Chicago Full Moon Hash

HHHi HHHashers:

See my calendar at www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/hashcal and my web site at HHHinChicago.com
Visitors and new hashers (virgins), we start meeting at the listed times and start hashing a half hour later. Time for a quick beer. Anyone want off this list, email Horn-E at H3HornEH3 and it will be done.

I can't be held responsible for last minute changes. If you see something you might like to do, always verify at their web site for last minute changes or confirm with the hare

Thu, Jan 23, 2020, 7:00pm, The Thirstday Hash. Silent But Deadly will set trail from Parrot's at Wellington and Halsted. The usual cheap beer in a bar that is friendly towards us. The best reason to call in sick on Fridays. Hash Cash $10. ThirstdayH3.com

Fri Jan 24, 2020, 7:00pm, The First Crack of the Moon Hash, Meat Inside Her will set her annual Lunar New Year hash from Wise Owl Drinkery at 324 S. Racine. This will be an A to B hash. At the finish will be Korean food and who knows what else. She has requested that we RSVP so there will be enough grub. In other words, if you RSVP you will get to the head of the line. If not and food runs out, you were warned. ;=) Bringing Asian snacks to share is appreciated. There will be a shag wagon and if you are driving, let Meat Inside Her know. $8 Hash Cash.

Sun Jan 26, 2020, 2:00pm. The Chicago Hash. Lifa and Stab 'em and Slab 'em and Reverend Shut The Fuck Up will hare the annual snow hash and there might still be some left. Or maybe all ice by then. Location is 6530 S. University. Another hash with grub, and it is more good grub and maybe some home brew. Contributions accepted and appreciated. $10 Hash Cash. ChicagoHash.com

Sat. Feb 15, 2020, 2:00pm, A Bushman Hash Upcoming madness, the winter camp out Hash. Hopefully Berts Special Friend & Son Of Spam will help me set the trail. Apparently last year they had a hell of a trail. If you don't know, I rented a bunkhouse in a Forest Preserve and we have it from 3:00pm on Sat until noon on Sunday. There are 36 beds, or 18 bunk beds. Two rooms, two bathroom with warm showers, a full kitchen and a large party room. Cost, $10 plus everyone helps with food and beer etc. Zone 2 will help coordinate that again. I want to bring a huge pot of chili. So far we have Horn-E, Grateful Dick, Son Of Spam, The Cock Whisperer, Rusty Grundel, False Advertising, Berts Special Friend, Meat Inside Her, Cums On All Bases & Garmin. That is only 10. The last several years we had about 20. The place sleeps 36. Surely there are more who want to come to this hash. Last year and every year were spectacular times for all who attended, about 20.. See Horn-E and sign up so we can get to planning. Remember, no matter how bad the weather or how drunk you get, you don't have to go back out in the cold to go home. You are home for the night. Eat, drink, play games, sing songs, walk around in your P. J.s, sleep and start over with a wake up hash in the morning before breakfast. Register soon with Horn-E, for $10. This event is pot luck. Beer, food, essentials, etc.

Tale of the Trail
Thu, Jan 16, 2020, The Thirstday Hash. Little Trojan Annie and Cookie Finder braved the cold to set trail from Dannys Tap Room (RIP). We circled at the dumpaters and apparently that is where Danny's went. We had six hounds on trail and headed off down a series of alleys. She took the baby through that shit? Anyway, I fell behind and missed a turn towards Milwaukee. When I finally got there I saw a big bright arrow pointing southeast on Milwaukee. Trail went northwest. Duh. WTF. Happened again. So I ran southeast all the way to Western and no marks. There weren't any. It was now to late for this old gray hound to turn back and hopefully find the trail and ever hope to catch up. One bad mark is worse then no marks at all. So I assumed that the trail might have gone SE on the other side of Milwaukee and suddenlty crossed the street and I missed the turn because I followed an arrow to the south side of the street. So, maybe the trail was circleing south and east so I headed east and eventually south to the expected finish at the hare's house. NO marks. It was quite some time before the pack finally came on in. There we held a circle led by One Fuck Chuck who didn't run and just hung around with W Jew 40 and the hares. Who ran on trail? J Gus, Its Too Soft, SnatchSquatch, Cock Whisperer and J. David.

Sat, Jan 18, 2020, 2:00pm, The Bushman Hash, Horn-E set trail from Cumberland and Irving Park. A cold blast was expected along with snow, slush maybe a little rain and rapidly falling temperatures. How to mark the trail is again a question. I came with white flour and red flour. Good thing. Yes, I did use white flour in the snow, again. It worked as I used it on dark tree trunks and could be spotted for quite a distance. When there were no convenient trees, there were red arrows in the white snow. Hey, it works. We had a pack of five hounds. Trail went across Irving Park near the stream. Then straight across the model airplane field. We all faced at least 30 mph winds howling across that open field. But after that the weather was quite mild. At least while I set it. A Split around the hill and then into slushy path. So I headed trail into the woods. Dry. We finally had a Check at the bridge with a False to the west and another False to the east. Real trail went down a wide path and then into woods. We came out at a path and a Check with several paths to choose from. Berts Special Friend made the hare happy by finding his long False. But they ran on trail towards the golf course. Here I planned to go along the wide path paralleling the fence for the golf course. But the path was seriously under a deep level of slush, edge to edge. So, I paralleled the path but in the deep woods, dodging occasional slush puddles and fallen trees. Eventually I came back to the path and it was all snow. Well, that lasted about a hundred yards. More slush, edge to edge. So this time I went to the south of the path along the fence. Bad move. Almost impossible fallen trees until I came to a wall of fallen trees. Like a micro blast wiped out a huge section. So I had to circle back between barbed wire fence and a river of slush. Right back where I started. So, now I had to go north again. But this time it is into a thicket of skinny trees and low spots with slush everywhere. Like going through a swamp full of quick sand. I dodged and back tracked and fought my way through until I finally came to a path. Yep, all slush again. I paralleled until I managed to go around some more fallen trees and found a section of path I recognized. Not where I was heading, but actually better. From here the trail wasn't to bad until the trail came through some prairie grasses and to Beer. I called False Advertising for looking like a Gloucester fishermen with his knee high rubber boots. And I was called out for the same thing for the yellow rain gear. Unfortunately when I got home and got a good look at my rain gear, it looked like a got attacked by a shark. One for the garbage. Also on trail were Meat Inside Her, Son Of Spam and Chicken Stifer. After a short, cold and windy circle, even in the trees, we headed to Draft and for once everyone came. A quick warm up beer and we all headed home.

Sun Jan 19, 2020, The Chicago Hash. Ice Princes and Brother Incisor hared from Burwood. This time we had only eight hounds, but at least one bimbo, Sandy Syphillis on trail. They said we would all fall on trail but we actually managed to navigate the rough ragged ice pretty well. It was the marks that caused trouble. First, they forgot to explain that Checks need three marks and of course out new Transplant, R Kelly, called on after one before I was able to let him know. Eventually the pack divided into two. Sandy Syphillis, Stryoporn. (I probably got that spelling wrong) Double Meter Beater, Garmin and J. Christian in the lead and Horn-E, Lower Wackoff and R Kelly pulling up the rear. We also had trouble on two Splits. Marked correctly by the front pack, but the correct arrow didn't point to another arrow causing us a bit of back and forth. After that it was okay and there was a Hot Chocolate stop and eventually a, ooops, where did the beer stop go, crossed out and SSN listed. And then we missed the turn arrow and the stop. The highlight, make that low light of the circle was Ice Princess in a bright tye dye onesie in the circle. Now that is scary.

On On

Horn-E

HHHi HHHashers:

See my calendar at www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/hashcal and my web site at HHHinChicago.com
Visitors and new hashers (virgins), we start meeting at the listed times and start hashing a half hour later. Time for a quick beer. Anyone want off this list, email Horn-E at H3HornEH3 and it will be done.

I can't be held responsible for last minute changes. If you see something you might like to do, always verify at their web site for last minute changes or confirm with the hare

Thu, Jan 16, 2020, 7:00pm, The Thirstday Hash. Little Trojan Annie will set trail from Dannys Tap Room (RIP), Yes, they are closed. Even the Hash can't keep some dive bars open. The location is 2218 N. Western and will be A to B. The Thirstday Hash has had some real low attendance of late. Most hashes have. But it is a New Year and we seem to be having a resurgence. Lets help TH3 get back on track. They used to be the highest attended hash in Chicago for regular hashes. Remember there motto, "The best reason to call in sick on Friday." Hash Cash $10. ThirstdayH3.com

Sat, Jan 18, 2020, 2:00pm, The Bushman Hash, Horn-E will set trail from the NW corner of Cumberland and Irving Park at the bus shelter. This is the end of the Irving Park bus line. For those of you that were at the 8 Beer Stop Hash last week and enjoyed it, you can almost do it again. The bad news is, it might snow more, it might have more snow over shiggy and standing water, their will only be one old fart hare, there will be no beer stops. The good news is that the finish B should be under trees as if that will help, the beer might be snow cold, and we will finish at a bar within walking distance as soon as we get to damn cold. If anyone finds the hare face down on trail, he will get a pint of his choice and the right to spread his ashes were he fell. HaHaHaHa Ha Ha Ha Ha. Hey, is anyone laughing? Ladies, this is a men's hash, but Harriets are welcome if they prove they have the balls to hash with us. If not, Horn-E will provide a pair of golf balls for them to wear there. We accept appropriate creativity. And for their playing our game, we will give them a special Bandanna that lets them hash with us in the future. $5 Hash Cash HHHinChicago.com

Sun Jan 19, 2020, 2:00pm. The Chicago Hash. Ice Princes and Brother Incisor will hare from Burwood at Wrightwood and Burling, one block east of Halsted and between Fullerton and Diversey. We already have one Harriet signed up. Oh, she's a hare. Will their be others or is the Chicago Hash going all wankers? $10 Hash Cash. ChicagoHash.com

Sat. Feb 15, 2020, 2:00pm, A Bushman Hash Upcoming madness, the winter camp out Hash. Hopefully Berts Special Friend and Son Of Spam will help me set the trail. Apparently last year they had a hell of a trail. If you don't know, I rented a bunkhouse in a Forest Preserve and we have it from 3:00pm on Sat until noon on Sunday. There are 36 beds, or 18 bunk beds. Two rooms, two bathroom with warm showers, a full kitchen and a large party room. Cost, $10 plus everyone helps with food and beer etc. Maybe Zone 2 will help coordinate that again. I want to bring a huge pot of chili. So far we have Horn-E, Grateful Dick, Son Of Spam, The Cock Whisperer, Rusty Grundel, False Advertising, Berts Special Friend, Meat Inside Her, Cums On All Bases. Add Garmin to the list. Remember, no matter how bad the weather or how drunk you get, you don't have to go back out in the cold to go home. You are home for the night. Eat, drink, play games, sing songs, walk around in your P. J.s, sleep and start over with a wake up hash in the morning before breakfast. Register soon with Horn-E, for $10. This event is pot luck. Beer, food, essentials, etc.

Tale of the Trail
Fri, Jan 8, 2020, The Chicago Full Moon Hash, 23 Anal Winter Classic. Lower Wackoff again hared this longest running event in Chicago from the Gladstone Lounge. Shitty weather is the norm and Lower Wackoff didn't disappoint, yet again. For the first time he laid a live trail due to his late start, due to locking his keys in his car. Sucks when that happens. We finally got started with five hounds, SnatchSquatch, Menage A Twat, Its Too Soft, Lifa and Horn-E. It took 5 to 10 minutes to find the first mark and by then we were joined by Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her. Marks were far apart and Checks and Splits gave us fits throughout the trail. I was well behind due to ranging at a Check, by the time trail went into the woods. Flour on trees and mud made real slippery due to the light mist falling. But I managed to get through the woods and emerged near Central. Here is some prairie and the prairie grasses grow in clumps. If you manage to step on a clump, you're dry. If not, it is 3 to 6 inches of water. Yeah, my feet were soon wet. On Central I couldn't find any marks. But the pack did and they were off to the east on Indian Road. They found a Check and SnatchSquatch headed further east. Baaaaad move. I think this is where Manage A Twat headed back to the bar. Good move. She probably stayed dry. The rest of the pack headed back west in the bike path. Meanwhile the horned one crossed Central and headed into the parking lot area. He saw some people coming his way on the bike path and waited. Flashlights were coming along and then slowing down and regrouping. They saw this hairy, scary, old, troll waiting for them. They finally came closer to only find Horn-E. From here we crossed the road and there was a BN pointing us under the local pedestrian bridge and there was the hare and Bingo and beer. About 10 minutes later SnatchSquatch finally got there, soaking wet. The rains turned on full blast. After a quick circle we left in that damn rain and back to the bar where there were three groupies waiting for us. Another circle and pizza and it was off home, in the rain of course. My new cell phone told me I would have a 22 minute wait in the damn rain and high winds at Clark and Lawrence. And damn it, it was right. Damn phone.

Sat, Jan 9, 2020, The Big Dog Hash, 8 Beer Stop Hash, Horn-E and Berts Special Friend set this trail from the usual Catherine Chevalier Woods. While planning marks, I counted on the weather reports which had snow coming in late afternoon. Snow in the woods arrived before noon. We had white flour. Ooops. And once in the woods, it is to late to change things. I've had this happen twice before and had to make it work. So we did. The early part of the trail would be wide paths through the woods with large sticks in an 'X' as checks and flour on paths. Those were mostly snow clear as the snow melted there. But deep in the woods there was a light layer of snow over everything, especially the leaves and ground clutter. And muddy areas. If there was no snow, there was water. And trail often went through it. I finally hit some damn deep water and both feet were soaked. We made it three marks on a tree was a beer stop/check. Find the hidden beer. One mark was On. And it worked. We made the marks on the south side of the trees and most of that trail headed north so the marks could be seen. The north side of the trees was all snow. And there they were, standing in water and shiggy and drinking beer in one stop after another. Finally we ran in to the finish. Circle would be held in the local shelter. I had a gallon of Hofbrau Winterfest beer and we had some Miller beer and we had one rowdy circle in the woods with wet feet and all. Then we headed to the bar I selected, Earnie's Tap on Higgins and almost everyone made it. Four headed home for various reasons, snow, etc. We had about eight or nine pitchers of PBR ad a couple of pizzas and a lot of good camaraderie and tall tales. Thanks for another successful 8 Beer Stop Hash

Sun Jan 12, 2020, The Chicago Hash. Pony Pounder hared out of The Four Treys. Haven't been there in a while. There were 14 hounds on trail and most were faster and a hell of a lot faster then me. We worked our way over to Western and Belmont and on west. I watched as the pack slowly pulled away and up the bridge. Then they made a right turn to head north along the river. So I cut an angle to the northwest to get a little shortcut. But they were already out of sight. But I did predict right and found marks heading north. We were heading towards that new bike trail along the river. Good, I never saw that before. Last time we went that way I went right at Addison and missed the trail. So this time as I head down towards the river I see a few hashers crossing the river on the north side of the bridge. Must be some steps or whatever up to that point. Noooo. Big mistake. No steps or path. Just heading north to near Irving Park. So I guessed that the hare would run the pack around and head north to Irving Park. South was to far. Nooo. He fucked me again. Trail did go south towards Elston and Diversey and such. Meanwhile, at Irving Park I found no marks. Right Donnie, there wasn't any. From here it was just a zig zag back to the bar and I got there about 20 feet ahead of the pack. And they were one beer stop ahead of me. Inside Hooch B4 Cooch started the circle and we met a new virgin, J. Nick. Welcome. We finally ended the circle with our usual Swing Low and Gay Men bits. And the Gay Men bit took on new meanings as you looked around. This was the largest sausage fest hash I've seen in Chicago in 35 years. Fifteen men. Next week should be better. At least the hare is a woman. Ladies, we love you. Come on out. It isn't that cold or nasty. Some ladies even came to the 8 Beer Stop in deep shiggy.

On On

Horn-E

HHHi HHHashers:

See my calendar at www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/hashcal and my web site at HHHinChicago.com
Visitors and new hashers (virgins), we start meeting at the listed times and start hashing a half hour later. Time for a quick beer. Anyone want off this list, email Horn-E at H3HornEH3 and it will be done.

I can't be held responsible for last minute changes. If you see something you might like to do, always verify at their web site for last minute changes or confirm with the hare

Fri, Jan 8, 2020, 7:00p, The Chicago Full Moon Hash. Lower Wackoff will again hare his winter Moon Hash classic out of the Gladstone Lounge at 5734 N. Milwaukee. Expect to find Bingo guarding the beer at a beer stop in the woods somewhere. Probably good pizza after. This is the longest continuous running event in Chicago. $8 Hash Cash

Sat, Jan 9, 2020, 1:00pm, The Big Dog Hash, Horn-E and a mystery Co-hare will be haring another long running event in Chicago. This one is the Annual 8 Beer Stop Hash, often the most fun regular hash in Chicago year after year. The location is Catherine Chevalier Woods at East River Road and Bryn Mawr. CTA, take the Blue Line to Cumberland. Head south from the station through the rotunda and down the stairs. Continue south through the covered garage to the street (Bryn Mawr) and head right (west) to the end at East River Road. By Car - I-90 (Kennedy) to Cumberland Ave. south. Make a hairpin turn to the right at the first signal (Bryn Mawr). Continue along Bryn Mawr until it ends at East River Rd. Take a left and then a quick right to enter the forest preserve. After running some great trail in the woods where hashing was meant to be, you will come to a B. There will be one beer there. Who ever finds it first gets to drink it and the B is a Check. Everyone hashes on. Some distance later there will be a second B. You guessed it. Two beers. And two lucky hounds will drink beer while the rest of the pack Checks and hashes on. And so forth through 8 beer stops. Some good beer some regular beer and some shit beer. First come first pick. At the finish we will meet in the woods somewhere for a quick Big Dog style circle near your cars. Then we will head east to Ernie's Tap at 7112 W Higgins, just south of I 90 and the Higgins Blue Line stop. Just east of Harlem on the north side of Higgins. Decent priced PBR pitchers, etc. Hash Cash $6, bigdogh3.synthasite.com

Sun Jan 12, 2020, 2:00pm. The Chicago Hash. Pony Pounder will be haring out of The Four Treys. We haven't been there for a while. Nice bar. But, it is only about four blocks from Thursday's trail. Pray for rain or coordination between the hares so we don't run the TH3 trail twice. Pony Pounder will figure it out. $10 Hash Cash. ChicagoHash.com

Sat. Feb 15, 2020, 2:00pm, A Bushman Hash Upcoming madness, the winter camp out Hash. Hopefully Berts Special Friend and Son Of Spam will help me set the trail. Apparently last year they had a hell of a trail. If you don't know, I rented a bunkhouse in a Forest Preserve and we have it from 3:00pm on Sat until noon on Sunday. There are 36 beds, or 18 bunk beds. Two rooms, two bathroom with warm showers, a full kitchen and a large party room. Cost, $10 plus everyone helps with food and beer etc. Maybe Zone 2 will help coordinate that again. I want to bring a huge pot of chili. So far we have Horn-E, Grateful Dick, Son Of Spam, The Cock Whisperer, Rusty Grundel, False Advertising, Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her. Add Cums On All Bases to the list. Remember, no matter how bad the weather or how drunk you get, you don't have to go back out in the cold to go home. You are home for the night. Eat, drink, play games, sing songs, walk around in your P. J.s, sleep and start over with a wake up hash in the morning before breakfast. Register soon with Horn-E

Tale of the Trail
Tue, Jan 7, 2020, The 4X2H4 Hash set by False Advertising from Ceres Bar. I counted on my new cell phone for information and somehhow something went wrong and I was 25 minutes late. But just after I got off the bus, there was trail. I followed and it was mostly swept and a readonable trail. The few time things weren't swept, my choices always worked and I found the pack in a small park doing circle. It finished shortly and we went to Stocks and Blondes for an On After. There were 13 hounds on trail. Is 4X2 becoming the new 'go to' monthly hash. Good numbers two runs in a row.

Thu, Jan 9, 2020, 7:00pm, The Thirstday Hash. SnatchSquatch and Half Faq, laid trail from Miskas. Are the number going back up. We had 5 hounds on trail. The trail was swept by Half Fag and it was a very tight loop and a lot of back and forth before we finally got to B1. And there was Gay Dancer and I Eat Dick waiting. They got off trail early on. Most of the trail was just Its Too Soft, Horn-E and Hooch B4 Cooch working the trail together. Horn-E left B1 early and the pack soon caught him just after Belmont. But crossing Western after a Triple Split had Hooch B4 Cooch and I Eat Dick running west, missing trail and picking it up again on Clybourn at a Check. They came in first and there was no beer yet. Menawhiie the other three managed to fins the correct trail and worked our way in following Horn-E after that last Check.

On On

Horn-E

HHHi HHHashers:

See my calendar at www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/hashcal and my web site at HHHinChicago.com
Visitors and new hashers (virgins), we start meeting at the listed times and start hashing a half hour later. Time for a quick beer. Anyone want off this list, email Horn-E at H3HornEH3 and it will be done.

I can't be held responsible for last minute changes. If you see something you might like to do, always verify at their web site for last minute changes or confirm with the hare

Tue, Jan 7, 2020, 6:30 pm, out at 7:00 pm sharp, The 4X2H4 Hash. (Can we rename this. Maybe something like the First Tuesday Hash. False Advertising will be setting trail from Ceres at 141 W. Jackson. Look inside the Board Of Trade. There may be police in the area, but one thing is sure, the Chief of Police won't be there. That is one Johnson who had his johnson handed to him.

Thu, Jan 9, 2020, 7:00pm, The Thirstday Hash. SnatchSquatch and the visiting Half Faq, formerly known as the Hasher of a Thousand Names will lay trail at Miskas. The last three TH3 hashes I attended had a total of only 10 hounds on trail. After Sundays CH3 Hash of 22 hounds, please tell me that the drought is over and we can get back to more normal and decent numbers. Show up. It will be above normal temps yet again. $10 Hash Cash. ThirstdayH3.com

Fri, Jan 8, 2020, 7:00p, The Chicago Full Moon Hash. Lower Wackoff will again hare his winter Moon Hash classic out of the Gladstone Lounge at 5734 N. Milwaukee. Expect to find Bingo guarding the beer at a beer stop in the woods somewhere. Probably good pizza after. This is the longest continuous running event in Chicago. $8 Hash Cash

Sat, Jan 9, 2020, 1:00pm, The Big Dog Hash, Horn-E and Lifa will be haring another long running event in Chicago. This one is the Annual 8 Beer Stop Hash, often the most fun regular hash in Chicago year after year. The location is Catherine Chevalier Woods at East River Road and Bryn Mawr. CTA, take the Blue Line to Cumberland. Head south from the station through the rotunda and down the stairs. Continue south through the covered garage to the street (Bryn Mawr) and head right (west) to the end at East River Road. By Car - I-90 (Kennedy) to Cumberland Ave. south. Make a hairpin turn to the right at the first signal (Bryn Mawr). Continue along Bryn Mawr until it ends at East River Rd. Take a left and then a quick right to enter the forest preserve. After running some great trail in the woods where hashing was meant to be, you will come to a B. There will be one beer there. Who ever finds it first gets to drink it and the B is a Check. Everyone hashes on. Some distance later there will be a second B. You guessed it. Two beers. And two lucky hounds will drink beer while the rest of the pack Checks and hashes on. And so forth through 8 beer stops. Some good beer some regular beer and some shit beer. First come first pick. At the finish we will meet in the woods somewhere for a quick Big Dog style circle near your cars. Then we will head east to Ernie's Tap at 7112 W Higgins, just south of I 90 and the Higgins Blue Line stop. Just east of Harlem on the north side of Higgins. Decent priced PBR pitchers, etc. Hash Cash $6, bigdogh3.synthasite.com

Sun Jan 12, 2020, 2:00pm. The Chicago Hash. Pony Pounder will be haring out of The Four Treys. We haven't been there for a while. Nice bar. But, it is only about four blocks from Thursday's trail. Pray for rain or coordination between the hares so we don't run the TH3 trail twice. Pony Pounder will figure it out. $10 Hash Cash. ChicagoHash.com

Sat. Feb 15, 2020, 2:00pm, A Bushman Hash Upcoming madness, the winter camp out Hash. Hopefully Berts Special Friend and Son Of Spam will help me set the trail. Apparently last year they had a hell of a trail. If you don't know, I rented a bunkhouse in a Forest Preserve and we have it from 3:00pm on Sat until noon on Sunday. There are 36 beds, or 18 bunk beds. Two rooms, two bathroom with warm showers, a full kitchen and a large party room. Cost, $10 plus everyone helps with food and beer etc. Maybe Zone 2 will help coordinate that again. I want to bring a huge pot of chili. So far we have Horn-E, Grateful Dick, Son Of Spam, The Cock Whisperer, and Rusty Grundel. Add False Advertising, Berts Special Friend and Meat Inside Her to the list. Remember, no matter how bad the weather or how drunk you get, you don't have to go back out in the cold to go home. You are home for the night. Eat, drink, play games, sing songs, walk around in your P. J.s, sleep and start over with a wake up hash in the morning before breakfast. Register soon with Horn-E

Tale of the Trail
Thu, Jan 2, 2020, The Thirstday Hash. Sanding Ovation hared from the Barrel for the second time. Last time it rained the whole trail and no one really found the whole thing, but a nice turnout that far south in heavy rain. This time we had nice weather and there was a great pack of damn good hounds. But the finishing order was all to predictable. You knew from the start that False Advertising would be FRB. And Horn-E would probably show up DFL again. That left the middle of the pack for everyone else. That's you SnatchSquatch. Yeah, only three hounds at the start. We took off to the west and followed False Advertising. But at the first Check, that old man took the lead. Yeah, like that would last. One Split and he was behind again. But it went from one to the other throughout the trail as short well placed and bright marks were everywhere. We finally got to her back yard for a beer stop/circle. Why outside? It is cold. After a few Down Downs we got to DFL and before the song finished The King Of Bedbugs arrived. He got to The Barrel late and ran on his own and since we didn't expect anyone else and had no chalk, we didn't mark most of the Splits and Checks. But damn it, he found us anyway. A few more DDs and I was cold and needed to pee and so after only two beers, everyone just went home. Huh. Why not go back to the bar, where it is warm, and have another beer or two. Really, the bar has a nice back room that looks great for a short circle.

Sun Jan 5, 2020, The Chicago Hash. This was another renewal of the Justs Hash with a new Just, Just Oriole. The other hares were Berts Special Friend, Son Of Spam and Crotch Fire. We ran out of the Drum and Monkey. What a surprise. The largest regular hash in months. There were 22 hounds on trail. We even had 3 groupies show up at the On In. Did my rant last week help. Probably not. But a nice day for a hash anyway. We did a loop, so what else is new, that took us to Ashland, then through empty fields south of Roosevelt, (I remember when that area was all homes and such. Then there was this shooting in Memphis and all hell broke loose and it looked like the second coming of WWII or the Chicago Fire. I was there that terrible night and have about 80, 35 mm slides to prove it. Burning buildings all around us. But that is another story.), and over towards the U of I for a tour of the campus and back to the usual two block park for a beer stop. Mainly we held together pretty well. Of course, this was a Just Justs Hash so there were several shot stops where we regrouped. Back at the bar we circled around the usual shuffle board were Hooch B4 Cooch played at being a Religious Advisor. Then we had a naming for Just Oriol. His new name will be forever more, Double Meter Beater. After we hung around and slowly, well not to slowly, drank up all of the beer money. But Horn-E managed to sell a sweat shirt for beer money to our visitor, Mums The Word, for $20 and that bought us two more pitchers.

On On
Horn-E

HHHi HHHashers:

See my calendar at www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/hashcal and my web site at HHHinChicago.com
Visitors and new hashers (virgins), we start meeting at the listed times and start hashing a half hour later. Time for a quick beer. Anyone want off this list, email Horn-E at H3HornEH3 and it will be done.

I can't be held responsible for last minute changes. If you see something you might like to do, always verify at their web site for last minute changes or confirm with the hare

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all, and remember, there are many who won't be off visiting family and friends during these holidays. Well, many of our friends are hashers and this Wednesday, Christmas Day, Soul Taco and Hooch B4 Cooch are hosting the Whiskey Wednesday Hash, on it's regular date and offering those hashers and maybe some visitors, a chance for a refreshing run in warmer then normal weather and a chance to gather with friends. Join them.

Any visitors in town for the holidays and want to get out for a good run and some beer, check our schedule and come on out. We'd like to meet you.

Wed. 25 Dec 2019, 7:00pm, The Whiskey Wednesday Hash. Hooch B4 Cooch and Soul Taco will hare from 1353 N. Noble. This is Christmas Day and if there are any hashers not off visiting family, cum on over and enjoy a Christmas Hash instead and visit with your hash family. $? Hash cash.

Thu, Dec 26, 2019, 7:00pm, The Thirstday Hash. Two Girls One Cupcake will hare from Twisted Hippo at 2925 W. Montrose, $10 Hash Cash. ThirstdayH3.com

Fri. 27 Dec 2019, 7:00pm The First Crack of the Moon Hash. Pony Pounder is haring from Redmonds in Wrigleyville at 3358 N. Sheffield. $8 Hash Cash
Sun Dec 29, 2019, 2:00pm. The Chicago Hash. Just Christian is listed as a hare, but no location. We may have visitors in town over the holidays and they would like a timely notice on where this hash might be. As would the rest of us. Please get your locations to the Hare Raisers in a timely fashion so they may do their part to increase attendance by letting hashers plan their schedules. $10 Hash Cash. ChicagoHash.com

Tale of the Trail

There were four hashes last week. Didn't make two because of a damn cell phone and missed CTA bus, and dual scheduling on the same day. That always sucks and hurts attendance, maybe, probably at both hashes. As I've said like forever, we need to avoid these things to maximize attendance all around.

On Sat 21 Dec. 2019 there was a Bushman Hash set by Horn-E from Edgebrook Woods. We had an attendance of Seven Hounds. With the beautiful weather it could have been more, but for the scheduling of another hash on the same date. Trail headed straight for the tracks and a Check. but Lifa was right on the trail and we went south and into the lowlands along the river. After another Check the trail went over the foot bridge and then headed towards a Central crossing. Could have been a great Back Check here, but Lifa saw around it and the pack was soon headed east along the river. Several hounds looked far and wide to find a short cut and missed this part. We get too few chances for a good woods trail, why try to short cut around the hares planned trail. It was planned to give you a good run in nature. Enjoy it with the few checks and such designed to try to keep the pack together. So as I watched from across the river, the pack came by one at a time instead of close together. And then they drifted out of sight in the woods. About a half hour later Lifa led the pack into the finish, unmuddy but thirsty. We held circle right near were the beer was found, guarded by a dead, smelly raccoon. And here we pounded the perma frost until our shoes were good and muddy and we ran out of beer.
Then it was off to Lower Wackoff's were we held our anal Bushman Christmas Party with some good Korean food and snacks and Whores de Ovaries. Good beer was also available and we were joined by a trio of Harriets who didn't run and all was good.

Sun, 22 Dec 2019, was a trail set by Its Too Soft and Soul Taco for the Chicago Hash out of the Hidden Shamrock. This was supposed to be a repeat of his original Santa Hat trail that led to the big Anthrax Scare. He was extremely hung over and late when he laid the original one and because it was getting dark, he laid it with huge amounts of flour. Ooops. Through the zoo. Ooops. I was on that trail and got lost like almost everyone. I got lost again. Three times this time. Either he hasn't gotten any better laying trail or I got worse following trail. Definitely slower. Then throw in the fact that there was another trail zig zagging through his planned course, using beautiful white marks, he had to use colored chalk. Blue still doesn't work in the daytime.
At the first check I followed Pony Pounder into an alley and saw marks. Ooops, they were white marks. Damn. And as soon as I realized that I emerged from the alley and there were colored marks. Great. Then at Broadway I saw what I thought was a hasher with a dog up ahead. A long block later there were no marks. So I ranged south looking for marks and finally gave up and headed for the park. This was supposed to be a replay of the first trail. At Diversey and Sheridan I found a Check. Whoppee, I'm back on trail. Finally. I searched several False trails and found many white arrows yet again. I finally ran into Dirty White Idiot from Boise leading the pack to the Check. Told him and others what I already checked and ran back to check another direction. I ended up following Kahl Drunko the Turd straight East and he yelled On. But it turned out to be another white mark, a check. Damn. So I spread out my search and headed in a big loop south, around the hill and by the Lagoon. More white marks and suddenly there is some runners from the pack yelling On to the south. How did they get there? I searched that area. But we were soon at a shot stop and there was the whole pack. How did they get there? From here it went south towards the Zoo and crisis central. I got caught by traffic and after that I lost the pack and saw no marks into or in the zoo. I finally headed east and at Lincoln I found a very faded pink arrow. I'm back on trail and Gay Dancer flies right by me. and a few other hashers. What? We ran on to Sheffield and an eventual beer stop in a park at Wrightwood and there was most of the pack. Again, how'd they get there? After that stop it was over to Its Too Soft's roof deck for a very frigid circle I wasn't dressed for. Weren't we supposed to be re-running the original Santa Hat Trail. Indoor circle. Thankfully False Advertising didn't make this an hours long circle and we were finally warm and inside. Its Too Soft did his usual good job of hardy grub, Ham, Cheese Mac and corn. Beer flowed and all was good.

On On
Horn-E