HHHi HHHashers:
See my calendar at www.brownbearsw.com/freecal/hashcal and my web site at HHHinChicago.com
Visitors and new hashers (virgins), we start meeting at the listed times and start hashing a half hour later. Time for a quick beer. Anyone want off this list, email Horn-E at H3HornEH3 and it will be done. 

Urban hashing in Chicago is returning with an abbreviated schedule and some differing conditions. Will advise as best as I know or check their web sites. Some of these upcoming hashes will still call for a later virtual circle. Others might have a live circle depending on space and attendance and the ability to pull it off while keeping the concerns of many for UnSocialable distancing, etc. Things keep changing and I am just getting out the best info I have at the moment. While all of the other active hashes are starting at normal local hash start times of 30 minutes after the posted time, Chicago Hash isn't going along and their start time is constantly different. Posted as 2:00pm, normal out time would be 2:30pm. But if you arrive at 2pm, you will possibly have to stand around for 30 minutes. If you arrive at 2:25, the pack might be long gone, leaving you with a 5 mile run instead of a hash. Again, I would like to suggest that that Chicago Hash stick with a normal start time, and be consistent, so those that arrive at normal start time can hash with the other hounds.

Welcome back Thirstday H3
Thu. Aug 6, 2020 7:00pm The Thirstday Hash.
Berts Special Friend is haring from Dvorak Park at Cullerton and Carpennter. $5 Hash cash or BYOB ThirstdayH3.com

Sun Aug 9, 2020, Somewhere between 2:00 and 2:30PM, maybe, The Chicago Hash. Silent But Deadly will hare from 937 W. under the  Wrightwood under the El tracks $5 Hash Cash or BYOB ChicagoHash.com

On On
Horn-E

Sat Aug. 1, 2020, The Big Dog Hash, Stab 'em & Slab 'em & Reverend Shut The Fuck Up hared from 6530 S. University. We started out, late as normal and from the alley heading south. About 20 hounds but a large section of walkers. This is about those that ran. At least what I saw. We headed east past a few blips and finally under the Metra tracks. I was running second behind False Advertising and we headed north. Then he headed east into an alley. Great, we're heading towards the park. Not. I was running parallel and after a block he had no marks. So he went a half block north and looked like he headed east again. So I did. Last I saw of the pack or him for a while. No one showed up at Stoney Island. So I headed north and nothing, no arrows, block after block. I finally headed back west looking for the pack at the south side of the Midway Plaisance. About three or four blocks later I find an arrow heading north so I'm back on trail, behind as usual. I cross the Midway Plaisance and the trail headed east. And back to Stoney Island. If I stayed on Stoney Island I would have been FRB. But now I am ahead of damn few, but Stuffin Muffin. We head into the park and met up with others and finally headed into the island by the Chinese Garden. But no Beer Stop there this time. So we do get into a dirt path with many side trails and nice running through thick vegetation. We emerge at the far south end and a BN that was about a hundred yards west. Nice trail if I only made it all. Back at the back yard we settled into a very wide circle. It was so wide we had to mail Just Do Me Slowly her down downs. After that we had some good Brats burned to perfection by Reverend Shut The Fuck Up if you don't like them that way. Not really, they were good. And we settled into a laid back party shouting to each other as we were so far apart.

Sun Aug 2, 2020, The Chicago Hash. I Eat Dick & Gay Dancer hared from 4645 N. Magnolia in the back yard. I'd like to say how many hounds showed up, but that number would only be a guess. As I was walking to the start I bumped into Hooch B4 Cooch and he told we they took off at 2:10 and he was heading to a Check and maybe catch them. I had a chair and back pack with me. So I go on and there ended up being a few hounds who arrived counting on a normal 2:30 hash time, like last week. We finally took off at the NORMAL HASH START TIME. There were 6 of us. Stiffy 4 Stiffies took off and blew the rest of us away. That was easy because the trail was already swept by that first pack and so this would be mostly a run instead of a small hash. Should have been a decent sized hash of about 15. But we ran on and I fell behind. Suddenly I found myself just ahead of Just Parth and Steps In Shit. A block later and we had a Check at Montrose. Last I saw of them. Maybe with a larger pack I might have managed to stay with them and not miss the On call from Steps In Shit. So I circle and circle trying to solve that check. I finally did and it was just following marks and Splits and Checks already marked. Like a 5 mile trail. I'd have had as much fun staying home and running around the block 20 times. Definitely not hashing, just running a prescribed course. About the only thing different was running past the graffiti mob and their false propaganda and other B. S. I finally manage to run on into the finish and there is the whole pack, hanging around. Well, now at least I can finally have some fun conversation with friends. I poured myself a drink and about five minutes later a few sprinkles came and the whole hash disappeared. I haven't seen a disappearing act like that since the last time I watched a magician. Yeah, back in Vaudeville. There was nothing left to do except pack my bag back up, and leave. I Eat Dick and Gay Dancer, I'm sure that the trail was nice to run as a pack of fifteen if we were all able to start together like back in the old days of hashing. Alone it sucked. And then to have everyone leave so quick and suddenly, not your fault, but the worst hashing experience I've had since March. We really need to get back to one start time and sticking to it. The hash doesn't run as a pack, but solves trails as a pack and that is the fun of hashing.   

Mon Aug 3, 2020, The Chicago Full Moon Hash. Garmin hared from Clarendon Park at Clarenden and Agatite for a pack of 10 hounds. It would turn out to be a nice trail with almost everything in the parks. Only a bunch of experienced hounds could possibly screw this up. And that is what we had for a major fucked up start. Thanks Horn-E (Also the hare and some drizzle in the area causing a relaying of trail and no sweep). As Horn-E is arriving from a bus stop, he spots an arrow going south in the park. Hmmm. Looks like an On In mark. It was. So he crosses the street and sees another mark going north. Hmmm. Must be an On Out mark. It wasn't. Ooops. What happened is the hare laid a trail about a block in the park, like an On In and then crossed the street and went back north. A nice little loop to fuck over the FRB. Here is where the mistake was made. As he turned the trail across the street, Instead of a turning arrow pointing back north, he laid a straight arrow, like crossing a T. Then a block away to the south he had a Split on the On Out trail. The part of the Split, pointing north went to that straight arrow and looked like we were on. And since Horn-E had seen that arrows, when Meat Inside Her couldn't find a mark, it only made sense for Horn-E to yell out to her to keep going, he had seen a mark earlier. Another thing for hares to consider is never having On In trails near an On Out trail, especially near a check or split. So she soon was on trail and we get to a Triple Split, the last Split before the finish. Hounds wander. And we check north and east, but not south because that would take us back to the start. Instead of running around like a pack of hounds we were running around like a flock of chickens with out heads cut off. Well except Its Too Soft who guarded the Check. Horn-E finally ranged very far north and finally found a mark, pointed south, the On In trail. WTF. So, to far away to get the pack, three blocks, he decided to run the trail backwards. Past Lawrence homeless village and into Lincoln Park, past Dogs Beach and eventually ran into Garmin relaying trail. Well, we finally figured out what happened and he ran off to find the pack and Horn-E continued running on a No No trail. This led to the bird Sanctuary where he lost trail, Running around it, he finally found the rest of the pack, finally on trail. Horn-E went on backwards. Hell he has been backwards all of his life so this is good. They ran on and eventually though the bird Sanctuary scaring birds everywhere nesting for the night as they followed Its Too Soft and his mega flashlight. We all ran on and finished our trails and settled into a laid back circle and some nice relaxation. And all was good.

Tue Aug 4, 2020, The 4X2H4 Hash. Meat Inside Her hared from 2225 W. Campbell Park Drive. Another nice pack of 8 hounds for this trail through the hospital district. Who could possibly get lost here. False Advertising, an ideas? We take off and ran through a small residential area I never ran through before. After a quick Back Check, we regrouped at a Check and then scattered. Finally Garmin calls out to me that they went east and I follow to Damen and north and back west where I was able to short cut through a field of scrub and it looked like another Check and the pack was scattering. I ended up following Berts Special Friend to Damen and he headed south. Then across the street I see Garmin heading north and I short cut. I did see False Advertising heading that way at one point, but not again. We did get on trail and we eventually headed east as I followed Stiffy 4 Stiffies, Lifa and Lower Wackoff was right behind me. On east we went towards Arrigio Park. Just before there was a Check and that screwed a few FRBs for a bit and I caught up and we went to a Triple Split at Arrigio Park. Naturally I was a block to the south as they find the trail to the north. I return and they are gone. So, I make a few calculations with my slide rule and compass and T square and headed north and didn't see any marks. So I work my way north and west looking to cut off trail somewhere. Nothing. Finally I am at the expressway and figure that the hare had to cross over somewhere to my east so I head over the Expressway. Still nothing. I head west and there is a turn arrow. I'm On. I ran on and back over the expressway. Now heading west I finally get to a quad split at a little park. I pick right, through the park, and now I'm heading west on Harrison. And at Damen I find a Split, marked west. Damn, I'm behind again. I head west and finally no marks. But that is where I got off the bus and saw a mark. I head for that and run on west and it is On In. And at the finish, there is False Advertising who got lost early and marked that Split\. I was in front. A few minutes later in came Stiffy 4 Stiffies and Garmin and finally the rest of the pack. And there we held a nice laid back circle with Stiffy 4 Stiffies leading the circle. And all was good. Also on trail was Steps In Shit who I don't think I ever saw on trail but he came in with the pack.

On On
Horn-E
 

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