The Tale of the Trail
X
Mon, Jul 18, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Death By Bukake and Just Justice will hare from McGees for a dozen
hounds. And the trail went west and then north and then east and then
north, and on and on to Wrigley. Then over to Diversey and Sherican for a
beer stop and on in. A total of 6 miles according to one sweaty hasher.
But I will give the hare credit. As he zigged and zagged north he never
went more then two blocks in the same direction. But back and forth and
back and forth through a lot of Splits and one Check. Or so I was told.
I know I only saw one before I gave up. Hadn't seen any other hasher in
well over a mile and as it headed north again at Halsted, I headed
south. I was really running shitty. Even for me. I did eventually pick
up on trail after Fullerton and ran it on in. Got in just in time to get
the shag bags from the shag shack and had them in circle as the FRBs
arrived. North Bangher Alley took another shot at RA from where her
career began, under the El tracks. WTF. Noisy Els again. After a short
circle we got into naming Just Justice. After much deliberation he shall
forever more be know as Shit T Situation. On Out
X
Thu, Jul 21, 2022, The Thirstday Hash. Dryrafoam
will hare from Ronan Park, umless it isn't Ronan Park. And then it
might be in River Park about three blocks north and across the river.
And so the change was announced on the Web
site, at several places. Unfortunately I looked at the place were it
wasn't updated. But I managed to find the start just in time and we took
off with a small pack of five. And I quickly fell behind, only ahead of
SnatchSquatch. And then he passed me at a Back Check and there I was,
running alone again. After two blocks. But the trail was well marked and
swept until I quit following the swept marks and just headed east
trying to short cut the trail. And I did, finding marks a little over a
half mile to B. and did a nice river walk to the On In. Here we held a
laid back short circle and everyone headed On Out
X
Mon, Jul 25, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Mommys Little Accident picked up his usual co hare, Gay Dancer and laid
trail out of Clarendon Park. We had 9 hounds including a Harriett for
once. Just Evelyn. Trail headed south and eventually over to the tunnel
to Lincoln Park just south of Montrose. A Check here had me in back.
What else is new. but I followed the pack to the north and towards the
lake and another Check. I got to it just in time to mark the check and
follow to the Harbor were False Advertising passed me. This went along
the Harbor heading east and I got stopped by some guy in a long white
beard. He was a runner and we talked and I tried t get him to come to a
future hash. Of course now I am totally behind the pack. So as the pack
did a loop around the bird sanctuary I short cut it and found marks by a
beach side cafe. And as I ran on I was soon passed and followed the
pack in a northward loop and then over to the bike path and on to a
shelter at about 4500 north where the hares were waiting with beer.
North Bangher Alley led our circle. So far so good. Now if we can just
get her to start running with us again. Nice short circle and then the
tall tales started until they ended and those that were left, left. On
Out.
X
The Tale of the Trail
X
Sat.
Jul 9, 2022, The Big Dog Hash. Mudsucker took the hash to territory
where it has never gone before, Lansing Il. and The location is the
Bottom Up Bar
and Grill. Big plans, but it lost somethings in execution from this
perspective. Trail was divided into 2 sections going past the bar
between them. It might have been a lot more fun if we all stayed
together as we got to the second section in the waist deep shiggy. Four
people went for just the B part. And that included 3 virgins. They quit
the trail in about 100 yards after realizing they would have to cross a
bridge on a country road. No future hashers there. That left Back Door
Bizzel taking on the shiggy alone with $20 Butt Slut. And just a steady
stream of nothing but briars and thorns and such was going to be a bit
much for the dog who does shiggy all the time. But that was just to deep
and no ocasional path to run down. So he had to abandon the trail after
several hundred yards of that stuff. All right, the rest of the pack
now. We had 10 people on tha A part of the trail which was just a loop
through a cemetery and some grassy area and a truck loading zone. Looked
like it was laid by car. I was walking and found myself walking with
Just Tookey and out of sight of everyone. We managed that okay, but
something like this just stretches out a pack for what it was all about,
the Shiggy to follow. So we finally head into the shiggy part. Red
flour on trees. The pack of 6 ahead of us had an easier time trying to
spot the flour on trees that were sometimes to far apart. We were two
and my failing eyesight didn't help. And the marks looked like they were
laid the day before. Just an opinion as the flour was hardeing as with
dew and such. But we struggled on and on and on. Often just following
the beaten path and sometimes just trying to find our way. It would have
been more fun with the pack. but with no forest paths it was just a
constant struggle. We finally came out to the road and no marks, but
finally spotted a mark across the street and into more woods. Another
couple of hundred yards of this and we came out at this lake where the
Beer Stop was supposed to be. And not a mark anywhere and we looked. And
of course the pack drank beer and just took off. WTF. Just Tookey
really wanted a beer at tis point. We heard later it was warm. So we
finally had to leave and guess which way to go. We got to the road and
shortly Back Door Bizzle came by from a gas run and gave us a ride on
in. And of course even the circle was over as they couldn't even wait
for us for circle. Back Door Bizzle had to leave and so I just took off
with him. It might be worth another try, but not the A part and stick
around for the whole pack at the beer stop and circle. Others on trail,
as memory serves me, Magnetic Muff, Stuffin Muffin, Lifa from the north
lands and Reverand Shut The Fuck Up, Necrophillac and Jack In The Box.
x
Mon, Jul 11, 2022, 7:00pm, The Chicago Hash.
Ritinal Cum Bubble and Antique Load Show hared from Loafers. Didn't
make it. But heard from Lower Wackoff was the only local regular hasher
there. But about 6 other hounds, virgins and visitors. Where are the
local hashers?
x
Tue, Jul 12, 2022, 7:00pm, The Chicago Full Moon Hash. Lower
Wackoff hared from Ham Tree Inn. A nice LW trail with his usual nasty
Checks and such that led to a beer stop in the woods after about 200
yards of trail in the woods in the dark. Anal Contradiction
was the FRB to B and didn't know he had to find the B, in a deep hole.
But Lifa finally arrived and found the B and Bingo and BooBee. Just Do
Me Slowly and Horn-E were both injured and walked the whole trail, and
almost kept up with the pack with those nasty Checks. Just Do Me Slowly
and Stuffin Muffin were also there. That first Check was a real nasty
Check that had the pack really spread out. But at the finish we headed
into the bar and their beer garden for a few pitchers of beer and our
circle. And all was good. On Out.
X
Thu, Jul 14, 2022, 7:00PM, The Thirstday Hash. Dickens
Cider hared from Wee Gees. Another trail I missed. But SnatchSquatch
reported a fun trail and about 6 hounds, including Famming Flaggott and I
don't know who else.
X
Sat,
Jul 16, 2022, 2:00PM. The Bushman Hash. Horn-E
amd Back Door Bizzle laid trail from Horn-E woods at Cumberland and
Irving Park. We had to park far away and seeing the crowds of team
sports throughout the area, we decided to just tell the pack that the
first mark was on the hill to the south. If you were ever there, you
know that hill. And we short cut to the hill and started trail there
with a check. But we were soon into some knee deep shiggy and scrittchy
scratchy and wandering through open fields of this. Then we came to our
big mistake. I may never go through this again in the summer. There is
an emergency road into the woods. North of this is a section of woods
that has had a growing infestation of thorn bushes. Well, once in, we
couldn't get out. And we struggled. We finally forced our way out and
hit that same road. We were aiming north to exit that thick section and
got so turned around we came out to the south, WTF. And we didn't
realize it. But we coon recovered and headed towards the river and a
Check. We missed this whole section of really nice running woods off of
Montrose. Damn. That was the goal. So at this check I looked for a path
that used to head southeast from there. Another wall of sticker bushes,
Impassable. So we skipped that part of the plan and headed south along
the river. Finally we headed inland and into some nice running area in
deep woods and then it wasn't. We were shoulder deep in tall weeds and
could only see a tree in the distance to put flour on. Very high. But
some fun stuff and no thorns and such. We got out of there and through
some picnic areas and over to the underpass under Irving Park and
another Check. True trail went along the river until a winding path
straight east. Well, anyhow it went straight east until we headed
straight south over the creek. More water guys, but shallow and narrow.
From here we are now running late so it was straight east again and at
the foot bridge we held a Check. Two trails out and both on until one
wasn't and they were on opposite sides or the creek. But we struggled
past more thorns bushes and finally our On In path. That led to a field
of waist deep shiggy, but mostly soft grasses and there that bastard
hare, Horn-E was sitting with about 12 foreign beers. And SnatchSquatch
was the FRB followed by Walking Penis and Just Ron. Then came Lifa and
Saving Myself For Two Black Guys. But where is Scent Of A Man. Last seen
at the Irving Park crssoing. And he is running lame with a torn
Achillies Tendon. Finally Back Door Bizzle arrives with some more beer.
And eventually Scent Of A Man. We held circle there, Bushman Style. and
after three rounds we got into naming Just Ron. The story has to do with
riding a bike and a collusion and his eye hitting the other bike. His
dad said it was the peddle or peg. but whatever, it popped his eye out.
Yeah, dangling from his head. And so forever more he will be known as
Popeye Got Pegged. On Out
xSwing Low and On ON
Horn-E
The Tale of the Trail
X
Wed, Jun 29, 2022, The Whiskey Wednesday Hash. Brother Incisor hared from Delilahs with
an assist from Hot Mess Bench Press for 7 hounds. We started south on
Lincoln and then west and south and west and west and all the way to
Damen. And I almost kept the pack in sight, but finally lost them before
Ashland and Fullerton. Trail went over the bridge to Webster and
then straight to that mentioned Damen and I didn't see a hasher
anywhere. But the trail was mostly swept and I kept plunging on. Now
heading east on this CCW trail as it worked its way to a park at Ashland
and the end of the 606 trail for a short shot stop. And just as I
arrived, I saw the pack leaving. And by the time I got to Cortland I
could barely see the last runner heading east over the river. I plunged
on and got to Clybourn and there was the last of the pack running off
after solving a Check. And I get caught by the light and lost them
again. But it was north and east through neighborhoods as the trail
worked its way to Fullerton and Sheffield. The hare said 4 miles and by
my calculations Jonquil Park would be exactly 4 miles. So as I run north
I missed a turn and keep going to Jonquil Park and I can't see a soul
in the dark. I really need that eye surgery soon. So I return looking
for marks and the mark I missed was in the shadows. A turn to this alley
heading north....to Jonquil Park. And there is the pack about to finish
circle. But hell. I'm just slow. They don't have to wait for me. About 5
to 10 minutes later, everyone was gone. On Out.
X
Thu, Jun 30, 2022, The Thirstday Hash. Sanding
Ovation hared from Lakeview Playground Park with an assist from
Urnestus(?). We had 13 hounds, Good lately. trail headed west and us
slow bastards were almost able to keep them in sight until we hit
Ashland. From here it was Horn-E, Coming Right Meow, Castro Dick Assist
and Scent Of A Man. Trail worked its way through some neighborhoods and a
park and then west on Diversey. We did a loop to the south and then
Checking at Diversey and Damen. Trail went north to Hamlin Park and then
we headed east. Except Horn-E. He headed down, doing a header on some
of Chicago's shittiest concrete sidewalks. Knees, elbows, hands and
head. Blood was gushing out everywhere. At least that was the reaction
of Cumming Right Meow. Actually just a little blood and what turned into
a black eye. And hell, as I type this a week later. I'm sitting with a
swollen knee and an ice pack. WTF. It was just a freaking little booboo.
But we walked in from there, to the start and a beer stop at the start.
Then it was off to the Lincoln Lounge for circle. Short. Finally after
getting called out for my trip to the head meets concrete, I was able to
wash off the blood. Then with $20 pitchers the pack soon dissipated. On
Out.
x
Fri,
Jun 31, 2022, The First Crack of the Moon Hash. Meat
Inside Her and Berts Special Friend laid trail from Sullys and we had
an extremely fast pack. NOT. Well, maybe Lifa, SnatchSquatch, and
Magnetic Muff are mid speed hashers. The rest of us cling to the back of
the pack. And that was perfect for two virgins, J. Andria and J.
Gregory. They were afraid of being left behind, but Lower Wackoff saved
them and came in DFL while waiting for them. But being a slower pack,
they were able to see the checking and such and get to enjoy the trail a
little more. We did run the neighborhoods and messed up one Check. That
is when a car drove by Stuffin Muffin who was following Horn-E. The guy
said to Stuffin Muffin, "That is the fastest, oldest guy I've ever
seen." And I wasn't even falling this time. Anyhow we covered the area,
still together and we headed over to Division and Halsted and a Check.
This went over the west bridge and then to the south. Where, we aren't
sure. Trail ran up to a movie set where they were going to be filming
some car crash scenes. Ooops. Can't go through here. Meanwhile Lower
Wackoff and I ended up on the other side of the movie scene and blocked.
So as we ranged off, we saw SnatchSquatch running north and yelling
about a movie scene and he headed into the north end of Goose Island. I
followed and soon after the foot bridge we were at beer. There was also
Lifa. And eventually the pack wandered in. And in, was along the river
on a nice walkway. And we circled there for a nice Moon Hash circle and
even the virgins got into the scene and told us they really like the
hash. The Moon was up and kayakers were floating on by. What wasn't to
like. But all good things have to end and after many tall tales it was
soon on out.
X
Sun, Jul 3, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Lifa hared from Its Too Soft's roof deck. He hasn't been hashing for
some time now, but he did open his roof top for us at the last minute.
Thanks. We
had 13 hounds for this trail and Lifa warned us about possibly running
over the TH3 trail from a few days ago. So off we go to the west and
north a bit and back through some alleys to Racine and Diversey. Tricky
Check at the corner and the trail went backwards past the turn to the
Check. So they were heading west and I was Checking east. Yeah, that
works great. Then traffic lights and they were all gone. Then the trail
went straight to the start of the old TH3 Trail. And On and On in a big
CCW loop. A few things were swept a little funny and a missed turn after
the third Check and now I'm really way behind. I finally hit a three
way and went straight and was at Jonquil Park. I'm done. It is to
freaking hot, I'm alone for some time now and I'm two blocks for the
finish. I'm done and headed over to the roof deck. Five minutes later
the pack came on in. Circle was held and all was going good and fun.
Then they called out those that served in the military for a down down
on Independence day weekend. Good. Then I called out Its Too Soft for
not flying an American Flag. I was told I better get used to it. Not.
This holiday was about the birth of America and not the special
interests of a minority. I would think we would still be Americans first
on this weekend. But we moved on. And after circle the famous Its Too
Soft grill was lit up and we had some hot dogs, brats and salmon
burgers. Well done Its Too Soft. Then it was hang out time and a bunch
of us vets had a good bull shit session about the life of vets in and
out. Then the pack slowly wandered off. On Out.
X
Tue, Jul 5, 2022, The 4X2H4 Hash, Berts
Special Friend and Meet Inside Her met in a bug infested little park
with no name.,for a great trail for a great pack of hashers.
Unfortunately there were only two hounds at the start, Lifa and Lower
Wackoff. Horn-E showed up two minutes after the pack took off. The trail
was the usual shitty trail set for a large pack. well, not really. It
wasn't that hard and Horn-E soon caught Lower Wackoff, slipped past him
at a Check and actually caught Lifa who was running in front and marking
all the Splits and Checks. And then Lifa left Horn-E behind and Lower
wackoff caught him at Halsted and they worked there way into the finish
together. A short beer stop and a shorter Circle and we returned to the
start. Here on a beautiful night we just hung around telling tall tales
and many beers were consumed and we watched the transformation of lowly
bugs into flying eating monsters. On Out.
X
Thu,
Jul 7. 2022. The Thirstday Hash. BiHoler laid trail from Dugans for a
short trail for short and tall hashers alike. We had 11 hounds on trail
and we headed east and over a bridge towards the loop. But after a check
it was just a loop and the trail was soon heading back over the
Expressway at Washington. Then over to Randolph where we ran around and
through a stream of sidewalk cafes and such. The fastest runners were
blazing the trail or off on Falses and there was a small pack following
along. Yeah, myself. And the new transplant Harriet ...Hes Still Limping
who was heard to say, "There is someone I can beat." Meaning Scent Of A
Man running in his walking boot. He managed to stay in front of her the
whole way. We also had two visitors in that back group, Minor Mouthful
Queef and Fuck Children Get Cookies. The back pack also included Cuming
Right Meow. I was barely hanging in and then at the last park and a
Split, I managed to see SnatchSquatch and then Berts Special Friend
going around the park and followed and got ahead of the back pack and
hung in to the beer stop. An interesting story after trail from Just Ron
(He needs a name). He was on a False and back tracking when he heard
two people having sex. He asked "Does this happen often." Not often
enough. Three others on trail were False Advertising FRB, LIfa and Hooch
B4 Cooch. After the beer stop we headed to the hares roof deck ten
flights up and waited for beer to finally arrive. then we held a quick
circle. Then a bunch of groupies showed up and tall tales and bull shit
really started. And I was soon ON Out.
x
Swing Low and On ON
Horn-E
HHHi HHHashers:See my calendar at www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/hashcal and my web site at HHHinChicago.com
Visitors
and new hashers (virgins), we start meeting at the listed times and
start hashing a half hour later. Time for a quick beer.
Anyone want off this list, email Horn-E at H3HornEH3@aol.com and it will be done.
New
hashers or visitors, because of the virus and lock down, many hashes
are back yards or parks. Outside. Be prepared for the current weather.
We occasionally charge up to $10 for hash cash, and/or BYOB. Hash cash
money usually goes entirely to beer, but might include costs for food.
HARES: Please get your locations updated ASAP but at least a week to 10
days in advance so we can publish them. Helps attendance.
Hashing
has always been open to anyone. Hares: If you can't invite all hashers
to "your" hash, perhaps you should postpone "your" hash to when you can.
Simply put, if you can't invite all, don't invite any. These are "our"
hashes and should be open to all at all times. If you don't know how to
make this work, ask us.
X
Wed, Jun 29, 2022, 7:00pm The Whiskey Wednesday Hash. Brother Incisor will hare from Deliliahs at 2771 N. Lincoln.
X
Thu, Jun 30, 2022, 7:00PM, The Thirstday Hash. Sanding Ovation will hare from Lakeview Playground Park as 1300 W. Wolfram, $10 Hash Cash. ThirstdayH3.com
x
Fri,
Jun 31, 2022, 7:00pm, The First Crack of the Moon Hash. Meat
Inside Her will hare from Sullys Place at Blackhawk and Dayton, Just
south of the North and Clybourn Red Line Stop. Parking is tough.
Remember, this is the Black
Socks Hash. $6 Hash Cash
X
Sun, Jul 3, 2022, 2:00pm, The Chicago Hash.
Lifa will hare from Its Too Soft's roof deck at 933 W. Wolfram. Around
back. Be sure to thank him for opening up his roof deck to the hash on
this rush basis. $10 Hash Cash. ChicagoHash.com
X
Tue, Jul 5, 2022, 6:30pm, out at 7:00pm sharp, The 4X2H4 Hash, Berts Special Friend will hare out of Aberdeen & Arthington, a park, and near the Field House.
X
The Tale of the TrailXThu. Jun 23, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
Just James and Garmin laid trail from Brands park for 13 hounds. Yeah,
another sausage fest. And within about two blocks they had their first
screw up. They missed a Check mark and people came to a corner and just
kept going straight. The pack finally returned when they ran out of
marks on a long two block stretch, WTF. But trail was found to the west
and we were soon off and running agin. And some of us in the back
drifted further and further back while they front raced on and O. There
were a few loops close enough for a short cut, but by then we were
stretched out enough that we never saw those way in front. But trail was
a big counterclockwise loop and eventually back to Belmont where the
pack was hiding just over a wall and drinking beer. And three hounds
actually came in after me. WTF. Then we walked back to the start where
we held a very short circle and then SnatchSquatch then led us in a
naming. That that one was fun and Just James was namedasdjkfg hell, I
can't read my own writing. That lemon aid is getting to strong. Anus
Contribution. Maybe. On Out
X
Mon,
Jun 27, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Happy Ass Grabber will hare from Park 574 and we had 12 hounds
including a Harriet Virgin and a visitor virgin. Scent Of A Man is in
town with his son and he ran with us. Then got lost or at least we
thought he was lost. Damn, you take your kid a thousand miles away,
throw him into a big city get toe and damn if he still finds his way
back. Hey, he might grow up into a hell of a hasher. Anyway I believe
the Harriett was Just Katy, but you know I can't hear and I didn't get a
chance to talk to her. Yeah, a pretty single lady. No way they are
going to let this dirty old man meet her. And as for SOAM the Younger, I
also didn't get a chance to meet him. I believe I heard Just Ron. How
about Run Ron Run. Now for the trail. Just after they took off, I
arrived and saw the sweep heading west with Scent Of A Man. I caught up
and he grabbed my shag bag and pointed us in the direction of a short
cut. And we missed the urban farm. Sheep, goats, chickens and a donkey
and an elephant. Wait, those last two were political signs. Then a back
check that would lead to a foot bridge over the highway. Would have been
great but Horn-E and Stiffy 4 Stiffies headed straight there. Anyway we
quickly regrouped and the FRBs ran by and into waist deep shiggy. Nasty
weeds and such for a couple of hundred yards. Then the hare directed us
into another short cut and he didn't remember where he laid trail. And
Lower Wackoff got caught on the first Check and was way behind and in
need of these short cuts. But we ran on and eventualy regrouped. Then
more nasty shiggy and tracks and such around this hill we have run up
way in the past. Coming out of this we headed south to something street
about 11teenth south. Again he wanted to give us a short cut, but we
decided to follow trail, Bad mistake. He pointed us south and for two
blocks we were good. Then a turn across the street and west that went no
where. So I headed south and got as fat as 15teenth St. and no marks.
Now I'm way behind and heading back to 11teenth St and that short cut so
I can catch up. Somewhat. This headed west and into a park. People
everywhere hanging out around parked cars. But no beer stop. So I ran
around the car blocking the path and through the smell of strong weed
and on into the park. Finally heading north, a few cars suddenly drove
up and almost blocked that path and guys piled out of the cars. I run on
through as I'm trying to blaze a trail through this trail for the
following Chief Runs On Club Foot. The Scent Of A Man. We finally get
through the park and start walking together. Probably/possibly dead
fucking last. We walk on and on and over the expressway and further
north and suddenly I see an angled street. Hey, Happy Ass Grabber lives
near here. And trail goes straight to his house where Lifa and Happy Ass
Grabber were just coming out wondering where the hell we were. His son
is missing and so is Lower Wackoff. So Happy Ass Grabber and Scent of a
Man get into a car and franticly ride out looking for One Lost Son Run Ron Run of
a Scent Of A Man. And Lower Wackoff just arrives in time for a
beer/roady and we all head back to the start. And right after we take
off, Ball Cock Dumper runs into One Lost Son Run Ron Run of a Scent Of A Man. All is good and we are all in. Except now the hare and Chief Runs On Club Foot
are riding off into the sunset or something like that as they drive all
over the area. And no cell connection available. Hell, we finally got
through to them and they came in and got their due in down downs in the
circle. And then all was good and some headed to a bar and some headed
home to howl at the moon at another hash. And I swear it is all truth.
On Out.
x
Swing Low and On ONHorn-E
The Tale of the Trailx
Tue,
Jun 14, 2022, The Chicago Full Moon Hash. Lifa hared from
Senior Citizens Park at 2228 N. Oakley. The last time he laid trail from
here it was cold and snowing and he had two hounds. This time it was
steaming hot and he had ..... two hounds. But there was one on the way.
Is it Lifa, the park, or doesn't anyone care about hashing anymore. So
Lower Wackoff and Horn-E took off on trail and were joined by a
streaking Stiffy 4 Stiffies about two blocks later. And then a Check and
Horn-E was On for several twisting alleys before they caught him. From
there on it was Lower Wackoff finding trail and Stiffy 4 Stiffies
finding trail and all three Back Checks. But in all that heat we ran on
and mostly were within sight of each other all the way. Then a Threeway.
Stiffy 4 Stiffies went right. Wrong. Lower Wackoff went Straight, right
and wrong. Horn-E went left and definetly wrong. But circling the block
and back to this alley and Stiffy 4 Stiffies yells Checking. And one,
two, three, and Horn-E is On. FRB until Stiffiy 4 Stiffies zipped on by
and into the Beer Stop in a local bar. With Air Conditioning. And a hare
with cold pints waiting. Back at the start, the four of us had a long
leisurely circle. On Out
x
Thu. Jun 16, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
SnatchSquatch laid trail from Burming Bush Brewery at 4014 N. Rockwell.
And Horn-E went to 4414 N. Rockwell. WTF. Is he senile. Not yet.
Recovering I ran straight south and arrived after the pack was gone. But
across the bridge and a Check and that damn pack was still stuck on
that Check. The first place I would have looked is the last place they
looked, just as I arrived. So. I'm with the pack and we went under
Irving Park and then west on Irving Park. Back through park and to the
south and the twisting foot bridge over the river. I'm with them but
constantly in catch up mode. We then ran over to a Check at Addison and
Western. This led to the streets just NW of there and I finally find a
short cut and I'm now running right behind Hobo Piss. We ran north to a
park and the Beer stop and came in one, two and Snatchsquatech is
sitting there with three groupies. A short time later the last three
came running on in,Just James, Dryrafoam, and Just James. SnatchSquatch
led circle and all was good. On Out
X
Sat.
Jun 18, 2022. The Bushman Hash,
Horn-E hared from St. Paul Woods. A beautiful day in the upped 60s.
Perfect for trail. The woods were full of lush greenery and virtually
Zero bugs. No skeeters. At the first must water crossing there was a
baby beaver swimming around so I moved trail to the left. I then headed
to Oakton to cross the river on a bridge, but I could have done a
straight river crossing as the waster wasn't deep. Anyhow, trail went
relatively straight north as it followed the river with a few twists.
Hey, it is a hash. Finally the trail heads east along the river and to a
B with an arrow pointing across the river. But there was a Split there
and more trail in waist high lush greenery to the bike path and tracks
and back around the dry way. Hey, the hounds get a choice for once. Over
to the start and only SnatchSquatch sitting there. WTF. On such a
beautiful day. About five minutes later Back Door Bizzle arrives and I
send them off. The only rough part was after the river crossing where I
had a check that stumped them for about ten minutes. And when they
finally got to the B, SnatchSquatch opted for the long way and Back Door
Bizzle hopped right into the river with $20 Butt Slut. And the nasty
old hare was sitting on the edge of the bank with cold beer. Pilsner
Urquell and Dab. European this time. We held a really laid back circle
of random accusations until they had enough beer.
On
the way out, Back Door Bizzle gave me a ride home. Twice. Almost home,
he realized he didn't have his phone. He had put it on his car hood just
before we pulled out. Damn. Race back and it is no where in sight. But
there was a lady there and she called his number. Answered. She was a
local in the area and talking a walk through the Forest Preserve, north
to south. She was at the south end. Zooooom and we're there and he got
his phone back. On Out
XSwing Low and On ONHorn-EThe Tale of the Trail
x
Thu. Jun 9, 2022. The Thirstday Hash, Gay Dancer and North Bangher Alley hared from 621
S. Plymouth Court, the residence of Ice Princess. Unfortunately he was
in his apartment, asleep, and we couldn't get in. WTF. So we took off, 6
hounds and two that came along later. Trail went north and west at
first. Suddenly the trail was straight south and eventually to the mall
on Roosevelt on the bridge. By the time I got here, I was alone with
Coming Right Meow. Trail then went over to Clark and continues straight
south for several blocks. We then worked our way to the east and over to
Michigan before heading straight north. A check at Roosevelt and we
were now just walking and into a field of legs before heading west and
to a park for a beer stop. After here we headed over to the Ice Castle
in the sky, a rehabbed real nice deck about 47 stories up in the air,
for a laid back circle as we were joined by some others. ON Out.
x
Sat. Jun 11, 2022. The Big Dog Hash,
SnatchSquatch hared for five hounds from Independence Park. We took off
to the east and stretched out a bit, regrouping at Irving Park and
Elston at a Check. This was found to the south and I eventually found
another Check at an alley and entered the alley to Check it out. Then
Chicken Stifer ran right by me. Hey, pick another direction. That is how
it works. WTF. So
I ranged instead. Eventually I got on trail and could see various
hounds ahead and going around this park. I went straight and came to
marks coming out of the park and followed them to a Check. Back Door
Bizzel went North, CS went east and indicating he had marks down an
alley. I was waiting for traffic to cross the street and Magnetic Muff
was Check hanging. I found nothing and so I ranged west and eventually
found marks just before the bridge over I 94. So I blew my whistle for
MM and headed west. At the next Check, Avondale NW was to obvious and
this was SnatchSquatech so I headed SE and found two marks. Shit. No
third mark. When I returned the Check was marked NW. So i headed NW on
Avondale and eventually saw Stiffy 4 Stiffies bright orange shirt and
ran straight for Pulaski. There I joined up with MM and BDB and we
worked the trail eventually up to a station and towards Irving Park.
They had skipped a turn and there were no marks on Irving Park. So I
played Frogger and ranged across the street. There were marks and I
yelled to BDB. He and MM ran straight east and eventually found marks
and MM was FRB and ON IN. Meanwhile I found more trail to the north and
some damn hare trail that kept going where I didn't think that sneaky
hare was going. I eventually finished the whole trail and came in DFL.
We circled there in reverse Bushman manner and just hung out for another
hour or so. On Out.
x
Mon Jun 13, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Po Po Pickup Game, J. Spencer and Garmin hared, from Metropolitan
Brewery. I had the best luck ever with three buses that got me to
Belmont and Western with zero waiting. Unfortunately, as I got off the
bus in pouring
rain, the bus drove off and the Tornado warning started. I rushed to a
bus shelter. They aren't really good shelters so I stood in the shelter
under my umbrella. A half hour later, after waiting and watching for a
tornado that never came, I was able to head to the start. No hares and
only two other hounds, Lower Wackoff and Lifa. The hares wanted to
cancel. Hell No. The hash doesn't cancel over a few raindrops and some
howling winds. So they finally showed up and set off on a live really
simple trail. We were joined by J Pat for four hounds. After a head
start we were off and running. Straight east to Western and a Check. J
Pat found trail to the north, but we didn't hear him calling On and
never saw him until the Beer Stop. Horn-E found that same trail,
eventually, and we headed north. And another Check. Horn-E wandered east
and north and eventually found another Check at Roscoe. Again a long
whistle to Lower Wackoff and headed west to an immediate Check and a
three way. WTF. Apparently two checks back, was supposed to go through
this mall to here, then to that other Check on Western. I returned as
Lower Wackoff arrived. Meanwhile Lifa going thorugh the mall so me head
east at the three way Check, He headed north and found a short cut to
trail. Meanwhile I was ranging east and then north when trail was found
by Lower Wackoff to the north. So, from then on, we have no idea were
the other two are, but it is Horn-E leading and Lower Wackoff following
to Addison, over to the street before the river and south through a
strip park to beer. Horn-E's whistle sort of worked, Lower Wackoff could
hear it, but couldn't tell which direction it came from. Hell, it was
loud enough to stop the soccer match, twice. At the beer stop we decided
to circle and eventually named Just Spencer. He shall forever more be
known as Stacys Neice. On Out
X
Swing Low and On ONHorn-E
The Tale of the Trailx
Thu. Jun 2, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
Mommys Coming hared from Temple Stowe for a small pack of seven
hounds. It was a short trail but it soon spread out due to a Check a
block from the start that had the pack going everywhere but the right
direction. It was a good check, but as it was, it spread us out. I found
myself running parallel to the pack heading north on Kedzie and soon
the pack headed west. And I slowly fell behind. Good bye to
SnatchSquatch, Dryrofoam, Stiffy 4 Stiffies, Brother Incisor and Hot
Mess Bench Press. That left me and Just Toki running and walking and way
behind. I was n front and then behind and always seeming to go the
wrong way. But I finally caught up to her just before the foot bridge
north of Lawrence and west of Kimball. From then on we walked and talked
and reacquainted ourselves. And on towards the University, but not
through it. And we slowly worked our way east and then through some park
by the river and north over Lawrence and eventually on in to the Snatch
Garage for a beer stop and circle. This was led by Brother Incisor.
After that we headed back to the bar for some social time. On Out.
x
Mon Jun 6, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
One Fuck Chuck was supposed to hare and I got a late message after my
posting on here. Foster, just west and north on Lake Shore Drive for an A
to B hash. Then I found on the CH3 web site that it would be hared by
Mommys Little Accident and Gay Dancer. Okay. I planned on coming, but a
medical procedure left me unable to run that night. Opps. Shit happens.
Then the next night I heard that One Fuck Chuck and Gay Dancer hared and
Mommys Little Accident was the only hound from Chicago. WTF. I also
heard there were three visitors and two virgins. Will the virgins ever
return. I'm sure everyone will tell them how much fun it is. But then,
if it is so much fun, why are there only three local hashers here? And
the three visitors will go home and say about the same thing. Doesn't
make Chicago look very good. Just relaying the facts as I know them.
Really, if that is so, it is really a sad state of affairs. But I've
been here through a lot of ups and downs in attendance. And this is affecting all of the local hashes. Coming back from
such low attendance is really hard and it takes some dedication from
all interested hashers to help bring things back up. It starts out with a
good hareline that has at least the next three weeks lined up. And the
next two weeks with iron clad locations. Make them work once listed.
Period. Quit switching around. Get it posted in advance so we can make
the hash are first choice and not something we will look at if we can't
find something else to do. Quit setting hashes and not inviting
everyone. Quit setting hash dates on some other hashes dates. We hashes are not
in competition, like hashes aren't about competition. We are supposed to
be about friendly helpful cooperation among hashers and hashes. Let
make it all work together. There are other things we can do, but no one
wants to listen to me, much less cooperate together. On Out
x
Tue. Jun 7, 2022. The 4X2H4 Hash, False
Advertising hared from an old favorite location, J & M Tap. But we
never returned for a few beers inside. Well, it was a small group. Three
old slow farts, Horn-E, Lower Wackoff and Just Do Me Slowly. The hare
told us it would be short, flat and dry like our mothers. Well, there
was only a little wet spot. The three of us took off to the north and
after a Split we followed Just Do Me Slowly to a Back Check. Horn-E
found that and around a building and north to Division. And suddenly a
late comer, Double Meter Beater blew right by me heading east. Well, at
Leavitt he was slowly leaving me behind, but a Split slowed him down. So
we start working our way east and north to a Check at Wicker Park. I
thought the other two saw me so I didn't mark the next two Splits, but
at that Check, they were never in sight and that went for the rest of
the trail. I found that Check and DMB found the next one. Then, are you
ready for this. Horn-E found the next two Checks and we are working the
trail together and trying to mark most things for the followers, LW and
JDMS. But they were busy looking for porta potties. And we ran on.
Finally to North and Western where we headed south and towards the On
In. That is where DMB slowly left me behind and I last saw him on
Division. But he marked Splitss with whatever he could find so we three old
farts could find trail, Sticks, stones, used condoms. Whatever works.
And we finally came in to a parking lot across from the bar and the hare
and a short circle that Lower Wackoff led. On Out
The Tale of the Trail
x
Wed,
May 25, 2022, The Whiskey Wednesday Hash, Magnetic Muff & Stuffin
Muffin hared from Old Plank Bar for 7 hounds. And it rained just before
the start which wiped out a few marks and made many hard to see. But
Magnetic Muff was sweeping. Like that would help. She couldn't remember
her own trail. We started out bad with the pack running right by the
first Check. But that blind old fart managed to see it and we were soon
on past faded marks and to another Check at a T corner. Lifa went Left
and was right and gone. Garmin went right and was wrong and J. Spencer
and Horn-E blindly followed without realizing there was a Check and
where. Ooops. Garmin returned to the Check and followed Lifa and by then
the sweep and the back of the pack, Just Do Me Slowly, Lower Wackoff
and False Advertising had come along and were also gone. Meanwhile J.
Spencer and Horn-E were Checking a block away from where the Check was,
Dumb F*cks. By the time we figured it out, they were all long gone. We
followed and I was finally left behind and never saw anyone again. J.
Spencer caught up and the pack managed to stay together in their utter
confusion on the marks. About ten minutes after Horn-E returned to the
start, the pack returned from the Whiskey Stop and we held a circle in a
parking lot. After I left, I heard that Stuffin Muffin did a header and
came up with one bloody head. Sorry man. Hope all is well. On Out. x
Thu. May 26, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
SnatchSquatch hared from Empirical Brewery with
a live trail. We were soon off and I found myself way behind at the
first Check, 50 yards away. WTF. I never saw anyone again until I got to
the beer stop. Checks happen. Then after a Split that wasn't swept, I
went the wrong way in a two block long loop that brought me almost right
back to the Split. Well, all I could do was enjoy what I could find. We
went on to a park where I found a Check and marked into the park by a
nature reserve, I went through that and found marks on the other side,
missing a two block long loop to the NE corner of the park. From then on
things weren't bad. Just more park, SW corner, and city streets and
more of the same damn park on the NW corner. At this point I figure I
was hopelessly behind and I should generally head to where there might
be a beer stop. And suddenly I see marks into that damn park again, only
this time at the NE corner. What I didn't know was that those were
marks from the beginning of that trail in the park. By the time I
figured that out, yeah, really f*cked up at this point. I ran on to a
parking lot by the tracks and their was the pack. From here it was a
change of location to Big Joes for the ON In. On Out l
x
Fri. May 27, 2022, The First Crack of the Moon Hash, Horn-E
hared from 1637 W. Glenlake. I thought that there might be a larger the
normal pack due to the big hash weekend ahead with visitors. Wrong. I
laid trail thinking 10 to 15 hounds. We had four at the start. And so
they were off and hopefully with Double Meter Beater running, he would
do a lot of the checking. Damn, he got 8 miles plus. They ran loops and
loops and all sorts of shit just getting from my house to Loyola campus
and back. Meat Inside Her and Berts Special Friend showed
up late and i directed them to a short cut and they regrouped. But they
still ran their asses off and J. Spencer finally quit and we had to
text Lower Wackoff to come on in. But we had a nice circle that was
small, but went on and on and a lot of fun. That was aided by bringing
out the old First Crack Hat for the rotating R As to wear. After that we
headed over to Barrel Man were they had a couple of rounds of good
beers. On Out
x
Sat May 28, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Mommys Coming and SnatchSquatch hared from Roosevelt Park. This is way
south of the loop and we ended up north east of the loop. I counted
about 22 hounds at the start, and a few joined us after. And a few
finally quit running and joined the walkers trail after being well into
that marathon trail. We started out with a Check at Roosevelt and State.
Now I might be slow but I still try and while a lot of hounds stood
around I headed up hill and across the street they found trail. So I was
near the front and we headed into a mall area just west of Clark. Now I
know there is only one way out unless you loop right back to the
entrance. They didn't. So I headed to the stairs in back, and was first
down the stairs, and knowing that to the south was a dead end, I
searched for the Check to the west and north and over to the river. That
is when the pack found trail to the east and from here on I was alone.
Yes again. If you have the guts to check things out, you win or lose. I
won at the first check and lost this one. Trail ran on over to the river
and along there and then worked our way through the loop. I ended up by
default on a Turkey trail and kept running on through the center of the
loop. At one point I couldn't get through the mob of people in front of
a theater. So I yelled out, "I've been running and I'm sweaty and I'm
going to rub myself all over you people unless you make a path." You
should have seen those old biddies move aside with expressions of horror
and this old gnome pushed on through. At Wabash, trail went south and
finally to a garage where we were told to take the elevator to the top.
Another mob waiting in line. Screw this. Only beer at the top and I
can't drink so I'm off looking for trail. I did hear that three hounds
walked up thinking it would only be about 5 floors. Eleven suckers. I
found trail to the Art Institute where there was a picture Check and a
bucket drum band and mobs of people. What the hell do they think this
is, a holiday or something? Thousands. And that was just the first
block. Anyway I follow the arrow to the south and towards the Bean.
Unfortunately that arrow pointed to the photo check that people were
standing on. About ten minutes later I finally returned and found the
true trail to the south. So I'm off and a Check by the twin Indians. I
search towards Buckingham Fountain and find trail into the Fountain area
and somehow ran between two arrows without seeing a damn thing. So I'm
now wandering south along Columbus and then heading west when I run into
Lifa. So we return to the fountain area and this time I find those
arrows and we are off in a loop around the fountain and then north along
Columbus and ups and downs land. Up to Randolph. west to Michigan.
north, west, lower lever, garbage dumps. down to river walk east to
Columbus, up 101 steps. a block later down 81 steps and then right back
up 76 steps, a loop CCW and into a park and back up about 65 steps and
then down again and back underground to a spot under Randolph east end
and the final beer stop. Is that about right SnatchSquatch? Can I have a
note, "F*ck you for being the hare, etc" Again, some people got 8
miles. From here we went to a grassy area on a hill and chased away the
local wild life for a short circle and then it was On Out
X
Sun May 29, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Mommys Little Accident and Gay Dancer hared from La Bagh Woods. I heard
a good woods trail, but the same familiar stuff. A beer stop at Roofie
Ragu's and back to the shelter for circle. The Dark Kunt ran a good
circle and I'm sure they ate well and drank well. On Out.
x
Mon May 30, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Lifa, The Cock Whisperer and Rusty Grundel hared from 1872 N. Clybourn.
Actually a Lifa Trail. I saw some marks on the way there and guessed
correctly and at a Check on Armitage the pack caught me and the leaders
passed me. Okay. I'm trying to stay in sight and not last as we head
down Cortland and over the bridge. I lost sight of the runners ahead and
missed a turn and went to the end of a factory zone. Nothing at the
exit on Ashland. Heading north to Webster. Nothing. Returned looking for
some marks somewhere coming out to Ashland, and found a Check. Across
Ashland and into the Metra Station. Here's a short cut. Only one way
out. Now heading south across Cortland and a Split by 606. So he is
taking the visitors up onto 606. I'll short cut and head south to North.
And there was a unmarked Check. In front? Behind? Both. Yeah, that was
it. So I find trail East on North and after a screw up at a Split, (Well
laid Lifa. Damn hare. ). I'm back on trail and a BN Check. This leads
to the usual beer stop South of North on the walking bridge. And I
wasn't last. We then head to the Rusty Grundel, Cock Whisperer, Castle
in the Sky, roof deck, for circle. And it is full of hashers who don't
run anymore or hardly ever, taking up all of the nice seats, from those
that are dog tired from running trail. Back Door Bizzle got a circle
going. Damn good one. Only missing thing was he didn't recognize the
Veterans on Memorial Day. Even though one old fart is half dead already.
On Out.
xSwing Low and On ONHorn-Ex
The Tale of the Trail
x
Thu. May 19, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
Garmin hared from Senn Park by Old young Abe at Ridge and Clark. We had
five hounds, all guys again. Hey, Harriets, it is warming up. You can
come out of hibernation. This was supposed to be a re. What a mob. Well it was a cool night and I'msure a lot of that pack were friends of the hares. On Outpeat
of a failed hash last winter, This meant Horn-E might be able to keep
up since he was at that hash. And he did. Trail headed east past Senn H.
S, and False Advertising was racing to the front. But he came from that
direction and probably saw some marks along the way. At the first Check
the trail went south a block and then into a series of alleys. J. James
took the lead here. At Broadway there was a Check and just as I got
there I heard an On On call from False Advertising in an alley across
the street, Yep, right like last time. I blew my whistle and we were
right after him and finally came to a Check at Ridge and Braodway.
SnatchSquatech and False Advertising were right On heading north on
Ridge and then into alleys and neighborhood streets. I followed and as I
came out of the alley I was passed by Second Coming and Just James. I
followed them to a Split at an alley and headed west. I knew were the
last trail went. but this one didn't. WTF. So I followed the old course
and came to a Check at the Military Memorial. Where was the pack? Behind
me. As I was checking, in the wrong direction they passed me in the
right direction. From here on
it was following them in neighborhood streets and alleys until we
returned to the start. We held a short circle there and then just hung
out for about a half hour before dispersing. On Out
x
Sat May 21, 2022, The Bushman Hash.
Horn-E hared from Lechowicz Woods. GD rain. Just before I got there it
started to rain. So I sat in this shelter waiting for a pause. It never
came, but 80 people came to claim that shelter for a birthday party. So I
headed over to the foot bridge for a start and we could wait under the
bridge. So now I have a direction. North over the river and into the
woods for some nice woods running. I wanted to CW through woods and past
that previous shelter just before the finish, But at the first Check, I
paused. It is raining. They won't be playing golf. A great time to run
the Golf Course in the summer. So It was a CCW direction as I looped
into the Golf course and a lot of good woods running areas. And the rain
kept coming and there was actually one lone golfer out there. WTF. But
I'm committed. At one point I left a tee and headed into some deep
woods. This is where I almost joined Gispert, hashing around the clouds
for eternity. I past this huge downed tree to the left and squeezed past
a tight area and headed for a slight hill fifty feet later. Then I
heard a loud Crack and looked back as a forty foot healthy tree fell
right were I just passed in that tight area. A minute or so after I
passed. And when I swept the trail later, that tree was right were I
was. I might have even marked trail on it. There would have been no
where to rum fast enough. Looked like a healthy tree, full of leaves, no
wind. I'm guessing it was just waterlogged with all of the recent rain
and fell over its own weight. So, what do you do. Finish trail. And as
I'm finishing, still raining there are golfers suddenly everywhere. WTF.
So I finally cross that starting foot Bridge and there is the pack,
just starting out, False Advertising, Lower Wackoff and Back Door
Bizzle. And the GD rain just stopped. So I ditched my gear and followed
the pack. Nice trail and woods hashing and everyone managed some time in
front. Several Checks along the way and we all stayed together and
finished together. Back under that foot bridge we held circle for
several rounds of Bushman style and finally False Advertising started
Swing Low and we were soon out of there. Great day in the woods and God,
I'm not ready to die yet. On Out
x
Mon May 23, 2022, The Chicago Hash. Florida Man, Poo La La and Homeless Granny Fucker were haring from Jonquil Park Park for 20 hounds. What a mob. Well it was a cool night and I'm sure a lot of that pack were friends of the hares.
I counted 20 hounds. Didn't get all of their names but two visitors and
three virgins were included. That was the good news. Now for the bad
news. They laid the trail in blue chalk. In the dark, and even on
asphalt. These younger guys that led the pack, might be able to see
those marks, but this old fart with failing eye sight was doomed to
failure. Started out fairly well as I was about 4th after the first
Check. But the pack passed me and at the First Check I was east of the
Check watching False Advertising heading east. Trail went west. From
there, except for those blue marks, actually looked like it was twisting
back and forth okay. I'm now in back with a virgin, (who left a virgin
in back with Horn-E) But she was okay and surrounded by a visitor Mudd
Wyfe and Coming Right Meow. So Lower Wackoff and I slipped past them and
ran on. Pack is now out of sight, two old farts trying to run and three
Harrietts walking. Then Horn-E runs Past a turn arrow, damn fading blue
chalk, and a long block later, no marks. So he and lower Wackoff return
and find trail. Damn, a half block later was an arrow going west into
an alley, a half block off of where I just ran. Damn. Well, I was now
falling behind Lower Wackoff and at Southport and School the trail
headed east. As far as I know it kept going east to Michigan City. I
found a few marks and once had to back track a block to verify I didn't
miss a turn, Nope, straight east. Finally I saw a bright white arrow.
Looking closer there was a faded Check there and the arrow pointing
straight east. Yeah, again. I never saw another mark. Three blocks later
I decided this was useless. Even my flashlight didn't help. So at
Sheffield, I just started walking on in a mile away. Got there about 5
minutes before the pack. And within minutes they started the circle with
four hounds still out there. Hey, weather is nicer and we might want to
wait a little longer before starting circle. Those slower runners are
also part of the pack. Those four I was with earlier. They barely got in
before the circle ended. And Berts Special Friend was leading the
circle. Then within minutes the pack started to dissipate until there
was little more the the usual suspects who weren't afraid of the dark.
Did manage to meet one of the virgins, Just Anthony, He already wants to
write songs. He better learn some first. Also met Mudd Wyfe before she
was lyfted off. On Out
x
Swing Low and On ONHorn-E
The Tale of the Trail
x
Thu. May 12, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
Hooch B4 Cooch hared from Output Lounge for a live traifor 9nounds. We
were soon off to the west and then worked our way north. We hit a quick
Song Check and Ugg won out. Then we were off. A lot of Splits and Checks
kept the pack together until it wasn't together anymore. At least I
wasn't part of it. Damn. I made my way to Division and a Check that
wasn't swept. Ranging west I ran into Meat Inside Her, Checking. I
missed a loop. But she was soon gone and then she was behind me and who
the fuck knows. So was SnatchSquatech behind me until he also wasn't. We
headed west and the last I saw of them was at a Check at Milwaukee. It
was swept to the south and I went south and never saw another mark. At
Augusta I found nothing, damn. I ranged the corner and finally decided
to range back towards the "Known" finish. And I never did see another
mark, but the pack was all there when I got there. SnatchSquatch led
circle and then they we\re off to the start bar. On Out
xSat May 14, 2022, The Chicago Full Moon Hash.
Lower Wackoff and Just Do Me Slowly hared from Warren Park for a grand
total of 4 hounds, the usual suspects. We got a late start but with
Berts Special Friend (the GM) and Meat Inside Her leading, we qould get
through that trail quick. Until they couldn't find the last Check. We
started out with a quick loop and then up the sledding hill for a Check.
We struggled a bit as no one took the hares dare to climb the fence to
the first mark. Meanwhile Horn-E is wandering all over except the hill.
Yeah, already. We finally got on track and Horn-E did manage to solve
that first check. A hundred yards later and he was DFL again. We went
around the south east end of the park and then north and into city
streets and a Check that regrouped the pack. Regroup? Hell, we couldn't
solve it. Horn-E finally went west, Again, Nothing. Going north a block
and there was Meat Inside Her flying by on trail. So he followed her to
Indian Boundary Park and a Check. She is doing her best to solve that
Check and win the Hash and Horn-E is still just following like a lost
mutt instead of a hash hound. Hell, that blind old fuck didn't even know
we were at a Check. So Finally we are joined by Back Door Bizzle and
they are off on another False. Well that old Horn Dog decides to run
past the last mark on a False and there is Just Do Me Slowly hiding
under a bench in the dark like a little lost troll. And she had beer. We
shouted ON On for about 10 minutes before those lost hounds were led in
to the Beer Stop by the sweep, Lower Wackoff. And they tell me I can't
hear. After here we went back to the start and the cars and headed over
to Cary's Bar and their back yard beer garden and grill were Meat Inside
Her grilled some damn good brats and we held circle. And the beer
flowed. On Out
x
Mon May 16, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Berts Special Friend hared from Skinner Park. I'd like to say it was a
great trail, but I'm not only not that good of a liar, but I and half
the pack never found the whole trail. Seems like the trail get sabotaged
at the start and the pack was lead astray for about a mile and a half.
By the time we recovered we were hopelessly spread out. But eventually
there was North Bangher Alley, Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Garmin off on their
own and not seen after crossing the Expressway. That is where I caught
up to False Advertising and we went wrong ways. I think he just made his
way back to th finish. I circled back and got on trail, now alone. Wow,
that is a lot of fun again. I headed west and eventually Just Do Me
Slowly, Bag of Ds, Lower Wackoff and a visitor Shark Laid No caught up.
And there was a Check and just as quick they are gone again. I did find
trail further west and finally just circled back to the start. I was
having to much fun running alone. And back at the start were various
hashers. Hooch B4 Cooch who found something and what I don't know. But
he missed the sabotage and was first back. Finally it was just that
front pack missing. And when they arrived, they were with Po Po Pickup
Game. Where did he come from? Hooch B4 Cooch led a short circle and we
were out of there. Stiffy 4 Stiffies drove by where I was waiting for a
bus and I got a ride home. And he won the lottery for a brand almost new
pair of shoes. On Outx
Swing Low and On ONHorn-E
x
The Tale of the Trail
x
Thu. May 5, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
Coming Right Meow hared from Butler Field. Hashers were wondering about
the hare after her last trail. but, Supiz supiz supiz, she did it.
Weather looked a bit iffy but at the start there was no rain and mild
temperatures. great for a hash. Rain wiped out some of the hares marks,
so she took off on a bicycle to relay the trail. We took off towards
Millinium Park and found our first Split, but Horn-E was right on that.
Yeah. like that would help. a short time later we missed a turn. but we
recovered and headed straight north and a few Splits later we passed the
bean and still staying together thanks to those Splits. At Randolph
there was a check and the trail headed east and around the concert area
and back south to the winding bridge. We didn't believe that Split and
were right on over the bridge. At the end we had a bunch of Splits as we
worked our way to Monroe and over to the lake front. We regrouped at
the light and were soon off along the lakefront to the south and finally
a LSD crossing at Bundy Fountain. From here were worked the pathways
south and a long loop and then back near and on Columbus Drive to a beer
stop at Butler Field. where Castro Dick Assist came in FRB. Then we
headed to the hare's castle in the sky and the hare was into the Sinko
do Mayo and a day for Mexican food. Without Mayonnaise. On Out
x
Sat May 7, 2022, The Big Dog Hash. Lifa laid trail from Humbolt Park. I
won't say this was a great trail. Rules of hash trashes. And it wasn't.
But the hare did lay a real twisting trail that had the pack confused
front start to finish, and mostly close together. We just experienced
one of the dreariest springs in memory with more then enough rain and
never enough sunshine. So this was sort of the first day of summer. Blue
skies, warm temps, sun and cold beer and salsa music everywhere. And
the pack gathered. Wow. What a crowd. The usual suspects, Horn-E, Back
Door Bizzle, Lower Wackoff and False Advertising. After we took off on
trail we had two late cummers, Stuffin Muffin and Magnetic Muff. Yep,
the Usual Suspects. The people formerly known as hashers were still
hibernating I guess. Or just quit hashing. The trail. We took off
through paths to the north and FA took the lead. Over to the building by
the lagoon and under the bridge to the left. I almost short cut over
the street and I would have come upon the marks for the ON IN. Lucky
hare there. A Check by a bridge under construction stalled us but we
finally found trail to the south and around this finger of water and
then back north by little Cubs Park. here is where the late cumers
caught up to us. Again, along the lagoon and then west into city
streets. A block later and a Check. FA went south. Gotcha. The late
cumer MM found trail to the north and was off into the lead. And we
headed back to the park, And the lagoon and another Check. Near the
lagoon and a kiddie park. So the old fart heads through the kiddie park
and was almost on the ON IN trail when the hare sweeping, called Horn-E
back. Trail headed north to Humboldt and North. City streets again. No,
not yet. Back into the park and heading towards the North East of the
park. Speculation. Back to city streets to circle that other trip into
city streets. Never try to out guess the hare. We headed north instead
of west. There was a Split by an alley and I headed east and was on.
Well MM was still ahead and out of sight. But I passed back the wordand
we were on and eventually heading back towards Humbolt Parkway. A Split.
We followed MM north to a Check. Duh. Right under the 606 trail. How
easy can it get. Not that damn easy. Much later we are still standing
around with our fingers up our asses, Well, at least not each others. So
Finally Horn-E heads south. Still nothing. Into the parkway and there
is an arrow on a sewer cover. Then 2 and then 3 and that old fart blows
his whistle and is ON heading east. Yeah, like that would last. A Split
trail headed east. Horn-E headed south into Octopus country and coming
out right behind FA. From here it was into the park and working our way
past were Horn-E almost twice found On In trail and then south on
Humbolt Drive to Buffalo Country and the beer stop. FA was FRB and damn,
the old fart came in 2nd. Lower Wackoff was delayed and DFL as he tried
to pick up a fresh Mexican Taco. After a brewski, we headed to the
start area where we gathered among the flowers, Dandy Lions are flowers.
We circled Big Dog style and relaxed in the beautiful sunshine and you
missing hounds missed it. On Out
x
Mon May 9, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Dr Cockvorkian and Death By Bukkake hared from McGee's. Wow. Even in
the Green zone and we can't break ten hounds in a city of 3,000,000
people. Only 8 of us. Trail headed north under the El Tracks and get
this, Horn-E was leading. A Triple Split, a Check, a Split and Horn-E
was still ahead. WTF. But at a Song Check, a quick verse of Swing Low
and then he didn't see the arrow to the south and headed East and North.
By the time he returned, DFL again. At the next check, everyone was
gone accept North Bangher Alley heading south and Lower Wackoff waiting
to mark the Check. Horn-E went north again and spent the next half hour
trying to catch the pack. Eventually through OZ Park and then west.
Finally after a Check at Sheffield, I ran into Po Po Pickup Game. From
here we struggled as things got darker and arrows were constantly in
shadows. We finally game up to a beer stop and the pack. Horn-E didn't
stop and ran on. North and along the Clybourn corridor, back and forth
as trail headed North. Finally came to a Check that was rough to solve. I
checked east and north and around and finally back to the Check and the
pack caught up. They couldn't find anything either. So I went on a big
loop and headed east on Fullerton before heading south. Came to a street
corner and checked all four corners. Nothing. Headed west and all of a
sudden the pack is fast approaching and heading east on the other side
of the street. I guess they found trail were I stopped looking because I
went far enough without a third mark. WTF. But a few blocks later and
we are at the 2nd beer stop. after beer we headed back to the bar and
ended up under the El tracks for circle. We made North Bangher Alley
play RA and I won't admit it in print, but she did a decent Job. Ooops. I
didn't say that. ON Out
xSwing Low and On ON
Horn-Ex
The Tale of the Trail
x
Wed
Apr 27, 2022, The Whiskey Wednesday Hash. Dickens Cider laid a trail
from Go Tavern. An A to B trail for 7 hounds that ended up at her home.
We started out to the west and it started out with a lot of up one
street and down the next and back again. finally it revolved intto a big
clockwise spiral. I was falling behind with Stuffin Muffin and we
finally caught up to the pack at Palmer Square. I ran past Lower
'Wackoff looking for trail on a Check. Magnetic Muff pointed to an alley
and said Lifa went that way and didn't return. So I followed and it was
a three block long alley with no marks. Whehn I got back to Palner
Square the pack was gone. But I managed to find an arrow and was off
playing catch up. And On and On. Finally went down an apparent Dead End
alley that wasn't and at the end I caught up to Lower Wackoff. He had
heard Just Do Me Slowly, but guessed the sound wrong. So from here it
was the two of us running on and on and eventually to the home of.
Slippery Fingers and Fire In The Hole for a shot stop and then we walked
to Dickens Cider's Home for the ON IN. We picked Just Do Me Slowly to
lead the circle and she did a decent job. Also on trail was False
Advertising who I never saw after the start until the Shot stop. FRB. On
Out
x
Thu
Apr 28, 2022, the Thirstday Hash. Brother incisor and J' Paulie laid
trail from that bar on Buena. We had a dozen hounds for this trail and
an a to b hash. Trail worked its way south to a block south of Irving
Park on Clark and our first Check. Should be simple. Keep it simple and
teach a virgin hare the ropes. Yeah sure. Trail was found east towards
the lake. Three marks and then nothing else. WTF. We searched and
eventually trail was found to the west. But meanwhile, after ranging
south and finding nothing I went back to the mistake trail. I ranged all
over and under Lake Shore Drive looking for marks. Of course nothing.
So, rangeing
back along Irving Park looking for trail to eventually cross there, I
suddenly run into Furry Spice. He mentions something about a Split and
then we see a mark heading straight north. From Irving Park to Montrose.
No turns. J. Paulie, don't learn that trick. Well, trail went to
Montrose and left to the tracks and On In under the Red Line. Somehow I
just managed to beat the DFLs. And apparently there was other troubles
along the way. Whatever they were, I never heard. But we circled and
then got around to naming J Paulie. He will forever more be known as Hot
Mess Bench Press and don't ask me why. Then it was back to the bar I
headed to the el with Coming Right Meow. On Out
x
Fri Apr 29, 2022, The First Crack of the Moon Hash.
SnatchSquatch hared from Gill Park right wear the bad check from the
night before was located. Small pack of five and we followed
the live hare, SnatchSquatch. I quickly fell behind as Meat Inside Her
and Berts Special Friend disappeared to the front. I was barely keeping
the visitor Heiney Girl and Back Door Bizzel in sight as we headed past
Wrigley Field and then a loop back towards the south and west before
working our way back to the start. I lost those two and struggled over a
few marked checks with a few options that were confusing. I finally
lost trail about two blocks north of Addison and about two blocks from
the start/finish. Guess which way I went. Short circle and then across
Clark to a bar for a few rounds. On Out
x
Mon May 2, 2022, The Chicago Hash.
Lower Wackoff and Just Do Me Slowly hared from River Park. Lower
Wackoof was prepared with 2, 30 packs for what used to be ChicagoH3's
biggest regular Hash of the year. In the 80s we used to get 5o hashers
on the first Mon Night hash. We got five. WTF. Where is everybody. It is
May. I know, not perfect weather, but it was nice enough this night.
Trail was a little confusing at the start but we finally got on trail
and worked our way south for two blocks and then to the east. We were
sort of together trying to keep the FRBs in sight and then they weren't
in sight and I'm in back with Stuffin Muffin trying to catch up. We got
up north to Bryn Mawr when I was suddenly in from at a Check. How the
hell did that happen. But the FRBs were soon taking the lead again and
I'm barely staying in front of Stuffin Muffin. We finally come to a
Check at this park and High School and no one can find the trail. I head
north towards Peterson and find nothing. So I head west in front of the
school and go a loooong way without a mark and suddenly there is a
Split. Got to be On. No one goes that far for a False. So I blow my
whistle and run on.Yeah, three marks later I miss a turn and I'm back in
back again with Stuffin Muffin. We got over to this park along the
river and it was zig zag along and in the park until we came to Just Do
Me Slowly's house. A leisurely beer and off to the start for circle.
Circle was short for me. Had to catch the last bus on Foster. But I came
up with a hash Name for Just Do Me Slowly's Mom. She wasn't there, but
we had JDMS do a down down for her Mom. Mama UMeDoMe. For anyone who
doesn't know, Yumi is her real name and Do Me is part of her hash name.
Hey, have fun with it. So they hung out with 64 beers to finish. On Out
x
Tue May 3, 2022, The 4X2H4 Hash. Lifa hared from Skinner Park at Monroe and Throop.
When I looked up directions and time for the buses I was given 29 hours
and change to Monroe and Throop in Brooklyn New York. By bus. Google
gets worse every time I try to use it. Isn't that stuff supposed to get
better over time. Anyhow,
I forgot the trail starts at 7:00 sharp. So Lifa gives me a short cut
and I'm off and running. Actually it was a good trail, but again, no one
bothered to come except myself and Lower Wackoff and Just Do Me Slowly.
Bad weather? Not really. Just a light mist in the air. And it is only
the old farts that show up and all of these young kids are sitting home
still hibernating. Yeah, I'm picking on you all. So I get to where Lifa
directed me and was a few blocks behind the pack of two. A Split and
then a Marked Check and I finally see then ahead after a suckers loop,
laid for some FRBs that never showed. So they come to a Split at Lake
and I figure to take a short cut in an alley to catch up with them. And
they were off on another of LIfa's loops for the FRBs and now I'm ahead
and looking back for them. So I'm checking and trying to mark splits and
Checks and I run on and on finally coming to a park at Lake and
Ashland. Checking. Returning from a False and they finally catch up to
me. We work that check and almost lost Just Do Me Slowly thinking she
was ahead and she's behind. But a few blocks later we are at the On In
at Skinner Park. A very short circle led by Just Do Me slowly and we
were on our way home. You all missed a good trail. On Out
x
Swing Low and On ON
Horn-E
x
The Tale of the Trail
X
Thu. Apr 14, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
Dyrafoam hared from Big Joe's for a small pack of four of us. And you
know who ran damn near the whole hash alone. We took off to the north
and Brother Incisor took off leading to the west after a block. Yeah,
like that lasted. Meanwhile I'm running behind and after running all the
way to Damen following a fast pack, they were all gone. Shit damn fuck.
Alone again. At Damen and Foster there was a Check. And a big park to
the south west. I ran south and found a mark, but no elusive 3rd mark.
So I ranged into the park and after to big of a loop I found no marks. I
exited at Foster and heading east I found trail on the north side of
Foster right were the trail headed north. After several blocks there was
a Split, swept to the west. Hey, after that Check I'm way behind. They
will have to loop back by the cemetery. Go straight. I did and sure
enough, there was trail. So now we are heading east and south for two
blocks and on east. A block later there was a turn north. Now I know
where this was going so I headed straight. Damn, all the way to Ashland
and no marks at any intersection. So now it was south for two blocks and
back west. Still no marks. Finally at Ravenswood I found a mark into
the tunnel. And just then, Brother Incisor blew by me damn determined
that she would beat the old mam. By about 15 seconds to a beer stop in a
parking lot up by the metra tracks. And we held a quick circle there.
Then it was back to Big Joes. On Outx
Fri Apr 15, 2022, The Chicago Full Moon Hash. Meat
Inside Her laid trail from Beaumonts for a six pack of hounds. We
wandered to the west through streets and alleys as Berts Special Friend
and Double Meter Beater ran off and left myself and Just Do Me Slowly
and Lower Wackoff behind. Son Of Spam was walknig part of the trail and
knew where the beer stop was. We finally came to a Check and this old
fart found the trail in an alley by the El tracks. And as I ran through a
parking lot, BSF and DMB caught up and were soon gone. So now it was
Horn-E leading JDMS through alleys and streets and finally Lower Wackoff
caught us just west of Clybourn. I was returning to mark a Check that
BSF solved for me when he caught up. So, now it was the three of us and
I'm desperately trying to stay ahead for once and not be DFL. But
finally while going through the De Paul Campus, I missed a turn. LW went
back and found it and passed me. Damn. A block later my damn weak ankle
started acting up and JDMS passed me. And so I am now walking on the
bad ankle and get to Oz Park. Heading west I see a turn arrow on a path
into the park. So I shortcut to that path and short cut the BN Mark to
where the pack was hiding in the shadows. Well. not really hiding, but
in the dark I didn't see them. And so I end up doing a big loop around
the park before they spotted me. So we held circle by the athletic field
in the shadows, Full Moon Style. Then I headed home to get ready to lay
a Bushman trail the next morning. On Out f
x
Sat. Apr 18, 2022. The Bushman Hash, #203.
Almost 17 years of consistently hashing on the 3rd Sat of every month
without fail. And still other hashers hi jack other hashes and hare in
direct opposition to the Bushman. So, only two hashers showed up, Lower
Wackoff and Just Do Me Slowly. Horn-E hared from Forest Glen Forest
Preserve. Mother
nature was late this year with the annual April flowers which were at
about 10 to 20%. But the trail was nice and easy to follow, except when
it wasn't. Checks. While they had no trouble following trail, there were
two Checks near Central that really screwed them over. One was just
before the bridges over the river. Real trail was up by the road instead
of the foot bridge. And both hounds got sucked into running through
some real deer shiggy under Central at rivers edge. But JDMS finally
found the trail and they ran off to almost immediately another Check on
the other side of the river in the woods. LW managed to get sucked into a
long False and JDMS eventually found trail along the river. This
eventually led to the Metra tracks, lower level where there was a small
drainage stream from some wet lands. Soft mud on both sides. I tried and
was really starting to sink is. So I wandered around and about fifty feet away, gravel and sand instead of mud and a short jump. I told them
to just find another way when they got there. JDMS just plunged right
in. Of course she is so light she didn't sink in anywhere as near as I
would have. From here it was along the little island to the RR trestle
and then on in through some nice woods and a light coating of flowers on
the forest floor. We circled up at a picnic bench along the river for a
few beers and a Bushman circle. And On Out. Now, nothing to do on
Sunday because that hash date was changed.
x
On ON and Swing LowHorn-E
x
The Tale of the Trail
X
Mon Apr 4, 2022, The First Crack of the Moon Hash. Horn-E
hared from Legion Park for five of the usual suspects. That is those
that have consistently been coming around since Covid, especially in the
cold miserable weather of winter. It is spring and time for the rest of
the hashers to come out of hibernation and enjoy free spirited hashing
again. Now, how did the hare screw up this trail. He immediately sent
them off to the south and through wet grass. Damn rat bastard. And a
block later they left the park for more pavement pounding with a nasty
Check. Or Two. and the hare went out to set a quicky beer stop. Trail
went to this footbridge over the river and the hare was waiting for them
with the nicest view of the hash. That wasn't saying much for views.
And who should arrive first. Berts Special Friend who wasn't even there
at the start. What else is new. But we all gathered on a nice evening.
We finally couldn't wait any longer and made Just Do Me Slowly finish
her beer on trail and they were off. With a good Back Check led by BSF.
Then around Home Depot parking area and into city streets. They ran on
until another back check on Jersey that caught Lifa and suddenly Stuffin
Muffin pulls into the beer stop as FRB. This was right across the river
from the start in another strip park. Also on trail was Lower Wackoff.
On Out.
xTue. Apr 5, 2022,
The 4X2H4 Hash. Lifa hared from Harrison Park. Seven hounds. Good. Only
Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her showed up late. And Horn-E
even later. They caught up to the pack and Horn-E didn't. He even missed
circle. Mudsucker showed up. Welcome back from hibernation. I ran trail
that was sort of well marked until it wasn't at archer and 18th St. I
lost trail there and finally realized I was at a Check as I ended up
seeing a mark pointing to where I already was. I did find the True trail
mark, but now realizing I'm to far behind to ever catch up, I ranged.
Trail went east and north under the tracks and then west until Wood
Street and under the tracks again for a beer stop out of any potential
rain. Meanwhile I ranged correctly and finally headed north on Wood St.
Unfortunately that is where the pack went after the beer stop and there
were no marks there. So I was on, but on invisible marks. Back at the
park I turned west as I got to the park and right ahead of me, in
shadows, was the pack and circle. But I didn't see them. Meanwhile I
wandered all over the park looking for any trace of a trail. Not.
Finally going by that same section a second time, I saw some people in
the shadows, Went over there and it was the circle, after circle and ten
minutes later everyone went on or home and so did I. On Out.
xThu. Apr 7, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
Dickinme Twofiddy hared for his last time in Chicago. FOYC. Location
was Seward Park,. He deserved better because some of his trails were
pretty decent. This one was, well, we don't know because no one finished
it. I think that was a lot of our fault. The pack that is. We got about
two blocks into trail and already SnatchSquatch was long gone and ON.
Until he wasn't and ran and ran and finally caved and returned. I was
back with the pack and we got to that Check and the leaders were running
about but didn't seen to be working things right. Garmin was running
around like a chicken with his head cut off, but not finding trail. Then
he was gone and eventually back at the start as FRB. Lost. I finally
found trail for the rest of us and blew my whistle. They came and I
directed Steps In Shit in one of the directions of a Split. Never saw
him again on trail and trail didn't go that way. He finaly returned and
after moving his car, came in DFL. Now that leaves Horn-E and Famming
Flaggott. We went the other way on that Split, Didn't go far enough.
Returned to Split and since Steps In Shit hadn't returned, we followed
that direction. A big fat nothing. So we returned and went the original
way again and farther this time. Finally found a mark and then another
Check. That is when we decided the trail was f*cked and we needed a
tree. We returned to the start. So, that is it and I'm sticking with it.
We really needed to work together, better, a problem I often see on
trail. And this day really showed it. A quick circle and off to a pub.
ON Out.
x
Sat. Apr 9, 2022. The Big Dog Hash.
Son Of Spam and Berts Special Friend hared from Lo Rez Brewery. Never
let those two hare after drinking a six pack each and then carrying
around some elderberry wine on trail. The usual suspects showed up in
force. Well, eight of us. Zone 2 would be walking and the rest of us
took off to the east with arrows the size of the hares dicks. Hey, even
our Mayor has a bigger dick. And she never lies. This trail was back and
forth with a lot of back shit. At a Check I found myself following Lifa
and no one behind us. We got to 18th St, and headed east. This trail
was getting tighter then a 12 year old virgin's twat. I'm guessing here.
She said she was a teenager and I'm sticking to that story. We wandered
a few alleys and crossed trail at least once. I think. And a loop back
was within about 10 feet of a turning arrow. I'd like to say well done
hares. It was. But I will never do that in print. So you didn't see that
here. The hares were trying to take away Horn-E's title of Rat Bastard.
But in reality, more like Dick Wads. And if you don't know what that
is, ask Zone 2. We finally hit a Check. Lifa, myself, Lower Wackoff,
Magnetic Muff, were all at different times standing about 10 feet from
the On Out trail and didn't see the arrow behind the second column
holding up the tunnel. Rat Bastards and Dick Wads. I went ranging to
the south east. Magnetic Muff almost followed. Lifa was off on a long
loop to no where before returning on Halsted from the far north and
finding marks. False Advertising was up on the tracks. He found nothing,
but some fat railroad dicks almost caught him as he raced back to
ground level and headed under the tracks. By the time I returned, all
were gone. And suddenly, I found that damn hidden arrow. As I head
north, there is Stuffin Muffin heading across Halsted. I climb down to
street level and almost stumbled into on coming traffic. You aren't
going to hit this old man yet. We headed west and another Check. I
ranged again and this time I, no I didn't find trail. I was the wrong
way again. I returned and saw Magnetic Muff disappearing under the
tracks heading south. From here on I ran alone, occasionally spotting
Magnetic Muff way ahead. I came into this park across from Lo Rez
Brewery and there was the pack. Including Just Do Me Slowly. Where was
she on trail? To short to see again. And especially for an old man
going as blind as he is deaf. And finally Lower Wackoff came on in. He
fell behind going back and marking Splits and Checks for slow bastards
like Horn-E. But the old Horn Dog fooled him and got ahead. So, where
are the hares. Drinking at Son Of Spam's house. And suddenly they are
there. Berts Special Friend carrying a microphone for our tiny circle.
Hey, the circle was small enough that even Horn-E heard most of the
accusations. Well some of them. And Son Of Spam came in dressed like a
giant can of span with two knobby legs sticking out the bottom and I
think that was his head sticking out the top. So circle was held. Big
Dog style. And we were off. Meat Inside Her took Berts Special Friend
home and to bed to sleep it off. Or so she said. Son Of Spam went home
for a dinner of Spam on a stick. Everyone else headed home and Horn-E
headed off chasing young bunnies. That is my story and I'm sticking to
it. On Out.
x
Sun. Apr 10, 2022, 2:00pm, The Chicago Hash. False
Advertising and Crotch Fire hared this mess. All right, it was. A
repeat of an old trail that everyone missed most of. Well, guess what.
They missed most of it again. Maybe it is the hares fault. Anyway, about
14 hounds on trail. I followed the CTA's directions to get there
fifteen minutes ahead of the start and arrived 15 minutes late. Yes,
again. There
were marks to B for late comers. I followed them behind Blooms. The
chocolate smells in the breeze were the only good smells down in that
hole were the local gangs do their drug deals. And no hares in sight. So
I take off on trail backwards with my back pack for the shag wagon that
wasn't there. The trail was the usual shit in that area. Back and
forth, river level and upper level, crossing tracks and going down one
side of the street only to return on the other side. and suddenly there
it the pack coming my way lead by Hooch B4 Cooch. This quick? Yeah. This
quick. They found a short cut and missed over half of the trail. As a
matter of fact, the heroes of the day were Lifa, the FRB and Lower
Wackoo the DFL. But they were the only ones who did the whole trail.
Well done. On Out
X
On ON and Swing Low
Horn-E
The Tale of the Trail
xWed Mar 30, 2022, The Whiskey Wednesday Hash, Dickinme Twofiddy hared from Delilah's at 2771 N. Lincoln. They had a small turnout of about 4 due to rain.
x
Thu. Mar 31, 2022. The Thirstday Hash, Gay Dancer and One Fuck Chuck hare out of Empirical Brewery at 1801 W. Foster, They had cans of Empirical Beer for circle. Hey, OK.
x
Sun. Apr 3, 2022, The Chicago Hash, Lifa
hared from Welles Park at Montrose and Western. Lifa's 30th anniversary
Hash. Thirteen Hounds took off to the north and west and the usual Lifa
back and forth and a quick regroup with a long back check. Then we
headed further north and eventually crossing Lincoln to the east and
north of Lawrence. By now I'm in back with Lower Wackoff and he falls
back and I'm alone. We head on and at a large park, we do a loop through
it and then head south. And Lower Wackoff catches up. A block south is a
Check marked with a stick. Not always accurate and sure enough Muffin
Stuffin is coming back from going a long block the wrong way. From here
on it is the three of us, heading west and then south in alleys
paralleling Lincoln and south of Lawrence. We catch a Back Check here
and Horn-E takes the lead crossing Lincoln and south to Welles Park. And
a BN Check.Horn-E finds it to the south and through the park to an
alley and a Split. From here it heads to western and Montrose where we
regroup. Then we head west and right into an alley that leads a few
blocks to a Beer Stop in a parking Lot. Trouble is, as we were heading
west in the alley, the front of the pack is leaving the beer stop and
heading back on Montrose to the start in Welles Park. I guess we don't
matter if we're running late. All to often pattern lately. We held an
all to short circle led by Brother Incisor and then the pack dispersed.
Most went to a bar at Sunnyside and Lincoln where Hash Cash bought the
first round. On Out. x
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E .
The Tale of the Trail
X
Thu.
Mar 24, 2022. The Thirstday Hash, SnatchSquatch had a surprise co hare
in Homeless Granny Fucker as they laid trail out of Templestowe for 8
hounds. We took off to the west and I was actually in front. Yeah, one
hundred feet. But I was on the right Split and we headed south on Kedzie
for a block. By now they are passing me and trail headed west and we
were off on a CCW loop. Mostly west and back and forth between Montrose
and one block south. We did come to a Check at the exit of an alley and
when I got there the pack was scattered. But I didn't see anyone head
straight west in the alley. I eventually did and that was the last I saw
of anyone. I was ON, and apparently those that weren't, soon were by
ranging or seeing someone a block away and short cutting. And with the
tight loop that the hares set, I believe that was what happened for most
of the trail. The FRBs find the trail and as they are looping around
others got nice short cuts. Meanwhile I'm on my own and it was well laid
in that with the rainy weather expected, the marks were in flour and
BIG. So I had no trouble in finding the trail. Went past Dickens Cider's
old apartment, in the alley and back around the front and then back
east. Again, a narrow corridor of no more then two blocks north and
south and heading east. Guessing became easy and I only guessed wrong on
one Split. But that was soon right back ON. Finally ended at the
asshole of the Snatch, the garage behind SnatchSquatch's house. And they
were already done with circle. So about ten minutes later we returned
to the start and just hung out there, warm. On Out.
x
Sun. Mar 27, 2022, The Chicago Hash, This was supposed to be Homeless
Granny Fucker haring after getting a haring lesson from SnatchSquatch
on Thursday. But suddenly he had a cohare in Brother Incisor. And then
he never showed up and Brother Incisor hared alone. And that is how I
got the story. But it gets worse, or maybe just the same old thing and
then worse. The start was from Harrington's. I got there five minutes
late, right with the arrival of Back Door Bizzle. And the pack was gone
at 2:33. We followed, him with his dog and me with my back pack. The
whole damn way. But that was a blessing in disguise, sort of. Later on
that. We headed south to Oz Park and then west a block to Lincoln and a
Check. Lower Wackoff was there waiting until the Check was solved. We
finally guessed east and we were off. La Shartisie blew on by us coming
off of a False. He was soon long gone. So the three of us ran like we
were the only ones on the course as most marks were not swept. Over to
the Zoo, north in the park and eventually at the Gazebo we headed west a
block. North to Diversey and then east to Sheridan. Straight north and
then it gets interesting. It started to look like exactly the same
course as the hare laid on Mar 3. WTF. So we followed along taking turns
leading and eventually working our way up to Sheffield and Addison.
Here Back Door Bizzle had to turn back, get his car and head to work. So
it is now me and Lower Wackoff. This whole time, it wasn't that we had a
hard time finding trail. Mostly quite predictable and well marked, but
we're slower then everyone else. So we run on straight west and then
south and I managed to get ahead at a couple of Checks, but LW is always
right behind me a block or so. Then going south on Racine, there was a
turn east and at the alley it continued south. I never saw LW again. And
I kept looking. So On to Diversey and south on Lincoln and eventually
to the beer stop, just like Mar 3. And when I get there, there is a
Check Mark and a message, "May the hash go in peace." WTF. A little over
6 miles and another hash with no circle and this time, no pack. WTF. They didn't know about me and Back Door Bizzle. But they
knew Lower Wackoff was out there. It turns out that Back Door Bizzle
actually ran by Jonquil park were the beer stop and circle were just
finishing up. He told them we were out there running trail. And they
didn't wait. Did they just go home? Did they go to a bar? Did thye care
at all? Sounds very unhashlike to me. But what do I know. I'm new at
this. Lower Wackoff eventually got to the Beer Stop and found the same
and wondered what the hell happened. All I do know for sure is I'm glad I
didn't put a big in the shag wagon. I'd still be wondering where it
was. On Out
x
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E
x.
The Tale of the Trail
X
Thu. Mar 17, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
Rusty Grundel hared from Kelly's Pub for ten hounds. We took off to the
north in side streets and the FRBs were soon pulling away. By the time I
got to the De Paul campus they were gone. But a Triple Split soon
regrouped me with Lifa. We crossed Fullerton and into alleys toward
Lincoln and as we crossed Lincoln he pulled away and I was joined by our
virgin J. Allison running with That Thing That Vibrates. But
they also pulled away and I last saw them heading east on Fullerton.
Again I was briefly joined by Lifa as we entered a loop north to
Wrightwood and back to Fullerton. As I was resolving a Split on
Fullerton, Brother Incisor caught up with me. We crossed Fullerton and
headed back to Lincoln. Here I found trail heading south. This
untimately led to a Check at Oz Park. Brother Incisor eventually found
trail through Oz Park as I was out searching False Trails. I eventually
followed and trail crossed Armitage and into Mansion Row. Again another
loop as trail came back north on Halsted. From here it went straight
west and eventually after a quick loop to Armitage I found a Check at
Sheffield. This took a little time before I found trail into an alley
that eventually led me out to some construction across the street with
an arrow pointing right at it. Not. The hare's arrows didn't always
point exactly where the trail went and after screwing around I finally
found trail off to the side. Well this led me to a Check at Clybourn.
We're getting there. Yeah sure. I found trail and went into s few side
streets and suddenly an arrow into an alley. Never saw another mark and I
worked that area for another ten minutes. Finally called it and ran
straight east on Webster to the bar. And the pack was already halfway
through the circle. That was soon over and the pack soon dispersed. On
Out.
x
Fri, Mar 18, 2022, The Chicago Full Moon Hash. Son
Of Spam and Coma Toast laid a trail from from Smith Park, in rainy
conditions. Apparently they used flour and I only heard one complaint.
The marks were to far apart. I wanted to go and was dressed to go when a
wave of heavy rain came through and I had a 6 block walk just to get to
the El. And coming home meant a loooooong ride back on Western bus with
detours. and I had to get up the next day to lay the trail in soggy
woods. NO excuses, just lame reasons. Meat Inside Her, Berts
special friend, Lifa and Lower Wackoff showed up and apparently the
rain let up enough for the hash and then came down later. On out
X
Sat. Mar 19, 2022, The Bushman Hash. Horn-E
laid trail from Lechowicz Woods for 5 hounds. Beautiful day with soggy
grounds for running. We took off south and through a small prairie
following False Advertising and then some woods before going over the
the tracks on the bike path. Here was a bit of relatively open woods
hashing and then we went into the area were we struggled last month on
the no wimps hash and the cracking ice. From here the hare laid a long
back check to find the location were he fell through the ice last month.
A nasty ditch with a foot of water at the bottom. But back to trail and
we headed back north through some woods following Lower Wackoff and
Zone 2 along the river to the Tracks and the trestle over the river. By
here we had lost all sight of Lifa who missed the concept of the Back
Check. Hey, I've done this before. This was just a bit longer. Anyway,
trail dipped down near the golf course and the last one I watched
heading through there was Back door Bizzle and $20 Butt Slut. This
eventually came out and we went along the railroad tracks. There was one
section where you could see a lot of Golf Balls along the golf course. A
good day and all of the hibernating golfers came out and opened up the
Christmas package of a dozen golf balls. then they promtly hit most of
then out of bounds. Got a bit rusty Huh. At the finish we must have
gotten about 30 balls, and looking brand new. I digress. A short loop
inbto some woods and then a short trip through Edgebrook woods and on
in. While laying trail I saw a freight train go by. It was the longest
one I ever saw. Even an engine in the middle. And it was on the south
bound tracks, heading north. Eventually a Metra train came by on the
north bound tracks. About five minutes later an Amtrac train came by.
And the freight was still going northApparently the freight was on the
wrong track s to let those other two trains pass it. But this damn train
was so long, that where it was suppossed to merge back to the north
bound tracks came up and the passenger trains hadn't ogot there yet.
Train hell. It stopped and blocked all roads going north from Central to
who knows were, But miles north. It was stopped for over 20 minutes. I
was barely able to get around the back of it.
I digress
again. Shut this damn writer down. We held circle under the bike bridge
over the river and then adjourned to an Irish bar for a Guiness. When
it takes about 10 minutes to pour a Guinness, you know they are doing it
right. On Out.
x
Sun. Mar 20, 2022, The Chicago Hash, Dick
Hermonica hared from Roosevelt Park and the starting location was,
well, screwed up. There was a CH3 mark on the pavement leading into the
park and an arrow pointing south and crossed out. I didn't see anyone I
thought were hashers, so I assumed the start was changed for some
reason. So I went to the park north of there. Nothing. So I went south
where I had seen some arrows andfollowed them. They went by one park and
on south. I eventually got to the next park and no marks. Circling back
I came to a Park that turned out to be a Shot Stop, WTF. I headed back
towards what was suppossed to be the start, to verify that the mark was
crossed out and I was now in a real bitching mood. And suddenly the pack
is coing my way. From where the start was suppossed to be. But why in
hell would an arrow pointing to the start be crossed out. WTF. Okay, so I
go to the shot stop and drop ff my bag and finally get on trail with
the pack. Not the best laid trail, but reasonable with a lot of Splits.
West over the Roosevelt Road Bridge and then north to Harrison through
some side streets. But mixed up enough that I was able to keep up and
even found trail at one point near binnys. But for most of the trail
Mommys coming was leading. What else is new. We finally are ehading up
hill to that Roosevelt Bridge again and there is a BVN. Yeah, over the
edge, or just follow the on out trail backwards for 4.7 miles. But we
finally made it in as I followed Pony Pounder and Steps In Shit. Lower
Wackoff and Castration Sensation came in DFL. Lifa was FRB but short cut
the last bit and immediately left to catch a trail. On Out
X
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E
The Tale of the Trail
X
Thu. Mar 10, 2022. The Thirstday Hash, Hooch B4 Cooch hared from Output Lounge for a six
pack of hounds. Hey, Harrietts, you are welcome to hash TH3. Really. We
started out in a light misting of snow and bright Orange marks. And we
were stuck on the first block. But soon On a block later and a Split and
Horn-E actually found the trail. Further south we had a Check and when I
got there, Garmin zoomed right by me yelling On. But for two block, I
never saw a mark. There was a Check there and everyone was gone and
Garmin was running south on the east side of the street. I ran on the
west side of the street and actually saw a mark. Last mark I saw until
the finish. WTF. SH. At Lake Street Garmin yelled On again heading east.
And again I saw no marks. Mommys Coming finally arrived and we followed
east to Ashland and never saw a mark. WTF. But the others were
Checking. Trail went straight south, but the last hashers I saw were
heading into the park and east on Lake. I followed and never saw a mark.
I only saw one mark since that Check about a half mile away. So I
ranged north on Ogden checking every corner heading to the trestle.
Nothing. At Grand I headed west towards the area of the beer stop. In a
Garage. So, I'm checking alleys and such and finally see a mark on
Grand. a curved line. but which way is it going. So I end up going the
wrong way and figure that out at a Split. Returning I find a line
pointing to a garage door half open and the hare. One hour out. Perfect
timing. Eventually the rest came on in including Double Meter Beater,
Dickinme Twofiddy and SnatchSquatch. On Out
x
Sat
Mar 12, 2022, The Big Dog Hash. SnatchSquatchlaid trail from Alarmist
Brewing and Tap Room for 11 Hounds including like missing hashers,
Dickens Cider and Riot Me This Riot Me That.
Trail went east to Pulaski where we really stalled. I was heading north
when Stiffy 4 Stiffies returned, Damn. That was the way. Well, we
worked it for a bit before finding trail. From here it worked its way
west to the bike trail. Here I think I missed a Check but finally
figured out where the pack was, and they were strainght north to Devon
and a Check. I got there just as the trail was found and we workedoutr
way south and west. I finally started to fall behind and the last one I
saw was Back Door bizzle after we crossed a field and rounded a church.
The rest of the trail was well still being well swept. Thanks Dickens
Cider, and eventually ran to another bike path. And as I ran along here I
finally heard ON On in a little park and their the pack gathered for
Circle. After a Big Dog Circle it was back to the brewery and a final
round or two or three. I finally walked out with Back Door bizzle and
walked with himuntil my bus came along. ON Out
x
Sun. Mar 13, 2022, The Chicago Hash, Pony
Pounder hared from Spiteful Brewing. Fifteen Hounds gathered including a
virgin Just Rebecca. Trail went north east towards Bryn Mawr and
Ravenswood, the way I walked in to the bar. So I saw three sets of
arrows on the way and knew where the trail was going. I did manage a
tiny short cut for Just Curt because of that information. And I tried to
signal False Advertising to go straight north, but he took off straight
east and wasn't seen until well after we all got in. This
was all taking us to a Check at Peterson and Ridge, a block south of my
house. So I knew that the False arrows going north on Paulina were
False. . But I didn't know where it went. I finally found myself on
Thorndale and Clark and the pack was a block south an a Triple Split.
They headed east and so did I and came to a Check a block later, just
after the FRB. So he gets first pick and I get the wrong pick. A block
later I'm alone and the pack is heading south. I paralleled and they
never came my way. Several blocks later I head towards Clark and spot a
lone arrow going the wrong way. Check ahead. And south I go and another
Check a few blocks later. Swept straight south, but the trail didn't go
straight south. Thanks. So I range again to Ashland and there is a
Split. A few Splits later and an unmarked Split. I go south and the
trail went east. So now I'm inside the loop and I work my way west and
south looking for trail and finally pick it up on Ravenswood. From here I
found the back of the pack and it was on in to a park and circle. Back
Door Bizzle led circle and all was good. Then we left and I almost
headed back to the original Spiteful Brewery, but decided to follow the
pack and we went to Empherical Brewery intead. Our third brewery in two
days and I can't drink. Damn. On Out.
X
Swing Low and On On
Horn-E
The Tale of the Trail
X
Tue 1 Mar 2022, The 4X2H4 Hash, Magnetic
Muff and Stuffin Muffin laid trail from Park 567 at 1811 N. Milwaukee
for 5 hounds. There was only three of us at the start and we missed a
quick turn after a split. I'm thinking already that I'll never see
Double Meter beater again. But hey, it takes a while to figure out what
the hell the hounds are doing. But then we were off down an alley and
Meat Inside Her and Berts Special Friend arrived, late as usual. A quick
Check and I'm losing the pack already. That's what happens when the
slow old fart tries to actually Check. When I return they are gone. But
it was being marked as they went along. So I kept going. We
worked out way to Armitage and Milwaukee and a Check. But that was west
across Western and south to Winnebago. Here we crossed Milwaukee again
and I missed a turn, But I soon found trail and then a mark was missing
but trail went through a parking lot and east on Moffat. Somewhere here I
got my personal mental compass mixed up. Hell, it happens. We went back
to Western and up onto the 606. but it only went across Western and
back down. Now the trail is heading west on Blooingdale. Some how my
brain has me going east. WTF. SH. Two blocks later the trail goes south
and I'm thinking north. At a Check I head west thinking I'm heading
east. But things aren't looking right. I finally check a building
number. like they all have them, and I'm at 2700W, WTF. So I return and
find the trail from that Check and it is back to Western. Now I'm
thinking, that is something new on a hash. I was way behind before I
f*cked things up and now it is hopelessly worse. So I return to that
bridge for 606 on Western and head east. I better be right. I was. And
it is straight back to the park and start. And there is False
Advertising. He also lost trail. And there are no hares with beer.
Finally the rest rolled on in. Then the hares arrived with beer and
excuses and we held a short circle. ON Out
x
Thu. Mar 3, 2022. The Thirstday Hash, Brother Incisor hared from Irish
Eyes. Trail headed straight east in the alley and then no
The Tale of the Trail
X
Thu. Mar 10, 2022. The Thirstday Hash, Hooch B4 Cooch hared from Output Lounge for a six
pack of hounds. Hey, Harrietts, you are welcome to hash TH3. Really. We
started out in a light misting of snow and bright Orange marks. And we
were stuck on the first block. But soon On a block later and a Split and
Horn-E actually found the trail. Further south we had a Check and when I
got there, Garmin zoomed right by me yelling On. But for two block, I
never saw a mark. There was a Check there and everyone was gone and
Garmin was running south on the east side of the street. I ran on the
west side of the street and actually saw a mark. Last mark I saw until
the finish. WTF. SH. At Lake Street Garmin yelled On again heading east.
And again I saw no marks. Mommys Coming finally arrived and we followed
east to Ashland and never saw a mark. WTF. But the others were
Checking. Trail went straight south, but the last hashers I saw were
heading into the park and east on Lake. I followed and never saw a mark.
I only saw one mark since that Check about a half mile away. So I
ranged north on Ogden checking every corner heading to the trestle.
Nothing. At Grand I headed west towards the area of the beer stop. In a
Garage. So, I'm checking alleys and such and finally see a mark on
Grand. a curved line. but which way is it going. So I end up going the
wrong way and figure that out at a Split. Returning I find a line
pointing to a garage door half open and the hare. One hour out. Perfect
timing. Eventually the rest came on in including Double Meter Beater,
Dickinme Twofiddy and SnatchSquatch. On Out
x
Sat
Mar 12, 2022, The Big Dog Hash. SnatchSquatchlaid trail from Alarmist
Brewing and Tap Room for 11 Hounds including like missing hashers,
Dickens Cider and Riot Me This Riot Me That.
Trail went east to Pulaski where we really stalled. I was heading north
when Stiffy 4 Stiffies returned, Damn. That was the way. Well, we
worked it for a bit before finding trail. From here it worked its way
west to the bike trail. Here I think I missed a Check but finally
figured out where the pack was, and they were strainght north to Devon
and a Check. I got there just as the trail was found and we workedoutr
way south and west. I finally started to fall behind and the last one I
saw was Back Door bizzle after we crossed a field and rounded a church.
The rest of the trail was well still being well swept. Thanks Dickens
Cider, and eventually ran to another bike path. And as I ran along here I
finally heard ON On in a little park and their the pack gathered for
Circle. After a Big Dog Circle it was back to the brewery and a final
round or two or three. I finally walked out with Back Door bizzle and
walked with himuntil my bus came along. ON Out
x
Sun. Mar 13, 2022, The Chicago Hash, Pony
Pounder hared from Spiteful Brewing. Fifteen Hounds gathered including a
virgin Just Rebecca. Trail went north east towards Bryn Mawr and
Ravenswood, the way I walked in to the bar. So I saw three sets of
arrows on the way and knew where the trail was going. I did manage a
tiny short cut for Just Curt because of that information. And I tried to
signal False Advertising to go straight north, but he took off straight
east and wasn't seen until well after we all got in. This
was all taking us to a Check at Peterson and Ridge, a block south of my
house. So I knew that the False arrows going north on Paulina were
False. . But I didn't know where it went. I finally found myself on
Thorndale and Clark and the pack was a block south an a Triple Split.
They headed east and so did I and came to a Check a block later, just
after the FRB. So he gets first pick and I get the wrong pick. A block
later I'm alone and the pack is heading south. I paralleled and they
never came my way. Several blocks later I head towards Clark and spot a
lone arrow going the wrong way. Check ahead. And south I go and another
Check a few blocks later. Swept straight south, but the trail didn't go
straight south. Thanks. So I range again to Ashland and there is a
Split. A few Splits later and an unmarked Split. I go south and the
trail went east. So now I'm inside the loop and I work my way west and
south looking for trail and finally pick it up on Ravenswood. From here I
found the back of the pack and it was on in to a park and circle. Back
Door Bizzle led circle and all was good. Then we left and I almost
headed back to the original Spiteful Brewery, but decided to follow the
pack and we went to Empherical Brewery intead. Our third brewery in two
days and I can't drink. Damn. On Out.
X
Swing Low and On On
Horn-E rth to
Wrightwood. So we're heading east on Wrightwood and the trail is just
confusing enough that I'm just catching up to the pack as they take off
after Splits, etc. So far so good. We finally head north to Diversey and
the pack is finally gone. But trail is marked and it crosses Diversey
and east on Surf. As it heads north, I should have spotted the last of
the pack as they did a loop. but I missed that and did the loop to
Sheridan and back and we finally head north to Belmont and Broadway. A
marked Check north. Not. I'm behind and this pack was fast and we all
know I'm half fast. So it was time to head west and see if I can
intercept the pack on the loop back to Belmont. And suddenly I ran into
Hooch B4 Cooch, also lost and
ranging. We check were we've been and head west. About 1.5 blocks past
Shefield there is a mark and as I get there SnatchSquatch bursts out of
an alley blowing his whistle like a steam engine blowing off steam.
Since they ran through Boys Town I hope that was the only blowing going
on. Trail went west a half block and then south. A few more hashers
passed me and headed west some more. Not. I'm heading straight south and
then east and eventually towards Jonquil Park and there is the pack and
groupies hanging around drinking beer. Soon it was back to the bar and
SnatchSquatch led circle. And buckets of beer were served. At least I
think it was beer. All the bottles seemed to say something about Lite.
And we had one returning hasher haven't seen in a long time, Put Put in
the Butt. Welcome back. On Out
x
Fri
Mar 4, 2022, The First Crack of the Moon Hash. Back Door Bizzle laid
Trail from Ravenswood Manor Park at Eastwood and Manor. The
CTA f*cked me over again and I was a few minutes late for a late start
and they were just about to do circle. So all was good. But the pack was
small. Magnetic Muff and SnatchSquatch and that old fart Horn-E. We
headed straight west and then into an alley. I saw SnatchSquatch heading
south at the end of the alley, but when I got there I didn't see any
marks. Well, to make a long story short, hell, this is Horn-E. Short
stories are always long. I ended up ranging a block west in the alley to
a T and then with still no marks I worked my way south and west to
Kedzie. As I ranged south on Kedzie the other two were heading north in
the alley I just left but a half block south of me. Big loop, find a
Check and it was marked and I go right back to that alley a already
ranged down. But there were no marks were I ran and I kept going and
there were marks again and a Check. Unmarked. But I find the trail and
head a block west, south a block and coming back east, I find the hounds
at a hi jack drinking beer with Stuffin Muffin. After that we three ran
on and Stuffin Muffin tried to follow. He missed a mark somewhere and
ended up on last Sundays trail and found us at the finish which just
happened to be where last weeks beer stop was. Hey, it worked. Meanwhile
Magnetic Muff and I were trying to follow SnatchSquatch and we were
really spread out, But trail went west and north of Lawrence to the
River and then south to a beer stop where the hare was waiting. After
the beer we ran on to the track crossing at Rockwell and then eventually
to the Wilson ave bridge over the river and back to start. We held a
laid back Moon style circle. Back Door Bizzle got a down down for the
whitest brightest socks I ever saw at a Moon Hash. Like they were made
from slices of cheese from the Full Moon. Only this was a First Crack of
the Moon Hash. But they provided plenty of light. After circle the
Muffins went home, SnatchSquatch returned on trail looking for lost
property. And Back Door Bizzle gave me a ride home. All was good. On
Out.
x
Sun. Mar 6, 2022, The Chicago Hash, Florida
Man and Its Too Soft hared from 916 W. Fullerton, ITS's old condo,
under going rehab. Hey, its for sale. Make him and offer he can't
refuse. In circle we find out we will be on Blue Chalk. OH NO!!! Trail
headed west and north and these young kids left this old man behind in
about four or five blocks. The last one I saw was False Advertising and
his Orange Elmer Fudd Hat. But I ran on and suddenly there is Furry
Spice and his two virgins, J. Beth and J Katy catching up. Well, that
didn't last long and about three blocks later they are gone. I am now
heading west on Fullerton and trail goes between some buildings. Well at
the end, I find a mark pointing across the street. Did I say Blue
Chalk. Never saw the turn mark across the street. Finally Zone 2 comes
along and sees the marks and we're off to the west. Okay, the hares
marks were mostly big and pointing right to the next mark, but you
couldn't really see a lot of them until you were right on them, and
don't blink. Please never in the dark. White chalk or drywall. So the
two of us plow ahead, She's mostly walking and I'm almost walking. Trail
finally heads west on Diversey and then north. Here she used technology
on trail. GPS. Found out where she was and hit the short cut button.
Meanwhile I'm now running on alone. North three blocks and then south on
Lincoln to a Check at Jonquil Park. They are already gone. These kids
not only run fast they drink fast. Oh how I remember the old days. Back
at the condo we gather in the back yard for circle. 20 hounds. There
Back Door Bizzle led circle. Horn-E f*cked up a couple of songs. And
he's sober. We need to get him drunk again. There was one other virgin
there. Just Erin. And someone we haven't seen for a while, A bag of Ds.
And most of the usual suspects. After circle was chili mac and pork
chops inside the condo and the drinking went on and on. and I am On Out.
x
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E
The Tale of the Trail
X
Wed,
Feb 23, 2022, The Whiskey Wednesday Hash, Lifa laid trail from Rebel
and Rye for a nice pack of two six packs. And we were soon off to the
north and west and over the expressway . Then a quick Check on a side
street. And when I got there, they were already heading north to another
Check at Green Street. Now this one was weird. No one was finding
anything. I followed Meet Insider Her north. Looking back I saw someone
heading east rapidly. So I paralleled to Halsted and checked the far
corner in case trail headed over the bridge. Nothing. On my return, I
found a False on Green Street from that Check. Okay. Back at the Check
there was almost no one. I followed Berts Special Friend and False
Advertising south to that last Check and then just False Advertising
heading west in an alley. There were marks. Well. WTF was that other
Check all about. We're soon on to the west. Following west I fell behind
and saw a turn north. I guessed that it was heading to a foot bridge
over the expressway and short cut to where that comes out and there was
False Advertising, Checking. And soon there was Lower Wackoff also. I
checked south. Nothing. Finally in desperation we rechecked where False
Advertising already happened to run, There was the true trail. Damn. So
we run on and on and off we run into Stuffin Muffin also. At one point I
get the lead and lead us south and then east in alleys and get passed
as we go east and through a gangway. I'm now falling behind and head
south but no one in sight. So as I work my way into the street to cross
the street, some guy is suddenly following me. And following me. WTF. I
finally get an opening in traffic and run on and finally loose him.
Weird. But now I have also lost the trail. Heading east to check the
Chicago Ave Bridge, I come up empty. So, Grand is next and heading south
I see Stuffin Muffin running ahead. So I find trail again and then
loose it again and I'm heading east again and a block south of Grand and
back on trail. Walking at one point. Lower Wackoff finally catches me.
Where the F*ck did he come from. And around the corner we are ON IN. And
some how Stuffing Muffin is also behind us. No circle and soon half the
pack went back to the bar while the rest of us hung out for a bit.
Eventually we got cold and headed on to the bar and I got a ride from
Double Meter Beater. He dropped me at the Belmont EL. Hey, DMB, that was
a mistake on my part. Train stopped at Wilson for trouble in one of the
cars. Fire Department was called. A block away. And we just sat there
waiting. Even sucks when you catch your train. On Out
x
Thu. Feb 24, 2022. The Thirstday Hash, Lifa laid
trail from the Senior Citizens Park and it was snowing hard enough to
require a live trail and he waited, hoping no one would show up and he
could go home. Not happening. Suddenly there was Furry Spice and
eventually Dickinme Twofiddy. Damn. So he took off on a short trail of
about 2 miles. Unfortunately he laid two many checks and the two hounds
really struggled and actually made it a hash. Or so I heard or maybe
heard. On Out
x
Sat. Feb 26, 2022, The Big Dog Hash. Castration Sensation came
down from Milwaukee to lay this 10 mile plus hash from Chase Park. And
three actually finished the trail. We had a pack of 7 hounds at the
start. And trail headed to the west and under some tracks. heading north
there was some confusion as to where the trail went. So I continued
north to Lawrence and then west and found myself paralleling the course.
A few blocks later the trail came to where I was and I was leading the
back pack. We went north and around the high school at Damen and Foster.
As I was running through the park I commented to Magnetic Muff that we
will probably never see those front runners again and suddenly they were
right in front of us. Regroup. Yea! The trail then headed back east and
eventually back to the start for a quick beer stop. I took off right
away and ended up running east on Lawrence and south a block and east to
Broadway. Here SnatchSquatch, Lifa and Stiffy 4 Stiffies were catching
up to me. Again back to Lawrence and further east. Here is where my
ankle started to act up and I decided to call it before I got to far
from the start. Smart move. Trail went all the way to the lake and a
loop and then back to the start for the full 10 miles course. Somewhere
along here, Back Door Bizzle also stopped and returned to the start.
Magnetic Muff and Stuffin Muffin only planned to run about four and quit
at the beer stop, I hung with them until I got cold and headed home.
Back Door Bizzle hung through the circle until the pack headed over to
Carols. On Out
x
Sun. Feb 27, 2022, The Chicago Hash, Dryrafoam hared from Horner Park for
15 hounds. Trail headed through the park and south to Irvng Park. From
here the trail headed almost all the way to Western. and the pack was
out of sight. I plodded on. Finally heading north I managed to see Back
Door Bizzle ahead. I caught up and we ran on to Montrose. Then it was
straight east to Lincoln. At Lincoln the two of us headed straight
north. That was getting enough for me. Back Door Bizzle ran on for
awhile before quitting and short cutting back. Meanwhile I ran straight
west and over the bridge, constantly hoping for a mark and finally after
the bridge I crossed trail. And this was just south of the beer stop,
but I don't think they were there yet. Florida Man told me he got 7.1
miles. Glad I quit when I did. The pack finally got in and Back Door
Bizzle got the circle going. We had two virgins, and welcomed them to
our insanity. And they did empty their cans properly. Welcome. And all
through circle people kept asking about Homeless Granny Fucker. Did he
get nostalgic crossing one of the bridges? Or just quit like myself and
BDB? On Out
x
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E
The Tale of the Trail
X
Tue, Feb 15, 2022. The Chicago Full Moon Hash. SnatchSquatch
hared out of Brands Park for a six pack of hounds. We headed north to a
Check on Elston. And we were still together. Trail went west around a
little park and some damn slippery sidewalk and over to Kedzie and
south. There was a Check at Belmont that I never saw because Berts
Special Friend was already coming north on the other side of the street
and ON. So I head On and at the first turn I missed the next mark until
Magnetic Muff came along and spotted a mark heading north in an alley.
Back on we head over towards the expressway and sort of along it. And
I'm falling behind. But I'm still following MM and at Sacramento there
was a Check I missed. And suddenly MM is coming back towards me. WTF.
Oh, check. I think this is where Lower Wackoff passed me as the trail
then went east and south. Again, near the expressway. At one point there
is a little loop through an empty lot and back to a north street. And
suddenly False Advertising zips by me and heads off in the distance.
Another check at Elston and we head east towards Rockwell. North on
Rockwell and a little loop and we are heading east over the bridge on
Belmont. Mid bridge and cross the street and to the river walk area and
there is the pack at a beer stop. Okay. Oh. More trail. Now here is
where SnatchSquatch pulls something I never saw before. Trail goes north
along the path to the rowing shed. Here is a Check at the river. And no
marks anywhere. Finally the pack somehow finds themselves heading back
south and there is a changed mark at the beer stop, heading back south
on the path to Belmont, over the river, and back north on the river path
on the west bank, and another Beer stop. And where am I. Still working
that Check. And then they are gone. So I figure it can only go north and
I make my way to Addison and cross the bridge west. Only way left to
try is go south on California and at Roscoe I head east to that River
walk and there is the pack. Damn. FRB twice on one hash. We held circle
there and all was good. Also on trail was Meat Inside Her. Way out of
sight as usual. When we left I headed straight south to Belmont and
damn, the CTA gets it right for once. I run to the bus stop and just
catch a bus. On Outx
Thu. Feb 17, 2022. The Thirstday Hash,
Garmin hare from Senn Park and there was just myself and Brother
Incisor. Finally Dickinme Twofiddy arrives and about 7;50 we take off.
This was a live trail due to snowing and blowing snow. We headed
straight east and the trail went into the front park area of Senn H. S,
Here I lost the other two. Damn. But I finally find trail at the south
east edge of the school area and I'm On in an alley. But all I see are
one set of foot prints. The Hare? One of the other two hounds? I work my
way on through some twisting and finally get to a Check at Broadway.
And there are the other two, checking. We find trail across Broadway and
heading south in an alley. This wound around to another check coming
out of the alley at Broadway and just north of Bryn Mawr. I saw BI
heading south and she looked On, so I followed and only two marks. I
head back north and across Broadway and I think I spot DT heading south,
Again I head south and nothing and neither of the other two, Returning I
work my way north and west and finally find a Triple Split on Ridge.
Now they are long gone so I'm on my own and the mark aren't swept.
Through an alley and finally on streets and alleys heading west to just
before Broadway. Here the trail got super simple. Straight north in an
alley with a Split at every opportunity. I kept picking straight and was
on. Finally I pick a left and I'm On to a Check at the Military
Memorial at Clark and Ashland. I find this aright away and after a loop I
didn't need because of not seeing the marks, I was on and again
straight north for four blocks to Elmdale. A right turn and a block
later it was heading past the little park. Next stop for the finish is
the alley behind the hares place or Double Bubble as was mentioned
before the hash. If they are outside, they are long gone. If they are
inside, I can't get in. And I'm two short blocks home. And looking
forward to over an hour of shoveling snow, I headed home while I was
still warmed up and shoveled snow. On Out.
x
Sat.
Feb 19, 2022, The Bushman Hash. Horn-E hared out of Edgebrook Woods for
a no wimps hash. And it was. Mid to upper 20s, no wind, sunny. and
virgin snow everywhere. I head out to the south with a goal of running
through a golf course. Trail went towards the river and at the edge of
the hill towards the wet lands, there was ice everywhere. Slippery? Hell
yes. Solid? it was/wasn't. But I wasn't sure and avoided it at this
point.
Trail went over the foot bridge and then through Lechowicz
Woods. We hit another Check near the river and in the picnic Area. They
were still together and scattered. Meat Inside Her headed into the
field and eventually found trail at about the fifth mark. They followed
and Lower Wackoff finally came out of the woods running last. We went up
a hill and left along the hill towards the tracks.
Again,
ice or water ahead. The levels were high, so I avoided them while laying
trail. Mistake as the ice was solid enough, most of the time. So I
aimed for the bike path bridge over the tracks and a long back check to
the top.
MIH caught that. As the returned, Berts Special Friend
found the trail and they headed over the tracks. I was sweeping with
Back Door Bizzle. Trail headed into the woods were I chased three
deer. This heads to a ridge over more wetlands. While laying this, I
couldn't resist. I had done that section both frozen and wet and the
water is never very deep. a foot or so. So why not. This was slippery as
all hell. I mean real slippery. Remember, about 28 degrees and bright
sun. It looked dry and mostly was, but there was just a slim film of wet
making it the slipperyest ice I ever crossed, Then half was across it
starts cracking. Ooops. Huge sections were cracking here and there as I
tried to walk on that slick ice. I finally got out and figured that
would be great for the pack. And it was, As they arrived BDB held
back with $20 Butt Slut. His excuse, The dog was light, You might crack
the ice. MIH also walked the fringe area. But BSF ventured out about ten
feet and tried as best as he could to walk to the end. And then we had
LWO. He was following trail and suddenly he just upends and flat on his
side on the ice. Now you can stand on the ice. You can walk on the ice.
But you can only fall through the ice and he did. Fortuately the ice was
thick enough and the water shallow enough that he only got slightly
wet. From head to toe.
So we are now off the ice and over some
hilly areas and along the river to the two sloughs, frozen and tempting.
I remember holding circle on the first one, one year. Frozen solid. But
we just had cracking ice and this would be a little deeper. I'm
thinking a foot or two, maybe more. I'm not doing that alone. But a
little further I venture off the path towards the area between the two
sloughs. An area about fifty feet between them and slightly down hill,
Well not that slight. I venture out and it cracks a little. The area
looked like white water river that suddenly froze. I mean hilly and
bowed in the middle. Well about two or three tentative steps out and
crack and through the ice I go. About six inches to solid ground and it
was dry. WTF. But it took another fifteen minutes or so to get out of
there. Real slick and bowed in the middle so I'm on slippery ice trying
to climb out on hands and knees, up hill, and then to a steep hill
covered in snow. Okay, I make that. Then I go around the second slough
to the river path again. Here is about fifty feet of slick ice about 6
feet wide on the normal path. It finally splits and one part goes
towards the river. And two damn close and looking slippery and very
shallow ice. So, I'm smarter then that. Yeah, sure. I drift to the right
and climb over a log and suddenly I am two foot through the ice and I
feel the water rushing up inside my pants legs. What happened was I
stepped out onto the drainage ditch to the river. The water froze after a
rain and then the water underneath slowly ran off. Well, most of it.
Damn. No support for the ice and boom. Well, it was cold, but those
plastic bags between two layers of socks helped and it really wasn't
that cold. So I climbed out and then had to go back and put in a very
large False for the pack.
So finally the pack arrives at the
sloughs. I dared them and challenged them to do it. and ,aom;u BSF and
BDB and I got into that cracking ice and on our hands and knees trying
to get the hell out of there. LW has some video of me, flat on my belly
trying to do a breast stroke and move forward and the ice was so slick I
couldn't move an inch. And
LW is yelling out for the video, "Come on old man,. We have to get you
back to the nursing home." And civilians are walking by on the nearby
path wondering what they hell they are doing to that poor old man. I
finally managed to get to a frozen stick and pull myself forward. Then
it was crawling along a log and up hill and the damn pack just left me
behind.
From here the pack ran by Forest Glen Picnic area and
back down to wet lands. but time is moving forward after my ice
encounters and I had to move on.
And the pack was moving with
BSF and MIH leading as we crossed the Forest Glen bridge and into woods
heading to the Golf Course. On the golf course the trail was fairly
straight, but with soe checks and Splits and our leaders had trouble
finding tehm and the last one was found by LW. We headed to the
northwest corner of the golf course and a little gulley where the fence
didn't go all the way to the ground. And once again I had the pack on
their knees crawling under. Then they did one more loop in the woods and
a final Check near the tracks. But it idn't go to the cars, but back to
that fence and the B. I had already gotten the beer out and we held a
fun circle out of the wind and in the sun. and all was good. Swing Low
and On out.
This was the trail of the year, and it will take a lot to beat that ice. On Out
x
Sun.
Feb 13, 2022, The Chicago Hash, This was laid by Coming Right Meow and
Homeless Granny Fucker out of her home. We had 20 hounds on trail. This
was just the opposite of the Bushman trail from the day before, Just a
big loop around the loop. Few tricks like a normal hash, but a nice run
with the highlights being the River Walk area. I was On at the first
Check but didn't go far enough so I ended up near the back of the pack
as we ran north on Michigan. And yet, somehow the FRBs kept passing me
by. We ran up towards the bean and then north towards the river and down
to the river walk. Now I'm running with the sweep so I'm On the rest of
the way. For sure. And a lot of marks did disappear with the melting
snow. I ended up running with Zone 2 and Back Door Bizzle. The best part
of this hash was the circle in her living room with Back Door Bizzle
playing RA. And the circle went on for quite a long time. Haven't done
that in a long time with cold outside circles. She also provided some
grub for us. Then we hung out a long time, something that hasn't been
done outside as we all finally get to damn cold. So thanks for that. X
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E
The Tale of the Trail
x
Thu,
Feb 10, 2022 Dickinme Twofiddy laid a hash for the Thirstday Hash, from
a park just south of North on Larrabee for 7 hounds. The trail headed
west to the area of Strip Malls near North and Clybourn where the hare
led us in tight circles, but mostly well marked, well, when we could
find the marks. Hell, with all of the twisting back and forth even
Horn-E was able to keep the pack in sight for a while. Then we went down
along the river and the only one still in sight was Lifa. And he was
pulling away. He left the river and followed the pack. I left the river
and found an unswept Check at North Ave. Ooops. That area has so many
options. I headed west and found a second mark, a Triple Split. I looked
north and south and saw no one. So I tried over the bridge. Not. Back
to the Split. I guessed north and was right. But over these abandoned
track and snow, there didn't seem to be enough footprints. I finally
emerged at the road and couldn't find a mark. Few foot prints, no mark
along the tracks and not at the road, spells NOT. Actually it was and I
heard from SnatchSquatch that Stiffy 4 Stiffies finally found a mark and
the pack was On. Meanwhile I went in a huge loop trough the strip
malls, checking both side of streets and all four corners. NADA. Also
directly north from that Check. Finally heading east on north I found a
mark going south. But only one. Damn. Time is now moving on, so I headed
to a mark I saw before the start. Headed north, back trail, to the BN
Check. But did they already go by or where they yet to arrive. I turned
back and was soon passed by Garmin. And just before a hole in a fence
into the park, the rest of the pack started to arrive. So we all did
sort of finish together. We circled and punished the hare. Who else was
there. Dryrafoam and Furry Spice. I finally started to get cold and
headed On Out.
x
Sun,
Feb 13, 2022, The Chicago Hash. A starting location was finally set and
then reset on Sat for the Pony Inn. I assumed that meant Pony Pounder
was the new GM and he was setting trail with Silent But Deadly. Right.
So they finally came out of the RESTRICTED bar and we could get started.
I counted 14 hounds. We took off with some running trail and some
running to a shag wagon. When we got to the first Check at a massive six
corner intersection, some were scattered about, in all directions and
more to come. I opted to the south and east and then back to the south. I
was on following Dickinme Twofiddy and Lower Wackoff and whoever might
be ahead and out of sight. I finally settled in with Lower Wackoff and
we found a little on our own and were finally caught be Garmin leading
three virgins and North Bangher Alley. They flew by us. We were joined
by Back Door Bizzel and the three of us became a DFL pack as we followed
Lower Wackoff over mostly swept marks. We finally headed west on
Diversey towards Damen and a street before that we headed north. Then
over to this park on Damen and a beer check and a circle. By now I was
following them and the definite DFL. Circle started with False
Advertising playing RA. The hares were called out often with Pony
Pounder drinking and Silent But Deadly remaining silent on her fairwell
GM Hash. I got called out and had to find a stunt liver because my drink
was back in the shag wagon 3/4th of a mile away. Damn. The three
virgins were called out, but I never heard their names, because I'm half
deaf, and after circle we headed back to the RESTRICTED bar. But these
were more virgins brought out by Dickinme Twofiddy. Well done. And his
Harriet virgin wasn't drinking so he had to be her stunt liver. But it
was a short circle and I'm, On Out .
x
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E
XThe Tale of the Trail
x
Missed
last week because AOL/YAHOO blocked me and wouldn't even respond and
tell me wha was wrong. Turne out they are bitching about SPAM again. So I
will have to do another purge of the list and cut back on who wants
these messages and thox=se that movednon or let them messages fall into
Spam. Everyone who want on is always welcome. Everyone will get three
messages to reply or be dropped. Meanwhile, enjoy this weeks tales.
X
Tue,
Feb 1, 2022 Cockholm Syndrome laid a 4X2H4 hash from Columbus and
Monroe for four hounds. Rain turning to snow was expected. It didn't
happen and we had a nice and interesting hash. Some new stuff. We
started out with a Check and naturally I was off in the wrong direction,
south towards Buckingham fountain. Trail went north along the lake. By
the time I got across the Lake Shore Drive, they were long gone. Trail
headed up towards the river and eventually under a bridge and Lake Shore
Drive into this park. Uphill to Upper Randolph and then down stairs
towards the lowest level. I plunge on with no hope of seeing anyone
again and suddenly as I'm heading north on Lower Columbus, I see Lower
Wackoff. and a short time later a call from LIfa and Sharti B. Well, it
is back towards the little park and then up a lot of stairs. No wonder
the hare didn't want to sweep. Here the trail headed through some doors
and we were now in the tunnel system between buildings. We were to
follow post it notes on various doors. Yeah, when they were there. But
we did regroup as we struggled trying to find our way from one building
to another. We finally lost Lifa, or he lost us as he found trail the
way it was laid. The other three got lost and just found our way out of
those tunnels and such. We headed south and at Randolph we again found
trail that took us along the east side on Millennium Park and eventually
ON IN. And we hung around for a few beers and ON Home. On Outx
Wed,
Feb 2, 2022, Horn-E laid a First Crack of the Moon Hash from Warren
Park for two brave hounds. That snow we expected last night finally
arrived over night. A good hour or more of shoveling heavy snow. Then
wait to see what it would be like at 5:00 for laying trail. Snow stopped
and mainly just some blowing snow. Walked over 1.5 miles to the start
so I could walk 3 miles to lay trail and run 3 miles sweeping trail and
another 1.5 miles on home. The paths in the park were sort of shoveled
with that blowing snow. I laid marks and hoped. It was a good thing I
swept the trail because in the park the marks were mostly covered. But
trail went north through streets and alleys. Damn, but most people
actually shoveled and edge to edge and some on the corners went right
into the street. Of course there were the assholes who never shovel. So
the hounds, Garmin and Lower Wackoff struggled at times and other time
it was smooth sailing. The goal was Indian Boundry Park and a loop
through there. Some how Lower Wackoff emerged in front as trail headed
south and they left me behind. But the marks were mostly damn good.
bright red on white snow and under street lights. They ran on and
finally returned to Warren Park were the end of the trail was straight
across a field of mostly virgin snow and my foot prints. About 6 to 8
inches deep. When I got to the Beer Stop, the hounds were drinking
Modelo and Tecate and Lower Wackoff was declared FRB for finding the
beer. Once we stopped we started to get cold pretty fast and about five
beers between them and we were gone. Damn long walk home. And then
another hour of shoveling. WTF. On Out .
x
Thu.
Feb 3, 2022, The Thirstday Hash was set by Gay Dancer from his
apartment on Magnolia for four hounds and one late comer that struggled
but only got through a block and a half of trail in about 45 minutes.
Yeah, that late comer was me. The El said the trail was coming in five
minutes. Fifteen minutes later it arrived. So I got off at 7:32 and ran
to the hares place. They had just finished circle and were gone. True
trail was marked straight north. As I left the alley, white snow
everywhere and no mark. WTF. Two directions and two sides of the street.
So it must be straight down the alley. Not. Return and still find
nothing. Check the corners a half block away in both directions.
Nothing. So back north in the alley to Lawrence. Nothing. Around the
block and sweeping wide on Broadway, I return and still nothing. I try
one more time to the west and finally see across the street a turn mark
in a snow bank and melting in. WTF. I return to find out what the hell I
missed. At the original alley, right next to a post in dirty ice and
snow was the remnants of a mark in the shadows. So I know it was there.
Move on. North on Magnolia and never found another mark, all the way to
Lawrence and around the corner. Returned and nothin. So I head back to
chalk talk area and head south looking for a possible On Back trail I
can follow backwards. Yeah. And this I followed without to much trouble
to Wilson and Broadway and the pack was already returning. At that point
it wasn't worth going on and it seemed silly to follow them on in and
not even be able to drink beer. So I headed home. Don't know what the
trail was like, but was told marks were iffy all along. On Out.
x
Sun.
Feb 6, 2022. The Chicago Hash, the last anal winter snow hash, and we
actually had snow this year. Set by Reverend Shut the Fuck Up and Stab
'em & Slab 'em and Lifa from her home on University, for an
uncounted number but about 12 runners and about 5 or 7 walkers. We
headed north and worked our way towards the Midway Plaisance. I was
following and the last person I saw was Stuffin Muffin. I thought I saw
hounds heading towards the lake, but I was wrong. Returning to the
street were the trail actually was I found a Split. This time it looked
like it was marked east and I went a long way east. Nothing. Around the
block and nothing. Well. I finally did find it to the west and was On to
a Check at the Midway Plaisance. It was swept with an arrow pointing
across the street and a little west. And there was a path. I followed
the path and found a chalk arrow pointing a little east of straight
north, into virgin snow and no footprints. WTF. I cross all the way to
the Campus and run in circles back and forth and can't find trail. So,
one last desperate attempt. a wide loop to the west and then clockwise.
And I finally found a mark coming out of snow with only one set of
footprints. WTF. I follow this a block west and into Washington Park. A
nice loop of beaten down snow from the pack, around a fence and onto the
lagoon and the island. Then around another fence into the lagoon and
pretty straight out of the park to the south. Fun stuff. Would have been
great with the pack. From here it was mostly marked and back and forth
on streets heading towards the finish. Not all marks were swept and I
still made a few bad decisions before finally coming to the last Check
by the cemetery on 67th St. Marked east. And it went east to University
and east and east and east and WTF. Finally at the tracks was the B and
of course the pack was long gone. I got back in mid circle and it was a
good circle by Cockholm Syndrome. After that there were brats and foot
long hot dogs for some good belly fill and I was finally offered a ride
home by Stuffin Muffin and Magnetic Muff. Thanks loads. On Out
x.
The Tale of the Trail
X
Wed, Feb 2, 2022, The First Crack of the Moon Hash. Meat Inside Her and Berts Special Friend laid trail from the Twisted Spoke at Grand and Ogden for the 8th Anniversary Hash.
And then they decided to do what shouldn't have been done, do what was
done on the first Whiskey Wednesday Hash. Blue flour in the dark and
snow. Unfortunately it all to often looked like dirty snow and was hard
to make out. We came to a quick Split and trail crossed Ogden and went
south to Grand and then west. And Horn-E is doing what he does best,
fall behind the pack. They crossed Grand heading south and then back
east in an alley and I caught up for a brief moment. At Ogden, trail
headed south and under the tracks. I was on following them, but the
leaders were gone. I saw a blue mark. So far so good. Two blocks later I
still hadn't seen another mark and for once I had a flashlight. WTF. I
returned and finally found another mark, So I turned south again. Still
nothing. I'm totally behind the pack and no hope of ever catching them
so I tried to use my brain. Brains never find Hares or Whiskey Stops.
But I tried. Ranged East to the bridge and nothing. So I ranged south on
Ogden thinking a Whiskeyr stop at the usual frigid corner. Nothing.
Searched that whole area and back across the expressway and other known
Whiskey Stops. Nothing. I head for the start and hope that they might
have written on the side walk where the Whiskey Stop was. And just as I
was arriving, the hares drove up, after the Whiskey Stop. I had fun
running around, but it was time to go home due to the frigid weather and
our FU mayor's discriminating dictates about drinking inside. Come on
Bus.
x
Thu. Jan 27, 2022. The
Thirstday Hash, Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her, again trying
to hare. This time from the CTA Station at North and Clybourn.
We took off to the south and immediately couldn't find trail. So Horn-E
is doing what he does best. Searching for trail in the wrong direction.
And the pack was off to the east. I did manage to catch them coming out
of a dead end street. And apparently that was the theme of the day,
Back Checks and little loops back and forth through malls and such and
finally working its way to the south, We headed into this big field full
of snow and I'm falling behind as usual. At Division there was a Check.
I didn't know that, but I did see SnatchSquatch heading west over the
bridge yelling On. He wasn't. As I got to the street and sidewalk I saw a
shopping cart. Great place to hang my clothes as I tried to take off
two sweat shirts. I was sweating and over dressed. Meanwhile the pack is
returning on the other side of the street. It was only two arrows off
of a Check. Remember, that one I didn't know we were at. SnatchSquatch did see me and yelled out to me. "Hay, you homeless POS, we're on and heading east." He knows I can't hear. And I
didn't see them until the Beer Stop. I crossed the bridge and couldn't
find out where they went. So I assumed Goose Island and headed north.
Naturally, no marks. At North I headed back to the start and the hares
marked where the Beer Stop was. North two blocks on Clybourn. And just
as I got there, Dickinme Twofiddy arrived, the FRB. And within minutes
SnatchSquatch came in DFL. That is why he yelled for me. So I would be
DFL. We held circle there and all was good and some went to Goose Island
and some went home.
x
Sun. Jan 30, 2022, The Chicago Hash, SnatchSquatch
hared an A to B trail from Ronan Park at 2900 W. Lawrence. Fifteen
hounds on this trail. All those people that are afraid of the dark
bothered to come out. We were on big Orange flour marks. Just Checks and
lines. We headed east over the bridge and a Check. Naturally with park
to the north we would head north and the pack quickly left me behind.
Ran two blocks north and through some park and the last I saw were some
hounds heading west over the bridge. I followed and saw a mark heading
into the athletic fields to the north. But I saw some hounds to the east
and followed them. They weren't on. They got to Kedzie and headed
north. I caught up at Foster. It was Po Po Pick Up Game, Construction
Junction, and Brother Incisor. The four of us became the DFLs. We headed
west and they crossed the street and joined me and we entered into
North Park Campus where the hare wound us all over before finally
leaving the campus on Kimball. We then headed west and over the foot
bridge. A long block later we did a little loop and the trail then
headed into a long alley back north. Construction Junction was way ahead
and did this long loop in time for the other two to see her and follow.
I didn't and now I am in this long loop. So I run to Lawrence and see a
mark heading east on Lawrence. Last mark I saw. I worked my way to the B
and came in right behind the others and we were celebrated as the DFLs.
The garage door was shut and we circled within. All was good.
X
The Tale of the Trail
X
Sat. Jan 15, 2022, The
Bushman Hash #200. Horn-E laid trail from the bus shelter SW corner
of Cumberland and Irving Park, sometimes called Horn-E woods. Well, I
have laid a bunch of trail from there. We had a nice turnout of 10
hounds for our anniversary. Lifa had beer for me to set out at the B. So
after a quick chalk talk they were off in cold and a lot of virgin
show. And the trail led to the tunnel under Irving Park and no one took
it. All right, SnatchSquatch would have had to crawl, but it was solid
ice so no problem. Just Do Me Slowly could walk through upright and
pulled him through on his back. Trail went through the creek bed
following coyote tracks and then into the high grasses. The pack blew
right through that and finally came to a Check at the Southeast corner
of the Forest Preserve. Here the attempt was to go through the golf
course, but the holes in the fences were all repaired. Dam government.
So trail went west on a wide path to a point where it was easy to get
into some serious woods running. Then a few paths and back to the creek
bed near where it enters the river. And the pack was mostly together.
And I was trying to sweep and missed it. After I laid the beer stop I
ran to that wooded section and they were already through there. Shit
happens. So anyhow the pack headed to a picnic grove near Irving Park
and the river. A big field and a Check. And there is a hidden path in
the Southeast corner of the field and they couldn't find it for the
longest time. Well, at least some couldn't as a few managed to find it
and not pass on the word to the rest of the pack. Chicken Stifer first.
then SnatchSquatch, Berts Special Friend, and On and through some nasty
shiggy before coming out to trails on in. Finally the back of the pack
came on into the circle. Meat Inside Her, False Advertising, Zone 2,
Lifa, Lower Wackoff and Just Do Me Slowly and Back Door Bizzle. Then
most of us headed over to Draft for a warm up beer or two. x
Sun. Jan 16, 2022, The Chicago Hash, Just
Carlos and Garmin hared from Bar On Buena and we had 21 hounds. What
the hell happened. Did we just get a warn spell. No, it was cold. So we
took off and the pack was soon gone and I was in back with Lower
Wackoff, Just Do Me Slowly, Coming Right Meow, Zone 2 and Back Door
Bizzle. And the virgin hare sweeping and making sure we didn't get lost.
Good Job J. Carlos. So we went on a counterclockwise loop around Uptown
and finally into Lincoln Park. We actually had glimpses of the front
pack, but there was no way we would catch them. But eventually we almost
caught them near Montrose Harbor, almost. And we could again see then
run away from us and back under Lake Shore Drive and to the Beer Stop.
Back Door Bizzle led the circle, a short one and then we named J.
Carlos. And he will forever more be know as Homeless Granny Fucker.
x
Mon.
Jan 17, 2022, The Chicago Full Moon Hash, Lifa hared from Independence
Park and from the map, it was a decent trail. To bad I missed it. Well,
I started out on the trail and followed Berts Special Friend and then
Stuffin Muffin as we headed west along the Expressway and the little
path to Pulaski. There the trail went south under the Expressway and a
Split. Stuffin Muffin went west so I went east. And I was ON, but didn't
see the mark. I returned to the Split as everyone else arrived there.
So we returned to where I was and Magnetic Muff saw the mark just passed
where I turned around. All right, we are heading in a counter clockwise
loop. Ooops, damn hare. He looped us back to Pulaski and a Check. I
followed Stuffin Muffin south still thinking CCW. Nothing. So he
returned to the pack and I looped around trying to intersect the trail.
Damn. I crossed the trail but never saw it. Damn I'm getting old. So I
ended up ranging north, checking all four corners, block after block to
Montrose. Heading east now I finally found the trail coming out of an
alley and a Split. Meanwhile the pack was to the west and north having
fun with back checks and falses and such and running together. Damn. So
from here it was a short distance to the B in a parking lot behind
Tony's market. But it still took me a long time as I guessed every Split
and Check wrong. And still I came in ahead of everyone by at least ten
minutes. And they all came in one at a time. Then we headed back to the
start for circle. Quick and cold and then we Split. I walked to the
corner and there was my warm bus and all was good.
x
Thu. Jan 20, 2022. The Thirstday Hash.
Escort Required and Just Juice from Copenhagen and Gay Dancer were
haring from Clark and North. I wanted to get there early enough to talk
with my old friend Escort Required, but shit happens. I checked the CTA
web site for directions. Actually the time to leave home. I dialed in
Clark and North and Google just doesn't have any idea of what Chicago
is. They were sending me to North Clark. North Clark goes from Madison
to Evanston. But they picked Addison and gave me the time for that. I
didn't notice the error and so I arrived at the start at 7:40. Circle
was over and the pack was gone. I found a Check and was off looking for
them. A very short time later I was at another Check just north of the
start and La Salle Drive in the park. I struggled with this one going
north, but not far enough, circling back I checked west and north west
and finally heard what sounded like an On On call. To the north,
somewhere. So I returned to that original direction and looked further
and found trail. Good I'm ON and if I did hear an On call I might not be
that far behind. Actually as I'm heading around the east end of the
lagoon, the pack was already finishing at another path in that area and
just to the south of the lagoon and nearer to the Farm in the Zoo from
where I was. So, where did the trail go. Around the lagoon and a Check
that I found right away. Then straight over to Clark and a Split and
quick Check. Well I worked the Split and then the Check and finally
found trail heading straight south on Clark, I did hit a Split that was
swept. Wrong. Two blocks later and nothing I returned to the Split and
went the other way and was soon on and right to the Beer Stop. I saw a
light and headed there and saw three hashers walking away. One hare, Gay
Dancer and Garmin and I'm not sure who else. Damn masks are not needed
in the open air of a park. But I did meet Just Juice and Escort Required
and found out that they just finished circle. Apparently Grateful Dick
was also there at the start and never made the beer stop. And no one
seemed to care. The whole trail couldn't have been much more then a
mile. And no one was staying in the park. Cold, but no wind and pretty
nice. But they were off to a bar where discrimination reins and I was
not allowed in because I care for my health and won't take experimental
dangerous shots that don't really work. So I headed to a bus and was
home before 9:30. That never happens. WTF. At least it might have been
worth it if there was a decent length of trail. x
Sun.
Jan 23, 2022, The Chicago Hash, Dryrafoam Laid trail from Eugene Park.
Another trail that got fucked up. But Dryrafoam at least tried to lay a
decent trail. Fresh snow and people plowing and marks getting covered
over were all a problem. That and apparently an on out trail and Check
right across the street from and on back trail. At least I think that is
what happened. Anyway a nice pack of a dozen hounds took off to the
west and Foster. Somehow at the first corner we headed south and after a
long block, we all walked back. A messed up mark. So we thought it was a
Check and some went straight west and found the Check at south west
corner of Pulaski. Lower Wackoff and myself crossed Foster and did a
short little loop path we knew about. Nothing. At Pulaski the rest of
the pack was checking. We saw a mark on the North east corner, but we
just came from the east so that couldn't have been it. It was the return
trail along Foster and we didn't go that way. We checked north and
finally I went into the strip mall parking lot and I checked the far
corner. Apparently if I went around the back I might have found the
trail to a small section of housing north of the forest preserve, At
least I was told that is where the trail went. Meanwhile the pack
finally found marks heading east on Foster. The on back trail that Lower
Wackoff and I missed. When I returned to the Check, I thought I saw
Lower Wackoff heading that way and went over there, But by the time I
got there he was gone and so I returned to the Check. From here I ranged
to the south and finally heading east I intended to return to the start
and find the trail and run it backwards. And as I heading east I
suddenly saw three hounds heading west on an area I just checked and
there were no marks. Well I followed then thinking they were on
something. They lost me and I wandered on in to the start and there was
the whole pack almost. WTF. Finally All Bush No Balls came in DFL. I
think she might have actually found trail at that Check and was finally
coming in. the only one who actually ran most of the trail. Back Door
Bizzle ran a circle and then offered me a ride home. Bye bye. Two too
short trail in a row. x
The Tale of the Trail
Tue Jan 4, 2022. The 4X2H4 Hash. Garmin laid trail from the little park on the NE Corner of Michigan and Oak.
We had 6 hounds and took off to the south along the beach. Over ran a
turn through the first tunnel and found a Check at Division and
Lakeshore Dr. The 4 FRBs were gone down an alley to the west, Lifa,
Sharti B, Cockholm Syndrome and Furry Spice. All I saw after that was
Lifa for a few blocks heading west on Division. Meanwhile Lower Wackoff
fell behind at that check and wasn't seen until the beer stop. That
leaves me, Horn-E. I struggled seeing some marks and other areas were
really marked well. West to Orleans and then south. That was a check
were I was naturally off the wrong way. Then trail worked its way east
and to a Check at Bug House Square. Naturally I went around the block
the wrong way. But finally got back on and worked myself south and east
to Michigan. Another Check but I was on this one and went south for
several blocks before heading east and then north to the Park at Chicago
Ave. I got in just before Lower Wackoff who finally lost the trail and
had to call it. Quick circle and we were off.
X
Wed. Jan 5, 2022, The First Crack of the Moon Hash, Lower
Wackoff hared his 25th anniversary winter moon hash from the Forest
Glen Forest Preserve. At the start there were only 4 of us and we took
off into the woods on a frigid night. Orange marks on trees and red
marks in snow. Lifa and Garmin were sone gone and I was alone looking
for any sign of a mark. Finally the hare, sweeping, and Just Do Me
Slowly came along and we struggled along the trail heading northwest
along the river through trail and off trail. Finally started to see some
of the marks and visualize to what I was looking for. At the Tracks we
headed north on the track, diving for cover as Amtrack blew on through
and eventually came off the tracks at Edgebrook Woods. Check. The hare
had to point it out. And there didn't look like any other foot prints
around. Where were the rest. Did Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside
Her ever show up. Where they coming behind us. The hare pointed out the
trail and we headed to the foot bridge and then through a parking lot
and into a big field. There I was left alone while the Hare and JDMS
went for pizza. Yeah. Really. Ok, it was takeout for the circle. I was
sent off on a big loop that would get me through some city streets.
Missed most of that and found the two blocks before the trail went back
into the woods. From here it went under the foot bridge over the tracks
and then along the tracks. Suddenly I heard, On In and there was the
pack and the late comers, in a deep depression out of the wind, drinking
beer and hot chocolate. A few minutes later the hare arrived with Pizza
and we had a short circle enjoying what we could in the single digit
cold. No wussies here.
x
Thu. Jan 6, 2022. The Thirstday Hash. SnatchSquatch
laid trail from Wang Park for the few and hardy no wimps hashers. And
another frigid night of single digits. Mommys Coming was soon long gone,
although I did spot him once more returning from a Split. I was behind
All Bush No Balls.
Garmin ws also long gone. So I'm on my own again. Trail was heading
south and towards Clybourn and some malls. A check there and I finally
lost trail. but I wandered the parking lot and worked my way past Costco
to Clybourn and Diversey. A Check. Hey, I hadn't found the last one
yet. Well I looped the intersection Counterclockwise before finding were
the pack came to that Check. Start over. And damn, the trail out was
were I should have come in and now I knew where the trail should go. So I
short cut to the river and there is the trail. Along the river and then
working its way north and by a big park. Damn, they aren't there. So I
find trail east and finally figure out were they were heading and I'm in
in time to end the circle and withing 10 minutes we were gone.
X
Sat.
Jan 8, 2022, The Big Dog Hash. The Eight Beer Stop Hash. On Friday
night I got an email that my co hare couldn't make it. I could have made
a call or two and maybe found a co-hare. This is a hard hash to set
alone. You have to carry a case and a half of beer with you as you set
trail. But I had an "Here, hold my beer" moment and decided I would try
to do it myself. Like I got hit by a stupid stick. I wanted to be in the
woods by 10AM. It was 11:30. Over two hours by bus hauling all of the
shit I needed. I weighed myself when I woke up. 153.2. I left home
weighing 216.6 with winter gear and supplies and beer. I formed a plan
and took off. After walking fom the El to the woods, I knew it was time
to change plans. Laying the trail backwards. Get rid of the heaviest
beer stop loads first. Gone was 8 beers. A short time later, gone was 7
beers. Re adjust my loads and leave one bag behind. Now there was no way
I would finish trail in time to get back to the start going backwards.
So I headed to the start to set the rest of the trail forward. Into the
woods and a slightly different direction then normal. And right there,
at the very start, I found out that Lower Wackorr tripped over a log
covered in snow and face planted on another log. Ouch. Are you okay???
For safety sake, after the hash he was driven home. I digress. and with
all that white snow, I lost track of where I was and direction. And I
ran a back check into a loop and back on myself. WTF. I finally
eliminated that and they never found it. Good. But where the f8ck was I.
Compass. Found south and after a few more f*ck ups I finally came to
the stream. Frozen solid. With all the delays and shit, I figured I
could lay Beer Stop #1 here, so the lead hound could stand there
drinking beer and watch everyone else try to stand without falling. Here
is where SnatchSquatch and Chicken Ctiffer ranged. It was a Check, and
found marks at the nearby path. Damn, they could have snared me. But the
rest of the pack ran on. Beer Stop #2 was in this lean two built with
logs in the deep woods. Yogi's home. And B.S, #3 was in a hollow log. So
the pack is following those two other hounds on paths and a long run on
icy paths and lots of Splits and another two Checks. These first two S
and CS found B. S. #4 but couldn't find the damn beer. This was just as
the trail hit the wet lands and a long stretch of slippery ice, over one
hundred yards. Most of the pack ran past them and at the other end of
the ice, they found #5. All is good and I'm still ahead. From here it
was across a bridge and into the woods again, along the stream bed and
into a patch of reeds that were about fifteen feet high. And right in
the middle was B. S, #6. After here I went to check on previous trail to
see if anyone was out there. False Advertising saw me, but I didn't see
were they had hit those arrows I laid in a path after B. S. #1. So
appaarently I was safely ahead of the pack. I walked on and finally
brought traiil back to B. S. #7. Got out my other bag and more warm
clothes and headed back looking for the pack. and just as I was heading
out, I saw the pack heading for B. S. #7. Joined them and all wss good.
We held circle at thel local shelter. After the circle a brief Swing
Low, several of us including, Mommys Coming, SnatchSquatch, Cockholm
Symdrone and Back Door Bizzle headed over to the Cabana Club for the ON
ON ON. Also on trail was Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her and
Zone 2. And all smiles around x
Sun. Jan 9, 2022. The Chicago Hash, Supposedly
a trail, but they were unjustifiably discriminating against others for
their private medical decisions. So totally unhashlike. I don't support
discrimination and won't at any other hashes. If you can't invite all,
don't invite any and let someone else do it. But don't take away our
regular hashes. We hashed all last winter without this discrimination.
Sorry for the rant, but I needed a good run after Sat.
x
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E
x
The Tale of the Trail
X
Sat.
Dec 18. 2021, The Bushman Hash. Horn-E laid trail from Edgebrook Woods.
Small pack but ready to go. We headed straight towards the river with
me in pursuit sweeping and watching the trail develop. Chicken Stiffer
was already ranging to the right of trail and was lucky as the trail got
to the river and went that way. Stuffin Muffin was soon right after him
on true trail. Over Central and into deep woods, SM soon caught up to
CS, probably catching a short cut or two. I tried to catch up and still
keep the back of the pack in sight. Magnetic Muff and Lower Wackoff soon
passed me. There was a back Check and suddenly LIfa, Back Door Bizzle
and Just Do Me slowly came from the road, short cutting and the pack was
whole again. Trail finally crossed some water and up to the golf course
and a Check. Lifa was off through the golf course. MM and CS were
wandering around in the near golf course. Everyone else was off towards
the Club House, the wrong direction. Finally it was decided that the
trail went west and CS took the lead and over the bridge. Lifa, I think,
wandered on to this other bridge and came back towards trail. The rest
of the pack followed true trail. Over the bridge we entered some more
woods and CS emerged first to another Check. He went NW on two marks and
then down hill. And the rest also went down hill towards a False. A
long False, that Lifa found coining from the other direction. Back at
the Check, Lifa finally found the Check and it went to where CS was
checking. Around a green and then down hill into the woods again and to
the next fairway. Never saw CS again and from where I was. I could see
where the trail left the area and over a road. Bye. Meanwhile Lifa found
trail over a hill and towards another green and back down hill towards
the river. And here the rest of the pack gathered and found the hole in
the fence. And a Check. Here is where I found out I was running out of
time and the trail went pretty much straight back in the woods, just
north of Caldwell until near the end of the woods. Across Caldwell and
what narrow band of woods the hare could find. Good circle back in the
shelter and all was good.
x
Sun
Dec 26, 2021. The Chicago Hash, Back Door Bizzle laid a trail from
along the tracks behind his house just south of Montrose. About 10 or 12
on trail. I lost my list. We headed south along the tracks with two
checks before we got to Wrigley Field. And for once we didn't run around
it. Yea! But a quick Circle Jerk and heading west on Waveland. I'm now
falling behind with Just Do Me Slowly and a visitor, Touch Me ???. We
struggled along here and there and managed to stay on trail which
eventually circled back towards the lakefront and the entrance under
Lake Shore Drive south of Addison. By now I'm ahead and following trail
along the lagoon. Somehow near the Totem Pole, they saw a Check and
found trail marked to the north and east of the tennis courts. I went on
true trail to the west of the tennis courts, around the club house and
back to the main trail. I'm now behind them, but still looking back for
them. WTF. I finally hit the Beer Stop in that little park, lower lever,
about 4200 North and the pack is gone. I finally caught up to the hare
and a few walkers and we walked on back to the finish. Interesting
circle, The hare ran it himself and then doled out gifts to almost
everyone. Cleaning out his house of misc, crap. But fun, as long as you
didn't get a T-Shirt.
x
Dec
29, 2021, Whiskey Wednesday Hash. Son Of Spam laid this maze and it
truly was. Thanks to the CTA, I arrived late and got off the bus and saw
a mark. Hoping to still catch the hare and a shag wagon I ran backwards
on trail and finally ran into Garmin and Cockholm Syndrome. Hare's gone
and the pack is ON. So I follow, carrying my back pack, and the hare
really jerked the pack around at 22nd and Halsted. Behind a factory and a
False. Back out and south and west and a real well laid Circle Jerk
straight back to Halsted and an arrow in the shadows. We finally are
heading west on 22nd and I'm falling behind the first two and False
Advertising. Llast I saw them is when they went north from there. Lower
Wackoff caught up around here and the two of us fought that damn trail
with more damn Splits then single marks. Add in a few checks and you get
it. And the two slowest hounds in Chicago struggling along. But we
stayed sort of together. Really struggled on a six corner intersection. I
circles the entire area and not one mark. Meanwhile Lower Wackoff
headed in the opposite direction looking for marks. Finally returned to
the check and saw this little alley. You bet. I'm on. I go back to the
corner and look for Lower Wackoff. Five minutes later and he finally
emerges to the south west yelling ON. But the On I found was to the
south east. My trail went to what he found. But one mark later and again
we can't find marks. Bastard hare. But we aren't quiting. A few more
mis directions and through the Mexican Paizza or monument circle. But it
is never easy with Checks and Splits as trail starts heading east. Damn
Hare. I'm in front, Lower wackoff is in front. trail is here, no,
somewhere else. but we push on and finally we come to this little park
near the hares abode. And there is the pack, circling around a camp gas
heater that really worked. The hare and Cockholm Syndrome and two
groupies. the other hounds already left. But the hare is suddenly
putting something on the heater wrapped in foil. Bingo, steamed hot
dogs. Needed that. And we held a short circle. Thanks hare. I'll get you
next time with a nasty trail.
x
Jan
1, 2022, the Chicago Hash, the Justs Hash. Hares were Berts Special
Friend, Son Of Spam, Crotch Fire & Just Dan from Vintage Bar with 12
hounds. Trail went generally south west and eventually towards that
same little park were we were on Whiskey Wednesday. A fast moving pack
that almost lost Back Door Bizzle, Horn-E, Just Do Me Slowly and Lower
Wackoff. Actually I didn't see the last two until the finish. But I
don't do shots so I left that first shot stop early and two blocks later
and I can't find the mark. Trouble throughout the course. Big marks in
chalk, but not always were you might look for them. Small marks with red
powder, but often barely visible. But trail went on and covering a lot
of the area from last Wednesday's hash. Finally worked its way north
along Ashland and then side streets to a little hill in a big field.
Shot stop. As soon as I arrived they pointed the way out and we're off
again. North to the famous missing Columbus statue that the Mayor was
going to return, before she isn't going to return it. Again with that
gas heater. Really nice when your hands finally start freezing. After
circle Cockholm Syndrome led a naming for Just Dan and we really had
some funny stories before we finally settled on Just For Men. One
virgin. Welcome Just Rob. Now sign him up for next years Just Justs
hash.
x
XWed
Oct. 27, 2021. The Whiskey Wednesday Hash. Horn-E laid
trail from his back yard at 1637 W. Glenlake. We had six hounds on
trail, back to the usual suspects. And they were soon off to the north
and past the first building with some nice Halloween directions.
Actually the trail went past all the hare could find. After a block the
trail headed east and a Check a block past Clark. And naturally the hare
succeed in catching the pack, or so I heard. Trail then went mostly
south to SennH. S. Athletic fields and then another Check. Caught them
again. From here the trail wandered over to the wimitary Memorial at
Clark and Ashland. Again the hare caught the pack. And then they bitched
about the hares marks. Damn hare. Rat Bastard. From here it was a loop
back towards the small stretch of shiggy off of Peterson for perhaps the
last time ever drink stop. Or so the pack thought. Not. Shortly after
was a Whiskey Very Near and back to the back yard. Plenty of whiskey and
beer was served and a short circle held and eventually everyone
filtered off amd a short Swing Low was sung. FRBs Lifa and Garmin, then
Lower Wackoff, Just Do Me Slowly and Stuffin Muffin and finally
Castration Sensation. Like I sid, the usual suspects. x
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E The Tale of the Trail
xSat,
Oct 16, 2021, Bushman Hash was set by Horn-E from Cumberland and Irving
Park. And four hounds showed up on a beautiful day for running in the
woods. The pack took off to the south and into prairie with tall prairie
grasses. From here is was along a wide path to a downed tree blocking
the path. The pack spent a good five minutes here trying to resolve a
Check. That took them into some think woods were running is almost
impossible but a lot of ducking under branches. It finally came out in a
section of forest that is sort of wide open. Trail went to the right,
north and eventually to a path. The hare thought he'd get smart here and
hold a long back check down the path. But Back Door Bizzle climbed over
this log and saw the return arrow from the back check. Screw the hare.
and they were on again winding around in this forest were running is
easy. Well, if you don't trip on a hidden branch or whatever. This
finally came out at another path and a Check. Two Falses one on each
direction of the path. Got the pack good. The middle was the way out,
back into woods and finally to a four way Split. Again the hare thought
he was smart. One of the middle arrows was the correct trail across the
small stream and to another path. Lifa did go this way, but missed the
next arrow, across a stream and to a path. The hare thought he was smart
with a big loop to the left on that path and eventually back to that
path on the right. But Lifa found trail to the right. So trail went on
to the hill and the usual Check on top. False Advertising was bitching
about that before he even got there. From there it was across the little
stream again and along a wide path, until it wasn't and almost up to
where that first Check was. At least that part worked. Then along the
little stream and through those original grasslands and there was the
hare arriving in this little clearing with beer and some good Polish
Sausages from the local hot dog place. After False Advertising there was
Lifa and Castration Sensation. We ate and drank beer and finally
started circle before Back Door Bizzle finally arrived and we had a full
circle. All was good. x
Thu Oct 17, 2021, The Chicago Hash. Gay
Dancer and Just Melinda hared from the Bar On Buena for 13 hounds.
Trail started with a Split and I headed south followed by Shartiste who
soon passed me. He ran by an arrow and didn't call out, but eventually I
got there and called and the pack followed. At the next corner there
was a Triple Split and I was on to the left/east. At the next corner I
was finally caught and passed by Just Jordan and it was a T and E Split.
He went T and I followed past this school and up to Lake Shore Drive.
Trail went north and another Split. Well, the tunnel was right there
under the Lake Shore Drive and I followed Just Jordan. Pretty soon the
rest of those on the Turkey trail passed me and we ran on past Irving
Park and towards the south end to the golf course entrance. I guessed
right on the trail then going north along the lake and another long
straight path. The Eagle trail went all the way to the Belmont Harbor
entrance. So they had twice as long of a straight path north as I had. I
Eat Dick eventually passed me from running the Eagle trail. Trail went
over the hill and at the top was a Check. I thought I saw I Eat Dick
running west on the path at the other side so I ran that way. Wrong. But
I ran into Just Plinney and Dick Me Two Fiddy. They couldn't find
anything and were back tracking. I decided to range a little further and
through the tunnel I found marks. I think I was ahead of the pack here
as I ran through a parking lot and and over to the bike path. Seeing no
marks, I headed north to Lawrence and found nothing, So I ranged west
and worked my way over to Sheridan and south and suddenly there is the
pack from the Turkey Trail. I followed and it was pretty straight
forward to the beer stop under the El tracks by the cemetary. And about
five minutes later the rest of the Eagles cam on in. We did have two new hashers, a virgin Just Lisa and a one timer Just Alex. Welcome.
x Tue Oct 19, 2021, The Chicago Full Moon Hash. Ice Princess hared from O'Neils with a helping hand from Brother Incisor. I
was soon behind and followed west on Wells. I was with Berts Special
Friend and Grateful Dick and Stuffin Muffin. We crossed to the south and
ran on to a Check and runners were disappearing ahead. The next Check
came quickly on Harrison and I saw Castration Sensation heading south.
My first choice. So I went east to the next street and then south.
Nothing and no one. I circled back and only found one mark. Went north
and found nothing. East, and not far enough as that was the trail. So, I
was sure it had to go south and ran on trying to intercept the pack by
the tunnel at Roosevelt. Hey, dummy. Yeah, you Horn-E. Trail was no
where near there. So I circled over to Michigan and started north hoping
to eventually catch trail. I did. Harrison. Got it now Dummy. So I
couldn't find the trail into the park and went back to Michigan and
north and again caught trail just before the Art Museum. This turned
east in front of the Museum and I again lost trail heading west on
Adams. So again I tried to go straight and eventually catch trail
crossing Adams. And I did at Wells. From here it was a short bit over to
this little park on a hill and there was most of the pack. Damn short
cutting bastard. When the pack got in, we headed back to the bar and
held a Chicago Full Moon Circle
x Thu Oct 21, 2021, The Thirstday Hash. Meat
Inside Her hared from Skinner Park for 6 trail hounds. Trail headed
south and then west. And we were sort of together until we crossed
Ashland and a Check. Trail went west and around the United Center. I'm
falling behind when I come up to Dick Hermonica and False Advertising
wandering around. Apparently I missed a Check and they were working
False directions. Then we heard Castration Sensation to the east and
headed that way. I finally found a mark and we were in pursuit. And
again I was left behind. After a few hidden marks in shadows and such I
finally came to a Triple split, unmarked. Castration Sensation had been
going back and marking all of the Splits. Anyhow I went the wrong way
and finally called it. It was to far to ever catch up. Back at the start
waited for the pack for about 10 minutes. Glad I quit when I heard were
the beer stop was. I would have missed the whole circle.
This was a
trail were we were supposed to wear pink Dresses. It helps if some
Harriets also show and wear dresses instead of leaving it all to the
men. And it helps if trails were in an area with great foot traffic and a
big pack of hounds staying together instead of just racing through the
trail. But beside that, The last part of the trail went through the west
loop and a whole hell of a lot of sidewalk restaurants. Unfortunately
empty with the weather and being dark. But it would have been a great
money making hash if we had that pack of 30, staying together creating a
fun scene and on a sunny Thursday evening in August with the
restaurants full of people. Just a suggestion after doing these all
Month.
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E
The Tale of the Trail
x
Tue. Oct 5, 2021, The 4X2H4 Hash, Horn-E
laid an incredibly shitty trail from the Senior Citizens park. That is
far as that old fart can get. Trail started out to the west and past
some great Halloween decorations. Reminded everyone of Horn-E's addled
mind. And then south to the first Check. They ran south and west and
found nothing, Trail went east on Fullerton and then through some alleys
and twisting back and forth as it headed to the south. Finally another
Check at Armitage and Damen and again some great Falses, yeah sure, to
the west and south. But trail went east and then south past Lotties and
through a little park and another Check. Only one trail was laid from
there, up onto 606 trail. but they dispersed anyhow while Cockholm
Syndrome got pissed having to actually run a long way to the third mark.
Hey, there was no other way. And On it went to the west. There was
another Check at some exits from 606 and the pack got confused here.
Especially right after they actually found trail and a Check at a
intersection with about 22 actual possibilities. Again, only one way was
marked out and they couldn't find it. WTF. But they ranged and finally
found it. Meanwhile, Stuffin Muffin, Magnetic Muff and Just Do Me
Slowly had already quit and were walking on in. Meat Inside Her blazed
through the final maze of alleys not even looking back and was the real
FRB. Then came Cockholm Syndrome and Berts Special Friend and finally
our DFL, Castration Sensation. Well, at least he ran it all. A nice
little circle and on home after an rendition of Cum Buy Here by Horn-E.
x
Thu Oct 7, 2021, The Thirstday Hash. SnatchSquatch
hared from Welles Park We had a small pack of just 6 men, no harriets on trail yet again. And a dress hash. SnatchSquatch
took off on a live trail due to the weather. We headed north and worked
our way to Lawrence and Western and a Check. Everyone scattered and
Castration finally found trail south on Lincoln through the mall area. I
passed him at a Split and led for four or five blocks always picking
the Splits right. Finally a Triple Split near Wells Park, the start. Gay
Dancer and Crash Test Blow Me found trail to the east and I was two
blocks south on nothing. I ranged east and saw them ahead. From there it
was the three of us over to Damen and south as I tried to keep them in
sight. Yeah, they were soon gone. But trail was fairly predictable and I
plugged along and kept going back to mark the trail for the back of the
pack. We worked out way west to Ravenswood and south to Irving Park
before finally returning somewhat along Lincoln. Meanwhile the hare came
to Montrose and Lincoln and was snared by Castration Sensation, Back
Door Bizzle and Dickin Me Two-fiddy. Well, not really. They were still
stuck at that three way. So they all quit and went on in with the hare
and I kept marking trail for three guys who were already drinking beer.
Short circle was held and I finally headed home.
x
Fri
Oct 8, 2021, The First Crack of the Moon Hash. Damn, same old story.
CTA. Two buses in a row with no relief driver at Foster and the bus sat
there with 15 to 20 people for a half hour. I finally missed my last
possible transfer that would have gotten me into the start just a little
late. Son Of Spam laid this trail from Eckert Park and only four hounds
showed up. Hey, nice night and some good urban trails from that spot.
But the hounds were Dick Hermonica, Lifa, Berts Special Friend and Meat
Inside Her. Hope it was a good trail.
x
Sat
Oct 9, 2021, The Big Dog Hash. Pony Pounder hared from the Lakeview Tap
Room with a 5 to 6 mile trail and a mid point beer stop and a finish
under the El tracks near Montrose. The trail started out east and west
and east and west and finally a Check to the north of the start. Here is
where SnatchSquatch went wrong/right. He ran to marks he saw on the way
to the start and was on the On In trail. And he ran on and on until he
got to the BN and B and of course no one was there. We were heading west
while he went east. Check at Ashland split us up and we got to a Split
at Ashland and Montrose and here I found the right trail out of there.
As I ran on to the next Check I found Cockholm Syndrome already there. I
picked the right way and was ahead to the next Check near tracks. Again
I picked right, sort of. Upon returning from a False, there were marks
to the north on Ravenswood as as I turned a corner there was the visitor
Handy Capable, or whatever. So the two of us ran on and suddenly there
were more coming up behind us. And we headed west some more and to a
beer stop where Pony Pounder left his credit card with the bartender. So
the pack sat outside and enjoyed some good beer, etc and I ran on. Two
blocks later I ran into SnatchSquatch running the trail backwards. I
directed him to beer and ran on. From there the trail wandered nicely,
but all of the Splits and Checks were already marked and I could only
follow along to the finish, just as the hare arrived with beer. Nice
circle under the tracks.
x
Sun. Oct 10, 2021, Chicago
Marathon beer stop. Hashes from all area hashes
gathered near mile 23 to hand out beer to marathoners. Over 20 years
now. We meet just east of the Dan Ryan and the Red Line and under the
railroad tracks. Only this year the cops busted them. So they headed
east to State St and then south about a block and set up there. They
like that place and weather permitting we will meet there again. Anyhow
it ran on to about 2:00pm before cups ran out. So those that were
running the hash, walked over to the start of that.
x
Sun. Oct 10, 2021, The Chicago Hash. Mudsucker
laid trail from Turtles as usual with it ending in his back yard for
circle. A short trail to the east and through the campus and the south
for a big loop and then past Comiskey Park where the White Sox were in a
playoff game later in the day. Fans in black everywhere. We ran through
a parking area and to a beer stop that Lifa managed for Mudsucker. From
there. as usual I ran on, there was a hairpin loop and then some trail
to the south for a few blocks and back north to his back yard. I was the
FBB. Soon the pack arrived and we held circle and then the pack started
to leave, looking for food. Beautifual day.
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E
The Tale of the Trail
xWed. Sep 29, 2021, The Whiskey Wednesday Hash, Lower
Wackoff hared from Smith Park for 8 hounds. I was racing to get there
and got there just as they started chalk talk. We were soon off to the
North west of the park and a Check. Really mixed up start, but I finally
heard a call to the west and I was off. Cockholm Syndrome soon passed
me and was long gone. I ran on and eventually found myself running west
to a Split. Damn, I went wrong and it was a damn long block. But I kept
going north to the first EW street and headed west. Several blocks later
I found a mark and was back on trail. Lucky ranging. Ran on to the park
and heard an On call and was soon heading south in the park and then
back to the east. After a Back Check we were regrouping a little bit and
we followed Grand to the east with a few quick loops to the north. One
through some dark overgrown back alley. I and a few others got called
out for chickening out and going around that. Hell, with my eyes I
couldn't see shit back there. The next section included a phony T and E
Split. I passed Castration Sensation along here as he seemed to hesitate
and I was back on Grand heading east and past the start on the other
side of the street. Running On there was a Check near the train station
that was swept. So someone is ahead. Across Western and north a block
and east again. Now here the hare got tricky and had a turn to the north
and just across the street was a turn to the south coming from the
east. And no one stumbled on that short cut. I finally ran past the
local gang or whatever. Boy where they misguided. They called me young
man. I had to set then straight. I earned those wrinkles and gray hairs.
Here as where Castration Sensation caught up to me. A block later we
headed south to a Check. I guessed right that the trail might go north
on the other side of the street. The problem is I guessed that the trail
"might" go north. It did to a False and I got a looong run down an
alley to nowhere and no trail. Returning to the Check, the DFL group
arrived. Dick Hermonica, Stuffin Muffin and Son Of Spam, walking along.
So Castration Sensation and I continued Checking. He went south and I
went west on the south side of the street and near the end I found the
3rd Mark. The back of the pack was following me. This is that mark I
mentioned earlier as trail went south here. At the alley I saw
Castration Sensation at the far end of an alley. I called out several
times to him. He heard me, but didn't know where from and he went back
to the Check and everyone was gone. It took him about ten minutes to
find the trail on his own. Meanwhile trail went south past the homeless
guy in a wheel chair who lived under the tracks and to the next street.
Then east and a block later north and we ran into the Whiskey Stop.
Whiskey and beer were consumed and then we returned to the start for
circle. It was a drunken circle and with respect, the story will end
here. I got a ride from Stuffin Muffin and took off after circle. X
Thu Sep 30, 2021, The Thirstday Hash. Just
Christian and Cockholm Syndrome hared an A to A' trail from The
Green Door. Didn't Lifa just put out a clarification that A to A' meant
close, not four blocks away. And so my bag and drink were stuck in Steps
In Shit's car four blocks from the finish and I had nothing to drink.
Damn. A to A' should be close, like less then a block. Otherwise it
starts falling into an A to B category. We did have 12 hounds and we
were soon off to the east through a parking lot and a mix up exiting.
Returning to the exit a Check was found and I headed north with two
trailing. Bad move. Trail went east. By the time I got on trail I found
myself in a maze of alleys with an occasional street to get us to the
next alley. Finally I saw Stiffy 4 Stiffies as he blew past me. Bye bye.
A wrong guess and soon I got over to Clark St. and checked south.
Nothing. Crossing the street I found a mark going south and Construction
Junction heading south. We ran on together and found trail to the
south, over the river and into another series of alleys. She missed a
mark and headed south. Trail went west. And soon I was joined by Hump
Tale Fail and another Just Christian. Damn Christians everywhere. We
missed a turn and found a dead end. Returning I found the marks to the
south on Franklin. Here Construction Junction rejoined us and then we
saw False Advertising on the other side of the street heading north and
calling us. Trail now headed west on Randolph and over the river. The
hare thought he would catch us on a deep stairway to river level, but
this little group was to smart for that. Around the building and up to a
little raised hidden park and over Lake Street. Here trail went to
river level and north to a little tiny gap in a concrete wall and out
onto tracks. I'm all alone along here and I couldn't find the next mark.
So I ranged north to Kinzie and a BN Split and Construction Junction
blows right by me coming from the west. We cross the river and trail
went to river lever and there was Its Too Soft, The three of us head
north and I basically fell back as trail ran the river level, a quick
loop up and back to river lever until we found the Beer stop under the
hares building and along the river. And circle was held. And when one
Christian drinks, all Christians drink for the last time. Then a naming.
And my hearing aid batteries went dead, so I have no idea what we named
Just Christian, or why. Sorry. But then we moved on.
xSun. Oct 3, 2021,The Chicago Hash. Its Too Soft laid trail from his roof deck.
We had 12 hounds including one Visitor from Mo Town, Handy Capable (did
I get that right) and one virgin, Just Mike, brought to us by All Bush
No Balls. We took off to the west and then north through some alleys and
such and then east to the usual Clark/Halsted Check. Trail went north
on Halsted and then a Triple Split at Belmont. Trail went west and at
Wilton we headed north and started to get a few sprinkles. At the next
corner the marks were starting to fade. We headed west on School to
Kenmore and then north and the marks were starting to disappear. But Gay
Dancer and Pony Pounder both said they saw a check at Sheffield and
Roscoe. But by the time we got there, it was gone. Washed away. Like
completely. And yet it was hardly raining. So trail was called and I
mentioned where I had seen BN on my way to the start. A usual area Beer
Stop in a playground. And why not. It was raining. The kids would be
gone. Se we headed there and it was no longer raining. And the BN was
dry and bright and the kids were swinging away. Apparently a very
localized shower went east on the north side of Belmont wiping out that
part of the trail. We headed on in and at the finish, the chalk talk
marks were dry and beautiful, and the hare was just starting out with
the beer for the beer stop. Shit happens. We went to the roof and
eventually False Advertising held a circle. Then we sat around waiting
for promised food, four slab of real tasty ribs and some sides. Great
grub even if the trail got fucked. Thanks Its Too Soft for the grub.
x
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E The Tale of the Trail
x
Thu Sep 23, 2021, The Thirstday Hash. SnatchSquatch laid trail for 6 hounds from Horner Park and Horn-E got screwed
up before the first mark. What else is new. After chalk talk
SnatchSquatch pointed with his elbow to where the trail began. I saw
that as almost straight north and I was figuring the street or alley
right across Montrose. Castration Sensation headed straight for the
paved path. I think he might have seen a mark on his way into the park,
because this is where the trail went and a quick Check. Trail was found
to the south and the pack was gone heading straight south. Meanwhile,
with the trail not going my way, I headed east towards the bridge and
there was an arrow going into this new shiggy path along the river. Not
knowing I was on a False from a Check, i followed the Arrow and the
path. Four blocks of walking in the dark and running when it was light
enough and eventually coming out of this section at a paved path heading
under the Irving Park bridge over the river. Newly developed trail
here. And there was an arrow going under and then on up to Irving Park.
Well, I figured out what happened and all I could do was follow the
trail, mostly well marked, except when it wasn't. And the Hare was
sweeping. Trail headed south along the buildings fronting California and
with one small mishap I found myself heading south on California. Trail
headed west and then south to Addison and again west. There was a Check
somewhere around here that confused the pack for some time until the
hare gave a hint to Dryrafoam and they were off and running. Then I came
along and the trail was marked for a short cut for me and we were soon
heading north. Then suddenly Stiffy 4 Stiffies passed me. Where the hell
did he come from. Oh, yeah, Target. Shopping again. Naturally I
couldn't keep up, but I ran on and on, and skipped climbing a fence, and
eventually found myself heading into Horner Park again. BN ahead. And
as I approach this little garden area, there was an arrow pointing
straight in and that is what I did. I saw some creepy old man in the
back and naturally I assumed any one that creepy had to have something
to do with the hash. Not. The pack called out and there they were in
another corner, hiding in the shadows. Circle was held here and
eventually we all wandered off.
xMon. Sep 27, 2021, The Chicago Hash. Silent
But Deadly hared for 13 hounds from Hamlin Park. The trail started out
with a few Splits and a Check as we started around the park in a
clockwise direction. As a pack there seemed to be little coordination,
like calling out ON ON or blowing a whistle. And so after three blocks I
found myself behind with a visitor, I Cum From A Clam Down Under, and
running from way behind. We were sort of kindred spirits. Run a bit and
walk a bit. And we fell further behind. That is what I get for actually
Checking and ending up in the wrong direction. Trail went east and south
to Diversey and then east. And suddenly there was someone ahead of us
crossing the street. We did to and came to an unswept Check as was the
whole rest of the trail. So we were on our own. That other hasher was
Castration Sensation who was soon working that Check and the next one,
before we fell behind him. But trail did go east to Ashland and
eventually north and east and north until finally coming out at Belmont
and Ashland and a BN Check. Duh! where could this trail go. Hmmm. West
and I was soon on and just as I established that and looked back to call
out to the visitor, Just Jordan swept on by me. Well, trail went
straight west to a block west of Damen and then south to the park. We
headed over to the ball field and held circle with Cockholm Syndrome
leading the circle. We were introduced to our visitor and then our
virgin, Just Laura, and then the circle descended into a mess. But we
could count on Dick Hermonica to bring sense out of chaos when
necessary.
x
Swing Low and On OnHorn-E
The Tale of the Trail
x
Mon. Sep 13, 2021, The Chicago Hash. Castration
Sensation hared from the sidewalk in front of Driftwood for 19 hounds
for an A to B Hash. Would we end up under the tracks again. Trail was
off to the east and with a few twists and a back chcck we got to Lincoln
Park and everyone was heading north without any arrows. WTF. So I
returned and with Back Door Bizzle, found marks into the park. These
went north to around the field house and north. But by the time I got
there, the pack had found those marks and was gone. I find the trail and
now I'm DFL for my efforts. And so we head north towards Lawrence and
then south a bit before heading west. Here I ran into Lower Wackoff
telling me that the re was a back check and so we head east. Along came
Mommys Little Accident and Just Emanuel and Just Monica. No marks. We
missed a turn in the dark. But we are soon on and they are all
disappearing in the distance. I trudge on and soon come to a T and E at
Wilson and Clark. I think I am way behind so I take the T trail and
running in the dark I miss a turn and right behid me are Lafa and two
virgins. So we back track and I find a turn to Clark and we're heading
south. And they pass me. And then four of the FRBs come passing me. This
leads to a short loop and back to Clark at Montrose. Is this On IN.
Hell no. Damn. Straight south. I find a not swept Check and head into a
long alley. Nothing. I return and head south and spot Just Emanuel and
Just Monica and we find trail south. Eventually I spot more behind me as
we head east on Irving and I was able to give then a short cut before
the long straight a way past the cemetery and then north under the
tracks along the cemetery before finding the pack and beer stop mear
Montrose. All was good and the usual circle between the screaming trains
above.
X
Thu Sep 16, 2021, 7:00pm, The Thirstday Hash. Soul
Taco was a last minute hare and it was a long trail and good, except
when it wasn't. And that really split our small pack. Yes, only five
hounds. We took off to the west amid screaming crowds of Mexicans
celebrating Mexican Independence Day. I've got to wonder, since so many
are in America illegally or first time citizens, if they bother to
celebrate America's Independence Day as enthusiastically. Doubt it. But
we soon hnad a Check at Armitage and following the usual lead of Mommys
Coming, four of us headed north. We never saw Castration Sensation until
after circle and the hare and GM were leaving. He got a shade under 9
miles. WOW. in the freaking dark with marks often in shadows. Although
the hare did try to correct that near the end. Anyway four of us ran on.
and at Western and Milwaukee and Armitage, a really wide spread six way
intersection, we finally broke apart as a pack. Hump Tale Fail and Just
Christian were to the west and south and I never saw them again. Mommys
Coming went west and saw a mark, I followed a bit, but saw him
returning. Never saw him again. I started ranging and ranging and found
three falses as in no third arrow. Damn Hare. Actually, well done hare.
Now if only we had a large enough pack for that tactic. Anyway as I
circled the corner counter clockwise I finally started south on Western
and found trail. This led to 606 and up a ramp and a Split. Now thinking
I'm DFL I needed to get this right. I headed left, not right, and of
course, not right. Somehow I missed the False mark and by the time I got
to the next exit in the trail I realized that there were no marks. And
none at the exit. So, like I said, probably DFL, I ran on on 606 and for
me, with no cracks in the side walks in shadows to worry about
tripping, I had a very good run for me on into the finish and I was
SCB/FRB. Damn. So I went with the hare and GM to the B in the nearby
park and a short time later Hump Tale Fail and Just Christian came on
in. Then after a long wait Mommys Coming limped on in, bleeding knee
from a trip and his shoe off because of his stubbed toe. We eventually
held circle not knowing when if ever Castration Sensation would show up,
And he doesn't quit. And he didn't.
x
Fri. Sep 17, 2021, The Chicago Full Moon Hash, Coming
Right Meow hared from Colunbus and Monroe. She planned a trail through
Grant Park and all the way out to the planetarium. But rain was eminent
and so she canceled that part and we would run Grant Park. Eventually
there were only four of us, the usual suspects. We took off through the
park and Lower Wackoff disappeared. But we got to Buckingham Fountain
and a Check. Here Stuffin Muffin disappeared. Think he caught a lot of
the back trail as it came close, too close to Buckingham Fountain.
Meanwhile I found trail towards Lake Shore Drive. Alone. Found my way
back towards the fountain and then south to the first street and near
Lake Shore Drive. I think somehow Lower Wackoff and Magnetic Muff were
ahead of me and they found arrows across Lake Shore Drive and ON south.
Meanwhile, not finding arrows I ranged south to the tunnel were trail
had to return from the lake front. And there was Lower Wackoff. And a
Split. He went left and I went right, and right, and on to the next
tunnel and from here trail went north on Columbus. Lower Wackoff and I
worked that north until we were right west of the fountain. Trail went
east towards the fountain and an arrow just before Columbus. I crossed
the street, but I'm thinking, it can't go here. It is to close to the
first Check. It didn't. The hare had on more arrow before Columbus and
it turned north. And here is where Magnetic Muff caught us and led us
further north along the tracks. We finally worked our way toward
Michigan and an arrow going north and I took the lead. At the Art
Institute there was an arrow west and over to Wabash and then the rains
started. But a block later I was running up to the Beer Near and Stuffin
Muffin. We rang the buzzer and as the hare arrived, so did the last two
and we headed into the inner sanctum and the hares condo. Castro Dick
Assist was waiting there. and six cats and a dog. The hare cooked up a
massive amount of food for us and we all ate well. By the time we
finished, the rain stopped and we headed up to the roof deck for circle.
After a short circle we ended with a new finishing song and then
settled into the voyeur game as we were about 19 floors up and across
from the Palmer House Hotel. Every room was a new story on its own.
Pulling back the blankets, closing the curtains in her nightie, the
usual stuff. And no one knew we were there. Until some lady spotted us.
Lower Wackoff lifted up his shirt as in flashing and, she glanced behind
her and then did so herself. DDDdam those were nice. Thanks LW. But all
good shows come to an end and I had to leave to set tomorrows trail.
Damn.
x
Sat. Sep 18, 2021, The Bushman Hash. Horn-E laid
trail from La Bagh Woods. This was the day of the Chicago Beer Society
Picnic (CBSP), a week later then normal. Many hashers go to this,
including those that would like to also do the Bushman Hash. Conflict.
So I tried to accommodate, as best as I could. I set the hash for the
same area and we would just hash and then hang out near the picnic and
drink our own beer. I set the trail and then couldn't find the hashers. I
was at the wrong picnic grove, where they usually set up the CBSP.
Ooops. But then I saw Lower Wackoff and we headed over to the area of
the CBSP. Saw hashers and headed over to let them know where we would
start at if anyone wanted to hash. Hostility. Vaccinations. Screw this.
Returned to where we were set up and after waiting a long time for one
other hasher who wanted to run, Stuffin Muffin, suddenly Castration
Sensation showed up with his girlfriend Just Cortney. They couldn't find
the hashers either, but found trail and already ran it. Walked it. A
nice stroll or run along mostly paths and the troll under the bridge
hiding behind his rock house. So, Lower Wackoff and Stuffin Muffin took
off on trail and were soon On In. The five of us, and eventually
Magnetic Muff joined us, held a Bushman Circle and at the finish we
tried my new circle finishing song, Then those signed up for the picnic
went there to eat and drink. They even brought us a few offerings, And
the rest of us relaxed in the shade over more beer. Actually, it worked
pretty good.
x
Mon. Sep 20, 2021, The Chicago Hash. Lower
Wackoff will hare from Mather Park for another small hash with seven
locals and a visitor and a virgin. We took off to the south and really
screwed that up before ShartiB found trail in an alley, We got up to
Peterson and traffic and our virgin really showed he might make a good
hasher by playing frogger as he raced through the speeding traffic and
headed north. Here we ran into heavy traffic, men in black, who blocked
the whole side walk. People can't have fun on our sidewalks. But we ran
by anyhow to a check. Several went north and nothing. Putt Putt in The
Butt went east and into an alley with nothing. Stuffin Muffin went west
and then they all tried that again and nothing. Lifa was last seen to
the north, on the other side of the street. Bingo. Finally Castration
Sensation and Horn-E went that way and found it a long block later. So
now we are heading west and north and almost to Devon before heading
west in the alley and south to Rosemont and Kedzie. And her was a Triple
Split. And when I got there, it had been researched in all directions
and nothing. In circle it was said that ShartiB went the correct way
through brush to waters edge and heard critters and returned. Trail was
in flour marked on trees. (Something the hare neglected to mention in
circle.) Anyhow I went north in a parking lot along the river. Nothing.
Returned on Kedzie. South was already researched. Damn. So I went back
north and then started ranging over the river and on south on a bike
path where I found a mark. Turned out to be one off of a Check and
nothing else. Returned to the Check and now I had to figure out the way
into and/or out of the Check. I found the way in, from over on Kedzie
and the T and E split. And there was Castration Sensation. I called on
and returned to the Check and found another False. Eventually while
ranging the hare drove on by and told me it was over across the street
heading south on Lincoln. And there it was, into the parking lot of the
motel where you might check in, but you really MIGHT CHECK OUT. Yeah
there was a shooting there a month earlier, as a fugitive, suspicion of
double murder, and now surrounded by cops, killed himself. Ooops. I
quickly checked out of there and headed south and where the T and E
regrouped. So now I'm running south in this park for a few blocks and
then east. Marks in the street and then over to the side walk and
finally a Check. And there were several sweep arrows scribbled out. I
went south and nothing, crossed the street and an arrow heading south.
This was On and I head east at the next corner. Then another screw up,
hare/me, I'll let the hash gods say. A Split going east and north, swept
as east. I went east and back and back east again. just past the alley
in the second block was a faded out arrow. I'm on again. It was a good
thing I was running good on this trail. Why in hell an I suddenly
running good. For me. Hell. I'll take it. Then I come to a Triple split.
Right, Left, or straight. It is marked Straight. It wasn't. It was
midway between straight and right in an alley. But not straight. That
was as straight as some guy hanging out in boys town six nights a week
and saying he isn't gay, he just likes the music. So I run on in this
alley and come to a street and no more marks. Damn. So I return and find
the hidden turn mark at a parking lot. Now I'm crossing Lincoln and
eventually into an alley and a Check Back 5. I return and work that
fifth arrow in all possible directions and nothing. So I finally call it
and run back to the start and find that the Beer stop is at a park on
Peterson. I get there just in time to walk in behind Magnetic Muff. DFL.
So I get my drink and we head back to Mather Park. Lifa led a circle
and we met our visitor Preteen Protien and our virgin Just Jordon. Then I
took off home, walking with Putt Putt In The Butt and Castration
Sensation, two miles more.
The Tale of the Trail
x
Tue Sep 7, 2021, The 4X2 Hash. False
Advertising hared from Union Park. Unfortunately, Union Park was fenced
off for the Pitchfork Music Festival and so they had to make do and
make it an A to B trail. I heard that they had about 10 hounds including
Castration Sensation, Lower Wackoff and Cockholm Syndrome. But not me.
Cheers were heard throughout the area. Yeah, I went for my bus and there
was a 45 minute delay. So I went home. Damn. I heard it was a pretty
good trail. Now that has to be false advertising if I ever heard it. And
two checks after the BN had the pack bitching to me a day later. But once the beer flowed, all was good.
x
Wed,
Sep 9, 2021 The First Crack of the Moon Hash Sleeping Booty laid trail
from Lincoln Park near Armitage. Many late comers, and they still passed
me on trail. But in the end, we had 14 hounds on trail. That included
two walkers, Menage A Twat and a new transplant Likes It Rough.
Apparently this trail was to rough for her, or maybe just to fast. But
those to Harriets took off on trail and haven't been seen since. The
rest of us took off through Old Town and on south and they soon lost me.
Two late comers did blow right by me, the GMs, Berts Special Friend and
Meat Inside Her. But I ran on and eventually got caught by a back
check. That is when another late comer came by, Lifa. And pretty soon we
got separated and I was on my own. What else is new. But most of the
checks were swept. Finally I ran by a little fire house and never saw
another mark. Apparently the trail headed over to the Viagra Triangle
and then north to Lincoln Park and On In. I ranged to Division and then
east looking for trail crossing where I was. At every damn intersection.
All four corners. Damn, and they still snuck by me. At the Park I ran
on in and somehow wasn't last in. Nice Moon Style circle and all was
good and we hung around in the dark.
x
Thu
Sep 10, 2021, The Thirstday Hash. #900 Hash. Hooch B4 Cooch laid a live
trail from the Mouse Trap on an A to B trail. A small pack at the start
but 2 Divvy riders showed up later on trail, for a total of ten trail
hounds. Trail went east and SnatchSquatch
soon disappeared to the front as the rest of us sort of stayed together
in the dark. Until we hit Larrabee and North. Then it seemed as if we
lost several or did they lose us. But we were suddenly a small pack of
myself, Castro Dick Assist, Coming Right Meow, Castration Sensation,
etc. I finally found trail for our little group past the snarling dog
threatening my life if I yelled On On for the pack. But we worked our
way to Armitage and then past Mansion row and back. By now I am falling
behind and at Halsted was a Split and suddenly no marks. After three
blocks I heard an On On across the street and there was Castration
Sensation and Putt Putt in the Butt heading into an alley. We finally
emerged from that area there was a lot of the missing pack. WTF. We ran
west to Clybourn and a Check. Putt Putt In The Butt and myself headed
straight west and I picked up on trail coming out of Binnys. Hey, it was
withing normal ranging room. But the trail went north instead before
working its way back there. Meanwhile we ran on and south through the
old railroad right away, across North and over the bridge to Goose
Island. And there was SnatchSquatch and the hare and the non runners
were already starting to gather. Eventually the rest of the pack arrived
and SnatchSquatch led a decent circle. Then all was good as all stood
around drinking and telling tall tales and other bull schitte. .
X
Sat,
Sep 11, 2021, The Big Dog Hash. Its Too Soft laid trail for 9 trail
hounds. And we were off to the south and a check at Wrightwood and
Sheffield. I ran west with Saving Myself For Two Black Guys and into the
park. He saw some of the pack heading south on Sheffield and headed
that way. I spotted an arrow in the park and it had to be checked out. I
yelled to him but he was gone. I found a third mark and yelled On but
there was no one anywhere around. So I headed west and saw someone
walking way ahead. Looked like Lifa, but walking? It was him and at
Racine he turned and indicated a Split and he went south. When I got
there I headed north and never saw a hasher again on trail. WTF. Yeah,
I'm in front and I managed to guess a few Splits correctly and still no
one following. I finally got to a Check at Lincoln and Diversey. This I
guessed wrong heading up Lincoln but couldn't find a 3rd mark. So I
ranged over to Racine and there was a mark and I'm on and still no one
behind me. WTF. After a quick false on a Split I hit the T and E Split
with E going into a street fair where four hounds later detoured. But I
run on and after another Triple Split, picking wrong, I get back to a
Check at Racine and Belmont. Again I pick wrong, but no one coming up
behind me. West is On and then north on Southport and after an alley I'm
back at Racine again. Another wrong way on a Triple Split but I'm soon
back on Racine heading north. From here I work my way through some
construction and then west to Newport. At Seminary there is a mark
crossing the street. Okay. Then a mark crossing Seminary heading east.
Okay. But later on we determined that I must have missed the turn north
right after I crossed the street. This led to more trail around Wrigley.
Meanwhile I get to Clark and no marks. So I range south one block and
there is a mark. How It got there I didn't know, but I'm On. Actually
that was the return mark from the loop around Wrigley. In my defense,
Castration Sensation also noted that not all marks were where you would
look for them. So, anyway, I'm On. Now trail heads south and back and
forth over Sheffield as it goes south. And right into the marks from his
trail from last week. Hmmm. Glad I was on that one and knew the
difference. And I finally come on in to this little playlot and the hare
and beer. FRB. WTF. We finally headed to the EL tracks and waited
there. Steps In Shit and Just Do Me Slowly finally came in. They short
cut the loop around wrigley and just stayed on Addison and then back on
trail. Then the true FRB that ran the whole trail came in, Cockholm
Syndrome. Eventually some of the rest and we finally headed to the roof
deck. We were all set for a nice circle when the roof deck was invaded
by so damn many house puppies that they outnumbered the trail hounds and
I never got called out to lead the Big Dog Style Circle. WTF. Then Its
Too Soft provided some good grub that us runners really could use. And
all was good and many hung around well into the dark.
x.
Swing Low and On On
Horn-E