we had a nice little circle singing one long song and such. The hares got many a deserved down down and so did Horn-E for trying to hard to follow trail. I mean coming in last, twice. After the circle, Crotch Fire brought out a roasted turkey and I walked away with a big leg to gnaw on like a starving dog. Food was good, good home brew, good bottles and cans and Just Dan kept the fire going while burning off old Christmas trees and scrap lumber. I finally left for home with a grateful ride from Snotcho Mama. 
On On
Horn-E


 The Tale of the Trail
The First Crack of the Moon Hash, 1 April 2014 by Horn-E
.....Our hares were Snotcho Mama and Just Genna and we ran out of and around the Cork. We had twelve trail hounds with two of them, Just Tim and Just Brit, virgins. Trail headed straight west and at the first block was a Triple Split. For some reason a bunch of the hounds headed south, but Horn-E knew the trail went west because he got off the bus at Damen and a Check and trail right to there. But it is April Fools Day and who can trust a hare even under normal conditions. So Horn-E just headed straight and to the Check. Going north was False so he headed west and was on a block later. Trail then went north and after a long block there was a Back Check. Damn hares. And no one is behind Horn-E. On the way back looking for the Back Check he finally ran into Just Do Me Slowly, Just Brit and the hares. Trail went west at the alley and again north after one block. And Horn-E is still running alone. A block north was a Triple Split and Horn-E ran west for a block. And there was another Triple Split, but coming from the south. Obviously missing a loop, Horn-E heads north but didn't see any marks. Heading back, he finally sees Dr. Cockvorcian returning from the west part of the Triple split. Welcome back to the hash. But he also had nothing. So we traded trails and searched again and he was On to the north and it went all the way to Irving Park, leaving Horn-E paralleling and still alone. Anyhow, Dr. Cockvorcian found a Check at Irving Park. He checked north and found nothing. Horn-E was already to the west and not On. So we returned and Horn-E headed east on the north side of the street and almost a long block later he found a mark in a parking lot. We were soon on and heading west in the alley. A little confusion along the way but we ended up at another Check to the north west. Lifa and Horn-E went west and found nothing. Berts Special Friend found trail in a hospital zone and led the pack to the south west. Horn-E saw the direction they went and headed south to a Check at Western and Irving Park. He and Berts Special Friend headed west. A big park in that direction. Had to be. Not. Trail was east a block and then south. But the pack finally converged on a section the sweep, Just Genna told us was now a live trail. But Snotcho Mama was back already. Trail, being live, went back over old marks to Addison and straight east to the bar, past many Triple Splits and all the way past the bar and into the alley and a beer stop. Damn hares. But we finally had beer. Well, sort of. A shade better then O'Douls. And a lot more potent. Olde English 800 16s. Damn hares. Now that is just cruel. But soon Lifa showed up with a keg of Langunitas IPA. Now that was better. 
.....Finally we went back to the bar and $7 large pitchers. Horn-E got the beer flowing and the Moon Hash circle started and everyone was soon into various charges and penalties for the hares. We formally met our Virgins, Just Brit and Just Tim, and it took Lifa three tries to give them a proper demonstration. Eventually all circles must end and the last two hounds out were Hooch B4 Cooch and Horn-E. Other hounds on trail were Son Of Spam, Lower Wackoff, Meat Insider and the return of Caught Red Headed
On On
Horn-E


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The Tale of the Trail
The Whiskey Hash, 26 Mar, 2014 by Horn-E
.....This was set by Hooch B4 Cooch and Rump Springa from Rocks in Lincoln Park. We had 10 Trail Hounds as we took off to the east. We did the usual array of streets as Horn-E fell behind as usual. But I could barely keep the pack in sight until shit started to happen. We headed east to another Check and the sweep was standing on the Check a block west of Halsted on Webster. A yell was heard into an alley and Hooch B4 Coochcalled it just as I arrived. At the alley the pack was disappearing at the other end of the alley and trail went into the De Paul Campus. They did a little loop and I was just catching up as they headed out to Fullerton and east to Halsted, Lincoln. Now here things got really screwed up. As I arrived, Snotcho Mama was saying something about them being On to the south and there were several hounds running south. So I never saw the Check. Ooops. At the alley was a Split and Son Of Spam and The KGB were down the alley. Berts Special Friend andMeat Insider and others were just south on Halsted. I ran the alley and found nothing. At Dickens no one seemed ON. Well, just west was old trail, so it had to be south. Son Of Spam and Horn-E headed south to Oz Park. That was all that was left. And Son Of Spam searched the park while Horn-E went back to Halsted. No marks were found. We headed north to find where the pack disappeared. No marks. We again searched the alley. Nothing. Damn. So we returned. And there at the corner of Lincoln and Halsted we saw the Check, that I never saw as Snotcho Mama was marking a south arrow. And that arrow was now marked out and another arrow added going west.
..... Lesson: While we in back appreciate people marking Checks and Splits on many trails as they are solved, when there is a sweep, it is his job. Let him do it. Also, for everyone, the idea is to call out what is happening, like Checking, Split, etc so the newly arriving hounds no what is happening. Whistles and horns are nice, especially in a noisy city, but please yell also, so we know, even if you are just ON ON. 
.....So Son Of Spam and Horn-E followed the trail, now marked by the sweep and we eventually went just west of Halsted and north of Diversey as we headed to a roof top finish and Whiskey stop. 
.....Here Berts Special Friend led a mini circle before we headed back to the bar. At the bar we settled into some tables, ate food, drank a little whiskey and a little bit of beer and then headed home. Other hounds on trail included Glory Hole, Crotch Fire, Just Sean, and our visitor from Seattle, Stink In The Pink.
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The Tale of the Trail
The Thirstday Hash 27 Mar 2014 by Horn-E
.....This was set by, Helen Keller Facial, Rump Springa and Hooch B4 Cooch out of Big Joes. Rain happened and might again, so Helen Keller Facial and Hooch B4 Cooch laid a live trail while Rump Springa went to the beer stop. We headed north and west with a pack of fifteen trail hounds. About two blocks later we stalled at a Check before it was found down an alley heading west. Now I'm not exactly last, yet, but I sensed a short cut over to Foster with this huge park at a school to the south. But no one is in sight. Finally, two blocks west I see the usual FRBs, Roofie Ragu, Dr Cockvorcian, Taste The Rainbow, Feather, etc. heading south across Foster and into the park. I was at another entrance and so I paralleled the leaders as they ran through the park. By the time I got to the far south end of the park, I was now paralleling the back of the pack as they were a street to the west of me. A block later I see Dr Cockvorcian coming my way yelling Check or maybe he was only checking his drawers or something. Anyhow, I crossed the street and there was an arrow and then another and I'm ON. Yes, me. And I'm ahead of the FRBs. We run to Damen and a Check. First there, first choice and I picked east, across Damen. At the alley I get a Split. I pick the arrow into the alley and was almost all the way to the end before I spotted a mark of flour on a pole. I hadn't been looking there. I looked back and no one is there. Finally I spot Dr Cockvorkian and I blow my horn and take off. Trail headed further west in the alley for another block and several Splits and I'm still ahead and heading over to Lawrence. East on Lawrence and I'm really tiring now but when you are ahead, you try to keep going as well and as fast and as far as you can. I finally hit an entrance to a parking lot where there was a little loop and Feather and Dr. Cockvorcian finally passed me. Relief. I can walk a little and the main body of the pack is soon passing me. Two blocks later is a Split into an alley. The mark going straight looked more like just some wind blown flour and everyone was heading into the alley. Meanwhile Snotcho Mama is returning to that mark saying something about a mark on the corner. It must be a loop. No. That is the correct way and those in the alley are wrong. Ooops. He did get called out for that in the circle. Anyway, by the time I got out of the alley, the whole pack had now passed me. Damn. From first to last in less then two blocks. So I follow Mudsucker and soon he was out of sight. I was really winded now, but there was a BN. So I followed on as the trail went north, east to Ashland, North to Foster and then back east. Are we going to the usual tunnel under the tracks about two blocks north. Naturally and there was the whole pack including some house puppies. 
.....Back at the bar, The Dark Kunt called the pack into a circle after the beer started flowing. Drill In My Box poured beer like the cute little beer wench she is. Feather was beaten constantly in circle with a spatula. I was waiting for the RA to flip him over and start beating him on the other side. The hares got many. Down downs that is. no beatings. We had several House Puppies, Hoosier Daddy who was too busy having a chit chat with President, Jimmy Carter, to hash with us. Glory Hole just showed up late. O'Shitty Runch showed up late after running over a civilian in the rain on his bicycle. O'Shitty Runch was on the bicycle that is and the civilian was running for shelter in the rain. And Mount Schwiiinga arrived just in time to present Horn-E with a horn she found in the twin cities at a hash. Thanks. After the circle we finally had a naming for Just Steff. Honey, you will be forever known as Menstural (sp) Caserole. (sp) I'm sure someone will correct me. After that a cake was brought out for the birthday boys and then we drank on into the night. Trail Hounds also on trail included Bi Holer, W Jew 40, Little Trojan Annie, and one more time, our visitor from Seattle, Stink In The Pink
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The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash, 30 Mar 2014 by Horn-E
.....This was set out of Streeters by Just Eh and That Thing That Vibrates. He swept the trail and she escorted a litter of house puppies including Rhotan, and old Lab, Drill In My Box, a chihuahua, Back Door County, a standard poodle, Menstuarl Caserol an Irish Setter, Vincent Van Ho a visiting Afgan Hound from Portland, and three little virgin puppy schnuddles, Just Sarah, Just Katy and Just Dani. While I'm on the House Puppys, Ice Princess a Pit Bull and our GM, Soul Taco, a Rottweiler showed up after the hash. 
.....Anyhow, back to our hares. Just Eh did a Eh so so job of sweeping. Kidding. a good job. A That Thing That Vibrates did a great job of walking that bunch of House Puppys to a shot stop along the Chicago River where she had a treat for all of the Trail Hounds. Then she walked them north to a little park along Franklin where there was a beer stop. But all of those puppys were getting tired, especially that little Chihuahua, and they arrived late with the refreshments for the Trail Hounds who were waiting with their tongues hanging out. 
.....But lets get to the trail for those trail hounds. There was fourteen of them off on trail and the usual array of fast runners. Like Lifa, who barely beat Mudsucker to the shot stop. All right, he got drunk last night and ran a race this morning and then drank at beer in the box. But lets talk trail. After circle we were pointed across the street to the south and west. But TampOn TampOff ran straight west and a bunch followed. I ran across the street and didn't see a mark so I sort of followed and Roofie Ragu crossed the street and ran ahead of me. But no marks. So I back tracked and followed Snotcho Mama as we headed south and there was a small pack ahead of us with Just Eh. Two blocks later was a Check. To the west was TampOn TampOff and Roofie Raguand I signaled to them that we were at a Check. They had nothing. so I headed west and found nothing. As I was returning I heard an ON ON call from Mudsucker. He was On to the south on Rush. I blew the horn and followed and soon the FRBs were passing us. Two blocks later we turned west and up some stairs to Wabash and south. As I went along R-Tard-E was running with me and suddenly the pack returned from a Back Check and went down some stairs to Hubbard. At State St they headed south and as I and Mudsucker got to Kinsie, the pack was returning again. Dr Cockvorcian found marks on the upper level and headed towards Michigan through the Wrigley Building complex. I ran below contemplating a turn to Lower Level Michigan. Not. Snotcho Mama was following me and as we got to Wrigley Plaza we ran into Smell Like Twat Sweat who let us know we were at a Check and it wasn't to the south. Big mistake on her part. It was and the hare had to finally point us on the way. Meanwhile we were scattered all over. Dr Cockvorcian to the east, just as Roofie Ragu returns from the east. We checked to the north and nothing. I went west. Nothing. Finally returning, we were pointed ON and Jizzyalmost ran me down on the crowded bridge. We gathered at the Wacker light and on green we ran south to a Check at South Water. TampOn TampOff was to the east and I yelled we had a Check. But someone had already found trail to the west and he was soon passing me. At Wabash we ran south for two blocks. Just before Washington I saw the leaders heading west so I did an alley with R-Tard-E right behind me. And we get to State St. Just as Glory Hole is running by, On from a Split. This has us heading west on Wacker and Glory Holefinds a Check at Dearborn. I cross heading north and TampOn TampOff is already heading north on the other side of the street. He finds trail and I cross the street and blow the horn for the following hounds. Jizzy passes me and misses a turn to the west on Kinzie. Meanwhile Dr Cockvorcian and Horn-E follow TampOn TampOff. At the next corner we have a Split. But Glory Hole joins us and I follow him west and we are ON. This runs straight west to Orleans and SSN. And Horn-E might have been near the front, but the usual FRBs are soon passing him. He can't even keep up with the bimbos. Well we all knew that. No, I mean running. And Smell Like Twat Sweat goes flying right on by. And she was the only bimbo on trail. Where are all the bimbos? It was finally warm and they can come out of hibernation in their nice tight shorts and tops. Yeah!! Come on out. I digress. We hit Orleans and we head south to a shot stop at the river. Well, at least Horn-E wasn't last this time, as Its Too Soft, Just Dan, R-Tard-E, Dick Hermonica, Epi Penis, R-Tard-E all followed with Mudsucker and LIfa coming in last. But I'm glad that Mudsucker followed way back. I lost my shirt along trail and he found it. Thanks. And I got it back in circle with the usual down down.  
.....After the shot Stop the Trail Hounds took off to the west and over the Chicago River. Checking there had us going north and then back across the river several blocks north. Now Horn-E is back where he belongs, picking up the rear. Just can't get going after these damn shot stops. But I run on and finally north on Franklin as I pass the House Puppys at Chicago Ave. A block later the Trail Hounds are sitting around in a dog park waiting for refreshments. Cold beer. 
.....Back at the bar we finally collected Hash Cash thanks to Glory Hole getting it started. Check that money and make sure none of it fell into a Glory Hole. Finally we had enough and we were drinking beer. Lifa called the circle together and many down downs were given to all. We met our virgins and our visitors showed why we will always welcome her back. Nice girly bits. After circle we drank on until the last of the pack finally left. Those two old hounds, Horn-E and Rhotan outlasted all of the young pups.  
On ON
Horn-E


The Tale of the Trail
The Thirstday Hash, 20 Mar, 2014 by Horn-E
.....A new hash bar, The Bar Below and we had Snotcho Mama and Son Of Spam haring. We had 18 trail hounds on this trail as we headed west through the loop. Snotcho Mama was sweeping and did a decent job that allowed this old fart to keep the pack in sight until we turned back east. Hey, I made it half way. Anyhow the trail was mostly straight east occasionally going a block south. We finally got to Adams at Union Station. I thought I was dead last, but a block south and I caught up again. We ran on to Van Buren and then west to Canal where there was a Split. And apparently a bunch of hounds were a block west and not on trail. The sweep hinted and that old fart Horn-E found a hidden mark to the south. Blowing the horn, he was in front of a bunch of hounds. But after a tunnel under the Expressway, I was back in back. We headed east and I saw Hooch B4 Cooch crossing the street to the south. With no traffic I crossed also. Big mistake. Trail didn't go this way and now being out of sight, I had to backtrack as the trail again went down under the Expressway. Here we had to climb a fence and cross a grassy hill. Yes, a grassy hill downtown. More zig zag as trail went south and into the La Salle Street Station, and out the other side. Up and down and I'm just far enough behind to not catch a short cut. Trail goes west on Harrison and further and over to State Street. Now we go north and with a series of alleys and streets we almost go into Grant Park and back into alleys and finally we loop back towards the bar and there is an arrow into a doorway of a garage and a note to go to 12. And there was the pack at a beer stop. Nice spot. And thanks to Foamy Discharge, who arrived late and tried to catch the pack and didn't, I wasn't DFL. 
.....Back at the bar we had a back room and One Fuck Chuck led the circle. And the beer was Lite bottles in huge buckets. The hares drank often for that trail. Others on trail included Bi Holer, Dr. Cockvorkian, O'Shitty Runch, Crotch Fire, Roofie Ragu, Feather, SnatchSquatch, Berts Special Friend, Puzzled In The Sack, My Hard Will Go On, Meat Insider, Little Trojan Annie, Drill In My Box and The Dark Kunt. We had Crouching Tiger Hidden Jacob and Sugar Nuts for House Puppies. 
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The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash, 23 Mar, 2014 by Horn-E
.....Another part of the birthday tour of Hooch B4 Cooch and Rump Springa out of Carol's. And this one had some surprised thanks to Rump Springa inventing more beer stops. Apparently the first two were T and E splits where the E might lead to beer. Huh. Trail started north in an alley and we eventually had 16 Trail Hounds including one walker, a visitor, Bringing Up The Rear. Okay. So she hung back with Hooch B4 Cooch and apparently immediately fell. Boom, bang, no hope of running. Meanwhile the pack is running east on Lawrence then south at a Split. Now that was fun. As I got to the Split, I could see TampOn TampOff to the east and not on. Feather was a long block south and now returning on the other side of the street. We finally get a call to the east and it isn't TampOn TampOff. Somehow he missed a turn alley into the first alley. Why would that happen? Oh, yeah. Trail laid the day before and a bit of snow overnight. Hmmm. Meanwhile we headed south and I'm in the alley with the back of the pack, Just Tina and Zone 2. We come out one long block south and finally Feather catches up having run that distance three times. We're now heading east and then south again. Coming out at Wilson we head to the college area at another Split. And a block later I think there was a Back Check and suddenly a bunch of hounds were following Dr Cockvorkian to the east and under the tracks. We finally came to another Split under the tracks that led to a Check at Broadway. We weren't getting anywhere. Horn-E finally went south past Target and found a third arrow, a Triple Split at Montrose. And as he is about to start south, there are Dr. Cockvorkian and Feather. Where did they come from. Anyhow, south is False. So Horn-E goes west and it is a False. By the time he returns, he is dead last again with Snotcho Mama and the hare sweep. We eventually head south and east to Sheridan and back west towards Broadway. Here we spot a T and E Split. We're behind so we opt for the T so we can catch up. At the corner we find a Check and False Advertising returning from a False. Now is that a real False or false advertising from False Advertising. So Horn-E heads south and is eventually on and it leads to a Split at Irving Park. He goes right, wrong and the other two arrive and go left, right. This is a short loop and we are soon heading west a block south of Irving Park. This leads to a series of Splits, with true trail going west. At the cemetery we have another Split. Snotcho Mama finds trail turning west at Irving Park. Now this is a solid RED CHALK TURN, just like the marks the hares used. But they claimed they didn't do it. It had to be old marks by Snotcho Mama. But he didn't run trail there and it was fresh. Hmmm. Anyway, we are about to head west when the rest of the pack arrives, led by TampOn TampOff. That is when we find out that the previous T and E Split led to beer and we were leading. Anyhow, we run on to Clark and no marks. Finally Roofie Ragu goes further west and finds marks and we are On to a Check a block later. Meanwhile, the back of the pack arrived at that Split at the cemetery with the hare sweep and he points them south where they eventually went to a beer stop. WTF. We eventually solve that Check and head on a few blocks north to a B in a little park. The real beer stop. About fifteen minutes later Hooch B4 Cooch arrives with those missing hashers from beer stop number 2. Another five minutes later Rump Springa and Crouching Tiger Hidden Jacob arrive with the B-E-E-R. From here it was about a mile walk back and after waiting so long for beer, no one was ready to run back.
.....At the bar we found several House Puppys including Soul Taco, Hoosier Daddy, and eventually Dick Hermonica, Smells Like Twat Sweat, Sugar Nuts and Foamy Discharge. Dr. Cockvorkian was volunteered to be the R A. First time and not to bad. All right, not to good. Whatever. We did meet our visitors, Bring Up The Rear and Asscott To Mouth. After circle we hung until the beer money ran out, then about ten hashers went to a Mexican Carry Out and another dive bar to finish off the night. 
On On
Horn-E


The Tale of the Trail
The Thirstday Hash, 13 Mar 2014 by Horn-E 
.....Frequent Flyer, Snotcho Mama and Just Bill set trail out of Durkins. Just Bill was a virgin and therefore a virgin hare. He is from Nittany Valley and will start hashing out there. A pack of 16 total, with the late comers, headed east and south at the second Check the pack was just disappearing as Son Of Spam and Horn-E arrived. We headed behind a school and into a slippery, ice covered alley with a Split at the end. We went east to Clark and missed a tiny arrow along the way, squeezed between patches of snow. But at Clark, we didn't see an arrow. We crossed Clark and went through McDonalds. Nothing. Returning to Clark we split up and Son Of Span finally found an arrow heading north. Well, by now we are way behind the pack. Trail went into a westerly loop and back to Clark at Diversey and the usual check. Son Of Spam went east towards the park and found nothing. Well, not nothing. He found Rump Springa. Meanwhile Horn-E found trail to the north. The three of us zigged and zagged between Broadway and Clark and finally a Check at Halsted. We finally found a mark coming out of an alley and heading west on Briar. Another Check at Sheffield split us up as Horn-E finally found trail to the south and blew the Horn for the other two. Two blocks south and the trail looped back east and a block later we found the pack in a playground with a keg of beer. Suddenly Berts Special Friend came in DFL. He showed up late and somehow found the trail without sweep marks. Why can't he find trail when he runs with the pack? 
.....Back at the bar, the beer started to flow in the back room and Lifa ran the circle. We did have one visitor from the Hog Town Hash, Half Wit. Welcome to Chicago. There were several House Puppies, in Helen Keller Facial, Sugar Nuts, Just Steff, and Crouching Tiger Hidden Jacob. There was a long list of Trail Hounds also on trail even if I didn't see them on trail. They included Poultry Fucker, Epi Penis, Foamy discharge, W Jew 40 (Glad to see you running again), O'Shitty Runch, Just Preston, Its Too Soft, Roofie Ragu, Drill In My Box, One Fuck Chuck, and Dr. Cockvorkian.  
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The Tale of the Trail
The Bushman Hash, 15 Mar 2104
.....Overnight I got an email from Lower Wackoff. He couldn't make the hash or On IN, but asked if he could set a beer stop for us. He would provide the beer and meet us at the shelter in Edgebrook Woods. He's a Bushman Hasher and bothered to ask. We don't normally do this at the Bushman Hash because we finish in the woods and circle there. But we could do this one time and trail was going to go that way anyhow. 
.....Trail was set out of Lechowicz Woods by Horn-E. The rat bastard. Before starting, Meat Insider was running around looking for some hand Lotion. What? This is the Bushman Hash. So off we went with trail going down the ice covered sledding hill. There was a Check at the bottom and the hare already had to point things out to the pack.Son Of Spam and Or G went straight and managed to find trail skipping a big loop along the river. Meanwhile Lifa found it and called On On. And he found a Split from two months ago, finally coming out of the melting snow. Meat Insider and Berts Special Friend followed Lifa and they did a nice loop along the river. Meanwhile the other two are heading east, up a hill and around a field of tall prairie grasses and another Check. Or G found that and ran on and was just out of sight when Lifa managed to climb the hill to the prairie grasses. He leads the back pack and right onto trail at the check. Meanwhile Gas Stop Bob and Horn-E tried a short cut and almost found themselves in deep water.There was soon another Check at the drop shaft for deep tunnel. And Or G and Son Of Spam were still working that Check. The pack is back together. After a hint from the hare, Or G finally got on the trail along a fence and heading to a railroad track crossing. And the pack emerged through the woods and followed. This led to the dirt bike hills and another Check. Somehow Meat Insider ended up leading the pack out of there and to the railroad trestle where Gas Stop Bob and Horn-E were waiting. She kept leading across the tracks and finally to a turn down the embankment and across some narrow water. She just showed up the guys by butt sliding down the hill and running on. Berts Special Friend and Son Of Span followed. Or G did a wider loop and Lifa even farthur around the water. But back to our FRB. She came up to a big gate into the golf course, locked with a chain. But she slipped her tiny body on through and was off across the golf course following marks and footprints. Berts Special Friend squeezed through the fence and followed. Next was Or G and just as he got through, Meat Insider yelled Back Check. Those old bastards, Horn-E and Gas Stop Bob are watching and laughing.Lifa meanwhile finds the Back Check and leads the pack north along the tracks, as the rest of the pack squeezes back through that gate. A short time later they were back into the woods for a real nasty Check. The real trail actually looped around trail already run and off to a Back Check. But in the woods, it is easy to lose track of where you are and after the Back Check the trail went right past a False from the Check. Makes sense. NO. But they were running around and eventually found the trail out and across the tracks and into Edgebrook woods.
..... And there was Lower Wackoff waiting with some attempts at Black and Tans and other beers. Berts Special Friend and Meat Insider were off tackling Son Of Spam in the wet snow and rolling around. They finally came to the beer and all was good. Almost. Berts Special Friend was covered in burrs. Yes, in the snow. These burrs poke through his pants and were pricking his skin underneath and well into his crotch were the little pricks were pricking his prick. So he is trying to drink and plucking little pricks from his little prick. Finally Meat Insider came to help and there she is, bent over into his crotch plucking little pricks from his little prick. Meanwhile the rest of us are just listening to Lifa sing us another long song about being 'As drunk as I could be'. Lower Wackoff finally told us why he wanted to set this beer stop for us. He was turning 60. Couldn't stay long as he has another party to go off to, but wanted to spend a little time on this momentous day with some good friends. Thanks for taking a break from your other party and joining us for a little while. Good luck.
.....And back into the winds we went. Gas Stop Bob and Horn-E went over to Central and crossed the bridge to watch the pack in the woods and wait for them at the beer stop. The pack went across Central and into woods on what was a wet, and then snowy loop in that section of woods. Finally coming back along the river until a bend in the river and there was flour pointing across the cold swollen river. Horn-E is a rat bastard. And on the other side is a Check. So the pack followed the rivers edge only to find the river had overflowed the bank and they would have to loop back around this section of water and then head east to the bridge. And as they crossed the bridge we were waiting with the cold beer. 
.....We crossed Central and went to this huge mound of hot embers. The Forest Preserve District was there earlier with volunteers gathering ground cover to burn and cutting down invasive species. It was warm. Meat Insider was designated our official bottle opener and given the bottle opener, a little opener on the end of a little wooden prick. And she fondled it throughout the circle like it was the biggest wood she ever handled. And the hash scribe picks on everyone. We circled until that old man hare got cold and sang some good songs like Mobile. The younger hounds headed off to the city to partake in St. Patrick's Day drinking and the old farts headed over to The Nil for a couple of pitchers of good beers. 
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The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Hash, 16 Mar 2104 by Horn-E
.....A small turnout for all of the special things the hare, Epi Penis had for us out of O'Donnell's. As we took off, there were only five regular hounds, Dr Cockvorkian, Lifa, Chicken Stifer, Its Too Soft, and Horn-E. We did have two visitors, Suxxxs 2 B U from Tucson and Bud Wiper from Phoenix. We also had a new hasher in the area, from Uganda, Just Dan. Welcome to Chicago. Trail started to the east and hit the goofy angled streets between Pulaski and Milwaukee. Our visitors started out well and led withJust Dan, but it was short lived. At a Check at Pulaski, Lifa took the lead and we followed from there on. As we worked our way through the neighborhood streets, Epi Penishad us twisting all over in direct contrast to his last trail. But little help as the leaders, Dr Cockvorkian, Lifa, Chicken Stifer eventually worked through a series of easy Checks and Splits leaving the rest behind. Just Dan and Its Too Soft finally made a middle pack and Horn-E was back with the visitors, finally walking into the beer stop withSuxxxs 2 B U. There was a bottle of Jameson and green good jello shots. After here the pack took off on more twisting trail that led to a predictable tiny little park near the Expressway for another beer stop. All right, we've been here before. Horn-E and Suxxxs 2 B U finally came walking in only to see two House puppies, Soul Taco who rode along with the hare and Ginger Snatch who somehow found the beer stop. A few minutes later we all started walking back to the bar. 
.....Back at the bar we were greeted by two more house puppies, or just drunken mongrels, Smell This and Humpty Dumpty. Shit happens and it did. Chaos would rule the day. We were let into the back room and Soul Taco soon had the beer flowing. Epi Penis had several pizzas there along with various chip varieties and a couple dozen cupcakes for St. Patrick's Day. Well done. Lifa bailed us out with starting a circle, but excessive loud talking, shouting and interrupting turned it into chaos, as Lifa tried to get in the basics of a circle and introduce the new visitors, Bud Wiper and Suxxxs 2 B U and our newest transplants, Just Dan. Pied Piper also showed up, a frequent visitor from San Francisco. But there was no control of this circle and Lifa immediately started to sing Swing Low along with everybody else except Smell This who tried to out shout us throughout the song. Done. Thanks Lifa. After this, some left soon. Then our visitors started a game that was a cross between pong and who knows what and a lot of drinking and more chaos. After that those that were still there settled into nice conversation circles. Thanks Epi Penis
.....
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The Tale of the Trail
The Chicago Full Moon Hash, 17 Mar 2014 by Horn-E
.....This was set out of Babe's by two hashers trying to set everything in Mar to celebrate their birthdays, Hooch B4 Cooch and Rump Springa. Horn-E arrived late after a long walk from the end of the bus line at Central and Caldwell. And as he was walking in the woods he found two binders full of sports cards. Strange, Where they stolen and abandoned there. Did some kid just forget them after a trade session. But whatever, both hares wanted at those cards and are card collectors. So they divided them up after the hash. Whatever
.....We started up into an alley and a quick Split. Lifa as On to the west and we basically followed him west through a series of Splits. At our first Check, Lifa tried straight and was already coming back when Or G and Horn-E arrived. Lifa then went south, found a new bar to try out and finally returned as Horn-E was following Or G to the north and through a hole in a fence and into a cemetery. We finally got to the roads in the cemetery and at the first Split, Or G headed north and Horn-E was On to the east. This took us through three more Splits and finally to the corner of the cemetery and a fence climb. Beer near. We crossed Milwaukee and there was the beer in the parking lot behind some elderly housing. Or G and Horn-E felt right at home. Lifa was desperately trying to appear younger. After the beer we headed north along the rivers edge behind a row of buildings and finally into a parking lot and a Split. And the south on the Split pointed us right back to the same beer stop. With beer in hand we went down to river level and held circle as the full moon rose in the east.
.....After circle we headed back to the bar and shortly later a house puppy, Son Of Spam showed up. Beer was cheap, we had pop corn and cookies and settled in to drinking beer. Barely over 2 miles and 30 minutes. Damn short but nice. 
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On On
Horn-E


The Tale of The Trail 
The Thirstday Hash, Feb 20, 2014 by Horn-E
This trail was set by O'Shitty Runch and Crouching Tiger Hidden Jacob out of W Cut Rate Liquor, a real great dive bar. Horn-E, Just Graham, Four Score In The Back Door, Epi Penis, Foamy discharge, Just Steff, Rofie Ragu, Hooch B4 Cooch, Drill In My Box and Panic Vaginatum. House Puppies were W Jew 40Sugar Nuts, 10 Dix With Wings, Soul Taco, Glory Hole, and Furry Spice. 
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The Tale of The Trail 
The Chicago Hash, Feb 23, 2014 by Horn-E
This trail was set by Epi Penis and Hood Whorenament out of Irish Eyes.
Horn-E, Back Door County, R-Tard-E, Hooch B4 Cooch, Feather, Just Graham, Dick Harmonica, Uploader, Chunder Pussy, Son Of Spam, Berts Special Friend, Meat Insider, Taste The Rainbow, Lifa, The Dark Kunt, Soul Taco, Its Too Soft, Just Preston, Just Bobby, TampOn TampOff, Mommy Strangelove.  
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The Tale of The Trail 
The Whiskey Wednesday Hash #2, Feb 26, 2014 by Horn-E
This trail was set by Glory Hole out of Cobra Lounge.
Horn-E Puzzled In The Sack, Just Graham, Feather, Snotcho Mama, Rhotan, Son Of Spam, My Hard Will Go ON Forever, Lifa, MHooch B4 Cooch, Crotch Fire, Rump Springa, and one House Puppy, Meat Insider.  
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The Tale of The Trail 
The Thirstday Hash, Feb 27, 2014 by Horn-E
This trail was set by Hoosier Daddy out of Cork Lounge.
Horn-E, Hooch B4 Cooch, Epi Penis, O'Shitty Runch, Foamy discharge, Chippendale, Roofie Ragu, Just Steff, Panic Vaginatum, Just Graham and a lot of House Puppies with Its Too Soft, Crouching Tiger Hidden Jacob, Frequent Flyer, Soul Taco, Ice Princess, Four Score In The Back Door.
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The Tale of The Trail 
The Chicago Hash, Mar 2, 2014 by Horn-E
This trail was set by SnatchSquatch and Soul Taco out of Moe's.
Horn-E, Rump Springa, Hooch B4 Cooch, Back door County, Chunder Pussy, Its Too Soft, Snotcho Mama, Epi Penis, Lifa, Feather, False Advertising, Dr. Cockvorkian
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The Tale of The Trail 
The First Crack of the Moon Hash, Mar 3, 2014 by Horn-E
This trail was set by Hooch B4 Cooch and Rump Springa out of the Jefferson Inn and despite a nasty tweet, it was not to bad with two great beer stops in neighborhood parks. Horn-E, Or G, Son Of Spam.
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The Tale of The Trail 
The Thirstday Hash, Mar 6, 2014 by Horn-E
.....This was set by Sugar Nuts and Snotcho Mama out of Wrigleyville North. We went outside and found several large marks for the Chalk Talk. And then off we were with 14 hounds and no sweep from the two hares. And that killed things for three of us.
.....Trail went south and then east into an alley. North from there under El tracks and finally east again in another alley. Horn-E was again trailing way back and I have no idea who was leading. Meanwhile I still haven't seen a mark yet and I'm just following way back. At the next street I finally saw a mark heading south. The pack was a block ahead, disappearing into another alley. I knew this alley and paralleled it, trying to catch up with the pack. I could see the pack to my south. They hit a fence and several crossed the fence and looked lost. Then I saw a bunch of hashers heading back west in another alley and so I backtracked trying to get back to the pack. Here was my first real screw up. If I had waited, The trail actually went over that fence and over to Broadway and a mark heading north and another and I never know where after that. And I would have been near the front. But like I said, I back tracked, running into Its Too Soft at the next corner. We were off course and I yelled that I could see the pack returning in another alley and heading south. From the distance I could recognize at least Drill In My Box. They emerged from that alley, headed south to the next corner and then east to Broadway. As I got to that corner I thought I could see the pack crossing Broadway, a block away. That was the last I saw of the pack. I ran to Broadway and there were no marks. The problem with following a distant pack is that you aren't always sure what they were following. Not always on marks, but running to try to get back to the pack. So when you get to where they were, you have no marks to follow and real guessing begins. Often wrong. I was. I thought they crossed Broadway and so I did. No marks. I headed north on the opposite side of the street from where there were real marks. Damn. But I'm not on marks. So I guessed wrong again and thought the trail might be heading over to Lincoln Park. And so I headed there, hoping to cross trail somewhere. Not. Damn. I entered the park at Irving Park, ran south to Addison and the pedestrian tunnel. Nothing. So I tried to find trail as I  slowly worked my way back, finally going north on Broadway. And guess what. I found the marks I should have been following a half hour ago. As I went along I found a stash of drywall, slim three foot strips. I salvaged them and returned to he bar. Following would have been useless at that point. And back at the bar was our visitor One Trick Dick from Syracuse (Come visit again) and the virgin he brought, Just Amy (Definitely cum again). They also lost trail. Eventually a bunch of hounds arrived. Also lost. They went back out, but didn't find the Beer Stop. Eventually I was told that it was near Damen and Grace. 
.....After the pack finally got in, The Dark Kunt took over the circle and gave many to the hares. We met our virgin and visitor and Chippendale took up another collection for pizza. About nine square feet of it. Anchovy pizza was good. The circle ended, we ate and Just Amy and Sugar Nuts joined the band and showed us how poorly they would do at Karoke. But the band was kind and let them up there. What they didn't know is that the band cut off there mics. 
Other hounds on trail included Lifa, Hooch B4 Cooch, One Fuck Chuck, Dr. Cockvorkian, Feather, Just Steff, and Roofie Ragu
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The Tale of The Trail 
The Big Dog Hash, Mar 8, 2014 by Horn-E
This was set by Or G for his birthday out of The Original Dugans, with an assist from Gas Stop Bob. Taking the Peterson Bus to the end of the line and then walking, I stumbled onto marks. They were right in the middle of a work crew, trimming trees and cutting down trees. Two lanes were blocked and often the other two lanes were stopped as cranes moved trees over to the road and loaded onto logging trucks. They were working on the north side of the street and I walked on the south side as I crossed the bridge at the river. And there were the marks. After the bridge I lost marks but picked them on on Malvina, the street I headed south on. Two marks. What you discover when coming to the hash can save your ass later. Would I die like on that last hash, or would it all pay off this time. 
.....We had 11 paying hounds taking off on trail. We ran around the local streets and alleys, and the usual confusion of angled streets and confusing intersections. We were to the east of Milwaukee when the FRB came to a Triple Split. Horn-E was directed to Check left and I did. ON. Crossed MIlwaukee and there was a Check. Knowing the trail eventually had to go up to Devon, I went north a block and nothing. Checking the local alley and the pack was called ON to the west. Still north of the pack, I decided to parallel in an alley and when I came out, no one was in sight. Finally I saw Berts Special Friend heading south, but looking to the east like he was paralleling the pack. South. (?) He was paralleling. And as he headed back east, I also headed east and got to Milwaukee and no one was in sight. Damn. I'm running too slow these days and there is no way I was ever going to find and catch that pack. So I headed to known marks and decided to follow the trail in reverse to get back to the pack. The trail went east along Indian Road and into the adjacent alleys. I followed to a little park and found a Check. So, where did the trail come from that led to that Check. Going east along the south side of the park and I saw a red flour mark in snow, going north. But there was no turn marks towards this mark and so I decided this was some part of trail before the Check, not leading directly to the check. Returning to the Check I looked west and found a False. As I was about to check out the last remaining direction, I saw the leaders of the pack heading past that red mark I saw. What they did was go into a big, well laid loop and back to this Check. Only thing possible. 
.....So, I'm essentially back with the pack and I headed west on Indian Road. They would surely catch me eventually. Really. Wouldn't they? Not. I followed the trail across Devon and came up to the co-hare, Gas Stop Bob who was driving to the beer stop and took a detour. He had with him the injured Just Do Me Slowly who fell on trail. Hey, at her height, she couldn't have fallen far enough to hurt herself. But really, she banged her knee and was down for the count. Gas Stop Bob pointed me straight into this big parking lot where there was a Check. I never found it, but found a mark heading into the woods. I followed this, knowing that it would only take me into a big loop along the river and eventually to those marks I saw on Devon. I wasn't On for most of this loop, but eventually came to marks. I now thought that the pack must have finally passed me while I was on this loop. Not. They were still behind me. 
.....Crossing Devon and crossing the bridge, I was back on marks and slipped down to river level where I found only one set of footprints, the hares. Hmmm. I guess I'm still ahead. I ran on in deep snow, all right. Mostly walked. I tried to walk in OrGs footprints. Faster and less work and then the pack wouldn't know I was ahead of them. Horn-E is a rat bastard. But why spoil the trail for the real FRBs, just because I caught a short cut. The main pack deserves a chance to really hash instead of just following a short cutters footprints. 
.....Trail again crossed Devon and into pure woods hashing. There were several crossing deer paths and paths with one or two previous walkers. OrG followed these and put Splits at many intersections. I could see he was trying to hide his footprints and walk backwords over sections to confuse the pack. And that is what I did, almost as if I was laying the trail, while actually trying to run and solve the trail. Several times I would loss my balance and that single set of footprints would become two and then back to one set of footprints. Trail dropped into a shallow revine and then a field of tall grasses and burrs. Finally it came out at the bike trail. A short bit later, there was another dip towards the river and back up to a huge field and picnic areas. And there was the hares, the auto puppy Meat Insider and Just Do Me Slowly. I tried to run in and the deep snow kept me going slow, but eventually I made it to the No Peek Beer Stop. 
.....Damn, I ended up with Steel Reserve, 24 oz. About ten minutes later, the true FRB came out of the woods and fell flat on his face in the deep snow. Way to go, Berts Special Friend. He was soon followed by the pack, Lifa, Crotch Fire, EZ On The Ass, Lower Wackoff, Son Of Spam, Snotcho Mama, and one hound who arrived late with his dog, and found the pack on trail, Double Fister
.....Lifa started up our usual Big Dog circle and we finally finished our circle just before dancing to keep warm, Meat Insider turned into Frozen Meat Insider.
We then walked back to the bar and settled into more beer. We did a few long sings and Horn-E did an Alloutte on Meat Insider. Finally we all headed on home, tired and satisfied in good trail and good beer. And I never said that. 
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The Tale of The Trail 
The Chicago Hash, Mar 9, 2014 by Horn-E
This was set by Feather and a first time hare, Dr Cockvorkian out of Chipps. Well, when you have two fast hares, expect a long trail and we got one. We headed straight east and through a narrow passage on a b